Mitt Romney is the most tone-deaf motherfucker to ever run for president. HANDS DOWN.
This afternoon at an event in Ohio — which students apparently were forced to attend, if the gentleman falling asleep in the front row is any indication — Mitt Romney yammered on about class warfare, and how President Obama is always attacking success, and why don’t kids today have the bootstrapitude it takes to up and start a multimillion dollar sandwich chain like Romney’s good friend Jimmy John did by borrowing $20K from the parental units.
Right. Because so many students have parents with an extra $20K just lying around for their kids’ fledgling business ventures. Is this guy for real?
Oh, and by the way? Guess what chain of restaurants got smacked down by the NLRB for threatening and firing workers for engaging in union activities?
That’s right! Good ol’ Jimmy Johns:
[read the rest at TRS-ABLC]
Gwangung
Yeahhhhhh….
I don’t think he knows how financial aid works.
Or how far $20 K goes these days.
ericblair
What, Mr. Nothing-Oh-Just-$350K figured that 20 large was just some pocket change that you can toss at your kid for whatever lemonade stand he’s yammering on about? Shocking. This guy is going to provide daily amusement for another six months, folks.
Calouste
You know how millionaires say that on the path to success, the first million is the hardest? Romney solution to that was to get the first million from his parents, and that is what he is suggesting to everyone else as well.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Oh man, the expressions on the audiences’ faces. It’s not just Mitt is out of touch, his whole campaign staff is a bunch of soulless drones. Getting an enthusiastic audience for the camera optic is like basic politics.
Paula
Fuck this rich fucker. Where the hell does he get off … asfghrrh%&*^@uh3jkh9**(&*(&!!!!!.
But you know, whatever, I guess it doesn’t matter if American kids earn degrees as long as the jobs they need degrees for end up getting shipped to some place where companies don’t have to follow labor laws.
Unabogie
Look, I bet you $10,000 that all of our parents have $20,000 lying around.
Wait, let me get the car up onto the elevator and we can continue this discussion.
Oh, after I get the car up, I need to put the dog on the car.
Then we’ll talk, ok ABL?
trollhattan
Well, Ahnold never drew his Gal-ee-vor-nee-ya salary and I’ll bet Willard would do likewise with the presidential salary and do just as well at the job.
So there’s that.
r€nato
how many times is this idiot going to make me palm my face, before I hurt myself?
cathyx
We should start making a list of all of his out-of-touchisms.
jl
People are being unfair to the new ‘cool’ Mitt, and maybe a little skeered that he is connecting with the kids in way that old fuddy duddy grair hair Nobama can never do.
There are ways. For example, a kid could bet his/her old man, oh, let’s say, ten thousand dollars, on the Superbowl.
Win that four years in a row, and you got your two years at community college, with some left over for the transfer to the four year.. if you can still transfer.
So, look people, you have to have initiative, and git er done.
Freedom isn’t free, you know.
Corner Store Operator
I feel like Henry Rollins’ “Letter to a Young Person” is relevant here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNgrxgmcwck
r€nato
I almost feel sorry for Mitt. Almost.
Obama/Biden is going to cut him into little pieces.
r€nato
I almost feel sorry for Mitt. Almost.
Obama/Biden is going to cut him into little pieces.
Egg Berry
The owner of Jimmy Johns is another glibertarian asshole like the one who owns Whole Foods.
General Stuck
I used to send dispatches home to ma and pa when in college and short of beer money. I always hoped for 20K, but if I was lucky, maybe got 20 bucks and a we love you.
You can’t polish a silver spoon and expect no one to notice in the soup lines.
Measles Montgomery
Yeah, keep sending up that Jimmy John balloon, Mitt. The guy who threatens to pull his company out of east central IL and move to FL because the taxes are so much easier on the old wallet. I haven’t eaten a sandwich since.
Fuckers, both of ’em.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Maybe Rmoney wants young adults to be angry with their parents for being failures and not giving them $20 grand like all the other families in America do for their kids.
Rmoney is playing the political xylophone with a jackhammer.
Teddy's Person
Mittastrophe is right. This guy and his wife say something outrageously tone deaf every time they open their mouths. But what baffles me is that they don’t seem able to stop themselves from spewing stupid shit. For a guy and a party spending millions, they should be able to hire someone to help bottle up that noise rather than constantly cleaning up the mess.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s wildly entertaining. But at what point do we max out on the stupid??
cathyx
And another out-of-touchism, he thinks you can pay for college with $20,000.
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
And what the hell is this shit with “Oh, I’ve never seen anybody knocking rich people before! This is a whole new thing in American history! Oh, the humanity!” What the hell, this guy never heard any of the things Franklin Delano Roosevelt said? He never heard anything Theodore Roosevelt said? Americans don’t have anything against rich people, not as a rule. It’s rich assholes that piss people off, rich assholes who exploit people or don’t seem to feel like they’re bound by the rules, laws and standards that most of us heve to abide by. This guy is such an asshole. A rich asshole, no less.
trollhattan
@r€nato:
I’ve been wondering what “debate” format Willard is going to demand/agree to? Will he just pull a Sarah and decline to answer thoes pesky “gotcha” questions and state talking points for an hour?
Admittedly, he looked really good against Perry. Perhaps he can arrange for the president to become hooked on oxy.
Teddy's Person
@cathyx: out-of-touchisms – I love that phrase!!
Irving
Guh….
