Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Trump should be leading, not lying.

đŸŽ¶ Those boots were made for mockin’ đŸŽ”

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Giving in to doom is how we fail to fight for ourselves & one another.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

Republicans in disarray!

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

How stupid are these people?

I really should read my own blog.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

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88Comments

  5. 5.

    JGabriel

    Wait, I thought we celebrated fools on the first Tuesday of November? What’s with this April fools shit?

    .

  8. 8.

    Pen

    Ah yes, April 1st: The day nearly every site I frequent for news becomes worthless because they try to one-up The Onion. I’ll just go back to playing Mass Effect 3 until tomorrow.

  11. 11.

    phantomist

    NBC’s “Meet the Press”

    Panel: Joe Scarborough moderates with Tom Friedman, David Brooks, Jon Meacham, Fmr. Rep. Harold Ford (D-TN) and Mika Brzezinski.

  19. 19.

    gnomedad

    A new study has shown that increasing numbers of cats are becoming traumatised by the standby lights left glowing on all our various machines and gadgets.

  20. 20.

    BGK

    Canadian airline WestJet inroduces child-free cabins.

    Also too, I found that link on a travel-related board infested by parents of special snowflakes (apparently being irony-free is a prerequisite), the mouth-foaming of which is throwing spittle through the internets.

  21. 21.

    mai naem

    I kinda like the multi cursor concept. I know this sounds mean but Carolyn Maloney looks like she belongs on the Bad Plastic Surgery blog.

  22. 22.

    Jamey

    Nice cameo by LL Cool-J in the GMail Tap piece.

    #whitepeopledrivelikethis/whileblackpeopledrivelikeTHIS

  23. 23.

    Warren Terra

    @phantomist:

    NBC’s “Meet the Press”
    Panel: Joe Scarborough moderates with Tom Friedman, David Brooks, Jon Meacham, Fmr. Rep. Harold Ford (D-TN) and Mika Brzezinski.

    That really ought to be a grim joke – it’s the sort of panel Atrios would satirically concoct – but sadly it’s probably intended to be Deeply Thoughtful – and after all, it spans the complete ideological spectrum, all the way from Aardvark to Abasement, smug Village-friendly endorsers of Austerity and screwing the poor from what these people think is a vareity of backgrounds and positions.

  24. 24.

    schrodinger's cat

    I heard that Tunch has been on the Catkins diet and has lost weight. Slim Tunch photos plz.

    *Catkins diet: He can only eat what he catches in the backyard. Mice, birds, any other small critters native to WV.

  26. 26.

    dmsilev

    @phantomist:

    NBC’s “Meet the Press”
    Panel: Joe Scarborough moderates with Tom Friedman, David Brooks, Jon Meacham, Fmr. Rep. Harold Ford (D-TN) and Mika Brzezinski.

    If there is a God, there will either be a well-targetted meteor strike or a well-targetted fissure opening up in the ground.

  27. 27.

    phantomist

    @amk:

    I don’t think so. I believe ‘the panel’ is a separate part of the show. Haven’t watched since 08′.

  29. 29.

    belle

    try http://xkcd.com/ in different browsers, and adjust the window, for a different comic. every location (state, anyhow) has a different comic. there are many, many comics today at xkcd.

  31. 31.

    Warren Terra

    @belle:
    I like XKCD, but not enough to go rummaging around for different browsers and IP proxies to view the different comics.

  34. 34.

    WaterGirl

    @JGabriel: You’re just bitter because you haven’t been discovered (yet) after your brilliant Dog on Car, Man on Dog naming scheme. :-)

  37. 37.

    Warren Terra

    Oh, and speaking of April Fools, this tale of a district-level Republican convention in Washington by Paul Constant of The Stranger sadly isn’t one:

    The best moment of today’s caucus happened early on, when the man in charge of the proceedings tried to fire up the young Ron Paul fans in attendance by starting a chant. He shouted “Gimme a C!” “C!” the audience happily replied. “Gimme an O!” They shouted back “O!” “Gimme an N!” “N!” “Gimme an S!” There were some nervous laughs in the audience, as everyone started wondering if they were going to have to chant all the letters in the word ‘conservatism,’ but they still replied “S!” “Gimme a T!” Okay, it occurred to just about everybody, the word was going to be ‘Constitution,’ which is way too long a word to expect an audience to shout-spell back to you, but whatever. A few people stopped responding, but others were game: “T!” “Gimme an I!” “I!” “Gimme a T!” “T!” And then he said, “Gimme an I!” The audience broke out laughing, and people shouted back to him, “U!” He realized he had misspelled the word, paused for a moment, gave up, and then shouted, “Whatever! What does that spell?” “Constitution!”

