Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

No Justins, No Peace

Let’s finish the job.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

This blog will pay for itself.

Consistently wrong since 2002

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Republicans in disarray!

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

A consequence of cucumbers

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

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67Comments

  2. 2.

    AA+ Bonds

    Another guy who wants Paul Ryan to be President: Erskine Bowles, Obama appointee to cochair the Catfood Commission

    wocka wocka

    He said this in a speech at UNC last year

  6. 6.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    The Serious Paul Ryan might be a good running mate. The one we’ve actually got on the other hand is useless.

  7. 7.

    eyelessgame

    It’ll be one member or another of the Ayn Rand Paul Ryan philosophical human centipede.

  8. 8.

    MattF

    In fact, Mitt choosing Ryan for VP wouldn’t surprise me, based on winger-Romney’s politics. I do understand that the phonemic entities emerging from Romney’s vocalization organ don’t actually mean anything– however the audience at the Republican convention will be mostly wingers, so Romney will be trying to placate them, and that doesn’t leave a lot of choices besides Joe The Plumber.

  10. 10.

    BGK

    SATSQ in abeyance for the moment.

    On a non-political site I frequent, a frequent poster has derailed a thread into a discussion about why southerners fly the “Stars and Bars.” Most of the follow-ups are from posters repelled at the flag and what it represents (which somewhat refreshes my faith in humanity). The de-railer is getting seriously spun up over the multiple tired tropes of: most southerners didn’t own slaves/it’s heritage not hate/it never was the Confederate flag anyway. She’s really whanging away, though, on OMG STATES RIGHTS. Which were so thoroughly and cruelly trampled by the northerners.

    Why is it that not one of these neo-fascists ever actually says what those OMG STATES RIGHTS being trampled were? Aside from, I dunno, owning people as property??? Has anyone ever gotten into an argument with a neo-Confederate where he or she was more specific than that?

  13. 13.

    Napoleon

    @BGK:

    Has anyone ever gotten into an argument with a neo-Confederate where he or she was more specific than that?

    I have not but I understand they will mumble something about high tariffs, which of course wasn’t the reason the south started the war.

  16. 16.

    Ben Franklin

    Waiting for the erudite, think-on-your-feet Mitt to answer why he’s hatin’ on the Seniors.

  18. 18.

    Linnaeus

    @BGK:

    Why is it that not one of these neo-fascists ever actually says what those OMG STATES RIGHTS being trampled were?

    These neofascists/feudalists also never seem to know that, under the constitution of the Confederacy they love so much, there was a peculiar institution that no state in the Confederacy could end even if the state’s citizenry wanted to do so. Wonder what that was…?

  19. 19.

    ericblair

    So, really, does someone actually have to shake the Rombot to reset him? You’d think this could cause some damage to his hard drive if it isn’t parked properly. I’m wondering if you could just format the drive or if you have to delete his root partition before you reinstall RomOS.

    Oh, and do you have to use the latest version of RomOS? ‘Cuz it’s probably full of bugs, I don’t think it has a command line interface, it won’t support the older money management and healthcare apps, and the GUI looks like it was designed by a kindergarten class with poster paints.

  21. 21.

    Jewish Steel

    Here is the value of a music teacher:

    As a guitarist of average abilities I know one thing I have have going for me is my capacity to practice. Practice and practice and think about practicing and flog myself through yet another round of practicing.

    So, when I took up another instrument, voice, I applied the same principle. If anything, I started out as a less-than-average vocalist. Obviously, if I am starting out in deficit territory, I must practice ever harder. Indeed when I had a gig or recording coming up I would double up on rehearsal sessions. Just like I did with the guitar!

    Last year, with the band playing less, I would come to the microphone sometimes not having sung for quite a while. I noticed I had a great deal of control over tone and pitch and even could coax some vibrato out of my voice. So if you don’t shout yourself hoarse, repeatedly, for days on end, you can sing better? Really?

    I am a self-taught singer. Very likely, a teacher would’ve clued me in early on. Instead, I wasted a lot of effort that could have been put to use in other ways

  23. 23.

    Ash Can

    Fred Barnes at the Weekly Standard can’t help himself, suggesting that the Serious Paul Ryan should be Romney’s running mate.

    Hell, I think that would be awesome. Can’t you just hear the stump speeches?

