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You are here: Home / Politics / Crazification Factor / The Onion as Real News, part 4,391; Update to Why We Fight

The Onion as Real News, part 4,391; Update to Why We Fight

by Soonergrunt|  February 13, 20123:19 pm| 93 Comments

This post is in: Crazification Factor, Open Threads, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement, Mainstream Media's McCain Mancrush, Our Failed Political Establishment

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Once again, The Onion has a story that might as well have come from an actual, real news source, if such had still existed in the US:

New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct

Some choice tidbits:

Though hopes for the captive breeding program remain high, many leading political conservationists note the number of optimal habitats for moderate, freethinking Republicans across the country has shrunk drastically, with studies showing the species may never again be able to recover in areas where it has been totally eradicated, such as the South and the GOP caucus in the House of Representatives.As they continue to search for nonextremist conservatives with the vaguest ability to compromise on social issues like abortion in cases of rape and incest, IPPM officials acknowledged they may be fighting a race against time.

“The most difficult task we have is preserving members of this disappearing breed before the desperate need for votes forces them to begin parroting borderline racist anti-immigration ideologies and accusing their opponents of being socialists,” tracker Phil Gandelman said. “We thought we had captured and tagged a truly exemplary specimen a few weeks ago, but when we studied the creature more closely, we realized it was just John McCain.”

So far, the subspecies Western Moderate-looking Republican (Homo Sapiens Huntsmanus) has not been seen in the wild recently, and may in fact be either extinct or in deep hiding in its native habitat in the Wasatch Mountain range.

 

Open thread

UPDATE–Again, thanks to Charles Johnson, who is truly doing yeoman’s work over at Little Green Footballs, we learn that Fox News has scrubbed the comments thread on Whitney Houston’s death in its entirety.   There was just too much sewage to clean it up.  They had to tear it down completely.  Shining a light on these “people” and getting them to scurry for the dark like roaches is one thing, but we need to make dealing with the far right wing as toxic as possible, and we do that  by exposing their words and their attitudes to the rest of the world.  For those that never read the original thread over at Fox, just suffice it to say that it was too embarrassing for the network that used to pay Falafel Bill O’Reilly.  It was too toxic for the network that questioned whether or not then-Senator Obama and his wife shared a ‘terrorist fist bump.‘

Our post and thread on the original Foxatrocity can be found here.

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Previous Post: « Fox News’s Liz Trotta on Sexual Assault in the Military: Men Get Rapey Sometimes. Get Over it!
Next Post: Afternoon Open Thread Involving People Named Chris »

Reader Interactions

93Comments

  1. 1.

    Citizen Alan

    February 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    My prediction is still that if Obama crushes the GOP in the Fall and (against all hope) retains the Senate and retakes the House, that Huntsman will make a big show of attacking GOP extremism before making a high profile switch to the Democrats just in time for 2016.

  2. 2.

    trollhattan

    February 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    The Onion–so funny sometimes I could cry. Speaking of which, when does the “Fact Zone” reappear? I need my Brooke Alvarez fix.

    Also, too, Republicans pre-blink on payroll tax break extension?

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/02/gop-drops-demand-for-offsetting-payroll-tax-cut.php

  3. 3.

    Chris

    February 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Last week we shot Gov. Mitch Daniels with a tranquilizer dart from a blind we’d set up near the Indiana Capitol, and we plan on mating him very soon with a senator we trapped up in Maine. While captive specimens tend to be wary around each other at first, once they sense they’re both opponents of labor unions yet also willing to make tough compromises on collective bargaining rights, the sexual ritual begins almost instantly.

    I’m sitting in the local Kinko’s trying not to howl with laughter.

  4. 4.

    Shinobi

    February 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    If only this would work. Fortunately the Democrats are still their own opposition party. I would really be interested in an ACTUAL conservative party, instead of this racist sexist monster we currently have. I don’t know why anyone still listens to a supposedly limited government party that convened a special session to keep a dead woman alive. But then again I also don’t defend athletes or musicians who beat women. So I guess I just don’t understand the importance of blind loyalty.

