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You are here: Home / Breitbart Still At the Front of the Noise Machine

Breitbart Still At the Front of the Noise Machine

by Anne Laurie|  March 1, 201212:53 pm| 171 Comments

This post is in: Assholes, Decline and Fall, Flash Mob of Hate

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Via NYMag‘s Daily Intel, Gawker does the first round-up of conspiracy theories about his death:

…”They killed Breitbart? Natural causes? What was natural cause? They use cancer to kill a lot of people. Ruby for one, Aaron Russo 4 another”…
__
“Andrew Breitbart was going to expose Barry’s colledge “issues” and now he’s dead. The Bush/Clinton clan kills again.”…
__
“Ok, I read Tom Clancy. Breitbart was definitely assassinated.”
…

And so Breitbart died the way he lived: surrounded by partisan rancor and conspiracy theories. He would have wanted it this way.

(For the record, I’m sad for his family. And Shirley Sherrod. And the ongoing existence of James O’Keefe.)

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Reader Interactions

171Comments

  1. 1.

    blackfrancis789

    March 1, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Also sad for the demise of ACORN.

  2. 2.

    4tehlulz

    March 1, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    >Breitbart was definitely assassinated.

    By NATURE

  3. 3.

    Cris (without an H)

    March 1, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    They use cancer to kill a lot of people.

    QOTD

    They use heart disease to kill a lot of people

  4. 4.

    butler

    March 1, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    By NATURE

    Nature was only the trigger man. Karma ordered the hit.

  5. 5.

    PeakVT

    March 1, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    @4tehlulz: By an embarrassed god.

  6. 6.

    jibeaux

    March 1, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    The gawker comment thread is bringing the funny.

  7. 7.

    rea

    March 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Too bad he didn’t live long enough to change his mind.

  8. 8.

    bootsy

    March 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    The debil done called him home.

    Hail Satan Network

  9. 9.

    BGinCHI

    March 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Everybody dies.

  10. 10.

    kd bart

    March 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I’ve always wondered what color the sky is in their world?

  11. 11.

    wasabi gasp

    March 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Ass, ass innate.

  12. 12.

    jibeaux

    March 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    @Cris (without an H): I always use a food taster and fork sanitizer, because the people who are out to get me often try to put cancer in my food.

  13. 13.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    March 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Just desserts. Now his name will be associated with crazy conspiracy-mongering assassination fetishists. The sort of people that any normal person knows not to take seriously as soon as you’ve heard six words come out of their piehole. A more appropriate tribute to the true worth of his life’s work could not be devised.

  14. 14.

    Linda Featheringill

    March 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    And so Breitbart died the way he lived: surrounded by partisan rancor and conspiracy theories. He would have wanted it this way.

    Yes. He is probably looking on this nonsense and chortling with joy.

  15. 15.

    TenguPhule

    March 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    And so Breitbart died the way he lived: surrounded by partisan rancor and conspiracy theories. He would have wanted it this way.

    In keeping with that theme, the funeral should be held at a waste treatment facility and the remains flushed out to sea after being sanitized.

  16. 16.

    Comrade Dread

    March 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Aw, I missed the murder conspiracy theories from the Clinton days.

    Now we just need to chatter about black helicopters, UN troops on US soil, and those secret FEMA camps set up to imprison conservatives and the 90’s Nostalgia-Fest will be complete.

  17. 17.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    The Bush/Clinton clan kills again.”…

    Wow. How do you not bleed out when you fall through that many looking glasses.

  18. 18.

    BGinCHI

    March 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    I also like the “Obambi is a pussy apologist who wants to help the weak and can’t control his woman” HEY HE KILLED OUR DUDE! HE STRAIGHT UP KILLS THOSE WHO WOULD THREATEN HIM!

    Logic, how does it fucking work?

  19. 19.

    BGinCHI

    March 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    FYWP

  20. 20.

    4tehlulz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    @Comrade Dread: All we needs is a congressman shooting a melon and the party will be complete.

  21. 21.

    Ben Franklin

    March 1, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Were the Clintons in town for the Academy Awards?

  22. 22.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    March 1, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Who am I to question the will of the FSM?

  23. 23.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    He seemed drunk or on drugs or something when he accosted those Occupy folks at CPAC. And the article said he’d had heart issues. I wonder if he had a heart attack or something as a result of his lifestyle.

    And the ongoing existence of James O’Keefe.

    I wonder what he’s going to do without his patron.

  24. 24.

    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)

    March 1, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    I am astonished that he was only 43; I thought he looked to be in his mid-late fifties. Not surprised he passed away; it can’t be healthy to strut about with so much fury and rage boiling away in your guts.

  25. 25.

    fasteddie9318

    March 1, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Wait, so Andrew Breitbart was killed by the same “they” who killed Jack Ruby to keep him from blowing open the conspiracy in the assassination of JFK? The Bush/Clinton clan? I have a headache.

