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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

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It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Augusta Georgia is just no place to be

Augusta Georgia is just no place to be

by DougJ|  April 8, 20127:03 pm| 91 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Sports

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I’ve never played golf, but I like watching it. How about you guys? Or talk about something else.

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Previous Post: « RIP, Mike Wallace
Next Post: Open Thread: Treachery — It’s In Their Nature »

Reader Interactions

91Comments

  1. 1.

    Rook

    April 8, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I’d play golf but………. Look! Obama’s a Muslim!

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Glad you picked this one up at 6:00pm CST.

  3. 3.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Golf is hard.

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    The Masters’ app on iPad for Amen Corner was kind of mind blowing.

  5. 5.

    pragmatism

    April 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    I want to kick Jim nantz in the sack. Too schmaltzy. Plus he’s a bush worshiper.

  6. 6.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    How bout that DAWG!!!!!!

  7. 7.

    estamm

    April 8, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    I prefer the sport of watching paint dry. Much more exciting.

  8. 8.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    @estamm: Yea, a 215 yd double eagle and playoff is a real snoozer.

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    I think they should raffle off tickets for someone to get to clip that flowing mullet Bubba has. For charity, of course.

  10. 10.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    April 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    I’ve heard that Augustans all get together, in any kind of weather, and they do The Camel Walk.

  11. 11.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): This putt goes in and they’ll be doin the Dawg Walk!

  12. 12.

    Clark Stooksbury

    April 8, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    Never understood people watching or playing golf (other than putt putt, of course), but I love titles that reference lyrics.

  13. 13.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Yikes!

  14. 14.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Ouch!!

  15. 15.

    gnomedad

    April 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    I’ve golfed maybe twice on work outings. I sucked, of course, but watching golf on TV is rather abstract; hearing and seeing the ball whiz through the air was surprisingly visceral in person. I grokked the appeal more than I expected to.

  16. 16.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Honestly, could there be anything more perfect than a grown man named “Bubba” winning The Masters at Augusta National where they won’t allow any woman members?
    Bubba. For God’s sake.

  17. 17.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    These guys. Shit.

  18. 18.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    @gnomedad: I think after trying to actually hit the ball a few times, the game on TV becomes a different thing.

  19. 19.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    His dad called him Bubba after Bubba Smith.

  20. 20.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    His wife is 6’4″

  21. 21.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    ARF!

  22. 22.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    WTF??

  23. 23.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Golf is to game like World of Warcraft is to literature.

    @Raven: You’re absolutely right, that is boring as fuck. Now throw in a bunch of nasty sexism and racism and you have the whole golf experience.

  24. 24.

    FridayNext

    April 8, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Honestly, could there be anything more perfect than a grown man named “Bubba” winning The Masters at Augusta National where they won’t allow any woman members?
    Bubba. For God’s sake.

    Even if I watched golf I likely wouldn’t watch it played at an openly misogynistic place like Augusta just out of principle. Is there another place in America that more symbolically stands for the old boys club that is the ruling 1% in this country?

  25. 25.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  26. 26.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    April 8, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    @Raven:

    Ahh, so Bubba’s a Georgia guy, huh?

    Haven’t been following much. My local CBS affiliate doesn’t come in here. And even if it did, the Tigers have had my attention this weekend.

  27. 27.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): Yea, played here his last 2 years.

  28. 28.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Ooooosstty!!

  29. 29.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    It’s boring, it’s sexist, the azalea’s already turned waaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

  30. 30.

    Keith

    April 8, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Except for not being able to play at a leisure pace, I absolutely love golf, even though I am terrible at it. It’s got some of the best scenery of any sport, isn’t cardio-intensive (unless you walk the course), and has relatively few rules.

  31. 31.

    Mike in NC

    April 8, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    We live on a golf course but I’d register Republican before I picked up a frickin’ club.

  32. 32.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    HOW BOUT THAT DAWG !

    And fuck all you whiny shits.

  33. 33.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    “And his name is Bubba.”

  34. 34.

    Schlemizel

    April 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    @estamm:
    I’m with you.

    My kids took me out figuring I’m of an age where golf should be as excited as I get. I actually out shot them! Maybe I should have started earlier. But watching other people play? Not really, thanks

  35. 35.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    @Raven: Wow, good comeback. You get that little gem from the boys at the clubhouse?

    But hey, enjoy watching the Masters. Don’t let the fact that it’s run by an explicitly racist and sexist organization harsh on your enjoyment of your stupid little game.

    I mean, it’s great that Augusta won’t allow women to join. That’s not a dark stain on the entire game at all. In fact, it’s better than way, because nobody wants their good clubs all covered in menstrual blood. Besides, its not like any woman could make it through 18 holes before having to stop and go shoe shopping, amirite?

