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You are here: Home / Politics / Crazification Factor / Send the Panty Sniffing Squad to Inspect Mitt’s Magic Underoos

Send the Panty Sniffing Squad to Inspect Mitt’s Magic Underoos

by $8 blue check mistermix|  January 30, 20124:02 pm| 109 Comments

This post is in: Crazification Factor

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Now that Michelle Obama’s underwear is up for discussion at all the usual wingnut sites, can we start talking about Mitt Romney’s? After all, for a Mormon, it’s “the most sacred of all things in the world, next to their own virtue, next to their own purity of life”, so I’d think that it’s something that Romney should discuss. Or are there two sets of standards, one for Mrs. Obama, and one for Mitt Romney?

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109Comments

  1. 1.

    Roger Moore

    January 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    After the whole David Vitter affair, I think all sane people don’t want to get close enough to any Republican’s underwear to do any panty sniffing.

  2. 2.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    It does bring up the possibilities for discussions of “underwear you could land a 737 on.”

    I’m thinking Romney would rather this thing hadn’t been broached, while Newtie’s probably dancing his happy dance.

  3. 3.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    January 30, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Of course there are two sets of standards. But you knew that.

  4. 4.

    Culture of Truth

    January 30, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Or are there two sets of standards, one for Mrs. Obama, and one for Mitt Romney?

    Yes because Mitt Romney will never live in the White House.

  5. 5.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    January 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    one’s drawers open, another’s drawers closed?

  6. 6.

    Cap'n Swag

    January 30, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Well you know wha I always say about our responsibility to speculate. I’m guessing Romney wears tighty whities.

    Gingrich probably goes commando.

    Now pardon while I throw up my lunch…

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    January 30, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Am I the only one on earth that is totally disinterested in the underpants of my leaders and their spouses? Maybe I’m just crazy, but I feel like having this conversation about anyone else would mark you as a giant pervert. :-p

    I guess when you are sitting at the cool kids table, you can do what you want.

  8. 8.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    January 30, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    If only those seagulls hadn’t eaten all the locusts …

  9. 9.

    lamh35

    January 30, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Michelle Obama will be on Jay Leno tomorrow night. I suspect that Leno has more class than to bring up this lingerie story, but if he doesn’t I will personally like to damn him to hell.

    I’ll wait til tomorrow though to find out.

    this whole story is ridiculous. This is of course all Michelle’s fault for being so darn cute and sexy that writing about her buying lingerie doesn’t immediately make people want to vomit…STOP BEING SO SEXY MICHELLE!!!!

    Bastards.

  10. 10.

    lamh35

    January 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    @Zifnab: oh they are giant perverts. the WH has already said this story is 100% NOT TRUE, but even so, Allah forbid a woman buys some sexy lingerie to wear for her husband or SO…how dare she “BRING THE SEXY BACK” to the White House.

  11. 11.

    General Stuck

    January 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    And it’s even more bad news for Mitt as Axelrod coyly plays the dog abuser card.

    Obama campaign senior strategist David Axelrod tweeted a picture of President Obama and his dog, Bo, in a car with this caption: “How loving owners transport their dogs.” The tweet is in reference to an admission that Mitt Romney’s family once drove to Canada with the family dog strapped to the roof.

    teezzor for what awaits the fruit of the loon candidate,.


    and in other news,
    the Obama’s perfect the international symbol for “get whitey”

  12. 12.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    now that i no longer live in places that are heavily mormon, i no longer notice the magick undie “print” you can see under white dress shirts. the plunging neckline led to the colloquial names of “swoop neck” or “smiley face” for that phenomenon. my fave name for los mormones is still “cricket stompers”, though.

  13. 13.

    Svensker

    January 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    This is of course all Michelle’s fault for being so darn cute and sexy that writing about her buying lingerie doesn’t immediately make people want to vomit…STOP BEING SO SEXY MICHELLE

    Actually, I think this all about Those People and their nouveau-riche spending ways. If you know what I mean, wink, wink, say no more. Cadillacs. T-bones. Know wut I’m sayin?

  14. 14.

    mistermix

    January 30, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    @lamh35: I hope he does bring it up and she says something clever about it and the world continues spinning on its axis. That’s how you denature this shit.

  15. 15.

