Happy first day of Spring! As a child of the Cold War (my school never bothered with duck-and-cover kabuki, because as New Yorkers we expected to be ash before the flash), I’m pleased to know that some brave souls are still dedicated to “Building A Better Apocalypse“:
ON Chris Hackett’s personal periodic table, the world’s most interesting, and abundant, substance is an element he calls obtainium. Things classified as obtainium might include the discarded teapot that he once turned into a propane burner, or the broken beer bottle he used to make a razor, or the 9-millimeter shell casings he acquired some time ago, melted in a backyard foundry (also made of obtainium) and cast into brass knuckles for a girlfriend.
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If you ask Mr. Hackett — or Hackett, as he is uniformly known in the Brooklyn bohemia that skips south, from the G station at Greenpoint Avenue to the Gowanus Canal — where he got the components for his homemade still or the numerous jet engines he has built from scratch, he will likely shrug, smile and say, “Around.”
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Last month, Mr. Hackett, 39, was working in his Gowanus workshop, a ground-floor space on Butler Street, near the head of the canal. The workshop is a veritable obtainium mine. In one corner sat an upright piano transformed into a cabinet for fasteners. In another was a rack of reclaimed two-inch metal tubing. There were doctored band saws, jury-rigged drill presses, repurposed metal barrels. A shop cat, Shop Cat, napped in front of a plastic chest of drawers marked with labels reading, “ball bearings,” “flange bearings,” “regulators,” “pulleys,” “rivets,” “channel locks,” “drills” and “more drills.” The backyard was heaped with obtainium: half of a car’s rear axle, bolted I-beams, a yellow boat built from scrap.
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As he often does, Mr. Hackett was procrastinating, trying to overcome his easily inspired distractedness and get to work on one of the many projects he juggles at any given time. Not long ago, he was hired by Ben Cohen, of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, to help construct an art van for the Occupy Wall Street movement, a sort of mobile media center with a crank-lift-mounted video projector and rooftop speakers like those heard during Latin American elections. He is also working on an installation for the Honey Space Gallery in Manhattan, in which an old bicycle pump will run a pneumatic engine, which will in turn run the tiny television screens he rescued from the viewfinders of junked video cameras…
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His most ambitious current project is probably the book he is writing, with a proposed companion television show, about how to survive the apocalypse, in style, using the debris: an apotheosis of his obtainium obsession.
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“When I read ‘The Road,’ ” he said, referring to Cormac McCarthy’s post-apocalyptic novel, “it got me thinking: ‘O.K., so there’s all this stuff lying around. How do you recreate civilization?’ I did some research and figured out the two most important things you’d need are car batteries and Drano.”…
Speaking of Zombie Apocalypse, anybody got an opinion about the GOP primary in Illnois?
Jebediah
Since it is an open thread, I took a picture of the still-very-handsome Otto the other day.
WereBear
Very handsome! Now, the little guy with the ears, he’s cute.
Jebediah
@WereBear:
Thanks! He’s still a looker.
Yeah, the little one’s Juno. She loves her big brother like crazy. Maybe I can train her to be a hearing-ear dog for him; he seems to have lost his hearing and she is, well, well-equipped in that department.
Edited just because.
Arclite
I’ve seen his current show, Stuck with Hackett, a few times. It’s pretty cool the way he shows you how to turn junk into something useful, although the items are often a bit too whimsical to be useful.
danielx
Zombie Apocalypse or Bataan Death March, take your pick. At this point, couldn’t the Republicans just throw all the candidates in a pit of rabid wolverines and declare the survivor the winner?
WereBear
@danielx: Mmmm; Zombie Apocalypse. Might have the same bad outcome, but at least you have a (literal) shot at it!
Jebediah
and now time for bed
WereBear
She’s probably already doing that for him. Dogs have incredible body language skills; Otto can look at Juno and know what is going on.
Joseph Nobles
I think it’s in bad taste to compare the Republican primary to the Bataan Death March. After all, the marchers knew they might actually die and end it all.
Jebediah
@WereBear:
Maybe that’s why she makes so much physical contact with him. Affection and security, sure, but maybe she is aware that he needs her help, too.
Citizen_X
Apropos of absolutely nothing, except the fact that it’s an open thread, I had a dream the other night. In this house (?), in some town, they had a list on the wall of numbers for the local law enforcement agencies. The heading was “Shooty Community Services ”
Thought people here might appreciate that.
max
I did some research and figured out the two most important things you’d need are car batteries and Drano.
The most important thing is to have the how-to manuals. Otherwise the Drano and the car batteries and everything else don’t matter. (Otherwise a man after my own heart.)
