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Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

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Infrastructure week. at last.

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If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

No one could have predicted…

You are here: Home / These two former presidential candidates are thinking: “I never got away with that”

These two former presidential candidates are thinking: “I never got away with that”

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Rare bipartisan agreement on Mitt Romney taking credit for the rescue of the auto industry:

“Romney said that he was responsible for the auto bailout?” asked Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) in disbelief, unaware that Romney had told a local affiliate in Ohio he should be credited for having saved the industry. “I’d have to look at the context of his remarks. I know that if the auto companies had gone into bankruptcy like thousands of small businesses had to do across America, they could’ve emerged without the sweetheart deal for the unions like was orchestrated by the Obama administration.”

Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) laughed at Mitt Romney’s claim to “a lot of credit” for the auto bailout.
“I just – he cannot be serious,” Kerry told TPM in the Capitol Tuesday.

All through the primary, when Romney would travel to New Hampshire and say one thing on the auto bailout and then go to Ohio and say something else, and then travel 40 miles right over the Michigan line and say something completely different, I have waited for the day he would be the national candidate and responsible for what he says no matter the state he happened to be standing in when he said it, and now it’s finally here.

So enjoy.

Reader Interactions

305Comments

  3. 3.

    dm

    I hear that Erich Segal’s Love Story was based on Mitt and Ann’s romance in college.

  4. 4.

    g

    “Sweetheart deal for unions” = AKA continuing to honor the contract that was negotiated in good faith.

  5. 5.

    SatanicPanic

    Someone on a previous thread brought this up, but the “if we talk about the economy we’re going to lose” ad should have been an early indication of how slimy the Romney campaign should be. I told my wife who doesn’t follow these things about that one and she was shocked- “He has no morals!”

  9. 9.

    pk

    Loo I’ll make it easy for Romney’s people (in fact I wish they’d hire me as their ideas person). Everything good was Romney’s idea. Everything bad is Obama’s fault. This should be the official slogan.

  10. 10.

    eemom

    I was also reminded of McCain yesterday when memeorandum was bleating the story of Romney’s “silence” when some teatwat in the crowd got the mike and said Obama should be tried for treason.

    Y’know, how EVEN fucking John McCain had the decency to speak out when that crazy old crone at one of his rallies back in ’08 said Obama was an Ay-rab.

    I’m tellin y’all, McCain is gonna look like fucking Abraham Lincoln before this is over.

  11. 11.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    The interesting thing is McCain showed it how it’s done “what about all the small business that got no bail out?” never mind the GOP moved heaven and earth to constrict any bail outs or stimulus that would have saved those businesses. Mittens just doesn’t have a clue.

  13. 13.

    beltane

    There’s lying and then there is fabricating pure bullshit up out of thin air. All politician lie to an extent, but Mitt Romney is the only presidential nominee I’ve ever seen that just makes up his own facts and passes them off with a straight face. He is like the Baron Von Munchhausen of presidential candidates.

  14. 14.

    Kay

    @eemom:

    I’m tellin y’all, McCain is gonna look like fucking Abraham Lincoln before this is over.

    I know. We’re going to have to grapple with that, eemom. Well, I’m not. Reconsidering. I’ll say that right now.

  15. 15.

    dmsilev

    @eemom:

    I’m tellin y’all, McCain is gonna look like fucking Abraham Lincoln before this is over.

    I dunno. He was on one of the Sunday gabfests recently and claimed that (a) the most important factor in choosing running mate was picking someone who could do a good job as President and that (b) he totally did an excellent job picking someone who met that criteria.

    I’m just going to go with “the incipient senility that he showed in 2008 has gotten worse”.

  17. 17.

    Turgidson

    McCain shows right there that despite being a shitty candidate himself, he still runs circles around Romney in delivering political doublespeak in a way that’s not immediately ridiculous, laughable, and/or insulting.

  18. 18.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    sweetheart deal for the unions

    The one where the unions agreed to take on all health care costs for retirees in perpetuity?

    Fuck, if that’s a “sweetheart deal”, then McCain really was staying in a Hilton in Hanoi during the war.

  19. 19.

    Keith

    Mitt Romney came up with an idea for a new game console: it’s called the Playstation 4.

  20. 20.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @eemom:

    Y’know, how EVEN fucking John McCain had the decency to speak out when that crazy old crone at one of his rallies back in ‘08 said Obama was an Ay-rab.

    Which because it fits the narrative of Principled War Hero has been allowed to overshadow the moment when one of his howler monkeys screamed out “Kill him!”, McCain visibly blinked, decided to ignore it and went on reading his speech.

  21. 21.

    Randy P

    Actually we have a rare moment of truth from Romney. He didn’t say the bailout was his idea. He didn’t say he deserves credit. He just said he’s TAKING credit for it. Which is truthy.

  22. 22.

    gocart mozart

    Next Romney will deny that he ever was a Mormon and that he was raises a poor black child, just like Obama.

