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You are here: Home / Open Threads / What they want, I don’t know, they’re all reved up and ready to go

What they want, I don’t know, they’re all reved up and ready to go

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At some point(s) tonight, the liberal Hollywood communists will say or do something that makes the wingers foam at the mouth. I don’t know what it will be, there’s so many possibilities, and I’m not as adept with winger hermeneutics as I used to be.

If I’m Rick Santorum (sorry for the Grudenese, but there’s no off-season anymore), I’m thinking about turning Michelle Williams’ Palestinian scarf or Viola Davis’s terror fist pump or whatever into a Two Minutes Hate fund-raising, attention-getting opportunity. Use this an open thread to comment on the Oscar moments that might get the right riled up (remember, it could just as easily happen on the red carpet as during the awards ceremony itself).

Update. Here’s the mistake I think Republican candidates make: they wait for Rush or Drudge to find something crazy to yell about, then they fall in behind them and yell about it too. They should be more pro-active, have a staff that finds crazy stuff to scream about, and get out in front of the Two Minutes Hate. Sarah Palin is good about this, “death panels” was a big hit for her. Why don’t the presidential candidates take more fliers on things like that? When it pans out, it can be political gold.

Update. I just tuned in. Why is Billy Crystal dressed as a matador?

Reader Interactions

238Comments

  1. 1.

    chopper

    if only brokeback mountain came out this last year, they could make so many santorum jokes tonight.

  2. 2.

    redshirt

    I hope one of the winners gives a huge shout out to Obama and Rih decides that proves LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD is 100% supporting Obama, and brainwashing our children and voters via TV and Movies.

    Good Republican Christians only watch Christian channels, run by Christians, for Christians.

  4. 4.

    Mark S.

    There’s also the NBA All Star game. It’s always possible that Kevin Durant or Derrick Rose might slip and praise Allah after the game.

  5. 5.

    Brian R.

    If I’m Rick Santorum (sorry for the Grudenese, but there’s no off-season anymore)

    THAT GUY can really bring the crazy talk. In fact, I’d say of all the NUTJOBS in the GRAND OLD PARTY, THAT GUY is the best at the crazy talk. Man, I love THAT GUY!

  11. 11.

    David Koch

    They’re gonna be pissed when Octavia Spencer and Viola Davis speed away in their purple cadillacs, drinking gin and juice outta their oscar statuettes.

  12. 12.

    General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)

    Reading memorandum on the current goings on, especially with Santorum’s religious puke funnel set on rock and roll, I’m only getting murky vibes of despair from the propeller head krews on the right. Stacey McCain or Jim Hoft can always be counted on for cranking up the outrage organ regardless of reality. And then there is always Atlas Juggs calling for her usual sustained carpet bombing of Islam. I wonder if mere actors and the like can move the wingers much these days. They seem to have gone beyond the usual hot buttons, into either a suicidal crouch, or Peak Wingnut worthy mindlessness.

  14. 14.

    JGabriel

    DougJ:

    Use this an open thread to comment on the Oscar moments that might get the right riled up …

    When The Help cast gets uppity.

    .

  20. 20.

    Chyron HR

    Nah. I predict that whatever movie wins big will be retroactively hailed as a piece of Conservative Art, which proves that America is on their side and liberalism is doomed.

    See also: Ghostbusters, a film in which a group of scientists discover that the world is in peril from a certain phenomenon, and the secondary villain is a buffoon who claims that they’re just perpetrating a hoax in order to get rich. But it’s totally conservative because EPA LOLZ.

  24. 24.

    Raven

    “And the winners are…Indiana, 86–68.”

    Actor and basketball fan Elliott Gould ripped open the envelope and made that announcement at the Academy Awards just as he was supposed to name the winner of the Oscar for Best Film Editing, Monday night, March 29. Then the world knew what Bobby Knight and his unbeaten Hoosiers had wrought.”

