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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Whaddya Know- Someone Else Has a Problem With Mah Authoritah!

Whaddya Know- Someone Else Has a Problem With Mah Authoritah!

by John Cole|  February 9, 20129:44 pm| 107 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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This is a benevolent dictatorship, and you come when I call or this is your fate:

It does appear that Tunch, unwilling to concede that he was in the wrong, has decided to deploy his KITTYZOMGLAZERSPEWPEWPEW in an attempt to gain entrance to the household.

I’ll pay for this crime, I’m sure.

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Reader Interactions

107Comments

  1. 1.

    Raven

    February 9, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Looks like a snow drift with eyes!

  2. 2.

    Nancy

    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Let that freaking kitty in or he will squash you like a bug!

  3. 3.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Now that’s an imposing stare! The size is pretty damned impressive.

    Also. Too.

  4. 4.

    jacy

    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    I dunno – he kind of looks like a furry, white wrecking ball. How strong are your fortifications?

  5. 5.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    If you show a picture of Lily like this, I’m calling the President to order a drone strike on your house.

  6. 6.

    BGinCHI

    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    I for one welcome our bright-eyed Tunch overlords.

  7. 7.

    General Stuck

    February 9, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    Tunch looks hungry, and quite evil. I’d sleep in the bathtub tonight, preferably full of water, just to be sure.

  8. 8.

    Raven

    February 9, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Two axe handles wide!

  9. 9.

    cathyx

    February 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    I’ll pay for this crime, I’m sure.

    A nicely placed cat turd should do the trick.

  10. 10.

    joeyess

    February 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…… Cole cracks me up.

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    February 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    I didn’t think light could escape that much mass. Maybe the glowy bits are Hawking radiation.

  12. 12.

    RossInDetroit

    February 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Not good odds. How far is the nearest international border?

  13. 13.

    trollhattan

    February 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Tunch=Schmoo.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lifeshmoo.jpg

    Only not as compliant.

  14. 14.

    Martin

    February 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Godzilla must be near.

  15. 15.

    goethean

    February 9, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Why is it that you can see wooden planks right through his body?

  16. 16.

    Mnemosyne

    February 9, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    I see the Abominable Snowman decided to pay you a visit.

  17. 17.

    eemom

    February 9, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    speak of the kitty-devil — I was looking at my Balloon Juice calendar and I noticed there’s a picture of Tunch on every page except May. Why isn’t he on May??

  18. 18.

    Cassidy

    February 9, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    Dude’s gonna get shanked when he’s sleeping.

  19. 19.

    MikeJ

    February 9, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    @Martin: I always thought he was sort of green. I wouldn’t call him “near”.

  20. 20.

    tulip

    February 9, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    My my he is a big boy isn’t he? He was looking thinner in some of the recent pictures…

    Apparently it was the angle.

  21. 21.

    Cassidy

    February 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    Oh and Balloon Juice Fitness Club. We should have one.

  22. 22.

    cathyx

    February 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    @tulip: The camera always adds ten pounds.

  23. 23.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    @goethean:

    I KNOW! He is like a Marshmallow Ghost Kitteh.

  24. 24.

    dance around in your bones

    February 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Dat kitteh is WIDE. Deh lazer eyes are just gravy.

  25. 25.

    John Cole

    February 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    @cathyx:

    The camera always adds ten pounds.

    Yeah, but I only used one camera.

  26. 26.

    RareSanity

    February 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Tunch is NOT amused…

    All I can imagine him thinking is:

    “At some point in time, you will have to sleep, human. It is then, that you will learn the consequences of your actions. Sleep tight funny man…”

  27. 27.

    Raven

    February 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    @cathyx: Yea, that’s why everyone was going on and on about how slim rosie looked this afternoon.

  28. 28.

    freelancer

    February 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    @cathyx:

    How many cameras were on him?

  29. 29.

    jl

    February 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Oh man, you are roadkill, Cole.
    Nice knowing you, big guy.

    At least we will have your pic now, in your memory, at the top of the blog.

    BTW, who is Tunch’s healthful slimming diet coming along? Or has he furred up for the brutal WV winters? Or is it both?

    Edit: Just one roll away, Cole, just one malicious Tunchroll away, over the hapless Cole, while he SLEEPS, and its pancake time. Sweet dreams, Cole.

  30. 30.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 9, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    I’ll pay for this crime, I’m sure.

    Unlike RC/Veritas’ GOP primary predictions, that you can take to the bank.

