Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Let there be snark.

Bark louder, little dog.

I really should read my own blog.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

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Reader Interactions

151Comments

  8. 8.

    SiubhanDuinne

    What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?

    Pit bulls are DELICIOUS!

  9. 9.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Somewhere in a different universe, there’s a president who is exactly like Obama, except he’s white and Republican.

    He enjoys an unrivaled cult of devotion.

  12. 12.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    So, today in the mail I received my California voter info pamphlet for the June “primary” election, and inside, I see that, running for the Senate as a Republican is… Orly fucking Taitz.

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    @cathyx: Trying to make the correspondent’s dinner sound cooler than it is. I’ve been to enough YAPCs and foo camps to know how real geeks party. Luke Russert would have his lunch money taken from him at a real nerd prom.

  14. 14.

    The Dangerman

    Sadly, Kimmel is going down in flames…

    ETA: OK, the Sully/Lindsay joke was pretty good…

  17. 17.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @Alison: There are two ballot measures, propositions 28 and 29 (vote NO on 28, YES on 29), plus various primaries and local stuff, depending on where you live.

  21. 21.

    jl

    I forgot about the thing, so just caught a few minutes at the end of Kimmel’s act.

    Kimmel ended pretty OK. Seemed pretty phoned in, explored an inch or two beyond mild inoffensiveness. Appropriate subdued mild laffs, just what you need at a lame event like this before the schmoozefest continues.

    Ed Henry is really funny, though, IMHO. Laffs.

  22. 22.

    gogol's wife

    @JGabriel:

    I am not watching this event (will try to see Obama tomorrow if somebody puts it up somewhere), but I read an article about Kimmel getting ready for it, and it was pre-ordained that he wouldn’t be good, because the whole thing was about how he had to avoid being “rude” like Stephen Colbert.

    Stephen Colbert’s performance will survive through the ages.

  24. 24.

    Alison

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: Oh right, the tobacco tax thingie. I was just chuckling the other day at a commercial about how awful it was…paid for by Philip Morris. OH WELL OKAY THEN.

    28 I’m less sure about – what’s your reasons for being against it? (Not being ornery, I’m honestly curious because I’m undecided)

  27. 27.

    jl

    @gogol’s wife:

    Maybe people should just watch reruns of the Colbert extravaganza.

    I think the Kimmel non joke joke about the corporate press will be about as far as anyone goes from now on.

    If Mitt wins, in the midst of the rubble, the press dinner will be fun, if you like black humor. The corporate raider and office supply jokes will be hoots.

    Anyway, it was a few laughs. Nice lead in for ‘Senate Agriculture Cmte. Marks Up the 2012 Farm Bill’ Think I’ll click on that.

  28. 28.

    askew

    Obama was hysterical tonight and very, very biting. He was much, much harsher and funnier than Kimmel.

    I am hoping for Jimmy Fallon next year.

  30. 30.

    DCLaw1

    Kimmel kept rushing and stepping on his jokes. If time was tight, he should have cut the dozen or so groaners.

  33. 33.

    Clime Acts

    @mcd410x:

    There’s an alarming percentage of folks who rip the Villagers but secretly want to be them.

    THIS.

    Many of them comment at Balloon Juice.

  35. 35.

    gbear

    @mcd410x: That pathetic slide show at Huffpo (Pierce’s link) is worth slogging through all the photos of ‘glamorous’ villagers just to get to the picture of Rachel Maddow in jeans and a black pullover and drinks in hand. She was so not like the others that I laughed. I bet she even considered wearing a hoodie to the event.

  36. 36.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @Alison: My root problem with 28 is that I think term limits for the Assembly and Senate should be abolished entirely, it was a bad idea from the get-go, and has given us an even bigger group of idiots in the legislature,

  38. 38.

    Clime Acts

    @gbear:

    She was so not like the others that I laughed.

    So what the fuck was she doing at this repulsive freak show?

    If Obama had any cojones he would have told the organizers to fuck off thank you, he had much better ways to spend his time.

    But no…there he was sitting in the Imperial Throne, demonstrating how very much things have CHANGED since he came into office.

    Please.

  40. 40.

    Nellcote

    @jl:

    If Mitt wins, in the midst of the rubble, the press dinner will be fun, if you like black humor.

    Mitt in blackface doing comedy?

  42. 42.

    Culture of Truth

    Yes, Obama was harsher and funnier than I expected. He did that thing again where it’s all in fun until he cuts you. That dog video cracked me up.

  44. 44.

