Via Charles Stross by way of the Powder Blue Satan, this insanity:
The Ministry of Defence is considering placing surface-to-air missiles on residential flats during the Olympics.
An east London estate, where 700 people live, has received leaflets saying a “Higher Velocity Missile system” could be placed on a water tower.
A spokesman said the MoD had not yet decided whether to deploy ground based air defence systems during the event.
But estate resident Brian Whelan said firing the missiles “would shower debris across the east end of London”.
The journalist said: “At first I thought it was a hoax. I can’t see what purpose high-velocity missiles could serve over a crowded area like Tower Hamlets.
Nothing could go wrong.
Baud
This is almost as crazy as using dementors to guard Hogwarts!
John Weiss
What?! This idea is seriously nuts.
eemom
Powder Blue Satan, tee hee.
Hey — how come we’re not the Blue Satan?
JPL
Cameron is the conservative in the room. His economic plan is just working hunky-dory, also, too.
Flying Fox
@Baud:
Could this kind of behavior have inspired the use of dementors to guard Hogwarts?
What do British authorities fear could happen that would they would need missiles for?
Amir Khalid
I seem to recall that the NYPD has had a similar idea, but their wheeze was to mount anti-aircraft artillery on rooftops.
@eemom: Despite Clime Act’s best efforts, we’re just not satanic enough.
Tony J
Yeah, it’s probably a bad idea, but why is it a bad idea. Model it out on a sandbox and get back to me. I’ll pass it on the the relevant authorities who, FYI, lost their dedicated sandbox facility during a recent swathe of austerity cuts.
In the meantime, won’t even the worst progonstications of the doomsayers just inspire a bit of that Ye Olde Blitz Spirit? Eh? Nothing like falling shrapnel and finding your house sans roof to get you properly excited about our nation’s gold-medal prospects.
Long-term thinkers, these guys. It’s why no one actually elected them.
Thor Heyerdahl
Citius, Altius, Fortius!
This has “chance of a cock-up” written all over it.
Brachiator
Shouldn’t they be using drones, instead?
I heard this on the BBC news this morning. I was half asleep, but thought that either I wasn’t hearing it right, or was dreaming.
This is some seriously stupid shit.
Yutsano
Someone keep an eye out for a police box from 1963. One sounds like it’s about to show up any second now.
David Koch
gonna need ’em to shoot down 99 Luft balloon
Thor Heyerdahl
@Brachiator: Nah – drones are too expensive. Cameron will use unemployed proles and chavs instead.
Bago
In soviet London, we bring missile to you!
PeakVT
I thought bin Laden was dead, but somehow he still has security services around the world scared stupid.
cat48
Is it Missile Defense System? They set some type missile defense system wherever Obama travels. I first read about it when he picked up the Noble Peace Prize. heh They set one up there.
Thor Heyerdahl
Can’t we just launch the Murdochs instead?
Amir Khalid
@Flying Fox:
What a question. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of al-Qa’ida’s fearsome fighter-bomber squadrons, or their massive stockpiles of cruise missiles.
Tony J
@Amir Khalid:
Didn’t they all get moved to Syria? And isn’t that what all the recent unrest is about?
I’m pretty sure that’s what Fox News said in my fever dream.
Teddy's Person
Holy cow, is the Ministry of Defense trying to out stupid House Republicans? Could be a new Olympic event. Michele Bachmann for the gold!!
Tony J
Uh, why is the word ‘model’ all blue and linky in my comment @ 7?
Tony J
Never mind. It’s not any more, but I couldn’t edit my question. Damn Interons!
Steeplejack
Let’s face it, the terrorists have won. Their ROI has got to be astronomical.
Morbo
Surely the best place for Cameron to place the missiles to show he means business is inside the stadium during opening ceremonies, right?
Joseph Nobles
In other news, World Nut Daily is working up some outrage upon learning that Andrew Breitbart’s coroner may have been poisoned to death. Evidently he was a flaw in the plan that had to be eliminated.
Amir Khalid
@Tony J:
SAMs are for shooting down planes. If you shoot that al-Qa’ida fighter-bomber out of the London sky, the inevitable unexploded bombs and big chunks of flaming wreckage are going to land … guess where?
Baud
@JPL: These are next-generation anti-recession missiles.
Mino
It is a total tragedy that MontyPython is defunct.
PeakVT
Here’s the estate in question. There’s taller towers with larger roofs nearby, so I don’t see why MoD picked this particular site.
ETA: The bird’s eye images are recent, as the landscaping is in around the stadium just to the east.
Brachiator
@Amir Khalid:
Scotland?
Yutsano
@Brachiator:
Too soon?
(or I saw what you did there works too.)
Villago Delenda Est
OK, if you go to link, Stross then outlines, in pretty convincing detail, what could go wrong.
Which is, basically, lots.
THEN he proceeds to inform us that his criticisms, if they were published south of Hadrian’s Wall, might put him in jail.
Yes, they’re that fucking stupid over there. The Bush/Cheney disease is epidemic.
Tony J
@Amir Khalid:
Exactly! It’s like Cameron has worked out a sneaky way to popularise a local infrastructure redevelopment policy for East London without calling it one. Just drop a few planes on the worst sink-estates and let the news coverage ‘force’ him to do the right thing while he reaps the electoral benefits. Foresight and humanity, just what we want in a Prime Minister.
Granted, the whole scheme – does – rely upon Al Qaida launching enough bombers from their North Sea bases to guarantee substantial property damage when they’re brought down, but I’m confident a boy who went to Eton wouldn’t embark upon a ploy of this complexity without being sure the threat was real.
