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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Valentine’s Day Open Thread

Valentine’s Day Open Thread

by @heymistermix.com|  February 14, 201210:04 am| 35 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Here’s a love song for Valentine’s Day. Remember this key piece of advice [nsfw] if you’re going out.

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Previous Post: « Goldwatering All Over Himself
Next Post: Testing America’s Patience »

Reader Interactions

35Comments

  1. 1.

    Schlemizel

    February 14, 2012 at 10:12 am

    You might want to label NSFW on that bad boy.

    Its hilarious and too true.

  2. 2.

    Raven

    February 14, 2012 at 10:13 am

    here’s the Valentine I gave my bride

    Tonight I make my famous heart shaped sauteed polenta in red sauce!

  3. 3.

    BrYanS

    February 14, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Here’s what the crazy Republicans are upto in Wake County, NC

    http://www.newsobserver.com/2012/02/14/1853586/wake-study-stirs-one-world-debate.html

    Sustainable Growth = One World Government

  4. 4.

    harlana

    February 14, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Bestest Love Song Ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ga9Bs4fzSY

  5. 5.

    mistermix

    February 14, 2012 at 10:17 am

    @Schlemizel: OK, but this whole blog is NSFW if your work is tight-assed.

  6. 6.

    Mnemosyne

    February 14, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I gave G his Valentine’s Day present, so now I have to get dressed and go buy a few more food items for our Valentine’s Day/February Birthdays celebrations at work.

    This is going into the crockpot for tonight’s dinner while we watch Unfaithfully Yours.

    “Wear the purple one … with the plumes at the hips.”

  7. 7.

    WaterGirl

    February 14, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Send Scott Walker a breakup card for valentine’s day:

    Dear Scott,
    __
    There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it.
    __
    This isn’t working. It’s time for us to see other people.
    __
    I wish I could say that it was me, not you, but we both know that isn’t true. It’s you.
    __
    When we first got together, part of me really had reservations, but the other part was so hopeful about what we could become together. But then you did it – you know what you did.
    __
    When you dropped that bomb on me a year ago, it changed the way I thought of you. You never told me that’s what you were planning. We never talked about that. Ever. If you had told me the truth, I doubt we ever would have gotten together in the first place. It made me wonder if I could ever trust you again.
    __
    And when I told you how I was hurting, and how your betrayal rocked me to the core, what did you do? You kept lying. You said it was my fault. That what I wanted – a great education for my kids, affordable healthcare for the people I care about, and to see my friends and neighbors work family-sustaining jobs where they are treated with respect and dignity – was too much. An “entitlement.” Well maybe you just think I’m high-maintenance, but I don’t think those things are too much to ask for.
    __
    You have destroyed so much of what I love and who I am. But I’m not sad anymore. I’m excited for a change and I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to be with someone who cares about me. Someone who won’t try to change me into something I’m not. You tried to change me, but I’m not Mississippi – I won’t accept substandard healthcare and education. And I’m not Louisiana – “right to work” for less doesn’t fit with my values.
    __
    So I think its best that we cut our losses and both move on. I don’t know exactly what my future holds, but I know I just don’t see you in it anymore. You might be a disgrace in my eyes, but you’ll land on your feet. You have plenty of rich friends for whom you’ve done a TON of favors. Someone will take care of you.
    __
    And speaking of your friends, that’s another thing I just can’t handle. How could you think I’d be okay with inviting people who steal from the families of veterans, commit sex crimes against children and criminally misuse public office into my home?
    __
    But really, all of this just brings me back to your terrible judgment and dishonesty. I need someone who listens to me, is honest with me and wants to see me be the best I can be. Someone who will cherish the values and institutions I hold so dear. Because you clearly aren’t that person.
    __
    Love,
    __
    Wisconsin

  8. 8.

    R-Jud

    February 14, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I’m just looking forward to tomorrow, when all the Champagne goes on sale.

  9. 9.

    Amir Khalid

    February 14, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Alas, for I have but one good Valentine’s Day story. But I already told it in ABL’s thread last year.

    As it does every year, the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party’s youth wing has revved up its annual war on Valentine’s Day because — well, what else would you expect, they’re just a bunch of wowsers.

  10. 10.

    BGK

    February 14, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Small bit of TL-DR self-pity, but if I don’t vent the steam, as it were, I might have a stroke.

    I was recently given an office, so I have privacy and relative quiet when I need it. In the cubicle closest to the door sits our desktop support person, who has a maturity age of about 14 (real age 44). He’s provided the seed crystal to turn the other “boys” in his row into simian grunters who make “Joe Dirt” jokes all day. This fellow has a live-in girlfriend whom I’ve met at functions two or three times. She seems smart (insofar as I could tell), self-possessed, and is relatively mature. He gets “schmoopy” with her multiple times a day on the phone; given the quiet and lack of privacy, everyone hears it (and yes, it does set up a feedback loop with the other Real Men of Genius; he’s thoroughly un-embarrass-able). Today, he’ll be laying it on extra thick. He’s also a loudmouth, so closing my door won’t screen him out well enough for my feline hearing. My boss (also his) can tune himself out, so he’s not inclined to do anything. This will make much of the day like crawling across broken glass, for various reasons. I fear I might snap and beat him senseless with the bat we keep, for reasons long-forgotten, in our storage closet.

    I should’ve brought Angus to work with me today.

  11. 11.

    bergman

    February 14, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Is that Chunky Girl song for Douchehat?

  12. 12.

    Bago

    February 14, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Happy Mass Effect 3 demo day!

