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You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Balloon Jobs / In which I post another diary that boils down to “What He Said”

In which I post another diary that boils down to “What He Said”

by Soonergrunt|  May 7, 20121:01 pm| 89 Comments

This post is in: Balloon Jobs, Because of wow.

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If you’re not reading the Rude Pundit, well, you’re just missing some of the funniest, most incisive commentary on the correct side of the internet.

Some choice excerpts:

In re Newt Gingrich ending his “campaign for President”:

And so it was that on May 2, 2012, one of the most disgusting, spitting pustules in the vile recent history of the diseased American body politick finally decided that he had had enough of people despising him in public. Yes, Newt Gingrich realized that his quest for the presidency was so quixotic that Sancho Panza would have just stabbed himself in the heart to avoid it.

So, like the complete debased cocksucker that he is, the kind of bloated, herpes-ridden old dude you find in the bathrooms of shitty bars, begging you through the glory hole in the stall wall to let him blow you just so he can feel something akin to being wanted, Gingrich of course ended his campaign with a head-slappingly self-aggrandizing piece of delusional stream of consciousness that seemed more like the rantings of someone who had had acid slipped into his Metamucil.

Also, it’s time for another Balloon-Jobs thread–who’s looking for a job?  Who knows about a job opening?  What’s out there, and how can we help each other out, and while we’re at it, who has a recent success story?  Got a promotion or a new job?  Lets hear about it.  I’ll go first–if you are unemployed or underemployed in any number of professions, you should definitely be searching and applying at www.usajobs.gov especially if you are a Veteran, or a disabled person, but especially if you are a disabled Vet, even if your disability is not service-connected.  Come to work for the best employer there is, the American Taxpayer.  Right now, my agency, Veterans Affairs, is preparing to hire a LOT of IT personnel for virtualized work.  That’s right–you can make good money working from home supporting a worthy cause, the health and welfare of Veterans.  Hell, when I type it out like that, it almost looks like a scam.

Anyway, let’s hear what you’ve all got for and about employment today.

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Reader Interactions

89Comments

  1. 1.

    ceece

    May 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    had an interview Saturday for a full time teaching gig. Went okay, I think, but I won’t know more for a week or two.

    I’ve been part time at multiple locations for 5 or 6 years now due to shitty budgets, and it sure would be nice to have multiple classes at one school, and maybe a file cabinet to call my very own.

  2. 2.

    gaz

    May 7, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    ETA: WRT to rude pundit’s write up of National Prayer day.
    I think it’s very effective to join those prayer rallies and pray for the prayers to unharden their hearts and find the face of Jesus Christ.

    This tactic is not only biblical, but it is very effective, I think. My faith community does this periodically, whenever the Jesus misappropriators decide to fly the false flag of hate and bigotry.

  3. 3.

    gaz

    May 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    @ceece: Best of luck to you!

  4. 4.

    dug

    May 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Eager for a new funny, incisive (and possibly a little rude) voice, I went to Rude Pundit and tried to read a couple of posts. I guess I missed the funny and incisive parts. Reading it is like watching a monkey fling its poop.

  5. 5.

    Davebo

    May 7, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    I have a client looking for export packing coordinators in the Houston area. Anyone interested email [email protected]

  6. 6.

    pragmatism

    May 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    3 job openings:

    1. In Orange County, CA: Operations analyst
    Qualifications
    • Bachelor’s Degree; preferably in Computer Science or related experience
    • 2-3 years’ experience leading or supervising a technical team
    • 2-3 years’ experience in software support/development
    • 1-3 years’ experience working with Automated Operations or equivalent

    2. In Orange County, CA: Data entry/processing
    Qualifications
    • High School or GED
    • Strong verbal and written communication skills
    • Strong computer skills – MS Office Excel, Word, Access, Outlook
    • Detail-oriented
    • SQL; EDI and XML (optional)

    3. In Tampa, FL: Field Service Scheduler
    Qualifications
    • High school diploma or GED required.
    • College diploma is a plus.
    • 2 years or more experience in a similar role.
    • Experience with field service software – such as ClickSoftware, ServiceMax, Field Power, and Field Connect – would be a definite plus.

    can email me at [email protected] for further info.

