My old CO from when I was in the 11th ACR just sent me this pic of us on the tank in Kuwait sometime in 1991:
I’m the skinny blonde covered in filth (basically, sand and dust sticking to oil and hydraulic fluid). Tank maintenance sucked. Especially in the desert, because if you forgot to put your gloves on and reached for a tool you would burn your hand.
eemom
looking pretty hawt there, Cole.
Comrade Mary
#raises hand
#coughs
Umm, hubba?
#feels guilty for objectifying
dr. bloor
Look like Val Kilmer, circa Top Gun. Serious studnicity.
Hard to believe that picture was taken on the same planet we’re accustomed to seeing around us.
Jewish Steel
Can you come over and take a look at my tank? It’s making a funny noise.
JPL
internet whistles…
jl
@Jewish Steel:
” Can you come over and take a look at my tank? It’s making a funny noise. ”
Is it a big ‘boom’ sound from the long thingee or a grinding sound down underneath? Might make a difference whether Stud Cole’s department.
Sophist
The kerning on the gun is totally wrong. I call fake.
ErinSiobhan
I love a man in a uniform.
Corner Stone
“Arabian Knight” ?
Jeebus. Looks like the cover pic of a DVD where male American military folk drive across MENA having adventures.
If you know what I mean..*wink*..*wink*
Polish the Guillotines
Mission Accomplished.
Violet
@dr. bloor:
Was thinking the same thing. You’re rocking the Ray Ban aviator sunglasses.
Mike G
@Sophist:
LOL! You win the thread.
John Cole
@Violet:
Actually, I’m not. Those were prescription sunglasses I had made because you can’t wear contacts in the desert (for obvious reasons). I had another pair that changed colors but just did not get dark enough for the desert glare, and then another pair that was just clear, but I mainly wore those.
Which led to the inevitable jokes, because I would always forget to dig out the regular glasses and find myself wearing the permatinted ones after dark. My nickname for much of the rest of the tour was Roy, because I looked like Roy Orbison. Anywhere I would go someone would start singing Pretty Woman. And, of course, there was the inevitable Sunglasses at Night jokes.
Good times. What I would give to spend a week or two with all those guys again.
Violet
How much skinnier were you then than you are now?
John Cole
@Violet: A shitload. Hell, I went into basic weighing about 175, came out at 155. I was probably 160-175 there. At 6’+. I was SKINNY.
Maude
@John Cole:
It wouldn’t be the same. It’s the memory that’s dear.
Violet
@John Cole:
Sunglasses at Night–earworm!
Violet
@John Cole:
You look skinny. A fit skinny, though. Muscle weighs more than fat, so you probably looked really skinny.
Stuck in the Funhouse
You couldn’t get me in one of those things. Helloooo!! duh, BFT, Big Fucking Target. Though that is sorta what someone is floating down from the sky in a big green parachute.
suzanne
Hawt.
Of course, when that picture was taken, I was eleven. And when I think about it in that context…ew.
EriktheRed
I was in the 2nd ACR, John. Never went to Desert Storm, though; by that time I was in the Reserves.
Violet
@John Cole:
Invite them all to West Virginia. You could have one of your weekly parties and stay up all night listening to Little Feat.
Litlebritdifrnt
Can someone please explain to me the “recruits sawing off a goats legs with a tree trimmer” thing that is going on right now cause I am absolutely not going to go and watch the video if it is fucking true, because it would not only make me throw up it would make me want to kill somebody.
grape_crush
@John Cole: there was the inevitable Sunglasses at Night jokes.
“But when you’re cool, the sun shines on you twenty-four hours a day.”
(line from some movie I don’t remember the name of)
Soonergrunt
Fucking DAT.
Mnemosyne
@suzanne:
We’ve been watching “Finding Your Roots” during lunchtime at work and they have a funny story in the Kevin Bacon/Kyra Sedgewick episode where apparently she met him once when she was 12 and he was 19 and he has no memory of the meeting. He only remembers meeting her as an adult and immediately falling for her.
La Caterina
ditto on the hawt. also, too, cougar bait.
JMS
My husband says it must have been hot. He left Kuwait by April.
Raven
If you think that 21 years went fast wait till you see the next 20.
