That Gov. Nikki Haley (R- Appalachian Trail) says you don’t care about contraceptives or birth control. So you can scratch that off your list of concerns.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.
Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…
Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.
“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”
This chaos was totally avoidable.
Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.
Be a wild strawberry.
Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?
Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.
Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.
Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.
This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.
I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.
Come on, man.
How stupid are these people?
“woke” is the new caravan.
The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.
Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.
rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius
When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?
You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?
If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.
The willow is too close to the house.
Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.
rlrr
I’m glad that’s settled…
jibeaux
As the Onion’s Man on the Street interview about the Confederate flag went, many years ago.
“I’d be ashamed to be from South Carolina. Now what’s this about a flag?”
R-Jud
It’s so nice to have a Republican LADY telling me what to think for a change.
Schlemizel
I know I don’t want to talk about it – its none of my damn business unless the SO asks for my opinion
Villago Delenda Est
Too small for a republic, too large for an asylum.
eric
to these people, anecdote is data, but data is not data. way to keep reading those polls.
acallidryas
Hold on. Is this something new the Republicans have dreamed up in a fit of paranoia? That the HHS mandate is that we have to use contraception, not that employers have to provide it?
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
this is why i personally don’t take my eye of those baby-makers. you can’t trust em.
Mike in NC
What’s the latest scuttlebutt on Nikki’s pending tax fraud indictment?
lacp
Is she angling to be Willard’s date to the Tampa prom?
Comrade Javamanphil
@acallidryas: Yes. Comrade Obama will personally be instructing all citizens on what nights they must and must not use protect. It was on page Eleventybillion of the healthcare bill. Also, too, his teleprompter told him to.
Citizen_X
So, she has a dozen kids, right?
slag
That didn’t take long. Maybe “women don’t care about contraception” was not intended to be a factual statement.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Birth control is hitting your target.
/Charlotte Heston
Villago Delenda Est
@eric:
Well, you know, they “have the math”, as they did in 2006.
TooManyJens
Fuck you, Nikki Haley. Just fuck you. You’d better fucking believe we care about contraception when your party is trying to take it away.
(Because I love you people, I didn’t leave that in the original all caps. OMFG I hate the whole fucking world today.)
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ: OK, except you, because that’s hilarious.
SteveinSC
Nikki knowa a lot about contraceptives, since, as the old saying goes, “If she’d have as many dicks stuck out of her as she’s had stuck in her, she’d look like a porcupine.”
JCT
@slag: These assholes will give you a good case of whiplash. Apparently the audience reaction from the first comment was pretty amusing. Not the response that she was looking for.
And @Mike in NC — that’s right, what IS up with that…
SuzieC
Poor Nikki ccan’t even stay on message for 2 sentences. That gives her Palin-like star quality.
Martin
To summarize:
1) Poll shows Obama with a 30 point lead with women.
2) GOP strategists scream “OH FUCK OH FUCK! WE NEED TO FIX THIS!”
3) Suggestion from the back of the room “We need a woman to go out and defuse this. Who do we have?”
4) Strategist 1: “Haley. She’s the only chick that would do it. How long to get her booked on a daytime show?”
5) Strategist 2: “48 hours for The View. I’ll call Hasselbeck.”
6) Haley, 48 hours later: “Women don’t care about contraception. They care much more about protecting job creators and religious freedom and making sure that white men don’t have to back down against uppity black teens.”
7) Strategists: “Success!”
72 hours. Not bad.
beltane
The Republican party simply does not understand the degree to which women are grateful for the availability of modern contraceptive methods. They may as well declare war on electricity and indoor plumbing while they’re at it.
Elizabelle
Ed Kilgore (Washington Monthly) watched The View, too. At least he got paid for it.
Nikki Haley Snows “The View”
Martin
@acallidryas:
What’s funny is the head of Planned Parenthood has been saying this very thing, word for word, for years.