    Romney: “Bzzzt. Bzrrrrrt. Skreeeeebloop.”
    Paul: “Elect us and you’ll never see another Medicare benefit ever.”
    Romney: ::404::

    The Obama campaign wouldn’t have to spend a penny on political ads. The nightly news reports would be all they’d need.

  24. 24.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @BGK: I’ve noticed here in Texas that a lot of the people who claim that it was over states’ rights have no idea what rights the states were wanting. That’s why I keep a copy of the part of the Texas Declaration of Secession in my wallet. It contains:

    We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment; that they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and dependent race, and in that condition only could their existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.
    __
    That in this free government all white men are and of right ought to be entitled to equal civil and political rights; that the servitude of the African race, as existing in these States, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free, and is abundantly authorized and justified by the experience of mankind, and the revealed will of the Almighty Creator, as recognized by all Christian nations; while the destruction of the existing relations between the two races, as advocated by our sectional enemies, would bring inevitable calamities upon both and desolation upon the fifteen slave-holding states.

    For any other state, go here.

    I showed this to one of my coworkers who was saying similar things, and his response was “Well, that kind of puts it all right up front.”

  26. 26.

    priscianusjr

    Booman, didn’t you have a thread the other day on who Romney could possibly choose as his running mate? Well, kudos to Fred Barnes, this is sheer genius. Paul Ryan would be just the perfect choice.

  27. 27.

    jrg

    The Ryan plan’s a joke. Want me to take it seriously? Yank “entitlements” from current seniors. Not those of us who will enter retirement at some later date.

    I refuse to listen to geriatric wingnuts lecture the rest of us about “sacrifice” if they refuse to bend over and take it in the ass. Pretending that the Ryan plan will go into effect later, because there’s no political will to do it today is as wanktastic as it gets.

  29. 29.

    Uncle Cosmo

    They really oughta rename that rag The American Standard–as the perfect bus-station-washroom reading companion for what the Murdochs have turned into the Wall Street Urinal.

  30. 30.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    Here’s an idea: let the phrase “keep shaking that Etch-a-Sketch” become the family-friendly version of “keep fucking that chicken”. I’m sure the Romney campaign would be delighted to have their intended campaign tactics immortalized in the form of a quick and easy catchphrase.

  31. 31.

    priscianusjr

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment

    Fuck yeah! Little known fact, the Mexican War was fought not so much to add territory to the United States, as to add new slave states to the South. The basic idea was to continue down through all of Mexico and into Central and South America. Ulysses S. Grant (Personal Memoirs) noted that the annexation of Texas was “from the inception of the movement to its final consummation, a conspiracy to acquire territory out of which slave states might be formed for the American Union.”

  33. 33.

    priscianusjr

    @priscianusjr:

    Booman, didn’t you have a thread the other day on who Romney could possibly choose as his running mate?

    Hey, sorry Zandar, must be getting old, I forgot what blog I was reading. But Booman’s on the BJ blogroll, can’t be too bad, LOL.

  34. 34.

    Napoleon

    @priscianusjr:

    That is why they were always jones to invade Cuba down south as well. There is a reason that congressman Lincoln was against the Mexican War.

  37. 37.

    Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor

    @S. cerevisiae:

    Paul Ryan: From let’s eat, grandma! to let’s eat grandma!

    …further proof that the Oxford Comma must be protected, at all costs.

  39. 39.

    Svensker

    @Jewish Steel:

    So if you don’t shout yourself hoarse, repeatedly, for days on end, you can sing better? Really?

    Practicing singing is not the same as “shouting yourself hoarse”. If you push too hard, you damage the vocal chords, see Adele, surgery.

  40. 40.

    Keith G

    A Ryan VP slot would make me crazy happy. I am pretty sure Joe Biden could make him cry.

  43. 43.

    dmsilev

    In other insanity news, this, from Media Matters is somewhere between hilarious and pathetic:

    In what is probably the biggest mail-related flop since Kevin Costner’s The Postman, WorldNetDaily supersleuth and Where’s The Birth Certificate? author Jerome Corsi is out with a new report today suggesting the Ayers family paid for “foreigner” Obama’s education.
    __
    The allegations are based on Corsi’s conversations with former USPS postman Allen Hulton, who says that he used to deliver mail to Bill Ayers’ parents in a Chicago suburb in the late 80s and early 90s. This should prove to be rock-solid.
    […]
    After Hulton asked Obama what his plans were after he finished school, Obama revealed that his presidency may have “already been pre-arranged” through his confident tone and vaguely Indonesian grinning

    So, there you have it. Bill Ayers is just the front-man for the conspiracy. The *real* masterminds were his parents.

