Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

White supremacy is terrorism.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

The revolution will be supervised.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Painful to Watch

Reader Interactions

80Comments

  5. 5.

    Roc

    Rather than being caught-out and desperately trying to think of things to claim he ‘loved’, I get the impression he was trying to figure out the political implications of claiming to love any particular thing.

    And that actually strikes me as worse.

  6. 6.

    The Dangerman

    If I were his campaign manager, I’d embed some electric device in his underwear for each time he went off script and started winging it. And up the voltage as necessary.

  7. 7.

    No One of Consequence

    I love LAMP.

    Ok, maybe not love.

    But it *is* a very stable (and versatile) web solution.

    – NOoC

  10. 10.

    Another Halocene Human

    Painful to watch? No, more of a shaggy dog, and the punchline is AFSCME. Brilliant.

    “…We take out your fucking garbage…”

  11. 11.

    JGabriel

    Shorter Mitt: I just know I can bond with these humans if we can find common ground — and lakes, and cars, and right-heighted trees.

    .

  12. 12.

    Betty Cracker

    It is painful. Even though I despise these people, their floundering can occasionally move me to pity. Like when Jan Brewer froze up during the debate and started babbling nonsense after a protracted silence.

  13. 13.

    cathyx

    That was funny. It’s like he’s trying to think of some more “Michigan” things to say that he loves. And looking around for a clue.

  15. 15.

    Baud

    It reminds me a little of that awful Rick Perry speech in New Hampshire. Not quite that bad, but in the same genre.

  16. 16.

    fasteddie9318

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who immediately thought of Brick when I saw that clip the first time.

  18. 18.

    WaterGirl

    @JGabriel: OT, but did you see the image of “dog on car” and “man on dog” yesterday at the Guardian’s life blog? I dug up the original BJ thread where you came up with that, and posted it on the debate thread on BJ, but i didn’t actually contact the guardian.

  21. 21.

    MarkJ

    The trees are the right height? I’m from Michigan and, although I love the State, I never noticed anything particularly special about the height of the trees.

    Must take a cyborgs extra-accurate optical lenses to discern that Michigan’s trees are just the right height in comparison to, say, Massachusetts’s.

  23. 23.

    noodler

    It’s the syntax, stupid. Who says “one square foot of car” How about Bumper, fender, hood ornament?
    Who says I’ll bet you ten thousand dollars?
    Who says I’m a severe conservative?
    Where does he come up with these sayings? They’re not in our vernacular

  24. 24.

    Baud

    @Betty Cracker:

    Even though I despise these people, their floundering can occasionally move me to pity.

    Next time, watch the clip while undergoing a state-mandated trans-vaginal ultrasound. It’ll cure that pity thing right up. ;)

  27. 27.

    Martin

    We need to send him to a Michigan NAACP conference so he can tell us how he loves that all Michiganders are just the right shade of brown.

  28. 28.

    gogol's wife

    @Betty Cracker:

    I pity only those of us who know better but have to share a country with idiots who would even consider voting for people like Brewer and Romney.

  33. 33.

    WaterGirl

    Mitt kind of reminded me of cocker spaniel of old. If she wanted something, she would sit, lie down, offer her paw, roll over…

    She would try each thing in turn, desperately trying to figure out what I wanted so she could do it and get whatever it was.

    It felt like Mitt was throwing stuff out there, desperately hoping for some response he hoped to get from his Michigan Love. He was trying so hard, it really was hard to watch. Cringe-worthy. Mitt, you’re trying too hard, and that’s really un-cool.

  35. 35.

    Suffern ACE

    @Southern Beale: I’ll go with hoax. While caribbean island ambassadorships are nice, they aren’t as nice as ambassadorships to major US allies. I wouldn’t pay $1,000,000 to be the Ambassador to Aruba. I would want Paris or London for that kind of dough and they are selling those off for $600,000.

    Carribean Island nations are also more plentiful than major US allies. Supply and demand should set the price.

  37. 37.

    Jesse

    @Southern Beale: On what authority could the PAC make such an offer? Wouldn’t that kind of thing—if it were real at all—need to come directly from the Romney campaign? It comes off to me as a “former Nigerian king”-type email. It smells bogus.

  38. 38.

    scav

    Pander­Pander­Pander­DotThePartsOfMichigan­Pander­Pander­Pander­RightHeight­Pander­Pander and then the quick “I want to do well.”

    We hear you’re running for election too. Can’t have you not liking things under those circumstances, hope nope nope.

