• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

The willow is too close to the house.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

This blog will pay for itself.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

People are complicated. Love is not.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Domestic Politics / If I Had Known It Was This Easy

If I Had Known It Was This Easy

by John Cole|  January 27, 20123:39 am| 40 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Post-racial America, Assholes

FacebookTweetEmail

Ever play those games where you state if you could only have one type of food for the rest of your life, it would be… For me, if I could only have one kid of food for the rest of my life, hands down it would be Mexican. Could eat it every single fucking day, three times a day, from huevos rancheros to cochinita pibil to carne asada, and would never miss any other type of food. Period. Apparently, I missed my meal ticket:

Two days after a Connecticut mayor delivered an errant comment about eating tacos to support East Haven Latinos, some of whom are the alleged victims of police mistreatment, Mayor Joseph Maturo Jr. apparently got his wish.

Some 500 tacos were delivered to his office Thursday after a Latino activist group called Junta for Progressive Action launched a text-for-tacos campaign to draw attention to the comment, which Maturo later apologized for.

In the interview Tuesday, a local reporter pointed out that there were no Latino officers on East Haven’s police force.

“And your point being?” Maturo responded.

Asked what he planned to do for the Latino community in light of the discrimination allegations, the mayor said, “I might have tacos when I go home, I’m not quite sure yet.”

That set off the activist group, a local branch of the Reform Immigration for America organization, which said that anytime someone texts the word “taco” to 69866, it will deliver a taco to the mayor on their behalf.

If you promise to send me tasty tacos and other latino cuisine, I’ll turn this blog into a hispanic bashing monopoly. I swear.

I like lots of cilantro, though, and think pico de gallo is the greatest thing ever, so please include lots of both, you worthless taco-eaters. Just call me John Cole Mencia.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Not Just a River In Egypt
Next Post: Why? Because He Can. »

Reader Interactions

40Comments

  1. 1.

    Comrade Mary

    January 27, 2012 at 3:43 am

    Love, love, love Mexican, but you’ll have to pry Indian food out of my warm, turmeric-stained hands.

    Love cilantro, too, also.

  2. 2.

    Pavonis

    January 27, 2012 at 3:46 am

    Strange this happened in East Haven. New Haven next door caused a big stir a few years back by issuing ID cards which could be used in banks, libraries, etc… to anyone regardless of citizenship status. Conservatives were in an uproar over the city’s efforts to help illegal immigrants.

  3. 3.

    Groucho48

    January 27, 2012 at 3:48 am

    For me, it’d be a toss up between Mexican and Italian.

    I wonder what the proportion of Hispanic voters is in that town?

  4. 4.

    Martin

    January 27, 2012 at 3:50 am

    I think Zooey Deschanel is a horrible, vile human being that shouldn’t be permitted citizenship.

    (Whatever organization delivers her to me, please call ahead so I don’t inadvertently leave her in the rain – even though she’d deserve it.)

  5. 5.

    Pavonis

    January 27, 2012 at 3:53 am

    @Groucho

    Wikipedia says 5.68%
    Though there are more in New Haven at 9.39%.

    Still, the county as a whole is pretty liberal so the mayor might be in trouble.

  6. 6.

    furioso ateo

    January 27, 2012 at 4:02 am

    Ugh, thanks for using Mencia as your go to Hispanic name. God I hate that guy. With you on the lots of cilantro thing though.

  7. 7.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    January 27, 2012 at 4:23 am

    I love Mexican food (and we have a couple of real Mexican joints in town!) but the abusers of cilantro need to be hunted down, shot, gutted, stuffed with cilantro, put in cement shoes, then stuffed into a cannon and shot into the most distant sun from our galaxy.

    At the very least.

  8. 8.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 27, 2012 at 4:34 am

    Mmmmm….Fajitas, with rancho beans and rice, and a blended caddy margarita.

    Used to be my standard Friday lunch!

  9. 9.

    permazorch

    January 27, 2012 at 4:41 am

    You can’t just give a blanket answer like that! One food means one dish, goddamnit! Choose carne asada or huevos rancheros, but not potato dishes, damn it!

  10. 10.

    ant

    January 27, 2012 at 4:47 am

    Some 500 tacos were delivered to his office Thursday

    lol

  11. 11.

    amk

    January 27, 2012 at 5:20 am

    With all the race baiting by the whiteys, wonder which country they will emigrate to when their numbers have dwindled to a minority in coupla decades.

  12. 12.

    Nemo_N

    January 27, 2012 at 5:24 am

    Read the article earlier and made me crave tacos so I’m preparing some tomorrow (picadillo).