  7. 7.

    whiskey

    May 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    I’m a patent examiner looking for a job as a patent attorney in DC

  8. 8.

    Mnemosyne

    May 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    The job market here in So Cal seems to be continuing to improve as long as you’re not tied into the building/housing industry. I keep seeing more and more “Help Wanted” signs. Heck, even my local bike shop is looking for employees.

    It’s not happening as quickly as we’d all like, but the job market is improving.

  9. 9.

    pragmatism

    May 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    @whiskey: if you have any interest in working in-house, try http://www.acc.com (if you haven’t already). usually quite a few patent jobs there. good luck.

  10. 10.

    rlrr

    May 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    The demand for software professionals is booming in St. Louis…

  11. 11.

    jonas

    May 7, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    @Mnemosyne: that’s my sense as well. My brother works in commercial real estate and the restaurant business in OC and the IE — two areas that really took a shellacking in the downturn — and he’s been pretty busy of late.

  12. 12.

    Ruckus

    May 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Looking for something in the west side of LA/San Fernando valley.
    Here’s the catch. I’ve been self employed for 34 of the last 45 years. Have most of my experience in metal working, bicycle repair and mfg, customer service/management but don’t have degrees in any of those. Have looked off and on for the last 8 years, now looking earnestly.
    So production management would probably be best fit, otherwise most likely looking at small biz service work.
    Any ideas where to start other than job sites on the internet which I scour regularly?
    ETA And of course cold calling bike shops etc.

  13. 13.

    MattR

    May 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    I don’t know of any corporate job openings, but I assume my company is always looking for workers in one of its warehouses. OTOH, I would strongly recommend against working in a refrigerated warehouse unless you are completely out of other options.

    In other work news, I received forms in the mail to add a domestic partner to my insurance and other benefits (as my company just added that coverage to its policies)

  14. 14.

    beatty

    May 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    OK I’ll bite. I’m looking for work or clients (or is that considered both?).

    In the Boston area but also Montreal. And I am online, as I am virtually everywhere, as are you all. Or is that ‘youse’?

    http://2k2productions.com/solutions/

  15. 15.

    cckids

    May 7, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    It’s not happening as quickly as we’d all like, but the job market is improving.

    Thats what I see here in Vegas, as well. Not great, by any means, but doing better. I base my opinion, at least a bit, by the ease with which my 2 teenagers got jobs in the past month – both at the first place they applied. (One at a movie theater, one as a lifeguard at a hotel). This after the last year of not even getting called back for interviews, because so many adults with lots of experience were applying for & getting those jobs. Also noticing way more “Help Wanted” signs, with those at less-optimal workplaces (night shift at 7/11) staying up for weeks. Good signs.

    PS, the movie job the teen has comes with an awesome benefit; not only does she get to see movies free, but the family does as well. Very cool.

  16. 16.

    chopper

    May 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    @whiskey:

    personally i’d stick with the examiner job. how long you been doing it?

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    May 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Pasadena may be further than you want to go, but If bike shop work is something you’d be interested in, they had a sign up at Pasadena Cyclery when I was in this weekend picking my bike up. Speaking strictly as a customer, they seem to be a really nice group of guys that skews a little older (ie they’re not a bunch of young punks that would turn you down because of your age). The shop is on Walnut near Sierra Bonita.

    If it must be the Westside, the Linus Bikes showroom in Venice is looking for sales managers.

  18. 18.

    gaz

    May 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    @cckids:

    Thats what I see here in Vegas, as well. Not great, by any means, but doing better

    Nonsense! There are plenty of openings around the outskirts of vegas – for an experienced meth cook.

  19. 19.

