Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

This fight is for everything.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Republicans in disarray!

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

I was promised a recession.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

All your base are belong to Tunch.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

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Reader Interactions

200Comments

  3. 3.

    c u n d gulag

    For particularly good local, state, and national wingnut politicians, how about “What This Country Needs Is Public Hangings!” – where we can comment away on their lunacy.

  4. 4.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    “One Nation Under Tebow”

    “In Romney We Blindly Trust”

    “One Tunch To Rule Them All”

  5. 5.

    Chico Escuela

    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro
    -HST-

    Simply a must have if you’re gonna do it

  18. 18.

    Karen

    “Liberal in name only (LINO)”

    “Don’t get your panties in a wad, Momma!” (something a young boy said to his mother on Toddlers & Tiaras)

  20. 20.

    My Truth Hurts

    Occupy This
    Some People Say
    Cake – Let Them Eat It
    Liberal Cats
    Corporate People Have Rights Too!
    Thin Skinned And Brittle
    I’s In Yer Moonbass, Killing Yer d00ds!

  23. 23.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    We really should include:

    “Oops!” and

    “We neither read nor write the Ron Paul Newsletter”

    Also too:

    “Small varmints, if you will”

  30. 30.

    DanielX

    Hmmm, how about

    Who Is Saul Alinsky?

    Newt clearly hasn’t figured out that this particular supposed insult is about twenty years past its sell-by date. One of the disadvantages of being a would-be policy wonk with an attention deficit problem…

  32. 32.

    Exurban Mom

    Citizen_X, you stole mine. When I saw Kos tweet “Mars, Bitches!” the other day, I had a beverage versus keyboard accident.

  39. 39.

    Hungry Joe

    “Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted” — from Mark Twain’s NOTICE intro to “Huckleberry Finn.”

    It could rotate with the rest of the NOTICE: ” … persons attempting to find a moral in [this narrative] will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in [this narrative] will be shot.”

  42. 42.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    “Beware of Greeks bearing debts and Germans bearing loan modifications”

  46. 46.

    Michael

    @Hal: AHHH I couldn’t figure out why it kept loading like that. Same problem. Thank you.

    My suggestion is, “This blog will self-deport in 15 seconds” or some other play off that stupid phrase.

    Also, “Blogs are people, my friend”

  49. 49.

    R-Jud

    @LT: I COL’d (chuckled out loud).

    Seconding xian @ 43.

    Also: “The purposes of this blog are pets, politics, and… uh… we forget the third one.”

  50. 50.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Hal:

    It might be loading a page from your history, rather than the website itself. Have you tried clearing the cache/history etc and seeing what happens?

  52. 52.

    Michael

    @LT:

    If you want to get clever, you could make it:

    Putting quotation “marks” in the wrong place since…

  54. 54.

    p.a.

    “I love this country so much I’m not responsible for my actions.”
    “My name may be on this blog but I don’t know what’s in it.”

    “the party of personal responsibility”

  56. 56.

    Comrade Mary

    @Hal: Nope, it has happened to me, too. Sure, we can clear out caches and history, but maybe the tech fairy can check the server configuration (you’re using Apache, right?).

  82. 82.

    TG Chicago

    I like 4tehlulz’s suggestion, but perhaps “Pants-on-fire true”. Or even better, “The truth is the lie of the year”.

    I also like “Objectively pro-Saddam”. Probably too old-fashioned, but I dig it.

  85. 85.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Michael:

    Also, “Blogs are people, my friend”

    This one gets my vote. I think Mitt will generate a few taglines over the next few months

    @Jennifer: couldn’t bring myself to watch Maher last night. Bringing Mark Foley on borders on teh exploitive. I figure Rohrbacher is just a big blustering fool who probably just shouted everyone else down. I’m fine with Maher having conservatives over-represented, but he needs to find some who aren’t either bullies or boring sanctimonious prigs like Frum. And… Kennedy? Are we doing the time warp again?

  87. 87.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @scav:

    If FYWP isn’t a tagline yet, I’d like to know why.

    I’ll handle this one. Because of FYWP, obviously.

  94. 94.

    ABL

    @sb: i’m not “interpreting” anything, dillhole. I’m not even hosting the chat.

    feel stupid yet? because you should.

  98. 98.

    Kyle

    I personally think none of us should ever post anything unless the last sentence is “If you vote for a republican, you are voting for a bad person.” So a tag line seems the least we could do.

  102. 102.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    “Stuffing Arizona’s Wagging Finger Back Up Its Tightly Puckered White Ass.”

  105. 105.

    WaterGirl

    I did a little google searching and found lots of suggestions for rotating tag lines.

    fucking napkin doodle economics

    Romney 2012: He’s better than a murderer

    “squid-clouds of butt-hurt over the Latest Shiny Object”

    “a mixture of analysis, gossip and allegation”

    “established facts are willfully ignored”

    “Splendorous celebration of connection and peace”

    ‘This blog can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.’

