Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Petty moves from a petty man.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

Let me file that under fuck it.

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Open Thread

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That’s right, it is time for the nightly brain fart from deep inside the twisted recesses of John Cole’s mind. Soooo…. I was sitting on the back porch watching the girls run around the yard (and Tunch sauntering, apparently under the hilarious delusion that an obese white cat can be stealthy in a yard of lush green grass), and I was checking on my spiders and looking to see if any of the bats were out yet. When I say my spiders, I mean the three spiders who have been creating webs on the soffit above my back door. I’ve been following them for a couple weeks (and of course I have no way of knowing if they are the same three), but there are three. Sometimes all three of them dive bomb me at the same time. At any rate, I had company over a couple weeks ago, and someone said I should kill them, and I got very, very defensive. “Don’t you dare kill them- they aren’t poisonous and they eat bugs. This is a spider safe haven here.” I feel the same way about the bats which I think are nesting down near the end of my house. They eat a ton of bugs, they don’t cause problems, and if I could train the damned things to shit in my garden, it would be even better.

At any rate, I then started to wonder- what the hell ever happened to bug zappers? Almost no one uses them anymore, but they were ubiquitous in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Anywhere you went you would spend the entire night hearing the distinct crackling sound of bugs being electrocuted, and now I realize I haven’t seen one in ages. Did we just figure out they don’t work, or did people come up with better ways to keep bugs away in the summer?

Then I started to wonder if maybe I should buy worms for the soil in my raised bed garden, or if they would appear naturally. Not sure where that thought came from.

You have no idea how many random thoughts I have like this every single day. It would horrify and cripple most sane human beings.

Reader Interactions

168Comments

  2. 2.

    Elizabelle

    Saw the first fireflies out tonight at dusk.

    And fresh corn for dinner.

    Bring on Memorial Day weekend.

  3. 3.

    Raven

    The activity is known by several different names and the apparatus and techniques vary significantly.[1][2] “Worm grunting” generally refers to the use of a “stob”, a wooden stake that is driven into the ground, and a “rooping iron” which is used to rub the stob.[5] “Worm fiddling” also uses a wooden stake but utilises a dulled saw which is dragged along its top.[1]

  4. 4.

    cathyx

    I always wonder why people want to kill spiders that are outside. They don’t hurt anything or anyone if they are left alone.

  5. 5.

    Tom The First

    At any rate, I then started to wonder- what the hell ever happened to bug zappers?

    Citronella candles came along?

  6. 6.

    Jewish Steel

    They attracted more bugs to the vicinity than they killed? This is just a guess.

    BZZZT!

  7. 7.

    Yutsano

    You can seed your garden with worms for really cheap. Just find a bait shop with live worms. They don’t ask what you’re going to do with them usually, and if they do just growl, “NUNYA!!” and pay the folks. The worms will do the rest from there.

  9. 9.

    cathyx

    Worms will just show up.

    We don’t have fireflies here in the west. Something I miss a lot having a child who hasn’t experienced them.

  10. 10.

    beltane

    The bug zappers were killing the harmless and beneficial insects and doing nothing to get rid of mosquitoes, who are attracted to the carbon dioxide emissions of warm-blooded animals.

    Be happy you have bats. They have become all but extinct here in New England.

  13. 13.

    Raven

    @Yutsano: I’ve read quite a bit that says, at least for compost, you can’t use store bought fishin worms. You need to use local worm that can tolerate local conditions.

  14. 14.

    Citizen_X

    @Raven: So, basically the same way they rustle up the worms in Dune, then, hey?

    ETA: Hey Cole: you know what’s great for killing mosquitos? Purple martins. Maybe you should get some (wild) birds in your menagerie.

  18. 18.

    RoonieRoo

    What Beltane said. They killed beneficials and few of the bad guys. Thank FSM they have disappeared.

    Also the worms will come. Don’t seed them as you need your garden to mature to feed them. I’m pretty sure my neighbors who order beneficials are just helping me as I have what they need and seem to get overloads of beneficials show up during the various times of years that people release in their garden. If you have what they need then they will show up.

  20. 20.

    Maude

    I think there are prolly 9 spiders,in groups of three, working in 8 hour shifts.
    You might be able to tell as they change shifts.

  21. 21.

    MikeJ

    You can lure mosquitoes away from the part of your yard you want to be in with a plastic soda bottle and a little baking soda. Much cheaper than running a bug light, much less buying one.

  24. 24.

