Who’s doing what for the moms in their lives?
I made a large fresh fruit salad, some of which I sauteed in butter for breakfast, and we have steaks to grill for later. We went out to dinner last night because she hates lines. I cook breakfast two or three times a week and dinner once a week or so, so that’s not a whole lot on my part and nothing overly special, so I got her flowers, chocolates, and a spa day, too.
Think about what I’m like here on the blog, and then remember that she has had me in person for years. She deserves a lot. Certainly more than I’ve been able to give her until recent.
Reader Interactions
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cathyx
Sounds pretty good to me.
Jennifer
I’m cooking for mom. On the menu, citrus-cumin-garlic-marinated grilled pork tenderloin with citrus-ginger glaze, jasmine rice, green beans & almonds sauteed in sesame oil, and cold Thai noodle salad.
Yutsano
I’m gonna see if I can’t talk my brothers into taking her to dinner or lunch or something. Most likely dinner as I’m sure one brother is working right now. I get to see her all next week as it is, so I’ll call her up.
Southern Beale
We did Mother’s Day last night to accommodate graduations. We brought the food, presents, etc. I have today off. Yay.
Pouring rain all day today though. And one of the dogs is sick.
Ruckus
Me I’m thinking about all the people I know whose moms are gone. Who can’t take them to dinner. I know of two who lost their respective moms when they were 11. Don’t get me wrong, not blaming the moms, just remembering the people who never really get to forget that today is moms day.
Raven
Although both of us lost our parents “on time” Frank Bruni captures something for those many of us who don’t have living mothers.
Randy P
About to head out to brunch with my youngest daughter and her boyfriend, who came to visit for the weekend. Our own moms (my wife’s and mine) are gone many years.
Raven
@Ruckus: Ding
4tehlulz
Even the liberal Dick Durbin says we shouldn’t judge Mitt Romney based on high school bullying.
At least Hillary Rosen was dissing Ann Romney, not defending her when she made her comment.
trollhattan
Picnic this afternoon with wife.gov and daughter. Good sparkling wine (one must not call it Champagne) and various tasty things, all within eye of a pack of envious squirrels (squirrel protection afforded by the dog).
For mom, I’m left with thinking fond thoughts.
Also, too, know how zealous Republicans are all about protecting us from voter fraud? They would never do anything like, say, hiring a felon to register voters, would they? Would they?
You intuit the answer already.
http://www.sacbee.com/2012/05/13/4486043/public-eye-bounty-hunting-at-heart.html#storylink=cpy
piratedan
@Ruckus: ty Ruckus… today is definitely bittersweet. Going to be my first year without my Mom here so I’ll do my best to spoil my spouse instead. It’s strange how these manufactured holidays can still manage to evoke a sense of poignancy but I guess in the grand scheme of things that there’s nothing wrong with that. To those who are blessed with still having their Moms around, help them enjoy their days.
danielx
@trollhattan:
IOKIYAR.
This has been another episode of Simple Answers to Simple Questions.
Grilling out later, etc etc.
Mnemosyne
Both moms live out of state, so we sent flowers and will be calling them later on.
@Ruckus:
I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was seven but was lucky enough to acquire a second one who loves me fiercely. After hearing so many horror stories about stepmothers who are indifferent or hostile to their husband’s children, I know now exactly how lucky my brother and I were.
Plus I managed to get a mother-in-law who really likes me, so I lucked out there as well.
Southern Beale
Wha. Just heard that Donald “Duck” Dunn died.
Amazing musician. Swear to God, all of the legends are dropping like flies.
BethanyAnne
I got my mom a digital picture frame. :)
Soonergrunt
@trollhattan: So all this Republican concern about election integrity is more one of those “Somebody stop me cause I can’t help myself” kinds of things?
Figures.
jesus h. tapdancing christ
An awesomest review of Pantload’s latest smelly dump:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/markadomanis/2012/05/07/the-tyranny-of-jonah-goldberg/
Discuss.
WereBear
@piratedan: I understand the originator of Mother’s Day became livid over the commercialization of the holiday and spent the rest of her life fighting such.
I’ll call my mother later; I’m in NY and she’s in Florida, but my brother is there, with wife & grandchild.
Nicole
@Mnemosyne: I lost my mom to cancer when I was ten, but, like you, was also lucky to gain a stepmom I adore (though the teen years were not good). I will happily call her and my aunt, who was also there for me as I grew up. They both showed me that “mother” is a verb and not just a noun.
becca
My eighty something mom nixed Mother’s Day with her spawn and,instead, hopped in a car with 3 fellow octaganarians and drove to Florida. 500 miles and four diuretic prescriptions, so maybe they arrive Tuesday, but not to worry.