  23. 23.

    dmsilev

    Also, too, the RNC inadvertently told the truth about Romney:

    The RNC’s Hispanic Outreach Director Bettina Inclan said at a pen and pad session with reporters Tuesday that she cannot comment on Mitt Romney’s position on immigration because she doesn’t know what it is.
    __
    “As a candidate, to my understanding, that he’s still deciding what his position on immigration is. So I can’t talk about what his prosposal’s going to be because I don’t know what Romney, exactly, he’s talked about different issues,” Inclan said. “I can’t talk about something that I don’t know what the position is.”

    My advice to Ms Inclan is to pick whatever position you personally find most attractive; sooner or later, Mitt Romney will (temporarily) endorse it.

  24. 24.

    bemused

    I just saw the video of Mitt saying he was not aware of paying any foreign income taxes (youtube and Randi Rhodes site). The questioner even knew the page number of Mitt’s tax returns to quote from, heehee.

    MItt’s nervous titter-laugh drives me up a wall. I think we’re going to be hearing that laugh a lot in the next 6 months.

  25. 25.

    eemom

    @Kay:

    No, not reconsidering, of course. It’s just kind of an interesting philosophical exercise.

    I mean I personally thought the republican party hit rock bottom when McCain picked Palin.

    Now a mere four years later, that particular rock bottom seems like a soaring skylight above the reeking sewer that they’re just STARTING with this time around.

    What will 2016 bring forth, I wonder….

  28. 28.

    Mike in NC

    Mitt Romney creates his own reality wherever he goes. It’s an awesome super power!

  31. 31.

    Steve in DC

    @dmsilev

    Oh I have no doubt McCain thought she was when he picked her. His people were supposed to vet her and make sure she wasn’t a fool. But, they didn’t. It wasn’t till well after her convention speech that they realized she was a dangerous idiot.

    The disaster that was Palin trickled out in small steps. First people started to realize she might have abused her power. Then her baby situation was called into question. Soon after she imploded as a being utterly ignorant about anything. Then we saw the vindictive culture warrior in her and the sheer nastiness out there.

    However McCain wasn’t the one that started the fires to whip up the crazies. And he did try to stomp them out. He also tried to make sure Palin didn’t whip up riots after they lost.

    He’s not perfect, but Romney seems completely willing to play with gasoline to win.

  32. 32.

    Turgidson

    @eemom:

    Yep. I mean, even Sarah f’ing Palin had kind words for cap and trade back then.

    Those were the good ol’ days when the parties got along so famously. oy.

  33. 33.

    gocart mozart

    Romney wrote “Dreams From My Father” except for the dog eating part which was written by Bill Ayers.

  34. 34.

    Culture of Truth

    I think using examples of former candidates getting trashed, like Gore or Kerry, could actually get some traction. The media are not all right wing, but they are easily cowed by the right because the keeps bullying them. Pushback and shaming could have some effect, desperate though they are to prop Mittens up.

  38. 38.

    Hunter Gathers

    Sir Romney the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot,
    who nearly faced the fierce dragon of Angnor,
    who almost stood up to the vicious chicken of Bristol,
    and who personally wet himself at the Battle for Badon Hill.

  39. 39.

    dedc79

    And if GM went out of business tomorrow, I’m sure he’d say good riddance while blaming it all on Obama.

  40. 40.

    David Fud

    RMoney invented the roof rack pet carrier.

    Now available in all 50 states for rubes travelling with their families that don’t give a spit about their dog.

  41. 41.

    gocart mozart

    @Mike in NC:
    Mitt can travel to alternate universes at will but sometimes he forgets which one he is currently inhabiting. Cut him some slack, you try doing that.

  42. 42.

    Betty Cracker

    I’ve known several shameless liars, and the more successful ones had this ability to filter the crap that came out of their pie-holes in such a way as to avoid becoming an object of ridicule for telling dumb, unbelievable lies. Romney seems to lack this ability.

    I am sacrificing elbow macaroni to the FSM tonight, praying that He will touch Stewart, Colbert, SNL, Leno, Letterman, etc., with His noodly appendage so that His faithful servants mock Romney relentlessly for his shameless lies. WE all know Romney is a lying sack of shit. Rachel Maddow has documented it thoroughly.

    But this latest outrageous lie has the potential to jump into mainstream consciousness and reach the people who watch nothing but American Idol and other crap so that they too see what a big fat liar Romney is. Mockery can make it happen.

  43. 43.

    jl

    At this rate Romney, or maybe whoever is advising him to say this stuff, will destroy his own candidacy.

    However, much the corporate media wants to make it a tight race for ratings, or fluff Romney because he represents the interests of the corporate media oligarchy masters (those brave brave journalists , sorry, Edit: corporate hacks with corporate issued press credentials!), too much of this will wreck him with the public.

    And too much will force media celeb hacks to put their audience popularity on the line in trying to sell blatant garbage. And they will be forced to throw up their hands and say ‘no mas!’ ‘can’t do it!’ at critical points in the campaign.

    If Romney continues, why? He doesn’t need to.

    If he does continue, my theory is simple: Romney is truly and only, a cheesy, classless, foolish arrogant heel.