That – would – be silly, and he’d look silly, which is not at all the done thing.
kdaug
Know the tough part about shooting down a plane?
The “down” part.
Where the hell do they think the pieces will land?
Mino
@Tony J: Well, that’s better than keeping your job by embracing the local lePen, I guess.
Amir Khalid
@Brachiator:
Ooh, you were this close to the right answer.
Villago Delenda Est
@Joseph Nobles:
First, these idiots think that this is an epsiode of “Columbo” or something. Second, they’re projecting like the Octoplex down at the Mall on Memorial Day weekend, screening the next Cruise Mission Impossible flick.
fasteddie9318
@kdaug:
On the poors, one assumes. It’s like austerity kicked up a notch.
rikyrah
Heard this on the radio and was like W-T-F?
Amanda in the South Bay
I’m sorta surprised it seems like the entire British military is mobilizing for the Olympics. I mean, even in SLC in 2002, I don’t think there was that level of militarization (SAMs in downtown Salt Lake City?). Or how about during the 2004 Olympics, at a high point of war in Iraq? Are they worried the IRA is going to launch a squadron of bombers?
Mino
@Amanda in the South Bay: Stealth stimulus?
kdaug
@fasteddie9318: Guidance-controlled debris field? Nice trick.
Brachiator
@Amanda in the South Bay: Well, there is this recent news story:
The missile defense thing is still nuts, but old grievances still fester, like an unexplored bomb from WW II.
fasteddie9318
@kdaug: Well, yes, but there’s also a frightfully large amount of poors out there, especially what with their insolent refusal to stop being poor now that we’ve implemented The Austerity Plan. Odds are the debris will mostly fall on them.
Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor
I can’t find an article calling out the actual missile designation, but the UK has only one HV-SAM in its arsenal (that I know of). I’m not really sure why you’d need roof-mounted SAMs to defend from hijacked airliners: The RAF is quite capable of shooting down anything that flies.
BTW, David Cameron has been the greatest friend that the UK aerospace industry has had since Major or Thatcher. IMO this stunt is more about kicking some cash to Thales and BAE than about addressing any actual security issues.
Just sayin’
Amanda in the South Bay
@Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor:
why not set up a Rapier battery in an open space, like a park?
Mike in NC
For years after the 9/11 attack on DC, it was routine to have mobile Stinger missile batteries deployed around the area. I worked at the Washington Navy Yard and it was common for authorities to close off the top deck to one of the parking garages for this reason.
Photos here – cryptome.org/eyeball/wny-mb/wny-mb.htm
quannlace
Christ. Event the Chinese weren’t this paranoid during their Olympic hosting.
PeterJ
Does that make the residential flats legit military targets then?
Brachiator
@quannlace:
Actually, the media deliberately turned a blind eye to a lot of nasty shit so as not to offend China or to spoil a good show, but that’s a whole other story.
Citizen_X
So, al-Queda has zeppelins, now?
Martin
@quannlace: The Chinese don’t bother to ask permission.
There used to be a missile base just outside of manhattan. As to the question of where the shot down plane should crash, almost anywhere other than it’s target is likely preferable, as they’d certainly be aiming for a 100,000 capacity stadium.
Just saying. It might be paranoid, but it’s not that stupid.
pseudonymous in nc
@PeakVT:
That’s the funny part: it’s an upscale gated community, built for people who want to live in East London but not in East London. High walls, limited and secured entry points, gym and pool and recreation areas contained within. Ideal if you want to put a military position there.
Amir Khalid
@Martin:
There’s pretty much nowhere in a modern city where the wreckage of a plane could come down without risk to humans. If you shot down a plane that was about to dive-bomb, say a city football stadium, there’d still be plenty of other cityfolk to worry about wherever the wreckage landed. Lockerbie is in a rural part of Scotland, and there were still people killed on the ground there. The time to intercept and shoot down a plane is well before it gets anywhere near a city. Fighter patrols might work better than SAMs in the city
Steeplejack
@quannlace:
Nobody hates them for their freedom.
Brachiator
@Amir Khalid:
Of the 270 fatalities of the Lockerbie disaster, eleven were people on the ground. But if you are committed to shooting down a hijacked aircraft, you are already deciding to kill hundreds of people. The SAM option is obviously nuts as a primary response, maybe totally nuts altogether. But I can understand it in theory as a last ditch attempt to prevent a deliberate targeting of a building or a stadium full of people.
xian
@Amir Khalid: there was that crash is Brooklyn or queens a few years back. I think the ground casualties were remarkably light but my memory may be off.
LosGatosCA
Wingnuts the world over crave the purity of destruction in pursuit of the enemy. It’s the Walter Mitty dream that fuels almost every Hollywood movie.
Shoot the bad guy trying to rob the neighborhood, even if it’s not a bad guy and he’s not trying to rob anything. Torture the suspicious folks to death to find out what heinous act they are planning even if they aren’t planning anything. Use SAMs to keep the terrorist planes/drones from reaching the Super Bowl/Wembley stadium even if it’s only a figment of your overactive delusionally paranoid imagination.
Some men see non-threats as they are and say why the paranoia?
Wing nuts dream of threats that never were and say why not blow every fucking thing up and be the greatest hero that ever was?
Everyone will love, honor, and obey them once they prove how right they were all along. And if they’re wrong? Well a good time will be had in blowing every thing the fuck up. There’s no downside.
LosGatosCA
See 1% doctrine, Iraq, end of US civil liberties, etc.