I know that absolutely none of you will believe this, and I’m essentially asking you to believe I saw the “whitey” tape, but Tunch caught a bird. I went outside on the back deck, and looked down and saw and heard this wing flapping, and Tunch had a bird pinned. I yelled “TUNCH” and he moved and the bird flew off, presumably licked heavily but ok (it flew, after all), so I have no photographic evidence.
But it happened, I swear. I don’t know if he hunted the bird or just fell on it, if the bird had been drinking after a bad breakup and was just easy prey, but for a fleeting moment fat boy was a hunter. I know that I would have better luck convincing you all that I am a billionaire with a ten-inch penis and killer abs, but so help me, Tunch caught a bird.
Maybe Tunch pulled a Newt Gingrich, and just talked until the bird wanted to die.
John O
John, you and Tunch are a constant source of delight. I, for one, believe you, since I’ve witnessed my share of cat v. bird battles.
Hunter Gathers
You lost out on a feathery gift. Perhaps he felt bad for not getting you an x-mas gift.
cathyx
Wow, I had no idea you were so buff and so large. You go guy.
sfinny
Good for Tunch! What a pretty furry predator.
MikeTheZ
And this just totally made my day.
Left Coast Tom
Is it possible the bird flew into a window, got stunned, and Tunch got the bird in that state? I grew up w/ a Siberian Husky who could actually catch rabbits, he’d be laying on his back sunning himself and the rabbit would come up… Anyway, he also sometimes got birds, but I don’t think he actually caught the bird.
amk
Mebbe that bird was his BFF ? Didya think of that ?
cathyx
Instincts. What are they?
khead
I believe it – SweetPea used to bring us birds.
Meanwhile, one of our other domesticated cats is hunting pasta.
Kitteh steals homemade pasta.
MikeBoyScout
Maybe Tunch pulled a Newt Gingrich, and just talked until the bird wanted to die.
That’s just gold JC.
Frankensteinbeck
Personal experience has shown me that fat, grumpy, lazy-seeming cats are frequently accomplished predators. Think of it as releasing all of the pure life-destroying malice there would be too much fuss pointing at you and the dogs.
JPL
Cat’s hunt and someday Mr. Tunch will deposit a mouse at your feet.
LT
“just fell on it”
Sheetfire…
FoxinSocks
I had a cat who was declawed (we found her that way) AND who by the time she was 15, was missing most of her teeth. She still managed to bring us birds, so yeah, I believe you. No matter how pampered, how out of shape, cats are impressive hunters.
MikeInSewickley
He looks like he is praying to the Great Cat God and asking for another opportunity.
I’ll wager the bird won’t tell his buddies that he got caught.
“You telling us that fat thing down the street? He CAUGHT you? You’re a disgrace to all birddom!”
Mudge
Of course Tunch caught a bird, Birds are basically stupid and Tunch has hidden quickness.
PTirebiter
@Frankensteinbeck: Yep, I had a cat that was so fat people would stop their cars to look at him sitting on the front yard. Gato Gordo Rojo caught more birds than any cat I’ve know before or since.
dmsilev
The bird was probably caught by his gravitational field, but escaped before passing the event horizon.
jl
Congrats, papa Cole. Your Tunch is a hunter! Next, little league and Pop Warner!
On other hand, birds do get drunk eating fermented fruit. Not the right season though.
” I am a billionaire with a ten-inch penis and killer abs ”
I was taking that as a given, in deference to the Balloon Juice bigdhot, but now that you bring it up, yes, I have had doubts.
Cacti
This made me happy enough to post in the open thread too.
Obama leads all of the GOP candidates 70-14 with Hispanic voters.
The Repukes are pulling less than half the support McCain got just 4 short years ago.
JPL
Since this an open thread ..can we please talk about Tebow being tossed aside for another guy who has had four neck surgeries who may or may not be able to play. Where is the one who looks out for Tebow and the Tebowing?
Edit…maybe
jl
Congrats, papa Cole. Your Tunch is a hunter! Next, little league and Pop Warner!
On other hand, birds do get drunk eating fermented fruit. Not the right season though.