    PopeRatzo

    I bought every bug zapper in the Chicago area back in 2003 and lined the floor, ceiling and walls of my basement with them. I had to put in a special transformer because of the huge amount of electricity they use.

    It’s my “man-cave” with a special twist.

    One hit of DMT and I go in there and hit the switch. Terrance McKenna, eat your heart out. I put on old June Christy records and just…groove.

  25. 25.

    BGinCHI

    Greetings BJers from lovely Santa Cruz, CA. We’re out here for a wedding, and had dinner Wednesday night with Loneoak, Mrs. Loneoak, and baby Enzo. Pics were taken with dads and the Xavi & Enzo baby combo (you’ve seen these two right after being born if you’re chained to your computer and saw those threads).

    Will get pics loaded and try to get them posted.

    So there was a small BJ gathering here in the beautiful Santa Cruz Mountains, and fun was had by all.

  26. 26.

    Citizen_X

    @Raven: The worms were bigger (by hundreds of meters). But yes, they brought them up with stakes driven in the sand, with a thumping mechanism attached.

  28. 28.

    Jewish Steel

    You need to use local worm(s) that can tolerate local conditions.

    Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation,@Raven, but I find that strangely poetic/profound.

  30. 30.

    Mnemosyne

    Bats can carry rabies. Make sure all the kids are up to date on their shots if you’re going to let bats hang around.

  31. 31.

    Suffern ACE

    I’ve got nothing to add about bats or worms. However, I know a little bit about chickens. I suppose if I wait long enough, the conversation will get there eventually, sitting here on Johns virtual porch.

  32. 32.

    Brachiator

    Even though the festival is almost over, the Cannes Film festival iPad app is a thing of beauty for film lovers. Ya got your news stories and film coverage, but also film clips, trailers and full audio coverag of festival press conferences.

    Very well done and free.

    Also recommend a mosey over to the sfgate San Francisco Chronicle site and read the three part background piece of the making of the upcoming HBO movie on Hemingway and journalist Martha Gelhorn (played by Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman). I did not know that director Philip Kaufman (The Right Stuff) had drastically cut back on his work to take care of his sick wife, who died of cancer, and how hard it was for him to pick his life up again.

    The film is being shown out of competition at Cannes. Another film with Kidman, Paperboy, looks fascinating.

    Also, too, anyone going to see Men In Black 3 over the holiday weekend?

    I’ve seen a range of opinion from pretty good to sad disappointment. Director Barry Sonnefeld began as a cameraman and had some interesting to say about using 3D effectively in a recent interview I heard today.

  35. 35.

    Baud

    @cathyx: I’ve always wondered what tragic historical event caused so many people in the 70s to think that their furniture was in mortal danger and needed protection.

  36. 36.

    Jewish Steel

    @BGinCHI: Strange, some ISU English dept friends are out there too.

    My dad lived in that area in the early 80s. So beautiful.

  38. 38.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Baud:

    I’ve always wondered what tragic historical event caused so many people in the 70s to think that their furniture was in mortal danger and needed protection.

    Watergate.

  39. 39.

    dr. bloor

    This is the finest post I’ve read in a long while. You are, sir, the Spalding Gray of WV.

  41. 41.

    Raven

    @Jewish Steel: I spent the afternoon at our local Vietnam Vets Memorial Day Weekend Campout kickoff. Being with about 100 drunk redneck Nam Vets will bring out the poetry most rickey-tic, especially if one is sober.

  42. 42.

    Peter

    The best way to grow worms is in a healthy compost pile. You won’t believe the pink, wriggling plenitude next spring when you pitch a fork of it into the wheelbarrow.

  43. 43.

    gbear

    Whatever you do, don’t dump your earthworms in MN, for Pete’s sake!

    All of the terrestrial earthworms in Minnesota are non-native, invasive species from Europe and Asia (There is a native aquatic species that woodcock eat). At least fifteen non-native terrestrial species have been introduced so far. Studies conducted by the University of Minnesota and forest managers show that at least seven species are invading our hardwood forests and causing the loss of tree seedlings, wildflowers, and ferns.

    Minnesota’s hardwood forests developed in the absence of earthworms. Without worms, fallen leaves decompose slowly, creating a spongy layer of organic “duff.” This duff layer is the natural growing environment for native woodland wildflowers. It also provides habitat for ground-dwelling animals and helps prevent soil erosion.

    Invading earthworms eat the leaves that create the duff layer and are capable of eliminating it completely. Big trees survive, but many young seedlings perish, along with many ferns and wildflowers. Some species return after the initial invasion, but others disappear. In areas heavily infested by earthworms, soil erosion and leaching of nutrients may reduce the productivity of forests and ultimately degrade fish habitat.