JPL
@Raven: The pictures will be fun. Since you are around, I uncovered a pretty vicious yellow jacket nest while attempting to dig out an old azalea. Any ideas on how to get rid of the critters. Last year another nest was uncovered and I was stung over a dozen times…not fun. Fortunately, I saw the warning signals and hightailed it.
Raven
Here I am 45 years ago in Korea!
Steeplejack
Well, well, well. We got us a gen-u-wine war hero runnin’ this here blog.
Outstanding, soldier! Carry on.
Raven
@JPL: Yea, there is this stuff called Naturalyte. We used it and it really worked.
Gregory
I salute you on Armed Forces Say, Mr. Cole.
JPL
In honor of the blogmaster, I’ll have another.
Raven
@Steeplejack: Ask him about the Doha Dash!
JPL
@Raven: Thanks. After being covered with bees last time, I used 4 cans of wasp spray before they left.
HRA
Pretty cool John and Raven.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: Handsome young man in the Bayonet Division
wvng
Cover a yellow jacket nest with a large glass bowl at night and pile dirt around the edges. They can’t figure out how to dig around it and will starve. If you are brave you can taunt them by banging on the top of the bowl. Come piling out of their hole and can’t get at you.
SiubhanDuinne
Between hawt Cole and hawt Raven, I’m coming over all patriotic-like.
schrodinger's cat
@Raven: You look all young and innocent. Were you just out of high school?
John [email protected]
Great pic, thanks for sharing, also do you have a pic from that era without dark glasses on?
schrodinger's cat
@Soonergrunt: Now we need a picture of you in uniform.
Raven
@schrodinger’s cat: I was 17, I went in on my birthday at the behest of the local magistrate. Too young for the Nam so they sent me to Korea in time for the Pueblo and the Blue House Raid. Got my GED in Korea and actually graduated 2 months before the class of 67 did.
Raven
@JPL: That stuff did nothing for me. I’m serious, this stuff works.
Raven
Here I am with a Bradley this fall.
Raven
@efgoldman: Spelling good. I came home in April and the stateside duty was so chickenshit I bought my way into a unit training to go. By October I was in the Nam.
Raven
@efgoldman: My Dukakis moment.
Riilism
OT, FYI, I don’t know if anyone has mentioned yet…NAACP Endorses Gay Marriage…
Oh, and more hot soldier pics please…
JPL
@Raven: Still a looker after all these years.
Litlebritdifrnt
Here is me with my “audition” photo for a gig at Buckingham Palace.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v641/MsNick40/People/scan0001.jpg
Raven
@JPL: Ha, my old man used to say “if you had a nose full of nickles you’d be rich”!
Raven
@Litlebritdifrnt: Nice shot, can you make it a bit smaller?
JPL
@Raven: BTW..did you watch last weeks Sherlock? Because of the special effects and cinematography, it scared the heck out of me.
Raven
@efgoldman: You got nothin to be ashamed of, it was fucked at best.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Raven: You were hawt even then. And now.
Raven
@JPL: Nah, we missed em all.
David Koch
what did you guys do with the stolen gold?
Raven
@efgoldman: I’m not sure if your pop is still with us but this website has a ton of pictures and unit listings that go back to his time in Korea.
Tour of Duty
The guy that runs it was a tanker officer but I don’t hold it agin him!
Comradde PhysioProffe
Dude, you should totally be able to parlay that picture into getting laid NOW.
Raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Still think so? Port Aransas Texas, 1974.
Soonergrunt
@schrodinger’s cat: Here you go.
This is about 6 years ago, while I was on Mid-Tour leave from Afghanistan.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: I’m afraid that’s an M-1 Abrams Main Battle Tank behind you, brother.
This is a Bradley IFV.
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Hell yes SSG! Standin Tall and Ready for Action!
Elias
Making that into album art right now. These days the Gulf War is retro, you know?
Elias
Making that into album art right now. These days the Gulf War is retro, you know? And you standing provides a nice little box to the left to jam the band name into.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Raven:
Sorry it scrunched it to an avatar on a forum and now I can’t unscrunch it without rescanning it.
Comradde PhysioProffe
Soonerdude: why is your hat all droopy down the one side of your head?
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Crap, I knew that. I got to run the gun turret on the bradley with this fine young trooper!