Romney’s a really, really bad politician. I mean, he’s just *bad*. If you’re willing to acknowledge that getting elected is a skill, it is a skill he does not have. At all. Dwahah? Snu? How the heck did he become the nominee again?
Southern Beale
He’s a parody, right? This isn’t a real campaign, RIGHT?
We aren’t actually, seriously worried about losing to this idiot RIGHT?!
dmsilev
Well, even if the parents don’t happen to have that much in liquid assets handy, they can always take out a second mortgage on the ski chalet outside of Aspen or perhaps open a HELOC on their place down in St. Kitts, and that should be fine to bankroll Junior. Worst case scenario, they could sell off some of their stock portfolio.
No problem.
beltane
@r€nato: Don’t feel sorry for him. When he makes comments like this he exposes himself as the f*cking asshole he is. People this clueless have no business running for anything but president of a yacht club.
trollhattan
@Teddy’s Person:
See Whitman, Meg. She never did figure out how to campaign, even after throwing over a hundred mil at it.
cathyx
You need to ask for $20,000 per year. That’s all it will get you.
Litlebritdifrnt
At this point I think that the Obama campaign can just put this quote and Anne’s “I just love the fact that women don’t have a choice they have to work” quote and run it on an endless loop on every tv station in the nation.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@General Stuck:
Rmoney was born with a gold spoon in his mouth…
and tin ears on his robot head.
jl
Ha, you fools! Did you not notice the enthusiastically respectful, very thoughtful silence with which the students listened to Romney?
Contrast that with the hoots of laughter at the oldster Biden the other day!
Mitt is winning them over. Youth Vote = Rmoney!
(trolls seem to have disappeared, maybe end of the month and they have punched out until next check comes, anyway, thought I would throw something out there in their absence. Sorry, not as hilarious, but best I can do right now)
Litlebritdifrnt
@beltane:
I am so stealing that.
Calouste
@Teddy’s Person:
They did hire someone, to help him in the debates, and sacked that person when his name was mentioned as being responsible for improving Mitt’s performance. So it’s unlikely that they are going to hire someone to stop Mitt’s gaffes, because that would be admitting that they are doing something wrong, and unless that is hammered into them by an external event, that is just not going to happen. I doubt Romney is going to do a turn around like McCain attempted with Palin, because Romney will just rely on Rasmussen polls to tell him that he is really close to Obama, until he finds out like Nate Silver did four years ago that Rasmussen makes shit up until 3 weeks before the election, and then starts reporting actual polls.
Nylund
Romney’s plan seems to be:
1. Go to school and pay for it with the stock portfolio your parents gave you.
2. After school, borrow $20k from your parents and start a business.
Or, to put it more succinctly, Romney’s advice is, “Be born to rich parents.”
What’s his plan for young women to avoid unwanted pregnancies? Be born a man?
Egg Berry
@jl: not enough VICTORY!
JPL
I can’t wait until Joe is on the campaign trail spouting that line. Thank you Mitt.
Teddy's Person
@cathyx: Here’s one from Ann
Ann Romney, at the Connecticut Republican Party’s Prescott Bush Awards Dinner
Warren Terra
Per Wikipedia and contra Mitt, the loan was $25K, not $20K. Some internet inflation calculator says that 25,000 1983 dollars is something like 54,000 2010 dollars – let’s call it $55K today.
My half-assed attempts to determine the median net worth weren’t very successful; a 2007 figure claimed the median was $120K, which seemed remotely plausible (including homes and retirement savings) but preceded the crash.
ETA Nylund, above, makes the excellent point that this only makes any sense for people who aren’t already weighed down by massive student debt. Which means either they’ve skipped college (in which case good luck getting taken seriously with their start-up by banks and such, even with a little borrowed capital) or they were probably fairly wealthy anyway.
JPL
@Teddy’s Person: but..but..Hilary Rosen didn’t value my work as a stay at home mom..
cathyx
Come on mom and dad, get a second mortgage. No, we owe more on our house than it’s worth. We can’t get one.
Raid the pension fund then. We can’t, the company did away with our pensions when they outsourced our jobs overseas. Unemployment doesn’t pay a pension.
Kill off grandma then and get the inheritance. No, the nursing home gets everything she has when she dies.
Litlebritdifrnt
Ha Ha According to my twitter feed “then Romney began trashing the Stimulus & the college he was speaking at was a recipient of the stimulus!”
Face Palm.
Just Some Fuckhead
OMG, I’m going to be some kinda conflicted next time I try to order a #9, no mayo, add pep.
That really sucks.
beltane
Here is a picture of Mitt Romney as he appeared in Star Trek: Next Generation http://trialx.com/curetalk/wp-content/blogs.dir/7/files/2011/04/gcelebrities/Norman_Large-2.jpg
Scott
Man, I’m just amazed how damn stupid Romney is. And everyone keeps insisting he’s smart. You just can’t make so many monstrously stupid mistakes and not be dumb as a stump.
FlipYrWhig
@beltane: Romney = Judge Smails from _Caddyshack_.
Teddy's Person
@Calouste: I did not know the bit about the debate performance helper (kinda like a verbal Via gra). Thanks for that info. I guess Mitt’s just a narcissist who thinks he’ll win just because he’s Mitt. Good luck with that.
FlipYrWhig
@Scott: This isn’t a mistake, it’s deliberate. This is genuinely how he thinks. He views the world from the perspective of someone who has always had a cushion of cash and has no earthly way of empathizing with, or even just comprehending, other people who don’t have that.