    I wish a muthaf*cka would try to punch me in the face.

    peculiar yet charming reticence

    “Cop-on-the-beat”

  106. 106.

    WaterGirl

    And some more:

    This Blog is Extremely Knowledge.

    And for the love of fucking christ, can you other front pagers stop making stupid fucking categories you only use once?

    diary entry from Baby Zell Miller

    “Licking the cone

    Kevin Dujan’s Imaginary Friends are Laughing At You

    Speaking of Whores

  108. 108.

    WaterGirl

    And the rest:

    For the Love of Everything Holy, Stay Away From the Hookers.

    The motherfucking President of the motherfucking United States is being called “presumptuous.”

    tickling the penguin

    panic-prone pure progressive pony pouty emails

    But, man, you really did have to see that rock to believe how much it looked like the Son of God screwing the pooch.

    On that property, there was a rock that looked an awful lot like a bearded man sodomizing a Irish Setter, and some person from far in the past had painted “Jesus Buttfucking Big Red” on it.

  115. 115.

    General Stuck

    @ABL:

    Come back to BJ, ABL, so Cole doesn’t have to link to your blog posts like some guilt ridden puppy dog that shit on the carpet for not knowing any better.

  117. 117.

    Skippy the Wondermule

    All of the cynicism, none of the guilt

    What’s left of the right that was right

    Better than sex with Bob Dole (way better)

    As conservative as Santa Claus

    Tastes great, less filling!

    Making enlightenment more affordable

    Twice as smart as you and half as smart as us

    Small enough to screw in a light bulb

    Less strict than Catholicism and half as forgiving

    Where witch doctors go to become Shamans

    You spot it, you got it!

    The wonder bra of political blogs

    Julie Newmar is the only Catwoman we ever needed

    Batteries not included

    Keeping prostitution illegal so our friends don’t pay taxes

    Where sex with robots is a dream away

    The porridge bird doesn’t lay his egg in the air, you only think it does.

    Never trust anyone under 30

    A textbook case of something but afraid to ask what

    Declaring nature to be illegal, one idiot at a time

    Laughing all the way to the bunk

    Our only criticism of the Dalai Lama is that he refuses to put out.

    Where “nothing could be further from the truth” is shown to mean everything you said is true.

    Reincarnating again and again, until we get it right

    Effing the ineffable every effing day

    Democracy is no damn good but everything else is much, much worse

    Everything on the Internet is true, it told me so

    Love your enemies, it scares the hell out of them

    Here until Thursday, try the veal!

  118. 118.

    stinkfoot

    What happened to all the scapegoating of Frances Fox Piven? I haven’t listened to Glenn Beck in awhile.

  122. 122.

    JGabriel

    Tagline suggestion:

    “The reason you can’t have nice things.”
    “All your moonbase are belong to us.”

    Seconding:

    My Truth Hurts‘s “Thin-skinned and brittle.”
    BethanyAnne‘s “Screw it. We’ll do it live.”
    Soldier Boy‘s: “Not Intended To Be A Factual Blog”?

    .

  128. 128.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    Two things that are certain in life: death and Mitt Romney lying about taxes.

  134. 134.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @General Stuck:

    What you wrote doesn’t have much to do with staying classy. On this much, we agree. If you know of an expiration date, feel free to share this knowledge with us. Other than that, maybe you could try stirring the shit-pot a little less and allowing Cole and ABL to work out their differences in their own way and time?

  135. 135.

    Donut

    Gonna need this one for certain if Romney is the nominee:

    I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake!

  140. 140.

    General Stuck

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:

    I expressed my opinion. It had nothing to do with you and I did say one word about the ABL haters on this blog. You and others are stirring the shit pot. And you are the one suggesting there’s an expiration date, using “never”. You some kind of moron.

    Maybe we need to have this out, for fuckwits like you and 13th generation to get smacked down to size some. So are you some kind of blogger counseling guru, on how and when the fallen out get back together?

  144. 144.

    13th Generation

    Jeebus Stuck, she’s got her own digs, you can go visit her whenever you like. But this blog is a lot more civil lately without her. Both sides do it!

  145. 145.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @General Stuck:

    I expressed my opinion.

    Sadly, yes, you did.

    It had nothing to do with you

    Ah yes, the old claim that BJ is Stuck’s personal space and no-one else gets to comment here.

    You and others are stirring the shit pot.

    As opposed to your invariably helpful and diplomatic attempts to bring people together by screaming insults?

    You some kind of moron.

    And you so horny, love me longtime, right?

    Maybe we need to have this out, for fuckwits like you and 13th generation to get smacked down to size some.

    And are you nominating your own ridiculous self for that job? Please, go ahead, punk, make my day.