    If I read the rest of the piece correctly, Mr. Constant has decided to stop playing this particular game and will not be a Santorum delegate to the county- or state-level Republican conventions.

  39. 39.

    Warren Terra

    @blackfrancis789:
    That one was very well done.
    I think that has the current list of Google pranks at: Chrome multitasking, set your own weather, Gmail Tap, Nascar, 8-bit Google Maps, Really Advanced Search, and The YouTube Collection.

  40. 40.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    @WaterGirl:

    You’re just bitter because you haven’t been discovered (yet) after your brilliant Dog on Car, Man on Dog naming scheme.

    __
    Sigh. So true. I mean, if someone can get rich just from posting about Romans vs Marines …

    Plus, I’ve got entirely new things to be bitter about, like not being the winner of the Mega Millions $640M jackpot, grumble, grumble.

    .

  44. 44.

    Mnemosyne

    Think Geek always comes up with some great “products” for April Fool’s.

    In 2009, one gag product was such a huge hit that they managed to wrangle permission from Lucasfilm to actually make it. Yes, in some ways they use their April Fool’s ideas to figure out what geeky shit their customers will actually buy.

  47. 47.

    Warren Terra

    @Mnemosyne:
    Think Geek or a similar outfit also did a April Fools one year selling cans of Unicorn Meat – and subsequently got a ridiculously stern Lawyer Letter from the Pork Marketing Board or some such about how they are not permitted to refer to White Meat other than chicken – that’s the sole prerogative of Big Pork.

  48. 48.

    Michael

    I have an igoogle homepage, with all sorts of gadgets about weather, news, sports, etc. And today its telling me that there are no games scheduled for the NBA, which would have made me pretty sad…I refreshed a few times trying to figure out what was wrong until I got the joke

  50. 50.

    Anya

    @lamh35: Call me a snob but I don’t like FLOTUS presenting entertainment awards and inviting trashy reality teevee shows to the White House. And I consider all reality teevee trash. They celebrate everything that’s wrong with humanity — greed, vanity and superficiality (and I speak as self professed shallow person who likes cloths, designer stuff, etc). And don’t get me started about calling something so contrived “reality,” not to mention the damage they do to good television. I love our FLOTUS, I think she’s warm, smart, beautiful and all kinds of other adjectives, so I am not saying this because I am one of those people who jump at any chance to criticize her.

  54. 54.

    RSA

    Pretty funny. A few thoughts (I work in the area of human-computer interaction, or HCI):

    On Chrome multi-mouse multitasking: There’s actually been a good deal of research on bimanual input–it goes back to one of the very first graphical user interfaces, Ivan Sutherland’s Sketchpad. And the idea of two or more people working with the same display has also been explored, in the area of single display groupware; systems of the 1990s really did have two people using two mice.

    On setting your own weather: In the undergrad HCI course I teach, I let students pick their own implementation projects, and I say that it can be okay to depend on plausible but not-yet-invented technology. A couple of years a team of students took this a bit too far when they proposed an interface to a weather control system. But we salvaged the idea by targeting the application at designers of narrative games who might be interested in stories where changes in weather can play a role in the plot.

    On Gmail tap: Some years ago my group wrote a paper about a new layout for a physical keyboard that essentially reduced the standard four QWERTY rows into a single row, to support multitap or the equivalent of T9 (predictive text) input. In our preliminary testing, the keyboard slowed typists down by about 50%, which is a lot, but the keyboard was about 25% of full size, which might be a worthwhile tradeoff. More recently a group at Toronto developed a similar approach for typing on the iPad, the 1line keyboard, which seems pretty promising. There’s been lots of work on text entry methods, even tests of how fast people might enter text with a mobile device with just three keys.

  55. 55.

    blackfrancis789

    Let me share what I have found so far today

    http://us.blizzard.com/en-us/games/blizzkidzz/

    Blizzard Entertainment is proud to announce a new line of videogames set to capture the imagination of a whole new generation of gamers. Designed for a young audience, Blizzard Kidzzℱ games strive to present children with not just the most epic, but also the most educational gaming experiences… ever.

    http://blog.o2.co.uk/home/2012/04/the-smartphone-revolution-goes-on-on.html

    SIR RICHARD BRANSON TO LAUNCH JOURNEYS TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH THROUGH VIRGIN VOLCANIC

    http://www.virginvolcanic.com/

    This one is great, they already tagged it as a suspected phishing site. (That’s the joke)

    http://www.nigeriagoogle.com/

    Apple patents the rectangle

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/04/01/apple_patent/

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/04/01/149718325/npr-source-tweets-will-shrink-to-133-characters?sc=fb&cc=fp

    The Pirate Bay is getting a whole lot more literal with the launch of a bona fide submarine to host its servers off-shore.

    http://crave.cnet.co.uk/software/pirate-bay-to-launch-own-submarine-to-host-servers-off-shore-50007495/

    Click-to-Teleport extensions allow potential customers to instantly teleport to your business location directly from a search ad.

    http://www.google.com/adwords/extensions/teleport.html

    I tried not to put in ones in this thread already.