    Violet

    January 30, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Or are there two sets of standards, one for Mrs. Obama, and one for Mitt Romney?

    Well, yes. Duh. Mitt Romney’s magic underwear is a private religious matter. Michelle Obama’s not-a-factual lingerie shopping spree is the act of an elitist, out of touch, uppity black woman who is secretly Muslim.

  16. 16.

    Cain

    January 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    We should ask the President on Google+ about it, he’s going to hang out at 5:30pm EST today! (that’s 2:30 for you PST folks)

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    January 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    @lamh35:

    I almost wish Carney had said something like, “Way to ruin the president’s Valentine’s Day surprise, guys,” but he’s too classy for that.

    But, yeah, pretty much every person I’ve mentioned this story to is not getting the “scandal” of a married woman buying expensive lingerie, especially a few weeks before Valentine’s Day.

  18. 18.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    @lamh35:

    how dare she “BRING THE SEXY BACK” to the White House.

    Gahd only knows that there was no sexy in the White House when the Quaker Oats man was FLOTUS…

  19. 19.

    Tone In DC

    January 30, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    The press in America seems to dislike Michelle Obama. The European press is almost as bad. This is what the 24 hour news cycle has done to the world.

    Back to White Collar on demand. Watching Marsha Thomason and Tim DeKay is MUCH better than stories like this.

  20. 20.

    slag

    January 30, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I read somewhere that Mitt Romney spent $62,381.52 last year alone on Mormon p0rn (Morporn?) sites. Will the press help us squash that rumor, please?

    Also, mistermix, since you seem to recognize the negative effects of BJ readers using ad blockers on this site, maybe you can see your way to doing something (anything) about the p0rn ad that seems to be plaguing us all? Change of settings somewhere? There’s gotta be a control for this kind of thing. Ping Blogad maybe?

  21. 21.

    KG

    January 30, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I think the scandal is that the president and first lady don’t have separate bedroom, or even twin beds separated by a night stand. Or maybe it’s the implication that the president may be having sexual relations with a woman who is his wife rather than one who is not? Honestly, I got nothing

  22. 22.

    Nellcote

    January 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    Why are you giving this disgusting gooper story more play with a front page post? How about a post about Boner’s tar sands investments instead?

  23. 23.

    TooManyJens

    January 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    @Svensker: Exactly. The right’s entire political base is built on the fear of Those People taking OUR money (and then blowing it because they have no self-control). This story is just a different way of saying, “See what they’re like? Probably used your tax dollars, too. Mmm-hmm.”

  24. 24.

    jl

    January 30, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    OK, lets see here. Mitt Romney in his religious long johns, or Michelle Obama and lingerie. I think one topic will be more popular than the other. At least for most people. Sorry, need to look for another angle for hard hitting investigative journalism on Romney that will attract attention.

  25. 25.

    General Stuck

    January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    And where is Mitt Romney’s birth certificate? Didn’t he arrive via space ship?

    9 And thus there shall be the reckoning of the time of one aplanet above another, until thou come nigh unto Kolob, which Kolob is after the reckoning of the Lord’s time; which Kolob is set nigh unto the throne of God, to govern all those planets which belong to the same border as that upon which thou standest.

    You just know that baby jeevus is gonna need an answer to who this Kolob motherfucker is. It better be a good one.

  26. 26.

    boss bitch

    January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    The dollar amount she allegedly spent should have been enough for any news outlet or blog to dismiss this story.

  27. 27.

    David Fud

    January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    When did that ad with the girl with no underwear at all show up in the upper left? (or is that saying something about my advertising preferences?)

    Jeez, all this talk of underwear has encouraged all the wrong types to start advertising here. Not that I don’t appreciate her, but I think she wants what’s in our wallet, not our pocket.

  28. 28.

    burnspbesq

    January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Good grief.

    I’m reminded of Slim Pickens’ line from “Blazing Saddles” when the bad guys arrive at the toll booth for the LePetomane Thruway.

    I.e., “What’ll those assholes think of next?”

  29. 29.

    Brachiator

    January 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    @Tone In DC:

    The press in America seems to dislike Michelle Obama. The European press is almost as bad.

    Disagree, and doubly disagree that this has anything to do with the 24 hour news cycle. And I’ve noticed more favorable coverage in the foreign press when American news media are recycling GOP smears and innuendo.