Raven
@Litlebritdifrnt: It’s still a wonderful shot. Is that Royal Navy?
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Raven: Just about exactly the pic I would have expected in that period of the interim! My favorite I think is the shirtless protest shot.
Mr. Q has a GED also. He was advised by the assistant principal to take it within the year of graduation date, so as to sit for it free of charge. The assistant principal got to tell him he couldn’t graduate due to some missing gym credits; apparently 1.75 years away from the campus caused only a gym deficit! At that time in NY, the top x% of scores on the GED get a regents scholarship for a full ride at SUNY schools. Many years later he got a full ride to get his masters at CCM. So you both are guys with GEDs and postgrad work.
Soonergrunt
@Raven: Quite a bit of the bulk up top has fallen prey to sleeping in and gravity since I retired in 2010. I got promoted in country a couple of months after this was taken, so I managed to keep it.
dylan
looks pretty sandy there.
Raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): It was the topic of my dissertation as well. I wish I’d have known him, I did life histories of GED Success” Stories”.
Soonergrunt
@Comradde PhysioProffe: That is a beret. The most useless piece of headgear the military has. No sun/rain protection, only keeps the top of one ear warm, anda royal pain in the ass to prepare and maintain.
But if they’re prepaired and maintained properly, they do look good.
I prefer the boonie hat, myself.
Comradde PhysioProffe
@Soonergrunt: You do look fancy as shitte in that motherfucker!
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Like this?
arguingwithsignposts
Look at all these true keyboard commandos [email protected]Litlebritdifrnt et. al., there’s a documentary on Hulu called Guarding the Queen which is a pretty interesting look at the Grenadier Guards, and it’s not all furry hats and shiny buttons. (Litlbritdifrnt, you probably knew about it already, but anyway)
Raven
Good civilian use for a boonie hat!
arguingwithsignposts
ETA: I meant you probably knew about the guards already.
AA+ Bonds
FDL had Krugman on tonight. Are y’all going to have Krugman on
Soonergrunt
@Raven: That’s about right. That a blooper you got there?
You carry an M-16 or a .45 with that?
AA+ Bonds
@Soonergrunt:
I am really curious for insight about the proliferation of these, is it really so everyone felt like SF for a second or do they save money or what
Raven
@Soonergrunt: Yea, 79. Carried it next to me in the truck with a 16 hung on that handle that adjusted the windshield on a duece-and-a-half. Most of the time I sat on the flack jacket.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Raven:
Actually Woman’s Royal Naval Service or WRNS (Wrens) prior to the totally worthless integration that took place in the 90s which wiped out our identification “Join the WRNS free a man for the fleet!” They started putting girls in sailors uniforms and sending them to sea and I was out of there after 14 years.
Jewish Steel
@Raven: That pic of you in Korea looks hand tinted. Great shot!
magurakurin
@David Koch:
You gotta stop with them negative vibes, man. Woof, woof!
Soonergrunt
@efgoldman: There’s more than a few days in that history that I’d like to forget. Sometimes I don’t sleep well. I talk to other combat Vets about that stuff. They understand. I don’t mean for that to sound as condescending as it does. You should thank whatever providence you believe in that you wouldn’t understand it.
But for that, most days were pretty good. I was part of a very close group of guys. Younger brother to some, older brother to others, and I’ve never known anyone in my life that I loved like my brothers. We were part of something bigger than ourselves, and did good things. So many of the extremes of my life were in the Army. The happiest and saddest, the hottest and the coldest, the most exhilarated and the most exhausted, the most bored, and the most excited, and on and on.
While I miss my brothers, I don’t miss being in the Army (which is different from Soldiering,) really. In the peacetime army there’s a tremendous amount of bullshit and boredom to put up with, and in the wartime army one can be paralyzed, maimed, or killed without warning or worse, watch those things happen to young men for whom one is responsible. I’ve never lost a Soldier of mine, in three combat tours as a leader. I’ll go to my grave wondering how that is. I’ve seen friends just emotionally and psychologically destroyed by losing a Soldier, and I thank whatever it is that I still believe in every day that my boys came home. A year long combat tour is days on end of mind-numbing boredom, punctuated by minutes to hours of mind-numbing terror.
Some good and dear friends, many of whom are personal heroes, have died in horrible ways in the service of this country.
