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You are here: Home / Healthcare / World's Best Healthcare (If You Can Afford It) / What I learned from The Corner today – An occasional series

What I learned from The Corner today – An occasional series

by Sarah, Proud and Tall|  February 3, 20126:58 pm| 40 Comments

This post is in: World's Best Healthcare (If You Can Afford It), Assholes, Decline and Fall, I Read These Morons So You Don't Have To

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Warning: Many links are to Kathryn Jean’s Fluffy Pink Womb of Zygote Love.

Cesare-Auguste Detti (Cesare Auguste Detti) (1847-1914) The Arrival of the Baby"

Kathryn Jean thinks that Mitt Romney is a man of principle because he vetoed a section of legislation which would have required all Massachusetts hospitals, including Catholic ones, to provide emergency contraception to rape victims – or as she puts it:

would require Catholic hospitals to provide abortifacient drugs

thus managing both to include the word “abortifacient” and entirely exclude the words “emergency”, “rape” and “victim” – even though Romney vetoed it for entirely political reasons, knew at the time his veto would be overturned, even said that “in his heart of hearts,” he believed that rape victims should have access to emergency contraception, but now believes that a similar rule “tramples on religious freedom”.

President Obama, on the other hand, is a big scary blah man who wants to take away, in turn, our liberties, our virginal innocence and the little blah babies he fathered upon us with his heathen lusts.

Also, Kathryn Jean is preparing for the inevitable day when she will need to snuggle up next to Mitt’s special undies and worship at the temple of the Mitt. I bet Mitt’s pubic hair looks just like the hair on his head.

Also, defunding Planned Parenthood was a “business choice“. Italics in the original.

The “Editors” think that Susan G. Komen for the Cure is (or at least was, and probably still is) an organisation of principle because Planned Parenthood doesn’t do mammograms, all they do is do breast checks and refer people for mammograms. So there. After all, finding out how to check your own breasts and then obtaining a referral to a mammogram clinic when you find a lump is easy-peasy when you are poor and/or illiterate and/or don’t have insurance. I think they offer them at McDonalds, with a side of fries and a free home pap smear kit. Besides, this is great because it lets us talk about abortions some more and donate our usual three bucks a month to a charity that doesn’t fund child murder and then feel smug about it.

The fact that Victor Davis Hanson – writing about President Obama appealing to black people – wrote the following sentence without being blasted into smoldering scoriae is proof that there is no God:

The strategy may have always been implicit, but I cannot quite remember a president or presidential candidate explicitly trying to rally a constituency on the basis of shared racial identity — except for Obama’s earlier appeals to Latinos to “punish our enemies” and his 2010 midterm video targeting specific special minority groups to get out and vote.

Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough.

Sorry. I seem to have had some bile stuck in my throat. Victor should, at the very least, have been afflicted with boils for that weaselly “explicitly” up there.

Just like me, Mark Krikorian thinks Ron Paul is a mouth-dribbling wackaloon, except for Mark it’s because Ron Paul is a closet lefty who doesn’t hate brown people and wants to give them lollipops instead of shooting them.

Daniel Foster REALLY doesn’t like Gawker:

(For the uninitiated, Gawker’s imperative role on the Internet is that of the mother bird, partially digesting the work of others with the enzymes of bored irony and the gastric juices of sarcasm, and regurgitating stub articles fit for the consumption of the shrieking, featherless hatchlings that comprise my doomed generation.)

Donald Trump is either tripping on some hellishly good painkillers or stark bugfuck mad. Or both, I suppose.

Gingrich:

What the Poor Need is a Fucking Trampoline.

Jesus. I what I need is a drink and some kind of pills. The green ones, I think.

Image: The Arrival of the Baby – Cesare-Auguste Detti (1847-1914)

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Reader Interactions

40Comments

  1. 1.

    scav

    February 3, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    What the Poor Need is a Fucking Trampoline.

    The poor’d probably get a really good bounce if Newt laid flat on the ground and everyone jumped on him.

  2. 2.

    Maude

    February 3, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    This is OT, but I have to tell this. AP headline, Gingrich called Romney Obama lite. Noot is a real fool.

  3. 3.

    General Stuck

    February 3, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    I wish Gingrich didn’t mention trampolines, that triggers my eternal grief over loss of The Man Show.

  4. 4.

    Cap'n Swag

    February 3, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    I think they do breast exams at Walgreens. You know, the same way they do pap smears.

    Fucking idiots.

  5. 5.

    Soonergrunt

    February 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick, am I going to have to start putting art pieces on my posts too?

    You know, what we really need is a fundraiser specifically for the Planned Parenthood Pregnancy Termination fund. Every penny raised could be donated in the names of K-Lo and Karen Handel.

