I honestly feel a little bit depressed about myself, my weight, and my social life, but I just watched 6 more episodes of the West Wing and am ready for bed.
Such a good show. And the fact I get to watch it without commercials with two dogs on my lap makes the show better.
Odie Hugh Manatee
One thing I learned long ago is that the grass is always greener on the other side. Actually, we get so into our ‘rut’ that anything outside of it looks attractive. Getting these feelings in the dark of winter isn’t unusual, it’s a gloomy time of year with the shorter days and crappy weather. Sometimes it means that you need to change things up a bit, open yourself to something new and different. Have a hobby (not involving a computer!)? Delve into it. Start a new project.
Buck up dude, everything changes. Especially when you are open to it!
As a last resort you could get caught robbing a bank, get sent to prison, hook up with some dumb sympathetic babe who lives to reform bad guys and when you get out you’re set for the rest of your life!
Or not. ;)
Xenos
Mid-life crises are no fun. If that is what it is – I would not want to presume and label it unfairly. However one defines success, even the evidently successful can find it empty at times.
Either way, thanks for the blog. On a daily basis it provides something that I need for my happiness, and do not find elsewhere in my life. This seems to be the case for many other people, too. You ought to be proud of that.
Random User Name
I’m guessing everyone feels depressed about their weight, hardly anyone is ever as in shape as they think they ought to be.
When I was at my lowest weight in my adult life in college – 25 years ago, AAAAARRGHHH!!! – I still thought I was too fat. But then again, I’m a chick, so it probably comes with the territory. Now I’d kill to be that thin again, but hey, it’s too much work. I’m okay with exercising enough to be healthy, but not enough to let it take over my life.
I don’t come out of lurkitude often, but I just wanted to say that you’re still good people, John Cole.
Oh, and puppies in your lap always makes everything better.
Arclite
Well, about weight, one thing I’ve learned over the years is that exercise alone cannot get the job done. I had to radically change my eating habits. And it had to be things I could live with since I knew I needed to make a permanent change or it would all come back again.
And I feel so much better when I am thinner: back pain goes away, foot pain goes away, indigestion and reflux go away with no fat pressing on my stomach and no tight belts.
It can be damn hard, esp when I’m up late and want a beer or a snack, or I’m under stress at work, but it’s worth it.
Watership
I started to feel a little SAD, the acronym, some time in my early 30s, I think. It’s not so bad anymore. And hey, I noticed today the timer that turns on my lights and fountain outside is coming on too early – days are getting noticeably longer.
OTOH, I recently caned all 7 seasons of the West Wing in about a month and a half, not too long after blowing through all 4 seasons of Battlestar Galactica in about 2.5 weeks. So, maybe I am an aging, anti-social lump with a growing middle who lacks motivation. Hard to say, really …
catdevotee
I understand mid-winter blues. I live in Oregon, where it sometimes rains for three weeks straight without any break. You just have to keep looking forward to the spring, which is not far away. Our crocuses are sprouting like mad already.
But the other thing is that we just have to savor the life that we have. This past week, a friend was diagnosed with lymphoma, another friend has a brain tumor, and another friend committed suicide leaving her husband and daughter bereft. Somehow these awful tragedies bring life into focus for me – I am even more aware of the fact that every moment could be my last, and that it’s crucial to live every day as if I’ll never see my beloveds again.
freelancer
Cheer up John.
I agree about the West Wing, it is a great show and I’m falling asleep to side B of disc 1 tonight. Currently I’m on Mr Willis of Ohio with Charlie vs. the soul patch douchebag from 24 and Skyline.
You may be feeling that self-conscious dread of showing the world more than you were comfortable with, but I can’t tell you how much of that is in your head. You are valued and appreciated by so many. Thank you for this place that we can gather and talk about bullshit. You may not admit it, even to yourself, but you have created something quite amazing here. That’s not nothing. I feel like it’s like the Island of Misfit Toys for the internet, but out there, where everybody else comments and contributes, it gets lost in the noise or it’s on facebook where every person is actually a misfit toy pretending that they’re the best thing the Lego corporation has ever rolled out.
Sleep easy, and tomorrow, you can tell me and the other regulars, sycophants, and haters to fuck off and we’ll smile and say “Oh, Cole. We love this place, and we love you. Hit us again.”
Goodnight, JC
PS I almost never presume to speak for other people, but I think it’s safe to say, even though you and I don’t have much of a back and forth dialogue for whatever reason, I feel secure in saying that most people here that visit BJ, lurking or otherwise, have great affection for you. And we know for a fact that those involved in your real life have told us that you are just about the best guy they’ve ever met. Do yourself a solid and acknowledge how valued you are.
PPS And hug Lily for me, I moved back in August and I miss my dog.
Suffern ACE
Hmmm. You could be a commentator on a blog in the same situation and not front pager no. 1.
You could also be invading Russia in 1914 without shoes or a coat. (Watching a documentary on the Ottoman Empire in WWI at the moment.) Sucked to be a soldier. Sucked to be an Armenian. In general, it sucked to be anywhere around there.
I’m going to mention Weight Watchers. I’ve lost 25 pounds since November. The iPhone app makes it easy to track. I’ve been eating a lot of steamed vegetables, but I am still enjoying it more than the wrap and chips I had been eating for lunch every day for the past 10 years.
Catherine
John, you’re awesome. I don’t comment much, but this is my favorite place on the internets. Even when you were a wingnut, it was obvious you were a really great guy, and I don’t say that about many wingnuts.
Your pets are right to love you.
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
Cole half of your posts on this site are about hosting or cooking for gatherings of friends and family. I might leave the house on a social occasion once every 3 months or so (usually because my wife wants me to entertain some of her work friends or something). I understand being depressed about what you haven’t got, but you also clearly have a whole circle of people here and in West Virginia that consider you good company. All of that aside from your pets. As to love, how’d it go with the marriage proposals in the comments from the other night? ;)
Glyph_2112
Let’s see, the same scenario except 2 jack russell’s instead of one and I am viewing Battlestar Galatica.
Netflix may have made some mistakes, but everyone of my kids are streaming shows with my account. I really can’t complain.
I am hooked as well. If only I can get the dogs to move when I need a new beer, I would be in heaven.
dance around in your bones
Dude, you should be proud of this incredible place on the ‘tubes that YOU created….it makes a lotta people happy. I always wondered if you sometimes felt like it was a kind of ball and chain you have to drag around all the time…the ball being full of a bunch of nattering nabobs.
But we iz happy nabobs, nattering away. Thanks for the space to natter.
I won’t comment about your weight; I think as we get older we ALL feel fat. Mostly because we are.