” I am a billionaire with a ten-inch p* n * s and killer abs ”
I was taking that as a given, in deference to the Balloon Juice bigshot, but now that you bring it up, yes, I have had doubts.
Edit: this was reposted do to naughy Johson Rod word. So, Cole can type p * n * s, but mere commenters cannot. Looks like that is how front pagers establish blog dominance.
LT
@dmsilev: You’re banned. Funny as fuckall, but banned.
SuperHrefna
Yay for Tunch! No matter how pampered the housecat, those hunting instincts are irrepressible. Why don’t you get him a Da Bird toy to make up for scaring him off his prey? The feather lure is attached with a spinner so it flutters like a bird, drives both my cats wild with excitement!
meyerman
Just finished watching some Charlie Chaplin shorts with my boys. If only we had film of Cole’s life. People would be watching many decades hence.
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
dude, your cat is tebowing, forget the bird, you have a fundie feline.
THE
Cats = Stealthy.
Speed has nuthin to do with it.
The Dangerman
That poor bird’s feathered friends are so giving him such shit right now.
JPL
What would papa Cole say if a Tunch had delivered a dead bird. Somehow it’s okay that he sorta caught it but let it go..Really
amk
@MikeInSewickley: LOL.
jl
@SuperHrefna:
” Why don’t you get him a Da Bird toy to make up for scaring him off his prey? ”
Cole, put up a ‘Da Bird for Tunch’ contribution link. I will contribute, if we get a vid.
Edit: Also too, the poor bird might have been flying along and got caught in the outer atmosphere of the Tunchmass. When is the last time he was furminated? No telling what you find in there.
Jager
So what you’re saying is that Tunch is one of those “deceptivly quick wide bodies” the ESPN guys talk about.
Galileo126
Heh!
I love the “Tunch cult” you’ve created John. I’m not a cat man (pups are my thing), but I think Tunch rocks. Fat Man caught a bird…awesome. Nurture says “John will Feed”, Nature says “I’m a cat, f*ck John!”
Evolution incarnate.
Sweet…
-gali
Odie Hugh Manatee
I think we can officially replace “squirrel-nut” with “Tunch-bird”. ;p
My vote is that he fell on an old bird that fell out of the sky from exhaustion. Tunch revived him and set him free.
Tunch iz really a sweetie. :)
Our kitten, Stewie, went to the vet today for his first (and most traumatic, neutering) visit. He was a good little guy and is happy to be back home now. I’m trying to keep him calm but he wants to PLAY!
At least I know he doesn’t hate me…lol
PTirebiter
@The Dangerman: too funny.
Nicole
I need to cut back on the reruns of “Mad Men.”. My toddler just sang along with the theme song.
Elizabelle
@MikeInSewickley:
word
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
ALL cats are ruthless little killers, even the fat ones. I wouldn’t turn my back for a few days, as they usually hold grudges for the bleedy heart bird lover types. Especially after making the effort to make themselves an avian sandwich.
JPL
@Galileo126: The bird did fly away btw
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
This is excellent news for Chris Christie!
burnspbesq
Tunch got a bird?
I’d be more likely to believe you if said that a WVU cheerleader is coming over tonight.
Cacti
@JPL:
The Donkeys get a much better QB, and Tebow gets more time to study his bible.
Sounds like a win-win to me.
SuperHrefna
@JPL: Dealing with the bodies is just part of owning a (sweet, cuddly, little) predator as a pet. Mind you if I catch my cats with something before they’ve killed it I will try to swap it for a treat…
jl
@JPL:
I’ve read that cats that do not hunt for food get puzzled when they actually catch prey, and play with it, drag it to owner as a present, rather than eat it.
So if Tunch could not figure out how to damage it with the mighty Paw of Tunch, not surprising the bird was still in shape to fly away.
Is that true? *(That cats fiddle with prey they catch rather than kill it and gobble it down like a regular working stiff predator would do)
CaseyL
Tunch had one of those “I am the product of millions of years of evolution to produce the perfect hunter” moments. It’s always fascinating to see when that happens; it’s like a lightbulb goes off over their heads, and they turn into slinky deadly miniature panthers.