  6. 6.

    Calouste

    February 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    @Maude:

    I’m sometimes wondering if the whole schtick of Gingrich is not to attack Romney from the right so that he looks like more of a moderate for the general election.

  7. 7.

    Soonergrunt

    February 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    @General Stuck: That was a sad day, indeed.

  8. 8.

    Citizen_X

    February 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Completely-sort-of-off-topic, here’s a clip of Teh Santorum getting Joansmacked. I thought you’d really appreciate it, Sarah. Me, I can’t stop laughing when I watch it.

    Courtesy of my pal Donna Lethal.

  9. 9.

    mclaren

    February 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    You misspelled that. Romney is a man of principal. Upon which he makes very nice interest.

  10. 10.

    Commenting at Ballon Juice since 1937

    February 3, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    You know Katie Jean has a poster of the Pres taped to the ceiling above her bed. Her current contract prevents her from admitting it.

  11. 11.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    February 3, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    @Soonergrunt:

    Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick, am I going to have to start putting art pieces on my posts too?

    Every now and then I do like to do a Levenson, dear.

    Just pictures of your doggy on every post. The proles punters will love it.

  12. 12.

    Rihilism

    February 3, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    I bet Mitt’s pubic hair looks just like the hair on his head

    Blech…, oh, and thanks for reading NRO so I don’t have to…

    @scav:

    True, but the resulting olfactory exposure might require hospitalization…

  13. 13.

    Mark S.

    February 3, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    The “Editors” think that Susan G. Komen for the Cure is (or at least was, and probably still is) an organisation of principle because Planned Parenthood doesn’t do mammograms, all they do is do breast checks and refer people for mammograms.

    Wow. I didn’t think anyone actually believed that bullshit reason.

  14. 14.

    piratedan

    February 3, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    @mclaren: yes, I agree, where the lies and bullshit are compounded daily.

  15. 15.

    Citizen_X

    February 3, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    the enzymes of bored irony and the gastric juices of sarcasm

    I see we have new material for the rotating taglines.

  16. 16.

    scav

    February 3, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    @Rihilism: ooooo, yeah. gotta think these things through. forgot about the whole superfund site end of things too.

  17. 17.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    February 3, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    I’d whap that man round the head with a fire iron if I could get in the same room as him without violating my parole conditions.

  18. 18.

    Ken

    February 3, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough.

    No, those are OK because white is the default. It’s only an issue when it’s non-whites calling for racial solidarity.

    There’s probably an analogy with shampoo formulas but I’ll leave that to the professional pundits.

  19. 19.

    Gin & Tonic

    February 3, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: I thought you were a TL sock puppet.

  20. 20.

    TaMara (BHF)

    February 3, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    I don’t know if it’s been mentioned in another thread, but our ABL seems to have made NBC News tonight (55 sec in)

  21. 21.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    February 3, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I thought you were a TL sock puppet.

    The mere thought gives a girl the tingles, dear. He could use me like a glove for as long as his heart desired.

    Heavens, I may have to go and lie down for a while.

  22. 22.

    Mark S.

    February 3, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    I liked

    the shrieking, featherless hatchlings that comprise my doomed generation

  23. 23.

    beltane

    February 3, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    I sometimes wonder if these conservatives ever go to the doctor because the health care system they describe bears no resemblance to the one I am familiar with. We must also consider the possibility that Kathryn Jean Lopez has never had any form of gynaecological exam in her entire life.

  24. 24.

    patrick II

    February 3, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    @Calouste:
    I have wondered the same thing, especially since it does not seem Newt is allowed to attack from the left. When Newt did attack from the left (the Bain vulture capitalism phase) the Republican establishment ire at Gingrich was notable, and he quickly moved again to the right flank.

    As independent, anti-establishment rebels go, Newt seems to have to know his place.

  25. 25.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 3, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    Mark Krikorian is a bigot, he is opposed to any immigration, legal or otherwise. Period.

  26. 26.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    February 3, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    @Mark S.:

    I liked the whole passage. Boy can write, no matter what his politics.

  27. 27.

    JCT

    February 3, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    I’m howling — from Charlie Pierce:

    In the NROHQ kitchen just now, Charlie Cooke wondered aloud, and here I paraphrase: “Does anyone on the Left even ask the basic question of whether a private charitable organization has the right to dispose of its money as it sees fit?”

    Wow — now that’s pathetic. Right up there with the butthurt howls of “Mah FREE SPEECH is being EATEN by the libruls” whenever some idiotic wingnut comment causes a backlash.

    I am beyond amazement at this point.