    Meanwhile, I’m enjoying this snarky quote in the Comments section of the article about Mrs Obama:

    I bought Barbara Bush’s underwear at a surplus auction, it keeps the elements off my ’75 Chevy Caprice, very nicely.

  30. 30.

    maya

    January 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    IMSMC, I do believe there was inquisative speculation as to whether Clinton wore boxer or briefs when he was POTUS. See! Both sides do it.

  31. 31.

    namekarB

    January 30, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Instead of “Magic Underwear” can we switch to Spanglish and call them Chonies Magia?

  32. 32.

    drc

    January 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Attention Right Wing Bloggers:
    Loser called. It would like its’ good name and reputation back.

  33. 33.

    Mnemosyne

    January 30, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    @TooManyJens:

    This story is just a different way of saying, “See what they’re like? Probably used your tax dollars, too. Mmm-hmm.”

    Ding ding ding. The Goopers want people to focus on the $50K but, let’s face it, this is America, and most people are going to be thinking about the lingerie.

  34. 34.

    Brachiator

    January 30, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    @Violet:

    Well, yes. Duh. Mitt Romney’s magic underwear is a private religious matter. Michelle Obama’s not-a-factual lingerie shopping spree is the act of an elitist, out of touch, uppity black woman who is secretly Muslim.

    Yeah. Sadly, that’s pretty much it.

  35. 35.

    PeakVT

    January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    @namekarB: I think “sous-vêtements magique” would be more appropriate for Romney.

  36. 36.

    slag

    January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    @Violet:

    Mitt Romney’s magic underwear is a private religious matter.

    I think we need a pastor sniffer’s call on this one.

    Last I checked, President Obama’s private religiosity was all over teh intertubes. He even had to give a speech on the subject. I say let’s get some cameras in some Mormon churches for a while. I’m sure no crazy shit happens there.

  37. 37.

    CaptainFwiffo

    January 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Is it just me, or does magic underwear actually make a lot more sense than the ostentatious vestments worn by the clergy?

    Matthew 6:5-6
    5 “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father who is in secret; and thy Father who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

    Being an atheist I don’t generally agree with Mormons on much, and most religious things make NO SENSE to me. But religion, like underwear, is very much a personal article. Having religious underwear makes all the sense in the world. I don’t really understand what’s supposed to be wrong with it.

  38. 38.

    Woodrowfan

    January 30, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Well, this thread certainly sparked more interesting ads than usual..

  39. 39.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo: i love the bible. even the parts that contradict the other parts.

  40. 40.

    MikeJ

    January 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    @Cain:

    Also too on youtube.
    http://www.youtube.com/WHITEHOUSE?feature=inp-lt-SOU

  41. 41.

    CaptainFwiffo

    January 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    The bible has good and bad parts (and some very good and very bad parts), being a nearly random assemblage of stories. That particular part strikes me as a very good one, and I don’t just mean that sarcastically as an atheist who would like religious people to shut up sometimes. It actually makes a lot of damn sense. How you talk to God in private should matter a lot more than how you talk to God to show off to other people.

    Having your religious vestments hidden means that your personal relationship with God matters a lot more than what other people think about your personal relationship with God.

  42. 42.

    JoyceH

    January 30, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    @boss bitch:

    The dollar amount she allegedly spent should have been enough for any news outlet or blog to dismiss this story.

    They’ll probably print a retraction — weeks later and way to the back. Sort of like the New York Post reporting on her extravagant snack of lobster, champagne and caviar at the Waldorf-Astoria back during the campaign. Which would have been a real trick, since Mrs. Obama was actually in Indiana at the time the alleged snack took place.

  43. 43.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    If only the Mormon clergy had to sport the Very Special Undies it would be a valid comparison–but the faithful are ALL supposed to gird their holy loins, thusly (IIUC).

  44. 44.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo: i saw sully (and others) use that part of Matthew against Tebow. teh tebowtards and “annoy an atheist” crowd just pointed to different sections that promote making a public show of one’s faith. selective bible quoting is fun. just ask the leviticus = no gays crowd. most if not all of them prolly violate other portions of leviticus.

  45. 45.

    GregB

    January 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Boxers, briefs, magic under-wear or two wet-suits?