  44. 44.

    pragmatism

    mitt rmoney invented the hunger games and twilight in order to capture the future tween girls vote.

  46. 46.

    eemom

    hey, y’all forgot the best one of all from back in ’08: Romney invented civil rights!

    (He said he marched with MLK. TBogg fucking killed on that.)

  48. 48.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    Mitt Romney played all of Hendrix’s guitar parts on the records.

  51. 51.

    Waynski

    @bemused: “MItt’s nervous titter-laugh drives me up a wall. I think we’re going to be hearing that laugh a lot in the next 6 months.”

    Notice that laugh comes out if he’s lying. It’s one of his tells. Faux outrage is another.

  53. 53.

    Alex S.

    Romney has to say it, because he needs to win Ohio. But everytime he tries, he just digs a little deeper. When I look at the Iowa and Virginia polls, I see no way Romney can win.

  54. 54.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Carnacki:

    Mitt Romney invented going into Pakistan and killing bin Laden.

    Why stop there? Mitt Romney actually fired the shot. Osama was just his latest varmint.

  56. 56.

    Tonal Crow

    Another day, another claim by the rooster that he caused the sunrise. What bullmitt.

  58. 58.

    Jay in Oregon

    I’m sorry, Senator McCain, but Senator Kerry did have the correct answer for that.

  60. 60.

    JPL

    So is Mitt compulsive or pathological liar? Maybe he’s a pathological, compulsive liar. In fact he admitted that he lied in his pro-choice comments and support for planned parenthood.
    When will MSM ask Mitt how to tell he’s telling the truth?
    haha

  61. 61.

    kay

    @Turgidson:

    If you read Romney’s (original) NYTines editorial on the bailout, he supports investment in green energy.

    But that was the 2008 Romney. That’s the now-famous “let Detroit go bankrupt” Romney.

    There are tens of examples like that. He’s really in a class by himself on cowardly pandering.

  62. 62.

    Turgidson

    @jl:

    And too much will force media celeb hacks to put their audience popularity on the line in trying to sell blatant garbage. And they will be forced to throw up their hands and say ‘no mas!’ ‘can’t do it!’ at critical points in the campaign.

    What makes you think they’ll do that? They never did it with Bush until Bush became less popular than anthrax in spite of their fluffing. And they never did it with McCain or Palin. They still haven’t done it with Paul Ryan.

    I suppose you could be right, since Mitt’s brand of mendacity is far more transparent and insulting than the aforementioned. And like I said in an earlier thread, we can at least be comforted in the knowledge that Mitt, like Gore and Kerry, isn’t the kind of cool kid the Villagers usually like to have in their clique, so they might just give him wedgies on that basis alone.

  64. 64.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    And Mitt Romney’s not ready to say it just yet, but he’s been looking at pictures of the Obama kids and he’s thinking about going on “Maury” to demand paternity tests. They just have a Romney look about them, Mitt thinks.

  65. 65.

    Villago Delenda Est

    McCain continues to disgrace himself with his remarks. “Sweetheart deal with the unions.” My ass.

    What a fucking dickweed he is. Now I know why he survived the POW camp…the North Vietnamese wanted to punish us.

  66. 66.

    pseudonymous in nc

    Mitt Romney wrote the English-Reformed Egyptian dictionary that Joseph Smith used to translate the golden plates.

  67. 67.

    pragmatism

    @rlrr: my wife forced me to go see the 3rd one with her. i only agreed because we went to cinepolis where they have waiters to bring you booze. it still sucked.

  68. 68.

    General Stuck

    Mitt Romney is a mega disaster in the making as a presidential candidate. He has ventured so far off the reservation of basic plausibility there is no way back from the pandering bullshit on steroids. So, he might as well just barrel ahead and hope for a miracle.

    He doesn’t even maintain a sense where the wingnuts he represents on the issues are, and everything is free associative campaigning to blend in to whatever audience he is faced with at any given point in time.

    There has already been a twenty five point turn around in voter enthusiasm with dems leading now in that cat. A factor that is critical when crunch time comes to get voters to the polls. And he isn’t even the official nominee yet, with the GE campaign still in nascent stages.

    It is going to be interesting, and likely embarrassing, as it should be obvious this guy is running for president driven by some compulsive demons inside, that have little to do with a healthy ambition to use the POTUS power to make changes according to some vision he has. His reasons for running, could better be confined to a therapists office specializing in daddy complexes. His entire existence up to this point is to be somebody. He used his silver spoon to garner great wealth, but that hasn’t brought the satisfaction of success, so now he wants to lead America along his personal road to salvation – from a deeper sense of not measuring up to his pappy.

  71. 71.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Betty Cracker:

    I have no doubt that Letterman sees Rmoney, like the deserting coward and Dan Quayle, as a sign from FSM that Letterman is blessed, because the material practically writes itself.

  72. 72.

    Bulworth

    I know that if the auto companies had gone into bankruptcy like thousands of small businesses had to do across America, they could’ve emerged without the sweetheart deal for the unions like was orchestrated by the Obama administration.

