Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Let’s finish the job.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Come on, man.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Second rate reporter says what?

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

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Late Night Open Thread

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BTW- Been sleeping like a baby the last two nights. I think it is because ABL tore up the divorce papers, but after I told her she could gladly “HAVE HALF OF JACK SHIT” she decided that was the best move.

In other news, I’m totally addicted to the West Wing, which I watched sporadically when it was on live, but am just loving now. The dialogue is so good, and I just love Toby and of course, my favorite, Donna. She rocks. I want a Donna Moss in my life.

Finally, for the last couple of years, some nice woman in NY has sent hand made crocheted catnip balls for Tunch. I would tell you her name or even write a thank you note, but Tunch jumped onto a table where I keep the mail, shredded the package to get at them, and I have no way to make out the return address. I actually sat for a while thinking how good I have it with Lily on my lap, watching Tunch play with one of the balls and Rosie chewing a rawhide for a while, and it was nice. Just me and the kids. Then I decided you all would love a picture of Tunch playing, so I got up and got the camera, and when I came back he was gone. Why? Because like every other cat, he’s an asshole, that’s why.

Reader Interactions

109Comments

  5. 5.

    West of the Cascades

    It’s like the old New Jersey tourism slogan: “Cole and ABL — Perfect Together.”

    Means I have one less click to get my daily fill of snark. Ahhhhh.

  6. 6.

    General Stuck

    think it is because ABL tore up the divorce papers, but after I told her she could gladly “HAVE HALF OF JACK SHIT” she decided that was the best move.

    The little fluffy nest of hot air is made whole again. The clouds have parted and even the circling vultures feel the Rhythm of blog peace. for now

  7. 7.

    Roger Moore

    after I told her she could gladly “HAVE HALF OF JACK SHIT” she decided that was the best move.

    What do you mean “JACK SHIT”? Last time I checked, you have a blog, two dogs, and a very fat fluffy cat. Who wouldn’t want Lily and Tunch?

  12. 12.

    jl

    Hey, Cole! hey!

    I’m wondering if that nice lady in NY is giving you a little hint.

    You know, them catnip balls can make you frisky, as Tunch demonstrated.

    Some nice lady sent me gifts related to balls and frisky, I would perform some due diligence.

    Is she single?

    Cole should check it out. But he never listens to me. I try and try, but its hopeless. I worry about the boy.

    Edit: forgot to mention that Cole owes the very loyal and faithful BJ community Tunchnip pix. And Rosie chewtoy pix.

    And, whither Lily?

  16. 16.

    Nellcote

    West Wing saved my sanity during the latter Clinton years. Prez Bartlett was my “real” president. He even yelled at God.

  17. 17.

    Mark S.

    Lost in all the Komen news:

    Is Israel preparing to attack Iran?

    Israeli leaders are said to accept, and even welcome, the prospect of going it alone and demonstrating their resolve at a time when their security is undermined by the Arab Spring. “You stay to the side, and let us do it,” one Israeli official is said to have advised the United States. A “short-war” scenario assumes five days or so of limited Israeli strikes, followed by a U.N.-brokered cease-fire. The Israelis are said to recognize that damage to the nuclear program might be modest, requiring another strike in a few years.

    That sounds kind of cocky. Maybe it’s just a trial balloon. I don’t think most Americans would be down for a war with Iran, but I’m sure Romney and the Republicans are. This might actually be a campaign issue.

  18. 18.

    Spaghetti Lee

    In case you didn’t know (and why wouldn’t you?) today was Ayn Rand’s 107th birthday! I celebrated by sitting in a dark room and bitterly telling myself how superior I was to all the sheeple outside, occasionally taking a break to yell at a passing grade-school kid to get a job. It’s what Ayn would have wanted.

  20. 20.

    jl

    @Roger Moore: Nah. Cole chickened out of his California trip. He is AFRAID to come out here. I double dog dare Cole to come out to CA.

    Was Cole ever forced to come out to scary CA in the military? Did he ever leave the base? I wonder. If so, I think he did not, I think he was sccccaaarrrred.

    Lemme see, if Cole was out here, I figure he was either SF, down near Monterey, or out by San Berdoo.
    If he was out at Irwin, near San Berdoo, there is some scary stuff out there, so I wouldn’t blame him for cowering on the base.