I loved being a Soldier, and I loved being around Soldiers, and I’m proud of my service and that of my buddies and my troops, and I will always have more fond memories than nightmares. But I don’t miss it at all.
sagesource
@Stuck in the Funhouse: That’s what my father thought too, when they tried to get him to join a tank crew in 1917 in France. Of course, things are a bit better now. They no longer run the oil lines on the outside of the armor for cooling purposes, lol.
Soonergrunt
@AA+ Bonds: Well, GEN Shinseki, who had served in both Armored and Airborne Ranger units was of the opinion that when a large number of units wore berets in the beginning of his career in the 1970s that it was good for morale, and that when the Army restricted their wear to Airborne units, that it was bad for general morale, but good for esprit de corps in those units, and that the Army was becomming more and more expeditionary, like the Airborne units every day and that a good way to remind people that every Soldier in every unit needed to think of him/herself as an elite servicemember in the company of other elites was for the entire Army to adopt the black beret and for the Ranger Battalions, to whom it had been reserved since 1975, to adopt the sand beret, better reflecting their heritage.
That’s what he said anyway.
The whole thing was pretty mismanaged from the get-go.
Keith
Is there a Youtube video of the four of you rapping or lip-synching Chumba-wumba?
Villago Delenda Est
@Soonergrunt:
yeah, I know the thinking behind it, but it still rather ticked me off. Airborne, SF, and Rangers really are special outfits, with special requirements, and they need that distinction, I think.
For the record, I was a “non-elite” but I understood the reason for them having that distinctive headgear.
Soonergrunt
@Villago Delenda Est: I had been Airborne in Italy in the early 90’s before that whole thing, which was while I was in the National Guard. I remember thinking “beret? Really? They fucking suck” for all the reasons I lined out earlier.
I have always thought that the best headgear was the boonie cap. While the new ACH helmet is better than the old kevlar PASGT, lighter and better protection, it’s still hot as hell and after a couple of days in the desert smells even more like rotting ass than the old one.
Will Reks
@Soonergrunt:
I’m not sure if you got out before then but we now wear the pc instead of the beret in garrison. To the relief of pretty much all.
rikyrah
@Mnemosyne:
been enjoying this entire series
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@magurakurin: Ahem. Stop with the negative WAVES Moriarty.
Kudos for the Kelly’s Heroes ref, though.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@sagesource: Re: tanks. There’s a classic Mauldin Willie and Joe cartoon where they’re looking at a tank go by and one says “I’druther dig. A movin’ foxhole attracks th’ eye”
Mike in NC
Nothing looks shittier than seeing soldiers wearing that ugly black beret with the mint-green digital ACU and tan combat boots. What were they thinking?
Mind you, the Navy’s latest uniform choices have been pretty horrible as well. Glad I’m retired.
Egg Berry
@Mike in NC: Maybe they need a “Queer Eye for the Service Guy”
drowning in a sea of red
I will be in Afghanistan in 2 days doing the same
Cassidy
No one ever “misses” the Army. What you miss is the life and people associated with it and that’s really hard to replicate in civilian life. But “missing” the Army? No.
Keith G
@drowning in a sea of red: My best to you, and to your mates.
Ruckus
@Soonergrunt:
I’ve posted here before about being in the navy, joined end of 69, to avoid being drafted into the marines. Got nothing against marines, but I worked for an ex DI in high school and learned that I didn’t want that. Anyway on to the story. Towards the end of my time I found myself in a navy hospital for a couple of months and most of the patients were marines. I heard way too much about war and saw what it did to young men. One of my friends was a sergeant who could no longer send his men up hills in suicide missions. He was the most normal sounding/acting of all. I know why so many vets want nothing more than to forget. I was not sent to Nam, but second hand knowledge was more than enough to make me want to forget. But after 40 yrs I still see those men and hear their stories.
SiubhanDuinne
@drowning in a sea of red:
Stay safe and well.
Yutsano
@drowning in a sea of red: Please keep your head low and stay safe soldier. And pardon that egregious assumption there. :)
Cassidy
@drowning in a sea of red: Head on a swivel, dude.
magurakurin
@drowning in a sea of red:
take care, boss and bring yourself back home safe.
Villago Delenda Est
@drowning in a sea of red:
What everyone else said.