  31. 31.

    khead

    February 9, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    They are so much happier when they are on the other side of the door, you know.

    Preferably on a blanket of some kind.

    Just sayin’.

  32. 32.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 9, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    @eemom:

    I’m not home and don’t have my BJ calendar to hand, but I would have sworn Tunch was in every month. Might be misremembering, but you should maybe check again just to be sure. And I will look when I get home.

  33. 33.

    Some Guy

    February 9, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    That boy walks the fine line of funny and intimidating with the best of them.

  34. 34.

    Some Guy

    February 9, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    That boy walks the fine line of funny and intimidating with the best of them.

  35. 35.

    Wallis Lane

    February 9, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Beware the Kittens of the Corn.

  36. 36.

    greggha

    February 9, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Must be a big-ass camera.

  37. 37.

    cathyx

    February 9, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    It’s a good thing you have a wide angle lens, just sayin’.

  38. 38.

    jl

    February 9, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    Also, I think I’ll check for a high res version on the NASA site. Isn’t that Hubble telescope a wonder? Must be in the wide angle section.

    Hey, 37, no fair! One of us read the other’s mind.

  39. 39.

    cathyx

    February 9, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    I had 5 cats when I was growing up. One of them George, was obese and he was a long haired cat. Needless to say he looked huge. He never learned how to meow because he never needed to. My mom always fed him before he asked.

  40. 40.

    rikyrah

    February 9, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Those eyes are creepy

  41. 41.

    General Stuck

    February 9, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    Just received my Wacom graphics tablet today, and am giddy to play with it. Move over Picasso, here i come.

  42. 42.

    Cat Lady

    February 9, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Jabba The Tunch.

  43. 43.

    freelancer

    February 9, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    That cat has murder on the mind.

  44. 44.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I am Lolcatus of the Borg
    You shall be assimilated
    Resistance is futile

  45. 45.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    @cathyx:

    I had a 24-pound cat who rejoiced, unironically, in the name of Gay. (This was in the early 1950s, okay?)

    One time he was dozing on a windowseat in our dining room. He must have had a bad dream or something because he leaped up from a sound sleep, FLUNG himself through the window screen, landed several feet down, and ended up having to get a bunch of stitches because he had ripped up his side with the sharp edges of steel screening that he ripped through.

    Sweet cat but kind of stupid.

  46. 46.

    Jc

    February 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    Holy crap! That is one scary ass looking kitty!

    Whew!

    After the initial fright, I started chuckling.

    Good one Cole – we know Tunch is a sweetheart – but u wouldn’t know from this pic!

  47. 47.

    khead

    February 9, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Heh. Looks like Lolcatus has already assimilated a few worlds.

  48. 48.

    JenJen

    February 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    LOL LOL

  49. 49.

    J. Michael Neal

    February 9, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    You can’t tell me that he’d get a treat if he had come in, because he obviously ate all of them already.

  50. 50.

    cathyx

    February 9, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: We named our cats by looking up our last name in the phone book and seeing what first names were there. We had an unusual last name, so there weren’t many names to choose from. But we ended up with George, Charlie, Peter, Ralph, and Penny.

  51. 51.

    rikyrah

    February 9, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    found this quote about Willard at Washington Monthly:

    John in TX on February 09, 2012 11:06 AM:
    The Murdoch Street Journal says: “What Mr. Romney needs is to make a better, positive case for his candidacy beyond his business resume.”

    And there’s the rub. Romney can’t make a “better, positive” case because he has none to make. It simply wasn’t written into the operating system he’s running. This waxen simulacrum of a human being is like most of the 1 percent: a highly neurotic, control-freak sociopath who’s only “achievements” in life were made possible by the family’s money. Just like Shrub before him, if not for the gold-plated ladder provided by the family name Mitt would be working on a used car lot or as an assistant night manager at Pay Less Shoes. He simply feels he deserves the Presidency; he doesn’t actually have any ideas about what he’d do once there. (And as we all know, any “beliefs” this blundering animatronic mannequin has are likely to simply change with the direction of the wind.)

    absolutely on point. WILLARD has no ‘ Plan B’

  52. 52.

    Suffern ACE

    February 9, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    Picture should have been taken with a Polaroid. Chicks dig that, or so I’ve been told.

  53. 53.

    jeffreyw

    February 9, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    We try to keep up with the latest tech…

  54. 54.

    Quaker in a Basement

    February 9, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Sleep in the car tonight, John. Take the dogs with you.

  55. 55.