Southern Beale
My guess: bird flew into a window, got stunned, was sitting on the porch and Tunch walked up to it thinking, “I can haz snack?” At which point clueless human thought, “Tunch made a kill!”
koalaholik
Congratulations to Tunch (handsome lad that he is). You shouldn’t call him “fat boy” though. My mother calls one of my cats “fat boy” and now he answers to that instead of his name. By the way, he is nowhere near the size of Tunch, he just has a little “snackie” belly.
SuperHrefna
@jl: AFAIK, when they bring you prey it’s not a straightforward gift, they’re trying to teach you to hunt. Our cats love us and they want us to be able to look after ourselves. It’s what they do with their kittens: dead prey is for teaching beginners, half-dead prey is for more advanced students and when they bring in a perfectly healthy rodent & turn it loose in the house they are actually paying you the compliment of treating you like an advanced student…
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
@Jager:
that is what they were talking about? i heard them talking about waist-benders and knee-benders and i assumed they were watching pr0n on the instudio monitors and accidentally had their mics live.
David Koch
@JPL:
Obviously, God is testing Tebow, just as he did with Job.
sandy
you are so funny John Cole
WyldPirate
@JPL:
Cole would probably throw it into a crockpot with some corned beef and cabbage.
dmsilev
@LT: Heh.
LesGS
@dmsilev: OMG. Literally LOLing. And I mean literally in the actually literal sense, not in the world is literally Palin’s oyster sense.
trollhattan
Teh Round Mound of Avian Rebound.
I demand the tshirt.
Anybody else heard of Anna Calvi? Heard her for the first time tonight. So far me likie, especially when she shreds the Telecaster.
http://annacalvi.com/
Jennifer
Eartha Kitty caught a bird this morning, too, but she killed hers. I hate when that happens, but she doesn’t catch that many birds…her rat-to-bird ratio is something like 10 to 1.
In other news, the tame squirrel who comes up to the back porch for pecans scares the shit out of her. It will get right up in her grill, and she just backs off.
David Koch
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ:
Tunch is toooooo fat to be President.
TaMara (BHF)
Ok. Just ruined another keyboard. Lemon water everywhere. Laughing so hard I can barely type. You go Tunch. And I’m just going to try and forget about John mentioning his naughty bits.
My neighbors have a cherry tree and every year the birds get drunk on cherries and many end up being cat food, since they just sit on the ground under the tree, probably singing drinking songs, oblivious.
Anne Laurie
Stupid bird underestimated fat feline’s pounce speed. Tunch does enough furniture-climbing to keep himself in shape for the quick kill, which is what cats are designed for anyways. You want a marathon running partner, get a dog; cats are sprinters and surprisingly quick starters, too.
slag
So, now that you know he can do it, it sounds like you’ve got an excellent Tunch diet plan. Feed him less and make him earn the rest.
Speaking of cat food: Has anyone noticed reduced shedding after a change of diet? I’m wondering because I just switched my cat over from prescription Urinary SO to Stella and Chewy’s dehydrated raw, and it’s as if he got a whole new coat out of the deal. Not only is he practically glowing now, but he seems to be shedding less as well. The glowing I totally believe, but the shedding less seems likely to be a mirage. Anyone else experienced this?
JPL
@koalaholik: snackie” belly You do understand that Tunch had a snackie” belly one time. Sometimes a snackie” belly leads to bigger things..just sayin.
Percysowner
@jl: Having had cats, I can assure you that even if they don’t have to hunt for food, they do it anyway. In fact most experts agree that a well fed cat is a better hunter because it is healthier. I have had cats catch bird. My one (sadly now gone) brave hunter would bring us moles home. She was trying to make certain we had food. However, we never got a squirrel. We would see a squirrel ear or tail on the driveway, but the rule apparently was that the hunter gets the BEST catch, not the novices who can’t fend for themselves.
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
Something weird, or it could just be a first time coincidence, buy my main yahoo email inbox has not had a single entry for three days now, and ditto for the spam filter. Very unusual, and I checked all the settings and they are the same as always. Could Homeland Security be involved, Tunch?
