Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

White supremacy is terrorism.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

It’s possible to be a liberal firebrand without crapping on the party.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

Stay strong, because they are weak.

Be a wild strawberry.

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73Comments

  1. 1.

    SRW1

    I hear Wayne Rooney has declared that England can go all the way and win the whole thing. Kind of reminds me of the annual pre-tournament ritual in which Andy Murray will declare that he of course can win Wimbledon.

  4. 4.

    handsmile

    No other match at Euro 2012 will be more difficult for me than today’s Sweden v. France.

    By birth, I am a third-generation Swede (with a dram of Irish) and I deeply admire the egalitarian, progressive nation of Sweden.

    At the same time, I do admit to a French mentalite (more damning evidence for some), wish I were in Paris on any given day, and have long been an ardent supporter of Les Bleus.

    Yet this sport demands a certain degree of ruthlessness and I must take that into account as well. Ignobly surpassed only by the Netherlands, no other team has more disappointed expectations at Euro2012 than Sweden. Other than Zlatan, the Swedish squad has sputtered woefully. France, on the other hand, has more than met its pre-tournament assessment as a dark horse candidate for honors. There have been outstanding performances by veterans and newcomers alike and a disciplined match organization.

    To ensure advancement to the QFs, France must secure a victory, and so I hope that on this day the Gauls will conquer the Vikings.

    For England v. Ukraine, every British football writer has already filed two reports, one to be published as results dictate: “King Wayne!” or “Bums Rush for Woy and Roo!”

    Most observers discounted England’s prospects before the tournament, but the team’s overall performance in its first two matches could fairly be described as “plucky.” Ukraine’s play has presented two stark contrasts: its opening match a fairy tale victory courtesy of Prince Shevchenko, but a memory soon washed away by a thunderstorm and some French offensive lightning.

    No clear advantage that I can discern, then. England, man-for-man, is probably the better squad. Ukraine will take the pitch before a home audience in Donetsk as the remaining co-host.

    At the end of ninety minutes, however, I suspect that England’s experience at this level of competition and its ability to field younger substitutes will probably tip the balance.

    And just think, the runner-up in this Group gets to play Spain.

  5. 5.

    BGinCHI

    Recording the match, so not going to be back to the thread until later. Just wanted to say that I’m nervous about England today. They’ve played pretty well so I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope it falls on John Terry’s head at least.

  6. 6.

    BGinCHI

    @handsmile: Chevrechenko is old and slow, so even England ought to be able to mark him.

    I hope Rooney plays well. Let’s give him a cheer:

    He’s fat, he’s red, there’s nothing in his head:

    Wayne Rooney!

  7. 7.

    burnspbesq

    @BGinCHI:

    Well, is that any better than “he’s big, he’s red, he puts it in Row Zed, he’s Andy Carroll?”

    The downside of Ireland’s early exit is that Robbie Keane will be back in the starting lineup for The Most Under-Achieving Football Club In The Known Universe this weekend.

  8. 8.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @SRW1:

    Oh, I dunno…I didn’t give ’em much of a chance going in to the tournament, but England has played better than I expected. That no team has risen head-and-shoulders above the rest gives me reason to believe they could be celebrating their first European championship in Old Blighty. Hell, if Chelsea can win the Champions League by beating Barcelona and Bayern Munich on the road…

    I’ve still got Germany edging out Spain for the championship, however.

  9. 9.

    Amir Khalid

    Ahem. A repost from yesterday’s footie thread:

    My prediction for England-Ukraine: Rooney’s return throws the English forward line out of whack. A defensive oopsie lets Ukraine score against the run of play, and Woy’s boys go home to face the usual lamentations in the media.

    I still think this is plausible.

  13. 13.

    danimal

    @burnspbesq: I made the trip to beautiful downtown Carson Cal State Dominguez Hills to watch the aforementioned underachievers. Beckham is a pleasure to watch. My first MLS experience; I’m usually a baseball/(American) football kind of guy. I was thinking “I bet they outdrew the Padres today.” I’ll bet ESPN’s ratings for the Euro Cup are much higher than anyone expected, too. Soccer really is the sport of the future; it’s just that it’s taken a generation for the sport to take hold here.

    I’ll go back; my 12 y.o. girl is a sweeper learning to love the game.

  14. 14.