    Soonergrunt

    May 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    The Veterans Benefits Administration (the part of VA that administers the disability program, the GI Bill, and the GI Home Loan program, among others) is sponsoring a career fair in Columbus, Ohio, on the 25th of May at the JP Morgan Chase-McCoy Center.
    https://www.facebook.com/events/435997393077790/

  20. 20.

    Starfish

    May 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    @Ruckus: Did you have any clients in your self-employment that you liked that either have a position you would like or would be able to let you know about related jobs?

    In your case, I think that networking would be more important and useful than the jobs sites. Someone who had been self-employed applied to some place where I once worked, and the people laughed at his resume. I am not exactly sure why, but there may be a general skepticism that someone who was his own boss would be willing to take orders if that makes any sense. Or if someone is the type to work for himself, would he steal away a company’s customers if he is put in a customer facing position? I think that these concerns may have to be defused somehow. But I am not sure how to best do it without highlighting that this is what does go on.

    There also may be some age discrimination going on with some of the stuff.

  21. 21.

    PeakVT

    May 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    I haven’t looked at jobs ads lately. Are employers still putting “must be currently employed” in the requirements?

  22. 22.

    gnomedad

    May 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    Right now, my agency, Veterans Affairs, is preparing to hire a LOT of IT personnel for virtualized work.

    Do you have a link for this, please?

  23. 23.

    cckids

    May 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    @gaz: Really? Opportunity abounds, apparently. Yay Vegas!!

  24. 24.

    Yutsano

    May 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    @Soonergrunt: Also too: a LOT of folks have been bitching about the massive understaffing of the IRS this last filing season, so our hiring freeze may be going the way of the dodo here very soon. And if we get the budget we anticipate, there will be about 20K hired all over the country. No official word yet though.

  25. 25.

    AdamK

    May 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    Does Rude Pundit always grab for the
    homophobic “cocksucker” metaphor? Because he could have picked the shuffling degraded old Uncle Tom, or the hand-wringing money-grubbing unctuous old Jew instead.

  26. 26.

    gaz

    May 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    @cckids: Warning: The working conditions absolutely suck. =) No retirement plan, since nobody retires from that. They get shot, blown up, or (if lucky) arrested. Saves on pension plans though!

  27. 27.

    Soonergrunt

    May 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    @gnomedad: It’s one of those “any day now” things. Right now, what positions are opening are restricted to current employees of the various regional IT organizations, but since we’re talking (just in my own region, 02, for example) roughly double the number of current IT personnel, those other positions will have to be opened up. Keep an eye on http://www.usajobs.gov

  28. 28.

    Beagle

    May 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    My SO and I are looking to relocate to the East Coast from Southern California, and we would like for one of us to secure a job first. Right now it makes more sense for that to be him (for a number of reasons). He is a software engineer with a security clearance, so obviously DC makes a lot of sense, but he’s had no luck finding something as yet. Anyone know of any leads? Could be anywhere DC and north. I’ve got family out there that I’d like to be closer to, which is why we’re looking to move.

  29. 29.

    Culture of Truth

    May 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    I met The Rude Pundit once. So very rude.

  30. 30.

    goethean

    May 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    I can say for a fact that the housing market in Chicago is improving or inflating. Or at least, the latest wave of foreclosures that the banks are putting on the market are at a higher price than the previous waves.

  31. 31.

    Culture of Truth

    May 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    I mean in a good way

  32. 32.

    eemom

    May 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    I think Rude Pundit is effin brilliant myself, but he’s not for everyone.

    And he’s sure as shit not for anyone like some on this blog who get their panties in a twist at any flavor of snark that’s not blessed by the Uber-Peecee Police.

  33. 33.

    eemom

    May 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    @Culture of Truth:

    Shrill, too.

  34. 34.

    Raven

    May 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    CAT has broken ground on a big plant in Athens GA and here is their job site.

  35. 35.