LesGS
@Nicole: Mine used to sing the Black Adder theme song. Scary when they’re two.
jl
thanks for info on cats and hunting. Makes sense. To cats we are poor students who are slow at mastering catness, or their serfs who are objects of their charity.
slag
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero): Sign it up for AWAD and not only will you never wonder again, but you may learn something new.
Raven
Even a blind squirrel get’s an acorn now and then.
TheOtherWA
Tunch is spoiled, he is loved, and he is almost completely domesticated. Those big game hunter instincts never go away.
Good job, Tunch.
muddy
At least his name matches his fine figure. I have a fine figure of a cat too, but I named him Ailill when he was tiny, it means sprite/elf. He’s a good mouser tho, but once got a bird that I saw, and like Tunch he was on top of it. I don’t think he knew what to do once he had pounced on it. And if he moved it’d be off, Which it was, when I hollered at him. Rodents can’t go airborne.
SiubhanDuinne
John, you didn’t say what KIND of bird Tunch caught. One of jeffreyw’s jewel-like hummingbirds? One of the predatory herons eating JPL’s koi? A barn owl? Tweety? An ordinary sparrow or starling?
These details matter, you know.
Elizabelle
20/20’s doing a show on “Pet Crazy.”
It’s good so far, although Tunchless.
jnfr
I apologize to Sir Tunch for calling him a Queen the other day. Clearly he needed to prove his manhood after that.
One of my cats grabbed a hummingbird out of the air once. That was a shock to the bird, who was hovering out of curiosity. Same cat tried to drag home a ground squirrel nearly as big as he was. He stood at the door whining for me to let him in with the big thing dangling from his mouth. I did not give in.
HRA
Oh for …. The bird was looking for a soft fluffy landing and found it.
Matthew Reid Krell
I’m standing at my kitchen counter today, working on my to-do list, and I hear a little high-pitched chittering. Look around, nothing.
IT’S IN THE WALLS.
That’s right, we have mice. And what do the two Mighty Hunters I live with do? As near as I can tell, they haven’t noticed.
JPL
@SiubhanDuinne: I think we can assume it wasn’t a Great Horned Owl.
Raven
@SiubhanDuinne: A geriatric, single wing dodo.
celiadexter
A fees years ago, I was hauling a bag of Meow Mix up the hill in the Bronx to feed a feral cat colony when I encountered the matriarch of the group, a little black-and-white named Twinkletoes with a fair bit of attitude, with her jaws clamped around the neck of a pigeon more than half her size. The pigeon had seen better days. Basically he was a goner. Twinkletoes looked happy and proud. and in her element. All I could think was good for her. She’s doing her job, and so was Tunch.
Ash Can
The bird probably mistook Tunch for an armchair or propane tank or parked SUV and figured he was safe to land on.
LesGS
@jnfr: My last cat’s specialty was humming birds, two, three a week, which drove me wild.
“Sparrows, go for the sparrows,” I’d rant after collecting up another dead jewel. “They’re a non-indigenous, invasive species. Kill, kill, kill.” But no. She liked a challenge. It’s only six months after her death that the humming birds are chirping their sass from our lemon tree again.
phoebes-in-santa fe
You should be ashamed of yourself, Cole, letting that brute of a cat outdoors to scare poor, defenseless birdies!!!
Now, I will say I loves me a fat cat and in particular, I love Tunch, but to let him out to harm the world, is not good.
By the way, I agree with all of you who think the bird flew into a glass door and fell, stunned, at Tunch’s feet (where ever they were hidden under that, that…body.) I’m sure Tunch was stunned, too. Give him an extra hug for me.
SiubhanDuinne
@Raven:
Wait, Tunch caught a REPUBLICAN??
Citizen_X
I’m going to say something very unpopular around here, but here goes: [deep breath]…Given a choice between the two, the world needs fewer cats (domestic or feral) and more wild birds. Seriously: are we going to run out of cats? No, yet the world is full of endangered and threatened bird species. So hooray for any bird that escapes a cat.
Yeah. Sorry to be that guy.