    Thanks for reminding me of cilantro.

  13. 13.

    abo gato

    January 27, 2012 at 5:36 am

    Oh man, you need to get your ass to San Antonio if you wants some fine Mexican food. Whatever kind of crap you are eating in WV cannot, I mean CANNOT be Mexican food. Seriously. I have eaten so called Mexican food all over the country and it beats the hell out of me why it’s so shitty, especially since so many restaurants in places like NYC have cooks from Puebla in the back.

    No kidding though, come to SA and you can’t go 3 miles down any road and not come across 20 or so hole in the wall, mama and papa kind of places to eat that will knock your socks off. And cheap? You can get a fine lunch for 4.99 or 5.99 and that includes your tea.

  14. 14.

    Schlemizel

    January 27, 2012 at 6:34 am

    I’m one of those that cilantro tastes like soap. I like it in small quantities but it overwhelms me if overdone.

    If I had to pick only one nations food it would be China but thats probably not fair as there is more variety in that one country than on most continents.

    Actual French food (minus the pretensions which even the French are finally tired of) would be a close second.

  15. 15.

    Yevgraf

    January 27, 2012 at 6:42 am

    That “cilantro as soap” thing means you’re allergic to it.

  16. 16.

    Kirk Spencer

    January 27, 2012 at 7:08 am

    What about ‘Merican? I mean, texmex or pizza or suthun or, well, any of the stuff you can’t find if you go to the alleged original nation.

  17. 17.

    Cassidy

    January 27, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Soul food. Hands down.

    I made a braised pork loin the other day with tomatillos and tomatoes and green chiles. It was good. Or so my family said. I had it cooking before I went off to work, so I’ve only had leftovers.

  18. 18.

    Maxwel

    January 27, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Thai for me.

  19. 19.

    gnomedad

    January 27, 2012 at 7:54 am

    See, no need for food stamps. Just become a public official and say something stupid.

  20. 20.

    Cat Lady

    January 27, 2012 at 9:10 am

    New Mexican beats old Mexican. There’s nothing better than a chicken enchilada in a blue corn tortilla with green chile, or a bowl of green chile stew with a basket of hot sopapillas with honey. Green chiles make everything better, and hold the cilantro, plz. kthx.

  21. 21.

    Chris

    January 27, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Middle Eastern food – easily the best on the planet.

  22. 22.

    timb

    January 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

    @amk: It’ll have to be some European socialist country if there is any justice in the world (and there is not).

    All the angry whites moving to Finland! Those poor Finns, they don’t deserve it; they already have the Russians on their border.

  23. 23.

    Joy

    January 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Estoy contigo. Me gusta mucha la comida mexicana. I could eat it morning, noon and night and I’m not even remotely latina.

  24. 24.

    Danton

    January 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Here’s a recipe to make really good frijoles; follow it closely.

    Stuff you’ll need:

    1 cup pinto beans, carefully cleaned and well washed.
    1 large yellow onion
    sea salt
    cumin (discard that jar of cumin you opened last year and get a new jar; the old cumin has lost all its flavor)

    1. Peel and cut the onion in half. Put the onion and beans in a saucepan. Cover with cold water and then add a bit more water to keep the beans covered as they swell. Cover the pan, put it in the frig, and let the beans absorb the water and soften overnight.

    2. Before cooking, add more water–if necessary–to just cover the beans. Put the pan on the stove and simmer on low heat. Cook the beans slowly for best results. If you need to add water during the cooking process, add BOILING HOT water.

    3. The beans are fully cooked when they’re soft and falling apart. If there’s a lot of excess water, remove the lid from the pan and allow it to cook off.

    4. Pick out the onion if you wish. Add sea salt and cumin to taste, a little at a time, until the beans have the flavor of frijoles you eat at a good New Mexican restaurant. (NB: Never salt legumes before they are fully cooked.)

  25. 25.

    Birthmarker

    January 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

    One food forever-have to go with Asian. Vietnamese, Thai, and Chinese/Korean/Japanese…ummm.

    Good Middle Eastern food is underrated.

  26. 26.

    Shinobi

    January 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Best taco I have ever had: Big Star Fish Taco in Chicago’s Wicker Park. I don’t even LIKE fish tacos.

  27. 27.

    Hungry Joe

    January 27, 2012 at 11:53 am

    @Cat Lady:

    I’d call it a tie, but yeah, New Mexican food is way beyond awesome. Can’t figure out why it hasn’t caught on in California.

  28. 28.