  26. 26.

    Legalize

    March 1, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Haha, Breitfart was Ruby’d. Somebody get Jim Garrison on the case!

  27. 27.

    Comrade Dread

    March 1, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    @4tehlulz: Oh, man, I had totally forgotten about that.

    So the GOP’s really been this psychotic and loony for at least 20 years now. I must have had a serious case of willful blindness not to see it back then.

  28. 28.

    Cris (without an H)

    March 1, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    They use diabetes to kill a lot of people

  29. 29.

    scav

    March 1, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Fluoride in the water system! no! We were warned, and what about those GSA cookies?

    ETA: And where are the Illuminati and the Rosy Cross? Can’t have a good theory fest w/o them and the Bilderbergs.

  30. 30.

    jimmiraybob

    March 1, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Someone has reported a Kenyan Birth Certificate leaving the scene.*

    * Not necessarily meant as a statement of fact but more as responsible speculation. The B would have wanted it that way. [goes into other room to turn on Fox to see how soon this makes it to Breaking News]

  31. 31.

    kd bart

    March 1, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    It was the International Zionist Conspiracy. LA is full of Jews.

  32. 32.

    Ben Franklin

    March 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    @Cris (without an H):

    They use diabetes debates to kill a lot of people

    :>)

  33. 33.

    4tehlulz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    @Violet: Go to jail; do you think he can afford his lawyer?

  34. 34.

    fasteddie9318

    March 1, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    @jibeaux:

    I always use a food taster and fork sanitizer, because the people who are out to get me often try to put cancer in my food.

    Oh man, this happens to you too? They’re constantly trying to put cancer in my food, too! It’s gotten to the point where I can barely eat my favorite meal, irradiated asbestos in a white wine-garlic-benzene reduction, without worrying that one of them is going to slip some cancer in there!

  35. 35.

    amk

    March 1, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    This.

    Everybody dies.

    And the fucking congress is paying homage to this cretin? Fucking assholes.

  36. 36.

    Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity

    March 1, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    He seemed drunk or on drugs or something when he accosted those Occupy folks at CPAC. And the article said he’d had heart issues. I wonder if he had a heart attack or something as a result of his lifestyle.

    @Violet: He had a history of nose candy abuse.

    Toxicology results will be interesting.

  37. 37.

    PeakVT

    March 1, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    @fasteddie9318: Buy a $1500 mixer and you’ll be safe.

  38. 38.

    Xenos

    March 1, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Anybody check the crime scene for blowgun darts? Poison-tipped umbrellas? Snakes posing as bell pulls?

  39. 39.

    GregB

    March 1, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    As we blog there are several battalions of Chinese and ghurka troops massing on the boarder with Mexico waiting for the sign from Obama to invade America.

    They’ll know where they are going by the coded messages on the back of street signs and will also use a map from the back of a box of Lucky Charms.

    Only the Wolverines can save us now.

  40. 40.

    kerFuFFler

    March 1, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Maybe it was Frank.

  41. 41.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @4tehlulz:
    Doesn’t he come from a rich family? They’ll probably pony up the money for a defense lawyer. They most likely won’t keep funding his illegal activities. That’s what Breitbart was for.

    @West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.):

    I am astonished that he was only 43; I thought he looked to be in his mid-late fifties.

    Totally agree. He looked at least a decade older. I don’t think he lived a very healthy life and you’re right that all that rage and fury he was harboring can’t have been good for him.

  42. 42.

    harlana

    March 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    “and a small acorn was found beside the deceased’s body” . . .

  43. 43.

    Mark S.

    March 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    They use cocaine overdoses to kill a lot of people.

  44. 44.

    scav

    March 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    As though dying of something easily prevented by simple preventive care in a functioning system could be made any funnier or more apposite.

  45. 45.

    wrb

    March 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    What we need to know is if the Smart Grid has been deployed in that neighborhood.

    This would be proof of what many of us have been saying all along: the oscillations can be focused into lethal protonic wave beam, allowing those in the Agenda 21 control room to assassinate anyone with its coverage area.

  46. 46.

    gnomedad

    March 1, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    They put raging asshole in Rush’s food but it backfired.

  47. 47.

    Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity

    March 1, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Just saw the Gawker thread. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen a pic of Breitbart.

    That guy was 43? Im-fucking-possible. I’m several years older than that, haven’t lived the cleanest life and am somewhat overweight, but I don’t look like that. He looks like he’s my dad’s age.

  48. 48.

    Ben Franklin

    March 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    @harlana:

    Magic acorn, to you…. : -)

  49. 49.

    mdblanche

    March 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    @kd bart: Maybe a light Wednesday.

  50. 50.

    Bubblegum Tate

    March 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Yeah, that’s by far my favorite one. So. Much. Crazy.