  36. 36.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: Tell your mama.

  37. 37.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    @Raven: I would, but I’m at the country club and she’s not allowed here.

  38. 38.

    jl

    April 8, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I was extremely disappointed to learn that there is no evidence that Mark Twain ever said ‘Golf is the best way to spoil a good walk’.

    For just this one case, I will just ignore the facts for the sake of humanity.

    Playing golf sucks. I know, had some relatives who conned me into starting to learn it when I was a kid. Hilarity ensued for awhile.

    I actually have watched shadows creep across a wall one afternoon, and have compared the value of that experience to watching and or playing golf. Golf loses by a mile.

  39. 39.

    burnspbesq

    April 8, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire:

    That’s some seriously weak shit. Did you actually pay money to take that How to Write Like Matt Taibbi course? If you did, you were defrauded.

  40. 40.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: awww

  41. 41.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    And this sexist scumbag that won it and his wife adopted a 1 month old baby. Assholes.

  42. 42.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Put it on you ole’ hillbilly!!

  43. 43.

    Downpuppy

    April 8, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Sandy beaches drinking rum every night & talking golf?

    No fucking way.

  44. 44.

    JPL

    April 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: Augusta is a private course and their members choose who to admit. The PGA is the organization that chooses to play there. Somehow is the PGA chose not to play there, Augusta might change their rules. Just my opinion.

  45. 45.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    Golf is hard, fywp.

  46. 46.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    @Corner Stone: God, I enjoyed the whining since Thursday almost as much as the golf.

  47. 47.

    RossInDetroit

    April 8, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Me & Golf do not get along. Or rather I like the sport but did NOT like the other golfers. I took a course of lessons years ago with a girlfriend so we would have an outdoor activity in common. I did pretty well in the classes!
    But the first few rounds we played as noobs, we were hustled along and harassed by groups behind us who wanted to play through, wanted us to go faster or just wished we would die in a fire for taking too many strokes. Like they were doing it against the clock for money or something.
    One guy hit his drive, swinging for the green on a short hole, WHILE I WAS PUTTING. I picked up his ball, calmly walked down the fairway to the tee, handed it to him and said “I think this is yours. The next time you do that you’ll need a proctologist to find it.”
    And that was pretty much the end of golf for me.

  48. 48.

    eemom

    April 8, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    Dude. You finally post a decent lyric and ya gotta stick it in a fucking GOLF thread?

    Very well then. None of these clueless sports-obsessed clowns is gonna do it any justice, so it falls to me to think Jamaica in the moonlight…

  49. 49.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    @Raven: Wow, he adopted a child? Wow, I was so wrong about Augusta, and golf in general, being dominated by sexists. Because those are two related ideas. Ayup.

    The scales have fallen from my eyes. I now see that forbidding a woman from joining the club is not sexist at all. How silly of me to think otherwise.

    Look, if you like golf, then play it. We all like odd things. Just don’t sit there and pretend that sexism isn’t rampant in the “sport”.

  50. 50.

    eemom

    April 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    @Clark Stooksbury:
    @Downpuppy:

    Ah. Apologies, fellow 70s hipsters.

    The REST of you suck.

  51. 51.

    EriktheRed

    April 8, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    Never cared about golf when I was a kid and didn’t understand it. Now that I understand it a bit better, I still care not a fig for it.

    I like baseball.

  52. 52.

    RossInDetroit

    April 8, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    Two guys play 18 holes after work. They shower in the clubhouse and start to get dressed. Guy #1 reaches into his bag and starts putting on a red bra, garter belt, stockings, etc.

    Guy #2: Woah! Since when do you wear that stuff?
    Guy #1″ Since my wife found it in the back seat of my car.

    Old joke, but I love that one.

  53. 53.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: Go fuck yourself asshole, I’m not sitting her pretending anything, you don’t know a goddamn thing about me or what I think.

  54. 54.

    Fluke bucket

    April 8, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    The double eagle was amazing but the shot bubba hit out of the pines was unbelievable

  55. 55.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    @Raven: I know that you’re taking “Augusta is a sexist institution” as a personal attack. I also know that you take “I don’t like golf” as a personal attack. Do you think it’s always a personal attack when someone disagrees with you? Do you think people are pointing out Augusta’s sexist idiocy just so they can tweak you about it?

    It’s not all about you, you pompous jerk.

  56. 56.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    OMG someone doesn’t like golf. THAT MAKES ME SO MAD GRRRRRR

  57. 57.

