Looks like I am in the market for a new wallet:
Was just watching Suits, looked down to the side of my chair, and saw my credit card lying there and thought “WTF is that doing there.” Stood up, pulled the chair back, and found Rosie going to town on my wallet. She destroyed the wallet, all my atm cards, a visa, and my voter id.
Why couldn’t I have found a fucking poodle by the side of the road?
TaMara (BHF)
Well now you’ll be accused of voter fraud for sure (you have to have a fucking ID in WV – so far in CO we’ve escaped that rethug lunacy).
Poor Rosie. Always the bad seed.
amk
This is what happens when you starve the beasts.
Move to florida so you don’t have to worry about no fucking voter id no more.
cathyx
She’s just trying to control your spending.
AxelFoley
She’s a GOP plant?
lamh35
@TaMara (BHF): naw Cole is white, they’ll probably just send a courier over with his new card STAT. Now if JC was black and/or hispanic, then maybe he’d have something to worry about.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Maybe she’s trying to tell you that she needs more fiber in her diet? And plastic!
Just switch to Chinese dog food. Problem solved?
Comrade Mary
A fucking poodle costs extra.
David Koch
@AxelFoley:
More like a cactus.
Valdivia
Voting card? ACORN!
Elisabeth
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
Had a dog, Eddie, growing up. He used to lick the wrought iron fish tank stand. Asked the vet about it and he said that the dog lacked iron in his diet.
Ash Can
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
And I just thought, looking at the photo, that maybe Cole was getting a little too much fiber in his diet.
Elisabeth
@David Koch:
Or a goat.
Culture of Truth
The dog ate my voter ID!
Likely story panther-man
gogol's wife
That is so cute.
Poopyman
You’re ass is sweating like a pig and she’s lapping up the salty wallet. Everything else is collateral damage.
FWIW one of my cats chowed down on a paper with addresses and phone numbers on it that I had had in my back pocket. You just can’t fault them for going for the tasty ass sweat.
Omnes Omnibus
You have dogs. Why the fuck would you leave your wallet where one of them could get at it? Do you leave food on the coffee table? Dogs think that if something is at their level it is for them. Brodie obviously thought you gave her a new chew toy.
pragmatism
I have been using a money clip with credit card holder for the past 10 hrs in lieu of wallet. Not going back. http://www.amazon.com/Personalized-High-Tech-Tension-Stainless-Engraved/dp/B0058YBZGQ
Put tunch #62 on there
beltane
Please be on the lookout for James O’Keefe showing up on your doorstep in an attempt to prove that you are somehow engaged in voter fraud. He’ll probably be dressed in a Halloween hillbilly costume so as to throw you off guard. Don’t fall for it.
Maude
A chewing dog chews forever.
A standard poodle would be nice.
TaMara (BHF)
@Omnes Omnibus: You obviously missed the story where Tunch was knocking his wallet off the desk and Rosie was grabbing it. They plot against him, ya know.
pragmatism
@pragmatism: Damn you autocorrect and no edit button. Years not hours
Crusty Dem
FWIW, I’ve got a poodle/retriever and that dog will chew up/eat anything. Socks. Used diapers. Golf balls (chewing the covering to pieces). At first I was irritated, but now I’m just impressed..
Maude
@Omnes Omnibus:
He lost a sandwich to Rosie. It was on a table, perfect height for the chewer.
Edit, spelling.
John has lost about 400 dollars in chewing expenses.
beltane
@Poopyman: My dog has licked holes in the pillowcases on my husband’s side of the bed, one of the pitfalls of being a balding guy who sweats a lot.
Omnes Omnibus
@TaMara (BHF): I put my wallet in a drawer and I haven’t had a dog in years. I mean if he knows they are plotting against him he could take a precaution or two.
mQuirk
Well, thank goodness your homework wasn’t in there. NO one would believe you.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@TaMara (BHF):
Tunch Thought: “Hmmm, what is this thing that smells like an animal doing up here? Let’s see if it’s alive…”
Tunch knocks wallet on floor to see if it runs away.
Tunch Thought: “Nope, how boring.”
Rosie Thought: “Hey! There’s a dead animal on the floor!”
Rosie proceeds to make sure that the dead animal is really dead.
Tunch Thought: “Now that’s funny!”
MikeJ
Looks like with any luck the taxpayer funded stadium in OK will go empty for the rest of the season.
Yutsano
Jack Russell Terrorist acted like Jack Russell Terrorist. Water is still wet. Also. Too.
J.W. Hamner
I’m totally loving “the wallet was asking for it” defense of Rosie.
Anne Laurie
Because a poodle would’ve been taken home by someone before you got there. How many cars you think passed Rosie, thought JRTerrorist, and rolled up the window before speeding off?
@beltane: Our rescue girl Gloria, who doesn’t even like me, makes a point of licking my pillow whenever I get up in the night. I think she finds it entertaining to listen to me swear when I come back & rest my tired head on the dog-slimed pillow.
sharl
@lamh35: Haha, brings back memories of Eddie Murphy in one of his better performances.
