Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let there be snark.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

“woke” is the new caravan.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Everybody saw this coming.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

T R E 4 5 O N

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

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129Comments

  1. 1.

    Violet

    Why is Balloon-Juice so slow? Can someone please feed the hamsters? It was impossible to post here during last night’s Klown Kar debate and hasn’t been much better today.

    Also, too, edit button, lack thereof.

  2. 2.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Doggies playing in the snow. They’re having more fun than doggies should be allowed to have.

  6. 6.

    Violet

    Apparently the Oscar nominations were announced today. I’ve only seen one of the ones up for Best Picture: “The Descendants.” I thought it was incredibly average, although the actress who played George’s Clooney’s character’s oldest daughter was very good. And it’s set in Hawaii, so the scenery is good. Otherwise, meh. Very disappointed in Alexander Payne.

  11. 11.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Anybody know anything or have views on this Google announcement about sharing all user info across products with no opt-out?

  12. 12.

    Violet

    @Raven:
    Oh, was that nominated? I guess I missed that. I did see that one too. I agree, it was fun. Not a great film, but lots of fun if you know something about the time period and the various artists and writers. Some of the casting was inspired. So I guess I’ve seen two of them. I really want to see The Artist.

  13. 13.

    trollhattan

    @The Moar You Know:

    Frustrating game to watch, on account of the crappy offenses (how many unconverted third downs?) and that it was effectively ended via a blooper.

    Contrast with the the SF-NO game–freakishly entertaining.

  15. 15.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Raven: I really liked MiP, except that Owen Wilson always seems to play the same character no matter what he’s in.

  16. 16.

    Mark S.

    @Violet:

    I’ve seen . . . none of them.

    I see Meryl Streep has been nominated for the, what, 25th time? It’s for playing Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. I never heard of this movie. Is it any good?

  20. 20.

    General Stuck

    From the Charlie files, I want to note some very sweet behavior from the little guy.

    Part of my morning routine is using an exercise thingy that is a small plastic wheel with hand grips on each side, where you kneel and roll out to stretch and work on the lower back and abs.

    Charlie is a late sleeper, so he is sawing logs when I get up. But the past several weeks, when I use the abs roller, he hears me doing it, and rousts out to the living room, to stretch out right next to me in a similar fashion, then goes back to doggie sandland. At first I thought it was just a fluke, but he now does it every single morning.

  21. 21.

    Violet

    @Mark S.:
    No idea, haven’t seen it. It’s about Margaret Thatcher, and from the commercials on TV that I’ve seen, it looks like she does a credible job. About all I know.

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Agreed. He always seems to play the same character. My favorite iteration of that character is from Zoolander.

    And on politics, apparently Newt is refusing to participate in debates where the audience can’t participate. Hilarious.

  23. 23.

    Libby's person

    I’d watch the SOTU address tonight, but it’s agility class night, and there’s not much that can make me and Libby miss agility! I’ll have to watch the speech on the internet after I get back.

    @Benjamin Franklin: Thanks for the link! I’d forgotten about that.

  26. 26.

    Steeplejack

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    He’s always better with Wes Anderson. Bottle Rocket and The Royal Tenenbaums.

    And he was good as the Eurotrash model Hansel in Zoolander.

  29. 29.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Violet:

    And on politics, apparently Newt is refusing to participate in debates where the audience can’t participate. Hilarious.

    But not in the least bit surprising. Noot FEEDS on the raw hatred generated by the crowd. This in turn raises the level of hatred, and further feeds Noot. Positive feedback loop that keeps on giving.

    If, FSM willing, Noot is the nominee, the usual rules about decorum from the crowd during the debates will seriously cramp his style.

    OvenMitt, Rih, and the gnome would be wise to insist on the crowd being kept under control. Obama certainly will, and will benefit from cutting off Noot’s vampiric energy stream.

  30. 30.

    freelancer

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I really liked MiP, except that Owen Wilson always seems to play the same character no matter what he’s in.

    Really? I thought he was playing Woody Allen.

    I liked it, but when it comes to neurotic, self-absorbed, socially-inept Jewish comedians, I prefer Larry David.

    Here’s my top 10 (or 12) for last year, not in any particular order.

    Another Earth
    Rise of the Planet of the Apes
    Drive
    13 Assassins
    Red State
    Attack the Block
    X-Men: First Class
    Margin Call
    Warrior
    Moneyball
    Super 8
    Beginners

    I’ve seen the Descendants and agree with Violet’s summation of the movie. I’m about halfway through The Artist. Very cute movie.