  5. 5.

    pragmatism

    February 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    love the picture the onion used.

  6. 6.

    The Other Chuck

    February 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    I think effective politics requires an opposition party. I’d like the Greens to be that party.

  7. 7.

    Linda Featheringill

    February 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Also, too, Republicans pre-blink on payroll tax break extension?

    I wonder if they are saving their resources for a battle in another area, say contraception.

  8. 8.

    Yevgraf

    February 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    When reading that, I kept mentally picturing Sally Struthers doing the quavering voiceover.

  9. 9.

    Chris

    February 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    @Shinobi:

    I would really be interested in an ACTUAL conservative party, instead of this racist sexist monster we currently have.

    Gotta run, but before I do, wanted to drop this question – what do you mean by “an ACTUAL conservative party”?

  10. 10.

    Shinobi

    February 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    @Chris: One focused on limiting regulation and government waste and ensuring personal freedoms. Perhaps even some smart attempts to shrink the size of the government that don’t involve wholesale cutting of programs that actually help people. Growing up in a republican household this is what I THOUGHT being a republican was.

    Not that it is material in any way since it seems most of our politicians have been sold to the highest bidder.

  11. 11.

    Spaghetti Lee

    February 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    In a sane world, the rightmost half of the Democrats and a few scattered Republicans would be a fine ‘conservative’ party, and the Republicans we actually have would be relegated to the obscurity and shame they deserve.

  12. 12.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Last week we shot Gov. Mitch Daniels with a tranquilizer dart from a blind we’d set up near the Indiana Capitol, and we plan on mating him very soon with a senator we trapped up in Maine.

    Doesn’t that just make a Christie Todd Whitman or a Chris Shays? As impotent as mules and not nearly as useful.

  13. 13.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    @Shinobi:

    One focused on limiting regulation and government waste and ensuring personal freedoms. Perhaps even some smart attempts to shrink the size of the government that don’t involve wholesale cutting of programs that actually help people.

    Needs to be more than that. It’s not like Democrats believe in excess regulation, government waste, and denying personal freedoms. And they believe in smart attempts to shrink the size of the government.

    So from your definition, I think the Democrats are that party, and always have been. I think you need to reach down to something much more fundamental about how those decisions ought to be achieved.

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    February 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    There must be a man-on-dog or contraception joke in here somewhere.

  15. 15.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I was wondering how Mitch Daniels held onto that moderate label. I had to check the byline to make sure the piece wasn’t from 2010.

  16. 16.

    MariedeGournay

    February 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    @Shinobi: T’was the small town Republicans I knew when I was a reporter in CT. When I asked them about the national party they grimaced and moved on to talking about an open space grant or noise ordinance. Hell, when I asked one selectman about gay marriage his only concern was if the necessary changes to tax, medical, and inheritance law wouldn’t be screwed up by “the dumbasses in congress”. I came to realize for them ‘big government’ was more about fixing unnecessary paper work and user unfriendly rules.

  17. 17.

    Rafer Janders

    February 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    @Shinobi:

    One focused on limiting regulation and government waste and ensuring personal freedoms. Perhaps even some smart attempts to shrink the size of the government that don’t involve wholesale cutting of programs that actually help people.

    Oh, dear child, that has nothing to do with conservatism in any intrinsic sense. Conservatism is, and always has been, the defense of the status quo. Conservatives don’t give a fig for “limiting regulation” or “government waste” or “personal freedoms” as such, except as convenient memes to attack liberals — for proof, you only need to look at what conservatives do when they actually get into power. It’s all about helping the rich get richer and keeping everyone else down.

  18. 18.

    DanielX

    February 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    So far, the subspecies Western Moderate-looking Republican (Homo Sapiens Huntsmanus) has not been seen in the wild recently, and may in fact be either extinct or in deep hiding in its native habitat in the Wasatch Mountain range.

    Wasatch Moun-what? Dude, the Wasatch Mountains are in Utah. Moderate Republicans sure aren’t native to that area, I can tell you. Were you maybe thinking of the Adirondacks? I’ve heard tell a few of them have been spotted there over the years.