    AA+ Bonds

    IF ONLY ALL WOMEN COULD BE AS IDEAL AS THE LEADER’S WOMAN, ALL CHILDREN AS WINSOME AND WHOLESOME AS HIS CHILDREN

  46. 46.

    DCLaw1

    Argle barge and get off my lawn! What’s all this laughing amidst the grim march of a gray, joyless life??

  48. 48.

    AA+ Bonds

    @gbear:

    just to get to the picture of Rachel Maddow in jeans and a black pullover and drinks in hand

    This is in no way a knock on Maddow (and I have plenty of them if you want some) but my experience of the D.C. crowd is that if she were a straight white woman she would never, ever, ever be allowed to get away with that but as a lesbian she has been Othered

  49. 49.

    Southern Beale

    In other news I seem to be getting a ton of search engine hits off the terms “Obama fillibuster proof majority,” etc. I’m guessing one of those chain e-mail has started going around and people are Googling to see if it’s true?

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Raven:

    Oh, I got it. It was a poke at Sarah Palin’s line four years ago when she posed the same question and answered it “Lipstick” — and also a poke at everyone who’s having a fit over his having tasted dog when he was a child in Indonesia.

  51. 51.

    hildebrand

    @Clime Acts: Such a jolly soul aren’t we? Such a marvelous right little ray of sunshine? I dub thee Marvin henceforth and forevermore.

    Edit: Just the personality, mind you, not the brain size.

  54. 54.

    jl

    @Nellcote: No, I wasn’t thinking about that kind of black humor. I was thinking about jokes that end like:

    “So if get them individually packaged, you can lower the markup and with the rebate, you’re ahead one and a half percent per 30 minute customer rollover and can lose one FTE.”

    “And I CAN FIRE THE GUY!”

    har har har.

    All you folks in purchasing know the set up.

  55. 55.

    AA+ Bonds

    I don’t watch tend to watch utter shit about rich people glad-handing each other but I have to assume Clime Acts is funnier than anything that happened this year

    The only real humor I have seen from this business, ever, was the Hulk Hogan bit about the birth certificate and that was only funny to me because it relates to an inside joke between me and a best friend

  57. 57.

    AA+ Bonds

    I mean the funniest thing that could happen to the Correspondents’ Dinner is if it turned out they were actually just shipping everyone who walked through the door to a camp in Siberia

    And no, someone saying something like that from the stage while all of them look uncomfortable or laugh or whatever does not qualify as ‘funny’

  59. 59.

    David Koch

    Obama was funny. Not as funny as last year, but still funny.

    Kimmel was flat, but that’s understandable, he’s not a political comedian like Seth Myer.

  60. 60.

    gbear

    @AA+ Bonds: Well we’re all glad that you have a sliver of human experience that allows you to feel the smallest sense of pleasure over one of the bits.

  61. 61.

    jl

    @Southern Beale: It will be interesting to see if Kimmel’s thirty seconds of diluted Colbert will cause of fuss. If it does, the press is a bunch of pompous losers (except rich losers).

    Thanks to mcd410x @19 for the Pierce link. I clicked through the slide show. I am so out of it, I do not know who half those people are.

    I don’t think Blitzer was really there, though. The pics look like it was someone a Wolf Blitzer mask taped over his face.

  62. 62.

    AA+ Bonds

    @gbear:

    Let’s be honest: you have no experience that actually allows you to relate to any of these monsters, and that’s a good thing and I hope you look in the mirror and feel proud of that because you should, you really should

  63. 63.

    AA+ Bonds

    If not thinking the Correspondents’ Dinner is funny means that someone has no sense of humor, then the sick joke is that America still exists

  65. 65.

    AA+ Bonds

    @jl:

    One does have to have some real gallows humor that the ruling class is more the ruling class than ever before in the history of the United States

    If you couldn’t laugh that these people walk free and get paid for it and go to parties like this on our dime, you’d go insane

  67. 67.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    The prophet Nostradumbass:

    So, today in the mail I received my California voter info pamphlet for the June “primary” election, and inside, I see that, running for the Senate as a Republican is… Orly fucking Taitz

    If you can vote in the CA GOP primary, then you must vote for Orly. I so hope she wins the nomination. The country needs a birther dentist lawyer Likudnik running for national office, if only to provide comic fodder for the writers at The Daily Show.

    .

  68. 68.

    jl

    @AA+ Bonds:

    Some day, there will be four while a GOPper is president. If the current GOP goon show does not shut down soon and they don’t reform themselves, think about what that will be like.

    Yeah, it will take some robust gallows humor to get through.

    Hope, and pretty sure, not next year though.

