Almost certainly, positively the last of these debacles, since the Super Tuesday debate’s been cancelled. A reminder of progress to date, per Paul Constant at The Stranger:
In case you haven’t been paying attention up till now, the Republican presidential race has been a steaming turdgasm featuring sexual harassment, the joyous applauding of state-sanctioned murder, racism, xenophobia, idiocy, anti-gay bigotry, the lusty booing of uninsured people who dare to get hit by cars, and detailed discussion of how much control the government should have over the uteruses of women. Depending on who you ask, the current front-runner is either a malevolent Ken doll with a quarter-billion-dollar personal fortune, a white supremacist with a rock-hard boner for Ayn Rand who’s trying to overthrow the party using some tricky delegate math, or a gay-and-woman-hating religious demagogue who, according to internet folklore, was named after a vile, frothy mixture of lubricant and bodily fluids.
__
In short, the only winner of the Republican primaries to date has been Barack Obama.
CNN livestream here, if it doesn’t crash your system.
Richard Adams’ invaluable Guardian liveblog here.
I agree with this statement from Adams:
9.04pm: So far this debate is like watching three drunks trying to start a fight and falling over.
… but I’d add the modifiers “mean, violently-inclined, stupid drunks”.
Excellent final summary from Mr. Adams, too also:
10.05pm: And that is. Thank god that’s over. A couple more hours of this and the Republican party could go the way of the Whigs. (Some of you may think that’s not a bad thing.)
__
So 20 years from now we’ll find that all these Republican debates were secretly funded by the Obama campaign, code-named “Give them enough rope”.
__
Here’s my one-word summary right now: beer.
(The question from John King to the candidates: What one word would you use to describe yourself? The answers: Paul, “consistent”; Santorum, “courage”; Romney, “resolute”, and Gingrich, “cheerful”.)
BGinCHI
If at the end each candidate gets to throw Ron Paul as far as they can, my money is on Santorum.
Santorum can be really slippery in these kinds of situations.
freelancer
Wow, I’m like a 15 minute drive from there. Wonder if I can still get tickets.
Baud
At the end of this debate they are going to sacrifice a virgin on live tv.
Comrade Mary
I think someone should let Adams know that Dog on Roof / Man on Dog is a concept that appeared well before February 20 on a blog that is not Shakesville.
Raven
I got sick after my whirlwind trip to the Bay Area so I can’t feel any worse, may as well watch these fools.
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
This ought to be a riot. The devil told me so.
Soonergrunt
@Baud: That was changed, actually. At the end of the debate, each candidate will perform an intravaginal ultrasound on a pregnant teenager. Points will be awarded based upon how effectively the candidate can shame the little whore into keeping her baby.
Buffalo Rude
Lets get this shitshow started!
Brian R.
John King is moderating? He should just drop trou now and wait for Newt to go to pound town on him.
arguingwithsignposts
just shoot me now.
Rita R.
Ooohh… they’re in chairs. Way to mix it up CNN. But sitting on their brains like that could slow this debate down.
jl
I guess I will check in, I mean if we see Rih fighting Satan over the fate of America real time, that would be exciting.
On other hand, if End Times and Armageddon ensue, it’s sure to be in the news tomorrow.
But, aw heck, I’ll check in and see how it’s going anyway
.
freelancer (iPhone)
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero):
A Sundevil, perhaps?
Raven
I remember the time if you wore a shirt made out of a flag it made the right-wingers heads explode. Now they are one.
Spaghetti Lee
Depending on who you ask, the current front-runner is
Patrick Bateman, Gollum, and Ward Cleaver as I like to call them.
lamh34
Not watching the debate, but are either of the Catholic candidates have ashes on their foreheads.
Speaking of Ash Wednesday, I have a supervisor who every year leaves and goes to the chapel or somewhere in/or around the hospital and get ashes on her forehead and would walk around all day with ashes on her forehead.