  19. 19.

    dmsilev

    February 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    I hate to tell the team of expert ecologists their business, but perhaps a program of trap-neuter-release on extreme conservatives would be helpful as well?

  20. 20.

    Rafer Janders

    February 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    @Shinobi:

    One focused on limiting regulation and government waste and ensuring personal freedoms. Perhaps even some smart attempts to shrink the size of the government that don’t involve wholesale cutting of programs that actually help people.

    So, in other words, we need the Democratic Party as it currently exists under President Barack Obama…as a conservative opposition to the Democratic Party as it currently exists under President Barack Obama.

  21. 21.

    Cat Lady

    February 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @The Other Chuck:

    If Obama were REALLY adept at this 11th dimensional chess thing, the Republicans will die out the next election because of their neo-medieval policies being overwhelmingly repudiated, while global warming becomes THE issue for 2016, and Obama will leave science moles in the bureaucracy like Bush left “voter fraud” moles, since there is no Green Party.

  22. 22.

    Sargent Pepper's Spray

    February 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    “We thought we had captured and tagged a truly exemplary specimen a few weeks ago, but when we studied the creature more closely, we realized it was just John McCain.” Classic FTW!

  23. 23.

    Suffern ACE

    February 13, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    @Shinobi: Yeah. That’s the Democratic party that you’re describing. Perhaps what you want is for the Republican Party to be replaced by the Socialist Workers Party so that it is clearer which party is conservative.

  24. 24.

    balconesfault

    February 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    Any discussion has to accept the reality of the 27%ers … and how profound an impact they’ve had on the party. Since they make up the majority of the GOP, and since they view any reference to Democrats that doesn’t contain references to soziallism, Sharia Law, surrender-monkeyism, or Saul Alinski as RINO-speak, it has created an environment where evolution will consistently move politicians rightward.

    And since the pro-corporate tax-cutters can’t win without the 27%ers, they’re in the catbird seat.

  25. 25.

    cmorenc

    February 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    @Soonergrunt:

    So far, the subspecies Western Moderate-looking Republican (Homo Sapiens Huntsmanus) has not been seen in the wild recently, and may in fact be either extinct or in deep hiding in its native habitat in the Wasatch Mountain range.

    I just returned from spending eight days in Salt Lake City, visiting my adult daughter and doing some skiing at Alta. Because Utah as a whole is still dominated by deeply conservative Mormons and Republicans, many people who have never visited Salt Lake City don’t realize the extent to which it’s a blue-leaning somewhat progressive oasis with a Democratic mayor, and a rather fun place to visit with great restaurants and frankly much better skiing than Colorado. The Salt Lake Metro area not only has an excellent light-rail system and bus system (you can take a bus from the heart of downtown SLC to the skiing mecca of Alta and get dropped off within 500 feet of the lifts in under an hour). Nor has the extension of the light rail system stalled with GOP congressional obstructionism to non-highway transportation spending and rail improvements elsewhere. North Temple Street is currently a torn-up mess due to rapid construction of the light rail line from downtown out to the Salt Lake City airport.

    It’s weird, but my take on Utah Republicans is that although they are still outright Neandrethal-ish in their attitudes toward social issues and to some extent environmental issues, nevertheless on local metro enviro issues they aren’t nearly so deeply narrow-minded all things progressively environmental as the GOP seems elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong here: in the still-dominant outlying areas of Utah, and even many SLC suburban areas there’s still Neandrethal-level anti-environmentalism take back the land from the feds (and let resource extractors have at it) running rampant, and extreme forms of tea party-ism are pervasive.

    However, back to the main point: in the Salt Lake City area itself, it’s not as surprising as it may seem that an overall still very conservative Republican like Huntsman can also exhibit many moderate and even outright progressive tendencies in many area.

  26. 26.

    dmbeaster

    February 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Complicating any anti-extinction effort has been the increased tendency of fratricide due to fighting with the Gingrich Republican sub-species, similar to the risk of extinction facing Tasmanian Devils since they have a bad habit of spreading a killer cancer by biting each other in the face while fighting over food.

