Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Let there be snark.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

The revolution will be supervised.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

The willow is too close to the house.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

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Reader Interactions

128Comments

  4. 4.

    redshirt

    And? Or was this an example of stating the obvious?

    And so begins the War on Teachers – or has that already kicked off?

  5. 5.

    Satanicpanic

    I overheard some guy on the bus complaining about Obama. Please frontpage my story.

  6. 6.

    Strandedvandal

    The truth, she hurts no? Your tears of impotent rage are most delicious Tucker Carlson.

  7. 7.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    Next up: a Federal Appelate Court will demand that Obama construct a three dimensional diorama made out of shoeboxes, popsicle sticks, plaster-of-Paris, old newspapers, and dollhouse furniture peopled by Schoolteacher Barbie and Hedge Fund Trader Ken, demonstrating that teachers are totally wrong to call the Republicans stoopidheads. Due by next Monday or he is sooooo going to have to go to the Principle’s Office for a timeout.

  10. 10.

    Poopyman

    “Man Yells at Clouds, Calls them Republicans”.

    But now I’m all enraged that Tucker found that other $17T surprise in Obamacare that we’d been keeping from him. Who told him?

  11. 11.

    Zifnab

    Fuck teachers, amirite?

    I had a math teacher in 8th grade who was pregnant and a card carrying / weapon touting member of the NRA and who used to joke she could get away with murder for 9 month. Little did I know the indoctrination that was inflicted upon me.

  13. 13.

    Roger Moore

    @redshirt:

    And so begins the War on Teachers – or has that already kicked off?

    You mean separate from the wars on teachers’ unions, teachers’ pay, and science teachers?

  14. 14.

    Jeff Spender

    Other headlines of interest to readers of that article:

    Water is wet, says befuddled scientist
    Fire burns, reports firefighter

    I just…for a party that’s all about manliness or whatever (you know, with all of the guns and everything) they sure do whine and bitch a lot.

    How can anyone take them seriously? My high school History teacher supported George W. Should I alert the media about that? BIAS! SLANDER!

    C’mon. This is just sad.

  15. 15.

    David Koch

    Fucking Tigers just beat my Red Sox in the bottom of the 9th — you don’t see me crying.

  16. 16.

    Argive

    Perhaps Tucker will go find that teacher and assault her for offending his sensibilities. He seems to like talking about assaulting people who bother him. Being a professional asshole must be a pretty nice gig.

  21. 21.

    Cris (without an H)

    From the story:

    Martin’s statements were “brainwashing” students, according to one mother, who said she is a Republican and asked not to be named to protect her daughter from retaliation.
    __
    “I felt like the teacher was brainwashing naive, young children to believe people like me, my family and, to a certain extent, my daughter, were stupid,” she told TheDC via email.

    Got that, everybody? Saying something once = brainwashing.

    “My reactions were shocked. I think her political views should not be shared with 11 and 12 year olds,” she said. “It was hard for me to understand. I was still in so much shock.”

    Maybe so, but let me tell you about how many of my teachers, from sixth grade on, felt free to openly express their anti-Communist views — and not just in casual hallway conversations, but in front of the whole class.

    Inappropriate? Maybe. Double standard? Absolutely.

  24. 24.

    Chyron HR

    #THE VETTING (of all American citizens) roots out another treasonous malcontent! Off to Room 101 with her! Huzzah!

  30. 30.

    Cris (without an H)

    Daily Caller has a pretty cool script on their page: when you copy text from a story, it automatically adds the URL of the story to the end of your clipboard. That’s actually pretty clever. (I’m sure they didn’t invent it.)

  32. 32.

    Poopyman

    Oh, and having been an election judge on Tuesday I can provide plenty of corroborating evidence to the teacher’s assertion.

  33. 33.

    DougJ, Head of Infidelity

    I like the “$17 trillion” in Obamacare too. Not quite as much as the government’s bail-out liability in Taibbi-land, but close.

  36. 36.

    samara morgan

    the rightosphere is very quiet about the Republican Brain.
    official release date is april 10…that is when the shit will hit the fan.
    ;)
    i have only seen one mention of it at Sully’s so far.
    prepare for a tsunami of ressentiment.

  38. 38.

    Poopyman

    @gbear: Not just that, but “My reactions were shocked”. Clearly, tasers were unleashed. Or unsheathed, or something.