  28. 28.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    The way to deal with the likes of Victor Davis Hanson is to run him through with a period javelin. If we can just get some museum to loan us one…

  29. 29.

    Danny

    February 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    My favorite hypocrisy of the day over at NRO was half the posters at The Corner trying to spin a Savage Liberals Are Bullying A Private Non Profit Charity narrative (e.g. here and here), while inbetween those two posts we get this pearl from Michael New:

    In recent years pro-lifers have done a good job damaging the credibility and reputation of Planned Parenthood. This work has to continue. Just a short while ago, it would have been unthinkable for a group like the Komen foundation to sever its ties with Planned Parenthood. However, the fact that Planned Parenthood may no longer receive any future grants from such a popular charity is evidence of pro-life progress.

    These guys and gals have been spinning bullshit for so long that when the shit goes down they just can’t help themselves. Shameless? You betcha!

  30. 30.

    Steve

    February 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: You know, I bet there weren’t a lot of Krikorians on the Mayflower. Or on the Iroquois tribal council, for that matter.

  31. 31.

    Bruce S

    February 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    Who is Kathryn Jean?

    Is this “the Corner” where kids who act like idiots are forced to sit wearing a Dunce hat? Sounds like it…

  32. 32.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    February 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    @Bruce S:

    Kathryn Jean Lopez has been featured in Playboy* and praised for her “editorial daring.” An award-winning opinion journalist and editor, Lopez is the editor of National Review Online and an associate editor at National Review (a.k.a. National Review on Dead Tree).

  33. 33.

    Bruce S

    February 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Okay – Now I remember that Kathryn Jean centerfold.

  34. 34.

    rikyrah

    February 3, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    The fact that Victor Davis Hanson – writing about President Obama appealing to black people – wrote the following sentence without being blasted into smoldering scoriae is proof that there is no God:

    The strategy may have always been implicit, but I cannot quite remember a president or presidential candidate explicitly trying to rally a constituency on the basis of shared racial identity

    I will quote the blogger Prometheus6 who said it first:

    Black people do not vote for Barack Obama because HE is Black.

    They vote for Barack Obama because WE ARE BLACK.

    And, unlike other groups in this country, Black people VOTE IN WHAT THEY PERCEIVE TO BE THEIR OWN BEST SELF-INTEREST.

    Talked with a girlfriend this past weekend about this. The problem with Black folks is getting us TO the polls. Once we get there, we’re quite clear as to whom deserves our vote.

    We DO NOT have, as a community, a history of voting against our own best interests, like say, your working class White Republican voters, who have been voting against their own economic self interest for DECADES, as they wrapped themselves in the luxury of delusion of Whiteness.

  35. 35.

    Gretchen

    February 4, 2012 at 1:46 am

    Sarah, please! You gave me a visual of Mitt’s helmet-head pubes just before I’m going to bed. I blame my nightmares on you!

  36. 36.

    Another Halocene Human

    February 4, 2012 at 4:54 am

    scoriae, ie, slag. New word. Cool. Love the way you wrote this piece overall as well.

  37. 37.

    Another Halocene Human

    February 4, 2012 at 4:59 am

    I wish Gingrich didn’t mention trampolines, that triggers my eternal grief over loss of The Man Show.

    All I remember from that show are the shots of the camera panning over the boobs in the live audience and the girls (Juggs?) on the trampolines–which was nice, because who wanted to stare lovingly at Adam Corolla’s ugly mug? (Face for radio, I say.)

    Speaking of boobs or jugs, as a fellow female bodied person I didn’t much care to see titties bouncing, as I tend to wince in sympathy. There’s a reason all of us sporty types think sports bras are AWESOME. Just sayin’.

  38. 38.

    Another Halocene Human

    February 4, 2012 at 5:01 am

    By boobs in audience I do not mean bewbs, but rather mean to imply that these were fellers who were easily impressed.

  39. 39.

    Another Halocene Human

    February 4, 2012 at 5:08 am

    We DO NOT have, as a community, a history of voting against our own best interests, like say, your working class White Republican voters, who have been voting against their own economic self interest for DECADES, as they wrapped themselves in the luxury of delusion of Whiteness.

    Word.

    And maybe it’s the vodka talking, but I love the way you put that. Wrapped in the luxury of the delusion of Whiteness. Just look at the success of Lou Dobbs–the working class whites of a certain age I know who couldn’t bring themselves to vote Republican yet still gotta blame somebody for Everything That’s Wrong With The World and Hispanic immigrants got elected. They Tuk Er Jerbs, Also, too.

  40. 40.

    Auldblackjack

    February 4, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough.

    And Pat Buchanan …

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