My Rumproast co-blogger StrangeAppar8us used to do an occasional series on One-Scoop Wonder Matt Drudge. I thought of Strange when I saw the OOGA BOOGA headline below, so I decided I’d revive Strange’s regular feature.
Here’s the story it links to, which covers Mittens’ NRA speech. In that speech, Mittens regurgitated the NRA’s own paranoid fantasy about Obama, which goes something like this: Obama does fuck-all about guns for four years as part of a fiendishly clever scheme to lull gun owners into a false sense of security and win a second term. And then, just as quick as his hand leaves the bible on his Second Inauguration Day, Obama orders jack-booted ATF agents to go door-to-door to forcibly disarm the populace.
Of course, Mittens himself was all for sensible gun control measures when he was running for and serving as governor of Massachusetts, and unlike the president, Mittens has actually signed gun control legislation. If the NRA were a bipartisan interest group, it would support the president over Romney for that reason.
But the NRA is actually a dismal, dishonest collection of Republican hacks and barrel-stroking, pinwheel-eyed lunatics who believe open-carry permits are required to protect them from rogue turkeys, so it’s entirely in the bag for Gun-Grabber Willard.
As for Mittens himself, who the hell knows what he really believes on the gun issue. He believes he should be president, and he believes there’s no lie too shameless to utter in pursuit of that goal. And his lies will be swallowed, digested and excreted as truth by fellow liars and hacks like Drudge, and the resulting turds will be polished to a high gloss by bottom-feeders like Halperin.
[X-posted at Rumproast]
lacp
Willard is the Anti-Dos-Equis-Guy: The Least Interesting Man in the World.
Walph Wiggum
Romney coming for our alcohol.
Amir Khalid
This foreigner’s impression was that the NRA believed in legal open carry without requiring permits.
Mickey
I have nothing to add. That was a damn good summary Betty. Enjoy it because my praise of anything and anyone on this site is basically non-existant.
So that leaves the question. What the hell are you doing here with the rest of these hacks? Surely there are better gigs out there for someone with actual blogging abilities.
c u n d gulag
Mitt, you crazy ol’ varmint!
You’re not a mere flip-flopper anymore.
At this point, you’re spinning so fast, you’re a f*cking dradle!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I suspect the Romneys, especially him, have more contempt for the GOP base than any political family since the Cabot Lodges (that’s just a guess, for all I know the CLs were lovely people), even more than the elder Bushes. Willard is both a prep school trust fund baby and a self-made Randian narcissist– he thinks everyone is beneath him. I doubt in his heart of hearts he would disagree with you (and me) on this
(and Mitt looked really fucking creepy standing next to his wife on that stage. Total fucking Lurch.)
suzanne
So many gun owners spend so much time being frightened of shit. Not the shit that actually does happen with greater regularity than home invasion or random shooting sprees in mega church parking lots, like, say, heart attacks from eating too much greasy-ass food or fatal car wrecks or global warming. I really don’t get it. I’ve been home invaded twice and I still don’t own a gun. And that’s still not the thing that keeps me up at night. I really don’t comprehend why someone would choose to spend so much time afraid.
gogol's wife
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
The Cabot Lodges have the virtue of having produced John Lodge (brother of Nixon’s running mate in 1960), who tried to be a movie actor before he gave up and fulfilled the family destiny of being a Republican politician (governor of Connecticut). Before his movie career died out, he achieved immortality as Count Alexei opposite Marlene Dietrich in Josef von Sternberg’s “The Scarlet Empress.” He’s actually a terrible actor in all his other films, but you wouldn’t know it from this one, he’s fabulous.
MattF
Nowadays, I’m tending towards “Mitt Romney has no beliefs.” And, also, I’m thinking that he should announce this publicly– it would help him with the “Mormonism is a cult” crowd.
But the problem is that I can’t think of a word for it. It’s not a-theism, or a-gnosticism, since where belief would normally go he’s got a hole. So, I guess he should announce ‘I’m an a-hole’. Yeah, he should do that, definitely.