Calouste
@Citizen_X: According to teh wiki, she had 2 kids in the 15 years since she got married at the age of 24.
cmorenc
Yet another unforced error on the part of a prominent GOP figure. It’s only early April, and already in many key races, the Dems don’t have to work writing any negative campaign ads against their GOP opponents. All they have to do is show video clips of their opponents speaking, and they don’t even have to edit anything out of context.
dmsilev
@beltane:
I’m pretty sure that’s on tap for this coming July.
Tonal Crow
@eric:
To those people, anything that advances their dominion is good and true, and anything that undermines it is bad and false. I think the proper term for their political philosophy is “Nihilistic Machiavellianism”.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@TooManyJens:
Thanks, I’m glad somebody appreciates a touch of humor in the midst of an appalling situation. Otherwise I’d feel like I was making fart jokes during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Egg Berry
@lacp:
I swear I first read that as the Tampon Prom.
David Koch
Gov Haley said that while holding an aspirin between the knees.
kc
I’m from SC. The local paper had a story today about Haley’s busy schedule of book-promoting and how it doesn’t leave her much time for governing. Which is probably for the best.
jl
@dmsilev: Thanks for the heads up, I will watch for it.
Palin has already told us those who don’t have adequate health insurance don’t care about health, so we should let them die.
I will wait for Boehner and McConnell and Ryan to inform the older ‘inadequate’ males that they do not care about Bo3HnEr pllzz.
TooManyJens
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ: If nothing else, humor interrupts the Rage Escalation. Too much rage isn’t good for anybody.
Bubblegum Tate
@Martin:
WIN
beltane
@Calouste: Why does Nikki Haley refuse to put out for her husband the way God intended?
Or…
Why does Nikki Haley’s husband refuse to engage in yearly acts of copulation as a Christian husband should?
Satanicpanic
Oh you don’t really care is about the worst thing to say to someone who actually does care.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Egg Berry: So did I. Does Tampa need a sponsor?
greenergood
I can’t be sarcastic – I’m just so angry at this woman. She has obviously NEVER realised the terror of a late period when you have no money (for either termination or raising a child). It just stalks you – it’s awful.
If, like me, you decided you weren’t going to have kids, then you’ve got 30 years of waiting every month to find out if you’re pregnant – yeah, I didn’t give a sh*t about contraception – HAH!
OTOH, maybe she didn’t care about contraception because no (fertile) man would go to bed with her.
I just hate this.
Martin
@Satanicpanic: Yeah, but they don’t really think its the worst thing to say.
Face
Holy fucking strawman….
Because the gov’t is soooo mandating the use of birth control. Or something.
jibeaux
@Martin: Exactly. Which is why I think what she meant is:
stickler
@Martin: No, Martin, not quite. Note well how Haley framed her response, then cast your memory back to that Daily Show skit from 2008, when Samantha Bee tried to get Republican delegates to use the word “choice.” Note carefully how Haley did NOT use the word “choice,” for reasons that should be quite obvious to anyone paying attention for the last ten years or so. She meant “choice,” but she instead constructed (cleverly, if transparently) a longer rambling sentence that allowed her not to use a word which the right wing has recoiled from.
slag
@JCT: What’s worse is that after the “Women don’t care about contraception” line she immediately says, “They care about jobs and the economy and raising their families and all of those things.” As if access to contraception plays no part in any of those other issues. I mean, where do you start with that? How stupid can a person be?
jibeaux
@slag: It’s kind of a substitute, I think for “how much time they spend thinking about it.” I don’t spend nearly as much time thinking about it as I do jobs and money and my family. Which is because I have it at an affordable cost and without having to discuss it with my boss! It’s not a reflection at all on how much I CARE about it.
DuckFisqus
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ:
Heh. That comment would fit right in at Eschaton.
Linda Featheringill
@SteveinSC:
Imagine that: A politician with a history of several sexual partners. Never heard of such a thing.