  31. 31.

    gogol's wife

    @Mark S.:

    I haven’t seen a film since “The King’s Speech” (twice). Not counting 5000 films on TCM. No contemporary films sound as if I could even sit through them, let alone like them. I have no reason to watch the Academy Awards this year.

    Get off my lawn.

  34. 34.

    J. Michael Neal

    I just got done reading The Tiger’s Wifeby Tea Obreht. It was . . . fabulous. In some ways, it reminds me of The Time Trveler’s Wife, especially in the way it mixes the mundane and the magical.

    It has no plot. None. What’s it about? It’s about people. That’s really the most I can say. The blurb on the back that says:

    In a Balkan country mending from war, Natalia, a young doctor, is compelled to unravel the mystery of her grandfather’s recent death. Searching for clues, she turns to his worn copy of The Jungle Book and the stories he told her of his encounters over the years with “the deathless man.” But most extraordinary of all is the story her grandfather never told her – the legend of the tiger’s wife.

    isn’t even accurate, let alone complete. She doesn’t have the copy of Kipling, and she isn’t seeking to unravel anything about his death. It’s his *life* that she’s interested in. And that entirely skips all of the other stories in the book, such as that of Luka the butcher and Dariša the Bear.

    One of its joys is that it never comes out and says certain things that are apparent. The tales of the deathless man and the tiger’s wife are clearly connected, but that connection is never mentioned. I recommend it highly.

    And I have no idea whether my attempts to produce the special characters in “Tea” and “Darisa,” and with no fucking edit button, I can’t fix them.

  35. 35.

    Amir Khalid

    @Mark S.:
    The critics’ consensus is that Streep’s performance is the usual Streepish masterpiece of acting. But the film itself is more about Thatcher’s old age and senile dementia than ir is about politics. Which is kind of a waste, because you’d want a Thatcher biopic starring Streep to be a study of the politician who remains such a polarizing figure in Britain, 20 years after leaving No. 10.

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Amir Khalid:

    Say what? They gloss over what made The Iron Lady The Iron Lady?

    Should have made a trilogy: Iron Lady Rising, Iron Lady Ascendant (special guest stars: Argentine Generals and the Royal Navy), Iron Lady Declining.

  37. 37.

    Lockewasright

    The President is gonna be at my work tomorrow and I’ve just won a ticket in the employee raffle!

  43. 43.

    Raven

    Here’s a sample:

    This person was one of, if not THE worst, PM in history. IN. HISTORY. She destroyed jobs. Let me repeat that: she set about DESTROYING JOBS. She simply did not like working class people. I know to some (uniformed) readers this may seem an extreme statement; but her actions really do indicate that she had a visceral hatred for ordinary, average, working class people. She paved the way for our present economic crisis of “bubble and bust” financial markets and price gauging through haphazard deregulation and privatisation. IMO, she was nothing but a tool of the wealthy for the implementation of right-wing extremist social, political and economic policies that wrecked this country. And from many accounts, she was also a petulant cry-baby when anyone disagreed with her or she didn’t get her way and she ignored her more reasonable advisors unless they rubber stamped her idiocy. Most Brits HATE her. And any attempt to rehabilitate this right-wing fascist’s image through film will fail b/c the memory of this utter failure of a politician (and human being) is all too fresh in the minds of British people. Damn her to hell.

  44. 44.

    Brachiator

    Another poster noted a great web site which offers enhanced information about the State of the Union Address.

    A few people of special interest will be sitting with the First Lady. Among them, astronaut Mark Kelly, so I look forward to a touching acknowledgement of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.

    Senior Advisor Valerie Jarret will be there, a STFU to the recent gossip about power plays in the White House.

    Laurene Powell Jobs will be there. Take that, Android!

    And Debbie Bosanek will be there. Who’s she? Warren Buffet’s secretary.

    Expect some jabs from Obama about how much ordinary people pay in taxes, vs what people like Mitt pay.

    That’s how you do it, Chicago style.

  48. 48.

    JPL

    Today I went to see the Artist. If you need action, stay away but if you love movies go. It’s a tribute to the silent era and the film except for some overly done music is silent. The acting is terrific though, and I can’t imagine how difficult of a role it was. If you are an auditory person like myself, it takes a few minutes of adjusting to watching every scene. Most of us are animal lovers and there should be a special oscar just for the dog.