  45. 45.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    At any rate, I had company over a couple weeks ago, and someone said I should kill them, and I got very, very defensive.

    Maybe it’s a sign of loneliness for those who live alone, but I feel the same way about my 6 and 8 legged critters. There has been a family of spiders living in a corner of my kitchen for a couple of years now, though I’ve never seen them, but they keep their web in pretty good condition, I suspect at night.

    I’ve had Tarantulas come for visits, lizards also too. And some false scorpions, that don;t have a tail to sting you with. No snakes yet, but they are welcome long as not poisonous. And Charlie would try to make friends with any living creature on earth, he is such a sweetheart, it takes my breath away some times when I think how lucky I am picking such a wonderful doggy. I guess I’m pretty far north on the weird scale, but that’s okay. It’s all relative.

  46. 46.

    Yutsano

    @BGinCHI: I have a good friend from college who lives in Santa Rosa (somewhat but not quite nearby) and she’ll take it over her hometown of Boise any day. Even when her job offered her a promotion to move back she couldn’t do it. Of course now she’s eligible for a HUGE step up that would move her to San Francisco. I told her if she didn’t jump at it she’s an idiot.

  48. 48.

    Raven

    @Jewish Steel: It’s borderline depressing, same people, same routine for 25 years. I go out, pay my dues, shoot the shit for a while and jam. Bless their hearts.

    eta, One dude was proudly showing me his defibulator while he knocked down a brew and smoked a camel.

  49. 49.

    catclub

    I like snakes and if a snake were around I would never kill it, but it should be noted that it is likely that a predator population — like snakes, will not drive the prey population to zero. So, snakes are simply evidence that you also have mice.
    Not the best news for humans who dislike both.

  50. 50.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    And since this is an OT, I couldn’t be happier that Luke “Birther” Scott is no longer an Oriole and I am rooting for an all MD final in the NCAA Lax finals. Go Greyhounds and Terps!

  51. 51.

    Paddy

    I am the exact same way about my spiders and bats. Had a friend of a friend run screaming from my bathroom once over a teeny spiderweb and spider. While she shivered I lectured the derb over the fact that spiders in your home are a sign that there aren’t toxic chemicals or paints, they take care of pests and don’t bother anyone, anytime.

    Because it’s such an old home, there’s all sorts of nooks and crannies that the bats get into every year, and my summer would not be complete without having to lead one back outside in the middle of the night. When I had the cats, it was easier to know when the bat arrived (beds as trampolines, and hunting instincts collide), the dogs are slower to figure it out.

  53. 53.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik

    Anyone else watching Real Time?

    Anyone else also want to smack Laffer in the face every time he speaks?

  56. 56.

    hilzoy

    “apparently under the hilarious delusion that an obese white cat can be stealthy in a yard of lush green grass”

    Ha. I have an uncle who had been committing some sort of journalism with the Khmer Rouge, and at some point had to wade across a river into — Thailand? Some adjacent country, at any rate — to get home. With an elephant. Apparently whoever it was said: you need to look inconspicuous. He said: How am I, a portly middle-aged Swede covered to the neck in mud, emerging from a river on the Thai (?) – Kampuchean border with an elephant in tow, supposed to look inconspicuous???

    I don’t know that anyone ever answered that question to his satisfaction. But I’ve always loved the mental image.

  58. 58.

    asiangrrlMN

    I love bats, Cole. And spiders are fine as long as they are outside the house. Inside? Well, my boys take care of that.

    Your random thoughts are nothing compared to mine.

  59. 59.

    J. Michael Neal

    The intensely personal writing project I supposedly wrapped up three weeks ago has now become about 2/3 of the rough draft of a novel. At least I hope it’s about 2/3, but it keeps growing.

    It was just supposed to be a simple, quick character sketch! How the hell did it become this monster that has taken over my entire life?

  61. 61.

    Biscuits

    I hired a gentleman named Hung to clear my front yard which had gone wild with blackberry bushes and other weeds. He came on a sunday with a friend and did it in three(!) hours. No more weeds or blackberries. I feel so civilized!
    can I just say that these two men were the hardest working crew. ..on a Sunday no less.

  64. 64.

    The Golux

    @cathyx:

    I always wonder why people want to kill spiders that are outside. They don’t hurt anything or anyone if they are left alone.