Kathy in St. Louis
You know, we don’t KNOW for sure that Mitt isn’t telling the truth. Perhaps when he and Obama were horseback riding together on their matching Missouri trotters, Obama let his devilish plan slip. Or when they were yachting, perhaps as the tacked to the right (really, I can’t imagine Romney tacking to the left), Obama just blurted out that he can’t wait for the election to be over so that he could start confiscating every firearm in the country. Yeah, that’s the ticket…that’s what happened.
dmsilev
I confess to being very impressed with the NRA’s logic: “The fact that Obama hasn’t done anything to take away your guns is *PROOF* that Obama is going to take away your guns.” It’s positively Glenn-Beckian, and gives me high hopes for the success of the spring line of Headware By Alcoa.
El Cid
The Natural Real Americans of course oppose Obama, because Kenyan soshullist anti-colonyallists took away the white farmers’ lands.
Richard
NRA types need their guns as a substitute for a penis.
Jennifer
I remember getting the “Obama wants to take away our guns” line from a guy when I was doing door-to-door canvassing back in 2010. I kind of did that cocked-head, quizzical dog look at him and said, “hmmmm…I’m not aware of any gun legislation that’s been passed, introduced or even proposed by the President or anyone else in his party. Are you?” Well, no, it turns out, but he just KNEW the president wanted to take his guns. “Ok, well, let’s suppose that it’s true, that the president really doesn’t like guns and wishes fewer people had them. As long as he isn’t doing anything to make that happen – and you agree with me that he isn’t – why are you more concerned with what you imagine he might like to do than you are with things that have actually happened or are happening?”
No answer. You can’t reach these people, because they aren’t rational. Doesn’t matter – the NRA is just an arm of the GOP and Mitt just wasted some time he could have spent elsewhere trying to convince non-crazy people to vote for him, because all those NRA types are in the bag already. And no, it has not all that much to do with guns – they own the guns because they fear black people, so their darkest nightmares have already come true, and there’s not a solitary thing you could ever say to convince them to not vote Republican.
dmsilev
This is impressive, in it’s own sick way: Ann Romney’s Birthday Party to Be Hosted by a Dude Arrested for Barbecuing a Dog
Can we talk about the Republican War on Dogs yet?
Amir Khalid
@Mickey:
I’m all curious: then what are you still doing here?
JCT
@suzanne: YES! This is something that has struck me since moving out here. I target shoot, but they are kept unloaded in a safe. When I first moved out I had to look on some shooting oriented forums to try to find good ranges, etc., and it was simply mind-boggling. Endless discussions on how many guns to carry, whether to carry a bullet in the chamber while walking around (!!), and, of course, parroting every single nonsensical claim about how Obama is coming for their guns ANY MINUTE NOW.
You would think that there was a gunfight everyday outside their homes.
My favorite are the discussions re: what to have packed in their magical “bug out bags (BOB)” — for when the govt comes for them and they have to run out the back door with their guns and food and live in the desert. They even have little pink BOBs for their daughters. The paranoia is amazing.
The best part is that the ammo and gun companies play these idiots for what they are and jack the prices up accordingly around the time of the election. And they’ll fall for it.
@Amir Khalid: You are correct. They want “constitutional carry” — permits = tyranny.
Davis X. Machina
@Amir Khalid: Abuse is a sort of attention, isn’t?
Jennifer
@dmsilev: See my previous post.
The NRA knows their membership and knows that the people who are the most rabidly pro-gun are pro-gun because they fear black people.
With a black man in the White House, they don’t have to even bother with trying to make sense. Because their members are mostly white people who own guns because they are afraid of black people and know that black people are out to get them. So of course a black president is going to try to disarm them, in order to make it easier for the Negro hordes to overpower them, take their stuff, and defile their wimmins. All the NRA has to do is just hint that Obama wants to take their guns; the membership fills in the rest of the blanks from the rich fantasies they’ve been nurturing for years about the need to arm yourself against the Coming Race War.