  25. 25.

    lamh35

    I’m not gonna really watch the actual telecast. I usually DVR these things then read liveblogs of the events and go back to the telecast later.

    I do watch the red carpet though, and first of all I just gotta say Colin Firth….hmmmm!

    Also, shout out to Viola Davis who looked beautiful on the carpet rockin’ a Natural ‘Do. As an African American female who wears her hair natural, it was all the rage with all my friends.

    Viola Davis

    Viola Davis Hairdo

  26. 26.

    Comrade Mary

    What did Cohen do with sand? I tuned into red carpet and saw Ryan whatsisface in a snit about it.

  27. 27.

    JGabriel

    Someone will make a Santorum double (or triple) entendre, and Man on Dog will call it a blood libel.

    .

  28. 28.

    Suffern ACE

    Well they’ve come out strongly against kids movies that offer messages like hope and cooperation. I’m sure whatever takes the best animated feature Oscar will get the treatment it deserves.

  31. 31.

    Quarks

    @Comrade Mary: He came in with an urn full of the “ashes” of Kim Jong II and then dumped them on Ryan Seacrest, making the Twitterverse all happy if only for a brief moment of unity.

  32. 32.

    eric

    In the spirit of the Gruden reference, I am going to channel Hubie Brown: ” you are george clooney and you are a mega-star in this league. you can say whatever you want and no one can stop you. you can pass to your supporting cast or you can take it to the hole strong and finish with the ladies. You are the a-list of the a-list. You can dominate the stage with your presence and put Obama up there on your shoulders and pronounce him jesus. you gotta finish the play and make santorum work into a lather trying to attack your remarks. Go big fella. Go.”

  33. 33.

    Karen

    I have to admit that tomorrow I’ll be watching Fashion Police and their…er…critique of the clothes worn on the Red Carpet. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine. Well, not so guilty pleasure but ever since Brokeback lost, I lost interest in the Oscars themselves.

  35. 35.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Well, Betsy McCaughey thought up ‘death panels.’ Don’t know how it got from her to Palin, though I’d make an educated guess that William Kristol was involved.

    I actually think there’s a landmine of wingnut butthurt just waiting to be stepped on at this show. Best Foreign Picture favorite is Iranian, the Frenchies behind The Artist will win a lot, two black women could win best actress and supporting actress…getcha popcorn ready!

  36. 36.

    Spaghetti Lee

    I’ll be watching the Oscars, myself. Pompous, bloated, irrelevant, throw whatever words you want at it (and it’s not a very great year for cinema either, imho), but I just like ’em. I like nostalgia and tradition. And I assume that this year James Franco has a restraining order of 5,000 feet.

    ETA: I will say that I could not possibly give even half a damn about the dresses, fashions, etc. Probably my Y chromosome.

  37. 37.

    Karen

    @Suffern ACE:

    They’re already bitching about the Lorax and it’s liberal message from liberal Hollywood but if they should be bitching at anyone, it should be Dr. Seuss who wrote the story long ago. They just need to make a movie from some conservative children’s author talking about how fresh air causes cancer or how polluted drinking water is actually healthier than clean water.

  38. 38.

    Baud

    So which one of the Republican presidential candidates is going to win Best Actor in a Comedy this year?

  39. 39.

    JPL

    Chris Dodd appeared to enjoy his red carpet treatment. It must be nice retiring from the Senate and becoming a lobbyist for Hollywood.

  40. 40.

    JPL

    @Spaghetti Lee: Rush will have a good day tomorrow explaining how we are all going to hell and the President doesn’t believe the USA is the bestest country ever.

    I actually think there’s a landmine of wingnut butthurt just waiting to be stepped on at this show. Best Foreign Picture favorite is Iranian, the Frenchies behind The Artist will win a lot, two black women could win best actress and supporting actress…getcha popcorn ready!