    Don’t say that within earshot of my wife. She’s always knocking them off the overhangs (our house has 3-foot overhangs except at the gable ends), and I have to admit they do make a mess of the window frames; their droppings are liberally sprinkled on the white trim, like itty bitty coffee spills.

  67. 67.

    Brachiator

    @Raven:

    Any On the Road trailers?

    There is a trailer, photos, a 42 minute video of the press conference with director Walter Salles and the cast, and a downloadable press kit in English and French, with photos of the original people that the book and movie were based on, photos of the actors and shots of the film, and an interview with the director.

    Other than that, not much.

    More seriously, a very fun and intelligent use of Internet resources.

    I would really like to see the people organizing the Olympics do something like this, as opposed to fighting over maintaining embargoes and broadcast exclusivity.

  69. 69.

    Anne Laurie

    Then I started to wonder if maybe I should buy worms for the soil in my raised bed garden, or if they would appear naturally.

    We have fat, healthy earthworms in our tomato planters, including the ones that stand clear of the patio bricks on little raised feet. If your soil is good enough to grow plants, the local worms will find it without extra help from you.

  70. 70.

    Heliopause

    Does Doug have a date tonight? The Vatican is up to its nipples in yet another scandal and I haven’t read a word about it on BJ.

  71. 71.

    Origuy

    When I say my spiders, I mean the three spiders who have been creating webs on the soffit above my back door.

    When they start spelling out words in their webs, it’s time to put away the Scotch.

  73. 73.

    gaz

    @cathyx:

    I can lure mosquitoes away by just being there. They love me.

    Oh god, me too.

    Because of this, I’m obsessed with eliminating all sources of stagnant water wherever I’m at. Nasty things, mosquitos. There’s a technique they use in africa where they hang warmed bags of blood all over to attract the mosquitos. I’ve strongly considered this. They eat me alive. If there was ever a justification for using crystal methamphetamine it is this (and no, I don’t) – they hate people that have that in their system.

    Oh and spiders – might be an old wives tale, but I do not squash them inside or out. Outside, I agree with JC, but I’ve also heard that the pheromone release of a squashed spider will attract more. I can’t speak to the veracity of this, but am mindful enough of it that I trap and release.

  74. 74.

    Brachiator

    @cathyx:

    There’s an old French proverb about seeing (or killing) spiders

    araignée du matin, chagrin, araignée du midi, souci, araignée du soir, espoir

    Spider in the morning, distress
    Spider in the afternoon, worry
    Spider at night, hope

  78. 78.

    Mike E

    Bat guano is easily harvested from a bat house: wrap a tree trunk with roofing membrane aka tar paper, leaving some room at the bottom for them to get up inside. Google this method for more details but if they take to this enclosure a pile of black gold will await you at the base of the tree

  80. 80.

    BGinCHI

    @Jewish Steel:

    That is weird. Doubt they are going to the same wedding, but it’s possible. I went to grad school with a woman in the Eng Dept, initials KD. Know her?

    @Yutsano: It’s nice all around NoCal. We’d move here probably, but then again I’d hate to leave Chicago. I’ve almost gotten that city broken in.

  83. 83.

    Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    Our little girl has grown fond of spiders. For a while, she was scared of them, but one day, as we were getting out of the car, she saw an amazing spider on the car door. It had iridescent blue fangy thingies. So, thinking maybe I could help her not be scared of spiders, I went in the house, got a plastic lidded food tub, caught the spider, poked holes in it and we began feeding it moths every night. She named it La La. We found another just like it soon after, and yet another, which she named Ta Ta and Cha Cha Za Za. For her birthday, we got some of those bug pod things, and we kept them all in their own pods (I didn’t know whether they might eat each other). Turns out they were bold jumping spiders, which are pretty cool spiders.

    They lived nearly a year, all of them, and now, every time we see a spider, she asks whether we can keep it as a pet. We have two now, but I want some more bold jumping spiders. I keep my eyes out for them every time I go outside.

    And as for this: “You have no idea how many random thoughts I have like this every single day. It would horrify and cripple most sane human beings.”–well, as somebody with ADD, yeah, I can understand. I bet my own mind is even randomer than yours is. In truth, I’d stack my brain up against anybody’s when it comes to randomness…

  84. 84.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    @Steeplejack:

    How/when did you acquire Charlie? Have your ever told that story here?

    Yea, when I first got him 2 1/2 years ago. Not much to tell, I found Charlie at the local Humane Society shelter, as he’d been picked up and brought there as a stray.

  85. 85.