    I just can’t believe they aren’t saying it was ACORN and/or the SEIU.

  51. 51.

    Ajay

    March 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Socialism just killed him.

  52. 52.

    amk

    March 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    time for wingnuts to start deather movement ?

  53. 53.

    Argive

    March 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    “Ok, I read Tom Clancy. Breitbart was definitely assassinated.”…

    Whoever wrote this is a vortex of stupid. Like, they have activated an interdimensional gateway to The Stupid Zone. What a glorious masterpiece of failure. They might as well have written that it was the RAND Corporation in conjunction with the reverse vampires.

  54. 54.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    @Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity: Nick Nolte’s younger brother. when I saw his age, I thought these last couple of decades must’ve been hard ones

  55. 55.

    Mouse Tolliver

    March 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Ok, I read JK Rowling. Breitbart was definitely assassinated by a Death Eater.

  56. 56.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    @Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity:

    Toxicology results will be interesting.

    There’s no reason they have to release those to anyone but the family, is there?

  57. 57.

    Argive

    March 1, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    How do you not bleed out when you fall through that many looking glasses.

    I gotta steal this. I’m sorry, but it’s just too good.

  58. 58.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 1, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    @GregB: Good thing I have the day off tomorrow.

  59. 59.

    jl

    March 1, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    If a person drinks as much as people said Breitbart did, then things can start going wrong with their ticker, and the blood vessels in their brain, and other organs like liver, by mid forties.

    And I think Breitbart had some serious emotional or personality disorder. As I said a few days ago, the guy seemed always to be barely controlling some kind of smoldering rage, and his political schtick was a way of directing it towards something, except he may been so far gone down some mental rabbit hole that it was not possible to keep it from feeding on itself, no matter how he tried to direct it. (Edit: and that emotional baggage does affect your heart attack and stroke risk)

    You read about how some people live, and get this feeling it is just a matter of time until you read about something bad happening in the news. Hitchens comes to mind.

    So, not all that unexpected news about guy who decided at some point to waste his life are my main thoughts right now, Apart from all the harm he did.

    Sometimes I think about Buddhism and all the ‘interesting’ tours of duty they say your consciousness can sign up for if you misspend your life.

  60. 60.

    Chris

    March 1, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    I had to laugh at “okay, I read Tom Clancy.” Did you, now? So that’s the reason for your keen insights into the world? Reading Tom Clancy? You’re a conservative, all right.

  61. 61.

    Petorado

    March 1, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    Maybe Bobcat Goldthwaite did him in.

    I see Breitbart’s “everything bad is a liberal conspiracy” agenda survives him.

  62. 62.

    jibeaux

    March 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    @fasteddie9318: Put it all in plastic and stick it in the microwave a few minutes, that should help.

  63. 63.

    Jay C

    March 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    @fasteddie9318:

    I can barely eat my favorite meal, irradiated asbestos in a white wine-garlic-benzene reduction, without worrying that one of them is going to slip some cancer in there!

    What are you, some kind of elitist snob, with those fancy sauces? Real Americans (TM) eat their asbestos plain, or with just a side of shredded PVC, like the Founding Fathers intended!

  64. 64.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    March 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    OK, I read Jane Austen. Breitbart was definitely assassinated by an English dandy.

  65. 65.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    @harlana: Ooh, ooh. Would’ve been great to have had Javier Bardem use that pneumatic gun thing to put an acorn into his head.

  66. 66.

    Fwiffo

    March 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I’m having a hard time listening to my mother’s advice about the dead on this one. My mother is a raging looney, so any of her advice is suspect anyway.

  67. 67.

    FormerSwingVoter

    March 1, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    Leah McElrath’s tweet on Breitbart really sums up my thoughts on the matter:

    #Breitbart : Not having a heart will kill you eventually. May Breitbart know peace & mercy in death he denied others in life.

  68. 68.

    Argive

    March 1, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    @Chris:

    The Gawker commenters are having some fun with that one:

    OK, I read Bret Easton Ellis. Obama definitely chopped Brietbart into pieces with an axe while discussing pop music.

    Okay, I read William Burroughs. Breibart was definitely mutilated in Dr. Benway’s O.R. and left in a suitcase at 97th and Columbus.

    Ok, I read Irvine Welsh. Breitbart was definitely killed by a heroin OD.

    And my favorite of all:

    OK, I read Camus. Breitbart definitely died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.

  69. 69.

    Steved

    March 1, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    The world’s a better place than it was yesterday.

  70. 70.

    Ajay

    March 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    There is no doubt Breitbart would have been alive today had Obamacare been effective.

  71. 71.

    Mark S.

    March 1, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Blunt Amendment defeated.

  72. 72.

    FormerSwingVoter

    March 1, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    @Mark S.: Holy shit, I can’t believe almost all Republicans voted for it. The ads write themselves.