  41. 41.

    sandy

    why isn’t The Star Spangled Banner sung at the beginning of it? what are they, too good to show some patriotism? in a time of war.

  43. 43.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Suffern ACE:

    No Pixar and no Ghibli makes for slim pickins’. If Kung Fu Panda wins it will have as many oscars as Martin Scorsese.

    @Karen:

    Can I just strangle everyone involved with that movie? It was one of my favorites as a kid and they could have made something really important out of it if they cared, but no, they had to go for another easy-money bullshit Shrek ripoff. I’d be surprised if the green message even makes it through all the stupid.

  45. 45.

    Hawes

    Contrarily, when will the wingers applaud Cohen for stealing Kim Jong Il’s ashes? Sometimes they get behind a joke without realizing it’s a joke.

    OTOH, they could point out that Hollywood hangs out with dictators…

  48. 48.

    lamh35

    @Karen: I actually got to admit, I love Fashion Police and whatever her age, Joan Rivers is as sharp as a tack with her witticisms and she is very verbally quick on her feet.

  49. 49.

    Comrade Mary

    OK, who could do a good job as a host, assuming that Ricky Gervais is permanently persona non grata?

  50. 50.

    Southern Beale

    In case y’all missed this …

    A banker left a 1% tip in defiance of ‘the 99%’ at a Newport Beach restaurant the other week, according to his dining companion and underling who snapped a photo of the receipt and posted it to his blog, Future Ex Banker. (Update: the blog is now offline.)
    __
    The “tip” of his own in this case was to tell the server to “get a real job.” Pleasant.

    What. An. Asshole.

  53. 53.

    David Koch

    This is obama’s fault.

    He should have called in a drone strike once he saw Crystal was bombing.

  54. 54.

    lamh35

    @David Koch: @Comrade Mary:

    yeah, not good at all. I know the Academy regrets trying to go younger last year with Anne Hathaway and James Franco, but I think they just weren’t the right fit.

    My dream host is Neil Patrick Harris, Jimmy Kimmel, or Jimmy Fallon/

  55. 55.

    Svensker

    @MaxxLange:

    Clooney gets ALL the ass

    Does anyone else think that George Clooney is in the closet? He’s very handsome, but something does not ring hetero to me.

  57. 57.

    lamh35

    @Svensker:

    Clooney does sometimes give that Rock Hudson, Cary Grant kinda vibe.

    What I do notice though, is that Clooney’s girlfriends keep getting younger as he gets older.

  59. 59.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Comrade Mary:

    I wonder if it’s even possible. It seems like you’ve got to be both entertaining and magnetic, but also deferent to the actual winners, and basically starting over trying to re-win the audience after every commercial break with a new skit without getting tiresome. Seems like it’s just a thankless task. Could they just do away with the host and have the presenters be the only people who speak?

  62. 62.

    lamh35

    I want Captain Von Trapp…I mean Christopher Plummer to win for Best Supporting Actor Is Maria…sorry, Julie Andrews here to give him his Oscar?

  63. 63.

    Stephanie

    The Muppets Movie is nominated for best song. That’s proof America is heading down the slippery slope to communism.

  67. 67.

    Southern Beale

    Well godammit. Husband said he was going to DVR the Oscars so we could watch the Amazing Race, and we’d fast forward thru the commercials to catch up with the Oscars. Guess who forgot to DVR the Oscars, though?

    So what have I missed? How is Billy Crystal>

  69. 69.

    JGabriel

    @lamh35:

    I know the Academy regrets trying to go younger last year with Anne Hathaway and James Franco, but I think they just weren’t the right fit.

    Franco was the wrong fit. Put Anne up there by herself or as co-host with someone that has experience on a stage — like Hugh Jackman or Neil Patrick Harris, or a comedian like Patton Oswalt — and she’ll do fine.

    .

  70. 70.

    Comrade Mary

    You missed — not much. Crystal has been awful, and the cinematography, art design, makesup and costume awards have been given out.