    Discuss.

  46. 46.

    kay

    January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Which hard hitting newsmaker is going to ask her husband about this?
    He so rarely gets angry it’s pretty effective when he does.
    Unlike the emotional wrecks on the other side, who are screaming constantly.

  47. 47.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    I was in a cab today, and the driver told me people are saying that Newt Gingrich wears lacy bloomers

    @pragmatism: Let he who enjoys a grilled ham and cheese be stoned unto death, for verily he has violated the laws of God

  48. 48.

    JC

    January 30, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    I’m so pissed about the media today. I know, we’ve been over it again and again, but sometimes it just builds…

    THIS story, as an example.

    E.J.Dionne and his ‘taking Obama to task’ for CONTRACEPTION??

    WTGDH???

    Not to mention, on that same topic, absolutely ZERO coverage in the media, of this eminently rational sane regulation, that DECREASES the number of abortions.

    So strange for EJ Dionne to be the ‘even the liberal says”, frontman for this false hit piece.

  49. 49.

    MikeJ

    January 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    @trollhattan:

    If only the Mormon clergy had to sport the Very Special Undies it would be a valid comparison—but the faithful are ALL supposed to gird their holy loins, thusly (IIUC).

    Isn’t every male mormon a priest?

  50. 50.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: why would our lord make a pig so delicious? that old testament dude just liked to mess with people.

  51. 51.

    jl

    January 30, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    @David Fud: Yowza! Why, yes, I may be interested in some ‘mutually beneficial arrangements’. I can hold up my end, iffya know waddimean? har har har.

    I already have a car, so don’t worry about that. I’ll drive.

    So, yes I agree, need more posts like this one.

    Another unclad lass just showed up on other side bar.

    We need a tagline, category, and lots of posts on attractive women and lingerie. IMHO. This is supposed to be a full service blog, but has long dropped the ball on that topic.

    And, to avoid sexism, I will put up with beefcake posts for the sake of others who might be interested.

  52. 52.

    JC

    January 30, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Also, I want me some ‘terrorist fist-jab’. I want it to be part of my ‘secret code’, saying ‘eff you Fox news’.

    Come get some!!

  53. 53.

    shoutingattherain

    January 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    The funny @ Wonkette:

    The last occupant of the White House who spent $50,000 on women’s underwear was George Bush.

    Big lulz…

  54. 54.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    @MikeJ: i think there are a few ifs there. must be married in the temple, etc. originally, every mormon was a priest as a fundamental tenet was a direct relationship with God. now the LDS fundies still practice that but in the LDS proper only the head honcho and his 12(?) apostles can speak with god directly.

  55. 55.

    CaptainFwiffo

    January 30, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    @trollhattan:

    If only the Mormon clergy had to sport the Very Special Undies it would be a valid comparison—but the faithful are ALL supposed to gird their holy loins, thusly (IIUC)

    So? Lots of religions require that their members wear certain things, or have a certain dress code. Conservative Islam requires that men wear a beard the size of their fist. Hasidic Jews have to wear special hats and beards. Conservative Christians are supposed to mind their modesty, and the Amish have all sorts of clothing specifications they need to follow. Hindu seems to require special Hinduish garb. So why does religious underwear bother people?

    Is it just intolerance generally? Who is hurt by magic undies?

  56. 56.

    Mnemosyne

    January 30, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    Is it just me, or does magic underwear actually make a lot more sense than the ostentatious vestments worn by the clergy?

    Meh. I never read that as the Bible saying that churches/synagogues weren’t supposed to have clergy — more that the church members aren’t supposed to make public demonstrations of being More Pious Than Thou.

    But it’s kind of a moot point nowadays since most nuns wear street clothes and you’d be hard-pressed to point out any clergy member in public who’s not a Catholic priest since no other denomination seems to have a “uniform.”

    (The New Testament doesn’t apply to Jews, so there’s no point in complaining about Orthodox Jews not following what Matthew says.)

  57. 57.

    jl

    January 30, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    Ask me! Ask me!

    “Is it just intolerance generally?”
    Yes.

    “Who is hurt by magic undies?”
    Nobody that I know of.