    Schlemizel

    May 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    @AdamK:
    Why do you feel cocksucker has to be homophobic? Many women are cocksuckers & nobody feels thats an issue.

    That bit, like all the work of the great rude one is meant to be a joke. If crude, harsh language is a problem for you I would highly recommend avoiding his comments. For the rest of us there can be something cathartic if a full blown (no pun nor homophobia intended) screeching assault verbal assault on the degraded pustuals that inform the wingnut battalions. Little Andy will get a bad case of the vapors & need smelling salts and I understand that but don’t confuse what rude does with actual politics. Its a purgative that allows sane liberals the chance to get that build up of shit, built up from repeated contact with wingnut “thinking”, out of our systems without saying it out loud.

  36. 36.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    May 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    One note of caution regarding veterans/disabled preferences for hires here in Club Fed:

    The “preference” will most likely get you thru the “sifter”, or to put it in Fedspeak “you’ll make the cert”. Translated: your application will not be rejected out of hand but will move onward to the selection committee for that position.

    However, if you have no applicable job skills for the position and it just so happens other people do, believe me, the other people will get the position.

    Yes, I’ve worked for Club Fed going on 27 years now and my rinky, dinky office just went thru an amazing (for us) slate of hires. Some on the selection committee raised an eyebrow or three when they saw applicants who had “made the cert” but had no relevant job experience until it was pointed out “they have veteran’s preference of one form or another”.

    I also know from about 10 years back, if veterans preferences are pushed on the agencies too hard, they’ll find ways to advertise the position so as to minimize who can apply for it. I’m not the HR guy here saying “don’t hire vets”, I’m just relating what I’ve seen during my time on the non-DOD side of the federal gubmint when it comes to hiring. Back when I worked for DOD, quite frankly it wasn’t much different: if agencies felt they were getting a bunch of non-qualified (for the specific job) vets shoved at them, they’d work the system so as to minimize that to a certain extent.

    Okay, enough doom and gloom. SG is correct: never overlook coming to work for us, despite the fact the Repups in Congress hate us and that a future Republican administration would look to outsource every job they could get away with (I watched the Bushies do just that). Also, be patient with the process.

    And don’t expect much. Still, if you’re a vet with the job experience or skill set for a specific job you see at usajobs, apply for it. Your military background in that case will help.

  37. 37.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    May 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Still looking for software developers – recent grad to senior level – at L-3 in Greenville, TX.

  38. 38.

    Raven

    May 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Right now, my agency, Veterans Affairs, is preparing to hire a LOT of IT personnel for virtualized work.

    But I still can’t register for benefits completely online, right?

  39. 39.

    catclub

    May 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    @gaz: @gaz: Probably also meth experienced cooks.

  40. 40.

    Comrade Mary

    May 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    @gaz: I hear there are crime-fighting opportunities around there, too.

    EDIT: Large version, suitable for desktop wallpaper. Or so I hear.

  41. 41.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    May 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: As a veteran, I look at it as a tiebreaker if everything else is equal. Since it’s hard for everything else to be equal, I don’t put much faith in it getting me a job.

  42. 42.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    May 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    @Ruckus: Background like yours, you want to be talking to a manufacturer, not a shop. Travel is usually a requirement, to palces like Korea and China.

  43. 43.

    kdaug

    May 7, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    @Ruckus: Make a damn bike. Get some tube steel and make the best goddamn bike that anyone has ever seen. Crazy awesome, with wings or something, one that turns heads when it goes by.

    And give it away or sell it for cheap.

    You’ll get work.

  44. 44.

    cckids

    May 7, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    @gaz: But you can work from home!

  45. 45.

    gaz

    May 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    @cckids: ROFL

    ETA: On a serious note, been there done that. Quit my 100% telecommute position last week, and I’m not looking back. It’s highly overrated and has numerous downsides. =)

  46. 46.

