How did it happen that Rick Santorum is going on the anti-porn crusade Anne Laurie mentions while Pat Robertson wants to legalize bong smoking and is OK with pole smoking and muff diving (as seen in the video, with bonus creepy old man goodness via)? My only touchpoint in this world turned upside down is that Pat and Rick still hate the gays.
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beltane
Pat must have had his meds adjusted. Something like this happened to my grandfather near the end when he developed the habit of riding around in his scooter buck naked.
MattF
@beltane: Yeah… my sweet old Uncle Al got into the habit (when he was well into his 90’s) of calling my sister and announcing “Hey, guess what! I’m naked!”
jibeaux
If you think I’m watching a video of Pat Robertson talking ’bout oral hanky-panky then you are off your meds. But assuming he said that, then yes, I will be on the lookout for horsemen.
Comrade Javamanphil
Since when did sin become defined as “that depends on what’s in your heart?” Sounds like moral relativism to me and everyone knows that’s a liberal fascist worldview.
Schlemizel
I think Patty is hemorrhaging members, donations are down & blood diamonds are not returning like they used to. He needs to try for a younger demo so he cuts some slack on hetro oral & weed in hopes that this loosening of the collar will bring in some new cash. At the same time he still needs to signal to the old donor pile that homos are right out. Its a delicate dance, particularly for a man his age.
c u n d gulag
This has simply GOT to be part of some sort of Conservative plot against oral sex.
Just having that ancient Christianist Codger, Pat Robertson, mention it, will turn-off MILLIONS of people.
“Do I want a blow… HELL NO! YUCK! Pat Robertson mentioned it! EWWWWWWWWWWWW!”
rob!
I’m surprised Robertson is at all interested in that little man in the boat, since I’m reasonably sure that’s not in teh Bible.
JGabriel
@MattF:
If he followed that with, “What are you wearing?”, then cut off his internet access, stat.
.
Schlemizel
@Comrade Javamanphil:
as a kid I got the idea that my Catholic friends really evaluated “whats in your heart”. Certainly for the Baptists this has been an issue (remember Jimmy Carter saying he had committed adultery in his heart – I knew what he meant). The Methodist church I went to didn’t dwell on what was in your heart but more on what your deeds were so it took me a while to get what they were thinking.
Cat Lady
This whole conservative sexy time meltdown is fascinating. The un-self awareness coupled with the neuroses and the unleashing of the unrestrained old white male id would be highly entertaining if they were all just confined to the locked institutions where they belong.
Lee
There is absolutely no way I am watching that video. It is too early in the morning to get that creeped out.
kdaug
Do they have bongs with the Virgin Mary on them?
redshirt
Cats and dogs, living together…. mass hysteria!
geg6
@Cat Lady:
This.
Folks, I’ve lived a pretty long time now (53 years), and I never in my wildest dreams imagined that the 2012 presidential election would see contraception, the sex lives of single adult women, and the value of a college education become wedge issues that the entire GOP field would be elbowing each other out of the way to get further out on the cliff to the right that they have staked their entire party upon. It’s simply astounding to me.
I sure would enjoy this meltdown a lot more if I didn’t live in a state where one of these assholes hails from and where the current governor thinks the old “lie back, close your eyes, and think of Old Glory” is sufficient answer to questions about state mandated rape.
flukebucket
If you THINK it is sin then it is sin. If not it is not. I love that. It is kind of like, “Remember Jerry, it is not a lie if YOU believe it.”
General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)
GREATEST AUCTION ON EARTH
Do you know who bought your tea tard wingnut?
It has been written, that republicans campaign to drain the swamp in DC, but end up drinking fruity drinks in the jacuzzi.
U.S.S. Good Life – all aboard
Suffern ACE
I don’t know what Pat is on about. As for Santorum…porn changes the convo back to an area where conservatives are stronger. They could have stayed with “dems want to give your 10 year old daughter the pill” approach, but they didn’t. Why doesn’t Obama do something about your kid watching porn puts them back in their comfort zone. Why do Dems favor children as young as six watching porn is like a Jesse Helms ad.
beltane
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero): Well, the dumb sh*ts who vote for these teabaggers sincerely believe that their vote will help them get a piece of the grifting action. The entire GOP is made up of two kinds of people: grifters and marks.
kdaug
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero):
Iceberg Dead Ahead!