Question, are the ashes supposed to be worn all day? Do you have to get the ashes in the morning or can you get the ashes anytime of the day?
Raven
@freelancer (iPhone): Sparky
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
Santorum. more bombs, starve the poor. What a creep.
Raven
@lamh34: One of the women on MSNBC had em on.
Merp
For Christ’s sake.
“As George Costanza would say, ‘When they’re applauding, stop’ “?
The memory circuits must have gotten corrupted from the awful construction of the humor subroutine. Because that’s just a horrible reference.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero): I saw he said today that Obamacare is an assault on Judeo-Christian values. Cause Jesus thought the sick should just die out in the yard.
freelancer (iPhone)
Gubmint “froze” welfare and gave it to the States with 2 “provisals”.
Moar besting of words salading, pleasums!
Raven
Oh, this motherfucker is going to link government pay to private sector. When they did a comparison in my job in higher ed a bunch of IT people got raises.
Anne Laurie
@Soonergrunt:
Fixed that for you. Ask Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts — that’s a valuable commodity those feckless teenagers are wasting!
PeakVT
I’m rooting for Gnoot to land some good punches tonight. Go, Perfesser, go!
MikeJ
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: No, no, no, you don’t understand. If the poor get healthcare then Jesus can’t heal them himself. If they die they were insufficiently pure and deserve it any way.
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
But bombing brown people is high on the Jeebus agenda for these monsters in suits.
Baud
Let’s cut to the chase: Jesus or Reagan – who would you choose?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@lamh34: @Raven: any time of day, and leave them on, at least we did. My mom used to take us after school. When I was growing up, seeing those ashes wouldn’t have phased me, on nutty Melinda Henneberger, it looked all Tebowy.
Redshift
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
No, no, Jesus said “no one should care for the poor or the sick but me, and if I don’t make ’em healthy and rich, it means Dad wanted them to die.” Or something like that.
He also said “any tax money that goes to Caesar is theft, so render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, which is nothing.”
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
Cool knut is channeling the founders. Drill baby drill, they were clear on that.
Redshift
@MikeJ: Jinx!
freelancer (iPhone)
Unreal, bro! Unreal!
jgaugust
@Baud:
I’m confused. They’re not the same person?
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
Paul – Rick is fake. shorter Paul – I vote no, let them eat cake.
Baud
Lots of rambling. Not enough women hating.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: I’d be fucked because the IT market in OK is depressed–thanks to contracting. Which is what they want.
piratedan
would love to see them all forced to answer one question from Rachael Maddow each.
MikeJ
@Redshift:
This one is easy. Who’s picture is on the dollar bill? George Washington. He’s dead, and now he;s in heaven with Jesus. Since you give unto Caesar what is his, and he’s with Jesus, all the money should go to the church.
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
when is noot going to call John King a grly man. get this shit moving
Anne Laurie
@lamh34:
Unless they’ve changed the rules during the last 35 years, any time between 12am and 11:59pm is okay. Technically, it’s not a requirement, just a ritual. And how long you choose to leave the mark on your forehead is up to you — there’s even a theological argument that parading around all day with your bangs pulled back to show the smudge could be a venial sin of pridefulness. I’m sure Santorum’s and Gingrich’s handlers measured the positive value of parading their Catholic piety against the negative value of reminding hardshell-Protestant viewers that papists are ot-nay ictly-stray istians-Cray.
Rita R.
Ron Paul is a loon, but hearing him call Pope Ricky the First a fake was a moment worth watching in this shitshow.
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Yea, this was Atlanta just before the crash. We’ve had quite a few people leave to go to the private sector so I don’t know what the deal is now. I do know that none of us except big wigs administrators have gotten a dime in raises for 5 years.
Linda Featheringill
I tried to listen to the debate but couldn’t stomach it. Yuck.
It is depressing to watch bad people get applause and rewards for telling lies.