  69. 69.

    Amir Khalid

    @Culture of Truth:
    It can’t be fun being the main comedy act at the WHCD if you have to keep it nice and polite, and then you get upstaged, as a comedian, by POTUS.

  71. 71.

    AA+ Bonds

    I think my friends are funny; I think these people are my enemies and the enemies of the American people

    Goebbels got some decent laugh lines in too over the years, no lie, but when I go through the archives at Calvin, I am not exactly doubled over

  72. 72.

    gbear

    @AA+ Bonds: I’m not even watching the damned thing. I’m going to wait until tomorrow to watch Obama’s speech. I’m only commenting on your puffed-up outrage over a dress-up party because you’re so completely humorless about it.

    When I look in the mirror. I see an old guy who a coworker just told me looks a lot like the captain of the Titanic, and the fuck I’m going to feel any guilt or shame at your expense.

  74. 74.

    lamh35

    I’m finally watching Obama’s WHCD bit it was way more biting than I expected.

    And way better than Kimmel.

    Oh and that dog video was pretty funny

  75. 75.

    jl

    @JGabriel: CA has an open primary coming up. No reason to vote for any crazy person.

    But, if you could stick the GOP with some one like her, it would be interesting.

    It will be interesting to see how many state leg and congressional districts where no GOPper at all will get enough votes to get into general. I bet there will be at least a few.

  76. 76.

    AA+ Bonds

    I don’t rag on the press as a social institution – which is good for me, because these people aren’t the press

  78. 78.

    DCLaw1

    THERE WILL BE NO MIRTH UNTIL ALL INJUSTICE AND DEATH ARE GONE FOREVER AND I WILL FART IN HERE UNTIL YOU RELENT. BEHOLD MY SCOWL OF DISAPPROVAL. YES I AM CAPABLE OF MERRIMENT BUT ONLY RUEFULLY AND WITH SUFFICIENT BLEAKNESS TO PROVE MY MORAL SUPERIORITY. WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUGHING?!?!

  80. 80.

    Villago Delenda Est

    You can bet the farm that they’ll never, ever invite Colbert back.

    Because he ripped them a plethora of new ones when he was there. They were all deserved, too.

  81. 81.

    DCLaw1

    AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM KNOWN TO ENJOY HUMOR IN SITUATIONS I DEEM APPROPRIATE AND THAT HAPPENS LOTS.

  82. 82.

    AA+ Bonds

    @DCLaw1:

    So in other words you’ve given up

    I really find it fascinating that so many people here think that there is no difference between laughing and laughing at rich celebrities

    What miserable people your friends must be

    Then again, if you’re really a lawyer in D.C., you must be deep into Stockholm syndrome with these freaks

  85. 85.

    Hill Dweller

    @lamh35: You were right. That crowd didn’t appreciate the Young Jeezy joke. And the, what looked like, ad-lib with Michelle afterward made it even more effective.

  87. 87.

    AA+ Bonds

    I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a lawyer and then have to spend time next to the actual ruling class – the truly wealthy and their indolent lifestyles, people who would commit suicide if they were told they’d have to live on your income as an attorney

    It must be extremely stressful especially if you are fake laughing at their jokes all the time and going on the Internet to defend them

  90. 90.

    lamh35

    @Hill Dweller: the laughs you heard were from the urban press and the younger members (white and black). The ole farts had NO idea who Jeezy is made it funnier for me cause soon as I heard it I thought of “My President Is…” POTUS just made Jeezy’s night.

    Oh and the wink after he said he was born in Hawaii was awesome!

  91. 91.

    DCLaw1

    @AA+ Bonds: Yes, they are indeed quite bleak and stressful, these things you imagine. Man, I’m getting stressed out and depressed already just visualizing them!

  94. 94.

    lamh35

    Oh and Keith Olbermann’s had the thinest damn skin ever. Dude is damn near transculent.

    He now mad at Jimmy Kimmel for the jokes Kimmel told at WHCD.

    Jeez…Keith O really needs to get over himself.

  95. 95.

    AA+ Bonds

    It is very genuinely funny for me to think of the Washington press corps showing up to the big shithead party in all their stolen finery, and getting bags thrown over their head, and getting pushed off a plane a few hours later and frogmarched into a Baghdad prison by singing and clapping Iraqis

    Come on, you’d love that, deep down you’re human too, allow yourself to chuckle

  96. 96.

    lamh35

    So since Ed Henry the head of WHCD next year, who’s the host…some conservative comedian???? Jeff Foxworthy or Dennis Miller…ugh!

  98. 98.