  40. 40.

    burnspbesq

    @David Koch:

    Fucking Tigers just beat my Red Sox in the bottom of the 9th—you don’t see me crying.

    Only because Cole refuses to enable video comments.

  42. 42.

    MattF

    Just think of the article as a sort of receipt for services rendered. Makes perfect sense.

  46. 46.

    pragmatism

    let’s race to the bottom.
    all she had to do was put a cavuto mark at the end.
    Republicans are stupid?
    They don’t care about anyone but the wealthy and businesses?

  47. 47.

    scav

    Did poor old K. McMakin demand hazard pay for venturing into the mentally dangerous no-mans-land of an elementary school’s teachers’ lounge? She might have caught a fatal dose of elitism (leading inevitably to too much Harvard attendance) leaving aside the possible trauma of unhidden disdain of 5-grade teachers.

  49. 49.

    Tonal Crow

    As C.S. Lewis once quoted Thomas More:

    The devil…the prowde spirite…cannot endure to be mocked.

    You made this shit sandwich, Republicans, now eat it and like it. Also, too, it’s your orc-work that’s responsible for facts having a liberal bias.

  50. 50.

    Cluttered Mind

    I wonder how many of the people who think what this teacher said was inappropriate are perfectly okay with teachers confronting gay students and reciting the bible at them and telling them they’re going to hell if they don’t change.

  53. 53.

    ruemara

    Ok, I’m trying to pass as a real true Republican for one of their media outlets (Not THAT One). Everything is a slight, um, Democrats-no, DIMMOCRATS-are the real bigots and my heros are… David Brooks and Tom Friedman? What websites should I say are my political influences?

  55. 55.

    Bulworth

    I actually like the Obamacare screamline: 17 Trillion!!

    Do you know how much 17 cadrillionTrillion dollars is!? Why, if you stacked it all up it would reach the moon. Or something.

  56. 56.

    Clime Acts

    I love how the moronic Daily Trawler reporter makes NO attempt to find out what actually, you know, happened; just quotes the aggrieved daughter who was almost catatonic with “shock,” and the repug mother.

    Actually, it’s all kind of sadly hilarious, but here we are talking about it and Fucker Carlson got extra hits today so he’s happy. bleh

  57. 57.

    Tonal Crow

    @ruemara:

    Ok, I’m trying to pass as a real true Republican for one of their media outlets (Not THAT One). Everything is a slight, um, Democrats-no, DIMMOCRATS-are the real bigots and my heros are… David Brooks and Tom Friedman? What websites should I say are my political influences?

    humanevents.com . And redstate.com . And don’t forget Rush’s site. Also drop Friedman; he’s off the ranch on that fraud of frauds, global warming. Bobo is good, but you need more assertive GOPholes like Rush and Hannity.

  60. 60.

    James Hare

    You don’t even have to read the full first page of comments to reach the first N-CLANG.

  63. 63.

    scav

    ah, but imagine the ground floor chants at the upcoming repub convention:

    No More Classrooms!
    No More Books!
    No More Teachers’ Dirty Looks!!
    No More Classrooms!
    . . .

  65. 65.

    freelancer

    Wow, 13 comments to Ni-Clang! by some Son of Confederate Veterans named “Nobummer” Good Christ.

  68. 68.

    David Koch

    @DougJ, Head of Infidelity:

    I like the “$17 trillion” in Obamacare too. Not quite as much as the government’s bail-out liability in Taibbi-land, but close.

    How shrill of you. How dare you criticize Matt Taibbi, he’s only truth teller left.

  70. 70.

    scav

    @Tonal Crow: I’m trying to remember all the words to this one for later changes

    Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
    we have tortured all the teachers,
    we have broken every rule.

    and then I forget what exactly they did to the principle and ???

    Our troops go marching on!
    Glory Glory Hallelujah,
    Teacher hit me with a ruler
    Stood behind the door with a [seem to be local variations in weaponry]
    Teacher don’t teach no more.

    ETA: oh, and there was another with a shark.

  72. 72.

    The Moar You Know

    Perhaps Tucker will go find that teacher and assault her for offending his sensibilities. He seems to like talking about assaulting people who bother him.

    @Argive: Every time I read that I break down in tears.

    Of laughter.