  21. 21.

    srv

    @Mark S.: The Pentagon and Obama have made it clear, the Israelis are on their own.

    Expect bombs in October.

    @jl: I too was disappoint. Had the Toronado ready for the virtual fatman.

  22. 22.

    Roger Moore

    @chrome agnomen:

    ABL and Cole, sittin’ in a tree,
    K…I…S…SF…U…C…K…I…N…G,

    First come sex
    Then comes gay marriage
    Then comes abortion instead of a baby carriage

    (Updated for modern liebrul lifestyles.)

  23. 23.

    jl

    @srv: California has famous cheese cheese cheese now. Jut like Europe.

    I heard some Modesto California cheddar beat out some famous English cheddar, in England last year at some hoity toity food fair. I think that is what started the riots. Forget the name.

    Edit: It’s Fiscalini Cheese. But it was 2007

    “Our Bandage Wrapped Cheddar won Best Extra Mature Traditional Cheddar in the World at the 2007 World Cheese Awards in London.”

    http://fiscalinicheese.com/

  24. 24.

    suzanne

    I’m thrilled that ABL is back. I hope you admitted that you were wrong.

    I have a question for the BJ hive mind. My salad spinners have both given up the ghost and I want a better-quality one. Any recommendations?

  26. 26.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @jl:

    I think Cole was in San Diego in the last couple of years. I seem to remember him raving about the weather and the Mexican food.

  27. 27.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    In other news, I’m totally addicted to the West Wing, which I watched sporadically when it was on live, but am just loving now. The dialogue is so good …

    Wasn’t Sorkin on like a fourteen year coke bender when he wrote the first three seasons?

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s easy to accidentally fit 14 years into 3 when you do enough blow.

    .

    .

  31. 31.

    Violet

    @suzanne:
    I’ve had the OXO one for years and it’s still working just as well as it did out of the box. The inner basket is removable and it’s easy to clean and store. Not too expensive.

  33. 33.

    trollhattan

    @JGabriel:

    I think it’s telling he was popped for schrooms (Burbank airport?). Not many can write dialogue like he can, whatever the inspiration.

  34. 34.

    jl

    @Roger Moore: Oh. Well, see, San Diego is not really part of California. Doesn’t count. No true Scotsman.

    So Cole is afraid to come to SF Bay Area. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    San Diego is soft. Might as well be in Hawaii Sorry San Diegans, the truth hurts.

  35. 35.

    Violet

    Lily on my lap, watching Tunch play with one of the balls and Rosie chewing

    This snippet really could be misinterpreted.

  38. 38.

    Cap'n Swag

    I thought it was amazing how the final season (2006) mirrored the real 2008 election. It’s not a perfect 1:1 comparison, but there’s some similarities.

    Also, I think I’ve read that it was supposed to be focused on Rob Lowe’s character, with the president being only an ancillary part.

    The part where the president’s daughter gets kidnapped was eye roll territory, though. That was clearly the show’s nadir.

  41. 41.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @suzanne: @Violet: Second that. I’ve had mine for at least 8 years and it’s still in great condition, and works better than any other model I’ve encountered.

    I’ve only ever seen one WW episode, but I’ve seen it three times: every time I’ve happened upon it on the TV, over a period of years, it’s been the one where one of the staffers gets shot and they do a big ol’ flashback sequence. Same with Buffy – I’ve seen the pilot episode three times in random tunings-in, but never any others. It’s like Groundhog Day with no progress.

  42. 42.

    calliope jane

    I love Toby, so much. I think he’s my favorite (although every time I say that, I think, what about CJ, Leo, Donna, Josh, Charlie, Sam! Gah. I love all of them. Damn it, now I need to pull out my DVDs). I’m seconding the love of 17 people (when you yell you make it harder for people to find the funny :). I also love Celestial Navigation– for the title, alone, but it has Toby being kick-ass (“nothing about this that doesn’t stink”), Sam being his adorably nerdy self, and Josh’s secret plan to fight inflation (infwation :). Oh, and Edward James Olmos :) Ahem. Not that I’ve watched this show a lot or anything.

    And a bit of a West Wing tangent– for the longest time, I had a big problem with Lawrence O’Donnell but I wasn’t quite sure why…. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it took me way too long to realize that it was because he played Jed’s father. It’s the voice, but I couldn’t place it, so I was just thinking “bad guy” every time I heard him.