  58. 58.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Heck if I know. I understand Mittens is a Bishop, meaning he can only move diagonally. I suppose one of the “benefits” of the Mittens candidacy is learning about all this stuff in painful detail. I. Can’t. Wait.

  59. 59.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    @jl: what about the chafing? that may hurt.

  60. 60.

    Legalize

    January 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    “Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!”

  61. 61.

    Keith G

    January 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Now that Michelle Obama’s underwear is up for discussion at all the usual wingnut sites….

    Did I miss something, Mix? I read through the post waiting for the connecting links so I could see what was being said at those “wingnut sites”.

    Looks like you gave me nada, dude, or your lead sentence is rubbish. Too bad.

  62. 62.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    Is it just intolerance generally?

    I used to think of them as only annoying fellow Utahn non-believers but after their stealthy but significant role in Prop 8 in California, where I live, I decided the whole lot of them (talking the church now) are frauds who drag out their own history of oppression to hide behind while they actively oppress others. Screw ’em.

  63. 63.

    MikeJ

    January 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    @pragmatism: I realise wikipedia is not the best source, but as a starting point it says, “If an adult man joins the LDS Church, he may be given the Aaronic priesthood. After a period of time (usually about one year), the man may be given the Melchizedek priesthood.” Of course there are higher level priests.

    I think at third level you can start turning the undead, but frankly I never played anything after 3E. A lot of Boot Hill and Traveller and even a little Gamma World though.

  64. 64.

    Calouste

    January 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    You mean Sikhs, not Hindus.

  65. 65.

    Calouste

    January 30, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Mittens can’t be a Bishop in that sense. It would mean that he could never change from black to white, and we all know that is not true. Although it would explain all that talk of a Knight coming to the rescue at the GOP convention.

  66. 66.

    redshirt

    January 30, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    @pragmatism: MAGIC underwear. No chafing, no binding, no loss of air flow. How they work, no one knows!

  67. 67.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    @MikeJ: you’re right then. the married in temple requirement goes to teh melchizedek level of scientology mormonism.
    lol turning the undead. back in my younger days i partook in several drinking extravaganzas (with kegs procured from Evanston, WY) up in the canyons near their hall of underground records. spoooooooky.

  68. 68.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    @redshirt:

    You’d think the NFL and Pentagon would want access to this technology.

  69. 69.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    @Calouste:

    Where would you like your Intertrons delivered?

  70. 70.

    Gustopher

    January 30, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Is this better or worse than the fictional “Whitey” tape? And, might she have simply been referring to her husband’s underwear in that tape, the “Tighty Whitey” tape?

  71. 71.

    WereBear

    January 30, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    50k on any kind of undies is ridiculous, unless it’s some nouveau riche contraption covered in bling, like mink-lined or diamond crusted. And then there could be injuries, ya know?

  72. 72.

    WereBear

    January 30, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Then there’s the Condi Rice at Ferragamo’s story, which has the misfortune of being true.

  73. 73.

    wasabi gasp

    January 30, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Christians spend a day each year walking around with dirt on their foreheads. Some of them get it all smudgy. Time for an oil change.

  74. 74.

    The Dangerman

    January 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    @Legalize:

    “Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!”

    Shitload? Are we talking about Santorum here?

  75. 75.

    freelancer

    January 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    @Keith G:

    Front page of Drudge there, guy. It’s page one wingnut news.

  76. 76.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    January 30, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    @redshirt:

    What I want to know is if Romney can pull a rabbit out of his magic underwear.

    Romney: “Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my underwear.”

    Rocky: “Again?”

    Romney: ” Nothin’ up my sleeve… and… presto!” (He pulls out a duck instead)

    Rocky: “And now its time for another special feature.”

  77. 77.

    Keith G

    January 30, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    @freelancer: Thanks. Somehow I missed that link in the original post.

  78. 78.

    joes527

    January 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Or are there two sets of standards, one for Mrs. Obama, and one for Mitt Romney?

    Absolutely. 100% No question.

    Mitt Romney in a corset would be just wrong.

    @boss bitch:
    The only way that number makes any sense at all is if the Agent Provocateur undies came with the mechanical bull (and maybe Kylie Minogue as well)

  79. 79.

    Brachiator

    January 30, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    So why does religious underwear bother people?

    Doesn’t bother me. I find it funny. And kind of silly.