    Gin & Tonic

    I don’t know who’s writing the Eurosport TV live-blogging of the England-Ukraine match (it’s the best I can do sitting here at work) but this is great: “Gerrard delivers the corner, Terry goes for a diving header with all the agility of a falling oak, and cannot make contact with the ball.”

  20. 20.

    SRW1

    With the exception of ‘against the run of play’, the two teams appear to follow Amir’s plan at #8 pretty closely.

  22. 22.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I watched the 1990 WC with a handful of Nigerian immigrants from the corner of a bar. The bar had three tv sets, but only one was tuned to footie.

    In 2010 I watched the final at the bar next door to the first (the first had moved in the interim), and the place was nearly as packed as it is for the Super Bowl- and the crowd was 100% American, mostly people in their 20s.

  23. 23.

    Leeds man

    @Gin & Tonic: “England knock the ball around. It’s tiki-taka, only much slower and with no movement.”

    That’s the England we know and love! Still, Rooney should have scored. Carroll would have.

  27. 27.

    handsmile

    Only watching the Sweden v. France match. (Will catch the later rebroadcast of Rooney v. Ukraine.) A bit of a snoozer I imagine for any neutral.

    Laurent Blanc has tinkered with squad selection that so far has resulted in something less than zip and verve. Benzema, Ribery and Nasri all seem to be playing with a different game plan. Several lapses in concentration by the French defense (the squad’s weak rank) have opened la porte to Swedish strikes, but Sweden lacks a quick-footed, quick-thinking forward other than Zlatan (Elmander is out iinjured), and he seems to have started his vacation a bit early.

    Would like to see an early substitution for Jeremy Menes and/or Olivier Giroud to shake off the French slumbers.

  33. 33.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I’ve seen decently sized crowds at the bars for Champions League semi-finals, too. That’s people cutting out of work early in the middle of the week. Again, youngish crowds.

    I don’t think you can compare the cosmopolitan make-up of greater NYC with West Michigan but to say that in the heyday of the Cosmos, absolutely no one here gave a shit.

  36. 36.

    SRW1

    In case they’d prefer to avoid Spain, France might want to up their efforts at least a notch or two.

    ETA: And on that note, Ibra gives Sweden the lead.

  38. 38.

    J. Michael Neal

    So what are the possible outcomes here? I remember that Sweden managed to get itself eliminated. What happens of the current scores hold?

    I suppose that I could look up the points table, but I’m going to see if you guys will do the work for me.

  39. 39.

    handsmile

    Spectacular goal from Zlatan! Zidanesque!

    Evidently he’s not packed all his bags. That outta rouse France from its ennui.

  43. 43.

    Amir Khalid

    @SRW1:
    Yep. Ukraine done got screwed by a bad call from the asst. referee. They should be level. But that want that equalizer really bad, and they might get it yet.

  48. 48.

    Paula

    @burnspbesq:

    But then Becks is leaving again to be the lovable mascot of Olympics.

    And on top of that, Donovan’s probably going to be freaking exhausted.

  52. 52.

    J. Michael Neal

    Is this the answer for England? Look so terrible and disorganized pre-tournament that you get written off? Maybe it isn’t that they always disappoint, just that they always upset expectations.

  53. 53.

    lol chikinburd

    -Zero penalties awarded throughout the group stages? Is that right?- Oh wait, there was that one that Tytón saved in the first game. Still, that’s kind of ridiculous that so few were awarded.

  55. 55.

    Leeds man

    Ah, well. Italy might be doable (thank you Sweden), Spain and Germany not so much.

    I must add; maybe I’ve picked the wrong matches to watch, but Rooney has always looked worse than useless when I’ve watched him play.

  56. 56.

    Amir Khalid

    A second goal, in injury time, for Sweden. Kind of late for them to be hitting top form. The best they can hope for now is to knock France out.
    ETA: Actually, not even that, according to the BBC’s as-it-stands table. France are still second, and still go through — only with rather less confidence for the quarterfinal against Spain.

  58. 58.

    SRW1

    Bed, Bath & Beyond may yet prove me wrong, but my money is on who cares, starting tomorrow (including, unfortunately, the UEFA and FIFA bigwhigs).

  59. 59.

    pete

    Well, aside from that outburst against Sweden, England’s formidable attack is living down to my expectations, though my bracket is destroyed. The Italy game should be a grand snoozefest one for the determined. And the prize for surviving that would presumably be Germany.

  61. 61.

    Paula

    The hosts are out, the usual suspects in the quarters.