That said…
A bird gets caught by freaking TUNCH, and you interrupted him? That’s messing with natural selection right there.
Anonymous At Work
Check the litter box for a sealed stash of roofies. That’s how Tunch probably did it…
Comrade Dread
I had an Orange fat tabby, who loved to lay around.
We had friends over for dinner and the subject if mice came up, whereupon we said we were glad we had a cat to catch any that came our way. My friend said loudly, that old lazy cat couldn’t catch anything.
Cue next morning when I open the door to let the cat in, and he’s sitting on the porch with a dead mouse at his feet.
I miss that damn cat.
jl
@Citizen_X:
” No, yet the world is full of endangered and threatened bird species. So hooray for any bird that escapes a cat. ”
Ah, but that is why Tunch, who is wiser, merciful and gracious, let it escape.
Edit: Cole gone? OK. Enough of the flattery. I am with the commenter above who said the bird thought Tunch was a wide expanse of some kind, safe to land on.
I would guess the bird mistook Tunch for a mist of some kind, probably lying over a broad (very broad meadow, or perhaps short grass prairie, or old Civil War battlefield at a national park). And Tunch was clearly beffudled that he still had work to do, and the dang bird would not just lie there and submit to being eaten.
Sorry, but the truth can hurt.
Devon
This is hilarious. So much so that I read it three times.
SiubhanDuinne
@JPL:
I assume nothing when it comes to Tunch.
Persia
@MikeBoyScout: That was pretty beautiful.
When I was a kid, our family cat caught a bird. He was on a porch, absolutely no cover, so no bird in their right mind should’ve come near him. This one bluejay thought tormenting the crap out of the cat was a good idea, and apparently tried divebombing.
That was a mistake.
Now my cat was half the size of Tunch, but I consider that proof that birds can pull some pretty dumb shit.
Arclite
@ JC
You may not have a 10 inch penis, but you have 10 inch balls.
greylocks
Some years ago we took in a stray that had been declawed. Because she and the cat we had didn’t get along, we left her outside and on the porch with a kitty-door for her to use. Despite having no claws, she proved to be a prodigious bird-killer. So we put a bell on her. She still managed to kill birds. We tried a different bell. Same difference.
We never did actually see her kill a bird, despite hours of observation. But she was bringing far too many home for us to think she had simply found them already dead.
We finally tried a reflective collar, and the bird-killing largely stopped.
jl
I was an awesome fight, like, uh…
GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA
http://youtu.be/KI-2yud7id8
PeakVT
We should get Cole one of these. Tunch-o-vision!
CaseyL
Oscar not only kills birds, he eats them. The first time I know about, I called him inside because it was dinner time. He came slinking in, in that low crouch cats do, and he had something in his mouth. He put it down next to his dish, and it took me a few seconds to identify it as something other than a large crumpled leaf… because it was a starling and Oscar had already eaten the head.
He settled down to his civilized meal of mass produced canned food… ate a few bites, then washed it down with bird… ate another few bites, and washed it down with bird… until he had eaten the entire bird, feet and all, leaving only a few feathers.
I don’t know where he learned to not only kill but eat his kill. His mother Jeannie doesn’t eat what she kills (SFAIK), while Oscar makes semi-regular snacks of starlings, esp in springtime when they’re nesting. Even the ones I rescue from him, who fly away, wind up settling on a branch low enough for him to grab them back down again.
Neither of them go after the squirrels, but they do watch wistfully as the critters scamper after the nuts I put out for them. Oscar occasionally looks more speculative than wistful, but I think a squirrel would put up too much fight. I have no idea what I would do if he brought an injured one home…run it off to the vet?
Mrs. Whatsit
@slag:
We had that experience (less shedding) when we switched our dog to dehydrated/freeze dried raw. Now he’s moved on to frozen raw, which is much more messy but he prefers.
Edited to clarify
pseudonymous in nc
One of ours is, in normal conduct, the clumsiest and most ungainly of cats, afraid of jumping and capable of falling off the floor, but when it comes to catching mice, he is a verified ninja. Thus, evolution.
noodler
He was bringing it to you, as a gift. Now he’s po’d that you let it get away. Expect more backwash in the water glass.