Mnemosyne
@Nicole:
I don’t think anyone’s teen years are good, whether they have a stepmom or a “real” mom. Unlike some of my friends with their factory-original moms, my stepmom never slapped me during an argument when I was a smart-mouthed teenager.
geg6
I am not a mom nor do I have one any more. But I called both of the sisters who ARE moms to wish them a great day. I was the first for both of them. Granted, both had been allowed to sleep in by their families who left the house to give then “Me Time” when they woke. Which was when I called. LOL! Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Donut
@Southern Beale:
:—-(
No doubt or question that he was one of the pillars to late 20th century soul and R&B…
WaterGirl
@Ruckus: Thanks for that. My mom and dad are both gone, my mom for 27 years, my dad for 17.
I remember the first father’s day after my dad died. There was a big billboard in town, some business advertising to get business as people shopped for father’s day gifts.
EVERYBODY HAS A DAD!
… the billboard exclaimed. I saw that and thought, no, no they don’t, and I burst into tears. And I was an adult at the time. I thought about all the kids that would see that and think the same thing, only worse. Cause there’s the daddy daughter dance, take your kids to work days, etc.
Happy mothers day to all you mom’s out there. And anybody who still has their mom, treat them extra nice for the rest of us.
PurpleGirl
The day is quiet for me. I lost my mother 3 years ago, when she was 93. We had a strained relationship for many years. (Most of my friends had strained relationships with their mothers too.) My feelings about her now are mostly ambivalent — there was good and bad.
schrodinger's cat
Fruit and butter, are you sure, that is not something I would do. I prefer my fruit salad with a dash of citrus, a tiny bit of salt.
Flowers, chocolates and spa day, on the other hand sound wonderful. Happy mothers day to your wife and all the moms out there.
Raven
It would be easy to go off on how Mother’s Day is all commercial and shit. People enjoy it so jam on.
merrinc
@PurpleGirl:
My mother has stage 4 breast cancer and hasn’t spoken to me in over a year and will only grudgingly speak to my sister when my sister calls her. I am too stubborn to pick up the phone because as was made clear to me from my first memories and reinforced with much frequency throughout my life, I am a shitty daughter and her greatest disappointment. But yeah, I can agree with ambivalent because I have stopped caring.
On a brighter note, my own two kids seem to like me. And my husband bought me a Garmin Forerunner for my birthday so I am following up an easy yoga class with a long, easy run. Peace.
geg6
@PurpleGirl:
Somewhat the same for me, with the difficult relationship with my mom. Nothing like alcoholism or abuse, but just not understanding each other welded to stubborness that could only be genetic. But mine has been gone for eleven years now (Jan. 2001, two years after dad almost to the day) and I’m older and wiser and far enough away from the day to day difficultyof navigating the choppy waters of our relationship to miss her now more than I ever thought I would and to forgive her and myself for not being the person we each expected the other to be. Time and space can heal some wounds.
Nicole
@Mnemosyne: True ‘dat. And, in fairness to my stepmom during my teen years, the many things she criticized me about never included my weight, which was my own mother’s favorite criticism of me.
Lolis
@Raven:
Thanks for posting that. I sent it to my good friend who lost her mom a few years ago, when she was about 26. It can be delicate for me because I spend a lot of time with my mom and I know how deeply she misses her own mother. I can’t really relate to her experience, since I have both my parents, so I hope the article, and some of the comments, make her feel less alone today.
KyCole
Went to my son’s for a brunch. I brought berries from the Farmer’s Market and home made whipped cream. My grandson loved the cream and asked if I could leave the rest. Played with the babies and now home with the dogs and Netflix on a rainy afternoon. Bliss.
jprfrog
This is my first Mother’s Day without my mother, who died last June at the age of 97. She wasn’t an easy soul, but I do miss her. She had a sharp tongue and an excellent sense of humor (except when directed at herself) and told me some of the best mildly off-color jokes I know. Considering that the first 7 years of her life were spent amid the Russian Civil War, in a place which changed hands several times in that awful brawl (and where both sides beat up on the Jews as they both arrived and left) and that she didn’t see her own father until she was 7, she managed pretty well.
On the day before she went into the hospital for the heart operation during which she died, in the home for the aged where she lived she was going door to door registering Democratic voters.
becca
Mother: I love you, son.
Son: I know you think you do.
Albert Brooks film Mother is highly underrated.
Martin
My mom played golf 2 time zones away. Wife requested that I continue with the remodel activities, so with luck the day will end with a fully retextured and painted kitchen.
ruemara
For mother’s day, I sent a nicely worded card with 2 pics of the grandkittens having a snuggle. I don’t think I’ll call. To be fair, I know I come dead last or something thereafter in the hierarchy of things she cares about, but the last time it was made clear to me how extremely lacking in empathy she is, it pissed me off too much to talk to her. But I’m letting go of all that.
Raven
@Lolis: I’m glad it might be of some benefit. There are some bitter people here today.
Corner Stone
@Raven: What do you mean?
Raven
@Corner Stone: Read the comments.
Corner Stone
@Raven: Some people are doing things, some are missing their mom.
Not seeing the bitter part.
Corner Stone
Speaking of bitter. DRONES in mah EEEERRRYYYWWHERE!!
