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You are here: Home / Friess’s Frame

Friess’s Frame

by Zandar|  February 16, 20122:21 pm| 144 Comments

This post is in: #notintendedtobeafactualstatement, Clown Shoes, Sweet Fancy Moses!

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The Man Behind The Froth has spent millions bankrolling Santorum through his super PAC so far, and today Foster Friess pretty much undid every dollar of “free speech” he bought with this awesome statement on birth control to MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell:

On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.

Of course, to be fair back then people used aspirin for everything: broken bones from unfortunate dirigible accidents, knee injuries suffered while dancing the Charleston, steam burns from auto-velocipedes, sprains from the Dickensian work houses, and various abrasions caused the occasional dinosaur stampede.

Now you kids get off of his lawn, he’s missing his RKO Radio Pictures.

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Previous Post: « If I wasn’t watching it happen, I wouldn’t believe it
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Reader Interactions

144Comments

  1. 1.

    Rafer Janders

    February 16, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    It’s like they suddenly WANT to lose….

  2. 2.

    bemused

    February 16, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    What a lovely thing for a self-described born-again, evangelical Christian to say.

  3. 3.

    gex

    February 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Aspirin? What kind of satanic pansy liberal is he? I demand leeches!

  4. 4.

    retr2327

    February 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    This is the problem with haveing a single filthy rich, but politically unsophisticated, individual bankrolling your campaign. In his heart of hearts (hey, at least he’s got one, unlike Romney), Santorum no doubt agrees. But there’s no way he’d be stupid enough to say so out loud. But now, he’s going to be asked to distance himself from that statement.

    Popcorn time again . . .

  5. 5.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    February 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    @Rafer Janders: Only if America pays attention.

  6. 6.

    Ecks

    February 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Grade A snark right there. Grade A.

  7. 7.

    Trentrunner

    February 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Wow. Just…wow.

    I hope some enterprising reporter asks Santorum if he agrees with this particular form of birth control.

    Breath is not being held, however.

  8. 8.

    Teddy's Person

    February 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    I’m losing my ability to be shocked by these assholes.

  9. 9.

    bemused

    February 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    No need for Mitt super-pac to spend all that money to take down Santorum when money bags Friess is being so helpful.

  10. 10.

    Paul in KY

    February 16, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Of course Santorum agrees with it. Freiss was just giving a colorful version of olden days abstinence.

  11. 11.

    Politically Lost

    February 16, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    And, intrepid sophisticated beltway reporter then CHANGES THE FUCKING SUBJECT!

    Our failed media indeed.

  12. 12.

    butler

    February 16, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    Quick google search shows that this troll was spawned in 1940. So he turned 20 in 1960, when the FDA approved the Pill, and has thus lived his entire adult life in a world with this form of contraception is legally available. Never mind condoms, which predate his birth and were being handed out by the US Army when this jerk was still a toddler.

  13. 13.

    scav

    February 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    butbutbut, aren’t at least some of those sluts with the aspirins between their knees not submitting meekly to their lord and masters, let alone not leaving themselves open to GOD’S gift of just the right amount of rape? Closing Themselves Off To GOD’S Tender Mercies! My Word.

  14. 14.

    Bulworth

    February 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @Teddy’s Person: That’s the problem. The teabag party has become so absurd that nothing they or their spokespeople say matters. It’s all just one big pile of crazy that nonetheless must be treated Very Respectfully by our socalled librul media. Cue the next fox and friends guest who will vouch for how wonderful, free and effective this aspirin between the knees thing was.

  15. 15.

    Irving

    February 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I believe that he’s not actually suggesting you use aspirin for birth control, but rather practice abstinence; i.e., keep your knees together, ladies. Just to clarify.

  16. 16.

    Legalize

    February 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Christ. Maybe the GOP just wants to become the largest improv comedy outfit in the world. Or it is trying to put the Onion out of business.

  17. 17.

    Elizabelle

    February 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Caught this in real time.

    Andrea MItchell was shocked. And didn’t follow up all that well.

  18. 18.

    Mnemosyne

    February 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    If Freiss thinks you can’t have sex with your knees held together, he needs to get out more. Maybe we should send him a copy of the Kama Sutra with the appropriate pages marked.

  19. 19.

    beltane

    February 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    @butler: ‘Tis a pity the aspirin method didn’t work for the unfortunate female creature who birthed him.

  20. 20.

    Nemesis

    February 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Outrageous statement, but its just the outrage du jour. Nothing more.