Suffern ACE
@suzanne: Small penises. Next question.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@dmsilev: Wayne LaPierre is one of a handful of wingers who really test my resistance to making Fristian psychological diagnoses (and at least Frist has an MD) of people I see on my TeeVee. Like Stephen Moore, Rick Santorum, Ann Coulter, Steve King, Michelle Bachmann…. I don’t know what ain’t right about that boy, but I know that boy ain’t right.
WereBear
@JCT: If a person loves guns, real life does not give much in the way of outlets for that. Bad action movies, good action movies, and conspiracy fantasy; that’s about it.
So yes, their lives are taken up with this mental masturbation about how they will have to “bug out” and live by their wits (a dim prospect.)
You’d think they’d just become Zombie Apocalypse fans; and yet, I have encountered little overlap.
Gex
The NRA believes in conceal and carry PLUS stand your ground laws. They also view every big shooting tragedy as a situation that would have been made better if more of the people involved had guns.
I wish we lived in a world where that was obviously insane to most everybody. But we don’t. And sadly, it almost kind of works for them, as I don’t want to be the only unarmed sucker on the block.
HelpThe99ers
@dmsilev: It’s even worse than that – not just a logic fail, but a memory fail, too:
source – NY Times, Feb. 23, 2010
Moar proof that the President is coming to take you(r guns) away.
Gex
@Amir Khalid: I hate it when people force me to spend my time and attention reading things I don’t want to read. The only way to deal with that is to dedicate even more time and effort into bitching about it.
trollhattan
@Amir Khalid:
Even they know stuff happens in steps. Their ultimate goal: permit required to not carry a gun*.
*Exception for the darker-hued.
Brachiator
I thought that McCain sold the last dregs of his integrity and personal honor in order to desperately pursue the presidency.
Then came Mitt, who doesn’t appear to have ever had any integrity to begin with.
suzanne
@JCT:
Because God forbid the coyotes and scorpions think the girls aren’t conforming to their marginalization.
Vomit.
dedc79
I’ve sworn off Drudge for the last 10 months. Never felt better
White Trash Liberal
@lacp:
“I don’t always change my opinion, but when I do, I will act like no one will notice.”
trollhattan
@Brachiator:
What has Willard ever done in his life to establish his presidential bona fides? Starting with a crapload of money and connections and turning it into a double-crapload of money doesn’t count.
Hothead McCain at least went and fought for his country while Willard and the pack-o-li’l Willards have done nothing of the sort. Makes community organizing seem quite noble, by comparison.
Hal
My fave Matt Drudge story:
http://gawker.com/5200009/drudge-i-do-not-love-sex-with-men
Which has this great revelation:
Another right wing, self loathing gay man who doesn’t deserve the time of day.
PeakVT
@suzanne: I’ve been home invaded twice
More proof that Sheriff Joe sucks ass (if you live in Maricopa Co., that is.)
Seriously, that’s a crazy number of times.
White Trash Liberal
“I don’t always listen to my wife, but when I do, it is because she assures me that women do not care about their freedom.”
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
@trollhattan:
then they can advocate for public guns. like commie bikes, you don’t even have to carry, guns are always in reach. the ultimate crime free society.
White Trash Liberal
“I don’t always pander to the base, but when I do, my lips are moving.”
Jennifer
@Hal: Drudge also put the move on David Brock back in the day, as related in Blinded by the Right.
You’d think he would have figured out that if the gay men don’t want him, the straight men are going to be even more of a stretch.
Hal
@Jennifer:
I remember that story, and they re-iterate it in the Gawker piece. Apparently Matt is not a queen to be messed with while on a date:
Brachiator
@trollhattan:
There ain’t no particular qualifications for being president, aside from being a natural born citizen of Kenya.
I don’t hold either Mitten’s money or connections against him. It is that he is a bully and a coward who runs from his own freakin’ record. That, and that he seems to be so shallow that he makes Dubya look like a philosopher king.
The funny thing is that Romney saw student protests in college, saw the general strike in France in 1968, but was somehow insulated himself from his father’s change of heart about Vietnam, and the Mormon church’s changes over membership of blacks.
Mitts just floated above it all. And now he expects to be able to come to earth and land into the Oval Office.