    Foreign film and supporting actress coming up.

  83. 83.

    Southern Beale

    Debbie Schlussel ‏is still a horrible person. She just tweeted:

    Was Sandra Bullock’s Mom a Female Nazi Camp Guard? Just Wonderin’

    … because Bullock just introduced the best foreign film award category by speaking a few words of Germam.

  90. 90.

    David Koch

    Oh Gawd!

    First the Iranians, now the darkies. And they’re giving her a standing ovation, no less. Hollywood is really sticking it to the heartland.

  93. 93.

    Southern Beale

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    LOLZ. You’re right. My bad. I shouldn’t enable this shit.

    Well, the wingnut brigade is gonna freak out over Iran getting the best foreign language film award anyway. Schlussel picked the wrong thing to be an ass about. She should be complaining about Liberal Hollywood being a bunch of terrorist appeasers by reward the Axis of Evil with a big prize.

  95. 95.

    JPL

    @Spaghetti Lee: Now I went to her twitter..

    When Billy Crystal Made That Crack About Super Tuesday Choice of Crack Addict, He Must’ve Meant Obama

    Is the President running against the repubs on Super Tuesday? I’m confused..

  97. 97.

    Spaghetti Lee

    You know, I think some of Crystal’s jokes would be quite good if he didn’t stop to smirk for three seconds after each one.

  100. 100.

    lamh35

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    IDK, that Blacks in Beverly Hills joke was awkward…

    This whole telecast in kinda off. I guess the Eddie Murphy and Brett Ratner telecast was to target younger viewers, but this telecast seems as if the producers just gave up on the young viewers.

    I mean the Guest focus group was great, but they are age-limited if ya know what I mean.

  104. 104.

    Mike G

    @Silver:

    The one that makes a scene about “Senna” getting snubbed gets my vote.

    This.
    I went to see it at the Landmark in West LA (ground zero for the movie biz crowd) last year and the theater was packed for every showing, so I thought it might get some recognition at Oscar time. But they always seem to go for “message-y” or sentimental topics.

  105. 105.

    JPL

    Three..Hugo.. One..The Artist
    just sayin

    edit..it would have been hard for the artist to win a sound mixing oscar though…

  107. 107.

    Southern Beale

    So I gather from her Twitter feed that Debbie Schlussel hates Sandra Bullock because Bullock’s ex-husband had an affair with a stripper who once posed for a picture wearing a swastika armband. Yeah, FUCK HER the anti-Semite bitch! /sarcasm

  109. 109.

    rikyrah

    @Svensker:

    And here I am thinking Clooney is the most honest guy in the room. been married, tells everyone, I’m not getting married…so, don’t think you can change me.

  111. 111.

    Mike G

    @lamh35:

    Hathaway was OK but Franco was a mess.
    Billy Crystal I find tiresomely smug.

    I’d like to see Stephen Colbert host the Oscars.

  119. 119.

    RandomChick

    FYI – I know John was talking about looking forward to the new series “Awake”. I just went to the NBC web site to check the premiere date and saw they have a sneak preview available.

    You can watch the whole premiere episode online NOW. I’m about half way through it in another window. So far, no commercials. I’ve never even heard of a station letting viewers watch a show free online before it’s even been aired.

    BTW, it is pretty damn good. I think this might be a must-see series.

  121. 121.

    PeakVT

    @JPL: Looks like “bits” – which serves up the CSS – is hosed ATM.

    ETA: @RandomChick: “Buzz” is essential in social-media world. Looks like a good move by NBC, if your reaction is typical.

  128. 128.

    Peregrinus

    @Poopyman:

    I’ll second this (’cause I forgot to type it up) – CdS is amazing live. Especially if they decide to do one of their more comedic shows. It’s amazing how funny they can be while still being visually impressive and completely and utterly silent.