  21. 21.

    ...now I try to be amused

    February 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    @retr2327:

    This is the problem with haveing a single filthy rich, but politically unsophisticated, individual bankrolling your campaign.

    Citizens United strikes again. Just like the problem with one person, one vote is all the stupid people voting, the problem with one dollar, one vote is all the stupid dollars voting.

  22. 22.

    aimai

    February 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Americans (some of them) seem to have this weird belief that a person who is in their 70’s now is somehow like someone who was in their 70’s seventy years ago. My parents are 80 this year. They seem quite conversant with the history of contraception in this country and are under no illusions that “gals” ever resorted to anything like “keeping their knees” together at any time in American history. Coitus Interuptus, sponges, condoms –they were invented by the fucking french a few hundred years ago–and abortion were quite common and openly discussed during the last hundred years. Let alone since the 1940s.

    aimai

  23. 23.

    Comrade Mary

    February 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    So Friess has never met a lady who can have a LOT of fun while keeping her knees together? Poor Friess. Lucky lady.

  24. 24.

    Mouse Tolliver

    February 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    @retr2327: You have vastly overestimated the intelligence of Rick Santorum. He’s stupid. Really really stupid.

  25. 25.

    jonas

    February 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Well, this was a classic gaffe, as in “accidentally telling the truth.” Republicans really do think that if you’re on birth control, it’s because you’re a slut, or dream of being a slut. If you weren’t trying to hide an affair, or trying to deny your husband a healthy male heir, why else would you need it?

  26. 26.

    Steve

    February 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    You actually should watch the video, just to see the big grin on the guy’s face as he delivers this “joke.” He literally expects everyone to laugh along like they do down at the country club.

    I have no problem with Andrea Mitchell’s reaction – she obviously thought it was totally inappropriate, but she stayed professional. She doesn’t need to “ask a followup” – the guy’s words speak volumes, you can just leave them hanging there. I have to say I’m sort of amazed at how professional women manage to keep their cool under circumstances like these.

  27. 27.

    beltane

    February 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    @Mnemosyne: It just goes to show you that these Christianist men lack any sort of sexual prowess whatsoever. You just want to look at them and laugh knowing what abject failures they must be in the manliness department.

  28. 28.

    Chris

    February 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Every time I hear the guy’s name, I think: Batman Villain! Mr Foster Freeze!

  29. 29.

    Elizabelle

    February 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Speaking of real comedians: any idea what’s up with Steven Colbert? AP put up some story that he’s off without explanation for 2 days, taping was cancelled, and Comedy Central isn’t saying anything.

    Wazzupp?

    http://www.thestate.com/2012/02/16/2155729/colbert-report-off-air-comedy.html

  30. 30.

    Mnemosyne

    February 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    @Irving:

    Um, yes, we got that that intended “joke” is that ladies don’t need them fancy birth control pills — they just need to keep their legs together, har har!

    You really don’t need to explain a joke that’s about 60 years old at this point. What’s next, letting us all in on the secret of why the chicken crossed the road?

  31. 31.

    Nancy

    February 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Another example of conservatives not being funny. He said it was a joke when he said a sitting U.S. congresswoman should “lay off the crack pipe.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/16/eric-bolling-maxine-waters-crack-pipe-fox-news_n_1281540.html

  32. 32.

    sherparick

    February 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    @Irving: Yep, that is what this the gentleman meant. The Ads write themselves.

  33. 33.

    General Stuck

    February 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    And here I thought aspirin was for headaches. These fuckers are starting to sound like demented Monty Python skits from the 12th century. When will Santorum demand hymen inspections for all unmarried females? Or it’s off to the woodpile for them.

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    @Politically Lost:

    Just this.

    When The Revolution comes, with a handful of exceptions, the vermin of the Village get the first tumbrel rides.

  35. 35.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 16, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    Someone reported on a previous thread that Colbert had a family emergency. No details.

  36. 36.

    Napoleon

    February 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    Some places are reporting it is some kind of family emergency. This has happened twice with Stewart’s show in the past when it went inexplicably dark, once when his son was born and once when a writer commited suicide.

  37. 37.

    Guster

    February 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    I hate the phrase epistemic closure, because ‘ignorant fuckwads’ works fine. But these people really don’t understand that everyone is not exactly like them. I bet the Bayer line slayed at CPAC.

  38. 38.

    Comrade Mary

    February 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    @Elizabelle: He’s ill? One of his kids is ill? I hope it’s just a setup for a bit and nothing bad.