  49. 49.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Tweety just now: I’m waiting for the President to come up with a tax plan.

    I was really planning on not drinking today.

  50. 50.

    Raven

    @JPL: How does it compare with “Silent Movie”. The only spoken line in the film was by the great Marcel Marceau. Said “no”.

  52. 52.

    JPL

    @Raven: Are you sure because MSM sure likes her? Fox news watchers are gonna be so disappointed…
    Today I met a friend at the movies who listens to Fox and after the movie she said she missed the simpler times. I pointed out that the time frame was the beginning of the depression.

  56. 56.

    Brachiator

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Should have made a trilogy: Iron Lady Rising, Iron Lady Ascendant (special guest stars: Argentine Generals and the Royal Navy), Iron Lady Declining Rusting.

    Fixed.

    Better than even money odds that there will some Oscar joke about Iron Man meeting The Iron Lady.

    @freelancer:

    Here’s my top 10 (or 12) for last year, not in any particular order

    Pretty good list. I liked Rise of the Planet of the Apes and X Men, but thought that they both missed opportunities to be much more memorable.

    @Violet: I’m also a bit surprised that The Descendants is getting heaped with more praise than it might merit. On the other hand, I was very happy to see Rooney Mara get an Oscar nomination for her compelling work in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Also good to see Gary Oldman get a nomination for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

  57. 57.

    JPL

    @Raven: It’s different. The sounds you hear have to do with the silent movie stars’ stress. You should see it. I tend to get antsy during movies and I didn’t check my watch until it was almost over.

  58. 58.

    Calouste

    @Mark S.:

    Let’s just say that if you live in the UK, you might want to stock up on champagne the moment it is announced she is close to death, because when she finally kicks the bucket, it’s going to be out of stock.

  59. 59.

    MikeJ

    Am I the only person who upon seeing SOTU has his brain auto correct it to STFU, which is what I wish Obama would say?

  61. 61.

    Brachiator

    @JPL:

    Today I went to see the Artist. If you need action, stay away but if you love movies go. It’s a tribute to the silent era and the film except for some overly done music is silent.

    There have been reports about people going to see this movie, and asking for their money back because it’s a silent movie. I hope this is just an Urban Legend.

    @Raven:

    How does it compare with “Silent Movie”. The only spoken line in the film was by the great Marcel Marceau. Said “no”.

    Spoilers!!

  63. 63.

    Violet

    @S. cerevisiae:
    Hah! That’s some good stuff. I loved this:

    Belatedly, Pawlenty has found his venom sac. And on Monday morning, he poured it on Newt Gingrich during a conference call with reporters.
    __
    “For Republicans and conservatives all across this country, a question is going to have to be as they consider Newt Gingrich as a potential nominee for president: Really? I mean, really?”

    SNL should do a special “Really? With Seth and Amy” just for TPaw. It would be a very polite “Really?”

  64. 64.

    JPL

    In the olden days of this blog, there was a preview function for those of us who are hyper and don’t take the time to proofread. Those were the good old days. IMO

  66. 66.

    Elliecat

    @Raven: back in the day, a friend in the UK sent me a couple newspapers. This was at the time Bobby Sands and others at Maze prison were on hunger strike. The headline on one paper was something like “Thatcher to Sands: Go Ahead and Die”. IIRC, that was pretty much exactly what she was saying to the hunger strikers.

    More recently came across a columnist in a UK paper pointing out that everyone lamenting last summer’s looters and blaming their aimless greed on reality TV and materialism ought to remember that it was Margaret Thatcher who declared, back in the 80s, that there is no such thing as society.

  68. 68.

    General Stuck

    BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS

    Senate wingnut threatens to never confirm DOJ lawyer again that wrote legal opinion saying Senate wingnuts could not block President Obama from recess appointing people the senate wingnuts won’t confirm. Closed barn door sees the horses ass.

    Senate Judiciary Committee ranking member Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) said Monday evening that he doubts that the Senate will ever confirm again the Obama administration Justice Department official who wrote an opinion that said recess appointments can be made while the Senate is not technically in recess.

    In other news, Newt Gingrinch threatens to be a mean spirited asshole if people don’t vote for him.