    Yeah, they could’ve. Or they could’ve just sunk themselves, the industries that depend on and support the auto industry, and the tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of jobs along with them. But, you know, we could’ve given the teabag option a try.

  73. 73.

    Davis X. Machina

    He’s not lying, because he can’t lie…

    He’s a big business macher. In that world he could announce that he was Madame Curie and the flunkies would start polishing lab glassware and looking around for radium

    The boss is never wrong. You never contradict the boss. If necessary, you adjust the world to agree with the boss’s Weltanschauung — never the other way around.

    You’re looking at the real meaning of ‘running America like a business’ — a country run by a non-funny Jack Donaghy.

  75. 75.

    RP

    From now until November every person connected to Obama should say this when discussing Romney: “Why doesn’t Romney take credit for the things that he actually did help create? Like Obamacare.”

  76. 76.

    JPL

    @kay: I think it’s more than that. When he bankrupted factories, did he speak about saving them or closing them? If I were a betting person, he used the word save or something close to that. He talks about being a job creator to this day and that has some truth to it because he created jobs overseas.
    He’s a compulsive liar and made millions deceiving people.

  78. 78.

    Culture of Truth

    Romney won a Tony Award for How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying

  79. 79.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @General Stuck:

    Rmoney will be crushed, utterly, by Obama.

    The only question now is will Rmoney manage to take Boner and the GOP majority in the House down with him.

  80. 80.

    Martin

    I’m not sure which was the better moment – when Mitt Romney landed that USAir jet on the Hudson or when he lead Seal Team Six in Abbottabad and shot OBL in the face.

  82. 82.

    Culture of Truth

    Romney created Facebook, but Mark Zuckerberg totally stole his idea.

  83. 83.

    jl

    @Turgidson:

    You may disagree, but my recollection is that they did throw up their hands with McCain/Palin in 2008.

    Bush was a disciplined campaigner, who stayed away from issuing statements that contradicted factual history.

    His big pitch on the first campaign was an income tax cut, where there were no well known historical facts, and the media could rely on purported experts to shill a ‘he said she said’ story. And no media celeb risks his audience cred going along with a policy that will save taxpayers a few bucks at tax time.

    But, as I said, others may disagree.

  85. 85.

    pragmatism

    dick cheney shot Rmoney on a hunting trip but the buck shot did no harm to him.

  86. 86.

    David in NY

    Look, all he said was that he was “taking credit” for all that stuff he didn’t do (except the dog carrier, which was totally Ann’s idea). He didn’t say he actually did any of it!

  94. 94.

    jibeaux

    Mitt Romney saved 6 next-door neighbors from burning houses.

    Give it a minute, you’ll get it.

  95. 95.

    Villago Delenda Est

    You can land a 737 on Mitt Rmoney’s shoulders.

    Oh, wait…Tweety said that in 2008!

  96. 96.

    Culture of Truth

    “No Wonder Banks Won’t Give Credit, Mitt Romney Took It All”

  99. 99.

    gene108

    What choice does Romney have, then to keep flopping around his positions on issues?

    You can please the Republican base or you can please most of the electorate.

    You cannot do both, yet a Republican Presidential candidate has to try to do both.

  101. 101.

    The Dangerman

    @rlrr:

    Let’s hope he loses, otherwise it will be 4.5 years.

    He’s toast (and he knows it).

    I pity the poor souls in Ohio and Florida that will get saturation bombed between now and November. Thank the Heavens I’m not in a swing state; I couldn’t afford the bar tab it would take to numb myself after listening to this asshole.

  103. 103.

    David Koch

    Mitt Romney invented the Internet.

    Mitt Romney invented the cell phone.

    RMoney invented the roof rack pet carrier.

    Mitt Romney invented Obamacare.

  106. 106.

    redshirt

    This might be the most Post-Modern candidate ever. He in fact does not exist, but merely materializes in a given moment, taking the shape of whatever container he finds himself at the time. There is no “Mitt” there, except Mitt is everywhere.

  107. 107.

    jibeaux

    Mitt Romney invented Post-Its, and later wrote the dialogue for “Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion” where they claim to have invented Post-Its as an in-joke.

  109. 109.

    Turgidson

    @jl:

    I’ll grant that Bush, for all his faults, crimes, and atrocities, stuck to the message when he was campaigning. Although he and Cheney and the entire GOP team were lying their asses off with complete and utter impunity during the 2004 campaign and were never once called to account that I can remember. Heck, they got Rather fired for trying to nail them and screwing it up. But the lies in that campaign were a lot smoother than Romney’s – no doubt about it.

    I guess, once the starbursts wore off, they weren’t completely in the tank for Palin, but I think that ticket got off pretty easy overall though. Fucking Bill Ayers was a bigger deal to them than pretty much anything McCain/Palin said or did.

    McCain was the “awesome bbq guy” though. Romney’s just a soulless stiff. That works in our favor, at least.

  110. 110.

    jl

    Also, some one needs to monitor exactly how well, or not well, the Romney campaign corporate press ego massage effort goes. That will be important too.