    Redshift

    @jl:

    Some day, there will be four while a GOPper is president. If the current GOP goon show does not shut down soon and they don’t reform themselves, think about what that will be like.

    That’s easy — it’ll be Rich Little or Zombie Rich Little depending on whether he’s still alive, all four years.

  99. 99.

    xian

    I just try to remind myself that they have those voices in their heads all the livelong day and it makes their tiresome bleatings here a bit more bearable.

  100. 100.

    Yutsano

    @arguingwithsignposts: Apparently you missed the confession of him being a Republican ratfucker. That explains a lot. He uses “you liberals” too much to be any sort of an ally.

    I won’t get started on the pedo sympathizer.

  101. 101.

    Redshift

    I watched a bunch of it because I’m at my m-i-l’s house, and if it wasn’t on, something worse would have been. I thought Kimmel was okay, and I didn’t feel like he trying to be inoffensive. He had some okay political barbs, not brilliant, but I think that’s because he’s not as good a political comedian as Colbert or Seth Myers, not because he was particularly holding back.

  104. 104.

    Steve

    “One does have to have some real gallows humor that the ruling class is more the ruling class than ever before in the history of the United States”

    …really?

  105. 105.

    askew

    @Nellcote:

    Ed Henry gets to pick. I’m betting on Dennis Miller.

    Ed Henry is picking? Yikes, I’d bet on Miller as well then unless there is an even more unfunny, right-wing comedian around.

  107. 107.

    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick

    i like the theory that kimmel took a dive, don’t know if its true.

    the real take should be that obama owned the eating dog thing. “its raining men” was funny. the first time i heard that song, ironically, it was dennis miller who was hosting a kids show in pittsburgh that no one cared about. it was sandwiched the end of the saturday cartoons and before the game of the week. it was such a wtf moment i remembered it until i realized how funny it was, years later. its a shame that is also the best you can say for dennis miller.

  108. 108.

    Clime Acts

    @hildebrand:

    So…it’s important to the level of joyfulness in your own life that you know the villager whores, whether political or media or corporate are rubbing elbows and plotting our destruction in D.C.?

    That gives you happiness?

    The you are unwell.

  110. 110.

    satanicpanic

    @askew:

    unless there is an even more unfunny, right-wing comedian around.

    Victoria Jackson (that would actually be pretty amusing to watch)

  111. 111.

    Clime Acts

    @Anya:

    My outrage is bipartisan. Unlike you, I am just as appalled when a Democratic president kisses village ass as when a Puke does the same.

    And don’t bore be with rebuttals about the awesomeness of Obama’s “fuck you” speech to the assembled elite. Just by BEING THERE he validated the gathered cretins and criminals, and gave his blessing to the horrific ritual.

    blech

  113. 113.

    sistermoon

    @Clime Acts: He doesn’t tell the organizers to fuck off because this event raises money to provide scholarship money to poor kids who want to study journalism.

    Asshole.

  114. 114.

    FlipYrWhig

    Yes, the political media in this country is horrible. Irrespective of the skeevy occasion, Obama _as a performer_ killed. And Kimmel even pulled out some firebaggish humor about Democrats as pushovers and Obama squandering opportunities, so there was something in it for even the darkest pits of self-loathing that populate the comment sections of the blogosphere.

  115. 115.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Clime Acts: Just like how by being here instead of telling us to fuck off you validate us. Consistency, thy name ought to be Timkola Acts.

  116. 116.

    Clime Acts

    @sistermoon:

    My god, you’re a standardless dumbass.

    If the KKK threw a fundraiser for journalism, would you attend?

    ETA: Bleeding Unwiped Sphincter

  119. 119.

    Amir Khalid

    @jl:
    I watched that twice. Ouch. Obama’s telling his audience their story, and why it matters. And he’s totally rocking the house. Whereas Mitt is telling his audience a meandering story about the office supplies business, and they’re fighting to stay awake. We’re looking at the difference between boys and men, and it’s painfully obvious that Mitt is among the little boys. If I were Mitt I’d just give up now.

  120. 120.

    Clime Acts

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Gosh no. I’m on a monthly donation program already…plus all the money I spend on my own boys. I’m not giving the VIP pedos any more than I already do.

  121. 121.

    xaneroxane

    OT no doubt, but at a South Beach (Miami) bar and bored with the band. Thought of you…

  122. 122.

    Jay in Oregon

    @mcd410x:
    From Charles Pierce’s link, this is the headline on the HuffPo article:

    Meghan McCain Goes After Greta Van Susteren For Inviting Lindsay Lohan To White House Correspondents’ Dinner

    The only words in there that don’t make me pray for a meteor are “after”, “for”, and “to”.