  45. 45.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @MattF:

    “This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God.”

    I still don’t see anything wrong with that.

    Signed,
    Jesus Rand

  46. 46.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @dmsilev:

    vaguely Indonesian grinning

    I have no idea wtf that means. But I’m going to learn how to do it so I can scare the neighbor kids on Halloween.

  47. 47.

    different-church-lady

    Dear Cole: if you don’t make “Vetting the Bed” a category I’m going to… I’m going to… I’m going to persistently write you E-MAIL insisting you make Vetting the Bed a category.

  50. 50.

    Brachiator

    From Gawker, A Hunger Games Explainer.

    Hunger Games mania is upon us. The Young Adult trilogy-turned-blockbuster is due out this weekend, and some of you out there still have no idea what these crazy Food Games are all about. Fear not, as we have compiled a detailed Hunger Games explainer, just in time for G-day. Be you screaming tween, good-sporting parent, or disgruntled old timer, this explainer will guide you as we as a nation prepare for the newest (and unavoidable) pop-culture phenom.

    I was listening to a movie related podcast the other night. One guy noted that his daughters and friends had already purchased advance ticket to see the film. Twice.

    It’s gonna be big.

    Hear me now and thank me later.

  53. 53.

    David Koch

    The poor should just be ground up into tortillas anyway.

    What’s wrong with that?

    When do you ever see elite “liberal” bloggers write about the poor? Never. To the contrary, many of our progressive betters are supporting Ron “gut the poor” Paul.

  56. 56.

    cmorenc

    @MattF:

    the audience at the Republican convention will be mostly wingers, so Romney will be trying to placate them, and that doesn’t leave a lot of choices besides Joe The Plumber.

    This is exactly why Joe the Lieberman wasn’t a viable choice within the party for McCain’s VP running mate.

  57. 57.

    danielx

    Well, if Paul Ryan doesn’t work out the Marquis could always have Dick Cheney raised out of his crypt. He knows a lot more than Ryan about grinding people into the dirt, and I’ll bet after a couple of blender pitchers of pureed live puppies he’d be good to go.

  60. 60.

    Schlemizel

    @BGK:
    Years ago I was on a listserv on the American Civil war and the arguments were legend but the poor little Southrons only had a tiny handful of arguments that were easily shown to be false. This led to them jumping from argument to argument rather than admit they had no answer to the original response.

    My favorite one was the time I used Confederate documents to dismantle this fine old Virgina gentleman’s horsehockey and his response was that he could not possibly be wrong because he was a direct descendant of Harry Lee and therefor RE Lee.

    You can’t win with them you can only hope to shut them up and convince a neutral observer that they are insane & wrong

  61. 61.

    catclub

    I think having both a Pres and VP candidate with the same shoe-polish styled Ronald Reagan hair would be creepy, but maybe that is just me.

    Of course, since they both also qualify under the ‘hollow eyed granny starver’ description, they might as well have the same hair.

  62. 62.

    Brachiator

    @Schlemizel:

    You can’t win with them you can only hope to shut them up and convince a neutral observer that they are insane & wrong

    Neutral observers? I am always amused that libertarians often echo the big lie that the Civil War was about states’ rights, and that these same libertarians typically ignore the fact that the Southern economy was the antitheisis of the free market.

    It also reminds me of fraud historians like Victor Hanson, who love praising the Spartans as a model for rugged individualist Real Americans, and totally ignore the entire Spartan enslavement of the helots thingy.

  63. 63.

    Schlemizel

    @priscianusjr:
    Yes, Mexico had outlawed slavery which was intolerable to those fine white gentlemen so they had to break away.

    Also, bands of mercenaries were raised throughout the South in the mid-1800’s to invade various Central American countries with the goal of making them slave state. They actually had some success but the nations often banded together to throw them out. The repeated invasions of Spanish held Cuba caused the Spanish government to threaten war against the US if they continued.

    If you go to the Confederate museum in New Orleans you will see a park across the street. In that park is a stone with a bronze plaque saying that on this spot an army was raised to invade Cuba and make it part of the US.

  64. 64.

    LAC

    Jennifer Rubin must be levitating with all the orgasms she is having about this possibility. She loves the zombie eyed granny killer with the passion of a bobby-soxer.

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