    TaMara (BHF)

    I love spiders, but I seem to be very allergic to contact with them – bites I think. So any I find inside are gently transported outside.

    I love snakes, too and am constantly stopping on the bike trail to encourage them to move along, as it’s difficult to distinguish them branch shadows. I’ve seen too many squished.

    One bull snake was easily 5 feet long, stretched completely across the bike path. I barely saw him in time to stop. My front wheel got caught in soft dirt and I went down and broke my wrist. Got him off the path though.

    And then there was the rattler I didn’t realize was a rattle snake until I zipped past it and it struck at me. Luckily it was a baby and I was wearing thick socks.

  86. 86.

    Jewish Steel

    @BGinCHI: No, I don’t know her. Must be a bizarre coincidence. CB and his wife EH are out there right now. CB got his PhD at Santa Cruz. I’m sure your friend knows them. CB is kinda larger than life. A hammy prof, you say? Yes. It’s true.

  89. 89.

    Mnemosyne

    @TaMara (BHF):

    G was hiking in the foothills one time and saw something coming at him down the slope that looked like a big, angry snake.

    As it got closer, he was able to see that it was two lizards chasing each other down the hill. Still, it gave him quite a start since we’re in rattler country.

  91. 91.

    Mnemosyne

    @Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):

    Meh. I doubt your random thoughts are much randomer than mine, especially before Concerta.

    I once turned to my now-husband during an, um, intimate moment and said, “Do you realize that Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and Clearwater, Florida, have the same city name?.”

    Well, he can’t say he wasn’t sufficiently warned since he married me anyway.

    (Also, too, if your kid sells magazines for her school and you don’t subscribe yet, get ADDitude magazine. It has really helpful tips and you feel much less crazy after reading it.)

  94. 94.

    Yutsano

    @TaMara (BHF): I am severely arachnophobic. I will, however, consent to a detene: if they stay out of my house I will give them a wide berth. You show up though and you’re Lexie chow.

  95. 95.

    Dead Earnest

    @PopeRatzo:
    Endeared by your mention of Terrance McKenna.
    Thanks for bringing him to mind.
    This eating of hearts you speak of, I’m sure one would be ‘transported’ consuming one’s own, are there other options?

  96. 96.

    Julie

    I never considered sharing the random thoughts that flit through my mind – but since you did share yours, I feel almost normal! :-) Thank you!
    (and we maintain a spider friendly home as well – what the bats from the barn don’t eat outside, the spiders and cats take care of inside)

  98. 98.

    Jack the Second

    All earthworms in the northern United States are non-native.

    Earthworms were wiped out by the glaciers and only spread extremely slowly, so they hadn’t repopulated at the time of the European colonization of the United States. I’m not sure where West Virginia falls on that line.

  99. 99.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Hi hon. I’m getting there slowly although my pain levels were elevated today. I’m doing all right now, I think I just moved something I wasn’t supposed to. Or the fairly large amount of activity today kinda got to me. Oh well, it’s better now plus it’s almost drug time. Off too Loopy Land with me! :D

  100. 100.

    Dead Earnest

    Despite the risk of sounding all erudite and professorial …and why I am seldom invited to parties anymore;

    all arachnoids are ‘poisonous’ as that’s how they make dinner. However most spiders ‘poison injecting apparatus’ is too short to get deep enough into humans to bother us. And what Cole probably meant, come to think of it, is that not all spiders’ juice (when they can get it in us) is toxic enough to bother us much.

    Another spider, bat, firefly lover.

  101. 101.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    I whacked a spider on my porch tonight with my hat and needed paper towel because it splatted all over.

  102. 102.

    Suffern ACE

    @Old Dan and Little Ann: You are now cursed. Unless of course you were hired to whack that spider. Professional assassins are exempt from those curses as long as they are up to date with guild dues.,

  103. 103.

    John Weiss

    There aren’t any bug zappers ’cause they don’t zap the right critters. Good for you! You don’t kill spiders; we don’t either. We have to run ’em out of the house from time to time.
    Bats are good, very, very good. I wish we had more of ’em.

    John, you must have been a lousy Republican.

    Today some of my fellow Dems and I decorated someone’s car for the MD parade tomorrow. There was discussion about putting a stuffed dog in a crate on the roof of the car… It was approved by everyone, but it wound up in the back, looking out the hatchback. Shucks.

  105. 105.

    Dave Trowbridge

    One of the problems with bug zappers was the very fine bug dust they generated, to which many people are highly allergic. The things were reportedly especially hard on people with asthma.

  106. 106.