  130. 130.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    All I can find out is that Wikipedia apparently (briefly) fell victim to a hoax report saying Rowan Atkinson had died, but I wouldn’t think that would be enough to freeze the entire site.

  131. 131.

    PeakVT

    @JPL: Still hosed … no, just slow, for me. Wikipedia is probably being hammered right now as everybody tries to update Oscars-related pages.

  132. 132.

    Mnemosyne

    I’m just waiting around for Viola Davis to win. I know it’s more for her 20 years of great work than because The Help was a particularly good movie, but I’m okay with that.

    I still wish Melissa McCarthy had won for Best Supporting, but I think Bridesmaids was just too dirty for the Academy to reward.

  133. 133.

    Suffern ACE

    I did think rango was the best animated feature I saw during the past year. I’m surprised that tin tin and toy story 3 weren’t nominated.

  137. 137.

    Joel

    @Quarks: I feel like his gig is up. He was hilarious in Da Ali G show (it helped to have guys like Seth Rogen writing lines for him, too) but his comedy doesn’t translate to movies and his pranksterism worked better when he had the element of surprise.

    Whenever I see Sacha Baron Cohen being unfunny, I watch some Ali G clips and remember the good times…

  138. 138.

    amk

    Chris Rock: “I like animation because you can play anything. If you’re a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you’re a black man you can play a donkey, or a zebra! “.

    Zing.

  140. 140.

    Mnemosyne

    Why are all of these men so short? Seriously. It seems like every actress is about a foot taller than her co-presenter.

  147. 147.

    David Koch

    Oh Jeezus.

    First Iran, then blacks, and now an Oscar for a gay character. Gay Jewish Hollywood is rubbing salt into the wound.

  151. 151.

    lamh35

    @Mnemosyne: yeah, I was hoping for a Melissa McCarthey upset, but alas it was not meant to be.

    But yay, Captain Von Trapp won for Best Supporting Actor. I wish he had sung Edelweiss just for DougJ.

  152. 152.

    sfinny

    Very happy about Plummer. I grew up watching him in various roles at the American Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford, CT. He was always amazing.

  157. 157.

    Comrade Mary

    BTW, that’s a gorgeous dress on Cruz, but it looks much darker here than outside on the red carpet, where it was more of a lilac.

  160. 160.

    Comrade Mary

    Huh. The composer for The Artist, an accordion player (!), looks like the missing Baldwin brother.

  165. 165.

    Southern Beale

    @lamh35:

    Oh we liked Hugo a lot. We paid the extra couple of clams and saw it in 3D which is totally not necessary. Probably would have enjoyed it more just as a regular movie. But it was good, not as cloying as I expected it to be.

  168. 168.

    Suffern ACE

    @southern Beale – glad you mentioned it. Something is off with the stage mic for presenters. They sound like auto tuned aliens.

  169. 169.

    amk

    twitter

    Even the greatest actors in the world are barely able to pretend to laugh./

    Apparently a dig at crystal’s lame ass jokes ?

    Bring back chris rock’s edgy humor, oscar ‘committee’.

  171. 171.

    lamh35

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    yeah, alot of the non-Billy bits are funny.

    BTW, I did love the Muppets movie and I’m kinda upset that they didn’t let the song nominees perform… there was only 2 of the damn things.

    Still glad the Muppets won something.

  172. 172.

    YellowJournalism

    Christopher Plummer won? Now I wish I was watching.

    Plummer is still a very sexy man. There. I said it. I felt the same way about Paul Newman.

  174. 174.

    David Koch

    PPP (Michigan): Romney 39, Man-on-Dog 37, Paultard 13, Gingrich 9

    C’mon, Santo, you can pull it out.

  181. 181.

    Southern Beale

    So tonight I found out that John Corbett, the cute guy from “Sex And The City” and “Northern Exposure,” has been in a relationship with Bo Derek for over 10 years.