    Self-immolation at its finest.

  73. 73.

    shortstop

    March 1, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    “Andrew Breitbart was going to expose Barry’s colledge “issues” and now he’s dead. The Bush/Clinton clan kills again.”…

    Another white person who can’t even spell “college” is convinced that a black man could never be smart enough to get into one on his own.

  74. 74.

    Someguy

    March 1, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    I wish that the paramedics had been able to revive him.

    So he could die again.

  75. 75.

    Liz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Two things: he was out walking after midnight, and Orson Bean is his father-in-law.

    I don’t have much else to say.

  76. 76.

    Redhand

    March 1, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Unless the guy’s a mass murderer, it’s sad when even a raging asshole dies at age 43. My guess is that the “natural causes” had something to do with illegal substances. Cf. Billy Mays.

    In any event, he won’t be missed.

  77. 77.

    amk

    March 1, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    @shortstop:

    Must be a sick rantorum voter.

  78. 78.

    Liz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    @Mark S.: by 3 votes.

    Terrifically terrifying.

    Assholes.

  79. 79.

    fasteddie9318

    March 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    @PeakVT: Maybe I should get two, but then I’ll have to redo my kitchen to hold them both.

  80. 80.

    Waldo

    March 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    A flaming asshole snuffed out in his prime. Tragic.

  81. 81.

    Liz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: and now I can’t stop quoting people. But this is awesome.

  82. 82.

    Elie

    March 1, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    @4tehlulz:

    LOL…

    Well put..

  83. 83.

    Southern Beale

    March 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Reading through Andrew Breitbart’s Twitter stream, last tweet was 11 hours ago. It seems he spent his last hours hurling invective at people about Media Matters and engaging haters and trolls and others about his protege O’Keefe.

    I’d say his blood pressure was up. What a way to spend your last hours. So not worth it.

  84. 84.

    Mouse Tolliver

    March 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @Argive: Ok, I read Choderlos de Laclos. He definitely died for not believing Madame de Volanges.

  85. 85.

    shortstop

    March 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @Waldo: Karma is the boot that crushes the burning bag on the doormat. Wait, that’s not working. Karma is the…oh, fuck it.

  86. 86.

    Ripley

    March 1, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    …and you will know us by the trail of dead.

  87. 87.

    Elie

    March 1, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    @Argive:

    Also very funny, LOL…

  88. 88.

    Bubblegum Tate

    March 1, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    @Argive:

    OK, I read Camus. Breitbart definitely died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.

    Oh my fucking god, this is so incredibly awesome, I almost can’t believe it.

  89. 89.

    Mark S.

    March 1, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    @Liz:

    I don’t know if it needed 60 votes or not. All I could tell from the article was that they were trying to attach it to a highway bill. But yeah, I’m surprised only Snowe voted against it. It seems like a loser to me.

  90. 90.

    Loneoak

    March 1, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    I heard he choked to death on an acorn.

  91. 91.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @Argive:
    Those are awesome.

  92. 92.

    PeakVT

    March 1, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Ok, I played Clue once. It was definitely Miss Scarlet in the library with the rope.

  93. 93.

    lurkergirl

    March 1, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Hear hear. I’m not going to pretend I’m sorry he’s gone.

    But for the record, I think he went back to Planet 10.

  94. 94.

    David Koch

    March 1, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    corpse or it didn’t happen.

  95. 95.

    Liz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    @Mark S.: I was just reading about it on Kos. They kind of live blogged the vote. Brown voted no (which means FOR the amendmant I guess), Casey voted no. Collins and Murkowski voted no.

    For some reason I’m just so much more offended at women voting no. But that’s a story for another thread, I suppose.

  96. 96.

    David Koch

    March 1, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    Osama Bin Laden

    Muammar Gaddafi

    Anwar al-Awlaki

    Hosni Mubarak

    David Broder

    Catholic Bishops

    Andrew Breitbart

    Obama is one bad muther

  97. 97.

    Cris (without an H)

    March 1, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    @Argive: OK, I read Camus. Breitbart definitely died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.

    brilliant

  98. 98.

    Auguste

    March 1, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    “OK, I read Eat Pray Love and I’m definitely scheduling some more “me” time this year. Wait what were we talking about again?”

    Not the Camus one, but certainly a close second.

  99. 99.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    From an article on his death:

    Breitbart lived in Westwood with his wife, Susie, and their four young children, Samson, 12; Mia, 10; Charlie, 6; and William, 4..

    That’s really, really young for them to lose their dad. Unless he was awful to him and they’re better off without him, which is impossible for us to know even from his rage-filled public persona, that’s a tragedy for them.

  100. 100.