  39. 39.

    Carnacki

    February 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Uh, to be fair, I love RKO Radio Pictures. Some of the greatest pre-Hayes movies ever. My fave, The Phantom of Crestwood, the main character is a woman of ill-repute blackmailing a U.S. senator, banker, other 1 percenters for their hypocritical stances while banging her. The “hero” is a gangster who in many ways resembles the Mr. Wolf character in pulp fiction who solves the murders because he knows he and the other gangsters will swing for it if the real killer is not turned over to the police..

  40. 40.

    Elizabelle

    February 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Thank you. In my thoughts.

  41. 41.

    Linda Featheringill

    February 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    I first heard the aspirin line in the early 1960s. And it was old then.

    Bah, humbug.

    [I must admit though, that at the time, what with birth control pills with too much hormone in them and therefore chronic nausea on the part of the poor women, there were times when the aspirin sounded like a viable option. ]

  42. 42.

    Svensker

    February 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    If Freiss thinks you can’t have sex with your knees held together, he needs to get out more.

    Er, I think that’s the point. You can’t have sex with your knees together, or at least not vaginally penetrative sex. So no penetration, no baby. See? Cheap contraception! And to the Catholic bishops, the other kind of sex is a sin. Unless it involves under age boys, of course. Then it’s just frisky.

    ETA: I see I’m doing snark fail again. My apologies. :)

  43. 43.

    Mary G

    February 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    I think Andrea was just trying to stay out of the way of the footage of the commercials the Republicans are kindly filming for Obama’s re-election campaign. They can just edit together a string of these old white men saying this stuff and at the end go “Really? Do you want to go back to the dark ages?” Women will fall over themselves to be sure and vote. I know I will. This crap has me furious.

  44. 44.

    Comrade Mary

    February 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    @Napoleon: Thanks to you and others for the family emergency details.

    I didn’t know about the suicide. Poor kid.

  45. 45.

    TooManyJens

    February 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    Andrea MItchell was shocked. And didn’t follow up all that well.

    She’s still having trouble with it. I don’t blame her a bit.

  46. 46.

    AA+ Bonds

    February 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  47. 47.

    Guster

    February 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    @Svensker: Um, I’m no Don Juan, and even my fat old married ass managed that.

  48. 48.

    Zandar

    February 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    @Carnacki: Yes.

    And Foster here is missing them. WOMEN ARE ON HIS LAWN. WITH KNEES. AND ASPIRIN.

  49. 49.

    Percysowner

    February 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    @Irving:

    I believe that he’s not actually suggesting you use aspirin for birth control, but rather practice abstinence; i.e., keep your knees together, ladies. Just to clarify.

    REALLY!!! Such a shame my poor, simple female mind couldn’t figure that one out all by myself! Of course that’s what he meant, there is no other way for anyone to take the comment. But fine, be all condescending, you look like a fool.

  50. 50.

    Comrade Mary

    February 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    @Svensker:

    Er, I think that’s the point. You can’t have sex with your knees together, or at least not vaginally penetrative sex.

    Google “rear entry knees together”. (Maybe not at work.) You’re welcome.

  51. 51.

    Mouse Tolliver

    February 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    You really don’t need to explain a joke that’s about 60 years old at this point. What’s next, letting us all in on the secret of why the chicken crossed the road?

    Everybody knows why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the doctor on the other side.

  52. 52.

    beltane

    February 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    @Svensker:

    You can’t have sex with your knees together, or at least not vaginally penetrative sex.

    Umm, that is just not correct. Perhaps someone here will care to enlighten you further on the subject.

  53. 53.

    Mary G

    February 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    @General Stuck: I have to tell you; I just now did something I have never done before. I put a bookmark on a blog comment of yours in the last thread. It was inspiring.

  54. 54.

    Benjamin Franklin

    February 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    From the rhythm method to abstinence. Forget man on dog, Cotton Mather
    makes the Mormon boudoir garments look appealing.

  55. 55.

    retr2327

    February 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Mouse Tolliver:

    As a general matter, I don’t disagree. But I’d be shocked to see him being so politically inept as to agree with Friess here.

    And a little disappointed as well: I’m hoping he does well, and destroys Romney, since I think Romney can fake moderation better than Santorum, and is therefore more of a threat in the general.

  56. 56.

    Steve

    February 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    @TooManyJens: I couldn’t really parse “Tweeps” and then I thought, “Could it possibly be short for “Twitter peeps”? Apparently it is. Now I feel kind of embarrassed for figuring that out.