Keith
$20k to start a business? You can’t even update a shitty right-wing website for that much. Ask for at least $25k.
jl
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
You could run a whole campaign theme with pairing quotes from Theodore Roosevelt and Mitt
Teddy: I quote from the Progressive platform: “Behind the ostensible Government sits enthroned an invisible Government, owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people. To destroy this invisible Government, to dissolve the unholy alliance between corrupt business and corrupt politics is the first task of the statesmanship of the day….. This country belongs to the people. Its resources, its business, its laws, its institutions, should be utilized, maintained, or altered in whatever manner will best promote the general interest.” This assertion is explicit. We say directly that “the people” are absolutely to control in any way they see fit, the “business” of the country.
Mitt: I’ve made a lot of money.
Irving
…we have six months more of this to get through, folks. I’m gonna need more bourbon. A LOT more.
4tehlulz
When will Mitt openly wonder why no one will rid him of this troublesome president?
I say mid-July.
Litlebritdifrnt
@FlipYrWhig:
The next person who is allowed to ask a question should ask him “have you ever had to roll pennies in order to put gas in the car to get to work like a lot of Americans?”
I am guessing his answer would be “what are pennies?”
magurakurin
@FlipYrWhig:
“Do you get a free bowl of soup with this hat? Oh, but it looks good on you though.”
hieropants
FINANCIAL AID IS ALREADY BASED ON EXPECTED PARENTAL CONTRIBUTION YOU ASSHOLE DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A FAFSA IS
I mean, thank Christ I was born to upper-middle-class parents who paid for 3 years of college so I only had about $20,000 in debt by the end of it.
When she went to college, my mother’s expected parental contribution was $100 (that she knew her mother couldn’t actually pay) so she got a job to help cover the rest of it, which luckily for her was back in the days when minimum wage was enough to cover college expenses.
I knew this guy was pretty removed from reality, but I didn’t realize by just how much.
beltane
@Teddy’s Person: Here, let me translate for her:
Spaghetti Lee
And if that doesn’t work, you can always hire a hedge fund manager to reinvigorate your stock portfolio or sell some of your real estate investments!
As for JJ’s, I don’t know if this is just my campus or not, but it’s insane how ubiquitous they are around here. It’s the default option for kids who need a 2:00 AM snack after a night of boozing. They also have a deal with the city bus system to plaster slogans all over the side. Money well spent, I’m sure.
@FlipYrWhig:
Does that mean Obama is Rodney Daingerfield?
FlipYrWhig
@Litlebritdifrnt: “No, but back at home we had a game where we would take hundreds and fold them into origami cranes.”
jl
TR: To whom much has been given, from him much is rightfully expected, and a heavy burden of responsibility rests upon the man of means to justify by his actions the social conditions which have rendered it possible for him or his forefathers to accumulate and to keep the property he enjoys. He is not to be excused if he does not render full measure of service to the State and the community at large.
Mitt: I’ve paid every dime in taxes I owe, and not a dime more (wild teabagger applause)
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
By the time November comes and goes, I think we can look forward to a picture of Mitt’s mug accompanying dictionary entries for “tin ear.”
In the meantime, lots of popcorn, please.
Spaghetti Lee
@jl:
That would actually be a pretty clever ad campaign. Show quotes like that from TR, Eisenhower, Lincoln, and then Romney on the other side of the picture with “I’m running for office for Pete’s sake!” and “I’ll bet you $10,000.” Of course I don’t think it would work per se, as most Americans have no sense of history and the media has a sense of history firmly lodged in 1968.
delphi_ote
The owner of Jimmy John’s is a flaming asshole tea bagger. He was interviewed on the local radio station here when Illinois raised its state taxes threatening the us that he would go Galt. Nothing like a grown man publicly threatening a small town to take his ball and go home because he didn’t get his way.
Don’t give him a dime of your money.
FlipYrWhig
@Spaghetti Lee: I don’t think Obama is that boisterous. OTOH, there sure are plenty of people who’d rather not see him gain membership to their club.
Calouste
Btw, does anyone think that if Jimmy John’s sandwich store hadn’t worked out that he would have spend the rest of his days working at Walmart, paying back the bank that $25,000 at a rate of $50 per paycheck? Or do you think that his dad would have coughed up another $25k to try again or the money needed to get the college degree needed to park him in a sinecure at one of his dad’s friends’ companies?
Teddy's Person
@beltane: She added triumphantly, “Let them eat cake!”
Litlebritdifrnt
@FlipYrWhig:
Ha Ha I love that!
steveo
He was not talking about a student loan, he was talking about how obama is trying to destroy the American way of starting a business and becoming successful! So what if he said to borrow $20k from your parents. It means the same to say to just start something and don’t be ashamed of being successful, cuz Obummer won’t like it one bit!
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
So I’m watching Ed Schultz, and he’s running a clip of John Böehner going on about some bullshit, and damn, does he sound drunk. I’ve always heard about him being a drunk, but I never could quite believe that a drunk could hold a job like that. But damned if he doesn’t sound drunk in that clip.
beltane
@Calouste: That’s right. If you can afford to loan your kids money, you can afford to give your kids money. R-Money is like some incredibly crude piece of Marxist propaganda designed to incite hatred towards rich people.
Litlebritdifrnt
Ed Schultz is all over Mitt’s comment tonight. It is great.
jl
@FlipYrWhig:
you refer to “Does that mean Obama is Rodney Dangerfield?”
