I’ve added a new song to my repertoire of serenades to Lily- Guns and Roses present Sweet Dog of Mine.
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by John Cole| 67 Comments
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Bark louder, little dog.
All your base are belong to Tunch.
In my day, never was longer.
We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.
Let’s not be the monsters we hate.
They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.
Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.
No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.
A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals
The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.
Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.
Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.
You can’t love your country only when you win.
Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll
This fight is for everything.
Nothing worth doing is easy.
Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.
A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.
A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.
I was promised a recession.
They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!
Optimism opens the door to great things.
The willow is too close to the house.
But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.
Balloon-Juice Platinum Member
Zimmerman is going to be the wingnuts OJ. Trial of the century.
cathyx
Poor Lily. Isn’t that Hannity’s radio show theme song?
Slugger
Since this is an open thread, I’d like to announce that I don’t give a horsepuck about the Titanic and don’t know anyone who does. Dear MSM stop telling me about it!
Comrade Mary
Do you sing Slash’s guitar solo? Please say yes!
cathyx
@Slugger: I agree about the Titanic. And I could add to that list of things that I’m tired of rehashing (not that I’m callous to the fact that it happened) are Elvis Presley and Pearl Harbor. And soon, 9/11.
Violet
Who let the Tunch out? Who? Who?
Amir Khalid
@Slugger:
That song from Titanic always makes me cringe, when Celine Dion sings the line “My heart will go on and on“.
I’ve never bothered to look up the songwriting credits, but here’s a tip to the songwriter (whoever they may be): “go on” and “go on and on” are different expressions meaning very different things. The former simply means to continue. The latter means to keep on talking without end, even after exhausting one’s point and the listener’s patience.
Omnes Omnibus
John, some facts weren’t meant to be shared.
MattR
Does Lily like Beatles songs?
I started altering the chorus of Brother Louie for Ellie after hearing it as the theme song for Louis CK’s latest TV show.
Jade Jordan
You are seriously weird John Cole. Any Columbian prostitutes in your past?
robertdsc-PowerBook
LOL.
EIGRP
Saw Bruce Springsteen in Buffalo last night. Great show.
He asked the crowd during one interlude (paraphrased): when history is written 20 years from now, which side will you be on? Tax breaks for millionaires/billionaires and cutting services for the poor, or helping out your neighbor?
J.
This may help you understand Tunch.
Professor
Why do these Repukeblicans think that RAPE is a joking matter? I read that Newt, the buffoon, said that fewer women are getting raped because of the 2nd amendment – GUNS! How stupid can one get!
jl
@Jade Jordan:
” Any Columbian prostitutes in your past? ”
I would guess a Telenovela diva. I happened onto a case study on what can happen with moody volatile codependent situations out here on the left coast, so I have anecdata to support my case.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@EIGRP: Heh. Springsteen’s act is IIRC pretty steady. I hope and trust he said that when Christie was in the audience. Probably what put him to sleep. Or made him faint.
jl
@J.: Paw de deux: a chilling insight into catness, a masterpiece that will leave any thoughtful viewer devastated. Not sure what it has to do with the mysterious Tunch phenomenon though.
gbear
Of course I was thinking, ‘Wait, isn’t Sweet Dog of Mine by Deep Purple?” But of course that would be Sweet Dog In Time.
jl
@efgoldman: Are they going to sail the replica Titanic cruise ship into Fenway Park? That would be cool. Can I score tix?
kdaug
@Amir Khalid:
Let’s consider that line crossed.
jl
Also, it never occurred to me that there is a rock sub genre of songs about, or with references to dogs, mutts and canines.
I would guess that, in memory of the troubled early Rosie years, her song would be Dire Wolf, but maybe Cole has outgrown his Deadhead phase.
asiangrrlMN
@Slugger: “I’ll never let you go, Jack!” Thunk. Best part of the movie (after Kate Winslet’s breasts). “Move your ass over, Rose. There’s room for two!”
Cole, video or it never happened. And, TUNCHIE!
Addendum: The Twins really fucking suck.
Gex
@cathyx: I have to vote for Woodstock. Every five years or so there seems to be some sort of “We had a concert in a field once and changed everything!!!” campaign that just irritates.