    Ummm … am I watching the rest of this tourney?

  62. 62.

    Leeds man

    @Leeds man: Saw air on the magnified slo-mo replay. Over the line, but still not a goal. I’ve been on both ends of this sort of call, but I don’t want to see video replays deciding the call. Slippery slope. Bad calls? – suck it up. Part of the game (and in this case, there was a Ukraine offside preceding the play).

  63. 63.

    Mark S.

    @pete:

    The Italy game should be a grand snoozefest

    You betcha! I’m going to time it to tune in for the inevitable penalty kicks.

    I have to say, World Cup and Euro Cup are becoming my two favorite sporting events. No nation is overwhelmingly dominant, as the US is in basketball (if we can get our best players to participate). There are contrasting styles of play (I’ve found tennis boring since the serve and volley became extinct). They’re just great tournaments to watch.

  66. 66.

    handsmile

    My ancestors will be feasting on the marrow of French bones tonight in Valhalla.

    A victory for Swedish fortitude? A loss from French malaise?

    The most charitable interpretation I can make of France’s feeble performance is the recognition that a quarterfinal slot was virtually assured. (Only a massive number of goals ending in a draw between Ukraine and England would have prevented it.)

    France could thus play with less urgency or incisiveness (and boy did they ever!); coach Laurent Blanc could alter this starting lineup or see who’s on form (based on Malouda’s play coming on as a second-half sub his derriere should remain affixed to the bench); and experiment with tactical formations (e.g., playing with two strikers, Benzema and Giroud, a 4-4-2 array that Blanc famously said had “no place in the modern game of football.”)

    Of course this analysis all goes into la shitter given that France now faces reigning World and European champion Spain. Bonne chance, mes pauvres!

    Evidently, there was some controversy in the other match today? UEFA might be expected to look into remedies for yet another goal call blunder, but their priority is to monitor the underwear/kit messages and pitch celebrations of football players.

  67. 67.

    Leeds man

    @handsmile: My ancestors will be feasting on the marrow of French bones tonight in Valhalla.

    Or sipping extra strong tea in Lutheran heaven.

  68. 68.

    handsmile

    @Mark S.: (#63)

    I have to say, World Cup and Euro Cup are becoming my two favorite sporting events

    Welcome aboard!

    As you may have surmised from my comments, football is my only sport. Every two years, life’s other commitments and responsibilities grow a bit mossy for a month. (It helps to have an indulgent spouse in this regard.)

    As to the “inevitable penalty kicks” in the QF match between England and Italy, that notion is a bit out of date for the Italians. Cesare Prandelli, appointed coach of the Azzuri in 2010, has established a more offensive, attacking style of play personified by the brilliant veteran playmaker Andrea Pirlo, wily forward Antonio Cassano, and the mercurial Mario Balotelli. The notorious Italian Catenaccio has been set aside, at least for this generation of national footballers.

    And given England’s history with penalty shoot-outs at international competitions, that’s a scenario they will seek to avoid.

    By the way, all of this pretty much ensures that you can look forward to penalties deciding the match outcome on Sunday.

  69. 69.

    handsmile

    @Leeds man: (#62)

    On days of the week with a “T” in them, I believe goal-line technology should be implemented at international competitions. Minimizing injustice is a worthy objective after all.

    But that means on most days of the week, I agree with your position on it. Bad calls, atrocious calls, game-changing unjust calls take place all over the pitch, not only between the posts. A slippery slope has no place in a football match.

  70. 70.

    Leeds man

    @handsmile: Minimizing injustice is a worthy objective after all.

    For important issues, yes (and good luck with that, America), but surely not in sport! Injustice (or perceived injustice) is the fuel of aggrieved supporters. Where would we be without “we wuz robbed”?

  71. 71.

    Mark S.

    @Leeds man:

    I wouldn’t object to what they do in hockey where they’ll review goals and near goals. It doesn’t matter too much here, since the Ukraine needed to win and all that did was tie.

  72. 72.

    cactusjackwallace

    Not to put too fine a point on it, but the Ukraine non-goal started from an off-side position. It was the second off-sides they missed. (The sitting header the Ukraine player missed from the 6 was off as well.) Still, it’s amazing that England continue to get slated for scoring once and then defending. That used to be the complaint: They couldn’t hold a lead, or come back. Not saying they’ll win, but they now have as good a chance as anyone. (Greece 2004, anyone?)

  73. 73.

    Codi Syon

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