    Attempts to revive the species by hybridizing it with the Reagan sub-species has proved ineffective since the new rabid Gingrich species just as readily bites it in the face.

  27. 27.

    Zifnab

    February 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    So far, the subspecies Western Moderate-looking Republican (Homo Sapiens Huntsmanus) has not been seen in the wild recently, and may in fact be either extinct or in deep hiding in its native habitat in the Wasatch Mountain range back on his old paper route, raising the couple million bucks to pay back the money his SuperPAC borrowed from his dad.

    I would also have accepted, “Sleeping in the basement after binging out on Fresca, Cheesey-poofs, and old Ronald Reagan movies.”

  28. 28.

    Linda Featheringill

    February 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    As impotent as mules and not nearly as useful.

    Actually, mules can get it on. They just aren’t fertile.

  29. 29.

    Raven

    February 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    @Zifnab: what’s wrong wit fresca?

  30. 30.

    Shinobi

    February 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    @Rafer Janders: Right, yes. Exactly my point. I would like there to actually be some conservatives who actually did the things that they say they are going to do.

    I also agree that we could probably split the dems in half and have a conservative and a liberal party. At this point the right has moved so far right, it is ridiculous.

    I just think it is important that we continue to have disagreements in congress. I wish that those disagreements could be conducted in a reasonable adult manner over actually relevant topics.

    I also wish that ponies and vampires were real and that there was really a giant flying spaghetti monster in the sky.

  31. 31.

    trollhattan

    February 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    @cmorenc:

    My lingering SLC memory: “Why aren’t I feeling this beer?!”

  32. 32.

    DanielX

    February 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    @Martin:

    Yeah, it’s been evident here that Mitch (lying slimy little shit that he is) shed his “moderate” skin as soon as he decided not to run for preznit. Got right back to the good stuff like right-to-work, etc etc, straight out of the Scott Walker/Rick Scott/Mitch Daniels playbook. He’s openly speculating about a Republican Cabinet position – Secretary of Labor, maybe? I’m not sure he could get confirmed even if Mittens won, his crazy quotient isn’t high enough. But if that doesn’t work out, he can always go back to a sinecure at Eli Lilly, or, or…I’ve got it! He could go to work with Evan Bayh lobbying for the US Chamber of Commerce, maybe with a Faux News gig on the side!

    Just a couple good ol’ boys, never meanin’ no harm…God save us from conservative pols who don’t have to worry about being re-elected.

  33. 33.

    Rafer Janders

    February 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    @Shinobi:

    I also wish that ponies and vampires were real and that there was really a giant flying spaghetti monster in the sky.

    You say there’s not? Heretic! May you be strained through a colander until you renounce those words.

  34. 34.

    jwest

    February 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    “Jon Huntsman, Governor of Utah, is a cull. Do you know what a cull is, ma’am? A cull is a specimen that is so worthless that you have to cut him out of the herd. Now, if all the people in the world were put in one herd, Huntsman is the one I would throw a rope at.”

    Paraphrased from George Washington Mclintock.

  35. 35.

    FormerSwingVoter

    February 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Also, too, Republicans pre-blink on payroll tax break extension?

    Not quite – the Doc Fix is a must-pass as well, but isn’t included. This could be a very clever move by Republicans, allowing them to pass the payroll tax cut and then tear up Dems for blowing up the budget when they’re forced to pass the doc fix with no Republican support.

    From a political perspective, this is bad, as it leaves the doc fix up in the air. But from an economic standpoint, it looks like the payroll tax cut extension will go through and help keep the recovery chugging along.

  36. 36.

    Gary

    February 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Typically great Onion treatment of a serious topic.

    I view the decline of sane Republicans (which overlaps with the death of moderate Republicans) to be a great threat to our democracy. It’s scary to always be one election away from having the inmates take over the asylum.