    Ruckus

    May 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    @Mnemosyne:
    @Starfish:
    Thanks both of you.
    The bike shop thing may be best for getting back into the workforce instead of being in the ownerforce. I have about a week of work here helping my friend getting a more long term living arrangement ready but then I’m going whole hog on the bike shop thing. I’d like something more in management which takes me to Starfish’s comment. My customers in mfg, which I left about 17 yrs ago are on the other side of LA. Commute just too far to start with, although for the right job I can move. The thing about getting back into the job market after being self employed is true. People, including some that know me have no faith that I can take orders and do what someone else wants. But we are always doing that for work. I had customers who wanted something completely stupid and I would try to gently and kindly dissuade them but it was their money. I’d build you a pink car with green interior if you wanted to pay for it. I’d be sick doing it but I’d build it.

  47. 47.

    Raven

    May 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    @gaz: Not me, I love it.

  48. 48.

    Jebediah

    May 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Well, I am currently looking for work in television post-production. I am an AE and almost all of my experience is on the Avid (I have only rarely worked with FCP [spits] although i now have a copy at home so i will be refreshing my familiarity with it.)
    I have been trying to hold out for union work- since my wife and I have both had some cancer, and she is self-employed, my union-provided health care is particularly important.
    Although I am an AE I will consider offers for EP positions. (haw haw haw)

  49. 49.

    Soonergrunt (mobile)

    May 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @Raven: tippy should be able to do that with the VA eBenefits site. I’m mobile at the moment so you’ll have to google it. Sorry. And yes, that site is a royal pain in the ass, too.

  50. 50.

    Raven

    May 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    @Soonergrunt (mobile): 5×5

  51. 51.

    MattR

    May 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    @gaz: I hear that. I did not think I would be so annoyed by working from home full time. Maybe I wouldn’t be if I had a big enough place that I had an actual office area instead of co-opting my dining room table. OTOH, I am spoiled and don’t think I would be able to go back to the rigidity of an office setting where you have to show up to work at the same time (wearing pants) every day.

  52. 52.

    Chinn Romney

    May 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    You can use profanity in an effective manner. It usually works best in small doses. South Park’s ‘Longer, Uncut’ was an exception, they piled it on, yet it remained mostly funny. And there was a purpose behind to the extended tirades. The Rude Pundit is a hack. A little of him goes a very long way. Unfortunately you never get just a little, the guy has no sense of touch at all. If you like Adam Sandler or are otherwise stuck in some stunted stage of adolescence then I’m sure you love him. Good luck with that.

  53. 53.

    JR

    May 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    I start a new job tomorrow morning! First time I’ve had work in 372 days (but who’s counting?) I’ll be working for the AFL-CIO through the election.

  54. 54.

    Amanda in the South Bay

    May 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I’m feeling pretty desperate lately-I graduate late next month, no job, and I suppose I could continue with Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits by continuing to take classes, but that’s only a short term solution. Its hard.

  55. 55.

    Frankensteinbeck

    May 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I got a new job. Finally. Even more beautiful, that job is ‘I’ve signed two publishing contracts and I’m printing out the third to sign right now’. Then, after a quick break, back to the editing notes they sent me on the first book. Busy busy busy, and it feels SO GOOD.

  56. 56.

    gaz

    May 7, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    @MattR:

    where you have to show up to work at the same time (wearing pants) every day.

    They make you wear pants? The horror!

    I like a good skirt myself. A long one, with cuts in the sides, so the straps and buckles on my skull-stomping boots are in full display.

    Pants are boring. I’ve never seen anyone improve their lot in life by wearing pants. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE! =)

  57. 57.

    PeakVT

    May 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    @gaz: Skirts and kilts all the way.

  58. 58.

    middlewest

    May 7, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Just applied for an office job at MN VA, we’ll see.

  59. 59.

    brendancalling

    May 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    a “job”? What’s that? I haven’t had one since June. And my fiancee lost hers late last year too.

