Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

Everybody saw this coming.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

People are complicated. Love is not.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

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This is a genuinely great idea

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I was always sorry I never saw “Buddy Cianci: The Musical” so I hope someone takes this Atrios suggestion seriously and makes a musical about Tom Friedman:

It’s the tale of a wealthy white American who travels the world, blissfully unaware that all of the wiley foreigners who flatter his ever thought and deed are just in it for the tips.

All dialogue for the “Tom Friedman” character will be taken from the collected writings and public utterances of Tom Friedman. We’ve got a massive opening number, Bollywood style, sung by every cab driver Tom Friedman has ever met and quoted. Potential opener title: The World is Flat (but the roads are bumpy).

Does Suck on This end the first act or open the second? So much to think about…

Reader Interactions

27Comments

  2. 2.

    Trentrunner

    Patter song in the middle of act 1:

    “Don’t be a hata/Trust my anecdata!”

  3. 3.

    beltane

    Someone could choreograph a fabulous song & dance number about the Green Tea Party.

  5. 5.

    Soonergrunt

    They could throw in a part about how his family loses their asses in the real estate game from bad investments and how he’s saved from ruin by his collection of real witticisms, homespun sayings and anecdotes from his travels around the world.

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    I can’t wait to hear that song of hope for the future, Six Months From Now. It’ll be just like You’ll Never Walk Alone from Carousel.

  9. 9.

    Valdivia

    Sorry, I am not big on musicals in general so the idea of subjecting myself to one about Tom Fucking Friedman? No way. There’s no music in the universe than can make that man ok.

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    @Valdivia:
    Plus, there’s no way The Mustache would let himself be mocked in a mash-up of Bollywood and Broadway musical styles, apt though that would be to his romanticized notions about globalization. But it’s a nice thought exercise.

    (Random thought: if Tom Friedman is the Mustache of Understanding, then what is Sam Elliott the Mustache of?

  12. 12.

    MattF

    But don’t forget– if there’s a gun on the mantelpiece in Act One, someone has to use it by the end of the play.

  14. 14.

    TG Chicago

    @beltane: I was thinking Taibbi could be the antagonist.

    I’d also like sad ballad about the death of Americans Elect.

  16. 16.

    gbear

    The war will be won in six months
    Better bet your bottom that in six months.
    Just thinking about six months
    Clears away the Sunni and the Shia til there’s none.

    When I’m stuck with a day that’s gray and lonely
    I shoot off my mouth and grin and say…

    The weapons will be found in six months
    So just suck on this for six months is what I say.
    In six months, in six months, we’ll fix it in six months.
    It’s always just six months away!

  17. 17.

    burnspbesq

    I’m going to need another gallon of Nature’s Miracle to get the stench from this pile o’ crap out of my carpet.

  18. 18.

    gbear

    @gbear: crap, I missed part of a line in the first verse.

    ‘Better bet your bottom that in six months we’ll have won’.

  21. 21.

    Alison

    I’m picturing a number with people wearing giant mustaches with little city-scenes decorating them, a la the hats in Beach Blanket Babylon.

    (For the unfamiliar – and if so, I highly highly recommend it if you’re ever in SF, or somewhere near, or can get here for a night. One of the absolute best live performances of any kind.)

  22. 22.

    Joseph Nobles

    “Suck on This” definitely ends the first act.

    “Whocoodanode” opens the second.

  24. 24.

    gloryb

    I’m not musical at all, but I see a scene traveling from the airport to the Infosys campus with Tom ignoring the people in the street singing all around hjm. Oh, and a song about Lexuses (Lexi?) andolive trees.

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