  43. 43.

    suzanne

    @Violet: The plastic or the stainless? I’ve lost two plastic ones in the last couple of months. One melted onto the dishwasher coil, one cracked. I was kinda looking for something sturdier.

  48. 48.

    freelancer

    @sloan:

    Here’s some beautiful Dvorak Symphony No.9 for anyone who would care to turn their brain off

    My muscle memory forces me to stick with QWERTY so it’s a fait accompli at this juncture.

  51. 51.

    srv

    @jl: Well, I’ve been to Pt. Reyes, and Peggy may speak French, but the chicks laboring at the vats did not.

    I wasn’t sure who was in charge, but they were a bit young. Or I was too creepy old.

    Sigh.

  54. 54.

    freelancer

    I’ve only ever seen one WW episode, but I’ve seen it three times: every time I’ve happened upon it on the TV, over a period of years, it’s been the one where one of the staffers gets shot and they do a big ol’ flashback sequence.

    In the Shadow of Two Gunmen, Parts I & II

    Happy Groundhog Day to you.

  55. 55.

    jl

    The stuff in the Ferry building market is so damn expensive, I have a rule: no free samples out front, no business. Unless I absolutely need something.

    So only been to Cow Girl a couple of times when they had the specific cheese I needed.

    The counter lady knew everything about this some kind of special Swiss cheese. How high the pasture was (over 10000 feet, what kind of soil that gave the stuff a special taste, what kind of cows, all this stuff). She asked me if I would like some lower altitude cheese to get a different flavor. All over my head.

    I also learned that one says ‘Cheese of Switzerland’ not ‘Swiss cheese’ to avoid confusion. Still not sure whether she was pulling my leg.

    But, I cannot find any Schabziger around here. SF Bay is sooooo parochial.

    Edit: the prices at the farmers market outside are not so outrageous, so I am more generous with my custom there.

  56. 56.

    dance around in your bones

    @sloan: That was quite lovely, thank you. To see so many human beans get together to make beautiful music – that’s what humanity is about (or should be).

    eta: glad you and ABL kissed and made up, JC.

  59. 59.

    srv

    @jl: I need to meet her, because I’ve debated about Gruyere with the underlings.

    It sucks when you go to Switzerland, hike the alps, and some damn local gives you local Gruyere (yah, milk from that cow – over there!). Yes! I want the Obersteinberg @ 9K, please?

    Glabus is down by the lakes, so I don’t know where you get that stuff.

    edit – exagerate on K

  61. 61.

    dogwood

    @suzanne:

    I’ve had the same salad spinner for 30 years – a white cotton pillow case. Put the greens in the case, step outside and swing the case around your head for a few seconds. The pillow case never wears out, takes up virtually no space and it works like a charm.

  62. 62.

    dead existentialist

    I’ve not read this thread, but I want to say that West Wing did enormous damage to America because many people watched it (and loved it) while the Bush Admin wrecked the country. Many viewers made the assumption that the West Wingers were very much like the real people residing therein and thought that those real people shared the same attributes as the characters in the fictitious TV show.

    We Americans have a hard time distinguishing between fact and fantasy. It’s written into the Constitution, actually. Something about 3/5 . . . .

  64. 64.

    jl

    @srv: Yeesh. You settle for 11k Gruyere. How gauche, you plebe. The nice CG cheese lady explained to me that only over 15K will do for refined tastes.

    Hope you get one of the cheese mavens next time you go there.

    @Yutsano: Well, my link is still OK. I assume you are trying to fun me, buddy. A lot of this BJ stuff goes right over my poor little hick noggin;’, you know.

    How are things in the Great NW?

    Edit: Oh, I did not notice the Oh noes! at the top. Was that there earlier? Which one of you jokers did that?

    You snooty rootless cosmopolitan libs pulling pranks on salt of the earth Central Valleyites. For shame.

  65. 65.

    YoohooCthulhu

    In other news, I’m totally addicted to the West Wing, which I watched sporadically when it was on live, but am just loving now. The dialogue is so good, and I just love Toby and of course, my favorite, Donna.

    Just avoid the last season of West Wing, if you can–it’s painful.

  67. 67.

    srv

    @jl: That must be some fucking cow to climb Mount Blanc.

