Tom Levenson may have his own “You Can Teach Someone, But You Can’t Make Them Lernean” hydra to swing his wit-sharp blade at, but my Own Personal Skeletor keeps compelling me through the ephemeral mystery of her continued employment at Kaplan Central to scream “We’ve got movie sign!” and head on into the theater once again.
President Obama, I have frequently argued, has been fabulous for the conservative movement. He spurred the creation of the tea party. He helped the GOP win the House majority in 2010 and make big gains in the Senate. His Obamacare has helped revive the Commerce Clause and given a boost to conservative jurisprudence. His refusal to support human rights has caused a bipartisan revulsion and reminded us that foreign policy must be girded by American values. He’s sent independents running into the GOP’s arms. He’s forced conservatives to think hard and express eloquently principles of religious liberty, limited government, free markets and Constitutional democracy.
I don’t think I can breathe right now. This particular combination of freely admitting that the Tea Party was founded solely on the patriotic value of “We believe Obummer is the anti-Christ in Mammon’s monster truck come to send us all to Socialist hell” and World Nut Daily concern trolling deep into the land of freebasing Lester Kinsolving’s socks might actually win some sort of prize for the most densely-compacted block of garbage outside of a New Jersey landfill. Not only does she cop to the fact that the only uniting thing in the Republican party right now is screaming inchoate rancor towards the President, but a conservative hack and life-long Bush fan saying word one about anyone’s human rights record deserves their own personal laugh track to follow them around for a couple of years.
O children, that is but the first paragraph.
Obama also has wrecked havoc in the the Democratic Party. He’s firmly affixed the “tax and spend” label to it after Bill Clinton declared that the era of big government was over. He’s made Clinton into a pitch man for Mitt Romney. His rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline has split the party. His refusal to adopt the Simpson-Bowles commission’s recommendations has turned Democrats into reactionaries, defending the status quo on entitlements. He’s alienated Jewish voters. He’s re-McGovernized the party, which now stands for appeasing despotic powers, turning on allies and slashing defense spending.
Whatever reality that this woman inhabits, I have to report that there, the snozzberries do not taste anything like snozzberries. I’m pretty sure that every Democrat to the left of Harold Ford, Jr. would look at this particular list of stimulus measures, taxing the wealthy, booting the Keystone XL pipeline, ignoring Simpson-Bowles, keeping the safety net intact, and admitting there are Jewish voters out there that think that Israel might not be in the right 100% of the time while cutting defense spending would reply to it with a seventeen-minute standing slow clap. (There are exceptions, but then again unreality is not an affliction just for WaPo folks, and even Slick Willie turned on the charm again today and said “Now wait a minute” on the Romney thing.)
Rubin knows nothing about
a single damn thing the Democratic party.
I found your next problem.
…“House Republicans have spent the past two years taking tough votes on entitlement reform, preparing themselves for an ambitious offensive should 2012 deliver the opportunity to cast those same votes and have them count. The Senate Democrats, on the other hand, have failed to even pass a budget: There is no Democratic equivalent of Paul Ryan’s fiscal blueprint, no Democratic plan to swallow hard and raise middle class taxes the way Republicans look poised to swallow hard and overhaul Medicare. Indeed, there’s no liberal agenda to speak of at the moment, beyond a resounding ‘No!’ to whatever conservatism intends to do.”
That’s because what conservatism intends to do is destroy eighty years of classic liberalism behind Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan’s smiling faces, and a lot of us appreciate somebody standing athwart this particular fecal mountain yelling “No sir, I don’t like it.” Paul Ryan’s “fiscal blueprint” reminds me of the
old Far Side Sidney Harris cartoon with the two scientists studying a blackboard full of complex equations, then near the end is scribbled “Then a miracle occurs” as the step right before the answer is obtained. That’s literally the Ryan Plan, right the hell there. The “miracle” is that cutting taxes for the rich even more than destroying the safety net will somehow create massive prosperity for anyone with a net worth of less than a million bucks instead of adding trillions more to the national debt at an even faster pace than in the last 12 years, and all but assuring such a spiral of crushing inequality that America collapses under the weight of it all. Also, fire will be involved, I’m sure.
Not even Jimmy Carter did this much, I would suggest, to jerk his party to the left and hobble its electoral prospects. No wonder Clinton is on a rampage.
You know how Obama “jerked the party to the left”? He stayed as a fiscal moderate and social left-of-center President while the Republican Party ran 49% of the circumference of the globe to stake out where the “right” is, then declared that the center was 48.975% the global circumference distance from the left. And Clinton’s on a rampage? Where? Through Jennifer’s dreams?
Rather than spin endless excuses and blame it all on money, liberal elites might want to reconsider tying themselves too tightly to Obama’s mast. They have already become quite whiny and sacrificed a good deal of intellectual rigor in trying to defend every misstep as brilliant and every loss as a win.
So do the honorable thing, stupid commie pinko liberal fascist dogs, and surrender to our holy might now, because money has nothing to do with politics. It’s all about honor and decency. When applied to liberals. When applied to Rubin’s side, screw you, we have billions and we will crush you with our intellectual rigor. Also, your mom.
They should take a page from the conservative playbook from the second Bush term. Then, conservatives stuck by their principles, criticized him where appropriate and maintained their integrity. That was a wise choice. Presidents, especially inept ones, come and go, but parties, journalists and political movements need to endure more than four years.
Has anyone bothered to explain to her that the Republican party of 1980-2007 got taken out back and beaten within an inch of its life, and for the last 4-5 years or so its adherents have been purged from politics and replaced with people like Michelle Bachmann and Rand Paul? Not to mention that journalists over the last 3 decades have been run out of town and replaced with Jennifer Rubin, both by a reactionary political movement that showed up the second America got its first African-American President and then proceeded to all but destroy civil politics in America?
I’ll tell you what, Rubin has mastered the tiny pocket dimension where she lives and writes from. It’s like Katamari Damacy, only all the little bits and baubles she runs around rolling up are really discrete chunks of victimization and outrage and when she gets to a certain diameter, she writes a column out of it.
This one’s just maddeningly awful even for her.