On the other hand, comments here and a few more places are much more palatable.
BenA
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I grew up in a part of CT without a lot of Catholics… I never remember seeing the ashes on anyone until I moved here to PA. It basically snapped any ideas I had about Catholics not being as nutty as any other religious cult out of my head. ;-)
WaterGirl
@lamh34: You get them whenever your church service is, and they are there until they wear off by themselves. They are not to be washed off. That’s how it was when I was in catholic school, at least.
Soonergrunt
@Anne Laurie: Thanks. Bonus points if it’s a minority child and the candidate cuts any social service programs that would’ve helped them before he cuts the umbilical cord.
Raven
“Modern Management System”. There goes the veterans preference.
Brachiator
There’s another debate?
Question from the audience. Yes. Congresswoman Norma Bates (R, Psycho)
Norma Bates: [voice-over] “Mother, she’s just a stranger”! As if men don’t desire strangers! As if… ohh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things, because they disgust me! You understand, boy? Go on, go tell her she’ll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food… or my son! Or do I have tell her because you don’t have the guts! Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?
Rick Santorum: Shut up! Shut up!
lamh34
I’m not watching the debate, but it’s interesting seeing the liveblog of Sullivan vs Adams. In that Santorum vs Paul spat, Sully in his usual Paul-ettio grades the exchange in Paul’s favor, but Adams says that Santorum came away better in terms of being a better debater and comparing it to what Gingrich would do.
Baud
Santorum: I will not let Satan corrupt our earmarks.
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
@Linda Featheringill:
Yea, I’ve about reached my limit as well. It is all the people they are appeasing that is the worst.
Soonergrunt
@lamh34: When I was a student at Holy Family as a kid, we wiped that stuff off at recess. Anybody who walked around with it, particularly off-campus would’ve been thought a suck-up, and any adult who kept it would’ve been thought rather weird except the Sisters, whom we all thought were rather weird anyway.
Gex
@Anne Laurie: Why shame them? Doesn’t the Church just pick the ripest ones for the good Christian adoptive parents and let the little whore know her child died?
Baud
I’ve run out of jokes about earmarks.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: just after I qualified for a 10-point preference. Of course, since neither they, nor anyone in their families nor anyone they actually know has ever served, the Veteran’s preference is an obstacle to packing the civil service with cronies.
Rita R.
10 or 15 minutes so far on earmarks??? John King is awful.
Raven
@Soonergrunt: So it’s gone? Last time I was involved was when I got a sort-lived job with the Post Office in 72. Thank god I got fired.
Soonergrunt
@Gex: That’s only in other countries where they still have Catholic birthing homes. Not that they wouldn’t bring that shit back in a heartbeat if they could.
freelancer (iPhone)
“earmarksers” Man, Santorum is fucking up with the polysyllabic vote tonight. Fortunately for him, he wants Republican votes right now.
scav
@Rita R.: 10 or 15 minutes on earmarks? Clearly that will leave a mark on ears.
(ok, yes, obvious)
MikeJ
@Rita R.: Especially since earmarks are arguably exactly what congress should be doing. Republicans still want an imperial presidency though, so I suppose they’re just being consistent.
Baud
@Rita R.:
Actual Chris Hays tweet:
Raven
“Reasonable People can Disagree. Kiss my fucking ass you punk.
Linda Featheringill
Do anyone know any run-of-the-mill person who actually cares about earmarks?
Sheez!
Baud
Who can forget that Mitt Romney op-ed: “Let Detroit go through managed bankruptcy.”
Chris
@lamh34:
Anytime. You just have to go to mass at some point. The latest service offered at the church across the street from me was at 6:30PM, and there are other churches that offer it even later than that.
pseudonymous in nc
@Baud: Mittens, apparently, when he went after Obama.