    Egg Berry

    March 1, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Barry Sotero = Kaiser Soze

  101. 101.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    March 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    @David Koch:

    Davy Jones

    Hey, the dude was around back in the 60s when O’s birth certificate was being forged. Can’t take chances, the trooth might come out.

  102. 102.

    gaz

    March 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.

    Too bad about all the poor folks he fucked over there.

    “Nice voter enfranchisement program you got there. Be a shame if anything happened to it.”

    That should be etched on his tombstone.

  103. 103.

    scav

    March 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    @PeakVT: Excuse the time travel — someday you’ll understand. “But then The Rules Are Wrong!”

  104. 104.

    Quincy

    March 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Ok, I read Douglas Adams. He definitely turned into a bowl of petunias.

  105. 105.

    Southern Beale

    March 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    I didn’t realize that Breitbart’s father in law was Orson Bean. On one of our trips to New York City the husband & I kept running into Bean. Twice around the city and once on the subway.

  106. 106.

    Argive

    March 1, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    @Violet:

    Interestingly enough, by all accounts he was a great dad (I should add that I could absolutely be quite wrong on this score, since I haven’t heard a whole lot about his personal life, but what what I have heard he left the anger at work). I definitely feel terrible for his kids.

  107. 107.

    Winston Smith

    March 1, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    The real victims here are the Freepers. They’ve been debating this for hours and they still have not settled on who to blame.

    Most, of course, blame the “Chicago mob” in the White House, but some are certain that it was Muslim terrorists. Sadly, Glenn Beck no longer has the reach he once had to connect Breitbart’s death to Soros and the Tides foundation, so they’ll just have to struggle with the question.

    On the good news, many have pledge cash to fund a private investigation. That’s just that much less money that will go to a SuperPAC.

  108. 108.

    chopper

    March 1, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    i can’t wait for mitt romney to posthumously convert breitbart to mormonism.

  109. 109.

    chopper

    March 1, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    @Argive:

    i listen to kool keith. breitbart was definitely killed by his intergalactic lover, a half-shark half-man with skin like an alligator carrying a dead walrus.

  110. 110.

    Cassidy

    March 1, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    I definitely feel terrible for his kids.

    Why? They now have the opportunity to not be raised by a hateful, spiteful man and become hateful, spiteful adults in his place.

  111. 111.

    Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity

    March 1, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    There’s no reason they have to release those to anyone but the family, is there?

    @Violet: In California, these records are public property, as it should be.

  112. 112.

    ET

    March 1, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Cagle’s Cartoon index has the funniest one from RJ Matson. It has Bart writing on the chalkboard

    I will not check the facts before I post online misleading video clips taken totally out of context.

    I have a feeling that it may have come out much earlier but it is funny.

  113. 113.

    piratedan

    March 1, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    @Cris (without an H): to be followed by a Schroedinger burial, the casket will be closed, but no one will know what’s really in the box, much less whose body.

  114. 114.

    Argive

    March 1, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    @Cassidy:

    You’re assuming that he acted that way at home. It’s entirely possible that he was able to dial back the crazy when he was with his kids.

  115. 115.

    Woodrowfan

    March 1, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    I’ve read Terry Pratchett. He was killed by a real assassin. Anybody see a nattily dressed man in black around his house? No? see, PROOF! !

  116. 116.

    The Pale Scot

    March 1, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    To paraphrase Chris Rock:

    MLK was assassinated, that drunk got coked up!

  117. 117.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    March 1, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    @Cassidy:

    Leave the kids out of it, please. A 12 year-old, much less a 4 year-old, have the right to mourn their father’s passing without being asked to make an informed, objective and mature adult judgement on the morality of his deeds. And yes, I know they will never read this blog. But bringing them into this lowers us. Let the other side sling that kind of shit.

  118. 118.

    g

    March 1, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    @Southern Beale: I actually worked very briefly with Orson Bean. In the ’80s, in theatre. I have absolutely no memory of him, though, other than I know he was in the cast.

  119. 119.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 1, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    @Argive:

    Then again, it’s possible he did not.

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  120. 120.

    David Koch

    March 1, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    watching MSNBC, they say Breitbart was found dead on a sidewalk.

    Sounds more like an OD than natural causes.

  121. 121.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Sounds like they’ll be doing an autopsy:

    The Los Angeles County coroner’s office will review the death of conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart, who collapsed and died Thursday while taking a nighttime walk near his Westwood home.
    __
    Given his young age — he was 43 — and the unexpected manner in which he died, authorities will conduct an autopsy to help determine a specific cause of death.

    Wonder if they’ll release the results of the toxicology screen.

  122. 122.

    Tony J

    March 1, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    @Southern Beale:

    Don’t be so naive.

    Orson Bean can only be seen when Orson Bean wants to be seen, that is the secret of Orson Bean, the most awesomest actor there’s ever been.

    ETA – I don’t know who Orson Bean is. Great name though.

  123. 123.