Raven
@drowning in a sea of red: Hang tough.
celticdragonchick
@Cole…
Were you guys running the heavy armor package M1A1’s at the time?
Raven
@celticdragonchick: Cole just posts this stuff and di-di’s.
Southern Beale
Speaking of blasts from the past, Connie Chung’s 2002 interview with Martina Navratilova where she basically tells her to shut her fucking yap Commie scum is truly a sight to behold. A stark reminder of our post-9/11 media malfeasance.
celticdragonchick
@drowning in a sea of red:
Watch your six and stay safe. Sending all my positive thoughts in your direction.
celticdragonchick
@Raven:
Generally true, but he answers once in a while.
celticdragonchick
@Raven:
Generally true, but he answers once in a while.
Raven
@celticdragonchick: Yea, he actually did early in this thread.
MaredeGournay
@grape_crush:”My Science Project”
Narcissus
In 1991 I was 8.
I collected the Desert Storm trading cards.
Soonergrunt
@Will Reks: Guard units were always kind of “meh” about the whole thing. After I got back from Afghanistan, I think we wore berets in ACU once, and it was patrol caps after that.
Elias
I’m mixed on the berets, but the digital camo you see army walking around in public these days is awful. It looks terrible. I know that the Army wants to recruit with a general message of “It’s Halo but you also get camo” but I couldn’t find a better reason to join the Army when I got out of high school than that I would be forced to wear that uniform in public. The fact that I’d have to shoot or be shot in Iraq came a close second (you know, you don’t really think about that part). The Army really needs to find some more attractive dress for when they’re interacting with the civilian half of society.
noodler
Nice photo. I met an army maint grunt last year in Ramstein, he was enroute to AFG, and he had a stopover in “fukin’ it-ly. Super sharp soldier. I hope he had a good deployment and got home safely. We make plenty just like him too.
Mnemosyne
@rikyrah:
Have you seen the one with Wanda Sykes and John Legend yet? We just watched it this past week.
Gates just gets this look when he’s about to break it to someone that their ancestor was a slaveholder. It cracks me up.
YellowJournalism
I used to read a Hollywood gossip site that would refer to a formerly good-looking actor like Kilmer or Alec Baldwin getting old or gaining weight as “fighting the hotness.”
Cole: quit fighting he hotness! Embrace your inner stud!
John Cole
@celticdragonchick: In Germany, yes. Not on that victor, though, which we got from a depot in KKMC.
Ash Can
Hey Cole, is that the tank you fell off of?
Debbie(Aussie)
@Raven: Still a handsome dude. As is John.
ReflectedSky
@David Koch: This made me happy.
Frivolous
@Soonergrunt:
Very handsome picture, sir. Thank you for sharing it.
And I agree that berets are terribly useless.
kdaug
You were skinny?
Not from where I’m sitting, sir.
Omnes Omnibus
Shit, I missed the post pics of yourself looking good in uniform thread. Oh well, maybe another time.
schrodinger's cat
@Soonergrunt: Thanks! Looking sharp.
@Omnes Omnibus: Do you have any of yours? You can still post them, you know. BTW I forget which branch did you you serve in.
Omnes Omnibus
@schrodinger’s cat: Here.
I am the taller guy.
Raven
@Omnes Omnibus: Lookin good LT!
Omnes Omnibus
@Raven: Thanks. Can’t do a pic with a giant bead though.
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus: I have to say that you do look good in uniform! Thanks for sharing.
Omnes Omnibus
@schrodinger’s cat: Thank you, but, of course, I always look good. ;) Besides, too many blondes were putting up army pics. Someone had to represent the brunettes.
suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: I’d do you. Rhetorically speaking, that is.
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus: Humility and good looks, that’s a winning combination! As a person with hair of the darker variety, I have to agree with you about brunettes.
Soonergrunt
@Omnes Omnibus: Did I look blonde to you?
Omnes Omnibus
@Soonergrunt: Couldn’t tell. Stupid hat was in the way.
Pseudo Irishman
Great pic. Question for Cole: Why are some of the APCs still painted in the woodland (or jungle?) camo style? Did you guys have enough time to get everything painted in the desert colors or is there something I’m missing?
Soonergrunt
@Omnes Omnibus: hair is dark brown, with some grey in it these days.