WaterGirl
@Comrade Mary: I saw that, too. I just poked around in the archives. Here is the link to the first debate where JGabriel came up with Man on Dog, etc.
https://balloon-juice.com/2012/01/03/the-iowa-shit-show/#comment-2968327
Maybe someone can let the Guardian know.
pseudonymous in nc
@BenA:
You can’t have Mardi Gras (or Carnival, aka carne vale) without the ashes once it’s over.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Linda Featheringill: Tea-bagger bait. Remember Grifterella sneering about fruit-fly research in Paris, France, Ikidyounot? And it turned out it was an international research project that had made major advances in treating autism?
Soonergrunt
@Raven: I was reacting to your post. The Vet pref isn’t gone as far as I know, but it has been reworked. Now, HR office sorts resumes, and pulls out the qualified ones from the non-qualified ones, regardless of Vet preference. Only after a pool of qualified applicants is made are any preferences applied.
Rita R.
I don’t know if the Fab Four are rusty or what, but this is one of the worst debates of the 20 (21?) they’ve held. Maybe it’ll perk up when the “social issues” are up and Santorum gets to let his freak flag fly.
pseudonymous in nc
Ah, let’s play ‘bash the UAW’ for agreeing with the Big 3 to take the cost of retirement benefits off their books and giving them a better financial foundation after the bailout. Idiots.
You’d think they know that the UAW counted a lot of Reagan Democrats among their membership in Michigan.
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Gotcha.
freelancer (iPhone)
@Rita R.:
John King just said “faith” was coming up as a topic. Pleez o pleez can we get an Angels dancing on pinheads discussion brewing with this Algonquin roundtable?
freelancer (iPhone)
Omg. They booed Birth Control!
Raven
Holy fucking shit is there anything this fat motherfucker won’t say.
Boudica
They’re not answering the birth control question.
MikeJ
@freelancer (iPhone): I hope that all the questions on faith are asked in Aramaic.
Baud
@freelancer (iPhone):
They booed the issue because they know they can’t win on it.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: Due respect, Brother, but fuck you.
I had a flutter there for a moment. I’m in the running for a GS-12/13 job, and my 10-point preference makes up for the fact that I haven’t been a GS-11 long enough.
calliope jane
I appreciate that all of you are watching so I don’t have to.
But I can share some ‘fun’ Arizona news. http://www.azcentral.com/news/politics/articles/2012/02/20/20120220arizona-legislature-releases-budget.html
State (republican-controlled) legislature just released the budget — this past Monday — and approved it on Tuesday. Less than 24 hours! Impressive, yes?
And what does this budget include? Or not include, really:
– Eliminate the Office of Tourism!
– Cut funding to health-care providers for the developmentally disabled. Rep. Fillmore, R-Apache Junction, “Invited the private sector to create job opportunities so the disabled could work and reduce dependence on state aid.”
– Eliminate the State Capital Postconviction Public Defender Office. Clearly the state isn’t executing people fast enough.
– No money for school construction! In fact, no money to help education of any kind (particularly for all kids who can’t read good. Sen. Shooter (R-Yuma), Senate Appropriations Chair: “Said money isn’t the answer to everything. ‘I think my grandparents learned to read by that time (3rd grade)’ without the advantages of students today.'”
“Money is not the answer to everything” is going to be my response to their yearly proposal to raise their own salaries (voters have to approve it).
pseudonymous in nc
@freelancer (iPhone):
By which he means ‘sexytime, ladyparts and homosexualists.’
Ken
@Spaghetti Lee: Patrick Bateman, Gollum, and Ward Cleaver as I like to call them.
More of an Eddie Haskell, surely? Sweet and smarmy to those in authority, but inside just a little sh*t.
John O
FSM I hate these people in a very non-violent way.
freelancer (iPhone)
@Baud:
They booed the Pill. In 2012. And Ron Paul thinks there are too many immoral sluts in America. And then Mitt brings up out of wedlock births again. Who knew bastards were a national security priority? In 2012. Fer fuck’s sake.