  39. 39.

    Mark S.

    Wow, where did you find that? Are they usually this blatant about this shit? I’m having a hard time believing it’s real.

    Also, too, wouldn’t being an ambassador to “a major US ally” be a hell of a lot more prestigious than an ambassador to a Caribbean country?

  40. 40.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Joseph Nobles: T&R’d for the Howard the Duck reference. To paraphrase the first line I ever read of that anything-but-featherbrain (it’s the opening panel of one of the comix), Mitt

    came back to Michigan to nurse an old memory & discovered the patient had died.

  46. 46.

    Betty Cracker

    @noodler: Good point about the car thing. Bumper, fender, hood ornament — tail light, god help us, yes. “Square foot,” no. Makes me want to send the bastard a close-up of 1/8th of a 1967 Camaro hood and see what he makes of that monochromatic, featureless square. You’re right. Who the hell says that?

  48. 48.

    scav

    Someday there will be a Nigerian Prince with a sense of humor and they will own the internets. Because access to a bank number was all that was missing from that thing and it might even work.

  50. 50.

    JGabriel

    @WaterGirl:

    @JGabriel: OT, but did you see the image of “dog on car” and “man on dog” yesterday at the Guardian’s life blog?

    I did not, but thank you for pointing it out. I’ll take a look at it later.

    .

  52. 52.

    sock puppet

    If I recall correctly, the Steve Carell character in Anchorman Romney is being compared to here, sired 11 children and became a top aide to President Bush. So Mitt probably feels a certain kinship to him. He, too, probably once ate a
    “chocolate squirrel”.

  55. 55.

    Culture of Truth

    What is not a hoax is Romney’s career helping Marriott cheat on their taxes with a bunch of illegal, fraudulent schemes, including phony tax credits and a dummy corporation in Luxemburg.

  59. 59.

    kasnarski

    are newbies always in moderation for a period of time to establish worthiness or will I forever be stuck in moderation hell on this site?

  60. 60.

    FuriousPhil

    As a Michigander, I could maybe see this guy fitting in with some Oakland county types – Birmingham, Troy. If he’s trying to connect with the rest of us, well…Mitt is like the man who comes from nowhere, any regional charm is scoured away in a facade of bland.

    Some pointers Mitt – tell them you like Vernors, pasties (sort of U.P. pot pies, not stripper accessories), deer hunting up past M-46, jacked up off road trucks, and Mackinaw fudge next time.

    This is like the rock band that forgets what city they’re in. “Hello, Detroit!” “THIS IS CLEVELAND!” “Nice trees you guys have here!” “THEY HAVE THOSE EVERYWHERE!”

  63. 63.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    @Southern Beale:

    Umm … HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I don’t know if this is for real or not but if it is, Romney should be TOAST.

    I think it would be irresponsible to not assume it’s real.

  65. 65.

    gbear

    Well at least Rmoney didn’t make a point about how much he loved all of Michigan’s beautiful ash trees.

  66. 66.

    Violet

    @kasnarski:
    Your first post goes into moderation until you get cleared. I think that may apply if you change your name or email address too.

    After that, it’s the usual suspects that send you to mod: mention of certain games, and the venues in which they are played, in places like Las V e gas. The common name for footwear. Med i cations men take to assist with performance in the bedroom. Soshulism. Etc.

  70. 70.

    lacp

    @noodler: It finally came to me where I had heard this kind of weirdness before. Remember some years back when computer-generated poetry was a novelty? This shit sounds just like that.

  71. 71.

    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)

    Wow… just wow…. Okay, not breakin’ any new ground here, but what a pathetic, desperate robot. Does this guy love anything besides his own voice, hair and money?

  73. 73.

    Brandon

    So when does DOJ raid AFCME, freeze their accounts and confiscate their computers for copyright infringement?

  75. 75.

    Nancy Irving

    Notice how R-Money refers to the “brand” rather than the “make” of cars? That should go over big in MI.

  78. 78.

    Jebediah

    @MarkJ:

    Must take a cyborgs extra-accurate optical lenses to discern that Michigan’s trees are just the right height in comparison to, say, Massachusetts’s.

    I grew up in Massachusetts. Fucking wrong-heighted trees are everywhere there! It’s why I had to move to California.

  79. 79.

    Blue Lanterne

    And he even manages to slide in a touch of xenophobia, what a pro.

    Thank goodness no one asked him to describe good things he remembered about his mother.

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