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We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

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Consistently wrong since 2002

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

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We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

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Battle won, war still ongoing.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Totes SFW Explicit Film

Totes SFW Explicit Film

by | 50 Comments

This post is in: 

I’m still basically on my work/life-compelled blog hiatus, but I could not so abandon the BJ community as to fail to bring to your attention serious-charismatic-megafauna-gettin’-busy video.

Hence, Ladles and Jellyspoons, may I present some awesome rhino porn (h/t ScientificAmerican.com):

<div align=”center”><iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/4kSv7sHpp7Y” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe></div>

Do read the story framing the clip.  There is the suggestion of some significant insights into animal behavior that may — emphasize the tentative there — have real bearing on other conservation/species restoration efforts.

Oh, and I suppose you could consider this the most open-minded of open threads.  (And I suppose it is too much to ask to keep it more or less clean in the comment thread?  Ah, well.)

PS:  Here’s a bonus video of rhino courtship:

<div align=”center”><iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/jgqzjHMTOdA” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe></div>

Reader Interactions

50Comments

  9. 9.

    Brachiator

    From the article:

    The courtship ritual involved Suni smelling Najin’s rump to determine her pheromone levels, and both of them grunting and chasing each other around. This lasted close to 12 hours

    I hope he at least bought her dinner.

    And they might have been more successful had they tried a Barry White CD.

    Some of the sounds in the background are as fascinating as the clip.

    More seriously, a fascinating clip. I worried a bit about how much the rhinos weighed, and how the female supports the weight of the male.

  10. 10.

    mai naem

    @Ben Franklin: Chris Christie??? I would have said the Wasilla Hillbilly but we know that first she’s a Mama Grizzly and also too that she would never step foot in the country of Africa.

  11. 11.

    redshirt

    @mai naem: I’m not so sure of that. In fact, a well publicized “Sarah on Safari” tour (Tickets 10K each, all proceeds go towards SarahPAC) where you get to help Palin shoot an endangered animal would be right in the Wingnut sweetspot.

  12. 12.

    Brachiator

    @mai naem:

    I would have said the Wasilla Hillbilly but we know that first she’s a Mama Grizzly and also too that she would never step foot in the country of Africa.

    Uh, Africa. Not a country.

    Did you intend this as part of your snark?

  14. 14.

    Corbin Dallas Multipass

    Fun corporate messaging gone haywire.

    Kenneth Cole runs Billboard that says “Teachers Rights vs. Students Rights…”: Picture.

    People logically say “You are pitting students against teachers.” and express outrage via social media.

    Their Facebook response: “We have always used our platform to encourage dialogue about timely and relevant social issues. This message does not intend to pit teachers against students. Both of their interests should be best served. Through our WhereDoYouStand.com platform, our intent is to stimulate a conversation on this important topic.”

    Jon Kyl comes to mind.

    Good times.

  15. 15.

    Martin

    And given the topic, I must re-introduce a family story.

    My grandmother (no longer with us) was a special woman. Born in a strict Catholic family, she dared go to nursing school and start a career, buy a car, and marry a Jew (which was annulled due to pressure from both families). The car was black, named Satan, and had a little red Satan figure hanging from the mirror. She was a bit of a rogue, you might say, but as kind as anyone you’d ever meet. She took a job with the floating university and went around the world numerous times and loved to travel. She once took a 2 week trip to Peru armed with nothing more than a single change of clothes stuffed in her purse.

    About 20 years ago in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner an argument broke out between my stepmom and stepsister that proceeded to suck in various other family members. The mood in the room got a bit dark as we went from happy family time to unhappy family time, when the quiet 70 year old matriarch started quite at random quietly telling a story about her trip across africa, a side excursion from one of her university cruises. Those of us avoiding the argument listened attentively and the story was engaging enough to start to peel away some of the less invested folks in the argument. The story started to build and her voice got a bit louder, and then she quite strongly noted “And have any of you ever seen a rhinoceros’ erect penïs? It’s HUGE!” as she illustrates with her hands above the turkey, and then spends a moment or two describing the scene you can see above in some graphic detail, with the usual caveats that she couldn’t really see this part given that she was at a bad angle and some distance away, but she could just imagine what that part was like.