    Those of you who are interested in this issue might want to check out “Rule and Ruin: The Downfall of Moderation and the Destruction of the Republican Party, From Eisenhower to the Tea Party (Studies in Postwar American Political Development).” I haven’t read it yet (still on on the wish list), but it looks pretty interesting. Hopefully the book will have shorter sentences than the title. Anybody here familiar with it?

  37. 37.

    Soonergrunt

    February 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    @DanielX: You are aware, are you not, that Jon Huntsman positioned himself, with the acquiescence of the press corpse (intentional) as The Rational Conservative/The Moderate Republican are you not?

  38. 38.

    cathyx

    February 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I just think republicans should stop breeding all together.

  39. 39.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    From a political perspective, this is bad, as it leaves the doc fix up in the air. But from an economic standpoint, it looks like the payroll tax cut extension will go through and help keep the recovery chugging along.

    That’s my sense as well. I’m not convinced of the payroll tax as economic stimulus. It’s on the employee side, so it doesn’t reduce the cost of hiring. It puts a few more bucks into consumer spending, which helps, but jobs are what’s needed. I think it really was more a ploy by Obama and the Dems to put the GOP in a bind (which has worked wonders, I must say). The doc fix is pretty key, though. There was some softening to the idea of using Iraq funding to pay for it permanently by more members of the GOP, so this may not necessarily kill that. I think even the GOP realizes that this is a big problem and they’re not going to want a bunch of Florida voters to come back complaining that their doctor no longer bills Medicare.

    But the politics of the deficit seem to have died way down. That simply may not be a fight the GOP feels compelled to fight for now, particularly with Europe looking a little tipsy and voters seeming to buy more and more into the notion that the GOPs intransigence is what’s fucking everything up.

  40. 40.

    Linda Featheringill

    February 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Slightly OT but cute nevertheless:

    Comment from RedState about the poor slate of Republican candidates,

    You have to give Romney credit . . .

    [wait for it]

    . . . because he has a good fico score.

    Too humorous from a conservative. Must be a troll.

  41. 41.

    Benjamin Franklin

    February 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    “press corpse (intentional) ”

    [sic]– fify

  42. 42.

    wrb

    February 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    From a political perspective, this is bad, as it leaves the doc fix up in the air.

    Docs don’t deserve a pay cut? The doc fix shouldn’t have passed the first time, let alone repeatedly.

  43. 43.

    jwest

    February 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    @cathyx:

    That would mean that women married to liberals would be stuck with having sex with their husbands. I’m certain that wouldn’t stand very long.

  44. 44.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    February 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Gosh that’s funny, that headline sounds awfully familiar . . .

  45. 45.

    Howlin Wolfe

    February 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Modern conservative movement are the killer bees of American politics.

  46. 46.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    @wrb:

    Docs don’t deserve a pay cut? The doc fix shouldn’t have passed the first time, let alone repeatedly.

    They do, but not like this. There are parts of Medicare that really are pretty stingy with payment and shouldn’t have this much of a cut forced on them and other places that are insanely generous and should be cut more. Rather than a baseline cut, they need to fix the variation instead. IPAB kicks in at the end of this year and would hopefully fix this properly.

  47. 47.

    harlana

    February 13, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    i laughed so much i got the cat all outta sorts

  48. 48.

    Cassidy

    February 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Since it’s an open thread…

    Started P90X. I thought I was in pretty good shape and just got smoked today. Too bad we don’t have BJ Fitness Club threads to share this stuff in. ;)

  49. 49.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    Andrew Sullivan weighs in on the latest controversy regarding the Bishops and their obsession with the sex lives of others.

  50. 50.

    harlana

    February 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    @jwest: Callista: the real trick is having sex with other people’s husbands.

  51. 51.

    trollhattan

    February 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I see what you’re trying to do there. :-P Nah gah get offa boat.

  52. 52.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    @trollhattan: Actually its not that bad, he makes sense here, for once.

  53. 53.

    burnspbesq

    February 13, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    I could live with the doc fix not getting done. The way we overcompensate medical professionals in this country is a big part of why we pay so much for health care. Let them be paid fairly by global standards. What are they going to do? Go Galt?

  54. 54.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Actually its not that bad, he makes sense here, for once.