Romney wins Ill, establishment sayeth that we must have Romney because he’s ‘one of us’, Santorum still running anyways, Newt still exists, will now maybe consider dropping out after Texas et al.
max
[‘Newt for UN Ambassador – now there’s an indication of Romney’s lack of skill at personnel management.’]
EriktheRed
Yeah.
As a resident, it would really bug the shit out of me to find out my state has enough wingnuts for Santorum to win it in the primary, even if he had no chance of winning it in the general.
the fugitive uterus
i can no longer stomach Morning Ho so I have the teevee tuned to CSPAN where Romney is giving some kind of speech and Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
the fugitive uterus
sheesh, gotta get ready for work – i am trying to wake up here!
Linda Featheringill
Well, it is an open thread . . . .
My garden.
I harvested the last of greens from the fall/winter garden in January. I cut everything off down to just above the ground.
First day of this warm spell, I went out to check it out and the damn stuff was coming back! Absolutely amazing!
I had several spinach plants with leaves about 6 inches long. Plus a few other things. So I got busy and stuck spinach seeds into the empty spots. Now I have spinach sprouts about an inch long.
Bear in mind that the time for planting in this area is Memorial Day. This is the first day of spring. And I actually have a viable garden. Wow.
Happy first day of spring!
the fugitive uterus
just imagining the debates now, hooboy
the fugitive uterus
@Linda Featheringill: Linda, we had no real winter here this year. the climate-change denier bloviators have been awfully quiet this year.
Linda Featheringill
@the fugitive uterus:
We have had a warm winter. I hope this spell will prove to be an outlying aberration and not a warning that every season will be 15 to 20 degrees hotter than normal.
debbie
I was just listening on NPR to Romney pandering to the wingnuts by turning every question about women’s healthcare — even when the questioner specified she was not referring to contraception — right back into his promise to defund Planned Parenthood. Is he so misguided he thinks he can win back the moderates once the general campaign begins?
WereBear
@Jebediah: I’m sure she does. That pic where her paws are on his torso? She’s guarding him. From whatever.
Dogs are great that way.
SiubhanDuinne
Anne Laurie: no shoutout to the Vernal Equinox?
But yesterday was, technically, still winter. And my local NPR station last night informed me that the pollen count in Atlanta yesterday was the highest ever on record.
The. Highest. Pollen. Count. EVER.
In WINTER.
danielx
@Linda Featheringill:
Got that right – it’s supposed to be 85 here today, which is about 30 higher than normal for this time of year. If it’s 30 degrees above normal in August, it’s going to be time to think about relocating to the Yukon.
Joseph Nobles
I finally cancelled my cable. I’ve got other things I want to purchase and cable was the logical thing to go. I’ll still get Game of Thrones and everything else at a friend’s house, but I just can’t afford U-Verse any longer.
I was just going to do Internet with them, but then found out that if I get a new phone with my cellphone company (T-Mobile), it can do it all. Yes, I’m in with a 2-year plan with them, but for a $49 phone and $40 more a month, I get their highest level of data streaming and the phone becomes a hotspot. I can plug it into the laptop or computer, but if I want to stream a movie on Netflix on my Xbox, it can connect wirelessly to the new phone. They swear it will stream HD effortlessly. I might have to buy a chill pad for the phone, but if it works out as planned, I’ll be saving $150 a month to pay down the credit card and hit the Austin Film Festival this year.
At least I caught the Walking Dead finale before I cut the cord.
SiubhanDuinne
@SiubhanDuinne:
Duh, apparently I can’t read first thing in the morning. Post’s first words were “Happy first day of spring!”
Apologies, Anne Laurie. I should have known you wouldn’t overlook a seasonal event.
Omnes Omnibus
@danielx: So you are saying they should run a wolverine? It will give them a chance in Michigan, I guess.
MikeJ
Anyone watching that old queen on BBC?
Certified Mutant Enemy
@MikeJ:
Rush Limbaugh is on the BBC?
kay
Debbie, I really think conservatives don’t have anything to offer on healthcare, and that’s why they’re focusing on sluts.
I heard Santorum yesterday and he is STILL piously droning on about prenatal testing. He had a back and forth with one of the GOP base where he and the male fan were seriously debating whether pregnant women could be trusted with the decision to get testing, except neither one ever mentioned the mother. She was referred to only in the abstract, as “a pregnancy”.
I can’t imagine being female and sitting there silently at a GOP event, listening to these two debate whether I’m worthy of decision-making authority.
They’re lying when they say liberals created the slut theme they’re pushing.
They won’t shut up about it.
Attacking women as stupid and reckless and immoral is a tactic.
MikeJ
@Certified Mutant Enemy: In honor of not having a real job for 60 years, the queen says she’s gonna be even queenier than ever.