Omnes Omnibus
@trollhattan: I am a Calvi fan. I posted some links a while ago and others simply dumped on the Tele in favor of Les Pauls. I think they rather missed the point
Citizen_X
Note that Tunch is happily cleaning his guns in that pic. “White paws of death, baby, white paws of death.”
Culture of Truth
FEED
JoyfulA
I had a cat who tried to eat a bird she’d killed and was disgusted. Still, when a bunch of robins went after her (too near the eggs?), she beat them up. I had to clean up the corpses.
Her thing was animal husbandry: locate a nesting rabbit, check twice a day for growth, and then haul one a day to the porch to have for supper, head first, leaving only a small green organ of some sort. Of course, she acquired a blood infection from her natural food, which cost a couple of hundred bucks to cure, but she was happy.
Scamp Dog
@SiubhanDuinne: No, they’re not extinct, unfortunately. Although I have hope…
I can believe the kill, since my Border Collie has caught a few birds. I’m not sure how she does it, but I’ll be walking her off leash, I’ll hear wings flapping–that’s a bird in her mouth!–and then (cue ominous music) the flapping will stop. If I walk toward her, she’ll trot away from me, with a look that says “My bird! I’m not sharing!” Unlike Tunch, she will eat the bird, feet, feathers, and all.
I tell this story to women, and I usually get a “poor bird!” reaction, but from men I get more of “Biscuit the mighty hunter!” (My reaction, too) The exceptions have been women who grow up on farms. I guess they’re a little more used to hunting and the concept of turning live critters into food.
Underneath the cute, cuddly exteriors, dogs and cats are predators by nature.
dww44
@Citizen_X: Actually I agree with you. We’ve an 8 plus year old beautiful(who’s also as fat as Tunch) tuxedo cat who’s been known to catch a few birds. I’ve become a serious bird enthusiast over the last 5 years, and now we keep Squeaky the cat (that’s how she talks, she squeaks) inside lots when the wrens, finches, and blue birds nest in our hanging basket, or the bushes, or the bluebird box in our yard. In fact, her favorite past-time is sitting looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows in the breakfast room at the mixed groups of birds feeding on seed in front of her eyes. She’s gotten used to it. We are almost overrun with chipmunks and she’s caught more of those than birds of late.
muddy
@JoyfulA:
I had a cat who used to bring me half bunnies. Cut neatly behind the shoulders. I got the cute face and he got the butt and the guts. Disgusting.
Omnes Omnibus
@Scamp Dog: My dad took our cocker spaniel hunting once when I was a kid. Beau did everything perfectly – just like the champion pure-bred he was – until he swam out to pick up the bird my dad had just shot. At that point, he basically said, “Ew, it’s dead. I don’t want to touch it,” and lost interest.
Canuckistani Tom
@Anne Laurie:
Exactly
My neighbor’s cat Storm was a silver Persian with a bird bell. Didn’t stop him from hunting birds. He’d wait in the flower garden next to the clothes line for a bird to land on the line. He’d then make a near six ft leap straight up and grab the bird between his front paws.
CaseyL
To us, they’re cuddly purring little love muffins.
But I do sometimes wonder what would happen if I woke up one day three inches tall.
I’d be the best kitty toy ever… briefly :(
Omnes Omnibus
@CaseyL: Have some of the eat me cake.
trollhattan
@Omnes Omnibus:
Not just a Telecaster–a well-used telecaster. Makes a nice contrast when she’s made up in full Palmer Girl regalia.
Noticed some of the stills on her website are by Karl Lagerfeld. I seem to be getting on the bus rather late.
Omnes Omnibus
@trollhattan: Her stage costume is based on flamenco dancers – make-up and hair of the the female dancer and the high-waisted trousers and red shirt of the guy (just ‘cuz she liked it better). Talented young lady.
Galileo126
@JPL…enuf logic…relax.
Humanity and feline is stalking here. I don’t get it, but I think I understand it. Sure, the cat didn’t get the bird, that’s not the point, “Mr. JPL”.