    Tone In DC

    January 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    In San Diego, there was a place off Route 5 that made burritos the way they should be, filled to bursting with carne asada and the veggies on the side. Their tortillas were great too, none of this chewy-as-rubber shit from Don Pablo’s.

  29. 29.

    oldswede

    January 27, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @Pavonis:
    When the Italian immigrant population of New Haven rose on the economic ladder, they moved to East Haven. They were replaced by the newest immigrants, the Latinos.
    The old Italian neighborhoods like Fair Haven (which abuts East Haven), are now speaking Spanish. Note please that the mayor who offered the ID Cards is a Democrat named DeStefano.
    oldswede

  30. 30.

    Kilkee

    January 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    I would like to say Irish in a misguided stab at tribal loyalty, but I could hear the derisive laughter even as the thought ran through my head.

  31. 31.

    wrb

    January 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    I hate cilantro.

    One leaf renders a delicious dish inedible.

    Nothing else this side gasoline or skunk cabbage has such power of awfulness.

    And there is a reason. It tastes like poison, to those of us who are more highly evolved:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.html

  32. 32.

    wrb

    January 27, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @Kilkee:

    There was an Irish guy who started an italian restaurant here. Beautiful upscale riverfront setting right in front of the pelicans’ favorite spot for showing the areal acrobatics and landings.

    Most uninspired food I’ve ever had. Lasagnia: fat noodles drowned with ketchup.
    Spagetti: skinny noodles drowned with ketchup.

    Truly. It was amazing. How could someone be that unaware?

  33. 33.

    wrb

    January 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    It is a terrible dilemma when you are eating at a friend’s who has gone to great trouble and you find that the food has been touched by cilantro. Picking the stuff off doesn’t work, the dish is inedible.

  34. 34.

    Kilkee

    January 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @wrb: For the longest time, somewhat inexplicably, the Irish were the absolute worst cooks in the world. (As for so much else, I blame the English.) In recent years, though, they have awakened to the crazy idea that they are an agricultural nation surrounded by water and crossed by rivers, and that, holy God, if they don’t boil the produce, beef, lamb and fish for hours some of it tastes great! There are now some very respectable restaurants throughout Ireland, and some places like Kinsale (near Cork) are almost foodie Meccas. Of course, most of the good food is, really, French, but so be it. It’s locally sourced Irish food cooked by French-trained chefs, which ain’t half bad.

  35. 35.

    Tim in SF

    January 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    John Cole, you should go to San Diego just for the Mexican food. It’s better there than anywhere else. I live in San Francisco and I can’t get anything up here near as good as the average place down there. And everywhere up here puts fucking rice in everything. FUCK!

  36. 36.

    wrb

    January 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    @Kilkee:

    I’m sure there is. This guy was so bad he had to be special.

  37. 37.

    CynDee

    January 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Farm-grazing grass-fed beef. For. The. Rest. of. My. Life.

  38. 38.

    stevestory

    January 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    That set off the activist group, a local branch of the Reform Immigration for America organization, which said that anytime someone texts the word “taco” to 69866, it will deliver a taco to the mayor on their behalf.

    done and done

  39. 39.

    The Golux

    January 27, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    My favorite breakfast is a fritatta with finely diced, sauteed jalapeno mixed in with the egg, topped with sliced avocado and cheese (usually the pre-shredded four-cheese Mexican blend). I’ll often add thinly sliced scallion before putting on the cheese, but the other day we had none, but we had some cilantro, so I put sprigs of that on.

    Oh. My. God.

    Salt, pepper and Chipotle Tabasco. As my sister used to say when we were kids, “Wowee whippers”.

  40. 40.

    Maus

    January 27, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    These dingbats do realize that he’s not trying to take a Joss Whedon show off the air, right?

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • sab on Late Night Open Thread: Debating The Dubious Privilege of Being Obnoxious in Public (Feb 6, 2023 @ 5:06am)
  • Tony Jay on Late Night Open Thread: Debating The Dubious Privilege of Being Obnoxious in Public (Feb 6, 2023 @ 5:02am)
  • 206inKY on Late Night Open Thread: Debating The Dubious Privilege of Being Obnoxious in Public (Feb 6, 2023 @ 5:01am)
  • NotMax on Late Night Open Thread: Debating The Dubious Privilege of Being Obnoxious in Public (Feb 6, 2023 @ 4:58am)
  • Tony Jay on Late Night Open Thread: Debating The Dubious Privilege of Being Obnoxious in Public (Feb 6, 2023 @ 4:49am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!