  58. 58.

    dmsilev

    A Google-map oddity not April-Fools related. I found this unusual feature when looking for something this morning. Make sure you’re in satellite view.

    Apparently a plane flew underneath the Google-cam at just the right moment, and apparently said Google-cam does sequential channel imaging instead of all-at-once photography like most digital cameras.

  60. 60.

    BD of MN

    George Takei has a FB post today:

    “Friends, I’m thrilled to share this news with you today. As announced at Emerald City Comicon, where I’m appearing this weekend, Paramount Pictures has green-lit a new Star Trek Movie entitled “Excelsior” in which I will play the captain. This announcement is part of Paramount Studio’s 100th-year anniversary campaign. The studio has acknowledged the fan enthusiasm for this concept ever since I appeared in command of the vessel in “The Undiscovered Country.” J.J. Abrams will direct, with Robert Orci again writing the screenplay.

    My co-star in Allegiance, Paulo Montalban, has been cast opposite me to play the mercurial “Agha,” the grandson of Khan (played by Ricardo Montalban in the Second Star Trek Movie). Also featured are Gilbert Gottfried (playing a wily Ferengi First Officer) and Lisa Lampanelli (as a Bajoran security officer).

    More to come on this breaking story soon. Thanks again for the years of support, and I’ll see you on the Bridge of “Excelsior.”

    I did’t figure out the joke until he got to Lisa Lampanelli…

  61. 61.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    @Anya:

    Kim Kardashian is a giant intellectual.

    __
    Exactly. Kardashian is a philosopher of the highest order. I was particularly engaged by her existential treatise, If Not Now, I’ll Fire Your Ho Ass.

  62. 62.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    dmsilev:

    Apparently a plane flew underneath the Google-cam at just the right moment, and apparently said Google-cam does sequential channel imaging instead of all-at-once photography like most digital cameras.

    __
    Plus, if you wear the right glasses, it comes out in 3D and flies straight at you.

  65. 65.

    dr. bloor

    @A Farmer:

    Fed Up, Obama Gets Drunk, Makes Biden President For A Day

    Oh, great. This is going to be considered the gospel truth on the wingnut circuit by noon.

  66. 66.

    lamh35

    @Anya:
    She presented the Big Help Award to Taylor Swift for Taylor Swift’s charity work, particularly with her work with tornado victims and children.

    It’s the same award she won 2 years ago for her let’s move campaign.

    If that makes a difference to you, but I suspect not.

    ETA: @MikeJ: see above

  67. 67.

    amk

    This is for the wildy asshole who trolled the lowry thread y’day.

    Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Monday will take part in an Obama administration National Summit on Preventing Youth Violence–as Chicago police are grappling with the crime surge in the city.

    Among the participants: Attorney General Eric Holder, Acting Assistant Attorney General for the Office of Justice Programs Mary Lou Leary, White House Senior Advisor Valerie Jarrett, Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Shaun Donovan, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy Gil Kerlikowske.

  69. 69.

    Bruuuuce

    There’s a decent list (with what looks like all the Google jokes and a few more, but not xkcd) at http://www.hot-deals.org/

    My favorite from there is Apple drops ‘thermonuclear’ patent bombshell:

    The patent being asserted by Sewell and his crew is USPTO Patent #1,042,012, first granted to the American Mathematical Society in October 1912, subsequently renewed, then acquired by Apple at an unknown date.

    The first entry among the patent’s Claims describes “A quadrilateral having all four interior angles of 90°, opposite sides that are parallel, and congruent diagonals that bisect each other.”

    Yes, Apple is asserting a patent on the rectangle.

  75. 75.

    danimal

    @dr. bloor:

    Oh, great. This is going to be considered the gospel truth on the wingnut circuit by noon.

    FauxNews: BREAKING: FIRST FAMILY CHAOS! While First Lady tramps it up at Kid’s Choice Award, Obama goes on a Bender: Biden to be President O’Day.

  77. 77.