OzoneR
@suzanne:
They are fucking cowards
Amir Khalid
@WereBear:
Maybe these American gun fetishists see themselves as Chow Yuen Fatt in a John Woo movie, diving across the screen while firing a pistol in each hand.
gnomedad
A conservative is a liberal who’s been attacked by a turkey.
pk
I’m sure the rest of the writers on this site are crushed and sobbing into their tea cups.
Jewish Steel
@Amir Khalid: Interesting how the usual cavalcade of bellyachers and shit-stirrers steer clear of Ms Cracker.
I would too, she can really dish it up.
Nearly gagged on my lunch.
JCT
@WereBear:
OK — that gave me a good laugh. Totally and completely true.
Now, they do enjoy shooting targets with zombies on them and one of the ammo companies indulges these nitwits with “zombie ammo”.
It is beyond pathetic.
suzanne
@PeakVT: Once in Maricopa County in the heart of Russell Pearce land, and once in Pima County (Tucson). I figure I have used up my quota.
Sheriff Joe sucks SO BAD. One year for Christmas, my mom bought a pair of those stupid pink boxers and had him autograph them as a gift for my grandfather. I couldn’t have been older than eleven or twelve at the time, and I already thought he was a self-aggrandizing creep.
gnomedad
@JCT:
I find it really disturbing that we have a subculture that will be armed and disappointed when civilization fails to collapse.
GregB
The National Kill a Cop With a Rifle Associate.
It’s what they mean when they say they want to protect themselves from the government.
We just had one of those clowns pop off in NH. Someday, some police officer will realize they should leak the perps NRA memberships whenever they have these kind of killings.
Mickey
@Amir Khalid: You probably already know the answer but since the intelligence level around here never fails to underwhelm me…..
It’s so I can do this!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0GGCuB9g3kM/T2x94D0-pvI/AAAAAAAAADM/I7KainMlByk/s1600/ha!.png
Same reason I go to any other firebagger site. Same reason I go to right wingnut sites although they aren’t as much fun because it’s far too easy to laugh at them.
Amir Khalid
@Mickey:
Your link yields only a 404 error.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Amir Khalid: Because no one else on the internet would take him. It’s only the open door policy here that keeps him out of the cold.
trollhattan
@Marcellus Shale, Public Dick:
“In case of emergency, shoot glass.”
I see definite possibilities here.
trollhattan
@Brachiator:
Evidently he managed a long enough string of draft deferments to be in the lottery, then drew #300. Lucky Willard, lucky again.
His crass statement in the 2008 campaign that his sons were doing their patriotic duty by campaigning along with him was as nausea-inducing as anything he’s ever said.
MattF
Speaking of the NRA, this sort of thing:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/burns-haberman/2012/04/santorum-bella-is-now-an-nra-life-member-120479.html
is why Romney will never replace Santorum in the winger pantheon.
Amir Khalid
@trollhattan:
I guess that’s Mitt’s version of “l’etat, c’est moi”.
Joe
Kind of irrelevant, but why does Drudge think he wears a fedora? That’s a trilby.
Joe
Kind of irrelevant, but why does Drudge think he wears a fedora? That’s a trilby.
Southern Beale
Heard an interesting conversation on Media Matters Radio this a.m., wasn’t in the car long enough to hear the identity of the guest but I think it was a representative from Mayors For Sensible Gun Policy or some such … it was pointed out that guns are one of the few inventions that really are anti-capitalist in the sense that once you buy one, they’ll keep serving you in pretty much the same capacity for as long as you maintain it, pretty much forever. Putting aside the differences between a hunting rifle and a handgun, say, but pretty much if you bought a .45 30 years ago it’s still going to do the same thing today. So in order to keep gun sales humming they have to keep spreading the fear that someone is going to take them all away.
Don’t know how accurate that is but I found it an interesting notion. Especially when you realize that Wal-mart is one of the biggest supporters of these insane gun policies for the sole reason that they are the country’s largest gun retailer.
gogol's wife
@Joe:
I was wondering, because that didn’t look like a fedora to me, but I didn’t have the correct technical term. To be fair, I doubt that that is a direct quote from Drudge himself.