    Slowbama

    April 8, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    I specifically came to this thread just to enjoy the predictable ineffectual pontification about the travesty of the thuggish Neanderthals at Augusta National and the ongoing criminal enterprise of the Southern white male hegemony that rules over us all, etc. Thanks for not disappointing me.

  58. 58.

    Fluke bucket

    April 8, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    A Georgia boy named Bubba wins The Masters and heads explode. He is Risen!

  59. 59.

    Ruviana

    April 8, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    @estamm: The best part of HGTV!

  60. 60.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: you don’t know shit

  61. 61.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    The Shanghai Gesture is a killer.

  62. 62.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    The Shanghai Gesture is a killer.

  63. 63.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    @Raven: No, you’re right. All those posts you made flipping your shit over the idea that people might not love golf as much as you in no way indicate that you’re the type of person to flip his shit over the idea that people might not love golf as much as you.

    But hey, now you have Slowbama backing you up. That must feel good.

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    Golf is fun. And frustrating. And devilishly addictive. I had to stop a few years back because I wanted to play better so I was at the range 4 nights a week, playing rounds twice a week, and practicing round the greens for a couple hours.
    It was just too much.

    I mean, I could also kick your ass at tennis, pool, darts, table tennis…pick it.
    Not sure what all the haterz are about.

  65. 65.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: I don’t give a fuck what “people” think and I don’t need anybody to back me up. It’s a stupid fucking blog.

  66. 66.

    eemom

    April 8, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Y’all need to chill out and listen to the song.

  67. 67.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    @Raven: RAR I DON’T CARE GRRRR SEE HOW LITTLE I CARE RRRAAAARRRRR

  68. 68.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: Listen schmuck, I can do this until Great Expectations comes on a 9.

  69. 69.

    grandpa john

    April 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    I sense some confusion in the thread
    1. Augusta is the name of a city in GA, The Augusta National Golf Course happens to be within the city limits. The city itself has nothing to do with the Clubs management or the running of the M asters.
    2. Women golfers happen to have their own organization called the LPGA which establishes it own Tournament tour across the country and men don’t get to participate in it.
    the to do about women is in relationship to membership, not who participates in the Masters tournament.
    So for all critics I ask that you make sure that your are at least criticizing the correct people or organizations

  70. 70.

    Some Guy

    April 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire:

    Oh, leave poor little Raven alone. The other kids used to pick on him for liking golf.

    It is okay, Raven. We still love you.

  71. 71.

    Violet

    April 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Congrats to Bubba on a great tournament and fantastic finish. That shot from the pine needles was amazing.

  72. 72.

    cmorenc

    April 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Golf’s a great game to play walking the course with a pull-cart on an uncrowded course where the fairways aren’t surrounded tee to green with housing developments, and you enjoy each good shot and good hole (and the occasional birdie) but don’t take it seriously enough to get upset with the bad shots and bad holes. I have a longtime friend I sometimes play with in that fashion, and along about the fifth hole we’ll find a secluded bench and get stoned and take the game even less seriously than the first five holes. It makes for a wonderful day.

    The one allegedly “fancy” high-end famous course I’ve played that’s truly worth it is Pinehurst #2, which is remarkably unpretentious and playable for humble amateurs, easy to play most of the holes in no worse than bogey or double-bogey, but challenging to par more than a few holes, and gotta be a bit lucky to birdie kind of course. THEY LET WOMEN PLAY IT EVERY DAY, albeit most of the women are wives of Republicans, but so be it.

  73. 73.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    April 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    @Raven: Did you read the joke about Jesus and St. Peter playing golf? It’s really, really funny. And I was a bit cranky about the azaleas. Hell of a playoff though.

  74. 74.

    shortstop

    April 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Not sure what all the haterz are about.

    I think they’re about honestly answering the question Doug posed: “I like watching golf; do you?” without taking the apparently gossamer-fragile fee-fees and ongoing anger management issues of a minority of golf lovers into account.

    I love baseball. I mean, I really love it. I spent Easter Sunday afternoon at the ballpark and had a great time. I couldn’t care less, much less consider exploding in rage, when someone announces they think that’s a lame way to engage a few hours. I have nothing invested in other people’s opinions of the game or its shortcomings. Why would anyone about any sport?

  75. 75.

    feebog

    April 8, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    Golf is about the only sport I can still play. Can’t bowl, due to a broken right wrist while in the Army. Can’t play softball anymore. So, it is golf or nothing, I choose golf. A bunch of us have a standing tee time at a little course in Santa Paula CA. Sometimes three of four of us show up, sometimes seven or eight. I value the time spent with my friends, several of whom are fellow Viet Nam vets.