The CIA’s unchecked quasi-military role
“The agency is running large-scale airstrikes, akin to a military campaign. In Pakistan, about 300 strikes since 2004 have killed between 2,000 and 3,000 people — mostly low-level fighters, according to the New America Foundation. The CIA has military-like authority. In Pakistan, and now in Yemen, it can target unidentified individuals gathered in groups or convoys, in so-called signature strikes.”
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
I’m a member of both the dead dad’s club(2001, St. Pats day, Scotch/Irish so there’s that), and the mom’s club(just over a month ago, just turned 94), as well as sister club(4 yrs ago, 65, breast cancer, on mom’s 90th birthday after the party in her hospice room).
@PurpleGirl:
Decent relationship with mom but I think that’s because I took her in smaller doses. Not sure what that says about me. Not a bad person, she took care of me when I was sick(a lot as a child), feed me even though I didn’t like brussel sprouts, always had a roof and a bed, never struck me, so from my experience with moms in general, all in all a good mom. Of course I’m prejudiced.
Schlemizel
Take the time to really let your mom know how much she means to to. Do it today & every time you get a chance. I was fortunate that we had a long good-bye but I would still give anything to have one more chance to tell her in person.
PurpleGirl
One example of why I say my feelings are ambivalent: When she was living in the assisted living place, I was in earshot when she told someone that “I couldn’t teach her [meaning me] Italian, we had enough trouble teaching her English.” Ah, I stutter. I had trouble talking. I did not have trouble learning English. I learned English well enough. I’m the kid who finished college, but she never told people that.
RalfW
My mom passed away in 1996. My dad has been partnered with an amazing woman since 1997. Dad has demetia now, so my partner and I flew down here so she could have a respite weekend with her two kids, their spouses, their kids, and a bunch of dogs. She only called once in 48 hours which I take as 1) she’s having a well-deserved great time and 2) she knows dad is being cared for and she can really relax.
Oh, and I bought her a really cool orchid in a gorgeous pot, something to welcome her back this afternoon.
(And just so’s y’all know, my partner and I are gay gay gay. See how much we gays hate family values? We just spent a grand on plane tickets, rental car and 6 days away from home to convey the message: gays ruin families! [had to snark just a bit. We’re actually happy to help of course])
chmatl
@piratedan: It’s my first Mother’s Day without my mom, too. A very odd, and, yes, bittersweet, day. My mother and I had a somewhat fraught relationship, but I got teary at lunch with my kids and husband when I thought about how I would usually be spending this day.
Raven
@RalfW: My mom’s husband had progressive super-nuclear palsy and she cared for him for six years until he died. No one had any idea the toll it was taking but we’d see things like you describe. Sometimes she’d do anything to get away from him for just a few hours. She did a wonderful job but it cost her ten years of her own life.
abo gato
My mother died 10 years ago at the age of 90. We too had a difficult time, mostly due to her Southern Baptist roots and her beliefs. I have been an ambivalent daughter most of my life. I had some rough times when I was younger but I am a happily married woman now and our son is 21. He’ll be over for dinner later and my husband and I got back a little while ago from a short road trip to Lockhart to eat BBQ at Smitty’s. It was the best brisket we’d ever had. I am making the Bo Ssam from the NY Times for dinner and it was smelling up the house nicely while we were gone. Kind of an overdose of meat products here for us today, but we decided at the last minute to head out for the BBQ. Nice day, nice weather here today. Enjoying the relaxation.
Corner Stone
@abo gato:
Totes jealous. Haven’t been there in a while. So freakin’ good.
It’s a little bit of a haul for me for a day trip but I find an excuse to go by there once in a while coming back from Austin.
Amanda in the South Bay
Fuck it, I got shit on when I called my mother. Wrong pronouns, my dad telling me basically that transitioning was a mistake. And to think, I was actually having a decent day beforehand.
KXB
I sent her a card and a check. I spoke to her just a few minutes ago, and going by the timer on my cellphone, the conversation lasted 2 minutes and 32 seconds. That is actually one of our longer talks. Regretfully, we are mother and son in name only now – too many things have happened over too many years for me to simply let bygones be bygones. I no longer go out of my way to be hurtful, but she is not someone I would spend time with if I did not have a family obligation.
Ruckus
@PurpleGirl:
Ahh… The failures are right out in the front, the success are seldom if ever discussed.
The tough love perfectionist approach. If only you’d do better I wouldn’t have so many things to remind you about.
Maude
@Amanda in the South Bay:
I had a family like that. Mine are all dead.
Tony the Wonderhorse
to all who have Moms that are close to sane, bless you and the time you spend together. It’s more precious than you realize.
my Mom is a crazy alcoholic, I called her and lied and told her I love her but it felt icky for both of us
when I was 14 she took me to see the movie 10, when I was 17 she made a pass at me while drunk
I will probably miss her when she’s dead, that’s about as far as I can go, sorry for whining :-)
Corner Stone
@Raven: Shit. I think you were right after all. As much as it pains me to say it, you old coot.
Raven
@Corner Stone: Even a blind squirrel. . .
vtr
My friend and colleague Craig gave his mother one of his kidneys for Mothers’ Day. The surgeries were this past Wednesday, and both are doing fine.