@Professor: Is it because they’re getting killed instead?
Hungry Joe
When necessary, I sing a (modified) Pretenders song to my dog:
It is time / for you to stop / all of your barking …
patrick II
I like dogs. I owned a wonderful Samoyed who, aside from shedding fifty pounds of hair each spring, was one of the great dogs of all time. But I don’t trust pit bulls. Yesterday my wife and I were walking near an apartment complex in my neighborhood when a lady walking a large pit bull crossed into a parking lot in front of us. The dog saw us and quickly moved at us. The leash began to slip out of the lady’s hand. The dog was just staring into my eyes unblinking and kept pulling. Finally the lady knelt down and put her arm around the dog’s neck in a choke hold and tried to calm the dog down by saying “No, no, they’re nice people” as if the dog could understand. We walked on — not too quickly — and turned the corner and got out of their sight.
I don’t know what the story was with that dog, but having a large pit bull straining at it’s barely controlled leash to get at you is an unsettling experience.
kdaug
@Jade Jordan:
Nah. But he did take a bullet for the President once.
They never found it.
Some suspect it bounced off, but this is unproven.
JPL
@Slugger: You know who else is sick about hearing about the Titanic, Carnival Cruise Lines.
Amir Khalid
@jl:
The classic of the dog-song genre in rock is of course this song.
Southern Beale
As you may have heard, the geniuses in the Tennessee legislature who just decided it’s okay to teach kids about “intelligent design” have also decided to “update” our abstinence-only curriculum to include hand-holding as a “gateway sexual activity.”
I came up with some other troubling gateways, as have some commenters. Because really, at this point: all you can do is laugh, or cry, or both.
forked tongue
SONGS TO OUR PETS!
This is a little ditty I like to sing to my GF’s cat Strummer when he sniffs the carpet and comes up with some unimaginable little piece of whatever-it-is to munch on. It’s sung to the tune of the Sailor’s Hornpipe:
“He’s a sniffin’ cat, and he likes to do his sniffin’
But he comes up flat when there’s nothing worth the whiffin’
So he sniffles and he snuffles like a piggy hunting truffles, ’til he comes up with a yummy piece of carpet fuzz.”
I also have another one about all three of her cats, set to the tune of “The Jets’ Song” from West Side Story:
“Max is a cat who’s a cat all the way
He’s a kitty who packs lots of naps in each day
Strummer’s a cat who likes knocking things down,
Jumping up to great heights, rolling in coffee grounds*
And Milo’s a cat who makes a good impression
He loves his toy mice
And when it comes to fetchin,’ he’s never kvetchin’
Here come the cats, yeah
And we’re gonna eat
Every can of wet food,
Every greenie and treat
Gonna eat every buggin,’ ever lovin’ TREEEEEEEAT”
*Embarrassing but 100% TRUE!
(Actually, this entire post is embarrassing but 100% true.)
suzanne
I spent the day in the ER with the baby yesterday, who has some nasty viral plague that is giving her a 104-degree fever, a rash, a febrile seizure, and dehydration. I am exhausted.
Things You Probably Knew: babies hate catheters.
cathyx
@suzanne: Sorry to hear about your baby. That must have been scary.
I love catheters. If I could have one every night when I’m sleeping, I’d be happy. And well rested.
PurpleGirl
@suzanne: Sounds awful. I hope she’s doing better now.
suzanne
The song I sing to my dog: the Pixies’ “No, 13 Baby”. Lyrics have been modified to, “La Luuuuuuunaaaaaaa, you’re in a state!”
To the cat Scout: When telling her to leave me alone so I can sleep, it’s Tears for Fears: “Scout, Scout, get the fuck out, you are the cat I can do without—for now.”
To cat Zelda, I don’t sing. I merely scream in terror.
Southern Beale
@cathyx:
I think it’s the theme song of the Ed Schultz Show, actually. Hannity’s theme song used to be “Independence Day,” written by the hugely liberal songwriter/mom to a transgendered teen Gretchen Peters. She always says she has no control over whether he uses it or not but since he has to pay to use it, it enables her to donate more money to the ACLU and such.
suzanne
The song I sing to my dog: the Pixies’ “No, 13 Baby”. Lyrics have been modified to, “La Luuuuuuunaaaaaaa, you’re in a state!”