    It is a humbling game, and it keeps me active, so I will keep on playing as long as I can. And yes, Bubba’s shot out of the trees on the second hole of the playoff was one of the most amazing shots I’ver ever seen.

  76. 76.

    Violet

    April 8, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    I have no idea why I can’t post about the ch a r ity music v i d eo that Bubba and his pro golf buddies made. FYWP isn’t letting me post about it.

    Edit: It let me post! Here’s a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuEihw

  77. 77.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    @shortstop: gleefully

  78. 78.

    shortstop

    April 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    @Violet: Ch a r ity is the new dic k-hardening d r u g. Something to do with Elizabeth Kucinich.

  79. 79.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    @shortstop: This is what the douchebag wrote:

    “Wow, good comeback. You get that little gem from the boys at the clubhouse?

    But hey, enjoy watching the Masters. Don’t let the fact that it’s run by an explicitly racist and sexist organization harsh on your enjoyment of your stupid little game.

    I mean, it’s great that Augusta won’t allow women to join. That’s not a dark stain on the entire game at all. In fact, it’s better than way, because nobody wants their good clubs all covered in menstrual blood. Besides, its not like any woman could make it through 18 holes before having to stop and go shoe shopping, amirite?”

    Now you tell me who “exploded in rage”?

  80. 80.

    Raven

    April 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    and now, Great Expectations
    g’night

  81. 81.

    Violet

    April 8, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    @shortstop:
    Thanks for the heads up. Didn’t know that one tripped the meter.

  82. 82.

    shortstop

    April 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    @Violet: I see what you did there, young lady.

  83. 83.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    @shortstop: I’m sure there’s an answer here. But it certainly isn’t to me.
    I couldn’t care less if people hate golf, would rather watch paint dry, or think golfers themselves should be immolated by a space alien’s ray.
    I, personally, try my hand at golf once in a while. I more often hit the pitching/chipping area because it suits my temperament better. And my pocketbook and available schedule.
    But some of the responses here weren’t exactly honest in their response to what you consider DougJ’s question.

  84. 84.

    burnspbesq

    April 8, 2012 at 9:06 pm

    @eemom:

    Say what, now?

    Rodney Crowell is a great writer and performer, but the closest he came to being hip was playing with James Burton in Emmylou Harris’ band.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j4cu-MuLgc&ob=av2e

  85. 85.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    @Raven: Good Gad, you think that was “exploding in rage”?

    You know what? I take it all back. I apologize for daring to make a golf joke where you could see it. I was under the impression that posters at BJ had some thick skin. I honestly didn’t realize just how much someone expressing their dislike of golf would hurt you.

    I mean, I have golf playing friends, and when I crack golf jokes to them they laugh and zing me back. Apparently if it was you you’d just punch me in the face and scream about how awful I am.

    Sorry for assuming you could take a fucking joke.

  86. 86.

    Corner Stone

    April 8, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire: You and your golf hate have hurt me now. No cookies for you!

  87. 87.

    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire

    April 8, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    @Corner Stone: No cookies?

    I love golf. It’s so much fun. Everyone knows the best sports involve driving around the playing field. It’s… it’s just fascinating… watching the… GAH keep your damn cookies.

  88. 88.

    KIlkee

    April 8, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    @pragmatism: ‘Tis a fuckin’ game. And a hard one to master. Politics aside (ha ha!) when you can come close to playing it at the level of a freakin imbecile get back to me with your snark. Until then, Bubba is the man. +5 and a Yankee in weepin’ Bubba’s corner

  89. 89.

    KIlkee

    April 8, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    @Corner Stone: Exactly. Assholes think it’s easy.

  90. 90.

    Steeplejack

    April 8, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    Played a little golf in my younger days, but I didn’t like the high expense/equipment/scheduling factors. Too many other things to do that were much more accessible. I figured I could take it up again in my dotage.

    A couple of years ago I got into the Tiger Woods PGA game for the Wii, which is very good. That revived my interest in watching the game on TV. And I find the Golf Channel good background video wallpaper when I’m working at home (the actual tournaments, not all the ancillary shows).

    I enjoyed watching the Masters, although I was somewhat irritated that they didn’t let the Golf Channel show the early stuff and they held it all for ESPN (Thursday-Friday) and CBS (Saturday-Sunday). So we got too much “highlights and recap” and too much concentration on the dozen or so big-name golfers and leaders.

    Oosthuizen’s albatross was amazing, and the playoff was a suitably dramatic finish.

  91. 91.

    Terry

    April 9, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Disc golf is the way to go (Frisbee golf). Much cheaper, almost free, and 18 holes only kills 90 minutes :)

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