    My prediction is that Romney will give lousy tire swing and BBQ.

    Probably roll out some crummy cookies look like they come from 7/11 or something and heated up composite BBQ ‘rib product’ (hey, pink slime is going pretty cheap these days. And Romney, from his Staples story, is very impressed with low margin high volume business plans).

    McCain was pretty amiable strolling around the BBQ, and introducing all the freshly made and perfectly crusty fried chicken and whatnot. Romney not so much.

    I don’t even want to think about Romney’s plans for ‘regaling’, assuming he has any.

  112. 112.

    gene108

    @General Stuck:

    Mitt Romney is a mega disaster

    Oooooohhhhhhhhhh….New SiFi Channel 9:00 p.m. Saturday original movie…Mega Disaster:Mitt Romney.

    I can’t wait for it.

    I just wonder, who they’ll cast to play Romney?

  114. 114.

    rlrr

    @The Dangerman:

    I think the Republican establishment (Rove, etc.) knows it. They’re going to concentrate their efforts on the downstream elections and hope to regroup in 2016.

  116. 116.

    JCT

    I’m sort of shocked that there is no twitter feed running some of Romney’s imaginary accomplishments. There are so many.

    As I noted on the other thread — this blatant falsehood may have finally tipped the balance a bit.

    Now we just have to put up with him for another 6 months.

    I’m really hoping someone asks him to weigh in on that odious Kansas bill from the other thread..

  118. 118.

    ira-NY

    Mitt sang Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” while campaigning in Harlem.

  119. 119.

    Culture of Truth

    Mitt Romney has spent years building up an immunity to iocane powder

  121. 121.

    Brachiator

    @gaz:

    Al Gore invented the environment.

    Mitt Romney invented both climate change and the solution to it.

    @jibeaux:

    Mitt Romney invented Post-Its, and later wrote the dialogue for “Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion” where they claim to have invented Post-Its as an in-joke.

    Michael Nesmith’s mom was one of Mitt Romney’s wives.

  122. 122.

    gene108

    @The Dangerman:

    I’m not in a swing state, but I’m in the Philly TV market, so I expect a fair bit of PA-centric Presidential advertising to be on my TeeVee…

  123. 123.

    schrodinger's cat

    @jl:

    My prediction is that Romney will give lousy tire swing and BBQ.

    Plus remember, no booze or coffee. Obama should ply them with the best scotch and cappuccinos.

  125. 125.

    SatanicPanic

    @The Dangerman: As a CA resident who lived through Meg Whitman campaign, I feel their pain. Romney’s vanity campaign is showing all the sigsn of being as stupid as hers was.

  127. 127.

    jl

    @redshirt: Romney does like France. He might be a post structuralist candidate. Most of those fartastic French frauds are gone now though, so we on our own in terms of doing a really absurd analysis.

    Sorry, may have let my personal opinions on some of those dudes leak into this very considered and objective comment on this august blog of political analysis.

  128. 128.

    jibeaux

    Mitt Romney was the first woman in space.

    I may only be amusing myself, but these are damn fun.

  132. 132.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @gene108:

    I just wonder, who they’ll cast to play Romney?

    It has to be Bruce Campbell. Just has to be.

  141. 141.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Chekov: Ah, quadrotriticale! I’ve read about this, but never seen it before.

    Kirk: Does everyone know about this wheat but me?

    Chekov: Not everyone, Captain. It’s a Mitt Womney inwention!

  146. 146.

    trollhattan

    Willard’s new campaign manager has given him a standard answer for any question, from this point forward: “Awwww, shucky ducky.”

    “ShEEEEeeeeyIT!” was considered but rejected as unpresidential.

    Who let the dogs out?

  155. 155.

    The Dangerman

    @SatanicPanic:

    As a CA resident who lived through Meg Whitman campaign, I feel their pain.

    I’m a SoCal guy; Whitman’s campaign was brutal.

    ETA: Wasn’t Whitman campaigning the same time as Fiorina? I’m trying to block out those memories even though it’s only been a short while. How did California survive it?

  156. 156.

    jl

    Off topic, but haven’t seen it noted. sorry no time for link. But looks like drop in labor force over last few months was due more to retirements, close to expected retirement age, than discouraged workers.

    So, as far as typical voter experience goes, drop in unemployment rate will be seen as a positive development.

    Maybe some one brought it up in the post on long run trends in labor force participation rate a few days ago, but I did not see it.

    Things still looking slightly up on the economy for Obama, lets hope recent signs of weakness in the admittedly weak economic recovery are mostly statistical issues, and not early signs of a stall out.

  160. 160.

    John D

    @Bulworth: The US auto industry is over seven MILLION jobs, including the supply chains. The big 3 going bankrupt would have permanently eliminated well over 1 million of them, possibly as many as 3 million. Most people have no clue just how big the american manufacturing sector truly is.

  163. 163.

    scav

    Touching Mitt Romney will cure scrofula and his coming was foretold in all reputable books of prophesy.