    Cassidy

    March 1, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    @Argive: He may very well have lovingly and gently taught his hate. I don’t care.

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: I haven’t denied them their right to mourn, but I’m not going to have a sad because Daddy is no longer around to warp their little minds.

  124. 124.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 1, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    @Tony J:

    For example, on “Match Game” or “$25,000 Pyramid”.

  125. 125.

    David Koch

    March 1, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    @Petorado:

    THAT WAS HILARIOUS! BRAVO BOBCAT!

  126. 126.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    @Cassidy:
    I’m taking the high road, giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was a good dad to his kids. No matter what, losing your father at the young ages they are is hard. I feel for his kids. I hope they have a good relationship with their mom and extended family to support them during what will no doubt be a difficult time.

  127. 127.

    David Koch

    March 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @Tony J: the greatest trick Orson Bean ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

  128. 128.

    shortstop

    March 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @Winston Smith: Have they selected Joe Arpaio to run that investigation?

  129. 129.

    Tony J

    March 1, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I’m going to play the “I’m English and have no idea what you’re talking about” card right now and do that Google thing.

    He looks sort of familiar. From the Wikipedia entry on him I’m going to assume it was because he was in ‘Being John Malkovich’, because otherwise I might have to admit to watching ‘Doctor Quinn – Medicine Woman’ back in the student era when I had hangover induced stayinbeditis every day and they’d yet to make the remote control a staple for TVs.

  130. 130.

    ruemara

    March 1, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    I’m going to say what my more removed response is, after a couple of hours to digest. I feel incredibly sorry for Andrew Breitbart. Death is not what I feel sorry for. The man lived his life in anger, made his money off of anger, and destroyed anything that he disagreed with, just because he disagreed with them. I can’t even comprehend how his life could have been anything other than miserable, internally. No amount of money is worth fearmongering, lying and hating as a cash cow.

  131. 131.

    Ben Franklin

    March 1, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    @Tony J:

    Orson Bean’s claim to fame is being on Password for a long time. Broadway actor.

    He was Breitbart’s father-in-law, not father.

  132. 132.

    trollhattan

    March 1, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    My reaction hearing it on the radio this a.m. was, “So, that happened.”

    The unhinged rant CPAC conference vid, heck, his prepared speech vid show a person on a distinct downward spiral. If he surrounded himself with folks who’d “attaboy” him no matter what he did or how he appeared, that lumps him with Michael Jackson. A poor Michael Jackson, but nevertheless, somebody with nobody in their life with sufficient humanity to make him GET SOME HELP.

    Charles Pierce noted Breitbart’s “eulogy” for Ted Kennedy and commented no further. Seems about right.

  133. 133.

    Roy G.

    March 1, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    The dude was definitely on something more than anger. The last few times I saw him on tv, I wondered how someone so tweaked out, manic and disheveled could be taken seriously.

    I hope somebody dresses up like a pimp and steals the toxicology report.

  134. 134.

    ReflectedSky

    March 1, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    I thought this was a gag when I saw it here. I STILL thought it was a gag when I went to Gawker. I had to go to the Fox News site (eeewwwww) to believe it.

    Am faintly proud that I’m not enjoying this. I’m older than he was. My dude is A LOT older than he was. Of course, neither of us is a rage or any other kind of -oholic.

    I feel sorry for everyone involved. I’m sure I’ll recover shortly, though.

  135. 135.

    ladies auxiliary fuckhead (f/k/a eemom)

    March 1, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    Are we allowed to say not-nice things on this thread?

  136. 136.

    g

    March 1, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    It’s hard to hear this and not think of his revelation that he had videos of Obama’s college days. Too soon to be so cynical?

    Somewhere high over the Santa Monica Mountains above Brentwood, a black helicopter hovers and drops a wire ladder down to a hidden concrete pad. Darting from the deep cover oak forest, a black-clad figure grabs the bottom rung and with the immense strength of his powerful biceps, hauls his body up the ladder to the belly of the chopper as it rises over the glittering night traffic in the Sepulveda Pass.

    “Mission accomplished, sir.” The discipline required at this level of Special Operations is evident in the lack of stress or tension in the operative’s voice.

    “Fine job, soldier. Your actions were undetected, I assume?”

    “A simple job, actually. He played right into my hands.” The operative turns to a dark figure in the passenger seat. “No one will suspect your office’s role here, Ma’am.”

    “Excellent.” The Secretary of State carefully reapplied her lipstick. “Crisis averted, wouldn’t you say, Mr. Axelrod?”

    “It’s a relief to know that our President’s secret is still safe. It would be devastating if that “C” grade in freshman Art History would get out before the election.”

    “Well, that’s Phase One complete, Gyrenes!” Panetta’s voice booms from the darkness of the chopper. “Now – let’s check on our second Special Ops team. They were raiding the archived student files at Occidental – by now there should be no trace of his sophomore Sociology Mid-term, but a small pile of ashes.”