Raven
@Soonergrunt: I’m missin something here. When I said I thought “Modern Management System” meant that the vets preference would go away and you said “just after I qualified for a 10-point preference.” I thought you meant it had gone away. Not sure what it was that that prompted the return fire but, believe me, no harm intended from here.
ever
freelancer (iPhone)
There’s a flip side to this argument about religious freedom and government enforcement if you’re a prospective gay parent. These straight men could give a fuck about your fitness as a parent and your right to be one. Fuck them.
Rita R.
@Boudica:
‘Course not, because they’re idiots or hypocrites or both, so they bemoan children born out of wedlock and the “destruction of the family” at the same time as they slam birth control. Because only unmarried sluts use bc.
freelancer
Earlier Santorum said “The difference between me and the left is that I won’t use the government to enforce my morality.”
He JUST SAID: “I will defund Planned Parenthood.”
urlhix
Little Ricky is doing very poorly.
pseudonymous in nc
Gosh, who would want the tyranny of having the state provide healthcare free at the point of delivery, based upon need rather than the ability to pay!
Soonergrunt
@Raven: I thought you knew something I didn’t, which is to say that the Vet’s preference was going away. I was commenting on the irony of the Vet’s preference being discarded right as I was actually getting it, which is just about my luck.
The FU was meant more sideways and in that (relatively) good natured barracks-roommate kind of way than anything.
I took no offense, and I certainly meant none. Please forgive and we’ll drive on.
Anne Laurie
Oh, joy, we just got into the Perteck Our Boordors portion of the debate. Ron Paul seems to have come out in favor of shooting undocumented immigrants “for trespassing“.
Rita R.
They are just babbling now. Channels have to be changing all over America. I don’t think any of the candidates will get a bump from what’s gone on tonight, at least not so far.
Raven
@Soonergrunt: FIDO bro.
I got thrown in jail for underage drinking 10 days after I came home at 19 and 9 months. When I turned 21 the lowered the drinking age in Illinois to 19! That was some irony.
urlhix
Hating on brown people time.
Edit: unless you are a homeowner. Fancy that.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: They raised the drinking age in Colorado from 18 to 21 just three weeks before I turned 18. My cousin got grandfathered in, because she turned 18 two days before the limit.
jl
@freelancer: He is not enforcing his morality, Rih is defending your from Satan. You should thank him.
Baud
Newt hates demagogic speeches.
Baud
Define yourself using one word: Santorum’s word is Santorum
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Google is lovely today in honor of Heinrich Hertz, who’d have been 155 had he lived that long. Today is also National Margarita Day (true story). After dinner (blue corn enchilada with shredded sirloin in mole sauce) the restaurant owner handed me a “coca cola to go” which was in fact the celebratory beverage in a go cup with a straw. He’s a good man and thus I’m prepared to read the live blogs of the debate.
Rita R.
@Baud:
haha! Self-awareness isn’t one of Newtie’s gifts.
jl
Lightning round.
Who will win?
Did Mitt just say ‘resolute’?
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Timing is everything!
Satanicpanic
Commander in chief of the military. I have no commander in chief, except my wife badump bum.
Rita R.
Total Warfare? Isn’t that a video game?
pseudonymous in nc
Santorum is remarkably incoherent. Gosh, you mean the best organised opposition to secular Arab dictators is Islamic?
Well, I suppose you should have thought about that with Iraq, you fuckwit. Christians there haven’t been doing so well for a while.
jl
Santorum does not seem to be aware that the major Iranian opposition groups assert the right of Iran to have a nuclear program.
Edit: has King challenged them on any of their idiocies?
Santorum is at it again, spinning fantasies. Rih is nuts, or a vicious liar, probably both.
Jeff Boatright
@Soonergrunt: Holy Family in Tulsa? Small world; I was there from about ’69 to ’76.