To celebrate, tonight I will dine on roast corgi.
Certified Mutant Enemy
Now there’s actual news on BBC America…
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
just wanted to put this here.
jasiri x
trayvon
can’t say much else but it would be good to see a federal trial, that would properly embarrass the sanford police.
THE
I don’t know if anyone has already posted a link to the awesome Dogs Against Romney site.
Schlemizel
The local paper ‘StarTribune’ has a page 1 above the fold reprint of an NYT story that has gotten attention on the Internet for some time. Every simulation of an attack on Iran ends badly for us. http://www.startribune.com/nation/143422966.html
Rumor is it was people inside the Pentagon that have leaked, and been pushing, this story. Seems they may not be as gung ho to get their war on further as some of the folks on the civilian side of things. I don’t know if all the saber rattling is just for the benefit of scaring the Iranians or if we really are being run by mentally deficient AIPAIC zombies. There was an attempt in the run up to the fuck up in Iraq to suggest that all the happy talk was just posturing to get Saddam to back down. Turned out reeeeeeel well for us then.
Schlemizel
@Marcellus Shale, Public Dick:
Newest twist on the story: NPR is reporting Mr. Zimmerman is Hispanic. They mentioned it several times & even commented that he can speak Spanish.
Oh well then, thats OK. Just one colored fella shooting another colored fella so nothing to see here move along.
I don’t give a good goddam what the supposed color of the participants were (although my guess is had Mr. Z been black and Trayvon ‘Hispanic’ the trail would be starting in two weeks). The case is a man seeks a confrontation he had been told not to seek, then shoots the unwilling participant in the confrontation to death and claims self defense.
Elizabelle
@Jebediah:
Those are some beautiful pups. Glad you’ve got Juno as a companion for Otto.
Joseph Nobles
And the Internet is won today by some guy I can’t retweet:
Lord love that pore ole Tebow.
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
@Schlemizel:
well, zimmerman being whatever doesn’t really change the essential dynamics of why he thought he could, should, and probably had a burning desire to do what he did.
according to a fox35 reporter on twitter(former pittsburgh source of morning lumber sonni abatta) zimmerman called the police 46 times in 11 years.
chrome agnomen
14 degrees here. al gore is fatter than evah!
redshirt
According to zombie lore, how long can your typical zombie last? Do they gain sustenance from the BRAINS and thus extend their undead life?
I ask because waiting out the zombie apocalypse always seems like the best idea, if you could do it. Would make a boring movie/book though. But how long would you have to wait to be reasonably safe? 6 months? Longer?
aretino
@danielx:
It has been almost 40 degress warmer than normal here. If summer is anything like that, I think the power grid will fail.
debbie
@ kay:
But it’s an unbelievably stupid tactic. Why alienate 50% of the electorate?
I did graphic design for the local PP affiliate for about ten years, and of all the people I saw picketing the office where abortions were performed, not one single one was a woman. Ever.
I’m disappointed that conservative women have not objected more forcefully. Supporting pro-life is one thing, but to stand silent in the face of anti-women statements is unconscionable. How can anyone walk back something like that?
gnomedad
I drove from the Waukesha, WI area to the western burbs of Chicago via backroads Sunday and saw lots of “We Stand With Scott Walker” and Santorum signs. Not a single Romney sign. So there’s that.
Ash Can
@EriktheRed:
In the event he does, keep in mind that there might be Dems taking GOP ballots today just to vote for Torquemada for lulz. (I won’t be among them; I’m afraid of breaking out in hives from looking at all teh stoopid on the GOP ballot.)
chopper
gowanus is chock full of junk artists and collectors. it’s pretty rad, but the neighborhood is slowly getting whiter and more condo-y. now that the canal is a superfund site, if it eventually gets dredged and cleaned up, all the car shops and metalworkers and shit are going to get forced out and west of 4th ave is just going to become ‘park slope west’ or something.
chopper
@Joseph Nobles:
also, the marchers actually were supposed to be going some place.
danielx
@debbie:
Is this a rhetorical question?
Not to belabor the obvious or bury you in snark, but back up and think about what you’re asking, and about whom you’re asking it. When did stupidity – or recklessness or immorality for that matter – ever stop Republicans/wingnuts from pursuing a tactic or policy? See Iraq, privatizing Social Security, tax cuts, etc etc etc. I sometimes think the more stupid a given policy or tactic is, the better they like it.
danielx
@debbie:
Also, too – there are a significant number of women who fall under the heading of evangelicals or whatever who are not going to vote for Obama or any Democrat under any circumstances whatsoever – uh uh, no way, never happen. It wouldn’t matter if the remaining Republican candidates got up on stage and sang “all women are harlots of Satan” in four part harmony*, they’d still vote against the soshulist Kenyan imposter.