  137. 137.

    pseudonymous in nc

    March 1, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    A Breitbart usenet post from 1995, possibly the oldest online remnant of his presence, before he signed up as Matt Drudge’s second-in-command. I’m trying to imagine the effects of having that stoked and amplified for 17 years, and what it says about a media environment that enables it.

  138. 138.

    Tony J

    March 1, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    @David Koch:

    “Who do you think I am?”

    “Are you sure this isn’t a test?”

    “No, this is not a test.”

    “You’re Orson Bean. You’re the one who gave me this.”
    [Bartender holds up his hand, shows the backwards B scar on the back of his hand]

    voice over

    “Please return your seatbacks to their full, upright and locked position.”

  139. 139.

    Ben Franklin

    March 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    @trollhattan:

    I saw him on Bill Maher’s show (HBO) a couple of times, and he was a boiling cauldron of negative energy.

    “Like a 440-volt cattle-prod in a copper bathtub”

    Hunter S. Thompson

  140. 140.

    trollhattan

    March 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    @ladies auxiliary fuckhead (f/k/a eemom):

    We’re supposed to be “better” but, hey, go for it.

    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/Breitbart_dies

  141. 141.

    Kyle

    March 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    I feel sorry for his kids.
    Of course, I felt sorrier for his kids having a loudmouth, mendacious angry asshole for a father when he was alive.

  142. 142.

    jl

    March 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    @Ben Franklin: I was going to mention that, Orsen Bean is father in law. Just checked Bean’s Wikipedia article.

    Some links from article reveal Orsen Bean’s father was a founder of the ACLU and an anti death penalty organization. Bean seems to be a pro union moderate, who says he got blacklisted because he went to two commie meetings chasing a girl he was interested in.

    An interview gives Bean’s amused reaction to a conservative meeting Breitbart took him too.

    Good idea to leave family out it. Death is a human tragedy for the family, regardless of how you feel about a person.

  143. 143.

    ladies auxiliary fuckhead (f/k/a eemom)

    March 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Y’all should check out Alex Pareene’s eulogy over at Salon
    — it is actually quite fair and informative. Seems he was at heart an ambitious starfucker who shrewdly exploited “conservatism” as the route to his own stardom.

    It concludes: “By all accounts he was a loving husband and father.”

  144. 144.

    Nemesis

    March 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    “Andrew Breitbart was going to expose Barry’s colledge “issues” and now he’s dead.

    No..no…tell me this douche who is ranting ala Frothy McMixMaster against college educations, spelled college with a “d”.

    Its the Vince Foster present for the wingnuttia.

  145. 145.

    MosesZD

    March 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    They’re all just bug-fuck crazy. And I’m still glad he’s dead.

  146. 146.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    March 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    @ladies auxiliary fuckhead (f/k/a eemom):

    Are we allowed to say not-nice things on this thread?

    Yes, this would appear to be the thread which is being run more in a manner Voltaire would approve of (“we owe respect to the living…”). I find it more congenial to concentrate my fire on the man’s toxic legacy by mocking his loonier followers rather than making it personal, but YMMV.

  147. 147.

    stratplayer

    March 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Well, well, well. It turns out Mr. Breitbart had existing heart problems that were diagnosed last year:

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/HeartDisease/andrew-breitbart-history-heart-problems/story?id=15825103#.T0_UF3l62uI

    Maybe his cardiologists were part of the conspiracy.

  148. 148.

    Froley

    March 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Orson Bean played the doctor/sea captain who leads his group into Malkovich’s mind in “Being John Malkovich” and he also voiced Bilbo in the Rankin-Bass version of “The Hobbit”.

  149. 149.

    PurpleGirl

    March 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    @piratedan: No, that’s a Heisenberg Uncertainty Principal burial. Heisenberg was the scientist who said you can’t know where an electron is and its energy level at any one time, only one or the other. (Actually the definition is a mathematical thing but I never could do the mathematics involved.)

  150. 150.

    Soonergrunt

    March 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    @g: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  151. 151.

    daveNYC

    March 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    @Southern Beale:

    It seems he spent his last hours hurling invective at people about Media Matters and engaging haters and trolls and others about his protege O’Keefe.

    What, so at like midnight on a Wednesday he was tweeting insults at trolls on the internet? What a crappy way to spend your last day.

  152. 152.

    EEH

    March 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Ok, I read Lee Child. Reacher took down Breitbart with a massive headbutt and then finished him off with his folding toothbrush.

  153. 153.