    We’re both looking (me more than her, because there’s a lot more grant writing work than there is architectural conservation) but our goal is to open a 30 BBL craft brewery in Philadelphia in 2014. In fact, if you are going to be in Philadelphia June 1-10, we’re pouring at two events.

    What’s hilarious is that joefromlowell (everyone’s favorite amoral troll, and what a debt we owe to whichever juicer came up with that title) went after me for brewing saying I’m an out-of-touch elitist. for making beer.

  60. 60.

    ruemara

    May 7, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Thanks! I have a friend in Pasadena who’s terribly broke and needs a job. She can at least ring things up and do clerical. I try to help people if I can.

    @MattR: YAY! congrats to you and your dp.

    Congrats to JR and Frankensteinbeck (contracts to publish! wowee).

    I had a nice phone interview for a graphics job in San Antonio, we’ll see. First interview in about 6 years. If I can use it to crowbar my current employers to pay me fairly and give me the hours that my position demands, it would be wonderful, because I love my job, but I’m being driven onto the streets working it. And I get to say goodbye to the house, on that note, this weekend. I’ll miss my lovely first home, but, things is things. I wish USAjobs.gov had more opportunities for loyal, upstanding non-citizens with good alien standing. Rather sucks. But I understand why.

  61. 61.

    heywatchthis

    May 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    I’m a solo business lawyer in Los Angeles. I specialize in contracts, contract negotiations, and intellectual property issues (copyright, trademark).

    Email me at [email protected].

  62. 62.

    mzrad

    May 7, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    Because I had the good fortune to pursue degrees in English literature/literary criticism, I have the writing and analytical skills to generate content for my Central Coast Foodie blog.

    Because I had the good fortune to get sick of grad school on the way to my PhD (yo: ABD), I developed the digital editing skills and familiarity with code that has empowered me, through my WordPress site, to publish myself and step right past The Man who might wish to silence me.

    Grant-funded business counseling sessions with several marketing professionals helped me fine-tune my business documents and trouble-shoot my income-generating plan for the site, especially since I took no business classes in school except for Micro and Macro Economics.

    After 1.5 years of steady development, we’re finalizing the site design and the foundational information while we make connections online and in person for developing our paid and in-kind sponsorship partners. We’re just about to slide into fifth gear with audience and sponsor development with so many seeds planted over the last year finally starting to grow and fruit.

    Not only do I have a room of my own and my own income (a writing/editing company, especially targeted toward Central Coast wineries), but with my website/blog, I now have my own printing press. It’s a very exciting time to be a writer with something to say.

    Thank god for my English language skills: content is king, baby.

  63. 63.

    gelfling545

    May 7, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    @Soonergrunt: FOr Vets in the WNY area
    http://wnyvhc.org/event_details.php?ID=16

  64. 64.

    MattR

    May 7, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    @ruemara:

    @MattR: YAY! congrats to you and your dp.

    Guess I should have been clearer. That change did not apply to me, but I was still quite happy to see my company made it (and that they did not make people wait until open enrollment at the end of the year)

  65. 65.

    Jerzy Russian

    May 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    I am a faithful reader of the Rude Pundit. He is not for everyone, that much is clear. He has had some truly funny posts, like the post from 2/07/2008 called “Bush Prays, Jesus Pukes.”

  66. 66.

    Soonergrunt

    May 7, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    @gelfling545: Yup! VA Stand Downs are great things. Dental care, health visits with doctors, shots, benefits briefings and assistance to sign up for various services by various agencies. I did site support at a Stand Down at a local homeless shelter a few months back, and it was a very fulfilling experience.

  67. 67.

    Rusty

    May 7, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    If you’re willing to re-locate to Dubuque, Iowa or Columbus, Missouri, I encourage anyone to go to IBM Careers website and apply for any position at these 2 locations that you think you might qualify for. Even if you don’t necessarily have all the certifications or exact requirements, or your experience isn’t a one to one match, I still recommend applying for the position.