To the cat Scout: When telling her to leave me alone so I can sleep, it’s Tears for Fears: “Scout, Scout, get the fuck out, you are the cat I can do without—for now.”
To cat Zelda, I don’t sing. I merely scream in terror.
Southern Beale
We have three dogs and 7 cats and each one of them has their own theme song, which we usually make up. We are very silly people.
forked tongue
Oh yeah! When Milo interferes with making the bed, it’s this (to the tune of “Dear Officer Krupke”):
“Deeeeeeaaarrrr
Kindly helpful Milo
Please get out of our way
And though you make us smile-o
We really have to say
That you can be a nuisance
And Brother, that’s the troot’
Golly Moses, why are you so cute?”
jeffreyw
Mrs J sings “Bingo” to our pups – they howl a chorus in return.
metalgirl
Since this is an open thread, I just want to say that I spent the bulk of the beautiful day at the Wake Co Democratic Party Convention in Raleigh, NC today and am “Fired up and ready to go” to elect our Democratic candidates up and down the ballot in November. Here in NC, there’s Amendment One that’s on our May 8 primary ballot that is more than anti-gay marriage, it’s anti-family (for more details: http://www.protectncfamilies.org/ ). I brought back a bundle of anti-amendment one yard signs to pass out to friends. I am also a first-time chair of my precinct and hope that I can attend the Democratic convention in Charlotte, even if it’s just by volunteering. We need to mobilize and stand up for the 99% this year.
J.
@jl: Tunch is misunderstood… surrounded by morons…
Bnut
@suzanne: Not just babies. The catheter was worse than the PT after my surgery.
On a happier note, my new rescue dog arrived today! Monroe, 65 pounds of 6 month old black lab! He’s the cutest thing in the history of everything. Currently sleeping at my feet as I type this.
the Conster (f/k/a Cat Lady)
Another overtime hockey playoff game in Boston, the 5th of the playoffs. Best. Playoffs. Ever.
Gex
@Bnut: Congrats! To you and to the pup.
Constance
I’m having dinner at friends. They are re-creating the last first class dinner on the Titanic. This is the fifth and last year of amazing dinners. The dinner served in steerage was even delicious. It did have lentils but also two courses of meat and a tasty dessert.
We are required to dress up for this one. I’m wearing black, lots of beads, sequins and velvet, as well as makeup and heels (the heels will last from the front door to the photo session, then disappear forever. I wear makeup so rarely that I end up using it once and throw it away a year later. This year I bought everything at $1.49 and $2.67 each and spent less than $12. Probably toxic as hell but I’ll remove it all after I get home. Am taking Zantac with me to sneak between dessert and the showing of the Titanic movie.
We’ve seen four different versions and the best was actually the German propaganda movie made during World War II. This year we are seeing the dreadful DiCaprio version. I’ve never seen it so that’s okay. It’s great fun with 14 good friends, most of whom are funny and good conversationalists and all liberals.
And now I’m off to the shower and then the endless preparation.
lamh35
Damn Person Of Interest show! I’m never using my credit/bank/debit card to pay for anymore meals at restaurants where my card is gonna be taken from the table and swiped! What if the waiter/waitress had some type of card scanner to steal your ID or credit card info!!!!
Svensker
@suzanne:
Gosh and golly, that kind of stuff is so scary. Hope baby’s recovering and parental units are, too.
Libby's person
@metalgirl: Thanks for getting so involved! I’m in Durham, doing what I can but not at the level you are. I’m helping out a local candidate and donating to key races, but I just can’t handle the precinct-level stuff. I respect people like you who do the hard work!
Why I love living in Durham – I bought local asparagus at the farmers market this morning, then stopped by the Anti-Amendment booth at the farmers market to pick up a yardsign. (I was too late to get one last week – all of their signs were gone within 20 minutes. They brought more this week.) Last night, my dog and I met up with the local candidate I’m supporting at the kid- and dog-friendly micro-brewery/pub downtown, where we drank good local beer and talked progressive politics and stormwater management while eating great pizza (made from locally sourced ingredients) from one of the great foodtrucks parked outside. (The dog helped with the pizza, but not the beer.)