I agree. Obama will be cool calm collected, informed and ready.
But, I hope this time the Obama team has a ‘Release the Biden’ button ready to use for the campaign.
The ex working class wise guy, as gaffe prone as he can be, will be great against the Mittster.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
That is the first thing I thought, that guy is drunk as a skunk.
decitect
@Measles Montgomery: JJ’s is gourmet sammiches on French bread… and Mittasptrophe R-Money’s friend, for Pete’s sake!!!!!!
Skerry
I’m still upset that my parents didn’t set up a $100 million trust fund for me and my brothers.
Brian
I think many whites and middle class have a disconnect from what its like to live at the lower end of the spectrum. These are the people that cannot fathom someone not having a drivers license or bank account… it just can’t happen.
cathyx
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): He’s not drunk, just emotional.
Smiling Mortician
Holy fuck but Mitt Romney is a flaming idiot. Every time I read about him saying something like this (which is pretty much every day), I see/hear that horrible, squeaky, smarmy laugh that he has. You know, the one with zero humor but boatloads of discomfort attached? The one where he’s accessing all channels to try to find the right algorithm for human mirth but can’t quite pull it off? You know the one I’m talking bout. I tried to find a YouTube of it, but I’m secretly grateful I couldn’t.
MikeJ
@Irving:
I’ve been sick all week because of flying germ tubes. It’s hard to drink enough to put up with Republicans when you’re already ill.
Anya
@Scott: He’s not stupid, he’s privileged and uncurious about anything beyond his privilege class. I have plenty of relatives like that. They’re very nice but blinded by their privilege. But at least they believe in giving back and paying higher taxes.
Litlebritdifrnt
@jl:
I have to disagree, Biden isn’t the ex-working class white guy, he still is the working class white guy. He has not made millions while in office, he still rode the train every morning to get to work. He was famous for it. Yes he is making a nice living as VP, but he is hardly the millionaire that the rest of congress and the senate are.
And I love the term “release the Biden” he is going to absolutely excoriate Romney come the fall.
Omnes Omnibus
@MikeJ:
I have faith in your ability. You can do it. Just believe in yourself.
r€nato
@Smiling Mortician:
LOL dude
he’s like Cmdr. Data trying to mimic human emotions.
Mickey
#BorrowMoneyFromYourParents and #RomneyRestaurantOwners were both top trending hashtags on twitter today.
FlipYrWhig
@jl: Biden is much more _Caddyshack_ Dangerfield than Obama can even hope to be. But that’s as it should be IMHO.
Anya
@Smiling Mortician:
You mean this laugh?
The Other Chuck
20 grand? That’s just two RomneyBets™
Jilli
I tried watching Romneys lecture at Otterbein (????), but I could only take so much – I’d rather jab rusty nails into my ears than listen to one more minute of romneys dripping cynicism and “elitist” condescension.
Mnemosyne
@Spaghetti Lee:
My parents live in a hoity-toity suburb of Phoenix (Fountain Hills, to be exact) and they have statues of Great Republicans in the park by the fountain.
The two they chose? Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt.
@jl:
If there’s not an official one, I’m sure you’ll be able to find one on cafepress or Etsy.
I love me some Crazy Uncle Joe. All of us with Irish-American relatives recognize him. He’s the uncle who brings up that subject at the Thanksgiving table that you weren’t supposed to say but that everyone was already thinking. He’s the one who will point and say, “Why the hell do you have an elephant in your living room?”
Xecky Gilchrist
@Egg Berry: The owner of Jimmy Johns is another glibertarian asshole like the one who owns Whole Foods.
I’d wondered. Their whole corporate persona/schtick seems to be “douchebag,” and I never go to places like that. Looks like there’s a reason for both.
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
Since we’re going on about Rmoney, here’s something I’ve wondered about for a while now: Why the hell is Rmoney running for president? I know why Santorum was running; I know why Ron Paul and Bachmann and Gingrich were running. What, exactly, is Rmoney running to do? Why does he want to be president?
Here’s a guy who could spend a million dollars a day for the rest of his life and still hand over a boatload of money to all his children when he dies. He can do anything he wants. If he wants to build himself a replica of the Taj Mahal to live in, he can do that. Why would he want to be president? I really don’t understand.
And here’s something else: He’s such a control freak. I mean, here’s a guy who doesn’t like being questioned; he doesn’t like not being in charge. There’s a reason he said he likes firing people: He likes being the boss, he likes being able to make people bend to his will. And you can tell he’s anal. he’s a guy who likes things just so. I bet he’s the kind of guy who gets unreasonable when he sits down to eat and the forks are in the wrong order. That’s why he won’t talk to anybody in the press but Sean Hannity. He has his plan, it’s the right plan, it’s always the right plan, and damn it all, he’s going to follow that plan right down the line, because it’s his plan, thank you very much, and everybody else had damned well better fall in line or there’s going to be hell to pay.
And the thing is, he can live his happy little anal life right now, shoving everybody else he meets around, getting his way. Why on Earth would anybody like that want a job like the presidency? It’s true, the president has a whole lot of power, and can hire and fire all kinds of people on a whim, but, shit, is there any job any more filled with uncertaincy than the presidency? If you can’t bend, if you can’t change course or change your mind on a dime, then you’re fucked.