    TaMara (BHF)

    February 9, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    That cat needs to be nuzzled. Now. In my bosom.

  56. 56.

    Bizono

    February 9, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    That’s one rotund kitteh!

  57. 57.

    HRA

    February 9, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    he he Tunch has a plan and there is nothing nice in it.

    I recommend a can of tuna before he enters the Cole Castle.

  58. 58.

    gex

    February 9, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    It’s Chairman Meow.

    I’ll chase myself out of this thread now.

  59. 59.

    gnomedad

    February 9, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    @eemom:

    I noticed there’s a picture of Tunch on every page except May. Why isn’t he on May??

    Well, no wonder he’s pissed.

  60. 60.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 9, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    @Bizono: He is not fat, he is floofy.

  61. 61.

    tBone

    February 9, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    Jesus Christ. That cat is one box of kitty treats away from having a reality TV crew bust down his bedroom wall and hoist him out with a crane.

  62. 62.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 9, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    He’s zaftig. Or zaaaaaaaffffffftig, if you will.

  63. 63.

    J. Michael Neal

    February 9, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    @HRA: I don’t think it will do Cole any good if his breath smells of tuna by the time Tunch finally gets in.

  64. 64.

    FormerSwingVoter

    February 9, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    That’s no moon. It’s a space station!

  65. 65.

    Carnacki

    February 9, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    I’m confused, is that a cat or a yeti?

  66. 66.

    Spaghetti Lee

    February 9, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    What’s this, the found-footage version of Cujo?

  67. 67.

    Michael

    February 9, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    PublicPolicyPolling @ppppolls
    We put a national poll in the field today and pretty clear your new leader is Rick Santorum.

    Oh my.

  68. 68.

    Carnacki

    February 9, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    @Raven: Raven for the win

  69. 69.

    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick

    February 9, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    tunch is so floofy he leaves footprints in concrete.

  70. 70.

    Felinious Wench

    February 9, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    You’re dead. Pity.

  71. 71.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 9, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    @cathyx:

    Post-Gay (sorry, that sounds like the cat went into therapy with Marcus Bachmann, and of course that’s not what I mean), my sister had a female cat named Dinah after Alice’s cat in Alice in Wonderland.

    Dinah’s first litter consisted of two kittens. We named them Jabberwocky and JubJub.

    The second litter was three kittens: Mimsey, Momerath, and Bandersnatch.

    The next litter was four kittens: Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.

    At that point I left home.

  72. 72.

    300baud

    February 9, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    I can’t look at that photo without hearing the Imperial March:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8&t=0m09s

  73. 73.

    gogol's wife

    February 9, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    @Wallis Lane:

    LOL. Those kids’ eyes always scared the hell out of me.

  74. 74.

    YellowJournalism

    February 9, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    My son: “Mom, is that a scary polar bear?”

  75. 75.

    Mnemosyne

    February 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    BTW, apparently a foam dart gun is the best toy EVAH! Charlotte got so mad that I wouldn’t fetch the darts for her after I shot them that she tackled Annie to take out her frustration.

  76. 76.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    February 9, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    @goethean:

    Why is it that you can see wooden planks right through his body?

    the large cat is sitting behind a glass window and the planks are a reflection.

  77. 77.

    hamletta

    February 9, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    @Wallis Lane: More like Kittens of the Damned!

    Even George Sanders won’t be able to save our Cole!

  78. 78.

    MacKenna

    February 9, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    Tunch looks like Mr. Creosote. Don’t offer him a dinner mint if you know what’s good for you.

  79. 79.

    J. Michael Neal

    February 9, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    the large cat is sitting behind a glass window and the planks are a reflection.

    Those planks are behind Tunch. His gravity well is bending the light around him.

  80. 80.

    greylocks

    February 9, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    I knew it. No way Rosie was the ringleader of this rebellion.

  81. 81.

    Gemina13

    February 9, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Tunch clearly Does Not Approve of this bullshit.

    He looks like a sweet, fluffy kitty though. :)

  82. 82.

    Citizen_X

    February 10, 2012 at 12:08 am

    The Fat Force is strong with that one.

    And no, the planks aren’t a “reflection,” foolish humans. It looks that way because Tunch can project his ghostly image anywhere. Even INTO YOUR DREAMS!

  83. 83.

    Violet

    February 10, 2012 at 12:09 am

    Can anyone photochop? He needs a Sta Puft hat and bib/tie.