    Tucker went to my best friend’s private high school. Met him at quite a few parties. Really awkward but also an asshole. Just wanted to hang with the guys. His innate terror of women made me think he was gay at first until I realized he didn’t have the stones to go down that path.

    The idea of that soft-handed pansy motherfucker assaulting anybody is ludicrous beyond imagining. A six year old girl could beat him into a coma with a paper napkin.

  73. 73.

    samara morgan

    i can’t comment there or id tell drum he’s full bullshytt.
    heres my flashfisk.

    The deeper religiosity of conservatives is probably due in part to some innate cognitive trait. But that’s a separate thing. Skepticism of evolution is just a subset of that cognitive trait, combined with a healthy dose of path dependence within American Protestantism, not the result of some kind of generalized anti-science trait.

    the generalized anti-science trait Mooney analyzes in his book is between group difference in distribution of grey matter.
    thus deeper religiosity and evolution ‘skepticism’ , global warming denial, indeed, denial of FACT and EMIPIRICAL DATA are all subsets of anti-empiricism and anti-enlightenment values.
    96% of scientists are NOT republicans kevin.
    sukk on that.

  74. 74.

    Comrade Dread

    @Roger Moore:

    You mean separate from the wars on teachers’ unions, teachers’ pay, and science teacher

    Well, unions are obvious. Any organization that empowers the workers must be destroyed.

    Same with the pay, can’t have a class of people living the middle class lifestyle and enjoying pensions. That’ll only remind the rest of the middle class how badly we’ve screwed them over the last 30 years.

    And science? Well, hell, we ain’t got to worry ’bout the Reds no more and most of that there science crap ain’t about making money, but about trying to do things that’ll cut into profit margins.

    Only science you all need to know is how to use your computers to pay your bills on time without complaining.

  75. 75.

    Satanicpanic

    @freelancer: The very first comment is a right wing chain letter, which all the dummies are heh, indeeding until someone comes along and posts a link to Snopes.

  76. 76.

    freelancer

    @japa21:

    It’s nut-picking, but it’s priceless:

    Many Colleges just want to be Elite….not Usefull….[sic]

  78. 78.

    Donald G

    @Cris (without an H):

    Maybe so, but let me tell you about how many of my teachers, from sixth grade on, felt free to openly express their anti-Communist views—and not just in casual hallway conversations, but in front of the whole class.

    Oh, I believe you.

    My fifth grade teacher had us open class with a daily reading of Bible verses … in PUBLIC school… in 1976… thirteen years after the Supreme Court had supposedly “kicked God out of the schools”. (The sole Jewish girl was allowed to read something from the Psalms).

    My sixth grade teacher was always going on about how she was a “good, Christian woman”, and – as a good, Christian woman, she couldn’t countenance this or that.

    My eleventh grade Algebra/Trig teacher (who looked like a five foot tall Dustin Hoffman) went on a tear about Nostradamus and prophecy and how certain rock bands were luring people into Satanism.

    I and my children have experienced a lot more attempted right-wing indoctrination in schools than left-wing, I can tell you.

  80. 80.

    James Gary

    @David Koch: How shrill of you. How dare you criticize Matt Taibbi, he’s only truth teller left.

    Taibbi considers the notional value of all derivatives that are now either 1) explicitly backstopped by the Fed or 2) included in the so-called “extend and pretend” rules of accounting for TBTF banks implemented after the bailout to be part of the bailout, and that’s where he gets his big numbers.

    You can argue over whether such an inclusion is valid or not (it’s highly unlikely that all those derivatives will prove to be ultimately worthless) but if you read Taibbi’s columns and blogposts, he’s never attempted to hide his math.

  81. 81.

    feebog

    The Moar You Know:

    The idea of that soft-handed pansy motherfucker assaulting anybody is ludicrous beyond imagining. A six year old girl could beat him into a coma with a paper napkin.

    But, as he proved so ably on Dancing with the Stars, he is a great chair dancer.

  82. 82.

    Montysano

    The aggrieved mother had two possible strategies: A) Explain to the child that Republicans are NOT stupid, and that their policies result in bubblegum and Skittles for po’ folks. Or, B) Attack the teacher.

    The mother’s choice was entirely predictable.

  83. 83.

    Kristin

    Republicans sure do lack confidence in their political philosophy. It always amazes me how they think that even one tiny utterance that isn’t 100% Rush-approved wingnut will immediately turn their children away from conservatism.