You don’t get to tell the world economy not to fall into the toilet. You don’t get to tell India and Pakistan not to blow up nuclear test bombs. Shit happens and you deal with it. And Rmoney just doesn’t have the temperament to do that. (I think that was one of Bush’s real weaknesses, by the way, so we’ve seen how well control freaks do in the presidency.)
So, seriously, what the hell is Rmoney doing this for? He doesn’t like people; he doesn’t like helping people; he doesn’t like not being in control. I can’t understand, I really can’t, why he even wants this job.
jl
@Litlebritdifrnt:
You are correct. I think Obama noticed that. I think what Obama said to him was “so, you’ve been here all this time and your not rich?” Which I assume Obama meant in a good way.
Also, another good TR quote, which from what I see in the wikiquote entry was something he said a lot would be
TR: Our interests are at bottom common; in the long run we go up or go down together.
Obama: we go up or down together (or whatever the exact quote is)
Mitt: (paste in some class war accusation boilerplate here)
Ok, no more of that. I am not a Theodore Roosevelt fanatic, but would be nice to see an ad campaign like that. And commenter above was correct, you could put Lincoln, Grant, TR, Eisenhower etc quotes up with Obama and Mitt quotes all day and see who looks good, or not.
Jamey
Not clicking over. Period. Prolly my loss, but that’s how I roll.
MikeJ
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
Two reasons. 1) Ever popular with republicans, daddy issues. 2) He’s been told it;s his destiny to be the first mormon president. He believes it. It’s not about doing what he wants, it’s what he’s supposed to do.
#2 may just be a particular instance of #1 though.
lamh35
This is why Obama has such a large advantage among women voters right now.
Obama on Ledbetter Act: I Won’t Have To ‘Get Back To You’
Hill Dweller
@Mnemosyne: Biden absolutely destroyed Romney with his foreign policy speech yesterday. Unfortunately, the media largely ignored it.
That said, I suspect the Obama campaign will be hitting those same themes(and they are devastating) throughout the campaign.
Jamey
@Litlebritdifrnt: Either that or, “I have a lot of friends who own banks that roll pennies.”
lamh35
Could R-Money speak on women’s issues with as much passion as this?
President Obama at the Women’s Leadership Forum
FlipYrWhig
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): He just wants to hear people say “President Romney.” He gets off on deference.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
I hear Rmoney has a servant who uses a crowbar to pry the couch cushions from his ass whenever he stands up.
Jamey
@Nylund:
It’s always worked for me…
Jewish Steel
@beltane: We just saw that episode a few months back and thought the same thing!
syphonblue
Jimmy Johns noooooooooooooooooooooo :(
bemused
@Anya:
That’s excruciating. If only every Republican could be forced to listen to this every day 24/7 until the election.
Teddy's Person
OT: Pete Hoekstra lost big on his “DebbieSpendItNow” Michigan Senate campaign advertisement that aired on Super Bowl Sunday. Remember, the ad with an Asian actress speaking broken English biking through what appeared to be rice paddies bitching about China. The add cost more than $200,000, and federal records show he received only $22, 912 in the days following the commercial. It’s good to see there’s a little karmic justice in the world and hope that racism might have diminishing returns.
lamh35
@lamh35:
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
@FlipYrWhig:
Yes, a lot of it seems to be that. It just seems to me, though, that he could get all the deference he could ever ask for just being a guy with five hundred million dollars, or whatever it is that he has. He has so fucking much money that he could just pay people to call him “President Rmoney” for the rest of his life. He could go the rest of his life living the fantasy without ever having to put up with any of the shit of being president for real.
FlipYrWhig
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): Haha, too true. Pay me enough and I’ll call _you_ President Slapp every day for four years.
Alison
Mitt Romney is showing his awareness of pop culture by telling us all to be Hannah Horvath!
MITT GETS THE KIDS, YO.
Sheesh, what a numbskull.
Mickey
lol…
THE YOUTH VOTE: Romney v. Obama
https://twitter.com/#!/thinkprogress/status/196028939301433345/photo/1
the fugitive uterus
the only plausible explanation is that republicans don’t really want to win the presidency this time, for reasons that should be obvious to most of us
rikyrah
I thought it was a joke headline.
but, he actually said it.
unfuckingbelievable.
kay
Is this considered a success so far?
It seems reactive. First he got roped into talking aboutcwomen, not good for him, then taxes and fairness, not good either, and now he’s on students and debt.
It’s like he waits for Obama’s topic of the week and plans his campaign around it. He’s getting faster, he’s 2 days behind instead of 2 weeks, but why is he doing a series of rebuttals?
Should’nt he be setting off on his own campaign at some point?
FlipYrWhig
@kay: That’ll be a fun week. “I’m rich and Democrats are just jealous. Vote for me and help me stop Democrats from taking away my, I mean our, wealth!”
Joseph Nobles
@r€nato: You’d think the campaign would go ahead and install the emotion chip so any bugs could get worked out.
Ha! The sudden wave of remorse and guilt would likely shut down the positronic brain. WYSIWYG.
Hill Dweller
@kay: They call it “bracketing”. But following Obama just illustrates Willard’s lack of charisma and political ineptitude.
Anya
@bemused: I know. I always wonder how everyone cannot see Romney as an insincere out of touch asshole. He’s the guy who scammed your grandparents out of their saving and not someone you would trust the fate of the nation with.
harlana
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): having been asking myself the same thing for the same reasons. the only thing i can come up with is that he and the church believe that God wants him to be president. they are Mormons. i’m just saying.