  57. 57.

    butler

    February 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    You can’t have sex with your knees together, or at least not vaginally penetrative sex.

    Then you’re doing something wrong.

  58. 58.

    General Stuck

    February 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    @Mary G:

    Blush, thanks,

  59. 59.

    pk

    February 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Why between the knees. That’s not the right spot. This guy needs a lesson on the birds and the bees!

  60. 60.

    rikryah

    February 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    they are who we thought they were. plain and simple.

  61. 61.

    Guster

    February 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    @Steve: Ha! I thought ‘is she calling them ‘twitter creeps?’ That’s pretty hostile.

  62. 62.

    cmorenc

    February 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Freiss’s thought his asprin-is-contraception (when placed between a woman’s knees) was an acceptably lame joke to say in public, whereas his true thoughts on the matter wouldn’t fly except in a private guys-only off-the-record gathering:
    – namely that you can have your cake of abstinence and eat your sex cake too (without need to worry about contraception) by having women give men blowjobs instead of indulging in vaginal sex. Hey, don’t traditional values make this a great country, or what?

  63. 63.

    harlana

    February 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    NO, just, NO. Okay, this is starting me make me wonder just what are they really up to. I mean, come on people. But then, “your billionaire” can say whatever he wants, right? But I thought these guys typically laid low, for obvious reasons, as exhibited here.

    Psst, candidates, here’s a tip – do NOT let your billionaire talk on teevee. At least the Koch brothers have enough sense not to do that.

    Sooo, is Santorum just another stalking horse?

  64. 64.

    rob!

    February 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Why do I get the feeling the word “Darkie” is used around the Friess house a lot?

  65. 65.

    Mnemosyne

    February 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Though I do have to say, one of the best techniques for batting down right-wingers is not understanding their jokes. They tell it, and you blink and say, “I don’t get it. What does that mean? Does aspirin suppress ovulation through the kneecaps?”

    Make them explain, and then blink again. “Oh. I guess it’s a joke because it doesn’t make any logical sense.”

    It helps if you can keep a Spock-like expression during all of this. Also helpful for racist jokes — expressing puzzlement instead of giving them the angry reaction they want just drives them up the wall.

  66. 66.

    Svensker

    February 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    @beltane:

    OK, OK, I wasn’t thinking creatively. Jeez, people. But that’s not how the missionaries (and Foster Friess) do it!

  67. 67.

    Dave-EO

    February 16, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    IT’S A JOKE. But not the best place to say it.
    I was born way back before the turn-of-the-century, and this was a VERY common joke because, let’s face it, for kids like me and my friends a condom was the easiest and cheapest form of birth control. And, consequently, most girls simple “kept their knees together.” Great advice for teens; not so much for adults.

  68. 68.

    Mouse Tolliver

    February 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Again, after allowing himself to be videotaped saying contraception is “not okay” and that it’s evil and unhealthy and bad for society, Santorum tells Jake Tapper, on video no less, that states should be allowed to ban birth control.

    Just heard Clear Channel blacklisted Loretta Lynn again for writing “The Pill” 37 years ago. (j/k)

  69. 69.

    Paul in KY

    February 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: I hope I’m there to see it. I will be doing the 21st century version of knitting, right up front with a big grin on my face.

  70. 70.

    JPL

    February 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Because I hadn’t reached my wingnut overload point, I listened to the entire episode. He wants Cain to have the keys to air force one, so that he can preach American greatness abroad. I hope there’s a lot of aspirin on that plane since Cain does have quite the reputation.

  71. 71.

    Guster

    February 16, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    @Mnemosyne: That’s lovely. I’m going to try that.

    (And Svensker, you’re my new favorite person. I haven’t felt sexually sophisticated in like 30 years!)

  72. 72.

    Satanicpanic

    February 16, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thankfully he has no relation to Fosters Freeze.

  73. 73.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 16, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    @beltane:

    Really, just head over to PornoTube or some other pr0n site, and they’ll show you plenty of ways you can get preggers with an asprin held between your legs.

  74. 74.

    dmsilev

    February 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    I think we’re missing the bigger picture here. Frothy’s billionaire has managed to get everyone talking about Santorum and intimate bodily functions, but without bringing up the, well, the froth.

    I, for one, am impressed.

    And appalled.

  75. 75.

    Rafer Janders

    February 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    @Svensker:

    You can’t have sex with your knees together, or at least not vaginally penetrative sex.