    Well, needless to say everyone stopped arguing, given the unexpected change in topic. There was quite a bit of blushing at the table (not from her, mind you – she was on a mission to set her family on a proper course) but the story continued and segued into some others. I’m not sure that argument ever resumed, but the entire rest of Thanksgiving day was spent quite firmly in happy family time.

  16. 16.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    @Brachiator: They say you should get your snark detector serviced every five thousand posts or so.

  17. 17.

    khead

    Those of us avoiding the argument listened attentively and the story was engaging enough to start to peel away some of the less invested folks in the argument. The story started to build and her voice got a bit louder, and then she quite strongly noted “And have any of you ever seen a rhinoceros’ erect penïs? It’s HUGE!” as she illustrates with her hands above the turkey, and then spends a moment or two describing the scene you can see above in some graphic detail, with the usual caveats that she couldn’t really see this part given that she was at a bad angle and some distance away, but she could just imagine what that part was like.

    @Martin:

    We’re gonna need pics from that T’giving…..

  18. 18.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    @Martin: Your grandmother sounds epic.

    And you should trot that story out when the inevitable snippiness here spirals out of control.

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    @Martin:

    “And have any of you ever seen a rhinoceros’ erect penïs? It’s HUGE!” as she illustrates with her hands above the turkey, and then spends a moment or two describing the scene you can see above in some graphic detail, with the usual caveats that she couldn’t really see this part given that she was at a bad angle and some distance away, but she could just imagine what that part was like.

    All right. Somebody had to do it.

    Rhino Erection at the San Diego Zoo

    More seriousl, your grandmother sounds like a hell of a woman.

    And the annulled marriage thing sounds both sad and fascinating.

  20. 20.

    MikeJake

    I saw a rhino pee at the zoo once. It took about 45 seconds and the liquid pressure left a half inch divot in the ground.

    Very cool.

  23. 23.

    Brachiator

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Sarah Palin once referred to the continent of Africa as a single country.

    That I got; but I’ve also heard supposedly educated coworkers say this as well.

    And, absolutely true story, I once mentioned that I had travelled to Bombay and was seriously asked, “what state is that in?”

    So, I presumed the snark, but sought the clarification.

  26. 26.

    Martin

    @Brachiator:

    And the annulled marriage thing sounds both sad and fascinating.

    Yeah. My family tree is pretty weird. After the annulment she discovered she was pregnant (frying pan -> fire) and the baby was adopted by her sister who couldn’t have kids. She then went on to marry that sister’s husband’s brother. I didn’t learn that part of the story until I was in college. Explained why of my dad’s 50-odd cousins, only one was consistently around for family events as she was really his half sister.

    And that’s not even remotely the most screwed up thing in the tree.

    But yeah, she was amazing. She worked as a nurse at the university and would bring all of the exchange students home for holidays. So when I’d visit for Christmas, it was always celebrated with half a dozen or more college students from around the world. They’d always keep in touch with her, invite her to visit them (which she did) and when they’d get married and have kids and want to bring the family to visit America, swing by for a visit. It was always interesting visiting with her.

    She was a nurse in WWII and was wounded when the ship she was serving on came under fire. That cut her time in the military short, but as a retired officer, she could fly stand-by on military flights. Being poor and liking to travel, alone with 5 kids in tow (my grandfather served in the pacific and spent most of his life in the hospital with PTSD), she’d haul them down to the local airbase with a request for 6 seats anywhere in the world, and that’d be their vacation – little kids shoved into jumpseats with parachutes on their way to Morocco or Okinawa or Germany. Nobody was spared the adventure. India was her favorite place to visit. I remember her telling me that she’d make a point to visit the slums and give things out. She said there weren’t many places you could go in the world and make a meaningful impact so easily to so many people as there.

  27. 27.