    Nemesis

    March 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Clearly we are witnessing the final chapter in the ongoing collaboration between Agenda 21, The Bilderberger Group, The New World Order and the Illumaniti. Truth-tellers, like AB, are being systematically eliminated. Reeducation camps will be opened following the cancellation of the 2012 national elections. Elections are cancelled because of a global energy crisis fosterd and perfectly executed by Obama’s followers. Follow the money. FEMA is being funded at much, much higher rates than in the past. These dollars will go toward the rounding up of enemies. The camps themselves will be built by prisoners of the regime. The next crisis will be food shortages, due to the poisoning of large wide swaths of land though chemtrails. Be sure to stock your bunkers with ammo and weapons. You are gonna need them. Nothing is beyond the pale for this administration. The children…the children….

  154. 154.

    Ben Franklin

    March 1, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    @jl:

    Piling on kinda like mob violence. Never a good end.

  155. 155.

    Comrade Mary

    March 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    @Argive: Yes, that last one is brilliant.

  156. 156.

    hueyplong

    March 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Just like Obama to claim credit for “getting” Breitbart.

    Everybody knows the intel on how to find him came from Bush Administration-era waterboarding.

    On the other hand, if we’re in that part of the FoxNews segment where Obama is considered both evil and all powerful, then Glenn Beck has to be looking at the bin Laden and Breitbart results and getting nervous about things happening in threes.

  157. 157.

    Nied

    March 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    OK, I read Joseph Farah. Breitbart was definitely killed by Vince Foster.

  158. 158.

    trollhattan

    March 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Why waste time in the “denial” stage when you can check into Hotel Conspiracy?

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/people-who-think-president-obama-killed-andrew-bre

  159. 159.

    THE

    March 1, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    All causes are natural.

  160. 160.

    Mark B.

    March 1, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Given his young age—he was 43—and the unexpected manner in which he died, authorities will conduct an autopsy to help determine a specific cause of death.

    Today, there was a terrible accident at the coroner’s office. The chief coroner punctured the skin of Andrew Breitbart’s corpse, and 5 employees drowned in a flood of bile that erupted from it. Nothing was left of Breitbart except an empty bag of skin.

  161. 161.

    stratplayer

    March 1, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    @Southern Beale: I’m amazed it hasn’t been taken down yet.

  162. 162.

    Cassidy

    March 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @Violet: I’m not disagreeing with that sentiment. Honestly, I think the kind of evil he spewed and lived by is a form of child abuse, so while I’m sure they are mourning, and they should, in the end a very corrosive influence has been removed from their lives. These children now have the oppurtunity to grow up without having their minds warped by him. I do empathize for the children and it is sad they are having to experience this loss. But as said before, I do not feel any kind of sympathy or sense of mourning for Breitbart. He was a disgusting human being who made a living off of divisiveness and sheer spite. He helped make the world a little worse in the time he was here. That’s his legacy. Fortunately he no longer has the ability to poison young, impressionable minds the way he poisoned this country’s discourse.

  163. 163.

    Cheap Jim

    March 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    OK, I read Proust. Guy choked on a rusk biscuit.

  164. 164.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937

    March 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    He would have wanted it this way.

    It is a glowing tribute in a lot of ways. I read a lot of Joyce Carol Oates, and I’m pretty sure Breitbart was raped by a motorcycle gang and then murdered by a serial killer.

  165. 165.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 1, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    OK, I’ve read Poe. He was killed by a Raven. Or a tell-tale heart.

  166. 166.

    Frankensteinbeck

    March 1, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @FormerSwingVoter:
    Alas, yes. I’ve been trying, but it’s so hard not to troll the passing of a troll. Breitbart was perhaps the world’s most accomplished professional troll.

  167. 167.

    Violet

    March 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc:
    Final line in the Usenet post from Breitbart:

    And of course, what
    happens when we die, really, no, really?

    Wow.

  168. 168.

    Cowbelle

    March 1, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    I feel sorry for his family, and sorry for Breitbart that he wasted his life on such horrid pursuits.

  169. 169.

    Ridnik Chrome

    March 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    @daveNYC: He died doing what he loved best…

  170. 170.

    Wile E. Quixote

    March 1, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    @Violet:

    And the ongoing existence of James O’Keefe.

    I wonder what he’s going to do without his patron. daddy.

    Fix’t

  171. 171.

    Wile E. Quixote

    March 1, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    @Southern Beale:
    In line with the Gawker meme. I read Andrew Breitbart’s Twitter stream, and it was @DavidShuster who killed him, or @Neal_Rauhauser or @CenLamar. Seriously, how fucking pathetic were this asshole’s last hours, he spent an evening engaged in pissing contests on Twitter and at the end of it was so pissed off that he went outside and dropped dead of a heart attack.

    And then there’s this gem on Breitbart’s Twitter feed.

    Who’s gonna have to break the tough news that Davy Jones passed to Maureen McCormick? http://bit.ly/wXJ2aP

    Making me wonder who had to break the tough news that Andrew Breitbart passed to James O’Keefe.

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