Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

Welcome to day five of every-bit-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would-be.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

The willow is too close to the house.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

People are weird.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

When I was faster i was always behind.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / Baby I like it raw

Baby I like it raw

by | 40 Comments

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Congrats to ABL on her move to RawStory. You can hit the tip jar for her here. People think her appearance here was all John’s doing but it was really me who first started linking to her because I liked this phrase:

Yesterday on my way back from San Francisco, I stopped to buy a couple magazines for those excruciating 10 minutes during take off and landing when those asshole flight attendants make me turn my iCrap off. What am I supposed to do? Read the SkyMall catalog?

Reader Interactions

40Comments

  1. 1.

    handy

    it was really me who first started linking to her

    Must be some kind of DougJ Fanclub membership drive happening. I look forward to how this turns out.

  2. 2.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    Congrats, indeed!

    OT, here’s a clip of the Frothmeister apparently catching himself just as he was about to call Obama an anti-war, government Nickelback fan. Fortunately, he realized at the last second that that would be going too low by half.

  3. 3.

    clayton

    I’ve always preferred you and ABL and Zander to the originals, including AL.

    That nonsense about Corner Stone should have sent AL to the dustbin, but all we get is hand-wringing over the race of the poster.

    Fight the man dougj.

  8. 8.

    freelancer

    @Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn:

    I remember reading something about that this morning and then I went back to sleep ’cause I had the day off and wanted to sleep in, dammit. While I slept, I dreamt that he actually said the full Ni-CLANG! without apology and nothing of consequence happened. Nothing.

    This election cycle is going to kill me.

  9. 9.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    @clayton:

    Front pagers are on a roll tonight! Li’l ol’ me just can’t keep up.

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    but it was really me who first started linking to her because I liked this phrase:

    This really speaks to who you are as a person DougJ.
    I mean, in the moronic sense, of course.

  14. 14.

    Alison

    My mom actually did read the SkyMall catalog once. I know because when she called me after landing she insisted on telling me about one or two or 2782 things in it.

    ABL, you know I love you and you have made Twitter infinitely more enjoyable, but alas, I must pinch aaaalllll mah pennies these days. No income right now as I am amidst the probably-four-month wait to see if the federal government decides that my decrepit ass is, in fact, decrepit and deigns to give me SSDI. Having to just sit around and wait to hear about it is not exactly the best for someone already in poor health. Bleh.

    THAT BEING SAID, it is so awesome that you are making this move. Many congrats :)

  19. 19.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Satanicpanic:
    zactly.
    BSoSR +4

    Looking forward to a weekend off. Gotta dig up the garden, pay the bills, maybe do the taxes. Clean up the attic some more. Find my guitars. Maybe play one. Sleep.

  23. 23.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Satanicpanic: Well, I had an insanely busy week and then, while upgrading my iPhone OS, I stupidly managed to lose my contacts. Found most of them (owe my ex-wife’s obsessiveness about record keeping for that). So, anyway, I thought a drink or nine might be cool.

    And you? How are you doing?

  24. 24.

    Bago

    Skymall at least has a touch of whimsy, what with the ridiculous prices and useless Chinese plastic crap. I reserve my vitriol and loathing for the generic “Travel/Lifestyle” claptrap that sits along beside it. The endless pablum about being a yuppie on a lake is almost artful in it’s tepidity. Becoming blander would be an achievement. There should be an Oscar category for this plethora of platitudes, because Oscar lived in a freaking garbage can.

    HOOOOOOOOORJ!

    Ok, Bago +3 has finished the rant.

    Seriously, I hate that bland ass magazine with the fury of 1024 suns, or at least one during a good old supernova. White hot fury is limited at the irons, and this impetus goes to 27.

  25. 25.

    Satanicpanic

    @Omnes Omnibus: Feelin good! Injured my arm a about a week ago but still managed to make band practice for the first time in about a month (the older you get, the tougher it gets to get everyone in the same room). A bit gimpy but felt great

  29. 29.

    Satanicpanic

    @Bago: I can’t muster that kind of hate for the in flight mag. Flying is a miracle, really. Kind of scary, sometimes, but it’s pretty damn cool, when you think of it.

  30. 30.

    Bago

    Well the 27 supernova thing was relating to the genesis of matter higher than an atomic number higher than 26, iron, at which most stars collapse, being unable to use the energy released from the fusion reaction at the heart of the to to counteract the gravitational field generated by the mass of the the star. In stars of sufficient mass, the structural collapse of the reaction leads to insane pressures, which enable the fusion of heavier elements.

    Shorter: Stars going boom is why we have uranium.

    Tldr; I should be hanging out with chicks on Friday night rather typing out drunken astromechanics on my iPad.

  32. 32.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Satanicpanic:
    __
    These days, mostly Nationals. I’ve got a NatReso O-14 and a Tricone Baritone.
    __
    In earlier days, some electric slide. I have a beat-to-shit ’68 Gibson SG that plays like butter, whenever it wants to stay in tune. However, being an SG, that’s not so often, is it? There’s a reason the 60’s psychedelic bands sounded the eay they did.

  33. 33.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Bago: __
    True dat. But think of it this way. If Niels Bohr and Einstein had hung out with chicks on Friday night, where would we be now?

  40. 40.

    the fugitive uterus

    nobody knows what to do anymore without their iPads – sorry, old fart here, but no one looks at each other anymore, and that’s sad, especially as much as i enjoy people-watching

    you whippersnappers with your techno-thingies and electronic doo-hickies, you’re missing a lot

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