    I’d argue that surely Sully has made sense at least one time before. Even by accident, I’d think he’d have had to.

  55. 55.

    jwest

    February 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Sullivan is right.

    Those Catholics and all the other religious people should just get on a boat, go somewhere else and start a country where they can have a government that is prohibited from interfering in their freedom of religion.

    If all this was so important to them, why didn’t they write down the rules in some sort of document right from the start?

  56. 56.

    burnspbesq

    February 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Meanwhile, the New Jersey Senate passed a gay marriage bill. Let’s see if Christie makes good on his veto threat.

  57. 57.

    Maus

    February 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    its not that bad, he makes sense here, for once.

    why not just post links to people that make sense, always

  58. 58.

    David Koch

    February 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    @burnspbesq: of course he’ll veto it. he’s running for president, for pete’s sake.

  59. 59.

    FormerSwingVoter

    February 13, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Let them be paid fairly by global standards. What are they going to do? Go Galt?

    They’re pretty likely to stop accepting Medicare beneficiaries. Which would look really, really bad in an election year.

    Now, once the Republicans are off the hook for voting against a tax cut, do you see any reason for them to approve the doc fix?

  60. 60.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    @Martin:
    Yes he has made sense n times where n > 1, but unfortunately there are m other times when he is completely obtuse and
    m > n. See for example, his posts, on how austerity in the UK is so wonderful because the British are stoic unlike those whiny Greeks.

  61. 61.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    @Maus: That’s a high bar on the intertoobz. I posted the link to Sullivan because I had complained yesterday, that he had nothing on this issue on his blog, so I was just trying to give credit where credit was due.

  62. 62.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    See for example, his posts, on how austerity in the UK is so wonderful because the British are stoic unlike those whiny Greeks.

    Well, he’s right there. Have you ever seen people rioting in London and burning down flats at random? And no, you can’t make me look.

  63. 63.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    @Martin: Weren’t there riots in Liverpool or Birmingham and even London last year over the proposed cuts? British may be stoic but austerity in the middle of a Depression/Recession makes no macroeconomic sense. Period.

  64. 64.

    trollhattan

    February 13, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    @Martin:

    Cue: DougJ with Clash title. I’ll suggest “Guns of Brixton.”

  65. 65.

    Bubblegum Tate

    February 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    RE: The update–

    I’m sure that massive outpouring of racism was just “liberal plants.”

    Or, to quote a wingnut blog commenter, the real racists are black people who thought Whitney Houston’s music was “too white.”

  66. 66.

    wrb

    February 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    Now, once the Republicans are off the hook for voting against a tax cut, do you see any reason for them to approve the doc fix?

    The docs are Republicans, members of the .1%, and want their damn socia1ist check.

  67. 67.

    gex

    February 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    It’s all unicorns. The “moderate” republicans were the ones who invited in the Birchers and the Godbotherers. I suppose we could pretend they are still moderate, even though they keep passing anti-gay and anti-woman laws. I’m talking the last 30 years, not just now.

    No such thing as being moderately narcissistic. If everything is all about you and your stuff is more important than not oppressing your fellow citizens, you aren’t moderate.

  68. 68.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Weren’t there riots in Liverpool or Birmingham and even London last year over the proposed cuts?

    Can’t make me look! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! Greeks are lazy entitled liberals and Brits are calm and will carry on! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

  69. 69.

    Amir Khalid

    February 13, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    @David Koch:
    @burnspbesq:
    Not to make fun of obesity, but I doubt Chris Christie is planning a run in 2016. I think he’s going to veto that gay marriage bill; he’s already said he will, and anyway he’s enough of a dick to do it just because. As I understand, his dickishness means he’s not universally popular in New Jersey right now. If he isn’t reelected governor in the meantime, he might not feel then that he could win the popular support for a credible run for president.

  70. 70.