David Koch
This is great news for Romney
/Village’d
FlipYrWhig
@Anya: Everyone DOES see him as that. But a large portion of the electorate hates Obama so much that they will grudgingly vote for the aloof nose-in-the-air tycoon anyway.
Raven
@FlipYrWhig: %27
bemused
@FlipYrWhig:
And for the well-off, more tax cuts trump everything else while the lucky ducky rightwingers living paycheck to paycheck still believe someday the GOP will make them fabulously wealthy.
kay
@Hill Dweller:
Well, it’s what he did in the primary.
He followed. I don’t know that he can do that here, because it isn’t a primary. Obama’s going to take him to issues Democrats are stronger on.
He’s oddly risk averse. He never goes first.
MikeJ
@kay: What’s funny is that Obama is also generally a counterpuncher. Obama is actually good at it though. When Romney replies he still fucks it up.
Smiling Mortician
@Anya: Ow, ow, fuckity ow.
gnomedad
@Southern Beale:
In a sane country, no. Unfortunately …
Irving
Where the bleep is all that UNLIMITED CORPORATE CASH? These are McCain’s mistakes. The same lousy optics. Still letting Obama set the agenda. Still unforced errors. There isn’t enough money to hire a competent team?
GxB
Don’t live near a Jimmy Johns anymore but I recall they made a hell of a sammy – shit. Anyhoo, it doesn’t matter how many out-of-touch, brain damaged and outright assholish statements this douche says, he’s got a lock on ~45% of the votes (and I pray not one vote more.) There’s that absolute crazy base 27% but then there’s another ~20% that I’d really like to see a large scale demographic breakdown of. Living in America today is as fascinating as it is terrifying.
JCT
@kay: The cowardice runs deep in the old Mittster.
Besides, to run his “own” campaign he should at least have an original idea. Haven’t heard one yet….
Villago Delenda Est
Good lord, doesn’t this walking gaffe machine have handlers or competent operators?
PeakVT
@Irving: Sure there’s enough money. Romney is just a gawdawful candidate who doesn’t know what a competent political team looks like.
kay
@MikeJ:
It makes some sense.
With the not-Romneys gone, we’re left with Romney, and there is no “Romney”, really, so Romney becomes not-Obama.
Delia
And then there’s TPM’s mash-up of Romney’s & Obama’s college speeches.
Romney is a Lannister. He thinks people should vote for him because he shits gold. Apparently his wife does, too. He’s also not one of the smartest Lannisters.
Hill Dweller
@Villago Delenda Est:
Willard has handlers, but they’re busy warning the country about Obama’s Czechoslovakia policy.
Narcissus
@kay: This is true. I’ve never seen a politician with less gumption.
Even Harry Reid has more get-up-and-go.
Brian R.
@Irving:
To borrow a line from last weekend’s Game of Thrones: There’s no cure for being a c*nt.
dead existentialist
@Anya: Heh heh heh. He’s a barrel of fun.
Brachiator
You clearly do not comprehend the awesome magic of His Mittness. If your parents don’t have the scratch, you have obviously been born into the wrong family, and should run away from home and search out people whose checkbook more appropriately matches your ambitions.
Sweet boneless Jeebus. Mitts is a total doofus.
Delia
Well, remember the Mighty Mitt fired the competent debate coach. Apparently it reflects badly on His Grace to appear to need help with something.
Brian R.
@kay:
Yep. It comes from a lifetime in which his own fortune was never on the line.
He started out coasting on his father’s fame and money. And then at Bain he stripped the companies he took over for parts and was always guaranteed a profit, no matter if the company succeeded or not. And then with the Olympics, he took a ton of federal money to make it work.
But now, it’s his own ass on the line, and it’s clearly something unsettling for him.
Elizabelle
WaPost: Thomas Mann (Brookings Institution) and Norm Ornstein (AEI):
Let’s just say it: The Republicans are the problem.
Whoa. And wow. From the Washington Post.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Villago Delenda Est:
No, the MittBot has become what he thinks is sentient and now he programs himself.
Everyone else is just along for the ride (and cash).
gex
@delphi_ote: Oh no! Who will make sandwiches in our town? Christ, someone has a very inflated sense of the value of his “contribution” to society.
rikyrah
Willard has no courage. WHAT, in his entire life, has he had to do to express courage.
He spent Vietnam in France on his many deferrments.
He used other people’s money for Bain.
When it was obvious he wouldn’t win re-election for Governor, he didn’t even try.
How was he going to kill Bin Laden..
when he couldn’t even stand up to Rush Limbaugh.
Show me…
ONE moment in Willard’s life…where he’s shown any courage.
jl
@Elizabelle:
Norm Ornstein (AEI), that is really jarring for me.
Ornstein has always seemed out of place to me at the AEI, and now that it has been totally bought out for years, he’s still there.
Back in the day, I attended a couple of policy Q&A bull sessions where he was on the panel of Very Serious centrists (which Ornstein is, IMO), which had to handle uppity impertinent questions and follow up from DFH commie post docs.
I remember Ornstein really diving into dialogue with us commies and and some good back and forth. I have absolutely no memory of who the other guys were, other than boilerplate.
I have not followed what he has been writing for years, though.
Irving
Oh, hilarious. If you look at the TPM story, what’s printed on the front of Romney’s podium? “Obama isn’t Working.” Yup, it’s Taco/Vr—s’s “grassroots” hashtag. Guess that more or less settles who’s paying that jabroney to come over here and be insulted by us, don’t it?