*Wait for the recording to come out, it’s gonna be big.
22over7
@redshirt:
Depends on who’s doing the telling. Romero speculated in Day of the Dead that a zombie could live for a decade or more, even if the flesh rotted away, because the primordial part of the brain that controlled the zombie would still be viable.
You can’t really wait them out. As long as they’re out there, they’re infecting others, who are younger and fresher. Gotta go shoot ’em in the head.
Anyway, I threw out my back this morning (by stupidly bending over, I have to stop such acrobatics), so I’ll be here all morning to answer your zombie-related questions.
Ash Can
@danielx: Moreover, there was a commenter here the other day who described herself as a former right-winger, who explained that when right-wing women hear all the misogynistic rhetoric, they believe it applies to other women, not them. She basically explained it as them lying to themselves, and it certainly makes sense.
AA+ Bonds
I hope he knows how to do surgery
Because what will actually happen if civilization collapses is that people will die off randomly and preparation won’t do much good; the rise of violent death rates back up to 16th C. England levels will take care of the hoarders
redshirt
@22over7: I thought the Max Brooks Zombie rules had been accepted as de facto in the Zombie mythos these days. But they mostly align with Romero.
In WWZ, Brooks had zombies in Canada and northern US freezing during winter, than thawing out in spring good as new (for a zombie).
So, given that, I assume a hot, moist climate would be the best place to try and wait them out, as the zombies are likely to degrade much more quickly. And even if they are still “undead”, if they’re little more than a skeleton than waiting them out is a viable option. Hard to eat your brains if they can’t move. Maybe a year? I mean, in New Orleans a zombie is gonna be a pile of maggots in a few weeks. The infection should burn through the living population very quickly.
AA+ Bonds
You know what is way cooler than planning for something imaginary or ridiculous
Planning for hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, earthquakes, etc.
AA+ Bonds
My experience is that most of the kids I know who are like “zombie apocalypse check out my bat with nails through it” don’t have an emergency kit or know the evacuation route if, say, the local nuke plant melts down
AA+ Bonds
@Ash Can:
There was a study recently, don’t know if it’s been repeated, but it showed that women with poor opinions of other women respond positively to flirting that insults or degrades them
I think there is an erotic and unconscious component to anti-feminist thought among women
kay
@debbie:
Because they think they can do both. They think they can attack women as stupid reckless sluts, while assuring women that’s not what’s happening.
Santorum’s wife is doing exactly that. Her statements on CNN sound NOTHING like her husband’s statements. That’s deliberate.
The attacks on women HELP THEM with some portion of their (male) base. I think that’s new on the Right. This is a deliberate tactic.
Mr B
The best thing you’ll see today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxch-yi14BE
22over7
Redshirt, you may be on to something. Everyone waits out the zombie apocolypse in Augusta, Georgia. Heck, I’d be a pile of maggots within a few weeks if I lived somewhere that muggy.
But if you’re going by Brooks’ dogma, New Orleans wouldn’t work so well either. Zombies don’t drown, and they don’t disintegrate under water. So they’d just be walking up from the Gulf every day.
If you really want to wait it out, get a solid house (cabin, hotel like the one in the Shining, prison) up in the mountains, get some goats and a greenhouse, and forage for supplies in the winter.
redshirt
@22over7: I know they don’t drown, but they do degrade, right? A zombie is not immortal. Or are they?
Do they actually get sustenance from BRAINS? Or is that just a compulsion they follow?
A tree house fort might be the best place to wait out the zombies. Provided you don’t have to come down for several months. So, a deluxxe tree house fort.
A Humble Lurker
@redshirt:
There’s also the hurricanes, tornadoes, and natural disasters. I doubt zombies would be that prepared for things like that. Maybe a good strategy would be to track storms, watch them hit from a safe distance, then move in, as the storms will have wiped out the zombies in the area.
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
@redshirt:
i could do 6 months standing on my head. which, if you think about it, is ideal fighting posture for hand to hand with zombies.
Jebediah
@WereBear:
I already love them both to pieces, of course, but that’s making me a bit verklempt right now. I hadn’t even considered that she would be protective of him – after all, it was his protectiveness of her that brought her out of her shy, scared shell and let her be the confident, outgoing, highly sociable girl she is today.
And also because Otto is extra-special – we inherited him from his original owner, my baby brother, who passed away at 27 (Otto was about 9 months.)
Jebediah
@Elizabelle:
Thanks! I think Otto is now glad to have Juno around, too. He seemed a bit unsure at first, but has definitely warmed up to her now.
Origuy
Speaking of natural disasters, there was just a 7.4 earthquake in Oaxaca, Mexico.