MacKenna
Heh, I’m watching season 4 of The West Wing.
Count your blessings, Cole. You have two dogs who love to sit on your lap.
Robert Waldmann
Well I know its not a social life, but you do have a high traffic blog visited by tens of thousands of people who think you are a genius. I mean really you are so smart that liberals came here back when you were a Republican. We wondered how could someone that smart be a Republican. I understand that you are not smart enough to be able to expalin that (Freudian typo not corrected because I like it).
Also on the weight thing, you have to use a different camera angle. You posted a photo shot up your nose. If you hold the camera above your head you look thinner. Also mirrors, if they slant down they will help your self image.
The West Wing is a good show, but it was a bit pathetic that Hollywood had a fantasy Democratic President during the Bush years. I would love a show, call it East Wing, about President Gingrich (just to thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that it is fiction). East Wing because the staff of the first Bedroom would change frequently.
blondie
Seriously what they said. This is my favorite place on the intertubes. Between the political commentary and the Lily pics (of which there have been frightfully few lately ) it has kept me sane through my brother’s multiple deployments and postpartum. (Well to be honest you my husband and liquor ) I I understand the weight thing. Just went through an episode at Victorias Secret of where absolutely nothing was in my size. Just know that regardless of how you feel about yourself you have tremendous value to the rest of us and Tunch too.
srv
How could someone not be depressed after a week of 3am posts? Somethings in your water, probably fracking chemicals.
And there are cookbooks by folks other than Paula Deen. Moderation of all things, except the hippie punching.
moops
Balloon Juice is a top tier blog. That is something to take pride in. It takes a lot of work. Have some warm happy thoughts of creating something for the greater good.
srv
And if anyone else has insomnia and Netflix, a tip: Castaway on the Moon. Awesome on many levels.
Waldo
Dude, less West Wing, more Zumba!
Seriously, a little exercise goes a long way. As little as 30 to 45 minutes every other day can make a huge difference. Pick something you won’t hate — maybe a brisk morning walk with your ipod playing great music — set some (realistic) goals for yourself and keep track of your progress.
It’s also a 2 for 1 deal: Works for your mental health as well as physical.
Batocchio
Hey, that sounds like a relaxing night (I finished up the ’79 Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy myself). Seasons 1-4 of The West Wing are great, season 5 is terrible (with a few exceptions), and the series actually gets decent again midway through season 6 to the end (season 7).
Weight just gets tougher for most of us as we get older; it’s hit me, too. It was easier when I was coaching or playing sports, running around for at least two hours a day, alas.
I have to agree with what other commenters have said, not to discount the blog itself – BJ has some good front page posts, and lively threads.
Tommy
Hey John. Long time lurker here. I almost never post comments, but have read your site multiple times each day for years. I feel like I kind of know you just cause of that :).
Now with that said I saw you posted your picture for the first time the other day. Since I don’t read the comment here or “troll” Republican blogs, I don’t know if people mocked you (I can maybe assume they did — people can be both mean and cruel).
But as a 5’4 male that used to weight a 100 pounds more in the early 90s (I now weight 132), I just want to say a few things if you will indulge me.
First weight loss, unless you have health issues I am not aware of, is something you do in fact have a lot of control over. Plus, from what I know about you it might be easier than you think.
When people found out I lost 100+ pounds and have kept it off for almost 20 years they ask how.
I explain I ate less and I did active things (notice I didn’t say I worked out).
From your posts I kind of assume you are not a person that cottons much to wimps and people that complain. That is good, cause to lose weight (IMHO) you have to eat a lot less. And that means at times you are going to be hungry. Your stomach is going to make strange sounds.
I am not saying starve yourself (although I did). But you have to eat less. I don’t have much patience for individuals that think there is some miracle diet they can pay a ton for where they can eat as much as they did before, exclude this or that, and lose weight.
BULL SHIT! Just efing eat less. This isn’t rocket science.
Couple that with being active. Again, notice I didn’t say workout. I’ve seen you work in your yard. Clearly you have dogs. Work in your yard more. Take your dogs for longer walks. You don’t have to lift weights 24/7. You don’t have to train for a marathon to lose weight.
You just need to be active. Heck go get a jump rope. Use a step in your house and do step-ups a few times a day.
Day one you don’t have to do these things for hours. In fact don’t! The big mistake people make is they start being active, when they might not have been very active in years, and go way over-the-top. Then they get really sore and give up.
Baby steps. Baby steps John.
I know you didn’t ask for any of this advice, but I do like you even if I don’t “really know you.” and weight lose is something that is VERY personal to me. Good luck!
Tommy
Tommy
@Batocchio
Somehow I’d never seen Breaking Bad. Watched all of Season 1 yesterday and part of Season 2. Going to finish Season 2. I literally have no idea how I am just getting into this show.
amk
yeah, cole. I too wish my life was like those sitcoms. Always laughing it up with smart, funny wimmin.
CaliCat
The weight thing can be a big bummer. I’m overweight but I’ve recently lost a few pounds due to a plan I created for myself. So far I’ve been losing weight slowly but it’s been a real challenge because I LOVE to eat and I HATE being hungry (like anyone likes being hungry). Actually, I’m quite hungry right at this moment because yesterday was my “free day” (once a week) and today is a “good day” so therefore I’m starving. Of course I’m not really starving, I had a reasonably portioned meal about three hours ago and now I’m feeling hunger pangs. But I refuse to give into them because I’m tired of being as heavy as I am. I just try to remind myself that in a week I can have pizza or whatever I want. I’ve realized that I need to structure my eating this way because I’m terrible at the everything in moderation thing.
Dick Dastardly
You’ve got the answer to your weight problem on your lap. Walk your dogs more and blog less. Read the latest news before you walk the dogs and while you’re walking your dogs, think about the latest news and what you want to blog about it. Then you end up posting slightly less but much higher quality posts (as more thought has gone into them) — your posts are still the most worth reading of any BJ front pager and they’ll be a lot better with more thought behind them — and you’ll be much fitter. Maybe some kind of diet regime too but for somebody who loves food that’s hard. All you can really do is walk the dogs more, trust me on this (boxer dog owner.) Walk at a speed that gets your heart going instead of ambling along and the weight will fall off.
Johannes
John, I identify. But you really have created a a community here–we raise money for good causes, political and animal welfare, console each other in hard times, crack each other up in frustrating times, and all without the gooey sentimentality which typifies this comment.
You did that, brother Cole.
Citizen_X
Some Handsome Family. A good song for being in the late-night dumps.