Svensker
@Bnut:
Cuteness is good! Congrats. We want to hear all the adventures.
askew
So, Tweety is managing to be an embarrassment while moderating a panel discussion between Obama and the presidents of Brazil and Colombia.
He referred to the Colombian president as the “hombre in the middle” and asked such a stupid question that Obama smacked him down.
Libby's person
@Bnut: Congratulations! And good luck – a 6 month old lab can be a force of nature. Cute and sweet and with every chance of growing up to be a paragon of dogdom in a year or so, after they eat a few pieces of furniture, dig a few mine-sized holes in the backyard, and eat everything in your cabinets and fridge a couple of times once they learn how those ‘door’ things work…
(It was many years ago, but the memories haven’t faded! He did grow up to be a pretty amazing dog, and I still miss him.)
lamh35
@askew: shocking no one Tweety is making an ass of himself in another country….color me not surprised. Tweety’s an idiot who obviously thinks more of himself than others do
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@askew: Lord above, below and behind the couch. I don’t hate Tweety as much as I did during the Clenis and Gore-hating madness– he was probably the most prominent opponent of the Iraq War in the electronic media– but who in Bieber’s name thought he should be moderating a discussion between heads of state. He’s the affable loudmouth at the corner bar.
EIGRP
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I gotta believe the Boss is the kinda guy who wouldn’t kowtow to someone like that (or anyone for that matter)
Eric
James E. Powell
@Constance:
I’ve seen the menu. I love to eat and have a big appetite, but there is no way I could do more than nibble at each course. I wonder if that is how the elites did it back in the day.
j
Ode to da dog, by Frank Zappa…”Evelyn”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nINYjuPsHbo
(Indeed)
Hill Dweller
Axelrod is pummeling Rombot’s spokesman on the Twitter machine.
Valdivia
@Hill Dweller:
For those of us not on the twitter machine can you give us an idea?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Valdivia: you can look at tweets without joining, in a nutshell, the GOP is trying to whip up outrage about Maher again– he was mean to The Lady Ann. Axelrod’s responses…
MikeJ
metalgirl
@Libby’s person: What you’re doing is very important as well and sounds like more fun! :) We need to mobilize everyone to get our candidates elected this year considering all the super-pac money going against the Dems. It’s ALL good!
Valdivia
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: @MikeJ:
Thank you both!
I loathe the Rombot’s team.
Hill Dweller
@Valdivia: Eric ‘Etch-a-sketch’ Fehrnstrom is whining about some ‘degrading’ comments Bill Maher allegedly said about Ann Romney, and Obama’s lack of condemnation.
Axelrod is reminding Fehrnstrom of every Republican that has said shit about Obama and/or Sandra Fluke(Foster Friess, Harold Simmons, Limbaugh, etc.), while Romney stayed silent. He also threw in a gratuitous Swiss bank account jab.
Mnemosyne
I sing various random things to the cats, but the long-term hit is “Bedtime for Kitties,” sung to this tune.
Also, I’m still in shock that I paid EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS to my eye doctor yesterday for three pair of glasses (distance, computer and sunglasses). Having really bad eyesight is very expensive unless you want your lenses to be an inch thick.
suzanne
@Bnut: Congratulations! Soooo fun!
Thanks, y’all, for the sympathy. She’s doing better now, we’re all just exhausted.
kay
@Hill Dweller:
Be happy. They’re overplaying it.
If the plan is to make Ann Romney the aggrieved, offended spouse every day until November, that’s not a good plan.
I think people will probably have limited patience or sympathy with that.
People don’t know who she is.
Her whole introduction can’t be “I’m Ann Romney and I’m offended”.
They should have just taken what they got last week and moved on.
burnspbesq
@Libby’s person:
“Why I love living in Durham”
You forgot to mention the best barbecue joint on Earth, Bullock’s. I took spouse and kid there for lunch when we were there for the Stones concert at Wally Wade. Seven years later, they still talk about it.