    Brachiator

    February 13, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    WTF. Real News Crazier than The Onion

    Justice Breyer robbed at West Indies vacation home
    __
    Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed last week by a machete wielding intruder at his vacation home in the West Indies, a Supreme Court spokeswoman said Monday.
    __
    The 73-year-old Breyer, wife Joanna and guests were confronted by the robber around 9 p.m. EST Thursday in the home Breyer owns on the Caribbean island of Nevis, spokeswoman Kathy Arberg said. The intruder took about $1,000 in cash and no one was hurt, Arberg said.
    __
    She said the robbery was reported to local authorities, but she did not know if an arrest has been made.

  71. 71.

    Mino

    February 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Onion headline quote from Greek billionaire: We worry that the government we bought and installed is corrupt and spending unwisely all the tax monies we never paid.

  72. 72.

    gex

    February 13, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    @Rafer Janders: Sounds like someone’s bought into the right wing frame. Democrats love unnecessary regulation, unnecessary government, and unencumbered control of our personal freedoms. Rush told me. We need a conservative party to counter that is what that poster is saying.

  73. 73.

    slag

    February 13, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    @trollhattan: Where is DougJ? Has he gone Galt or have I just missed his posts today?

  74. 74.

    DanielX

    February 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    @Soonergrunt:

    Certainly. But consider with whom you’re comparing either Huntsman or Daniels. By comparison with any of the current clown car occupants, either of them look like paragons of moderation and civility. (Yeah, I know, it’s not a very high bar.) Which is why neither ever had a prayer of achieving the nomination.

    Their Man Mitch was smart enough to recognize this up front; also smart enough to know that when his wife and four daughters were united in their opposition to a presidential run it would be…prudent to drop the idea. So he dropped out no matter how many bitter tears fell from David Brooks’ eyes. ‘Sides, the way I hear it here in da great Hoosier heartland, he really didn’t want to have to deal with all those unpleasant questions about what the fuck he was thinking when he was W’s budget director. You know, when we had two wars, cut taxes, added to Medicare and the deficit took the E train to fucking Jupiter.

    Huntsman had to be shown that the base didn’t think he was crazy enough, so he participated in a few debates and primaries and was shown. By the time this is over, Mittens will have to show his conservative credentials by microwaving live puppies or something similar.

    Moderate Republicans, my ass. I don’t know when people will get it through their heads that there are no moderate Republicans any more. A vote for a Republican at this point is a vote for ignorance, bigotry, corruption and the continued screwing of the middle class.

  75. 75.

    trollhattan

    February 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    @slag:

    Excellent question. Did he and/or his bwaaaain survive yesterday’s Juiceathon?

  76. 76.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 13, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I think for the reasons you suggest, Christie is counting on the boost of a Veep ship to put him on deck for the presidency. I don’t see it. The Moderate MA Mormon can’t run with the obnoxious, moderate-curious and very Yankee governor of the New Jersey. Christie is going to be the Republican Evan Bayh, perennially hoping to be boosted up to the big leagues, constantly disappointed.

    @trollhattan: Panic in the streets of Carlisle….

  77. 77.

    Zifnab

    February 13, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    @Raven: I didn’t think Mormons were allowed to drink anything harder than that.

  78. 78.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Foster Friess just now on Hardball: People are being captivated by the charisma of Rick Santorum. Proving once again that you can find a way to make a billion dollars even if you’re goofy.

  79. 79.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    @Martin: Its ok, you know you want to…

  80. 80.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Charisma and Santorum do not belong in the same sentence.

  81. 81.

    Rafer Janders

    February 13, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    @Martin:

    I’m not convinced of the payroll tax as economic stimulus. It’s on the employee side, so it doesn’t reduce the cost of hiring. It puts a few more bucks into consumer spending, which helps, but jobs are what’s needed.

    You know one way jobs are created? People have more money in their paycheck, they spend that money on goods and services, companies hire more people to produce those goods and services.

  82. 82.

    Rafer Janders

    February 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    @Martin:

    I’m sure it has nothing, nothing at all to do with the fact that Britain isn’t tied to the euro while Greece is.

  83. 83.

    Martin

    February 13, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    @Rafer Janders: So what you’re saying is that tax cuts are the most effective way to stimulate the economy? Hmm. Where have I heard that before…

  84. 84.