    Or maybe they’re just so self-centered and immature that they don’t think anyone should be allowed to believe anything other than their bullshit.

  84. 84.

    RD

    @samara morgan:

    The deeper religiosity of conservatives is

    …mostly surface dancing for the rubes.

    Half of them will admit that in quiet rooms. The other half are conservative bloggers.

  87. 87.

    redshirt

    @Ruckus: Yes! There’s an actual scientificy theory on this – dumb people are too dumb to realize their flaws, and when especially they’re told their ignorance is something to be proud of, well, let your Dumb Flag Fly!

    Smarter people are more aware of their flaws, and more likely to be self-critical or express doubt.

    It’s nuancy goodness!

  90. 90.

    PaulW

    A Virginia teacher only “thinks” Republicans are stupid?

    You’d think that after 12 years of evidence, teachers can verify in their classrooms that Republicans are in fact stupid.

  91. 91.

    eemom

    I guess I’m theoretically conflicted here because I live in Fairfax County and if some republican teacher had said something analogous in my kid’s class I’d be having a shitfit.

    OTOH, this teacher WAS just stating facts.

    Also, I can recall when I was in 5th grade in 1972 and my teacher overtly hated Nixon and talked all the time about how bad he was. My parents were Nixon voters then and it didn’t bother me at all.

    Whatever. I guess the bottom line is I see no reason to be “fair” to these fucktards when they’re never FAIR to anyone else.

  92. 92.

    J. Michael Neal

    @James Gary:

    You can argue over whether such an inclusion is valid or not (it’s highly unlikely that all those derivatives will prove to be ultimately worthless) . . .

    You can’t argue it if you actually know what you’re talking about. The overwhelming percentage of that $24 trillion in notional value is in interest rate swaps. The reason you can’t include them isn’t just because interest rate swaps are not very volatile and unlikely to go to zero; it’s because the notional value of an interest rate swap has nothing whatsoever to do with the amount of money that’s at risk. Nothing.

    The notional value of an interest rate swap is the theoretical amount of principal that the swap is based off of. Basically, the swap needs to hedge (or speculate) based upon a particular interest rate. Then, as floating interest rates (like LIBOR) move up or down, one party pays the other the difference in interest at the fixed rate and the new floating rate. (They can get more complicated if the floating and fixed rates don’t start at the same value, but they work the same way.) In order to do that, you need to have a notional amount of principle that would generate the desired amount of interest at the starting rate.

    That notional amount of principal doesn’t exist. No one will ever owe it to anyone else, not because it’s unlikely, but because it’s impossible. They just don’t work that way.

    Yes, Matt Taibbi showed his math and what it demonstrated is that he has no fucking clue what he is talking about.

  93. 93.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    Tucker’s right to get furious about the “Republicans are stupid” claim.

    It totally ignores the influence of Evil!

  95. 95.

    Ruckus

    @redshirt:
    We may be using different terms. No one stated they were dumb, as in the classical usage, of not having the intelligence to learn. We were discussing their desire to remain uninformed, to not learn from experience and observation.

  96. 96.

    les

    @Kristin:

    Republicans sure do lack confidence in their political philosophy. It always amazes me how they think that even one tiny utterance that isn’t 100% Rush-approved wingnut will immediately turn their children away from conservatism.

    Well, it’s the same way they treat their religion–they absolutely know the one and only right story of the world and its all powerful sky daddy, but any mention of any conflicting idea in school and all of their kids will go out and gay marry and have abortions. It’s fuckin’ pathetic.

  97. 97.

    Jennifer

    I won’t give the Daily Callgirl a click, so I can only imagine that the teacher taught the students a variation on a common schoolyard taunt:

    Democrats go to college to get more knowledge!
    Republicans go to Jupiter to get more stupider!

    How oh how will they ever recover from this greivous injury?

  98. 98.

    Argive

    Tucker went to my best friend’s private high school. Met him at quite a few parties. Really awkward but also an asshole. Just wanted to hang with the guys. His innate terror of women made me think he was gay at first until I realized he didn’t have the stones to go down that path.

    The idea of that soft-handed pansy motherfucker assaulting anybody is ludicrous beyond imagining. A six year old girl could beat him into a coma with a paper napkin.