  123. 123.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    Timmeh is interested in two things: derailing threads, and drawing attention to himself. Don’t give him the oxygen.

  124. 124.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    Jay in Oregon:

    Meghan McCain Goes After Greta Van Susteren For Inviting Lindsay Lohan To White House Correspondents’ Dinner

    The only words in there that don’t make me pray for a meteor are “after”, “for”, and “to”.

    I don’t think any of us wants a meteor strike on the WHCD until we know President Obama is equipped with a blast shield strong enough to protect him & Michelle from the impact.

    .

  125. 125.

    xian

    I’ve also noticed that derp and sexy-names seem to trade off threads, probably depending on whether the better angle is to trumpet unlimited corporate cash or to deflate something positive about the potus.

  127. 127.

    jl

    @Amir Khalid: The theme of Romney’s talk was ‘things are not always what they seem’. So, rich fatcats running off with public money that used to be spent on kids are are really doing the kids a favor.

    The big serious daddy, a stiff, who has the kids’ college fund lost and for an indeterminate time unavailable in a day trading hall of mirrors has to explain that things are not really what they look like.

    Mitt should see if he can use this for his theme song. Might go over better.
    Allen/Palmer – Things are seldom what they seem (from HMS Pinafore)
    http://youtu.be/dsAShdgTy-M

  129. 129.

    jl

    Mittybits.
    Sharp deals dwell in every fold;
    All that glitters is not gold;
    Stocks turn out to be but dogs;
    Fatcats may be hungry dogs.

    Students. (puzzled)
    So they be,
    Frequentlee.

    Mittybits.
    I keep the buck and drop the mill;
    Grab the most, shove you the bill;
    You grab the farthing if you will,
    Yet it is a farthing still.

    Students. (puzzled)
    Yes, I know.
    That is so.
    Though to catch your drift I’m striving,
    It is shady, it is shady;
    I don’t see at what you’re driving,
    Richy daddy, Richy daddy.

  131. 131.

    Clime Acts

    @jl:

    omg, you guys are on to me, I mean us, I mean ALL of us…

    whatever to do!

    you have found the TELL!

    OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    ETA: Indeed!

  135. 135.

    TheYankeeApologist

    @Clime Acts:
    I just don’t get it. What is the personal value for you here? You clearly disagree with the tenor of the politics here, and it’s not like your comments are intended to change minds or even provoke discussion that doesn’t devolve into ad hominem slugfests.

    Cato is either DougJ tourist-trolling or a mouth-breathing intern for Rush Limbaugh. I get why he comes here. You actually remind me of JoeBeese quite a bit. I never understood why people like the two of you come here just to argue.

  136. 136.

    Quaker in a Basement

    OK, maybe Kimmel sucked. But “What’s black and white and read all over? Nothing!”

    Pure gold.

  143. 143.

    xian

    @TheYankeeApologist: ingredients seem to include equal parts self-loathing and attention seeking at any cost, but don’t rule out that such trolls may simply be fellow travelers or useful idiots for the nihilistic right.

  144. 144.

    Applejinx

    I can’t get over how clever Obama is.

    pit bulls are delicious

    Let’s run down all the levels that works on…
    -funny joke, because it’s out of left field in a Palin bit
    -stealing the ‘dog eating’ thing preemptively by using it in a joke
    -correct time and place for a scandalous joke
    -pit bulls are scary and dangerous, unsympathetic
    -Obama’s so tough, when he eats dog it’s a pit bull
    -PALIN is the pit bull by her own comparison and Obama ate her and McCain up
    -he’s now joking about it and reminding us of it
    -in a joke that on the surface looks like it’s a harmless gag on himself, like Bush ‘looking under the couch for the WMDs’

    Just take a moment and consider the messaging on that. Our President (that I voted for, and will vote for again) is capable of being THAT devious in a seemingly self-deprecating joke. I swear, I might watch him debating Romney live, which I never do, just to enjoy the carnage.

    This is who I want talking to foreign governments and defusing the crazy Republican extremism on my behalf, as the world chokes on right-winger crazy policies and coughs up hairballs. I want THIS guy handling it. We need him bigtime.

    Let him turn into Morgan Freeman from the stress. It’s well spent, a political peak few get to ascend, and it’s appreciated.

  145. 145.

    xian

    @jl: narcissism: it thought we were talking about it when we were talking about Romney and how Republicans need to run against reality, with its well known liberal bias.

    relates to that attention thing.

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