    Some people, specially Murikins, have a hangup over body issues. So magic under drawers blends the pious and the salacious.

  80. 80.

    harlana

    January 30, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    ON MAJIK UNDERPANTS

  81. 81.

    harlana

    January 30, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    i am finding out some disturbing shit about Mormons and their religion, just scratch the surface. the difference between Mormonism and other religions is their secrecy and their ability to blend into society as wholesome, predominately white citizens who look just like people who don’t wear white robes and swear blood oaths to have their throats slit and their hearts and bowels torn out if they reveal the secrets of the temple

    Mormons don’t wear their religion on their sleeves like other people and it makes you wonder why – cause there’s a lotta stuff the kids on bikes don’t tell you

  82. 82.

    Jay C

    January 30, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    @The Ancient Randonneur:

    They were crickets. btw, and most likely the Mormons would have kept going til they got to California. Bad enough they own Utah: what would have happened if they’d ended up owning Oakland??

  83. 83.

    Gwangung

    January 30, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    I’d laugh except I suspect the usual suspects dropped the decimal point on the dollar amount. Or never learned the use of the period in dollar amounts in school.

  84. 84.

    bemused

    January 30, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    @harlana:

    I’m reading the article about Mitt in my latest issue of Vanity Fair and the section about his term as a bishop and the Mormon church rules in general are disturbing. Insular and isolating to a cultish degree, imo.

  85. 85.

    harlana

    January 30, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    i guess the point being, there has been so much emphasis on the evangelical vote, but mainstream Christians, many of whom are republicans as we know, are not going to be able to cast their vote for somebody who participates in what some would call “satanic” rituals, this sort of stuff is foreign to most people and it’s going to scare and/or insult them, i’m just saying

  86. 86.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    @Jay C: they would have run into the same issues in CA that they had in IL and MO (namely, people trying to kill them). UT or NV were the only real options. the fact that UT looked like Israel cemented it for them and that’s why there are places named Zion in UT.
    re: crickets, was it God who sent the seagulls specifically to save los mormones, or was it that there is a GREAT SALT LAKE nearby that accounts for the gulls saving the cricket stompers?

  87. 87.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 30, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    @pragmatism: Who put the lake at that spot? Well??

  88. 88.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    January 30, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    @Jay C: They don’t own Oakland? Then what is that huge temple of theirs in the hills about?

  89. 89.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Dammit Omnes. Lol

  90. 90.

    harlana

    January 30, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    i guess the problem is, republicans have to be the ones to attack his religion, Obama can’t do it, the race seems to be tightening up quickly, or so they say, there may not be enough time, but if somebody starts dissecting it, it would be devastating stuff.

  91. 91.

    Silver

    January 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    Michelle Obama in an AP corset?

    At least Barack has something goddamn amazing to look forward to this election season. Lucky man.

  92. 92.

    PurpleGirl

    January 30, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    @Zifnab: But don’t you want to know that she is a spendthrift, wasting [our tax] money on such fripperies? /snark

    ETA: I really don’t care how much she did or did not spend on the lingerie. Once he gets his paycheck, it’s his and her money, just as it is for the rest the us.

  93. 93.

    Elie

    January 30, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    @harlana:

    I hear THAT for sure….

    “Banner of Heaven” and a number of friends who have lived “among ’em”. One still has her pink revolver by her side…

    \\\\these folks don play… all nice nice, long underbritches on one side, well behaved wimenfolks and all — and a lot of dead people in the desert on the other…

    NO THANKS

  94. 94.

    Cacti

    January 30, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    @harlana:

    predominately white citizens who look just like people who don’t wear white robes and swear blood oaths to have their throats slit and their hearts and bowels torn out if they reveal the secrets of the temple

    How dare you spread this slander!

    They got rid of the blood oaths in the early 1990s. ;-)

  95. 95.

    Cacti

    January 30, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    @bemused:

    I’m reading the article about Mitt in my latest issue of Vanity Fair and the section about his term as a bishop and the Mormon church rules in general are disturbing. Insular and isolating to a cultish degree, imo.

    One of Mitt’s responsibilities as a Bishop would be “worthiness interviews” for every member over age 12.

    Among the questions asked is whether or not you touch yourself. Now imagine Mitt in a closed room with a pre-teen boy or girl, asking if they indulge in self-service.