    John O

    You should really think about trying to slog through Infinite Jest, John. (If you haven’t already.)

    You’d feel way better about your random thoughts if you did.

  108. 108.

    Gretchen

    You should consider getting a worm-composting bin. We have one in the garage, feed it all our vegetable scraps, and get lots of worm compost to put on the raised bed.

  109. 109.

    sparrow

    Wet cardboard on the ground, even sidewalk will attract worms to the underside. Or buy red worms online. They’re cheap and most of em survive shipping fine.

  111. 111.

    sfinny

    Well I should be happy that this was a stay at home work day. But I went out at lunch and had to avoid many worms. Should I be picking them up to add to the community garden? Not going to happen.

  112. 112.

    clayton

    You can take the man out of the wingnut, but taking the wingnut out of the man is much more difficult.

    How did you feel when touched the crazy earlier? Dirty?

  113. 113.

    Joseph Nobles

    @John Weiss: If you put a crate on the top of the parade car, you would have to drive in reverse the whole parade route. ;-)

  114. 114.

    lacp

    You want to see bats? Go to Austin. (Though there are a lot of other good reasons to go to Austin, too)

  117. 117.

    Martin

    @cathyx:

    I always wonder why people want to kill spiders that are outside. They don’t hurt anything or anyone if they are left alone.

    You don’t get your patio table invested with black widows, I take it. At the end of winter I probably clear at least a dozen from the bench that my daughter sits on. I’ve been bitten by a black widow before – it’s… unpleasant.

  118. 118.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @Martin: One of the first pieces of advice I was given upon moving to Australia: always look before you sit on any chair on bench. If you see a small black spider of any variety, kill it without hesitation.

  119. 119.

    Ash Can

    @gbear: Well, hell’s bells, whenever I’ve gone panfishing in the past 30 years I’ve done nothing but feed the little blighters earthworms till they’d burst. (Little bitty crappies, bluegills and perch can strip your hook clean before you know it.) Maybe I should go more often then, with these nasty imported earthworms, with the added benefit of growing the panfish bigger, which makes for more meals, yum yum!

  120. 120.

    reality-based

    Hey, I actually know how to create earthworms where none existed before – parthogenesis, my one magical skill.

    lived in Northern California for 20 years, my house was built on an old compacted pear orchard, meaning my soil was clay, hard as a rock – no worms, pretty lifeless soil.

    I used to go buy a couple hundred pounds of rabbit food pellets (pure alfalfa), layer them 2-to 3″ thick on all my garden beds before the winter, let them get soggy and rotten all winter, turn them in every spring.

    two years of this and presto! lots and lots of worms, where there had been none before.

    Now I’m back in my ancestral North Dakota home, enjoying our lovely loamy soil and bounteous native worms – but if you want to make some from scratch – rabbit food!

    or buy 2 or 3 bales of 100% alfalfa hay, spread it out, run over it with a lawn mower, dig the clippings in – same principle.

  121. 121.

    the farmer

    You can pick up a lot of worms pretty quickly by turning on the garden hose and laying it in the grass in a semi shady spot like under a tree – helps if its on a slight incline so the water spreads out more – and let the water run for a little while. Might have to hunt a little to find the good locations but worms will show up pretty quickly if they’re around. Sometimes by the hundreds so bring a bucket. Then you can transplant them to the raised beds.

    *

  122. 122.

    Mnemosyne

    Keaton had a cling-on earlier tonight, but I couldn’t find it after it fell off.

    G found it. With his bare foot.

    He is not happy with me right now.

  125. 125.

    Ronzoni Rigatoni

    @Raven: Livin’ along Lake Erie, worms were a must for fishing. But we did nothing more fancy than soak the ground, and later after dark, go out with a flashlight. The trick was to grab ’em at the head end. Fast little buggers. If you grabbed for the wrong end they disappeared in a flash.

  126. 126.

    Alison

    Yeah, a dying open thread for me to bitch in.

    I hate being inordinately tired way earlier than usual. I suppose it’s not really inordinate as it’s related to illness, but it’s greater than normal at 11 pm. But I also can’t try going to bed early because that never works for me. Boo, I say.

    Who else is up?

  133. 133.

    Death Panel Truck

    @Maude: We used Shell No-Pest Strips when I was a kid. They were banned, though. Something about them causing cancer. I don’t see anything wrong with giving bugs cancer.

  137. 137.