Tonal Crow
Is the spam filter punting the s-word into moderation again?
ruemara
My lack of health care nearly killed me because I did not have access to proper birth control screening. She can go fuck herself sideways with a nuclear warhead.
smith
Someone should ask Nikki Haley if she used any form of contraceptives when she was cheating on her husband with not one, but two men. I mean, it would be irresponsible not to ask, right?
merrinc
@TooManyJens:
You fucking betcha. The spouse and I were watching tv last night and saw coverage of women protesting somewhere (GA statehouse, maybe?) and I pointed out how many women were my age (53) or older. If I had to guess why, I’d say it’s because we never thought our daughters and granddaughters would be dealing with this issue because when we came of age, it was a done deal. And the mere thought of my daughter not having the same basic reproductive rights as I’ve enjoyed absolutely enrages me.
slag
@jibeaux: Clearly, they’re thinking about it though. And trying to find ways to undermine it. So, it’s quite right that the rest of us are thinking about it too. For our own protection. Practice safe politics!
Donut
@Comrade Javamanphil:
Dang. American Freedom Lovers like Rick Santorum have been on to something there, all along. Until you pointed it out, I never knew the Teleprompter was actually a source of librul soshulistic Islam-a-bama-blackness-fascism. Thanks for clearing that up.
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)
boy am I glad my girlfriend doesn’t have that to worry about anymore. Thanks for taking a load off her mind Haley!
SiubhanDuinne
@Egg Berry:
When I lived there in the late ’60s/early ’70s, the local baseball team was named the Tampa Tarpons. I’ll give you three guesses (first two don’t count) what they were generally called.
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)
@beltane: Don’t give them any ideas.
They’ve already pretty much come out against highways (see their transportation bill proposal) and trains. All we gots left is unmechanized trasportation and the rich will fly everywhere in their helicopters.
Given that they’re pretty much trying to push the poor in this country back into mid 19th century living conditions, who’s to say they aren’t against indoor plumbing and electricity for the masses?
TaMara (BHF)
Well I know who I want to mandate use birth-control.
Seriously, though, it’s hard to even snark at all of this stupidity, especially when it’s directed at my gender…now by my gender.
Amir Khalid
@Donut:
You know what other famous liberal Democrat uses a TelePrompter?
Nils Lofgren responds.
WaterGirl
@Egg Berry: I did, too. You are not alone.
Frankensteinbeck
@merrinc:
It IS a done deal, and I am convinced it will be one of the biggest anchors around the GOP’s necks this November. Banning contraception has been in the fundie wish list since I was a wee ragamuffin at the beginning of the Reagan Era. Even then, the party at large refused to touch it, because anyone who did got the ‘Are you a fucking dinosaur?!’ label. They want the 50s back so bad, they licked the third rail and are chugging the whole bottle of political poison to chase it down.
Ben Cisco
@Mike in NC: Saw this pop up last week:
danielx
Well! I’m certain that all of my female relations and friends will be greatly relieved to have that removed from their list of concerns and about time, I say.
But Seriously…Nikki, I hope you get eaten by South Carolina red ants.
@beltane:
Shhh. Don’t give them ideas, they might start income testing for those services. As in you have to have a certain income to get them. Much like reproductive health services – illegal but safe abortions for daughters of the one percent who “slip up a little” and “don’t want to ruin their futures”, back alley angelmakers for everyone else.
quannlace
Ooh. I guess we’ve suddenly been magically installed with an On/Off fertility switch? Who knew?
slag
@Amir Khalid: Once again, I am reminded of the description of the political media as theatre critics. Bad ones.
Bokonon
This is Governor Haley’s attempt at a Jedi mind trick.
Haley isn’t describing what women really think. She is TELLING them what they ought to think, as a matter of politics.
Now, get on board! Turn off your self-interest, and get busy fighting the liberals!
the fugitive uterus
Nikki Haley does not have children. apparently, contraception matters to her. i guess when she says “women” she means every other woman but her.
Comrade Javamanphil
@Donut: Always happy to do my part. Or maybe I just want you to think that, COMRADE! *nudge nudge wink wink*
Pauline
@greenergood: So very well said, greenergood.
DougW
Nikki is just ugly enough politically, that she doesn’t have to worry about birth control. Who’d be willing to impregnate her? Or even make the attempt?…
forked tongue
Uh, hold on there, Nikks. Are you saying you didn’t care about contraception when you had it off with this guy???