    So are you some kind of blogger counseling guru, on how and when the fallen out get back together?

    Well, I am no General Stuckuphisownass that’s for sure.

  147. 147.

    General Stuck

    But this blog is a lot more civil lately without her. Both sides do it!

    I wouldn’t trade civil for having a hating piece of shit like you et all commenting, and ABL not front paging. That is no kind of peace that is worth much.

  148. 148.

    BO_Bill

    “It hurts when I pee.”

    Anyway, groveling at the feet of Angry Black Lady will not undo what was done. Nothing can. A dog whistle is a dog whistle.

  151. 151.

    smelter rat

    “Entitled to our entitlements”

    – a little Canadian content wouldn’t hurt, right?

  154. 154.

    General Stuck

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:

    Ah yes, the old claim that BJ is Stuck’s personal space and no-one else gets to comment here.

    Idiot. You started this shit, slamming me for making a comment not about you.

    And are you nominating your own ridiculous self for that job? Please, go ahead, punk, make my day.

    Maybe? if you keep running your mouth. I doubt you’d last all that long in a flame war though. Now reply with another stupid comment.

  156. 156.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @General Stuck:

    I doubt you’d last all that long in a flame war though.

    If I find a worthy opponent, I shall give the matter some thought, but a repetitious little wannabe like you isn’t a challenge worth considering. I am going out for a very nice Thai meal with some good friends. You can stay here and bark at your own reflection.

  163. 163.

    Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!

    “The banksters got a secret sixteen trillion dollar bailout, and all I got was this stupid T-shirt.”

  165. 165.

    wrb

    Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

  173. 173.

    moops

    I’ll go with

    “Let them eat cat food” (although that is reaching the end of its shelf life)

    “All part of Saul Alinsky’s plan”

    “Corporation Colbert 2016!”

    “Hold your nose and vote”

  175. 175.

    moops

    @TG Chicago:

    “The truth is the lie of the year”.

    that’s a keeper. It is a tagline that will see a lot of action this year I suspect.

    also “Hate on Whitey Day”

  177. 177.

    TG Chicago

    Thank you, moops!

    Seconding:

    “Not intended to be a factual blog”

    and

    “This blog could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months.”

  182. 182.

    Friday Jones

    More room for activities!

    Ronald Reagan and I were thisclose.

    Coming to you from a van down by the river.

    The word of the day is job. J. O. B.

  185. 185.

    puddle

    The new way to make plural’s is with an apostrophe.

    Or, just:

    The new way to make plural’s

  189. 189.

    Tehanu

    Das ist meshugah. They darker than us! Woof!
    The hippies were right.
    Applauding imperfect losers since 1776.
    Fucking logic, how does it work?
    Not all conservatives are stupid, but all stupid people are conservative.
    You didn’t want that American Dream anyway. [h/t Roy Edroso]
    Hitler wore pants! Just like Al Gore!
    They only call it Class War when we fight back.
    Republicans drove this country into a ditch and now they complain about the cost of the tow truck.
    Billowing clouds of Cheeto dust, avaunt!
    Chickenhawk Soup for the Soulless not sold here.
    Making us think. Usually, we think, WTF?
    Eagle rights lead to flea erections.
    God was my co-pilot … but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
    Jumping the shark, the humpback whale AND the giant squid since 2002.
    Nobody in this country got rich on his own. [h/t Elizabeth Warren]
    O tempura! O s’mores! [h/t Roy Edroso]
    Unlikability will only get you so far in politics.
    I had to slap the Invisible Face because the Invisible Hand couldn’t keep itself off my ass. [h/t Interrobang]
    A travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. [h/t TBogg]
    Proud, independent, self-reliant folks who don’t need nothin’ ‘cept billions in Federal handouts.
    I blog selflessly, out of the highest, most selfless of motives: spite. Anyone who does otherwise is a blockhead. [h/t Thers]
    Extremism in the contempt of asinine mendacity is no vice. [h/t Thers]

  192. 192.

    LanceThruster

    “If my dog had a face like yours, I’d shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards” ‘Hawkeye’ Pierce M.D.

  193. 193.

    Triassic Sands

    Suggestion:

    “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.”

    Christine O’Donnell on Romney.

  194. 194.

    Mr. Prosser

    A blog in copper armor standing in a thunderstorm shouting, “All gods are bastards.” (Paraphrase from Terry Pratchett’s Color of Magic)

    No fetuses were used in the making of this blog.

  195. 195.

    Platonicspoof

    Any suggestions?

    Why show me this clownfoolery if the plutocrats are past all hope?

    Wondering what the hell they have on John Cusack to make him do 2012.

  200. 200.

    Mnemosyne

    One I forgot until now:

    This dead horse isn’t going to beat itself.

    (Stolen from Dave Weigel.)

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