DanielX
Punchline from Get Your Vote On by David Rees…
Yeah, but Santorum has the one advantage that money can’t buy: He’s not a prick millionaire named Mitt Romney.
goethean
Romney: Syria is Iran’s path to the sea.
Huh?
Soonergrunt
Holy Family in Grand Junction, Colorado, Actually.
Boudica
Gas is $6 in Florida? Really?
Boudica
I am so depressed by how bad these candidates are…
Boudica
How much of the homeschooling does Rick do?
DanielX
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero):
You might want to tone down the drill baby drill if Newticles is listening; he just MIGHT take it the wrong way and be provoked into all kinds of sordid, lewd and lascivious behavior.
Note to self: lascivious may not technically be an onomatopoeia, but it sure sounds like what it describes, at least to my lowdown dirty mind.
piratedan
@Boudica: just means that we have to make sure that none of them have a chance in the election, neh?
SiubhanDuinne
@Raven:
True story: in about 1966 or ’67, my kid brother painted his VW bug to look like an American flag. Not a political statement, he just thought it would be cool. He was arrested by Chicago cops, tossed in jail. ACLU heard about his case, defended him pro bono. They went to the local Woolworth’s and bought every tacky flag-bedecked mug, t-shirt, ashtray etc. they could find, dumped them on the judge’s bench like the letters to Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34th Street, and he found in favor of my brother.
Today, that brother is the most wingnutty Tea Partier you could ever hope to find. I cannot find a moral in this story.
suzanne
I went to high school less than a mile from where they’re holding that debate in Mesa. I go to that arts center all the time.
I’M SO DEPRESSED.
GET OUTTA MY STATE.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Richard Adams:
Last question is an election-ish question about the biggest misconception the public has about each candidate.
In Romney’s case, there is no misconception, and so he ignores it and just makes a straight pitch for votes. When King politely enquires why he’s not even pretending to answer the question
Romney replies: “You get to ask the question you want and I get to give the answer I want.”
Romney channels the Great Northern Grifter! And he’s totally straightforward about it.
jl
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
‘ Romney replies: “You get to ask the question you want and I get to give the answer I want.” ‘
I turned off the POS debate, but I am sure Romney said that in that smiling aw shucks way that Godhead Reagan used.
Or maybe he said it like a bad swindler breaking into an angry panicked flop sweat… Naw, that would never happen.
urlhix
Watching the CNN after party. Son of Eric is a moron (obvious). My wife just got back from a Women For Obama event here in the deep south. They are riled up and ready to mobilize.
freelancer
@suzanne:
We surround THEM.
suzanne
@freelancer: I can’t decide who I hate the most.
suzanne
@freelancer: We shoulda had an Arizona BJ meetup right in front of the Mesa Arts Center. That would have been fun.
freelancer
@suzanne:
Agreed. I’ve been here six months and given my interactions, I still can’t believe how right wing the state is. Most people I meet are hella reasonable. I’m guessing the winger contingent comes from the huge influx of wealthy, ancient wingnuts this state services in the form of retirees who only interact with each other.
suzanne
@freelancer: Eh, there’s lots of young gun nuts, too. And all the Republicans who smoke weed. (Which is pretty much all of Tucson.)
freelancer
@suzanne:
lol, one of my best friends since I’ve been down here is a total pothead from Tuscon by way of Guadalajara. He’s by no means a Republican. Another close friend is from Glendale and he’s big into guns, but I’ve been able to see his argument. We’ve gone out shooting twice since I’ve been here with a friend and Army vet who has a collection of impressive historical rifles and have since been of the mindset of “When in Rome” regarding AZ’s firearms culture and the Second Amendment. In practice, I’ve seen responsible gun ownership and have made my voice known when I see irresponsibility.
I have a .22 pistol and a .22 rifle, and I agree that it should be harder to get a gun than to get a driver’s license. That a sick fuck like Jared Loughner with his history of mental illness could collect them with impugnity illustrates the corrective balance that needs to change.