And why on earth is it a good idea to give a speech with your opponent’s name written on the podium?
PeakVT
Also, too: $25K (the amount JJ actually borrowed) back then is about $53K now. So Mitt thinks people should borrow from their parents an amount that’s more than most households earn in a year. Here’s a hint, bub: People earning $53K probably have about $5K to lend their kids. $500 if the car just gave up the ghost.
jl
@kay:
OK, thanks, I will need to think that through a couple of times.
Probably a lot of truth in it, but there is weird political quantum mechanics type reality going on in the GOP these days that is hard to wrap your mind around.
Elizabelle
@jl:
Yeah, (1) Ornstein’s a good guy and (2) it’s amazing to me he’s spelled his concern out so carefully.
From the article:
rb
@The Other Chuck: You win. Holy crap, you caught me so off guard I almost embarrassed myself laughing out loud.
Brachiator
@FlipYrWhig:
But here’s the crazy complicating factor. The GOP tried hard to portray Obama as the aloof nose-in-the-air Harvard educated aristocrat. And now, their alternative is Mitt Romney?
This is almost too crazy for words. I agree with you that a chunk of boobs will vote for Romney just because they hate Obama. But the cognitive dissonance has got to be overwhelming.
Brian R.
@jl:
Ornstein is conservative, but neither an asshole nor an idiot.
Hmm. Maybe he’s not a conservative after all.
Villago Delenda Est
@Brachiator:
No, not really.
Obama is black.
Mittens is white.
No cognitive dissonance there!
Cacti
It’s not just that Mitt doesn’t understand. It’s that he can’t ever be made to understand.
I’m sure he thought his advice was good, sincere, and from the heart. $20,000 is couch-cushion money for Mitt. He truly can’t comprehend the idea that such a number amounts to more than half of many people’s annual salary.
PurpleGirl
We have to keep reminding people that when Mitt was in college he didn’t have a job. Through TWO degrees he didn’t work. Ann stayed home and had two kids and didn’t work. He sold stock his father gave him for birthday gifts. He supported himself and family on STOCK SALES. What the fuck does he know about anything?
Brian R.
@Cacti:
Or that when Jimmy John founded his restaurant, it was in 1983. According to my inflation calculator, $20K then is like $48K today.
Betsy
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): Simple. One impulse and drive underlies his every action, his every “gaffe”: to place Romney above not-Romney.
Actually, he would hatethepresidency. Imagine his hectoring, disdainful style applied to negotiations with congress. It would be totally ineffective and the whole country would see how ineffective it was. He would become known as in tractable disdainful completely ieffectual in his arrogance and self opinion,within months.
Of course, some firebaggers think this is just the way Obama ought to have gone. Go all authoritarian and patriarchal. It makes some people feel very comforted. But seems strange to the rest of us – especially when one has no actual authority over the object.
gocart mozart
And if their parents won’t lend them any, as a last resort, they can always sell some of their stock.
AliceBlue
The people behind Mitt in that picture look like hostages.
Foregone Conclusion
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
Noblesse oblige. His father had it, and so does Mitt. The difference is that George was a real liberal; he was practically the only HUD secretary ever to make a serious attempt to integrate America’s cities, although Nixon stopped him as much as possible on that count. Mitt doesn’t realise that noblesse oblige demands that you help the little people, he just thinks that it’s his ‘duty’ to serve.
Martin
$20K is fucking easy to come by. Just win a bet with Rick Perry. Done.
Lazy fuckers.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Martin:
No, you would need to win two bets with Parry. Still, that would be fairly easy to do.
dww44
@rikyrah: Late to this thread, but, by golly, you’ve nailed Mr. Romney. Not only is he clueless, but if there is a scintilla of evidence of any political or personal courage on his part, I’ve never heard of it.
fasteddie9318
@delphi_ote:
Do I have to not give him a dime specifically because he’s a shithead glibertarian, or is it OK if I don’t give him a dime just because his sandwiches taste like ass?
Chris
@Teddy’s Person:
Yeah, I’m baffled too. My only explanation (short of Mitt being a Democratic plant) is that it’s basically another Palin situation – they’re so used to getting what they want they can’t even be arsed to put up an act, and despite their best efforts their staffs can’t control their petulant bosses.
RalfW
Since this seems to be the thread from GOP assholes ~
Boehner got all wound up in the House this afternoon on the student loan bill and bellowed “Do we have to fight about everything?”
Well duh, dude! Here’s the relevant info via Robert Draper’s new book. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) said at the inauguration night festival of scheming @ the Caucus Room restaurant: “We’ve gotta challenge them on every single bill and challenge them on every single campaign.”
So yeah, Mister Speaker. You are running the play your team laid out on night one of Obama’s Presidency. So spare me the fauxtrage. Spare me the sudden noticing that “everything is partisan.” It’s your game. Don’t cry about it now when Dems fight back.
Brachiator
@Villago Delenda Est:
Yeah, there is that, but it only magnifies the cognitive dissonance. For example:
Wingnut: Yeah, Obama brought the troops out of Iraq, but he was only doing what a Real White American president would do. And Obama is really supporting the Mooslim terrorists.
Question: So, you would vote for Mitt Romney, even though his foreign policy advisors are former Bushies? And you would vote for Romney even if he said pulling troops out of Iraq was a mistake, and even if he promised to send US troops back to Iraq or to Iran?