    Catsy

    My favorites are the web sites that aren’t wasting their time trying to figure out how to deceive their visitors with stupid bullshit, weak satire, fucked-up layouts and heavy-handed jokes for no good reason other than that that’s what’s expected today.

    Fuck, I hate April Fools like you can’t even imagine. I’m checking out of the innernets for the day.

  78. 78.

    quannlace

    Vintage pranks:

    In 1730, two persons were tried for witchcraft at Mt. Holly, NJ, for “making their Neighbours Sheep dance in an uncommon Manner, and with causing Hogs to speak, and sing Psalms,”

    Thing was, it never happened. It was a joke article written by Benjamin Franklin in the Pennsylvania Gazette. What a wag.

  80. 80.

    wrb

    Los Vegas

    Responding to the growing threat of global warming, the City of Las Vegas announced today that it will disassemble the past several decades of strip-centered development and suburban sprawl and return to what Mayor Carolyn Goodman called “a true desert condition.”
    __
    As part of her “Back to the Desert Initiative,” the mayor of the sun-baked Nevada city will oversee replacement of the Strip by a series of open-air souks with narrow passages covered by fabric, filtering the sunlight and making a more comfortable environment. “For the first time in 60 years, we won’t have to wear sunglasses every time we step outdoors,” the mayor said.
    __
    Materials recovered during disassembly of the casinos—and of thousands of bank-owned tract houses—will be reused in a comprehensive plan calling for each neighborhood to be organized around a mixed-use center. Each center will be walking distance of all the households in the neighborhood.
    __
    “We’re done with ‘gaming,’” Goodman said. “The future is going to require citizens who can think farther into the future than the next spin of the roulette wheel. To clear their heads, residents are going to have to spend some quality time in libraries, reading books. I just hope people still know that a ‘book’ is a lot different from a ‘bookie.’”
    __
    The mayor explained the thinking behind the initiative: “We got it wrong—the Mob, the casinos, the Strip, the subdivisions full of houses have to be air-conditioned night and day. We got everything wrong—from Wayne Newton to the cost of water and power.”
    __
    The City received a major grant from the Congress for New Urbanism to stock each neighborhood library with a collection of books on urban civilizations that have lasted more than 200 years.
    __
    “We’re going to have a city-wide debate,” she said. “People will make their case as to which vision they think holds up best in the long run—the one expressed by Learning from Las Vegas or the one summed up in Hegemann and Peets’ American Vitruvius.”
    __
    “The sad thing,” Goodman said, “is that we actually believed it when Learning from Las Vegas suggested that out way of life was just fine. We’re going to sue the publisher, MIT Press, to help us pay for the needed reconstruction. We’ve just witnessed what was probably the world’s most blinding flash in the pan, and it’s going to be costly to recover from it.”
    __
    Major lending for physical reorganization of the city will be provided by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Sources speaking on condition of anonymity said that in exchange for receiving long-term loans from the Salt Lake City-based church, the City will urge the State of Nevada to merge with neighboring Utah to form a new State of Deseret. The laws of the combined state will be considerably more stringent than Nevada’s current laws. The winking eye that is now Nevada’s official state symbol will be sold to the Cayman Islands.
    __
    “That’s pretty much the end of the brothel business, too,” Goodman acknowledged. “But we’ll still have our wedding chapels.”
    __
    “It’s amazing,” she said, “how the first day of April can cause you to see things in a whole new light. I just hope we don’t slip back to our ‘Wench, Waste, and Wither’ philosophy when this day is over.”

  86. 86.

    wrb

    WP won’t let me edit the above comment.

    Interesting is how the clever architects got this commission.

    London Mayor Boris Johnson has unveiled plans for a floating motorway to be constructed on the River Thames, intended to ease congestion in the city ahead of the London 2012 Olympic games this summer.
    __
    Due for completion in July, the design by London studio Dowling Jones and Stone will include an access junction at Tower Bridge and stretch from Wandsworth to Limehouse along the water.
    __
    The announcement comes exactly one year after Dowling Jones and Stone unveiled their design for a 12 metre-high bronze statue of Johnson overlooking the river

  87. 87.

    David Koch

    Palin is co-hosting “The Today Show” this Tuesday.

    This is actually true.

    I’m surprised Roger Ailes is allowing her to do this.

  88. 88.

    Jacquelyn Degelbeck

    Blue Line tires were a standard feature on some cars. Around 1990 I restored a ’66 Hemi Satellite w/ 4-speed. It had the original, never on the ground blue line in the trunk. They didn’t reproduce these then.The price I got for the one tire, $750 was enough to buy a full set of redlines. A Shelby Mustang restorer bought it.

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