    A couple of examples… in Columbus there’s a writer/trainer position open, and in Dubuque there’s a service request coordinator position open. Anyone with some project management or project coordination experience might qualify for the latter.

  68. 68.

    danielx

    May 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    @AdamK:

    Trust me, the Rude Pundit is an equal opportunity offender. His descriptions of the adventures of Karl Rove’s leather slave are…indescribable.

  69. 69.

    South of I-10

    May 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    My boss passed away a couple of months ago, so if someone in SW Louisiana is looking for an experienced paralegal, let me know. I’ve spent the past 13 years doing insurance defense.

  70. 70.

    Ruckus

    May 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    @kdaug:
    You’d think so wouldn’t you?
    I no longer have the facility I need for that. I do still have my frame jig and welder though.

  71. 71.

    Ruckus

    May 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    @Forum Transmitted Disease:
    Thanks!
    That may be a great idea.

  72. 72.

    Ruckus

    May 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    @Mnemosyne:
    Applied for job at Pasadena bikes
    Sometimes one never knows where an application will lead.

  73. 73.

    the fugitive uterus

    May 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Lee Papa is pretty merciless, but i like it.

  74. 74.

    the fugitive uterus

    May 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    Also, it’s time for another Balloon-Jobs thread

    Thank you. Perhaps you could explain to John sometime just wtf a Balloon Jobs thread is about, i guess he’s never been unemployed ;p

  75. 75.

    the fugitive uterus

    May 7, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    @Ruckus: best of luck on that! pulling for you to find something soon.

  76. 76.

    the fugitive uterus

    May 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck: Congrats! that’s wonderful!

  77. 77.

    Raven Rant

    May 7, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    I am an experienced Avid editor in the Los Angeles area. I also have some experience with Final Cut Pro. I was recommended for a job last Thursday, but have yet to get a call.

    Fingers crossed. Looking for a documentary/reality editor?

    [email protected]

  78. 78.

    LanceThruster

    May 7, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Only because the bike biz was mentioned, there’s an estate home in Leona Valley that might be one the market soon. It was owned by a WWII vet who had his own bike shop there.

    He did Graves Registration in the war (gathering dog tags and body parts) and was a constant tinkerer on the homefront (therapy?). He built a miniature railroad complete with pedal car engines, a 60′ hand excavated tunnel leading to a hand built rock trestle on the side of the hill.

    The granddaughter is trying to keep it in the family but the uncle wants to cash out.

    The place is truly unique.

    I may try to contact Huell Howser of “California Gold”

    And best to all those job seekers and job “creators” (i.e. those actually looking to hire, not the d-bags who just want massive tax breaks claiming to be waitig for them before ‘creating’ a job or two).

  79. 79.

    demz taters

    May 7, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    Not a job but I was just notified today of a new program for unemployed vets up to age 60. Check it out here.

  80. 80.

    Jebediah

    May 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    @Raven Rant:
    I assume you are in the “I Need an Editor” group on FB?

  81. 81.

    EIGRP

    May 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    @Rusty: I would beware of going to IBM unless you’re applying for a sales position. Check out Robert X. Cringely and see if you think he’s right about them eliminating upwards of 85% of the US work force in the next few years.

  82. 82.

    Ruckus

    May 7, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    @demz taters:
    Missed it by this much. (holds thumb and forefinger every so slightly apart)

  83. 83.

    JoyfulA

    May 7, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    @Raven: Me, too. I’ve been working 99% or entirely at home for decades, and I’d hate to have to go somewhere specific at a particular time with a given unchanging set of people, etc. It does take self-discipline to get something done without the structure, though.

  84. 84.

    Chris Grrr™

    May 7, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Hooray JR and Frankensteinbeck !

    Tech support / server admin / content coordinator looking for opportunities in West Michigan, though most of my work experience is in warmer states. Willing to relocate for an apparently secure gig.