Loosen up. That’s why I left the Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL), eeeeasy, man, eeeeeasy. It’s just a cat.Relax…
-gali
Omnes Omnibus
@Omnes Omnibus: I just know some of this stuff. I am not a stalker or anything.
Violet
Such a great story. Tunch is awesome.
Seth Finkelstein
Something I’ve always wondered – if your pet cat brings you dead prey to “teach” you to hunt, can you ever convince the cat that it’s done a good job teaching, you now DO know how to hunt, thanks so much, and future lessons are unnecessary? I don’t mean conveying “stop doing that, because, I, human, am grossed-out”. But “The Human has learned the lessons imparted by The Cat.” Has anyone ever tried it? What could you do, maybe pounce on a bag of cat food in front of the cat, tear it open with your teeth, and bring it to the cat as proof of a “kill”?
Galileo126
OK – I’m a nube… I got sucked in to a troll.
My bad.
Sorry Tunch, also.
-gali
YT's Mom
We love our tiny predators, (and do I detect a bit of vicarious zest for the kill, and pride in the prowess of little Tabby?) but, sadly, the truth is that domestic cats kill millions of songbirds yearly, many of whom are in decline due to loss of habitat and environmental hazards. In the spring, the fledglings are an easy catch. Do the bird world a favor–they have a lot of work invested in their babies too!–and put a bell on your cat when it goes outside. Then the birds have a flying chance. Kitty can work on her noiseless slinking skills, which can be quite amusing to watch. Also the bell’s cheerful tinkling makes it easier to find your cat outdoors. No other birders around here?
CaseyL
@Seth Finkelstein:
I would do this in a hot second – if someone was there to film it, because my cats’ reactions would be priceless: “Bastet save us, Mom’s gone nuts! Run! Run away!”
Omnes Omnibus
@CaseyL: Do you think that cats care about your decorum as long as they get fed? I speak as a dog person; dogs don’t care – at all. Cats might.
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: Cats are fickle beasts. Mine will turn up her nose at milk unless it’s either A) presented properly or B) in my glass so she can thieve it. Otherwise it’s a white puddle and she ignores it.
Omnes Omnibus
@Yutsano: How odd. With dogs, dignity and pride are within species things. For food and with humans, it is entirely immaterial.
Rita R.
This may be my favorite Balloon Juice post ever. “Maybe Tunch pulled a Newt Gingrich, and just talked until the bird wanted to die” put it over the top.
And since several people have speculated that Tunch’s feathery prey was stunned, I think Monty Python is in order.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6Lq771TVm4
dead existentialist
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
How many times you gonna do this to the poor cat, Rush?
asiangrrlMN
@khead: I. Want. Your. Cat.
COLE! Don’t you malign Tunchie. I’m sure he caught that bird single-pawedly! Look at my beautiful boy. ::pats Tunchie proudly on the head::
slag
@Mrs. Whatsit: Hmmm…thanks for the info. We’ve discussed going to frozen raw but the ick factor is too high for me. Not a fan of dead animal parts, in general.
And, technically, I’m right there with the bird fans here. There are a variety of reasons my cats don’t roam the hood, but the protection of birdlife etc is right up there. Though, one time, a bird ended up in our dryer vent, and in the process of getting it out, it got released into the house. The poor distraught thing ended up in the mouth of one of our cats in about 2.6 seconds. And from there, it was a mad race up the stairs, a lucky grab of the cat’s tail, and a frantic opening of the balcony door to set the bird free. Poor thing. I hope it lived a long life after that experience.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
My guess is that the bird thought Tunch stalking it was actually an eclipse of the sun.
J R in WVa
Cole,
it must be the full moon… Last night the wife opened the door, and said loudly, Pumpkin, what’s in your mouth? Honey, see what’s in Punkin’s mouth!
Well she was holding her head down, chin tucked up, with a big rodent in her mouth!! I grabbed her, and she let it go on the kitchen floor, whence it scurried under the stove!!!
Bad to worse! Cat scurries under stove. She’s on a diet and has lost 3 or 4 pounds, cries pitiously. There’s agonized squeaking and victorious cat sounds, and Punkin crawls out. Thank FSM she caught it again!