    The “Ick” factor is off the charts.

  96. 96.

    Princess

    January 30, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    So, I did it. I got curious because of this thread and googled “Mormon porn.” And man, that “bubbling” is just plain weird…

  97. 97.

    Elie

    January 30, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    @Elie:

    Read — Jon Krakauer – “Banner of Heaven”…

    A good murder mystery if nothing else. Think about it…

  98. 98.

    SBJules

    January 30, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    @pragmatism:

    I especially like the parts of the Bible that do contradict each other. But then I was raised a Mormon. Thank goodness, it didn’t take. I left the church because of their policies re: african-Americans.

  99. 99.

    Elie

    January 30, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    … and how do you like the Mormon practice of converting DEAD PEOPLE to becoming Mormons… yep — this is an important thing for them… converting (or “saving” to use a nicer euphemism), the gazillions of souls who did not die as Mormons (and therefore have to go to hell).

    Y’all have to educate yourselves about this belief system. (Religion just seems to confer too much credibility). Its a deeply held and very odd culture as well as a belief system. One of its lifelong symbols — the beehive — is instructive about what it is — a group of clones doing the bidding of the monarch without question… remember that when you do your own reading/research. Please do it.

  100. 100.

    pragmatism

    January 30, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    @SBJules: Have they hunted you down to get you back in the Mormon fold get your 10% tithing? My old roomie was an ex Mormon and he pissed off a friend. That friend called the local church and told them whereto find the ex Mormon. The relentless door knocking started soon thereafter.

  101. 101.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 30, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    I don’t know much about Mormoms, only things I know are works of fiction; A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle and the first two seasons of Big Love.

  102. 102.

    Elie

    January 30, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    And that is why people should see for themselves — find their own information and path to interpreting it.. Its just too important to have the accusation that its one person’s narrow view of a religion — which Lord knows, has happened many times over the centuries of man’s existence on this planet..

    Learn what you can on the structure and primary beliefs and how the community LIVES with others. Think about how that is going to work in our country — both now – (less threatenning) and in the future should they be very influential. Yes, all religions influence — no less the Catholics, Jews, Muslims and everybody else. YOU be the judge whether this belief system presents something different. YOU take it in and make your own decisions…

  103. 103.

    trollhattan

    January 30, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Highly recommend “The Gathering of Zion: The Story of the Mormon Trail” by Wallace Stegner. Wait’ll you get to the tale of the handcart pioneers.

  104. 104.

    Suffern ACE

    January 30, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Well I’m guessing the story is bogus, but I have to admit, speculating about underwear is more interesting than reading her undergraduate senior thesis.

  105. 105.

    The Other Chuck

    January 30, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    So they baptize dead people? Big deal. Oral Roberts is an atheist. I just declared him so. I also mumbled a bit of pig latin while wearing a snuggie, and waved my dinner fork, so that makes it extra so.

    Really folks, the dead don’t care.

  106. 106.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 30, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    @The Other Chuck: Oral Roberts a a full-fledged member of the cult of Mithras. I poured the blood on him myself.

  107. 107.

    burnt

    January 30, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    As a child I loved Quaker Oats with a little milk and a little honey/brown sugar. Yumm!

    As a young adult I moved to the District during the twilight of the Reagan administration. Reagan left and Bush I followed–the first glorious mystery. I was having a gin and tonic at the Fox and Hounds one evening and I glimpsed one of the first official portraits of Barbara Bush in the hands of some Republican dweeb. I remember feeling bad that my first thought was of the Quaker Oats dude. Curse you Villago Delenda Est.

  108. 108.

    Mnemosyne

    January 31, 2012 at 12:49 am

    @The Other Chuck:

    Really folks, the dead don’t care.

    The post-mortem baptisms that really got bad publicity were when it was discovered that they had been secretly Mormonizing Holocaust victims.

    Yes, it’s true that the dead Jewish victims of the Nazis probably aren’t in a place where they care one way or another, but it’s pretty presumptuous to decide that you should posthumously baptize someone who was murdered because of their religion.

  109. 109.

    b-psycho

    January 31, 2012 at 2:30 am

    Careful, they might switch to spreading rumors that she doesn’t wear any.

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