When, whenever Paul
Thinks of rain
Swallows fall in a wave
And tap on his window with their beaks
And when Paul
Thinks of snow
Soft winds blow ’round his head
And his phone rings just once
Late at night
Like a bird calling out
Wake up Paul, don’t be scared
Don’t believe you’re all alone
Wake, wake up Paul
Whisper clouds floating by
And the seeds falling softly
From the branches of the trees
Citizen_X
Also, on the exercise front: a bit less (as in NO) self-loathing, a bit more self-motivation. You’re a veteran, Cole, so you know you got it in you. Up ‘n at ’em, soldier.
Tiny Tim
Easy way to eat a bit less is cut out the things you don’t even like much. That might be bread, or desserts, or meat, or whatever. Stuff you eat normally because it’s put in front of you, part of the meal, but which you really don’t care that much about. If you’re a snacker, find a relatively low calorie snack item that is tasty and satisfying and stick to that instead of potato chips or whatever.
And do something like..go on a long hike every Saturday, at least once the weather is warmer. Not sure where exactly you are but I imagine there are some hiking trails around. Start with a good 2 hour walk and slowly build it up to 3-4. If you’re bored, bring some music or an e-book.
And if you’re really motivated, consider jogging. Just know that if you’re out of shape it will be really really hard at first, as in “one more step will kill me” hard. You won’t get very far. But that changes pretty quickly.
Or get a stationary bike and bike while watching West Wing.
Michelle
John you are freaking awesome!
Seriously, Balloon Juice is one of the better things in my life and you have totally nothing to be ashamed about. You are beautiful! :)
I too am an elderly shut-in and I know what it feels like. At least you have two wonderful dogs and a semi-homicidal cat. :)
Mitch
John, thanks for everything you do here. I don’t have anything else to say besides that. Except I took of 40 lbs due to a type 2 diabetes scare, and you can, too.
Maude
I like the Twitter avatar. It looks good.
Virginia Highlander
John, depression sucks and you’re awesome. Your site is one of my favorite places and you are one of my favorite bloggers.
And did I mention that depression sucks? You aren’t alone, dude; it just feels that way.
aimai
John,
You have a fantastic social life with tons of friends and you host and attend many parties–not many of us can say that. You run a highly successful blog which gives people a “watering hole” to visit all day (and all night) long. That’s a pretty big deal, too. But I don’t want to minimize your feelings. I definitely have them too and you are only six years younger than me, I think. It shows you are stuck in a rut. You’ve been doing something comfortable but it isn’t challenging you anymore. Only when you are doing something knew can you get in the flow and start to forget that time is passing and we are all only getting older and feebler. I’m thinking about going back to school and getting a degree in social work or in counseling. My life is great and I have wonderful children and etc…but everybody needs to be in the world doing meaningful work or the pleasant parts of life blur together and lose their sweet bite.
aimai
WJS
Dude, you’re alright. When we hit our forties, it’s all about activity and metabolism. Drink water with ice in it. Walk everywhere. Get away from the computer. Throw things as often as you can. It’s all good.
Steeplejack
@Cole:
Those thoughts are natural—and probably almost universal—at the turn of the year. A time of endings, beginnings, resolutions, philosophical stock-taking, etc. And sometimes it’s easy to focus on what you haven’t done or don’t have rather than on what you have accomplished and do have.
As others have said above, you do have an incredible accomplishment in the creation and maintenance of this blog, which is the Web home for a really amazing group of front-pagers and commenters. Thank you for creating this space for us. And please give yourself full credit for that. It is no small achievement.
JohnK
I hope your health is not preventing you from becoming more active but even so, you won’t be the first to come back. Search Net flicks for documentaries on health and food and watch them while you are on your trainer or treadmill. A couple of things that might help you feel better. Take time to feel good about small accomplishments. Frequent small victories can be a positive feed back loop and motivate you to accomplish more. It is a slow process, not days or weeks, but months and years. Be prepared for the long haul. Get a good physical to make sure you can take on more activity including an echo sound on the arteries in you neck to check your risk of stroke. Obesity is a serious cultural epidemic. You are probably old enough to know some people whose lives have been devastated by stroke or heart attack. Or people who have to take many hundreds of dollars per month in drugs to manage their weight related health problems. It can happen to you. Then what? When you are chronically beyond repair, you are going to say, but it all tasted so good? Seriously? You can get a grip, it is your choice, only you can make it. Hire a personal trainer, get a free account on livestrong.com and the ipad app and straighten out your nutrition and your activities. Find active things you like to do and do them with friends. Walking the dogs is fine but it burns only a small number of calories. The problem with a little exercise is people feel entitled to extra treats for being so good and it leads to no weight loss or even worse, to weight gain. You can do it, many thousand of people are working on the same problem every single day.
Nice poster by the way. Is that really the way you want to be seen and remembered?
John Weiss
Hey John,
If you really get down, you could spend a week or so here in Paradise. We’ve cats but we could work it out. You could stay in the guest room, or we could rent a yurt.
Waves a-crashing and lovely folk all over the place. Quiet place with just the amount of wingnuts to keep it stimulating. And lots of hiking.
mai naem
John, I get the depression part, esp. recently. I’ve been in a rut for,hell, like three years. But, I deal with people who are literally living paycheck to paycheck, if that. I work with a woman who married an abusive loser to get her green card and she can’t dump him for another year. I knmow things could be a lot worse. You at least can do something about your problems. You at least have control of your situation.
Oh, also too, you have managed to create an awesome blog which is quite an achievement. Just look at your blogroll or Atrios’ blogroll and click on them, a good third of them aren’t even around or hardly posting. I’ll be on some major blog/magazine blog/ commment thread and they’ll link to BJ.
RossInDetroit
Hey, look on the bright side. 6 1-hour episodes on disk takes only 4.5 hours to watch. DVD just gave you the priceless gift of 90 minutes more sleep.
Everyone has things in their life that they can’t deal rationally with. One of yours seems to be seeing the negatives in yourself and feeling like kind of a loser.
You’re a winner, John. In a big way. You contribute to the lives of thousands of people every day. And you worked hard to achieve that. So please give yourself the credit that we all give you.
WyldPirate
Lots of good comments on the weight/fitness front, but I would like to add two things.
First, you DO NOT want to get Type II diabetes if you can possibly avoid it as it SUCKS OUT LOUD. I ballooned up to 280 in when I hit 40 due to eating and drinking ridiculous amounts of garbage, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and sitting on my ass. The result was a toasted pancreas, a triple bypass at 50. Now I’ll have to inject insulin 5 times a day and check my blood glucose level 3 times at a minimum for THE REST OF MY LIFE. T
If you decide to make a change, to be successful in the long term will require a total lifestyle change with respect to your attitude towards food and exercise. This doesn’t mean you have to give up the things you love to eat or sit on your ass on occasion, but you have to treat as if it is a vacation or reward.