  69. 69.

    freelancer

    @JPL:

    Today I went to see the Artist. If you need action, stay away but if you love movies go. It’s a tribute to the silent era and the film except for some overly done music is silent. The acting is terrific though, and I can’t imagine how difficult of a role it was. If you are an auditory person like myself, it takes a few minutes of adjusting to watching every scene. Most of us are animal lovers and there should be a special oscar just for the dog.

    There’s a pretty great performance by another JRT in Beginners.

  72. 72.

    General Stuck

    So much for the Romney electability theory for appealing to indie voters.

    A new Washington Post-ABC News poll shows Mitt Romney’s popularity has dropped dramatically with an unfavorable rating at 49% and favorable rating at 31%

    It’s even worse among independents: 51% don’t view him favorably while just 23% do.

    ouch

  75. 75.

    barath

    It’s a bit unfortunate that President Obama is going to tout natural gas / oil drilling in the SOTU tonight. I just figured I’d try to write up why this is a bad idea and what we really should be focusing on re: energy.

    (Hint: the plan starts with Ji and ends with mmyCarter)

  80. 80.

    Roger Moore

    @Violet:

    And on politics, apparently Newt is refusing to participate in debates where the audience can’t participate.

    This is the guy who the wingnuts expect to crush Obama in a series of Lincoln-Douglass debates? I guess he might, if he can pack the audience with people who will drown out anything Obama tries to say.

  83. 83.

    Schlemizel

    @Raven:
    I love that movie – pure corn-ball but dang its fun, all sight gags except for the mime having the only speaking part!

  84. 84.

    Southern Beale

    Oh yay, we’re saved. The elites have their own special, private version of Facebook now, which the creator says they will use to solve global problems like pandemics and financial crises.

    Right. This explains why global problems have existed since forever. Lack of a special super-exclusive version of Facebook.

  91. 91.

    trollhattan

    @S. cerevisiae:

    A Romney/Pawlenty ticket would be the most boring ticket in history.

    I’m guessing they’re trotting out Mitch Daniels to do the SOTU rebuttal as a potential veep screen test. We all remember how well that went for President Bobby Jindal.

    Have to admit, the well of Republican vile characters runs deep and sour.

  93. 93.

    scav

    @The Moar You Know: If it’s any consolation, I think crotch spots evokes about exactly the correct degree of vivid revulsion. Not quite white mean level of brilliance but an entirely honorable and serviceable result.

  95. 95.

    Cat Lady

    If anyone in the Boston area wants to listen to liberal sports talk guys, it’s Felger and Mazz in the afternoon on the SportsHub. Felger is kind of a DFH, and Mazz is smart and proud of it (Tufts). They shit talked Tim Thomas’s classless act, and then Felger made fun of him probably going on Hannity and being a hero to “those people”, which prompted a call accusing Felger of being a bigot, who then said “by those people I mean Fox watching wingnuts”, and then the wingnut admitted he said he watched Fox and started to get huffy and Felger hung up on him and didn’t back down. They don’t do politics because it turns too many people off, but they handled it just right.

  97. 97.

    Roger Moore

    @Southern Beale:
    I found this amusing:

    “You can bring the right people and the right information together to solve problems, such as the financial crisis, pandemics and food shortages,” he said.

    I’m sure he meant “problems, such as street uprisings, uppity workers, and threats to regulate your profitable businesses”. Those are the real problems facing the world’s elite. In practice, of course, they’re just going to use it to arrange hookups at Davos and share pictures of themselves getting smashed in exclusive, members-only clubs.

  98. 98.

    JPL

    @Raven: MSNBC has an article up that might interest you.. A former dentist in Massachusetts has pleaded guilty to Medicaid fraud for using paper clips instead of stainless steel posts in root canals (okay that was mean)
    When I had a root canal, I didn’t take a pain med before bed and woke to throbbing about one in the morning. Take care of yourself and you’ll be fine tomorrow.

  99. 99.

    Raven

    @JPL: Ha, fortunately we’ve been with this dentist for some time. He also teaches at the Medical College of Georgia so I feel pretty good about his work. I will say that he didn’t say “root canal” when I went in with my issue today. He just said” we need to clean that out”!

  100. 100.

    trollhattan

    @JPL:

    A friend is an endodontist and I learned early on it’s best not to ask him open-ended questions about “what can go wrong?”

    “It’s all in your head” doesn’t make for a comforting response in this instance.

