For no particular reason — except the new season of “Mad Men” — film noir has been on my mind a lot lately. Also too, I like to talk about dark stuff on spring holidays.
So two questions:
(a) What is the best film noir that I am unlikely to have seen? I’ve seen most of the famous ones.
(b) What is the best film noir theme song? I’ll go with “Portrait of Jennie” just edging out the theme from “Laura”.
Finally, I love parodies of film noir, so much so that I enjoyed most of “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, so I’m going to share with you an intro to a proposed film noir project that a friend of mine wrote about gerrymandering in New York State politics. It was supposed to be for my old blog, but the other people there took things a bit too seriously.
It was the kind of shape that kept the booze business going; cute on the bottom, big up top, and curves in all the right places. It should have come with a sign that said, “Danger! Hands Off!”. Instead, it read, “Map of Senate Districts in New York State” and was gerrymandered so screwy, the only way incumbents left office was in a wooden box or a jumpsuit. Running against them was a one way ticket to Palookaville. I looked at the set up. The pachyderms still ran the joint, but if the smart asses could get three more seats, they could redraw the lines in big blue markers and deep six the protection racket wholesale. Sure, I thought; about as likely as a three-legged pony winning the Preakness.
I looked across the street as mercury vapor lamps poured a head on the High Falls Brewery. It smelled like Cream of Wheat and syrup. It smelled like time for a drink. I reached for the bottle.
That’s when she walked in.