  13. 13.

    El Cid

    February 14, 2012 at 11:13 am

    The Republican economic model is pretty well established by now, particularly given that they were entirely in charge as recently as 2006 heading all 3 branches of gubmit.

    You grab all the loot as quickly as you can, you cut the taxes for all your rich peers and benefactors, you lard up the deficit to fuck up any sort of gubmit program you don’t like, and you keep yelling as long as you can how it’s all working great.

    What in the world has changed to suggest to people the “grab all the loot and fuck over the people we hate” economic model of the Republicans no longer applies?

    It’s what they’re doing in any state they can. It’s what they propose any time they talk about their ‘legislative agenda’.

    My god, that’s what they have done every time they’re near power. I’m pretty sure that this, together with the fact that this is what they’re telling us they would do, is good evidence that, well, they’re likely to do what they’ve told us they would do and what they have done every time they have the chance.

  14. 14.

    Origuy

    February 14, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Shel Silverstein and Dr. Hook has some more advice for lovers.

  15. 15.

    Amir Khalid

    February 14, 2012 at 11:37 am

    @efgoldman:
    Yeah, “schmoopy”. That’s when you and your significant other talk to each other like an indulgent parent addressing a toddler. It’s revoltingly icky-sweet and guaranteed to make people in the vicinity gag.

  16. 16.

    WyldPirate

    February 14, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Valentine Day sucks and I blame Obama for its suckitude.

  17. 17.

    El Cid

    February 14, 2012 at 11:40 am

    @El Cid: Oops. Wrong thread.

  18. 18.

    Suffern ACE

    February 14, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    What happened to the valentines controversy from last year, where anybody who wanted to feel romantic was accused of being a first order lunatic? I think we had better trolls then.

  19. 19.

    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick

    February 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    if horror movies are shown on halloween, why aren’t pr/0n marathons shown on valentines day?

    another question, shouldn’t prostate cancer research have some big marketing push today, digital/rectal exam awareness or something?

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    @Suffern ACE:

    Well, the GOP Presidential Klown Kar has happened, and mere mushy lunacy has been downgraded to order five or six, tops.

  21. 21.

    Svensker

    February 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    This is going into the crockpot for tonight’s dinner while we watch Unfaithfully Yours. “Wear the purple one … with the plumes at the hips.”

    Oh golly, best movie ever. Sometimes I laugh so hard while he’s doing the recording device thing that I get facial muscle spasms.

    Enjoy!

  22. 22.

    trollhattan

    February 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Note in passing: Can’t get to the Levenson thread comments due to net nanny filtering for “firearms.” But I got in here.

  23. 23.

    Svensker

    February 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    @El Cid: Still works for me.

  24. 24.

    scav

    February 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Good GSD, it’s an international plague. Gonna need more bats in closets. Here’s what I got for VDay: “tergiversation”. I’d offered ramify (as a verb) and arrogate earlier. So there, have a bouquet.

  25. 25.

    RL

    February 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    This is more of my kind of VD song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keO6yo253XY&feature=youtu.be

  26. 26.

    Zam

    February 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Yea late reservations… Just what I want to do on what was a day off for me. Stay extra late and wait on your pathetic asses.

  27. 27.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    February 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Hey folks, I’m looking for a news story or wingnut email about Bobby Brown wanting his and Whitney’s daughter Bobbi Kristina to move in with his family. I think it contains the following italicized text:

    (Bobby Brown) want’s custody of his and Whitney’s daughter.

    “to give her a good home”

    My god …..!!!!

    that’s frigging mind boggling…..

    I have a wingnut in my family who claims to have read a news story on the internet about Bobby Brown and his daughter but I suspect he cut and pasted from a mass right-wing email. A little help figuring where it came from would be great.

  28. 28.

    Schlemizel

    February 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    @BGK:
    I worked across the row from this guy when his wife left him. He would have ragegasms on the phone with her. He followed her home one night when she picked a guy up at a bar. He loudly and graphically detailed what he saw them doing. This happened more than once. HE also was fond of describing his girlfriends habits to her. It was a joyous experience for all of us. We gave up dropping hints and begged him to stop but nothing worked.

  29. 29.

    The Bobs

    February 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Over at Hullabaloo, David Atkins is upset because, gosh darn it, Obama just isn’t angry enough.

    Fuck him, fuck Digby and their blog’s relentless Obama bashing.

    There is plenty of legitimate criticism of Obama. I am personally very disappointed in his economic decisions and statements for example. But criticizing him for not being enough of an attack dog for you? That ridiculous and unfair.

    BTW, have they noticed how the Republican party has been self destructing lately? Obama has gently guided and pushed the Republicans further to the right. By the time the election gets here, they will be so extreme they’ll be down to the Tea Partiers.

  30. 30.

    Mnemosyne

    February 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    @Svensker:

    We were torn between that one and Trouble in Paradise. “Tonsils! Positively tonsils!”

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    February 14, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    @BGK:

    Three words: white noise machine.

  32. 32.

    Citizen_X

    February 14, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    I gotta post this song for Valentine’s Day. “When arrows fail to penetrate/CUPID GRABS A PISTOL.” Cracks me up every time.

  33. 33.

    Citizen_X

    February 14, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    Oh Christ, fucked up the link. This song.

  34. 34.

    Ab_Normal

    February 14, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    @Bago: Tonight my order of operations is romantic dinner with husband, then Mass Effect demo.

  35. 35.

    M. Bouffant

    February 14, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Savage’s advice: not bloody likely. My Valentine insists on “payment” first.

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