Some folks are blessed with good genetics and can be obese for decades and not develop diabetes. I had the “it can’t happen to me” attitude and that fork might as well been a loaded gun I was playing Russian Roulette with.
Josie
John – I have a few ideas to give you after a long struggle with weight. I ate whatever I wanted for forty years and had no problem. The year I turned forty I quit smoking and had a baby (my third), and my body went into terminal weight shock. Three things that have finally worked for me are Vitamin D, low carb eating and my elliptical. The Vitamin D helps with lack of energy and depression, the elliptical allows me to exercise vigorously without hurting my old bones and ligaments, and the low carb eating works much better than counting calories. Check out a site by Mark Sisson called Mark’s Daily Apple. He has ideas for eating and exercising that are helpful and sensible. If you don’t want a trainer, find a friend to help monitor your progress. It helps to have someone to check in with and discuss what you are doing. You are obviously a very smart and determined person. You can do whatever you set your mind to.
Joel Pear
John, I am 60 years old and a few years ago I found P90X. I had never before seriously worked out, but after 1 90-day round, I lost 25 lbs. and found myself in the best shape of my life. I have continued on the program and feel great. It only takes an hour to an hour and a half a day, and I guarantee that if you follow the instructions you will feel so much better about yourself.
amy c
I’ve been sad quite a bit lately, too. Must be the time of year. Not enough Vitamin D.
John Cole, I have a husband and two kids and I’m all sorts of fortunate. But when one of my kids was in the hospital 2 years ago, I had no friends nearby to lean on. And I really needed them.
I spent a lot of sleepless hospital hours wondering how I got here – everyone likes me and thinks I am nice, but there I was, bereft of real friendship in a crisis. (I do have one or two close friends from way back, but they live far away).
That won’t be you, John Cole. Someone who gathers so often with friends and feeds them will not find himself alone when he needs people.
As for weight, I know. I’ve lost and gained the same 50 pounds so many times. Telling someone who is wired for overeating to just adhere to moderation is like telling the alcoholic to have just one glass of wine. I’ve often said that if I could get all my nutrients in pill form and never eat again, I would, just to break the hold food has on me.
Anyway, when I have been successful with weight loss, it’s been thanks to Weight Watchers online program. Their marketing is annoying but it is a good program that doesn’t starve you. You can’t do it unless you’re truly ready, but when you are…
Also. There’s a video going around (one of those nifty draw-on-a-whiteboard ones) that explains most negative health impacts of being overweight can be canceled out with 30 minutes of good brisk walking per day. That’s it. If you are depressed about how your pants fit, you can’t walk your way out of that problem – diet needs to change, too. But just making sure you get that 30 minutes every day can improve the way you feel and the way you feel about yourself.
Carnacki
Advice I often have to tell myself: Stop trolling your own life.
p.a.
my concern is that when someone posts ‘I’m a little depressed…’ they could be making light of a much more serious ‘I’m very depressed’ situation. Having been around here for some time I know John is smart enough to already know 90% of the advice he’s being given. Knowing is different from doing. Talk to someone. Be wary of medications, but talking can help, whether to a professional or a close friend. You should already know this and I know you already know my next advice: get off the couch and go volunteer somewhere. Animal shelter perhaps? Seems you already have some experience in the area.
Ironic thing is that I’m a single overweight male living alone in my own place, and I’ve been using your life as a template for what I’m trying to get to! ;- ) Life is all about perspective.
p.s. I think that caricature is awesome. Makes you look like some sort of superhero; AntiSullyMan or something.
ErinSiobhan
Winter. Blech. The time of year when we focus on everything we do wrong instead of what we do right. Sometimes I wish I could hibernate right after Christmas and sleep until the middle of March. I especially hate the end of January because I know that February is coming.
Cat Lady
You built a great community here you should be proud of. I totally get the depression thing – it’s the weight. Ditto on recommending Vitamin D. It’s the best thing you can do – take at least 4000 IUs a day, and drink more water – try Gerolsteiner. It’s loaded with minerals and has a great alkaline kick to it that makes it feel good in your belly. Your system is probably too acid, which makes you tired and is bad on the joints. Cut out as much white food and sugar as possible, because refined sugar is poison. Just don’t bring it into your house. I’m a sugar craver and I just can’t have it in the house – I’ll have a handful of raisins or grapes instead and get the fiber. My next mission is to reduce salt intake, and that’s going to be tough. Get more sleep also – it sounds like you’re melatonin deficient. Your pineal gland is your friend, and you need to be aware of it.
gloryb
Gee, John, I’ only posted here a few times, but if it helps, this is without a doubt my favorite site. I’m really happy to have a Steeler/footbal friendly (I’m in pgh, represent!), smart leftish place to go.
I’m actually envious of your social life, you always seem to have lots of good friends to hang out with. I know that doesn’t help depression, but eh, what the hell.
And I agre with everyone who tells you to walk the dogs more. I walk mine twice a day, and while it starts out feeling like a bother, I’m always glad I did it.
Violet
John, you consistently post saying you can’t sleep, are having sleep trouble, etc. Lack of sleep can be a contributing factor to depression, weight issues, and so forth. I don’t know if you have heard of “sleep hygiene” as a concept, but here’s some info. You might give it a try for a week or two and see if it makes any difference to how you’re sleeping and feeling. I know from experience that it can make a difference.
You’re a great guy, John. I appreciate the effort you put into building Balloon-Juice and this great community of people.
master c
Hi John, Im in my forties and I second those who say your metabolism will grind to a halt at this point, IMO change in diet is what’s needed. Turn your back on that gross fake food. I believe that food is just too easy and cheap. I started with one change….cutting out processed sugar and it has made all the difference. Sugar is the buddy of white flour and cutting down on both will really help!
wasabi gasp
That was my mom. Sorry.
Princess
Hugs, John. As I said, I think you’re totally cute. If you want to date, try OKCupid. Too bad you’re not closer to me.
Jerzy Russian
If you think you are depressed now, just wait until you get my bill for all of those lost hours I spend reading this blog instead of working.
Seriously though, as someone who felt as you do (as in I am 40 now, and how did I get so fat?) I can say that some simple exercise is making all of the difference. It isn’t always easy, but it needs to be done.
Sandy
John – longtime lurker here who also feels compelled to comment. You have created a wonderful blog here. It is one of my favorite blogs – it has it all – great community, awesome host, animal kindness, smart liberal talk, etc.