MattF
@beltane: It’s the long con. FYI, the short con is where you take all the cash the mark has in his pockets, the long con is where you send him home to go get the rest.
I realize a lot of people were traumatized in their high school years by having to read “Moby Dick”–but Melville knew all about this and wrote about it in “The Confidence Man.”
slag
“You’re not going crazy! You’re going sane in a crazy world!”
Cat Lady
@geg6:
Yeah, I live in Massachusetts so I have a relatively safe view of the WTF stuff that’s going on, but it’s like an outbreak of a contagion. It’s got to be eradicated everywhere or no woman, or the real men who love them, is safe.
muddy
@kdaug:
I have a plastic Blessed Mother with a screw-on crown (this just made me think of Judas Priest) that came from Lourdes, and used to have holy water in it. I think it could be transformed into one of those honey bear bongs in a pinch.
Jess
@beltane: Sounds like fun! My grandfather was made of darker stuff; after he retired (surgeon), he would stalk around the property, whiskey in one hand and a chain saw in the other, looking for things to chop down. Just a little bit of repressed anger there…
Frankensteinbeck
@geg6:
I didn’t expect to see this either, but only because Reagan showed them how to lie better about it.
@Cat Lady:
Trust me, men are on the list. They always have been. It’s like they’re going right through everything they’ve had to pretend they don’t want for decades. Destroying Medicare came out, overturning most equality laws came out, now the sexytime stuff that mostly affects women is out. I think music censorship is next, but technology may have made that incomprehensible to them. After that, I think… finally overt rather than even the most thinly disguised racism? Dunno, that’s before my time.
Hawes
Perhaps, as Pat Robertson moves inexorably closer to the day he will meet his Maker, he is beginning to realize there is no biblical injunction to be a complete dickheard peckerwood all the time.
Bongs and blow jobs? A compassionate man can get behind that. Not your usual Evangelical dickhead perckerwood, but a compassionate man.
Bill Arnold
Things change. When I was a toddler, it was OK to smoke on airplanes and gay sex was illegal. Now it’s reversed.
MattF
@Hawes: It’s quite remarkable to hear Robertson using the c-word. The overwhelming evidence, however, is that he doesn’t know what it means.
the fugitive uterus
Pat keeps wandering off the reservation these days – it must sure be “The End Times”!
But then again, the light went out in the attic a looong time ago.
Quaker in a Basement
Huh. Huh-huh. mistermix said ‘touchpoint.’
SRW1
I guess we can now conclude for sure that this Pat Robertson fella ain’t gonna be the dark horse at the Republican convention in Tampa.
Some Guy
You know what I find most funny about Republicans current pretzel logic about hating sexy-time and women generally is that they are trying to cast Dems as the ones making it happen. Like they are the victims.
But of course they are the victims – of their own beliefs. Their attempt to cast the Dems as at fault for making this the Spring of Defending Women is that they have been forced, absolutely forced, almost transvaginally forced, to express their true feelings about women’s slutty slutness.
They are just defending their 1st Amendment right to morally condemn women for needing healthcare for their bits and pieces and, coincidentally, enjoying their bits and pieces. That’s all – their right to be moral reprobates should not be a political issue; those evil Dems are ruining there woman-hatin’ party by making them get all honest about it and such.
Idiots.
John M. Burt
@Comrade Javamanphil: That was my first thought. If he had said “It’s only okay if both parties are GGG”, it would have been even more shocking, but more logically consistent with the rest of his policy.
John M. Burt
@General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero): Re the S.S. Good Life, two references come to mind.
One is the obvious, the short story “It’s a Good Life”, that was made into a Twilight Zone episode (and a Simpsons Halloween special, also).
The other is even more pointed, that in Fred Saberhagen’s Berzerker stories, when a human chose to serve the killer robots in their crusade against organic life, s/he was called a “Goodlife”. I have long felt that this word, like “robot” and “flash mob”, should make the transition from science fiction jargon to common language.
The Repub party, long under the influence of people who have turned Goodlife, has now fallen completely under their sway.
Villago Delenda Est
@Some Guy:
Corey Robin makes this point in “The Reactionary Mind”…the conservative is ALWAYS a victim, an aggrieved victim, who had something taken away from him, and wants it back.
wenchacha
Please somebody ask him if a loving hetero married couple can have anal sex with God’s blessings.