  165. 165.

    jl

    @The Dangerman: The Whtiman campaign media shelling was brutal in SF Bay and Central Valley too, from my memory.

    Metaphorically makes Verdun look like a picnic, in terms of epic marathon media carpet bombing.

    I still have media shell shock from it, and political ads make me jump and run for cover.

  167. 167.

    Culture of Truth

    Mitt Romney bought a chocolate factory and fired all the oopa-loompas

  169. 169.

    LanceThruster

    Mitt Romney doesn’t have to wait for the Mormon afterlife to command his own planet.

  172. 172.

    David Koch

    Romney was around when Jesus Christ had his moments of doubt and pain. Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.

  174. 174.

    jl

    My friends. Mitt Romney invented the epically bad, transparent and counterproductive, and truly cut rate discount dime store political lie.

    And that may be close to truth. If we search the annals of cheesy cheap jack candidates, we may find that Romney only reinvented it.

  175. 175.

    pk

    @rlrr:

    I wonder what George Romney would have to say if he were alive today…

    He’d say “Kill me now”!

  181. 181.

    patrick II

    “I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry’s come back,” he told an Ohio television station Monday.

    Notice he doesn’t say “I deserve a lot of credit…”

    He is comfortable taking things he doesn’t necessarily deserve.

  187. 187.

    scav

    Ah, the Little Mittler. Putting the I’m in plausible and then queue-jumping and insisting on top-billing.

  190. 190.

    LanceThruster

    When in danger, when in doubt
    Run to Mittens, scream and shout
    Load the cannons, fire the guns
    Raise the signal flag, “Well Done!”

  191. 191.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Culture of Truth:

    Mitt Romney bought a chocolate factory and fired all the oopa-loompas

    __
    Dammit! John Boehner’s gonna need to down another double Scotch after hearing about that.

  194. 194.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Mitt Romney to God: Hey! You! Get off of MY cloud!

    __
    On the seventh day, while God was resting, Mitt Romney fired all the angels and replaced them with cheap labor from down under.

  195. 195.

    burritoboy

    And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

    And the Spirit of Mitt moved upon the face of the waters.

    And Mitt said, Let there be light: and there was light.

    And Mitt saw the light, that it was good: and Mitt divided the light from the darkness.

  196. 196.

    JPL

    This post is funny but it’s doubtful that it will be covered by the networks. They have decided that lying is appropriate for repubs.

  197. 197.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Who are you? – The Vorlon question.

    What do you want? – The Shadow question

    What do you want to hear? – The Rmoney question.

  200. 200.

    Jacquelyn

    So, which auto makers are in South Carolina? I mean, no one jumped on that line! If they weren’t Ford or Euro-Asian, then they were BAILED OUT!

  203. 203.

    LanceThruster

    Little Mittler Lyrics (apologies to Nick Lowe)

    Little Mittler, what you doin’
    Is the passion inflamed again, again
    Little Mittler, where you goin’
    Is it go go night again tonight
    Ever searchin’ for the action
    But the action don’t want to know
    I said all along you’re a tough one
    (Little Mittler)
    Little Mittler, what’s the matter now
    Can’t you settle for the center of attention
    Little Mittler, now I’m serious
    Let me guess why you knocked me
    Off your guest list
    As the world turns
    Atthe edge of night
    And the seed is shot and sown
    l’ll make a Little Mittler of my own
    (Little Mittler)
    When the goin’ gets tough
    The tough get goin’
    Every now and then
    l can see ’em runnin’, runnin’
    You can talk with them
    You can be shot with them
    But you’ll get no change
    Only shootin’ at ’em long range
    See you someday soon (Little Mittler)
    Selfish pleasure, yeah (Little Mittler)
    With the one I Iove (Little Mittler)
    Now you’re not alone…yeah (Little Mittler)
    With the one I Iove (LittLe Mittler)

  204. 204.

    David Koch

    Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
    Sold in a market down in New Orleans
    Scarred old slaver knows he’s doing alright
    You shoulda heard Mitt just around midnight

  207. 207.

    Villago Delenda Est

    You say you want to spend the winter in Firenza
    You’re so afraid you’ll catch a dose of influenza
    You live your life like a Canary in a Mitt mine
    You get so dizzy even walking in a straight line.

  208. 208.

    David Koch

    Romney invented “New Coke”

    Romney directed “Ishtar” and “Hudson Hawk”

  209. 209.

    LanceThruster

    Mitt doesn’t always not drink beer, but when he does, he not drinks Dos Equis.

  213. 213.

    stratplayer

    @Citizen_X:

    Mitt Romney founded Mormonism.

    Actually, he personally dictated the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith from the inside of a hat.

  214. 214.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Lies, lies
    I can’t believe a word you say
    Lies, lies
    Are gonna make you sad someday
    Some day you’re gonna be lonely
    But you won’t find me around

  219. 219.

    mdblanche

    When the first wrong was done to the first Indian, Mitt Romney was there. When the first slaver put out for the Congo, Mitt Romney stood on her deck. Is Mitt Romney not in your books and stories and beliefs, from the first settlements on? Is Mitt Romney not spoken of, still, in every church in New England? ‘Tis true the North claims Mitt Romney for a Southerner, and the South for a Northerner, but Mitt Romney is neither. Mitt Romney is merely an honest American like yourself-and of the best descent-for, to tell the truth, though Mitt Romney doesn’t like to boast of it, Mitt Romney’s name is older in this country than yours.