Lojasmo
@Mickey:
Get the fuck out, then. Betty has her own blog, I think.
Brachiator
@Amir Khalid:
Hey now. Chow Yuen Fat is one cool dude. And John Woo’s Hard Boiled is one bad ass two gun movie.
The current film The Raid: Redemption is like a John Woo film with knives and machetes. And Indonesian martial arts.
Maybe the movies can give the gun fetishers some new kicks.
Amir Khalid
@Southern Beale:
I’m pretty sure that in most countries you don’t get to buy guns at the supermarket. You certainly don’t here in Malaysia. Is America unique in this regard?
cursorial
I’d assumed in 2008 the “Romney has no core beliefs” line was standard political hyperbole, generalizing from a couple of cases – if he’s flip-flopped on issue X, how can you trust his position on issue Y.
After abortion, health care policy, immigration, and now gun rights, I’m genuinely curious. Is there a single issue that he has held a consistent position on over his political career? If someone were to ask him to point to a political stance that hasn’t “evolved” in a 180 degree fashion, what would he say?
I don’t think answer would make a bit of difference to the race, but it would be entertaining.
Mickey
@Lojasmo: Thank you for the very helpful advice. It never occurred to me that the internet is like someones kitchen that I came into uninvited.
I will have to think about it. This has really opened my eyes.
jnc
Does anyone think that Obama will NOT attempt to institute more restrictive gun laws during his second term than he did in his first?
I certainly think he will. I also think he will embrace gay marriage, have more aggressive enforcement of environmental law, and generally move to the left.
And, for what its worth, with the exception of the gun laws, I think all of this would be a good thing.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@jnc: given how congress is likely to shape up, I think gay marriage will have a better chance than more restrictive gun laws
jnc
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Yeah, esp. with the disproportionate number of democratic offices up this year. Just lousy luck.
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
gun laws are undeclarational!
KrisWV
“hand off the BIBLE???” Surely he will use a KORAN once he’s in the for 2nd term… in their paranoid fantasy anyway…
Nutella
@cursorial:
He has always been absolutely dedicated to the principle that Mitt Romney deserves to be president for the obvious reason that he’s Mitt Romney. Other than that ‘principle’, no.
SATSQ
Kathy in St. Louis
@HelpThe99ers: He’s just lulling people into a false sense of security with that Amtrak thing. I know in my heart that he just says that so that I will pack my gun in my suitcase, then the railroad will “lose” my suitcase. Yeah, sure, they “lost” it.
gocart mozart
@<a href="#comment-3185617"
Is there a single issue that he has held a consistent position on over his political career?
gocart mozart
I’m not sure why that became a link. I think it’s a rip in balloon juice/space/time. Click at your own risk.
Little Boots
eggs. I thought it was all about the eggs.
SenyorDave
Here’s my fantasy for gun control legislation that would be supported by the NRA:
The entire NRA executive board gets killed by a bunch semi-automatic-toting Balck Panthers in Florida who then successfully use SYG as a defense.
Accomplishes three things:
1. Gets some responsible gun laws
2. SYG laws would be overturned
3. NRA board dies
My dream scenario
nellcote
@KrisWV:
Since Roberts fucked it up the first time can The Prez request a different judge?
dww44
@suzanne: The only thing for sale by Republicans is fear and loathing and contempt. It’s about time it gets turned onto themselves.
Brutusettu
If Obama wins again, he is going to go ahead with his plan to move into your neighborhood, start a business, establish trust for 40 years, and then sneak off with Jerry’s shoes.
Another Halocene Human
@SenyorDave:
Winning. Please note they are “New Black Panthers” (original BP have denounced them) and this little stunt will most definitely get rid of them, too. Quatre dans un coup!
Jill
Given that the gun is a wingnut delusionary tool to allow them to think they are not pencil-dicks, you have to wonder how their traditional obsession with the African-American phallus plays into this paranoia about Obama “taking their guns”.
McJulie
@WereBear: I’ve found the zombie apocalypse works pretty well as a topic change if you have friends and family in NRA-world. It allows us to have a fun, civilized conversation.