    Anne Laurie

    Speaking of bats and summer… anybody who has a kid in their lives should get that kid a copy of Bats on the Beach. Among the night’s entertainments (moontanning, racing in cardboard fried-clam ‘boats’) the bats stop at the concession stand for tasty snacks — namely, the flying moths attracted to the stand’s electric bulbs…

    @TheMightyTrowel: In Terry Prachett’s fantasy about “The Last Continent”, a group of powerful wizards are almost buried under a sea of reference books when they cast a spell asking for ‘information on all dangerous animals in [Discworld-Australia]’. A disbeliving wizard asks, what, are there any animals there that aren’t dangerous? And a scrap of parchment drifts down, bearing the message “Some of the sheep”.

  138. 138.

    Alison

    @Little Boots: Nice. Give Walker a kick in the nuts for me.

    Late night mini-infomercials are really depressing. (“mini-infomercials” as in those slightly-longer-than-normal-commercials for “call now to order” crap like stupid hair doo-dads and pajama jeans)

  141. 141.

    Anya

    Imagine a kid is working two jobs (one full time, one part time), taking honors and college level courses at 17, AND supporting her siblings after her parents divorced and abandoned the kids. Occasionally, she misses school because she’s only human and gets tired.

    If you’re a judge looking at a truancy charge for this girl, what do you do? Here’s the answer:

    http://www.kvue.com/news/state/154075555.html

  142. 142.

    MonkeyBoy

    @Cole

    “I was checking on my spiders

    Back when we lived in LA (west of the 405 which meant we lived in the “ocean fog” or “dew zone”) we had some very impressive spiders in our back yard. So much that we named them and when I went on a late-night find-snail and destroy mission I would occasionally pick up a sleeping house fly and throw it into a web just to watch a big momma subdue it and suck out its juices.

    One day my brother came for a brief overnight visit. While cooking dinner outside I introduced him to our named big spiders. The next morning he had to leave early and with him disappeared all of the big juicy tomatoes that had been just picked and were sitting on a windowsill.

    When I later phone asked him about his theft, he explained that we said he could pick our plants, however in the early morning, when he headed out the back door to grab some tomatoes off the vine, he found “Fifi” and her web blocking his path, so he had to settle for just taking our pre-picked.

    He wasn’t experienced with big spiders and didn’t know that if Fifi built a web over our back door we would just destroy it and tell her to go find a better place.

  143. 143.

    Amir Khalid

    @Anya:
    I wonder about the idiot, whoever it was, who decided to prosecute this clearly overburdened girl instead of offering her some kind of public assistance.

  145. 145.

    satanicpanic

    @Anya: That’s fucking heartbreaking- “If you let one (truant student) run loose, what are you gonna’ do with the rest of ‘em? Let them go too?” Judge Moriarty asked. No, stupid. Your job is to decide each case on its merits, or so I thought.

  148. 148.

    Triassic Sands

    There are more than seven billion people on the planet today. I’d be willing to be that at least three-and-a-half billion have minds that are as twisted or even more twisted than J. Cole’s.

    Begin with the religious fanatics, move on to the conservatives (and other radical right wingers), and don’t forget Blue Dogs and Conservadems (admittedly not a large group, but what they lack in numbers, they more than make up for in perversity).

    JC, you kid yourself in thinking there is anything particularly noteworthy about the twistedness of your brain. At worst, I’ll bet it sits on the fattest part of the old bell curve. Of course, we’d be a lot better off in this country if we had another hundred million or so similarly twisted Americans — we’ve just got so damn many dangerous, mindless freaks in this country. I can barely sleep anymore.

  149. 149.

    Raven

    I don’t think I’ve ever gone to bed and had the same thread still going when I woke up!

  152. 152.

    harlana

    You have no idea how many random thoughts I have like this every single day. It would horrify and cripple most sane human beings.

    cleaning brains off computer as we speak

  153. 153.

    harlana

    @Triassic Sands: yes, actually, i wish my thoughts were that cogent and consistent in nature and while not steeped in the inability to seperate myself from the suffering of others. otherwise, i’m really a fun person to be around. :)

  155. 155.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Just in case some readers are not aware of the current threat to bat populations in the United States, from Wikipedia below. FWIW, not caring about bats means you really are not aware of what a key niche role they play in keeping levels of insects, including noxious ones such as mosquitos, under control. It’s sort of like not caring about honey bee hive collapse syndrome till you realize the cost of nuts, fruits, and vegetables just skyrocketed because pollination is not occurring by the bees.