    Also – I do well in interviews but am not great at getting that far. Any constructive criticism would be appreciated.

    http://tinyurl.com/7s57ave

    (I’ll try to massage usajobs.gov again too…)

    – tnx. –

  85. 85.

    Bhaal

    May 7, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    I *think* Razorfish SF is hiring…

  86. 86.

    hamletta

    May 7, 2012 at 10:59 pm

    I got a job! I’m Parish Administrator at my church. Our last long-term PA left a year ago, and we had this parade of incompetents, so our pastor asked me and another woman who doesn’t work full-time anywhere to take part of the job. Then he was going to get a bunch of other people to answer phones one day a week.

    I said, “That’s crazy; give me the gig for 90 days. That’ll give you time to find somebody good.” But I’d been there about three weeks when the Council asked me to stay through our call process (our pastor retired last fall). Which means a 2-year commitment. I’m holding out for health care.

    But I was walking down the hall carrying the parish register, the big book of life passages in the congregation, and I thought, “I fucking love this job!”

    I haven’t felt that in a long time. Felt good.

  87. 87.

    Jebediah

    May 8, 2012 at 12:27 am

    @hamletta:
    congratulations!

  88. 88.

    Ruckus

    May 8, 2012 at 1:33 am

    @hamletta:
    “I fucking love this job!”
    First thought about that… You thought that in church?
    I may have to rethink my stance on religion.

    And may I say that having that thought about any job is pretty high praise. For both the job and the person doing it. Congrats.
    Just for comparison, today my job, for which I earn room, no board, was carrying 90lb sacks of cement and shoveling the sand to go along with it. It was 86 degrees, in the shade, which I was not. And I was born before the middle of the last century. I did not have the same reaction as you. On the bright side you should see the place my friend is finishing building for me to live in, which is what the concrete is for. I may not be the luckiest bastard in the world but I’ve moved up quite a few notches.

  89. 89.

    BobbyC

    May 8, 2012 at 3:00 am

    Well, where to start? I was working in corporate IT for a company when I got laid off due to an across the board work force reduction. I had worked there for 13 years. I got laid off on March 2nd. I got a few month’s worth of severance pay so I didn’t try to find work for the first month. I finished a project at home that I had been slowly working on in my spare time.

    Before my career in IT, I was a maintenance mechanic/electrician/electronics technician who specialized in automation and controls. That’s a mouth full I know. So, after my month of drawing unemployment and working on my project I decided I needed to start looking for work. I called and old friend who knows what I can do to ask if he knew anyone who might be needing someone with my skills. He said he didn’t know any IT jobs as a lot of companies are starting to outsource their IT work. The company he works for does that. I mentioned that I would be willing to go back into maintenance and it just so happened that his company needed electricians but the pay was not what I was used to getting. Long story short, I was hired as a facilities electrician. I am working 3 times as hard, 3 times as long for a 1/3rd less money. Also I have to drive 50 miles one way to work, 2nd shift.

    Anyway, I’m working and for that I am thankful. A steady paycheck is better than no paycheck. But it has been an adjustment. For one thing I have to punch a clock. I haven’t been an hourly employee for 15 years. But I do get overtime pay and I have been working some overtime. The company I am working for makes air conditioners. And they are making the shit out of them.

    I have had to get used to doing actual physical labor on the job. Now, I am 56 years old but I am in great shape. I run 5k a day and/or ride a bicycle. But work is actually work now. I’m not sitting behind a desk all day. Since I started this job 3 weeks ago I have run 2000 feet of electrical conduit 40 feet in the air using a lift. I’ve had to get used to working from heights again too. I don’t like heights as a rule,but you gotta do what you gotta do.

    That’s my story. I don’t know if I am going to be happy doing this job, but retirement is 10 years away and I’ve got to work until then. I can’t really complain when a lot of you out there are having trouble finding work. I am extremely lucky that I have the skills that I have so when an opportunity arises I can take advantage of it.

    Peace

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