You built this John – people you don’t know – like me – think this place is awesome. As a lifelong Steeler fan who no longer lives in the Pittsburgh area, your mutual love of all things Steelers is a wonderful bonus! Liberal Steeler lovers = blog nirvana indeed!
Echoing others – Weight is so difficult to deal with – I am in my late ’40’s and I know this firsthand. I have done Weight Watchers and find it works for me. I have lost 55 pounds since last May. I still have more weight to lose, but I am treating this as a lifetime thing. If it comes off slow, so be it. I feel better and in the best shape I have been in a decade.
Be patient – try to move a little more and eat a little less. Gradual weight loss seems to be healthier. Be kind to yourself – you are worth it, from what I’ve seen on this blog. This longtime lurker thanks you John!
xian
consider a sleep study too. you may have apnea? I lost 50 lbs and most of my apnea went away beyond a mild case due to deviated nasal septum etc.
when my apnea was bad and untreated i felt depressed a lot and got onto a weight gain spiral. just some food for thought.
Protothad
John, don’t be too hard on yourself. You have a wonderful dry wit and an engaging writing style. It’s what keeps your readers coming back (that, and pictures of Tunch), and ultimately I think those are very desirable (and not so easily cultivated) qualities. I think you’ve got a serious leg up on all us pathetic losers that only read your blog and not write on it. :)
ellie
You have gotten some great advice about diet and exercise, but I would like to add one more resource into the mix. Check out Tom Venuto’s Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle. He runs these contests around the holidays and during the summer for people on his plan and the results are incredible. It is a weight lifter’s eating plan. Great abs are made in the kitchen.
Constance
@Josie:
What Josie said at #42.
I developed Type II diabetes after years of eating any and every damned thing I wanted (very heavy on the good bread and every kind of sugary thing).
Lost 20 pounds with WW, then developed a severe candida episode. I’d had eight hour episodes a couple of times a year for probably 20 years but the last one lasted 4 days and I couldn’t take the awful pain any more. (I have a very high pain threshold.) Called my nurse practitioner friend who diagnosed me immediately, gave me a prescription for a hideous but necessary drug and put me on a NO CARB diet for 21 days.
I thought I was going to starve. What the hell can I eat?
A few months later I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes.
Started doing some research and discovered that it’s possible grains were causing many of my problems–osteoporosis, diabetes, weight gain, candida episodes (haven’t had one since the four day affair), depression. I went off all grains for a year and began to reverse my osteoporosis and found I could control my diabetes without drugs or insulin. I do have to test every morning and two hours after every meal but in the process I learned what foods raise the blood sugar out of acceptable range and what puts the weight back on.
I discovered Mark Sisson, Loren Courdain, Robb Wolf and Art De Vany, all of whom have written books and have web sites. The best part for me is the exercise recommended. I’ve spent my entire 72 years turning the pages of books for exercise. A complete lump. Thank gawd for good genes or I would have died by now. Going to a gym or doing a couple of hours on the machines every day is like–throw up now.
Mark Sisson explains it beautifully and even I can do it!
Back to lurking and good luck with whatever you do. You have a great blog–can’t go a day without it.
Froley
After years of trying to lose weight, I finally lost a significant amount last year by following a calorie counting program (there are lots of them, but I used Lose It). You sign up, get the app for your smartphone, etc. and away you go. You enter in calories in and calories out. It worked for me because it was fairly easy – there’s no magic or BS to it, no special foods, no crazy exercise programs, and no starvation. All you do is stay at or below your calories for the day. It became a sort of a game – if I drink water instead of milk right now I’ll have calories left over for a beer tonight, if I do 20 minutes on the treadmill I can have that third piece of pizza at dinner. I’m not saying it doesn’t take dedication – it can get tedious entering in everything you consume. But compared to every other weight loss program I tried it was easy.
Elie
Buck up John… we all go through self doubt and criticism.
I have been sluggish lately myself. It didnt help looking in the mirror at my pilates class — Lord, whose fat ass is that ? Ooops! Moi?
I have to get off my own back and to a positive place to make the life changes (eating) that I have to make… 2011 was such a hard year, and I whined and over pampered myself — giving in fully to my love of food… I am searching for the energy to renew my committment to fitness — NOT perfection — but just feeling better with more energy..
You should be so proud of this site… I spend 90% of my time here and besides WA monthly, its the only place I comment. I so appreciate the content of the site and the types of smart crazy people it attracts. Thank you —
Constance
Damn. I forgot the best book–Why We Get Fat: and What to Do About It, by Gary Taubes. He also wrote an article in the NYT Magazine sometime in the last year which is scary.
Elie
@Froley:
does the program set up a customized calorie target for you? What goes into setting that? I need to try a new approach — tried South Beach successfully but the first four weeks about killed me. I need to eat everything but with making tradeoffs — restricting one food group (carbs) just is not what you can stick with over time…
KXB
I watched West Wing for about 2 seasons, then stopped. Too many problems seemed to be resolved by just talking in hallways or moving speeches. AS far as my social life – non-existent. I will be 39 in March. My weight is good – exercise regularly. But not much money. There are people in way worse conditions than me, so I try and keep my self-pity in check. But, it’s no fun to get out of bed when the only thing you have to get your self going is “Well, at least I am not in so-and-so’s situation.”
EZSmirkzz
John, you’re one of the most insightful political commentators in America, probably due as much to faults and flaws that you deal with, as well your strengths and assets. Acknowledge them both, it is what makes us human beings, but I wouldn’t dwell on either one of those things. You are what you are and who you are just as nature and nurture have made you to be. Change what you can change, and accept what you can’t.
You know we put this shit out on the internet and 3 billion people can take pot shots at us, and they do. That was the hardest part of getting comfortable with all of this crap. The reason people pay attention is because we have something to say, in a way they wished they could say it, or in way that they can relate to. It is a gift. You give people that gift, and it is a gift because you pay for it without any expectation of a like return. Which is a good thing because it ain’t coming.
On the other hand, when all is said and done, the world will know that we were here, and did not go gentle into that good night, that we lit many other torches with our own in the darkness of our own times, and no one will care if you or anyone else thought that you or Michael Moore were fat.
SIA
I wish we could have a weekly post on weight, exercise, and health. I do my best but sometimes it feels like middle age is swallowing me whole.
Froley
@Elie:
You just set how much weight you want to lose and the time in which you want to lose it (i.e., how much weight per week). The program then gives you a daily calorie budget. As you get closer to your goal you have fewer calories to work with, so the more realistic the goal the easier it is. That is, you want to shoot for something doable, like a pound a week. You can always change the goals if it becomes too hard or too easy. Like I said, the daily logging is a little annoying, but it gets a little less painful as you go on because the app stores your foods and exercises so you can reuse that info later (you can also select foods/exercises other people have entered if you want).