  101. 101.

    kay

    So. Gingrich lobbied Fannie for 5 years yet he released ONE year’s contract.

    Hah!

    He really thinks people are idiots.

  102. 102.

    Roger Moore

    @Cat Lady:
    In other sports-related news, India’s bowlers have continued to embarrass themselves in Australia. Ponting and Clarke have partnered for 251, and are set to come back out and add to the carnage to start day 2. I won’t be surprised in India is forced to follow on in the second innings.

  105. 105.

    Joel

    @fivethirtyeight
    Nate Silver
    “Having a roster with 3 catchers and 6 DHs is the new Moneyball”

  106. 106.

    kay

    Well what, Raven?
    You say that and I get nervous, like I forgot to do something :)
    Gingrich?
    Bloomberg is going after the whole file, plus they’re interviewing people who worked with the creep at Fannie.
    Bloomberg news. Not the mayor.

  108. 108.

    Anoniminous

    @Raven:

    The scenes in Stein’s apartment in Midnight in Paris caused me to gasp. The art on and leaning against the wall are now worth a minimum $500 million and probably much, much more.

    I doubt she paid over a 1,000 francs for any of ’em.

  114. 114.

    Brachiator

    @Southern Beale:

    We saw Hugo last week. Loved it. But we saw it in 3D and I’m not sure you need to. I really hate the whole 3D thing, it’s gimmicky. Hugo works without it.

    But, but, one of the reasons that Scorsese did the film was because he wanted to stretch out and see if he could make a film in which 3D was an integral part of the narrative.

    @Anoniminous: RE: Iron Man meeting The Iron Lady.

    Sparks will fly.

    Clang! We have a winner.

  117. 117.

    Anoniminous

    @Brachiator:

    Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. (Try the Fiesta Kitty Tacos, they are Tunch© approved.)

    And, BTW, I saw what you did, there.

    I also observe the nincompoop is back.

  118. 118.

    handsmile

    Re Margaret Thatcher: What I regard as one of the greatest, most chilling protest songs ever written, Elvis Costello’s “Tramp the Dirt Down” was a response to the rule of this sociopath.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-BZIWSI5UQ

    The recently-released film, “The Iron Lady”, for which Meryl Streep has been honored, has been torn to shreds by all but the most right-wing elements of the British media for its craven whitewashing of her regime.

    There is now a campaign in Britain advocating that upon Thatcher’s death no public monies should be expended for her funeral services. As a tribute to her implacable beliefs in the righteousness of the free market and the limited role of the state, only private funds should be drawn upon for this purpose.

  121. 121.

    Benjamin Franklin

    @Veritas:

    No worse than these infamous 16 words from STOTUS;

    “Bush: The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.”

  123. 123.

    Schlemizel

    @Veritas:
    Where ya been painful rectal itch? We were all waiting for you to show up crowing about how you predicted Willards big win in Suck Carolina.

  124. 124.

    harlana

    wow, making people listen to a whiny little loser like Pawlenty on your behalf is not going to endear you to the general public

  125. 125.

    maya

    This being 2012 AND an election year, shouldn’t conserv-Hollywood be busy filming the greatest war movie eva in the history of the free world – the Battle of Granada? Who would play Ronald Maximus Reagan? Will Nancy have complete discretionary control? Will Stormin’ Norman be utilized as Military Adviser?
    There’s plenty of leeway for more than a few hotties who would be cast as the hapless American medical students one step away from losing their Xtian virtues to the ravaging hoards of…. who were those hoards exactly? Maybe that’s where it all breaks down. Still, I’d Netflix it just for fun.

  126. 126.

    General Stuck

    Was wondering if Obama was going to go for immigration reform, rather than not with the complicated politics of that issue. Was glad he mentioned it, and hope dems take the risk of pushing for comp reform before the election. I think it’s a winner, overall.

  127. 127.

    Lojasmo

    Got a 3 terabyte network hard drive, and am backing up Mrs. Lojasmo’s nearly defunct 150 gig MacBook. This is going to take a long time.

  128. 128.

    Lojasmo

    @Veritas:

    So did mitt come in within five of the blow frog?

    No?

    I hear he is trailing by six points in Florida, down from a 26 point lead just a month ago.

    Must suck to be a republican right about now.

  129. 129.

    moron

    Is that thing a big branch behind the dog or is that a huge, several-foot-long poop coming out of his bottom?

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