    Brachiator

    @MikeJ:
    RE: I once mentioned that I had travelled to Bombay and was seriously asked, “what state is that in?”

    Maharashtra.

    Good answer, but sadly that was not what this person meant.

  29. 29.

    Comrade Mary

    OK I USED THE FORBIDDEN WORD FOR THE GENERATIVE MALE ORGAN IN MY COMMENT ABOVE SO COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME OUT OF MODERATION PURGATORY I WON’T DO IT AGAIN HONEST.

  33. 33.

    Tom Levenson

    @2liberal: No, but I think my use of the “other” category was as truly a hit on the red as any arrow I’ve ever loosed that way.

  35. 35.

    khead

    @Roger Moore:

    That’s an awesome reference.

    But Khan better not be showin’ up at Pazo either….. even if they do have soft Corinthian leather in the booths next to the dining room.

  36. 36.

    mai naem

    @Brachiator: Yes, it was snark. Let’s give this another try…. Sarah the Grifter from the Northwoods won’t go to the country of Africa but if there were Rhino conservancies in the country of London, she would go there. You betcha. And she’d want a meeting with the Queen to discuss Afghanistan, the Euro, The European debt crisis and the Kyoto Treaty. Also too, to introduce Willow to Prince Harry.

  37. 37.

    NancyDarling

    I think rhinos may be the most misunderstood animal in the “country” of Africa, if not the world. I hear they are both extremely curious and extremely near-sighted. Thus they charge everything first and ask questions later. Decades ago at the now defunct Lion Country Safari in Orange County, CA, we happened to be there at feeding time. The rhinos were crowded around the keeper’s pick-up truck like a bunch of hungry ranch steers. The guy was in the middle of the herd, banging their heads with a feed bucket to move them out of the way so he could get their food out of his truck.

    And Martin, I’ll see your grandmother’s rhino appendage and raise her a walrus one. They are beyond huge!

  38. 38.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Martin:

    But yeah, she was amazing.

    __
    Holyfuckingshit, you aren’t kidding. Why is her biography not on the shelves at a bookstore near me, if not now, then at some point in the foreseeable future?

  40. 40.

    JGabriel

    Rhino porn filmmakers have no sense of porn structure. By which I mean, hey, where’s the money shot?

    .

  41. 41.

    Mnemosyne

    Since this is an open thread, I’m going to whine about the goddamned migraine that had me down for the count today. I’m debating whether I should take myself down to the pharmacy to pick up my (unrelated) prescription or try to make G do it for me. I may have just enough cabin fever to decide to do it myself once the sun goes down. (Bright light makes ’em worse.)

  42. 42.

    Triassic Sands

    @Brachiator:

    A rational concern.

    I saw a video once with a female elephant whose leg had been broken when a too-large male mounted her. It was heartbreaking watching her try to keep up with the herd on a broken leg. It didn’t end well for her.

    These two rhinos seem reasonably well-matched in size, so maybe the risk is not so great.

  43. 43.

    Mustang Bobby

    First clip: “Hey, are you done yet? There’s some serious mud that needs wallowing in.”

    Second clip: all that’s missing is some Barry White and a bottle of Ripple.

  45. 45.

    JGabriel

    @NancyDarling:

    And Martin, I’ll see your grandmother’s rhino appendage and raise her a walrus one. They are beyond huge!

    Link? You know what they say: If there’s no YouTube video, it didn’t happen.

    Sigh. Modern love terrifies me.

    .

  49. 49.

    Svensker

    @Triassic Sands:

    I saw a video once with a female elephant whose leg had been broken when a too-large male mounted her. It was heartbreaking watching her try to keep up with the herd on a broken leg. It didn’t end well for her.

    That’s men all over, isn’t it?

    (JK)

    A friend had turtles and she finally had to put the male turtle in a separate tank because he was causing the female’s back legs to atrophy, since she was pinned down all day while he was banging away. He got a ceramic turtle instead and spent all day banging on THAT. His tank stank to high heaven, the little horndog.

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