    I, um, beg to differ…

  76. 76.

    Svensker

    February 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    @Guster:

    Thanks. I think. Or not. :)

    Also, too, what the hell is he talking about “jihadist training camps in South America”? That’s the serious issue we should be worrying about rather than ladies denying their lady bits to teh menz?

    These people are nucking futz.

  77. 77.

    Comrade Mary

    February 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Aha! Which proves that there is no reason for Godless and expensive fertility treatments that imperil our collective souls and wallets. Just run out to the drugstore for supplies, run home, assume the position, and VOILA! Happy baby in nine months.

  78. 78.

    Southern Beale

    February 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    Yes please, Mr. Friess, send a few more millions Santorum’s way. Can’t wait to see you and your asshole brethren in bankruptcy court.

  79. 79.

    Mouse Tolliver

    February 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Republicans say “no” to contraception, but “yes” to forced vaginal probes.

  80. 80.

    Lee

    February 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    @Mnemosyne: That is exactly what I do. Boy does it really take the wind out of their sails if they have to explain their racist/misogynist jokes.

  81. 81.

    Irving

    February 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    @Percysowner: Easy, now. The explosion of outrage was so high in the first few comments that I couldn’t tell if folks were taking him literally or not – and after Dr. Paul’s “I recommend a shot of estrogen” shenanigans it’s getting hard to tell if they’re recommending abstinence or quackery. Yes, it’s an old, old “joke”, but it’s hard to go broke underestimating the historical illiteracy of folks on the Internet – although apparently, I just did.

    In short: No offense intended on my part, and I apologize that I did offend unthinkingly.

  82. 82.

    feebog

    February 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    I think I will give Andrea a oass in thus one. She looked like she was gobsmacked and simply could not think of anything to say that didn’t contain the word “asshole” in the sentence.

  83. 83.

    4tehlulz

    February 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Romney embraces the stupid and bows out of debate on eve of Super Tuesday, per TPM.

  84. 84.

    GregB

    February 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Foster Freiss is the main reason that polls now indicate Santorum is coming from behind.

    Clean up in aisle 9.

  85. 85.

    The Dangerman

    February 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    I’m calling bullshit; these aren’t political positions actually believed, it’s fucking performance art. This is their Piss Ant version of Piss Art, serving only to inflame, not educate.

  86. 86.

    flukebucket

    February 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    The only silver lining to this cloud is that it made me think of this classic Nicholson scene

  87. 87.

    Satanicpanic

    February 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Actually, I needed this joke to be explained (see the previous thread). I think it’s a sign of progress that a young(ish) person like me didn’t get it.

  88. 88.

    Comrade Mary

    February 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    @4tehlulz: Moron. Yes, there have been way too many debates, and on the ground campaigning is important, but now that the field is down to so few candidates, and he’s coming off some losses, he just looks desperate and scared.

  89. 89.

    scav

    February 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    @Mouse Tolliver: forced vaginal probes? OK, now we’re talking Space Aliens type behavior. Do those count as the icky illegal kind or no?

  90. 90.

    Guster

    February 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    @Svensker: Well the solution is obvious. Jihadis just need to hold one aspirin between trigger finger and nose.

  91. 91.

    brent

    February 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Apparently Friess is entirely unaware that women, even in his day, even women he knew, were indeed having sex. They were not the chaste virgins of his imagination. The difference is they used less effective and available forms of birth control that resulted in them having significantly less control of their lives. He’s an idiot so I am sure this has never particularly concerned him but he should be made aware that there was never a time when people didn’t have sex a lot, no matter what he was told.

  92. 92.

    Mark B.

    February 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    And for next joke, Ogg show you his courtship routine. [Waves club menacingly]

  93. 93.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    @Mouse Tolliver:

    As someone pointed out in comments at one site I visited on this particular topic, what the Virginia Legislature is advocating is a violation of their own law on rape.

    Oh, what a tangled web we weave…

  94. 94.

    Raven

    February 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    “Friess had no hesitation in bringing the Mormon Church, of which the Republican front-runner Mitt Romney is a member, into an attack on abuse of welfare benefits, suggesting, without explanation, that “little Mormon gals” were getting pregnant with rich men and taking welfare to pay for their babies.”

  95. 95.

    dmsilev

    February 16, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    @4tehlulz: Pretty stupid of him. He’s not the anointed front-runner who can ignore his pitiful challengers. If he wins Michigan and sweeps Super Tuesday, then maybe, but not until then. If he doesn’t show up, Santorum and probably Gingrich will use him as a punching bag for a couple of hours in front of a country that is watching this with increasingly appalled fascination.