  221. 221.

    trollhattan

    Q: Who’s the unusually white private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks?
    A: Mitt!

    Q: You’re damn right. Also, too, who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?
    A: Mitt!

    Q: Can ya dig it? Who’s the cat that won’t cop out
    When there’s danger all about?
    A: Mitt!

    Q: Right on. You see this cat Mitt is a bad mother–

    A: Shut your mouth!

    Q: But I’m talkin’ ’bout Mitt!
    A: Then we can dig it!

    Q: He’s a complicated man, but no one understands him but his woman.
    A: Marie Osmond!

    And, scene.

  223. 223.

    bemused

    Over at Think Progress: next week Mitt will fundraise at the home/manse of Phil Frost, the Chairman of the Board of Directors of Teva, major manufacturer of contraceptives including Plan B. Huh. Mitt is really making my head hurt. Howza he gonna ‘splain this to the fundies?

  224. 224.

    LanceThruster

    Call me Mitt the breeze
    I keep blowin’ down the road
    Well now they call me Mitt the breeze
    I keep blowin’ down the road
    I ain’t got me nobody
    I don’t carry me no load

    Ain’t no change in the weather
    Ain’t no changes in me
    Well there ain’t no change in the weather
    Ain’t no changes in me
    And I ain’t hidin’ from nobody
    Nobody’s hidin’ from me
    Oh, that’s the way its supposed to be

    Well I got that green light baby
    I got to keep movin’ on
    Well I got that green light baby
    I got to keep movin’ on
    Well I might go out to California
    Might go down to Georgia
    I don’t know

    Well I dig you Georgia peaches
    Makes me feel right at home
    Well now I dig you Georgia peaches
    Makes me feel right at home
    But I don’t love me no one woman
    So I can’t stay in Georgia long

    Well now they call me Mitt the breeze
    I keep blowin’ down the road
    Well now they call me Mitt the breeze
    I keep blowin’ down the road
    I ain’t got me nobody
    I don’t carry me no load
    Oooh Mitt the Breeze

  225. 225.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    Mitt Romney discovered a truly marvelous proof of why he should be President. Unfortunately the margins of our political system are too narrow to contain it.

  226. 226.

    scav

    @bemused: what part of believing in the trilogy would be your first clue? Speaking of which, that’s no doubt what Mitt sees when he looks in the mirror.

  228. 228.

    eemom

    So this good man dies and goes to heaven, and he’s waiting in line outside the Pearly Gates, when suddenly this car with a dog carrier on top comes speeding by and crashes right through. The man demands angrily, “Hey, who is that guy, who does he think he is?” and St. Peter whispers “Hush! That’s God! He sometimes likes to pretend he’s…..”

  230. 230.

    mdblanche

    Mitt Romney has a portrait of himself in his attic that is growing older even as his own appearance stays the same. He is claiming the depreciation on the tax returns he won’t release.

  231. 231.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Mitt Romney solved Fermat’s last theorem, repaired the Hubble, and beat Deep Blue at chess.

    (Damn, hate getting to these threads so late.)

  234. 234.

    LanceThruster

    Then Mitt’ll be all around in the dark – Mitt’ll be ever’where—wherever you look. Wherever they’s a fight so hungry people can eat, Mitt’ll be there. Wherever they’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, Mitt’ll be there… Mitt’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad an’—Mitt’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry and they know supper’s ready. An’ when our folk eat the stuff they raise an’ live in the houses they build—why, Mitt’ll be there.

  235. 235.

    JPL

    The local Atlanta CBS news just covered Mitt’s latest lie…
    I’m shocked..

  236. 236.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I met Mitt Romney on the street last night
    He seemed so glad to see me, I just smiled
    And we talked about some old times and we drank ourselves some beers
    Still lying after all these years

  237. 237.

    LanceThruster

    Mitt determined the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42!

  238. 238.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ


    There’s a man in the newspapers we all know
    He’ll take us back to a long time ago
    He don’t eat nothin’ but Santorum’s shit
    Well, this cat’s name is-a Romney-the-Mitt
     
    He got a policy advisor that’s a dinosaur
    And he can knuckle your head before you count to four
    He got a big ugly club and a head fulla hair
    Like great big lions and grizzly bears
     
    He’s the toughest man there is alive
    Wearin’ clothes from a Gingrich’s hide
    He’s the king of the GOP jive
    Look at that caveman go!!

  246. 246.

    burritoboy

    Mitt is the Emperor of Mankind!

    (for all you Warhammer 40,000 buffs out there)

  250. 250.

    Ash Can

    Mitt Romney taught Gregory Hines how to dance and Michael Jordan how to dunk.

  255. 255.