I grab her again, with difficulty, she drops rodent, fat gray one with real short tail, about 4 inches long, enfeebled by cat action. Those are the risks when you live in the wilds of WV! Sometime the CAT gets you!
I pick him up and take him outside, as he seems to have a chance at recovery. Big excitement, we pet Punkin and tell her what a fierce kitty she is, and she preens. She’s a fat dark calico, and more agile now that we’ve got her shape from soccer ball to rugby ball.
J R in WVa
@JoyfulA: That’s their gall bladder, tastes terrible I’m told.
We used to have a black cat who caught 4,5,6 rodents a night, ate a couple leaving liver/gall bladder, and the others in a neat row by the door.
Lance Boyle
Congratulations, proud Papa!
Lance Boyle
Congratulations, proud Papa!
Susanne S
Clearly, Tunch is so, um, fluffy, yeah, that’s right, fluffy, that he’s developed gravitational mass, and the bird just got caught in his orbit.
jimbo123
Lucky guy. One of my girls (apparently) bagged a goldfinch once. I say apparently because the only evidence was a pair of disembodied yellow and black wings that showed up in a hairball.
kdaug
@CaseyL:
Funnily enough, there are examples that don’t require re-sizing.
See Lions/Panthers/Cheetahs/Tigers,et.al.
Michele C
@SuperHrefna: And a little exercise with Da Bird might help Tunch, um, lose a little weight. :D
contract3d
Could be worse.
My roommate’s cat had a remarkable genius for catching small wildlife without inflicting any serious injury upon them. And then bringing these small, lively and psychologically traumitized creatures in through the cat door to be dropped proudly at the feet of whoever happened to be home.
I recall one such incident when, after a good half-hour of pursuit of a confused-yet-uninjured finch I finally, halfway up the stairs, managed to trap the bird against the wall using a large salad bowl.
As I was sliding a magazine (Scientific American – hey, I’m a geek,okay?) between bowl and wall to allow me to transport the bird back outside, I turned around to see the cat, who had followed the whole process with a certain disdainful irony, giving me a look that plainly said “Hey – are you gonna eat that or not?”
SBJules
I’m glad Tunch is a catch & release hunter :) Our pampered fellow caught a mouse yesterday. Perhaps it was the sunspots.
Watusie
Tunch DID NOT catch Osama Bird Laden. It was done by our brave and glorious windows, and only thanks to the policies of the previous occupant of the house. Tunch is simply taking credit.
tesslibrarian
Our fatboy Jack would catch birds. We’d hear a commotion in the driveway, and he’d be walking along with a screeching bluejay in his mouth and half a dozen screaming and dive-bombing him as he walked along. Those are the ones we didn’t just find later.
When I was about 7, my aunt and uncle got divorced, and somehow we ended up with their 7-lb. pure-bred, declawed siamese cat who had always lived indoors. Not at my father’s house, so out she went. Within a few weeks, she caught a bird, brought it inside during the night, and it got away. We awoke around midnight to the poor thing trying to escape through the picture window.
The only reason you probably found the bird still alive was Tunch’s instincts are a tad soft from being indoors, much like his big sweet belly. Not to make you less impressed with Tunch, but I think there’s a case to be made that birds are not quite as impossible to catch as it seems to those of us not engineered to be efficient killing machines.
CynDee
We had a smallish cat who, as a young adult in the middle of a summer night killed an 18″ mockingbird, leapt with it In Her Mouth, 5 feet UP to the sill of an open, screenless bedroom window, and dragged the bird into the dining room in the dark.
Dining ensued. We could hear bones popping and cracking, along with other horrid sounds. We didn’t wanna go see this. Next morning we found in the middle of the dining room a very satisfied smallish kitty smiling and contented next to a big pile of feathers. No bones, no beaks, no feet, no blood, just feathers. I got a headache.
My son slept under this window. One night Kitty carried in a squirming mouse, walked right over his head with it. “MOMMMMMMM!” Ughh! Arrrgh!”
Can’t remember why the screen was out.