  182. 182.

    lamh35

    @Southern Beale:

    agreed, the only things that seems to be of a healthy weight on Angelina is her lips, which thank God doesn’t get thinner as her body gets thiner.

    She’s beautiful, but I got back and see her in her past pre-Brad roles and she had some depth to her and still looked georg!

  185. 185.

    patrick II

    Iran and Pakistan, now if we can just work in an academy award to North Korea it will give Rih something to talk about until Super Tuesday.

  186. 186.

    patrick II

    @lamh35:
    When Angelina shot Mr. and Mrs. Smith she was absolutely gorgeous. Every time since she has been a little thinner, and now it seems worrying.

  188. 188.

    YellowJournalism

    Bridesmaids was a nice movie, but was overpraised. It has a few hilarious scenes but is not rolling-in-the-aisles funny. It’s quiet-funny.

  189. 189.

    Mnemosyne

    @lamh35:

    We’re both total film buffs (and Scorsese fans) so I think we’ll like it. It probably helps that we’ve both seen some of Georges Melies’ films.

    And I thought I was the only person in America who was disappointed they didn’t perform the songs. Come on, Oscars, WTH?!

  191. 191.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Mnemosyne:

    Well, for years now I’ve heard post-show complaining about how they don’t like the songs, and they’re too long, and they’re cheesy, and yada yada. Maybe people are just impossible to please.

  194. 194.

    Comrade Mary

    Waiot — there are now mass honorary awards given separately, then the recipients get to stand up in the audience? How long have they been doing this?

    OK, death reel coming up.

  205. 205.

    Comrade Mary

    Fuck! I had to turn the channel because they’re making the actors slobber all over each other before giving out the awards.

  208. 208.

    MikeJ

    @Southern Beale:

    Is it just me or is the sound off in the Oscar telecast? I’m hearing this weird beeping noise over the audio.

    Every good sound person in Hollywood is in the audience, only the b-team left to do the telecast. But yes, it sounds like shit.

  210. 210.

    martha

    @lamh35: It was good but not a “best picture” IMHO, but I think I’m going to get overruled tonight. But definitely worth seeing on the big screen IF you are one who can sit still for 2 hours w/o car chases, etc. (the guy next to me was NOT…he was in pain!)

  212. 212.

    Comrade Mary

    @Spaghetti Lee: If the writing and acting on stage were good, I’d be fine with this, but the presenters are always so stiff and nervous. I liked the old system of naming the actor and just showing them in a clip.

  215. 215.

    Mnemosyne

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Nah, I see her point — it’s weird that they make the presenter do the summary in the first person like they’re such a huge fan.

    At least they don’t do it as a group anymore. That was even weirder.

  226. 226.

    Mnemosyne

    Gah! Very irritating. I really wanted that career award for Viola Davis. But at least she seemed happy for Meryl.

  232. 232.

    Southern Beale

    @Yutsano:

    Our local Scientologists have been throwing their fucking literature in everyone’s driveway, basically littering the neighborhood for months. Guess they’re too cheap to actually buy a bulk mailing permit.

  234. 234.

    Mnemosyne

    In case you missed the announcement, the irony of The Artist is that it’s a French film that was filmed entirely in Los Angeles — in fact, it was the only one of the nominees to be filmed in LA.

  235. 235.

    amk

    tweet: Last year’s best picture: An English dude who couldn’t speak. This year’s: A French dude no one could hear. I’m speechless. So I guess I’ll win best picture next year.

  236. 236.

    some guy

    of the 3, I liked Puss better than Rango, but Panda 2 was the easiest to watch. a hard choice, but Rango had the widest narrative range and ingenuity of the 3. least formulaic, most bedazzling.

    still haven’t seen The Artist.

  237. 237.

    Yutsano

    @Southern Beale: Hey for-profit churches need to cut corners too. I’ve noticed a big ad push lately too, they had a sign on a Seattle city bus the other day. Of course the city is a bunch of whores for this bullshit.

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