    Canadian Shield

    “That is not dead which can eternal lie
    and with strange aeons even Mitt may die”

  257. 257.

    var

    Mitt Romney created social security after democrats wanted to cut spending on the poor during the Great Depression. And funded it with tax cuts for the rich that defeated Hitler and Tojo.

  258. 258.

    mdblanche

    Hiero II may have been King of Syracuse and Archimedes may have discovered the principle of displacement in his service, but the man who forged the king’s new crown out of base metal and covered it with gilt was Mitt Romney.

  261. 261.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @rlrr:

    His father was born in Mexico…

    ,..a country that Mitt Romney discovered in 1942.

  262. 262.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Mitt Romney is the only one Voldemort ever feared.

    Mitt Romney threw the winning pass to David Tyree in Super Bowl XLII.

    Mitt Romney built the Pyramids and summitted Everest 50 years before Sir Hillary.

  264. 264.

    LanceThruster

    @Cris (without an H):

    Man, there’s a lot of unexplained phenomenon
    out there in the world.
    Lot of things people say
    What the heck’s going on?

    Let me tell ya!

    Who built the pyramids?
    MITTENS!
    Who built Stonehenge?
    MITTENS!

    Yeah, man you see guys
    walking down the street
    pushing shopping carts
    and you think they’re talking to Allah,
    they’re talking to themself.
    Man, no they’re talking to MITTENS!
    MITTENS! MITTENS!

    You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
    Down in the Bermuda Traingle
    Mittens needs boats.
    Mittens needs boats.
    Mittens Mittens Mittens
    Mittens Mittens Mittens
    Mittens needs boats.

    Aahh! The Sailing Mittens!
    Captain Mittens!
    Commodore Mittens it is.

  267. 267.

    LanceThruster

    @scav:

    True, but seeing as he was at the restaurant at the end of the universe (Mittenways), he did that also, too.

  269. 269.

    mdblanche

    Mitt Romney is fully functional. His Chief of Security could vouch for that if only she hadn’t been conveniently killed by that tar monster.

  270. 270.

    danimal

    When your public statements are this easily mocked, you’re in real trouble. Keep it up, Mittens and your SuperPac money will be concentrated on South Carolina, Georgia and the Dakotas. OTOH, Utah still looks safe.

  279. 279.

    WaterGirl

    @JPL: Somebody here needs to buy a domain, appropriately named for romney’s lies, and just have a simple form for entering these sorts of comments.

    I’m sure it would catch on like wildfire and I guarantee the media would cover it.

    Edit: Or, alternately, this could be a running thread with a constant link on the front page of BJ throughout the campaign. That would eventually get press coverage, too, I think.

  281. 281.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    Mitt Romney was there in the temple, when Jesus threw the moneychangers out.

  284. 284.

    Steve in DC

    @burritoboy

    If we are going all 40,000 here

    “money for the money god, dividends for the throne of the Mittens”

    or

    “in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only austerity”

  288. 288.

    LanceThruster

    To be Mitt means to understand so thoroughly that the observer becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, lose identity in group experience. It means almost everything that we mean by religion, philosophy, and science—and it means as little to us (because of our Earthling assumptions) as color means to a blind man.

  293. 293.

    LanceThruster

    It’s a hell of a thing, Mitting a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.

  294. 294.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @jibeaux:

    Mitt Romney knows where all the morels are.

    Yeah, a morel is still just a mushroom when all’s said and done. Keep ’em in the dark and throw shit on ’em.

  296. 296.

    LanceThruster

    “Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure Mitten’s got today’s codes?” ~~ Major T. J. “King” Kong

  297. 297.

    burnspbesq

    Mitt Romney jumps so high that when he dunked on Michael Jordan, his knee hit Mike in the forehead.

    Hell, he lies about everything else, why not lie about this?

  301. 301.

    Thoughtcrime

    Mitt Romney deserves “a lot of credit” for the resurgence of the Etch-A-Sketch industry.

  304. 304.

    LanceThruster

    BREAKING NEWS – Rmoney video taped himself trickling down on underwealthed Americans.

  305. 305.

    LanceThruster

    This is the World of Commander Mitt Bragg
    Your hair will curl in the World of Mitt Bragg.
    He fights monsters galore
    And then asks for still more
    Or so says the brag of Mitt Bragg.

    When on the hill the marines plant a flag
    They may be led by Commander Mitt Bragg.
    With a cannon in hand
    He can beat any band
    Or so says the brag of Mitt Bragg.

    Fencing and fighting and round table knighting
    And slaying of dragons, too.
    Shipping and sailing and great harpoon whaling
    There’s nothing Mitt Bragg can’t do.
    Hunting and trapping and gold miner mapping
    And flying to Timbuktu.
    Roping and riding and Indian guiding
    Commander Mitt Bragg comes through.

    This is the World of Commander Mitt Bragg
    Your head will whirl in the World of Mitt Bragg.
    He can do anything
    In his world he’s a king
    Or so says the brag of Mitt Bragg.

    source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/theworldofcommanderMcBragglyrics.html

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