The Tim Channel
At 54, I think I’m officially too old for mid life crises, but it is rather dark and depressing in northern Europe this time of year. The weight issue is something different for me. I think weight is genetic (mostly). I have exactly the opposite weight problem as most people. I’m five foot ten and 140 pounds since about 9th grade. Got close to 150 working on the dock at UPS for a year during college. I can’t gain weight no matter how much I eat. So I have always pictured my body image as svelte when I’m pretty sure the majority views me as gaunt. You have the gift of gab and a plethora of adoring female groupies who would gladly vie for your affections over those of the canines. The canines will still be there when the groupies either grind you down or tire of your company. That’s the great thing about canines. The only groupie I have is my wife. YMMV.
Enjoy.
Sammi
Download a bunch of 1-hour podcasts that are really interesting. This American Life or Radio Lab are great. Put one on and start walking and don’t go home until it’s finished. If the weather is bad, go to the local mall. You’ll find that the time goes by quickly because you’re so engrossed in the podcast. It doesn’t even have to be a brisk walk. Buy a pedometer and marvel at the number of steps you’ve taken.
Betsy
Coming from a stranger on the internet (about as objective as one can get, when you come down to it): You do not deserve to feel bad about yourself. You’re awesome, smart, funny, and kind, and your writing has made me laugh more than probably any other site on the ‘tubes.
I hope you feel better soon. If you don’t, get treatment. Depression is a sneaky motherfucker, and I’ve had more experience with it in my own family and life than I would have preferred.
John Lewis
It’s funny, that whole depression thing. There is no universal magical elixer. No particular word if wisdom that shakes us from the grapple. I can only tell you this: you are loved beyond all measure. That is a beam of truth that at some moment or another will render the shadows a lIghter gray. How about announcing a Balloon Juice Meet-Up?
4jkb4ia
@RossInDetroit:
Cosign, and heartily.
(I am compelled to write something even if John will just write it off as coming from a crazy person.)
One of the things I like about John is that he is allergic to making himself into a big shot or a pundit. Even when he had his 10th anniversary post–and it was endearing that it was a week late–and it would be perfectly understandable to blow his own horn, he refused to do it. Even when John could have eaten out on being a professor like Team LG&M and done something very similar to what they do, he refused to do that. I know I did not hear that John was a professor for the first time from his own mouth. Because John is willing to go out on that wire every day and be human and wrong, not only is this a very brave thing but he was able to cross the canyon of change that separates the John Cole of 2002 from the John Cole of 2012. Even John had to admit that he was better for it. But there is a difference between humility and thinking you are a loser. (Discussion indebted to Alan Morinis) Humility is a good trait–a fabulous trait–but Moses, the most humble person who ever lived, could not have thought he was a loser. In fact the rabbis upbraid him for exhausting every excuse not to go to Pharaoh because he didn’t believe in himself. Moses’s humility consisted of knowing who he was speaking for at any given time and what was most important–keeping the relationship going between the people and G-d even when either (cough) became stiffnecked and wanted to walk away. Atheists can also have a sense of mission in life/what is most important/the thing only they can do.
In case it needed spelling out–John, you are not the demonic thing that ate my life for the last year. You are far better than that.
Gretchen
Balloon Juice is a highlight of my day – you can be proud of your accomplishment here, John. These short gloomy days are hard on the spirits, but spring will be here soon.
Re: weight. I got an elliptical trainer in the Sear’s New Years resolution sale. I’m finding it painless or even enjoyable to do a half-hour with a good book. West Wing dvds would work too. And dog-walking is self-reinforcing – they get so excited when they see the walking shoes, it’s hard to change your mind and face their disappointed looks.
One of my new favorite blogs is Poor Girl Eats Well. She’s a broke single woman in California who loves good food. I think she’s been working at losing weight. Most of her recipes a lowish in calories, healthy and look really yummy. Most are also quick, simple and suitable for one person. Her stuff is going to be a centerpiece of my new effort to lose weight.
Short Bus Bully
Johen,
This blog is my homepage. I read every thread every day even if I’m busy as fucking fuck and have to page through all of it at the end of a nutbag kind of day. This place means a lot to me, the people here mean a lot to me, YOU and your pets mean a lot to me.
You should know this.
/not embarrassed to admit it
SIA
Yep.
Short Bus Bully
Also too, I should clarify that I was referring to JOHN COLE in post #72, not your apparently Swedish cousin.
/facepalm
gelfling545
Next doctor visit ask him/her to order tests for vitamin d & b12 levels. Even people who eat a fine diet can be deficient in these for various reasons & they can make a difference outlook wise as well as body wise.
Lynn Dee
@Comrade Nimrod Humperdink: I have to second what Comrade NH said. You’re obviously someone special the way folks drop in to enjoy your company.
Some months ago you mentioned a neighbor who’d written a book. I found his web site, liked the sound of his book, and contacted him to say so and that I’d heard about it on balloon juice. He said you were a GREAT neighbor.
Also too, you’re fucking hilarious on twitter. :)
4jkb4ia
And because I missed that 10th anniversary post, here you go, John. Elaine Stritch, “I’m Still Here,” at the White House. Great performance and does not sing, “First you’re another sloe-eyed vamp”.
gogol's wife
Thread seems to be dead, but I have to say you are one of the best writers I know, and I’m a professor of Russian literature. This blog is a must-read for me every day. I have learned a ton from it about all sorts of things from politics to what dry food to feed my cats so that they lose weight (Masha lost a pound and a half!). I hope you feel better. Plus you are cute, as all the ladies and gay men told you the other night/day.
marina
I second whichever poster mentioned sleep apnea–definitely worth finding out whether you have it/ruling it out. Also, for what it’s worth, join a gym or a YMCA–ellipticals are wonderful things, you can’t hurt yourself on them, and you can read or watch t.v. at the same time. Also, using the weight machines makes you feel good afterwards. You sleep better. And then you feel better. It’s a non-vicious cycle.Gyms and the Y can be pricey to join, but if you ask, in my experience, they will waive start-up fees, and even “work with you” on monthly fees.
Yet again for what it’s worth, you are adored by thousands…
vheidi
@4jkb4ia: John’s a professor? Cool.
I turned 50 last fall, and my weight is spiraling up up up. After reading this post I will agree with you all- this is pretty much the only blog I read anymore, John you are the best, Seasonal affective disorder sucks, and I am going for a walk.