    I’ve been to 15K. Was quite ready to die, regardless of the cheese.

  70. 70.

    jl

    @srv: I dunno. Maybe she was totally BSing me. I had no idea what she was talking about, and I been to Switzerland several times.

    She was a very serious middle aged lady who seemed to know everything about all the cheeses. In fact she was the one who informed me that Sapsago is another name for Schabziger cheese.

    And I said ‘Woah, lady, I been to Switzerland and ate that stuff, and I didn’t know that. Who are you really, and where to you really come from?

    And BTW, for free samples at Cow Girl Creamery, you have to wait in that long line and then go up to the counter and act like you are going to, like, actually buy something, and then the have these cheese slicers for samples that produce these paper wafer thin thin thin little slices. Very slim free sample mooching opportunity zone. Just an FYI for anyone visiting the place.

  71. 71.

    Yutsano

    @jl: I’m innocent. I swear! I’m just a lowly tax agent who exists to give Burnsy ulcers.

    (Not really. We don’t cross divisional paths. But it would be funny if we did.)

  73. 73.

    paramedicx

    I find that if your spouse is spending 90% of the income for the house, if u ditch her & she takes *half* u actually gain 40%…just sayin’

  75. 75.

    srv

    @Yutsano: I once got into a pissing match with a Collections guy when I was in AUSC Underreporter (or night-shift Congressional, I forget)

    My paper beat his quota. Even came out night-shift to yell at me! Last bastion of DFH’s.

    If only I had been able to save Willie…

    God do I miss those country 940’s… NOT!

    @jl: I’ll try in the next couple of weeks. Get my leiderhosen on.

  77. 77.

    Warren Terra

    I’m just asking out of curiosity, but … how did this person find out where to send the catnip balls? I mean, I suppose I could track Cole down based on his name and his state of residence, maybe, but this person somehow had Cole’s home address?

  78. 78.

    trollhattan

    Holy crap, somebody in another thread mentioned Aasef Mandvi on TSD taking on Voldemort Scott and the Florida drug-testing regime tonight. Giant stones on that guy.

  80. 80.

    Yutsano

    @srv: I’m going back and forth with a tax examiner right now. Mostly because the dumbass broke communication protocol. He’ll eventually get his way, but not without abject humiliation first. :)

  81. 81.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @MikeJ: Well, I had had none, so I guess the answer is “no”.

    I’ve also been to a number of Rugby Union matches, at Blackheath RFC, and that was a fantastic time. Being able to walk around the side of the pitch with a pint sure didn’t hurt :-).

    Other “over there” sports experiences:

    I saw Charlton Athletic play several matches when they were sharing a stadium with Crystal Palace. The fans at those matches were amusing, in their fatalism about the team.

    Got to take my cousin to see West Ham (his favorite team) in a home match. They weren’t in the First Division at the time (this is pre-Premier League), but it was still pretty intense.

    Also took the cousin to see England play Yugoslavia at the old Wembly.

    Many years ago, when I was a kid, I saw Linfield play Southampton at Windsor park in Belfast. At that time, if they could lift you over the turnstile, you got in for free.

  82. 82.

    jl

    @Warren Terra: What occurred to me is maybe, on one of those arts n crafts BJ flea market posts, some nice lady from NY commented that she had catnip balls.

    And I think Cole wanted to have catnip balls. That’s what I think. And I think Cole said, claimed, purported, to want the catnip balls for his fat cat.

    That is my theory.

    Which brings to mind.

    Isn’t it time for another arts n crafts BJ flea market post?

    Did he initiate the process of acquiring catnip balls?

    That would explain why Cole did not check out the implication of a nice lady in NY sending him frisky items. It was a business transaction.

    Deep waters, here, you ask me.

    Edit: also too, everyone should demand a catnip balls themed rotating tag.

  83. 83.

    jl

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: I think Rugby is a great game to watch. Better than US football.

    only cricket I watched was on Monty Python sketch.

    And I saw something that looked like a cricket match on the athletic field when I was an undergrad. But, no one was moving. I waited for awhile, and no one moved. So I left after awhile.

    I think cricket is an odd game.

  84. 84.

    hitchhiker

    fun west wing factoids:

    1. it’s not an accident that the last season jimmy smits character reminds us of obama . . . the writers interviewed obama and had him in mind when they did that season. look it up.