Wingnut: ?? Tilt!
Chris
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
Daddy issues.
Chris
@Brachiator:
That’s not a complicating factor. They spent eight years working themselves into rabid fury over Clinton’s draft-dodging record, then served up George W. Bush. IOKIYAR.
VividBlueDotty
@fasteddie9318: Either one. Or you could not give him a dime of your money because of all the things in America that you can eat, most sandwiches (cured meat on white or “wheat” bread) are among the worst for you. This has been my reason for swearing off Jimmy John’s and other sandwich places, but henceforth I’m switching from this option to option 1 (shithead glibertarian), because I enjoy feeling smug. : )
Nutella
On the question of why Mitt even wants to be president, I think he’s got a warped view of what the job really is like.
Reminds me of my old boss, the millionaire scion running the family business as a very closely held corporation, who saw other companies’ IPOs for tons of money and decided to go public. I knew he wouldn’t like it but he spent a lot of time and money on the IPO and then was horrified and disgusted to find that he had to answer to snotty little financial reporters every quarter. So he spent a lot of time and money taking the company private again because he just. Couldn’t. Stand it.
If Romney manages to nab the presidency, he’s going to be just as unhappy and will want to bail. Like my old boss did, and like Palin did.
General Stuck
Mittenthrope
dww44
@Elizabelle:
Thanks. I’ve sent a link to all my conservative friends and relatives, with whom I no longer discuss politics. Not good for my blood pressure. But, the piece is too important not to share in hopes that it will persuade a couple of them that their votes next November can bring change.
It would be nice if the GOP was sent home packing, but, unfortunately, in my red state, ain’t a snowball’s chance in hell that’s gonna happen, thanks to the recent redistricting where the state got one more Rep and are targeting the one remaining Blue Dog Dem for extinction by putting him into a reconfigured less African American district.
But all the same, rejection at the polls is about the only thing that will turn the GOP back towards sanity. A person can hope that a bit of a drubbing will be administered, and at the very least, they don’t get rewarded.
suzanne
@Mnemosyne:
My very Republican boss lives in Fountain Hills. He’s on the planning commission. I think planning in Fountain Hills consists of KEEP THE BROWN PEOPLE OUT OF MY YARD.
Mitt Romney makes me want to vomit on my student loan statement indicating my $110,000 debt.
Mnemosyne
@suzanne:
Now, now. They seem to like to have brown people in their yards in Fountain Hills. Who else is going to rake it and keep it looking nice?
Letting them stay in the town after the yard work is done is a somewhat different proposition, I gather.
PeakVT
@RalfW: “Do we have to fight about everything?”
My god, what WATB.
mai naem
Didn’t know this crap about Jimmy Johns. Gonna stop going there. It happens to be the closest sub place near work and home. Not any great loss. I have never truly liked their samwiches anyway.
Frankensteinbeck
@Brachiator: and @Brachiator:
Cognitive dissonance don’t work like that. The name is deceptive and refers to rationalization of actions. People have NO problem believing mutually contradictory crap. Hell, people being fantastically good at believing mutually contradictory crap is one of the foundations of modern psychology. They don’t have any need to make these things fit because they’re thin rationalizations over their emotions anyway.
amk
mitt’s twitter tags
#mittsoutoftouchisms
#mittastrophe
#whatismitthiding
#whereareyourtaxreturnsmitt
#mittbot
#mittthenewmeghwitman
#godiamarichassholemitt
lou
And Jimmy Johns business model? Start up the sub sandwich shops in IL state college towns subsidized by parents and taxpayers. And now senor Jimmy has moved his home from his start up state of IL to a luxury gated community along the SE coast of Florida. Why? IL raised its personal income tax from 3 to 5%! The horror! Now when the wind blows big in S. Florida, this cocksucker along with his kazillionaire neighbors and friends will expect a big aid relief from US taxpayers.
bob h
Not to disparage Otterbein, but if he had picked a more upscale university they would have laughed him out of the auditorium.
ksmiami
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): @beltane:
/ding ding ding – perfect summary. There is no overarching point to romney’s candidacy, not when his opponent is a youthful, reasonable and good looking 21st century dude. Plus, as my so says, Romnney is just a total prick CEO, whereas at least Bush was a flawed, but actual person with you know, a pulse, feelings etc.
Romney wants to be President cause he is entitled dammit – it’s just weak sauce and I think America hates rich assholes – which is why they mostly stay behind the scenes, or get a ton of coaching.
This is going to be a horrible election season, I’m just sticking with BJ and ignoring the rest.
middlewest
Workers at a local JJ here in Minneapolis tried to unionize after they were threatened with firing for refusing to serving rotten meat. I think they got shut down, though.
RalfW
@PeakVT:
WATB and totally un-self-aware.
Which tend to go together.
Catsy
Jimmy Johns makes shitty sandwiches on the cheap (their costs, not your prices). There are several in Bellevue and a few of my coworkers love them. I hate being That Guy who never wants to go to lunch where anyone else does, but knowing the founder is a tea bragger fucktard and a friend of Romney’s makes me feel a lot better about it.
Oh, and Romney really is a tone-deaf douchecopter.
Dizcusted
It seems Mitt just can’t help himself lately. He simply has to go out of his way to constantly and consistently show how out of touch he is with the real world.
Keep up the good work, Romney-bot 2000.