    Amir Khalid

    February 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:
    Agreed. Unless he can help carry enough states, which seems unlikely for a governor not widely (heh) liked in his home state, Christie’s not a likely Veep choice. I don’t see anyone from the clown car as a credible Veep candidate either, so I think Republican nominee Mr Frothy (shudder) will be going with a surprise VP choice, maybe someone of like mind. That should work out roughly as well as in 2008.

  85. 85.

    Rafer Janders

    February 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    @Martin:

    No, I’m obviously not saying that, and no fair reading of what I wrote could lead you to that conclusion. (See, e.g. my phrasing “one way jobs are created” — one way meaning that there are also others).

    What I am saying, simply, is that when people in some economic distress have their taxes cut and consequently have more money in their paychecks, they’re more likely to spend that immediately rather than save it, and thus inject more liquidity and more demand into the economy.

  86. 86.

    Provider_UNE

    February 13, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Again, thanks to Charles Johnson, who is truly doing yeoman’s work over at Little Green Footballs

    Words I never thought I’d see on a leftish leaning blog. I am glad that Chaz Johnson has finally seen the light of day, but am loathe to embrace what was once one of the most virulent hives of scum, villiany and bigotry on the intertrons.

    He’s got a long way to go before he makes up for his past life as far as I am concerned. I used to spend a bit of time over there to keep a finger on the pulse of hatred and still cringe when I see that damn logo. Rachel Corrie honored with Pancake day was about par for the course.

    Yeah it’s gonna take me a while…
    .

  87. 87.

    Brachiator

    February 13, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    @Martin:

    So what you’re saying is that tax cuts are the most effective way to stimulate the economy?

    Tax cuts for the middle class help, especially in a down economy. The payroll tax cut also reduces taxes for self employed people. There are already a boatload of credits for businesses, many of which have helped, but still not jump started the economy (e.g., generous bonus depreciation, net operating loss rules, etc).

    On the other hand, a lot of stuff coming from both the left and the right, have already been tried, and are not consistently working (e.g., conservative backed austerity programs).

    We’re doomed. Maybe.

  88. 88.

    Soonergrunt

    February 13, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    @Provider_UNE: Every journey, regardless of the destination, begins with a single step.

  89. 89.

    Chris

    February 13, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    @Shinobi:

    I would like there to actually be some conservatives who actually did the things that they say they are going to do. I also agree that we could probably split the dems in half and have a conservative and a liberal party. At this point the right has moved so far right, it is ridiculous.

    LBJ once said that if America was Europe, the Democrats would be five different parties. There was a snarkier quote I heard a lot after Obama’s election and the GOP going completely batshit: “let’s have two parties, the Democrats and a left-wing party.”

    Those are the two quotes that come to mind at the moment. The point is that you could write the entire Republican Party out of the equation right now and still have more than enough honest debate, dissent and disagreement for a healthy political system.

    Much healthier, in fact, because you could actually start debating and disagreeing about real things without having every conversation in politics blocked up with horseshit about death panels, birth certificates, Ground Zero Mosques, trickle-down economics, Austrian economics, whether global warming and evolution are real or a Vast Liberal Conspiracy, and how to solve the deficit and simultaneously never raise taxes.

  90. 90.

    Argive

    February 13, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    Pity the poor intern who had to remove 800+ comments from that thread prior to its deletion.

  91. 91.

    Jimbo316

    February 13, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    @dmsilev: Agreed, much more effective. The breeding program is just going to result in serious recessive combinations that result in true monsters and even more zombies than we already have.

  92. 92.

    Provider_UNE

    February 14, 2012 at 2:49 am

    Every journey, regardless of the destination, begins with a single step.

    Sooner Grunt, I feel you, and thus I begin mine.

    /tips hat
    ,

  93. 93.

    John M. Burt

    February 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    @Chris: Re “the Democrats and a left-wing party”: I think that’s the best hope for this country.

    As soon as I am convinced that the Repub party is dead, I will be jumping ship to the Pacific Greens or Working Families or something.

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