  96. 96.

    beltane

    February 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    @Svensker: From what I’ve been told, Islamic law is somewhat more enlightened on the subject of family planning than our Christianists are. Maybe Freiss is afraid the jihadists are going to storm our borders and distribute birth control pills to people.

  97. 97.

    Wesindc

    February 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    WTF!!! Why didn’t she push him on that comment? Really, aspirin between the knees WTF is that supposed to mean?

  98. 98.

    pseudonymous in nc

    February 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    @Wesindc:

    Why didn’t she push him on that comment? Really, aspirin between the knees WTF is that supposed to mean?

    Because calling him on it, or telling him to shut the fuck up, would fuck up the timing for the next break. You forget what cablenews is for. You also forget that the GOP has devolved to “all trolling, all of the time.”

  99. 99.

    EdTheRed

    February 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    @Politically Lost: Yeah, Andrea Mitchell changing the subject (after she recovers from her initial shock) may as well have been scripted by the writers at the Daily Show. Just too perfect an illustration of Our Failed Media Experiment.

  100. 100.

    JC

    February 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Wow, man, this is like an Onion skit. Seriously, would this be out of place, in an Onion piece?

    “Man says all is needed for contraception is aspirin between the knees”.

    Billionaire Friess, supporter of Santorum, expounded today, on his preferred method of birth control. “Aspirin between the knees is the way to go. People talk about sex too much anyway”.

    We here at the Onion didn’t want to think about closed knees and Santorum too closely, as we’ve just had lunch.

    While discussing the subject with Andrea Mitchell, he brought up the unrelated issue of jihadist training camps in Latin America.

    “Pretty soon, Islamists will be taking over Latin America! We’ve got to beware!”

    Really, it wouldn’t sound out of place in an Onion piece. Just less funny.

  101. 101.

    Culture of Truth

    February 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Why is this man not doing standup at CPAC? He’s like the CarrotTop of misogyny! He kills!

  102. 102.

    EdTheRed

    February 16, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    @Wesindc: “Aspirin between the knees” is an old-school (i.e. “slut-shaming”) expression – it means that if women would just keep their knees locked tight together (the implied alternative being the spreading of legs), they wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant.

  103. 103.

    Elizabelle

    February 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    @EdTheRed:

    I don’t know why Mitchell didn’t come back with “Mr. Friess, this is 2012.”

    And then silence.

  104. 104.

    harlana

    February 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    @JC: fact is, most of this stuff would have been Onion material, just that republicans thought of it first – it just writes itself, progressive comedians are positively giddy

  105. 105.

    SenyorDave

    February 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    The ads just write themselves…

  106. 106.

    shortstop

    February 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    @retr2327:

    Santorum no doubt agrees. But there’s no way he’d be stupid enough to say so out loud. But now, he’s going to be asked to distance himself from that statement.

    Maybe Rih can say that Karen made Friess say it. Old Karen is responsible for every XX-degrading thing that comes out of Rih’s mouth, according to Rih.

    @aimai: It’s true. There are old people, and then there are assholes who are out of touch at any age. Rih himself is only 53, but has always been going on 116.

  107. 107.

    Culture of Truth

    February 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    The future is bright for Mr Foster Friess. First, Caroline’s. Then, a comedy album and an HBO special. Finally a sitcom! Possible titles:

    “How I Hate Your Mother”

    “Two Broke Girls and the Old Man Who Doesn’t Want Them to Have Sex”

    “The No Bang Theory”

  108. 108.

    shortstop

    February 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    I just had a little flashback. One of my relatives got married really young, at age 20. On her first visit to the gyno as a married woman, the nurse told her, “Oh, you’re married now. You won’t need the pill any more.” This was in the 1990s, BTW. Some of these people really think contraception is only used by teenage sluts. I doubt it’s actually ever occurred to Friess that a married woman might not want to have every sexual act result in a pregnancy.

  109. 109.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    February 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I thought the Good ‘ol boy was using “aspirin between your knees” as a euphemism for oral sex, i.e. come and get your medicine big boy. Grrrr…./Eartha Kitt

  110. 110.

    Ben Cisco

    February 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    He should have to press two of them against his forehead.
    __
    With a hammer.

  111. 111.