  84. 84.

    scav

    February 10, 2012 at 12:21 am

    Four threads on and John still isn’t sleeping: and with good reason. I think we’ll all be up all night.

  85. 85.

    spudgun

    February 10, 2012 at 12:33 am

    Oh-my-goony-goo, I just laughed so hard I blew snot out of my nose! That’s hilarious!

  86. 86.

    Alison

    February 10, 2012 at 12:37 am

    Two words:

    Tunch. Tumblr.

    Get on it, Cole.

  87. 87.

    Thoughtcrime

    February 10, 2012 at 12:44 am

    It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Cat.

  88. 88.

    Catsy

    February 10, 2012 at 12:50 am

    @gex: There is a cartoonist by the name of B. Kliban who draws cats, silly-looking cats in all sorts of situations.

    One of the few that I remember to this day has two cats in it, both wearing jackets and one of them wearing what looks like a ChiCom ushanka. One cat remarks: “Mao (meow)”. The one with the hat is looking at what appears to be little black droppings on the ground, and says, “Mousie Dung.”

    Say it out loud.

    Can’t find a good image of it, but this is the strip on this shirt: mousie dung

  89. 89.

    Biscuits

    February 10, 2012 at 1:44 am

    Yes Master. His glare is strong. I just got up and opened the slider for no reason. I must now find my kitteh to cuddle.

  90. 90.

    Elizabelle

    February 10, 2012 at 6:44 am

    He ain’t chirping.

  91. 91.

    DanielX

    February 10, 2012 at 7:29 am

    @General Stuck:

    Kitty laser eyes of death…forget that sleeping in a bathtub full of water, Tunch the Merciless might shove in a live electrical appliance.

  92. 92.

    russell

    February 10, 2012 at 8:37 am

    check your shoes for the next couple of days.

  93. 93.

    Mino

    February 10, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Fake. Tunch is comfortably inside, looking out. Right???

  94. 94.

    ET

    February 10, 2012 at 9:26 am

    Dude – even without the glowing eyes you are getting the glare of death. I would be afraid.

  95. 95.

    harlana

    February 10, 2012 at 9:45 am

    well, by your subsequent posts, at least we know you survived to live another day, but at the time that photo was taken, i certainly would have had my doubts

  96. 96.

    FridayNext

    February 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

    That’s an evil look. But for angry kitty left out during dinner, nothing beats the image of Inga, a former cat at the Mount Washington Observatory being shut out into the “worst weather in the world.”

    She was fine, eventually.

  97. 97.

    Paul in KY

    February 10, 2012 at 9:49 am

    @MikeJ: I think he just ingested a meteor or a Toyota.

  98. 98.

    harlana

    February 10, 2012 at 9:50 am

    @Martin: my dear departed kitteh, who was a complete love, i named “Schmoo” because when she was a kitten she was wild as hell and it just seemed like all i could see were those big eyes during those brief intervals when she wasn’t ripping around the apartment! However, she ended up being the calmest and sweetest of the 3. Her proper name was “Chloe” but Schmoo stuck, the spelling is not proper i guess but that’s the story.

  99. 99.

    harlana

    February 10, 2012 at 9:52 am

    @Elizabelle: beat me to it, nope, he sure ain’t! :D

  100. 100.

    harlana

    February 10, 2012 at 9:53 am

    but then again, being big-boned makes you cranky, so i hear

  101. 101.

    harlana

    February 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

    the question being, do i wait to let him in and postpone my eventual death, or do i just go ahead and get it over with now?

  102. 102.

    harlana

    February 10, 2012 at 10:05 am

    unwilling to concede that he was in the wrong

    i think that is the genesis of the problem right there, because the being who is in the wrong in this scenario is John Cole for expecting a cat, especially of the Tunch-variety, to come when you call, instead of showing up when he damn well pleases, naturally expecting you to be waiting by the door to let him in stat, which, after all, you should be doing in the first place.

    let that be a lesson to you.

  103. 103.

    Mary

    February 10, 2012 at 10:25 am

    You let Tunch play outside? *shakes head*

  104. 104.

    JWeidner

    February 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Admiral Tunch, you may fire when ready.

  105. 105.

    third of two

    February 10, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I’ve never seen a Yeti up close before…

  106. 106.

    kc

    February 10, 2012 at 11:23 am

    That picture cracks me up.

  107. 107.

    asiangrrlMN

    February 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    TUNCHIE! Cole! You stop being mean to poor Tunchie. Tunch, if Cole doesn’t take good care of you – you can always come live with me.

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