Donald
I didn’t read much of the thread, so this may be redundant. Anyway, on the weight thing, exercise might not do it alone (as someone said in the part of the thread I did read), but you should do it anyway, because it’s very good for your health even if you don’t lose a pound. Jogging is probably a bad idea for heavy people (bad on the joints), but walking is great and so is weightlifting.
I usually liked the West Wing even though I’m a far lefty, but found that when they did foreign policy as opposed to domestic policy it was too rah-rah and Islamophobic. Israel could do no wrong (except in the story arc where they reimagined Camp David in 2000 and there was some acknowledgment that the Palestinians had some legitimate grievances.)
I think the show was reflecting its era, which overlapped the Bush years, and the writers wanted to show that liberal Democrats could be just as much a bunch of Muslim-bombing terrorist killing badasses as any Republican. I particularly remember loathing a scene where Toby Ziegler (sp?) exploded into a rant about how backwards and primitive the Arab world was and why should we be sensitive about saying it, with the implication being that we needed to go in there and clean the place up. Definitely a reflection of the times.
But obviously I was drawn to the show or I wouldn’t have watched it so much and remembered all this. It was well-written and when they avoided foreign policy and stuck to domestic policy and politics it was fascinating in mostly good ways.
Steeplejack
@wasabi gasp:
LOL. That strikes close to home here, too.
Cat Hair Everywhere
John- I am a little late to the party, as usual (damn Left Coast time zone!) but I want to echo what so many have said.
First, this is my favorite blog on the Tubes. (Charles Pierce and Regretsy are next on the list) Like others, I read every post. I don’t always feel like I fit in in real life, but the writers and commentariat here so often reflects my interests, (politics, gardening, rescue pets, cooking) it reassures me that there are others like me in the world, despite what I see in my very religious, red-wing city where people think I am so kind of lefty (which I guess I am) for composting, having a veggie garden and canning jam.
Second, you may feel lonely about the love thing, but you seem to have a big, wonderful circle of friends and family. Around my house, we regularly bemoan the fact that we don’t have any couple friends, or a group of friends to hang with. We’ve tried to find people with common interests, but have struggled due to the demographic around here. You are so fortunate to have so many people in your life who care about you and want to spend time with you.
Third, the weight thing. I haven’t seen you in person, and don’t consider webcam photos to be remotely accurate, but if you are feeling badly about your weight, I would like to suggest the SparkPeople app. Its basically a food diary, and I log every bite I eat, plus the exercise I do to keep my love of treats and good food in check. I am not willing to starve myself, but many times, having to record each cookie on SparkPeople (I record things before I eat them) has kept my serving sizes to appropriate amounts. I am gluten-intolerant, and find it easier to plan ahead for meals, so I record most of my day’s food first thing in the morning, leaving a couple hundred calories for snacks.
I have to echo the others, though. Exercise, especially running, makes me a much happier person. I have a group I run with, and my city has a nice, long bike path along our river. I live in a dry, dusty, brown place, and it is still so nice to run on our bike and equestrian paths. You live in such a beautiful part of the country- perhaps you could arrange to meet one of your friends to walk dogs? When I first got into exercising, after being a couch potato for 27 years, the two things that kept me consistent were the fact that we ran first thing in the morning before I could get distracted/unmotivated by anything, and I was meeting a friend to run, and if I didn’t show up, she couldn’t go. Now we run at 5AM. I get dressed in the dark and get out the door before I can wake up enough to realize how cold it is out, and off we go. You have reason to be concerned about ice, but I know lots of people who run safely on ice with YakTraks. Well worth the $20. I do work out a little later a couple of days when I go to the gym, but the gym time is written into my calendar and I schedule around it. The mentality of “I’ll try to fit exercise in” leads to finding reasons not to go. I hope this is helpful- I certainly know how hard it is to get into a fitness routine, but it is an engrained part of my life now. It’s part of my social life, too, which also helps motivate me.
Kola Noscopy
Good Lord, Cole, there are any number of straight women commenters here who would gladly ravish or be ravished by you. Just request current naked pics and take your pick.
They’ll drive any number of miles too. Even better: Afterwards you’ll have stalkers.
Dogs are best for socializing.
4jkb4ia
@vheidi:
He was when he lived in Morgantown. What he does now he refused to say.
Damien
John, I am a bit younger than you, but I had exactly that same moment about 18 months ago. I had barely any social life, I was depressed and I weighed 365 pounds. Even at 6′ 5″, that means fat.
I was, and am, terrified that I will go to my grave a fat, friendless old man. So I took two actions that helped immensely:
1. I started taking classes in things that interested me. Boom, I’ve got a group of friends that I can call up to hang out pretty much whenever.
2. Three words: cyclic ketogenic diet. I started combining that with weight lifting twice a week (to failure, but still), and I’ve put on about 30 pounds of muscle and dropped 110 pounds of fat. Yeah, 110. I’m down to 265 and still dropping. If you can go hardcore, or “bring it” as P90X puts it, you can get into whatever shape you want.
Believe it, because I used to huff and puff to get out of bed in the morning and now I’m aiming for a six-pack in the next year.
Good luck, John!
LongHairedWeirdo
If I’m gaining weight, it’s because I’m getting too many sugars and starches – and for me, (relatively-)low carb is the way to go. This also protects against diabetes.
And, more importantly, it also helps with my tiredness, alertness, and mood. The thing is, getting too much sugar and starch is a slow process that builds up over weeks, so I never eat a lot of bread, and say “oh, wow, that was a stupid idea.” But after a month or two of uncontrolled sugar, starch, and other carbs, I’m down, and don’t notice that I’m sliding down slowly.
Susan in SC
Every January for 20 years, my husband does not drink any alcohol, doesn’t eat much meat or sugar, breads, junk food.. He is a tall guy, but this past month he has lost 15-20 lbs and feels better than he has in, well, a year. Hmmm….I went along with his deal this year, and lost 10 lbs. We have decided to continue with this after the month is over, with occasional indulging at social events, because we both feel good, have more energy, and want to lose some more poundage.
A couple of things that made this possible for me in the evenings is keeping a box of Le Croix soda water in the fridge, and drinking a ton of it with a shot of cranberry juice; quite festive! And herbal hot tea….Instead of reaching for food in the fridge, I make some tea.
You might try yerba mate, the tea that is a natural appetite suppressant. My son lived in Argentina one semester in college, and swears by it. In South America, they drink it communally before going out, before dinner, and it gives them energy and they don’t feel hungry. It is an acquired taste….
I thought I had conquered my 15-20 unnecessary pounds for good until my metabolism slowed way the heck down in the last few years. I stop wanting to get my picture taken and I avoid certain activities that used to be fun when my weight creeps up. It shouldn’t be such a determining factor in my self-image, but it is.