    Soonergrunt

    February 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    What shall we call the frothy mixture of dissolving aspirin and sweat that is sometimes the byproduct of avoiding sex with Foster Friess?

  112. 112.

    shortstop

    February 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Maybe this incident will have the side benefit of making the media finally pay attention to the fact that Friess, who as Santorum’s PAC guru is not supposed to be coordinating with the campaign in any way, is standing behind Rick at every post-primary and post-caucus speech.

  113. 113.

    harlana

    February 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Of course, to be fair back then people used aspirin for everything: broken bones from unfortunate dirigible accidents, knee injuries suffered while dancing the Charleston, steam burns from auto-velocipedes, sprains from the Dickensian work houses, and various abrasions caused the occasional dinosaur stampede.
    Now you kids get off of his lawn, he’s missing his RKO Radio Pictures.

    Has Sarah Proud and Tall weighed in on this yet? I’d like to get her first-hand perspective. :)

  114. 114.

    Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor

    February 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    @4tehlulz:

    Romney embraces the stupid and bows out of debate on eve of Super Tuesday

    I could be totally imagining this… but I’m starting to get the feeling from the last few times I’ve seen him on the teevee that Romney doesn’t really want it that badly, anymore. Something about his facial expressions recently.

    Even he must have some little Observer inside his head, telling him “Man, I can’t believe they’re making me say such stupid bullshytt.”

    Not that he’d refuse the job if it were handed to him…

  115. 115.

    Hart Williams

    February 16, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    There is a complete investigative series on Foster Friess here:

    “They’re going after the Wisconsin Teachers”

    http://wp.me/p5dEo-2YA

  116. 116.

    retr2327

    February 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    @shortstop:
    “I doubt it’s actually ever occurred to Friess that a married woman might not want to have every sexual act result in a pregnancy.”

    Actually, I doubt it’s ever actually occurred to Friess to wonder what a married woman wants, period.

  117. 117.

    4tehlulz

    February 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    @Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor: Having to work to get something makes him sad.

  118. 118.

    chopper

    February 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    as a title I would have gone with ‘freiss’s frame gonna drive you insane’ but otherwise spot-on.

  119. 119.

    Comrade Dread

    February 16, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    It’s times like these that I’m glad my family gets its health care from a soulless abomination of a corporation that is only interested in fleecing us for as much money as possible while paying out as little as they can.

    I suppose the good folks at Kaiser, Blue Cross, and the others should send the GOP a Thank You card for making them look better in comparison.

  120. 120.

    Elizabelle

    February 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    @Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor:

    I’ve been wondering about that one myself.

    Romney is craven, especially for sliming Obama every chance he gets, but he’s not insane. The GOP is becoming as appealing as herpes.

    And now he’s possibly losing.

    I wonder if he regrets not being a better son in the mold of his father. (Dengre’s post a few nights ago …)

  121. 121.

    Elizabelle

    February 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    @harlana:

    I loved Zandar’s prose there. Velocipedes.

  122. 122.

    bjacques

    February 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Yeah, rich old white guys joking about how women ought to behave are high-larious. It’s “cop humor,” when someone who has an advantage over you makes jokes about ruining your day and you basically have to grin along until you can get away.

  123. 123.

    shortstop

    February 16, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    @Elizabelle: I don’t think anyone capable of any kind of introspection could be as completely without a principled center as Romney is. As someone here put it, once you strip away the ambition and the pandering, there literally is nothing else there.

  124. 124.

    feebog

    February 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    @ Judas Escargot

    I could be totally imagining this… but I’m starting to get the feeling from the last few times I’ve seen him on the teevee that Romney doesn’t really want it that badly, anymore. Something about his facial expressions recently.

    Romney has facial expressions?

    Seriously, I still think he wants it, but this is getting to be too much like work. This, like everything else in his life was supposed to be easy. After all, he already went through the 2008 primary and established his bona fides as the next in line.

  125. 125.

    ProChoiceGrandma

    February 16, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    @Irving: #15 Hey Irving, pull thine head out of thine ass. We didn’t need you to “explain” the “joke” to all of us poor simple-minded womenfolk {eyeroll}. Foster Friess is essentially calling ALL women sluts, yeah, even the married women who use birth control. No wonder he had a marriage frequently on the brink of divorce and emotionally distant children.

  126. 126.

    Jennifer

    February 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    The only possible follow-up to that remark that Mitchell could have made is “how many children did you and your wife have, Mr. Friess?”