    None of that surprises me in the least. Nor would it surprise me to find out that he made up the men’s room incident out of whole cloth.

  102. 102.

    James Gary

    @J. Michael Neal:

    You can’t argue it if you actually know what you’re talking about. The overwhelming percentage of that $24 trillion in notional value is in interest rate swaps.

    Thanks…I confess I don’t understand interest-rate swaps enough to offer any meaningful judgement on what you’re writing, but you seem to have some actual insight into the situation beyond the usual knee-jerk “blah blah blah Taibbi’s so hyperbolic” reaction.

    Have you tried e-mailing Taibbi and getting his reaction to what you posted above? The guy seems reasonably willing to engage with his critics. Might be worth a try.

  103. 103.

    J. Michael Neal

    @James Gary: Taibbi’s entire career consists of exactly that same kind of bullshit, since back when he was drinking all the vodka in Moscow. It’s not an accident that continually gets things wrong and there’s no point in discussing it with him, because he perpetually demonstrates that he doesn’t care enough about actual substance to learn about it. Just make sure that, whenever he discusses *anything* technical and particularly anything with numbers, that he is pig ignorant of the subject.

  106. 106.

    ItAintEazy

    @J. Michael Neal:

    That notional amount of principal doesn’t exist. No one will ever owe it to anyone else, not because it’s unlikely, but because it’s impossible. They just don’t work that way.

    And one of the reasons why we’re in this fucking mess today, so quit defending the banksters.

  108. 108.

    James Gary

    @J. Michael Neal:

    It’s not an accident that continually gets things wrong and there’s no point in discussing it with him, because he perpetually demonstrates that he doesn’t care enough about actual substance to learn about it. Just make sure that, whenever he discusses anything technical and particularly anything with numbers, that he is pig ignorant of the subject.

    As the kids say these days, whatevs. I wouldn’t have bothered engaging with you had I known you were going to respond with a boilerplate vitriolic anti-Taibbi rant.

    I read the last couple months of entries on your blog, and I’m sorry to hear things are so tough for you these days. Hang in there and try not to take your pain out on other people.

  110. 110.

    samara morgan

    @Mark S.:

    Shorter Kevin Drum: Liberals objecting to the Bell Curve is just like conservatives objecting to evolution. Both sides do it!

    oh there will be a plethora of juicers that get right into that failboat with Kevin.
    maybe even Cole and Levenson.
    DougJ fo’ sho’.
    ;)

  116. 116.

    El Cid

    Hey, I think Republicans are stupid. A bunch of rotten, super-villainesque conniving ultra-greedy motherfuckers and racists, but stupid too.

  121. 121.

    samara morgan

    @THE: i sent it to richard dawkins.
    we shall see if he posts it, or even talks about it.
    no mention of The Republican Brain at dawkins.net so far.
    ;)

  122. 122.

    THE

    @samara morgan:
    OK. If he publishes it on his blog, send me a link.

    I’m not sure how that would go.
    RD is a progressive of course,
    but politics is not his public persona so much.
    He is not really a political person, so much as a public atheist, scientist and skeptic.

    That’s how I see him anyway.

  123. 123.

    THE

    No my mistake. I just checked out the RDF website. There is a politics section there, so perhaps it will fit in there just fine.

  124. 124.

    samara morgan

    @THE:Dawkins is not a progressive. he is an evangelical atheist and a bitter old JAFI with vascular dementia.

  127. 127.

    THE

    he is an evangelical atheist and a bitter old JAFI

    Atheism is a common response for rationalists confronted by Abrahamic religions.

    It is not really possible to reconcile Abrahamic religions with Bayesian reason and naturalism, which are the foundations of scientific thought. Many if not most, scientifically-inclined Abrahamists, end up as atheists. Occupational hazard.

  128. 128.

    THE

    I believe there is also a significant problem with Abrahamic religions and thoroughgoing radical humanism.

    The whole idea of a God who makes laws, and judges humanity, is really anathema to a radical humanist like me. Kreepy, kreepy, kreepy.

    Put simply: God is an alien intelligence, whereas my first loyalty is to my species.

    In the end you have to decide whether you have a God-centered value system, or a Man-centered one. I have made my choice.

    FWIW because of Thou art That, humanism is not a problem in Dharmic religions. They are humanism-friendly belief systems. Once again proving the inherent superiority of Eastern religions (to me).

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