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You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / Lindsey Graham's Fee Fees / Closet Case Chronicles

Closet Case Chronicles

by $8 blue check mistermix|  April 26, 20129:46 am| 28 Comments

This post is in: Lindsey Graham's Fee Fees

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Res ipsa loquitur.

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Next Post: Shaking the Etch a Sketch »

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28Comments

  1. 1.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    April 26, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Yeah, I’d be willing to work a job where I get to tell all my family and friends that I have to submit to a bedcheck at 3am.

    Of course, we all know that this isn’t a serious proposal, it’s just one of Senator Closet’s fantasies.

  2. 2.

    4tehlulz

    April 26, 2012 at 9:53 am

    He’s pissed that Columbian hookers are moving in on his turf.

  3. 3.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    April 26, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Only if we get to do the same for Congressmen.

  4. 4.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 26, 2012 at 9:58 am

    and in other news breaking from sad bitter hacks

    John McCain
    ✔
    @SenJohnMcCain
    Heading to the floor at 10:30am ET to discuss ludicrous, partisan, imaginary “war on women.” Watch live: c-span.org/Live-Video/C-S…

    I predict many asshole “finger quotes” and enough footage of bitter crankitiude to revive this issue

  5. 5.

    Silver

    April 26, 2012 at 10:03 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    If the cunts wouldn’t plaster on makeup like trollops…

  6. 6.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    April 26, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I bet Lindsey would be willing to fight for the pole position on that job. ;)

  7. 7.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 26, 2012 at 10:07 am

    No doubt Lindsey Graham would love to hike up gramma’s gingham dress he loves to wear and turn those naughty secret service agents over his knee for a good bare-bottom spanking.

  8. 8.

    c u n d gulag

    April 26, 2012 at 10:09 am

    And personally have the men’s private parts inspected by a Senator.

    Maybe, even one from SC, who’ll consider this a ‘call to duty.’

  9. 9.

    amk

    April 26, 2012 at 10:10 am

    @4tehlulz: LOL. FTW. (blog eated my earlier LOL. FTW).

  10. 10.

    the Conster

    April 26, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Republicans are the most un-self aware people who ever existed. At least Santorum was aware he had teh Google problem – has Lindsay Graham ever googled himself? I guess if he had any shred of a clue how ridiculous he was, he wouldn’t be a Republican. They’re all clinical and should be locked up.

  11. 11.

    deep

    April 26, 2012 at 10:23 am

    ewwwww

  12. 12.

    Skerry

    April 26, 2012 at 10:27 am

    @Silver:

    Did you really need to use this level of profanity to get your point across?

  13. 13.

    Linda Featheringill

    April 26, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Oh dear. Like the bedchecks would make things better.

    I do have some concerns, though, that the pack of security folks who went to Cartegena put themselves at risk. If they had run into bad guys, they would have had no defense against infiltration, information extraction, or outright physical harm. Apparently, we need some adults in that unit.

  14. 14.

    Steve in DC

    April 26, 2012 at 10:39 am

    This is really making a mountain out of a molehill. Whoring it up is a feature in American foreign service jobs. It’s used as a recruiting point in many of them. And the best places to get duty or travel to are the ones with hot and legal prostitution, great party scenes, or tons of drunk and easy targets. Government agencies make no effort to deny that this is the case. In fact your superiors pretty much tell you “oh yeah, this place is nuts”. Heck in the Navy if you didn’t score tail in every country you stopped in something was wrong with you.

    Graham was in the military so he should know the deal. The pay sucks, your civilian bosses are always morons, but nothing is better than a 5 buck Thai hooker and 1 buck drinks all day every day.

  15. 15.

    Felinious Wench

    April 26, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Lindsey, this is very simple. You have a monitor put tape on the outside of the door, between the door and the frame, over the crack. If the tape is broken in the morning, someone snuck out. You may then feel free to shoot them for violating curfew.

    Duh.

  16. 16.

    Ronzoni Rigatoni

    April 26, 2012 at 11:02 am

    @Steve in DC: Well, I did a stint in Moslem Albania as part of the UN oil embargo against Serbia back in the day, and YESSSSS! Even the Dip Passport didn’t stop us. I think it was Cronkite who, watching the insanity after the liberation of Paris, said “If a guy can’t get laid down there today, he’s not a man.”

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    April 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

    @Steve in DC:

    Apparently part of the pre-briefing was supposed to include, “Guys, always pay your hoooker.” If the idiot had just paid up at the agreed price instead of trying to short-change her, there would have been no scandal and no one ever would have known.

    But, no, he had to be an asshole and try to underpay what he promised so she rightfully got the cops involved. How stupid do you have to be not to realize that if you agree to get a legal service at a specific price, you have to pay the agreed-on price? Christ.

  18. 18.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 26, 2012 at 11:05 am

    “If they won’t fuck, they won’t fight”

    Of course, in Lindsay’s case, it’s his bunkmate, not some hooker.

    What a vile sack of shit he is.

  19. 19.

    Mnemosyne

    April 26, 2012 at 11:05 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    IIRC, during the 2008 debates there was a controversy because McCain scoffed at the idea that a woman would ever need an abortion because of her “health” (yes, he used the scarequotes). I won’t be surprised if he makes an asshole of himself yet again over this whole issue.

  20. 20.

    Bob Smith

    April 26, 2012 at 11:14 am

    There is an old lawyer’s joke about a new secretary misunderstading the phrase res ipsa loquitur on the dictaphone as

    Raise the hips and lock the door.

    Which actually works well for this post.

  21. 21.

    gocart mozart

    April 26, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Well, that goes without saying ;)

  22. 22.

    aimai

    April 26, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    Is this the “Three AM phone call” that Clinton’s campaign was talking about? Isn’t this something President Obama should be handling?

    aimai

  23. 23.

    Brachiator

    April 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    @Steve in DC:

    And the best places to get duty or travel to are the ones with hot and legal prostitution, great party scenes, or tons of drunk and easy targets.

    While this does adequately describe Washington D.C. from the perspective of many elected officials, staff, pundits and journalists, I’m not sure that it really supports your point that this is a molehill, not a mountain.

    In any event, if a Secret Service agent cannot exercise discretion and better judgement during a frickin’ presidential visit, I can’t offer much in the way of pity or understanding.

  24. 24.

    Tom Betz

    April 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    @Linda Featheringill: Secret Service Presidential away details have a long culture and history of making drinky sexy funtime before big Presidential events. JFK’s detail partied ’til dawn at an “underwear bar” in Dallas the night before his assassination: http://bit.ly/JojNl2

    This exemplifies a common problem (and a BIG problem) with Praetorian Guards throughout history. Do you expect the President to gainsay the people who hold his life in their hands every minute of every day?

  25. 25.

    Jay in Oregon

    April 26, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    @Skerry:
    He’s paraphrasing McCain.

    http://rawstory.com/news/2008/McCain_temper_boiled_over_in_92_0407.html

  26. 26.

    Nemesis

    April 26, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    One wonders what information a 3 am bed check of L Graham might turn up.

  27. 27.

    Silver

    April 26, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    @Skerry:

    Take it up with the war hero, not me.

  28. 28.

    Tim O

    April 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Take it Easy! I got comments dumped because of “Swish-boating” here before.

    I thought it was BS, but I guess those are the rules.

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