  127. 127.

    shortstop

    February 16, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    @feebog: Saw a production of David Mamet’s Race a couple of weeks ago. One of the characters is a super-privileged old white guy who’s been accused of rape and is absolutely outraged that this is happening to him. His attorney points out that the reason the defendant is so unable to cope is that in 40 years, no one’s ever said no to him.

    I immediately thought of Romney and his belief that because he wants the presidency, he should have it.

  128. 128.

    Zandar

    February 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    I loved Zandar’s prose there. Velocipedes.

    Indubitably! [monocles off into the gaslight]

  129. 129.

    srv

    February 16, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    My Altoids Curiously Strong Fact of the day is that it was once used to ease raven attacks.

  130. 130.

    Judas Escargot

    February 16, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    @feebog:

    Romney has facial expressions?

    Kind of. This has been floated before by others, but I half wonder if Mitt has high-functioning Asperger’s.

    The tell is that, when he’s speaking, he never seems to know what to do with his hands, nor how to manage his glance (where to look, and how long to hold it).

    (No blame or judgement here, I have the same problems, which is probably why I notice these things).

  131. 131.

    PurpleGirl

    February 16, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    @Elizabelle: If Mrs. Alan Greenspan follows up in any meaningful way, she won’t get invited to the cool parties.

  132. 132.

    Shalimar

    February 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    @Jennifer:

    The only possible follow-up to that remark that Mitchell could have made is “how many children did you and your wife have, Mr. Friess?”

    And the best follow-up to that is “have you had DNA tests to prove they’re all yours?”

  133. 133.

    Patricia Kayden

    February 16, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Now we’re “gals”.

    Poor Andrea. Couldn’t even follow up with a question.

  134. 134.

    Politically Correct!

    February 16, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    This Political firestorm about Birth Control and Women’s Reproductive rights is nothing more than a Political smoke screen, sensationalized by the political machine to distract Voters from the Failures of the Current Administration! Don’t be fooled!

  135. 135.

    Ruckus

    February 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    @Teddy’s Person:
    I’m never shocked at what comes out of an asshole.

    Disgusted, frequently.
    Alarmed, infrequently.
    Overwhelmed, occasionally.
    Shocked, never.

  136. 136.

    Ruckus

    February 16, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    @Mnemosyne:
    Yeah, the dead stare is a worthwhile tool in the expression arsenal. Especially when dealing with idiots.

  137. 137.

    Baud

    February 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    Lawrence O’Donnell just retweeted this Friess tweet:

    Watch MSNBC 10pmET tonight as I join @Lawrence O’Donnell to set the record straight on my aspirin joke…

  138. 138.

    decitect

    February 16, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    So if we want to avoid spreading santorum, you have to hold an aspirin between the butt cheeks? It’s a long time till super tuesday, better stock up on aspirin!

  139. 139.

    5x5

    February 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    @Mouse Tolliver:

    Republicans say “no” to contraception, but “yes” to forced vaginal probes

    Why aren’t doctors ever allowed to base their medical advice and procedures on morals? What happens to a doctor who doesn’t follow the “gag” rule or who would say no to doing this?

  140. 140.

    Billy Rae Valentine

    February 16, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    i don’t understand why you’re assaulting the poster Irving with so much snark. he explained the joke without condescension for those who actually did NOT seem to get the joke. i know it was obvious to you but it wasn’t to me until a friend explained it.

    then i came here and the original poster’s (zandar’s) post didn’t seem to suggest he understood either and instead took the aspirin line literally. so i scrolled through to see if anyone had explained it and was happy when finally Irving did. anyway, your smart-alecky tell-off seems inapprpriate.

  141. 141.

    Billy Rae Valentine

    February 16, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    @Irving: i doubt you’ll see this as these threads get so long, but thank you for explaining the joke. i didn’t get it. i didn’t understand why people snapped at you for explaining, either, and tried to comment that i thought that was unfair. anyway, thank you.

  142. 142.

    Uncle Cosmo

    February 16, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    @soonergrunt (#111): How about “that Friessy kid stuff”? (Which ah spoze shows my superannuated condition…)

  143. 143.

    Another Halocene Human

    February 17, 2012 at 3:50 am

    @scav: You can’t get pregnant when you’re raped–didn’t you know? If you do get pregnant, you’re a shameless hussy who probably enjoyed it. At any rate it wasn’t rape rape.

  144. 144.

    Another Halocene Human

    February 17, 2012 at 4:14 am

    @Baud: So what did he say? I’m waiting with bated breath here.

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