    2. aaron sorkin made the actors speak his dialogue EXACTLY as he wrote it, no ad libbing whatsoever. just think of cj doing all those long delicious riffs, wow.

    3. i love that show so much . . . it kept me sane during certain horrible bush years when reality just became so unthinkably dismal — i could turn that on and see sane, kind, flawed, funny people and know that there just had to be some hope in a world that could produce that level of goodness to my living room.

  85. 85.

    JGabriel

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    In case you didn’t know (and why wouldn’t you?) today was Ayn Rand’s 107th birthday! I celebrated by sitting in a dark room and bitterly telling myself how superior I was …

    There are better ways to celebrate Ayn Rand, like, you know, dancing on her grave.

    Or pissing on it.

    Or defecating.

    Or digging up her crumbled bones, stuffing ’em in an envelope, and mailing it to Paul Ryan with a note that reads “HA HA, AYNTHRAX! Get it? Ayn Thrax? Oh, I slay me sometimes.”

    Edited to Add: On further reflection, it’s probably safest to stick with the dancing on her grave.

    .

  86. 86.

    srv

    @Yutsano: I can’t believe I was a GS-9 at 22… Fuck, I’d be retired now! People always asked “Didn’t you hate that job, weren’t people mean to you?” Nope – BMF folks were ecstatic to hear from a real human when I called them up at 9pm. Help me help you man, cause otherwise, Agents will be knocking on the door…

    Back when we gave out our names and stop addresses. Never got a grenade.

    F*ck with dayshift all you want.

  87. 87.

    MikeJ

    @hitchhiker:

    it’s not an accident that the last season jimmy smits character reminds us of obama . . . the writers interviewed obama and had him in mind when they did that season. look it up.

    And Josh was explicitly modelled on Rahm.

  88. 88.

    ulee

    I’m not concerned about catnip balls. Catnip balls are not my focus. My concern is the middle class, not catnip balls, nor am I am focused on them.

  91. 91.

    Michelle

    The West Wing is a million miles of greatness. A couple years ago I sat down and watched it…except for the last season. I just don’t want it to end.

  92. 92.

    Triassic Sands

    Because like every other cat, he’s an asshole, that’s why.

    No, because like every other cat he knows that anyone who expects him to perform on cue is an asshole.

  93. 93.

    ulee

    There are three holes in the cellar door. Tunch will trap and kill the catnip balls. Cole will awake and sleep no more.

  96. 96.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    You know what I like? When a relative inadvertently reveals what they think of you. I got an email from my brother, sent from his phone, and the name for me was “El Mocoso”. When I asked him about it, he feigned ignorance at where it could have come from.

  101. 101.

    rikryah

    about West Wing…even the ‘ bad’ seasons have sparks in them that make nearly everything on ‘regular’ tv look shameful. But, make no mistake, the first 4 seasons of WW will go down as some of the best written television EVER.

  104. 104.

    Maude

    I worked at a garden center that had a cat. When the herbs were delivered, he would jump on the right table and bite your hand if you touched the catnip.

  105. 105.

    Polar Bear Squares

    I, also too, am glad to see ABL and Cole back together again. It’s like one of those over-the-hill R&B cruise tours with the Whispers, Cameo and the Temptations. Nothin’ but the hits baby!

    I’m not a big pets fan but dammit you and your obsession with your pets are starting to soften me up. I’m actually starting to look forward to pictures of those critters. Sigh. Gettin old and sentimental sucks.

  106. 106.

    tavella

    I bailed after season 4, because it went from Sorkin dialogue to soap-opera dialogue. It wasn’t terrible, if you like that sort of thing, but I don’t.

  107. 107.

    ABL

    just saw this and spewed yogurt onto my monitor. so now you owe me a new monitor in addition to half of jack shit.

    i wish i could quit you.

  108. 108.

    ABL

    @sloan: it’s amazing that you just posted that. that’s one of my favorite movements of any symphony ever.

    also just a couple years ago it hit me like a ton of bricks that the john williams must have borrowed the first few bars for the theme music for jaws.

    bravo!

  109. 109.

    txvoodoo

    I am SO happy ABL is back here.

    And pets never stay cute. You’ve gotta catch the cute unawares. I have one who runs when he sees the camera. I’ve started taking pictures of him with my back to him.

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