JaneE
John, another long time lurker here. I would like to put in my 2 cents as well. I am 65, am obese and have been for most of my life. Since I was about 6 or 7. I have type II diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, and failing kidneys.
About a year and a half ago, I was in bad enough shape that I couldn’t do hardly anything any more. I asked my doctor for a referral for bypass surgery, because I thought that was my only chance for losing weight. I got it, but my HMO requires you to complete a 12 week course of education before surgery. And they also want you to lose at least 10% of your body weight before surgery. I was really afraid I couldn’t lose even the 30 pounds they wanted me to, even though they said it would be close to a year before they would do the surgery.
First, I cut out snacking. No more Costco boxes of Cheezits. No more chips and dip. I ate everything I had and then just didn’t buy any more. By the time I actually started my classes, I had lost over 20 pounds.
The classes covered what the surgery involved, and what that meant for what you could eat post-surgery. Not just for a few months till you healed, but for the rest of your life. (you can no longer absorb enough food and vitimins with the stomach you have left, and the openings are so small that some foods just can’t be broken down enough to go through) They covered nutrition, and exercise because you need to do that too, and you will be eating smaller than diet meals for the rest of your life. Unless you want to get fat again, which about half of surgery patients do. There were also classes on the psychology of overeating. Some things were applicable to me, most weren’t.
I don’t know why they got to me. Maybe it was seeing how happy my nephrologist got when I lost just 5 pounds. Maybe it was a dozen people giving me ideas on how to make small changes, and saying that you don’t have to start on a 1200 calorie diet, here are diet plans that go from 1200 to 2500 calories, start where you can and work your way down. Maybe it was because they wanted you to drink protein shakes, and I found some I really liked.
Anyway, by the end of classes, I had lost more than the 30 pounds minimum. I found some exercise that I could do, and didn’t cost much. They are really big on walking, but that is the most painful thing I can do, between gout, arthritis and plantar fascitis. I found that I can use resistance bands, which are cheap, can be used at home, and will actually build muscle if you use enough resistance.
Right now, I have lost about 90 pounds. I still have 60 to go. I finally got to see the surgeon last Friday. But I don’t have to take diabetes medication any more, and my glucose levels are good. I have eliminated one of my blood pressure medications and my blood pressure is better than it has been in two decades. Best of all, my kidney function is nearly normal for a woman my age. A year and a half ago, it was an even money bet that I would be on dialysis by now. I no longer plan to have the surgery. It is still available, but I don’t think I need it.
The prescriptions I don’t have to take save me $150 a month. Best of all, I can actually go shopping and take my time, because it isn’t really painful anymore. If I lose another 15 pounds, I won’t be obese for the first time in five decades. If I reach my goal, I will be normal sized for the first time since I was 4.
All of which is a long winded way of saying, start small, and keep building on it. Dog walking is good exercise. You need to keep at it, and if you slack off for a day or two, that’s ok, so long as you go back to it again. I am supposed to do 30 minutes of exercise (preferably an hour) every day, but so far 5 days a week is all I can manage. It may take an extra 6 months to reach my goal, but I think it is doable.
It takes 3 to 6 months to retrain your taste buds to do without all foods you shouldn’t eat, but it does happen. I still have lapses on occasion, but if I eat a whole head of raw cauliflower it isn’t nearly so bad as a whole bag of Cheetos.
Support is crucial. I am lucky that my husband goes out of his way to help me. And everyone I know wants be to be successful. But the only person who can change me is me, and I have to want and be willing to do it, all by my self. You may find that some people don’t want you to change, but that’s too bad. I know that I will be healthier, and more able to enjoy life, and if they don’t want that for me, then they really aren’t that good a friend. I already look and feel a lot better. I can actually climb stairs using both legs now – which wasn’t the case before. Just don’t let yourself get to the point that you can to be overjoyed by being able to do things most people find trivial.
And by the way, to my eye, you are not even fat. Yet.
kc
We love you, man!
Fordpowers
Keep perspective because if u don’t like u no one else will either
Carrie
Well I love you, doesn’t that matter?
Oh and for the love of all that is holy, please invest in a sun lamp. Bright light therapy will do you a world of good.
harlana
remember how many people love and admire you and look forward to your golden nuggets of wisdom each day
*getting older sucks, i can’t offer any platitudes about that one, but trust me, it’s a lot harder if you’re a single woman, if that makes you feel any better, which i’m pretty sure it won’t ;p
Paul in KY
@Joel Pear: Be careful. P90X is designed for younger people. Great job losing the weight, though.
Paul in KY
John, if you could rustle up a TV gig (which I think you could do, given some of the other political bloggers I’ve seen), then that would certainly motivate you to lose the weight as the TV mantra is ‘be as skinny as you can get & then get 5 pounds skinnier’.
As another poster mentioned, walk the Hell out of those dogs!
tdm
Going to repeat a lot of what everybody else said. First off, you are pretty cool and I love reading this blog.
Next, if you’re tired of it, just f***ing change it. I made up my mind last march that i was tired of being the fat chick. I started watching my portion sizes and moving more. Bike rides, walks… the best exercise is the kind you’ll do. For me, in the winter in boston, that’s those ridiculous but REALLY strenuous Jillian Michaels DVDs in my living room. I’m too lazy to cart my ass the the gym (and I work from home) so this works for me. I stopped eating 10 handfulls of M&Ms every afternoon and ice cream every night. I’ve lost 37 pounds and am in the best shape of my adult life and it feels frickin’ fabulous.
So if you’re tired of it, my dear, change it. It starts out hard but in hindsight i have no idea what took me so long. it ain’t rocket science.
(also, shameless plug, I’d highly recommend the website/app MyFitnessPal for calorie logging. Logging has really helped me see what’s going in and what I am burning which really opened my eyes. I think, like a recovering alcoholic or something, i should probably do this for the rest of my life… or at least until it’s second nature…)
Jamie
I feel like I should curse you out, just get some fire in your belly, but that’s not going to work.
1) you are a fucking awesome person, who has built a fucking awesome community here. No, I don’t drop by and drink with you, which would be hard, given that I’m on the other side of the country, But you have a vastly larger peer group than many.
2) body image is really hard for men, especially men in our age group. Hit 40, you really have to start doing something about it. It sucks, especially when you’re single, something I’m painfully aware of. Added to that, men aren’t supposed to talk about it.
3) you have pets that clearly love you. Don’t discount that. I made a change in October, and miss my kittens I immensely. There is nothing like waking up to kitten-ass in the morning to make you feel like the master of your domain, right?