    White-Nose Syndrome (WNS) is a poorly understood disease associated with the deaths of at least 5.7 million to 6.7 million North American bats.[1] The condition, named for a distinctive fungal growth around the muzzles and on the wings of hibernating bats, was first identified in a cave in Schoharie County, New York, USA, in February 2006.[2] It has rapidly spread[3] and as of spring 2010, the condition had been found in over 115 caves and mines ranging mostly throughout the Northeastern US and as far south as Alabama and west to Missouri and into four Canadian provinces.[4][5] According to laboratory research in late 2011, the syndrome appears to be caused by a fungus called Geomyces destructans,[6] but no obvious treatment or means of preventing transmission is known.[7] [8] The mortality rate of some species have been observed at 95%.[9] The US Fish & Wildlife Service (USFWS) has called for a moratorium on caving activities in the affected areas,[10] and strongly recommends that any clothing or equipment used in such areas be decontaminated after each use. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_nose_syndrome

    P.S. Why is blockquoting still broken? The end tag for the blockquote in the text if AFTER the URL. But when displayed, it snaps the quote in half.

    OK, I figured out the problem. Your blog software is scanning for hard line breaks. If it finds one at the end of say the first paragraph, it TERMINATES THE BLOCK QUOTE THERE. The above is displaying inside the blockquotes because I REMOVED the hard line breaks after each of what was originally four paragraphs. Please share with your tech support.

  156. 156.

    Lojasmo

    Bats show up with the fireflies here in SE MN. If you see a firefly, there will be bats.

    Also, too…when I lived in arizona we had a happy family of black widows living behind our toilet for a year.

  159. 159.

    Jennifer

    You have no idea how many random thoughts I have like this every single day. It would horrify and cripple most sane human beings.

    Dude, you should see my google search history. I tell people that the internet was both a blessing and a curse for me…a blessing because, I finally have a handy resource for looking up answers to the dozens of weird questions I have each day, and a curse because…I finally have a handy resource for looking up answers to the dozens of weird questions I have each day. I wouldn’t sweat it though – I kind of think this constant questioning is more of a sign of above-average intellect than anything else, because let’s face it – the people who wonder about things and try to find answers are the ones who discover new things. That’s not bad company to keep.

    Just be glad you’re not a real freak like I am – I catch myself making up number problems to solve in my head at least a dozen times per day. If a product costs x and I have a coupon for 20% off, how much will the final price be? If I’m going somewhere 110 miles away, and so far I’ve travelled 46 miles, I’m X percent of the way there? And so on and so forth. I guess the plus there is it seems this kind of stuff helps stave off brain disease.

    As for the purple martins, they’re great to have around but they won’t eat many mosquitos, mostly because they’re active during daylight hours while the mosquitos are most active at dusk and dark. The one exception – at our old Bull Durham-style minor league park here in Little Rock, they had martin houses all over the place, and they would come out and hunt at night when the ballpark lights were on. Sadly that park has been abandoned, because rich people need skyboxes.

  160. 160.

    grandpa john

    @HeartlandLiberal: @HeartlandLiberal: Just like so many people have no idea whatsoever of the great ecological importance of bees and other plant pollinating insects and the disaster that would occur with their demise.
    As they say “Ignorance is bliss”

  161. 161.

    MonkeyBoy

    @HeartlandLiberal:

    Why is blockquoting still broken?

    Are you unaware of my hack (© 2009 Monkeyboy) of using two underscores to indicate a blank line within a blockquote?

    This problem
    __
    has existed for years.

  163. 163.

    Laura Clawson

    @Mnemosyne: Second the rabies concern with bats. And not just for the furry ones, but for John. I had to have rabies shots in college after a bat flew into the side of my head. Turns out there are a number of recorded cases of rabies where the people did not think they had been bitten so…I was in for one of the most painful experiences of my life.

  164. 164.

    CarolA

    If you make a compost heap and add occasional coffee grounds you will have all the worms you could imagine.

  166. 166.

    IrishGirl

    The only cautionary tale I have on the bats is….and I mean this seriously…make sure they don’t get into your attic space. My ex-father-in-law liked the bats too until he realized they had invaded his attic. You would not believe how much guano had to be cleaned up and how bad the ammonia smell was. They can destroy your house so make sure that even the smallest openings into your attic and/or crawl spaces are closed or meshed over (if you have to maintain air flow).

  168. 168.

    Tatiana

    @Maude: Yep, look for the little time clock and listen close for “Mornin’, Sam”, “Mornin’, Ralph”. Often they’ll plan involved schemes with tiny explosives that need to be cut short because it’s just too close to quitting time.

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