*There’s a 30-sec spot leading that off. In my case, it was for a movie called “Ted”. Is that movie going to be as f*cking stupid as the trailer would seem to suggest?
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
G has to keep his wedding ring in the drawer of his bedside table when he takes it off at night because Charlotte stole it one time. We still don’t know where she was hiding it, but one night we let the robot dinosaur walk around and she retrieved the ring from its hidey-hole and brought it to the robot.
Now we call her Gollum. Plus we worry about which side she’s going to take when our robot dinosaur overlords show up.
MikeJ
@sharl: Did you mean, is Ted going to be as awesome as it looks, or awesomer?
shortstop
It’s ’cause it used to be a cow. Switch to a microfiber wallet. Then we’ll laugh sympathetically when she chews THAT.
Culture of Truth
A dressage horse would never have done that.
Culture of Truth
@Mnemosyne: that’s hilarious. But at least you have ally in the coming robot wars.
Hill Dweller
Stewart is even worse tonight than he was last night on Fast and Furious.
lamh35
@sharl: that Eddie Murphy skit is a keeper…gonna save that one.
sharl
@MikeJ: Clearly we have different aesthetic senses. But I’ll keep an eye out for reviews; been wrong before on such things. The official movie site didn’t improve my opinion, but then I see it’s from the creator of the Family Guy. There’s my likely problem, right there! I like a lot of the selected quips from the show, but never have been able to make it through a full episode.
stoned stats
Try ducti.com for a replacement. Relatively inexpensive, lifetime warranty, and people constantly ask, “Is your wallet made out of duct tape?”
The Dangerman
New expense? Shit, a little duct tape and you’re golden.
jl
Does this count as a pet pic?
Habeas corpus, Cole, habeas corpus, Mr civil liberties.
Need to see if this story checks out. I expect Rosie to look very sorry and contrite.
I will be adorable.
@The Dangerman: Damn straight. Cole needs to pull up his socks and climb back in the saddle.
And I were Cole, I’d get on replacing that voter ID quick while I still got some nominally Democratic WV political muscle to help me out.
Mnemosyne
@Culture of Truth:
We suspect she’s planning to sell us out to the robots, unfortunately. But we always suspected it would happen, so at least we won’t be surprised when she leads them to our hiding place.
kth
@pragmatism: Ditto on that. I keep it in my front pocket, because I hate sitting on a wallet.
Valdivia
wait isn’t John’s birthday tomorrow? I guess Rosie just wanted to make it easier for people to buy him a gift.
pragmatism
@kth: Yup. The Seinfeld episode about the wallet was right on.
John Cole
Actually, my friends Brooke and Sean Deal, the day after I rescued Rosie, saw her, and said “I think that is the dog we passed on the way home from the Highlands.” Apparently, they had driven through an hour before and saw her, but thought she was a local dog just running around.
MikeJ
@sharl: It looks like the kind of movie for which one should visit the dispensary to treat their glaucoma before viewing. Which I’m fine with. I like those kinds of movies.
And I’m guessing Mila Kunis may be naked in it, which can’t hurt.
John Cole
@Anne Laurie:
Awesome. A passive aggressive dog you have rescued.
trollhattan
You can’t blame the dog, it smells like your asscheek. What dog can resist?
jl
@jl:
” I will be adorable. ”
Oops. That is not true.
Meant to say
Rosie will look adorable.
And apologies to dog owners for obviously trying and failing to call Rosie an ‘it’.
Edit: What is with this ‘Cole walks around with his wallet rammed up his ass’ stuff? Even I’m not that mean to the host.
Second edit: and with a poodle, wouldn’t you still be chasing the dog trying trying to get the wallet back? (I owned a poodle a long time ago, it was a ‘real card’ as they say. A barrel of laughs)
Violet
@Culture of Truth:
That made me laugh out loud, for reals.
Poor Rosie. She’s just trying to help you keep your spending under control and look at the thanks she gets.
jo6pac
Oh great rove has been saved and is now is one with you
cckids
@Hill Dweller:
Indeed he is. I realized when my son came home for the summer from college that I had stopped watching Stewart, without really making the decision to. Now I know why. He’s not Faux News by any means, but I am not used to him getting so many things just WRONG. Basic facts & all.
Brachiator
@MikeJ:
The recent Adam Sandler movie prepared the way for Ted to find box office oblivion.
You look at the trailer and don’t think “dumb.” You just wonder “why?”
mattH
A good friend of my Dad almost killed a dog for eating the cinch of a saddle. The whole thing. There’s something about sweat-impregnated leather they love. Must be like jerky.
Anne Laurie
@John Cole:
Nuthin’ passive about Our Gloria’s aggressiveness. She lifts her leg to pee — sometimes on her wimpy packmate Sydney — and humps the Spousal Unit’s leg to let him know how much she loves him.
Me, not so much.
On the other hand, when I’m away from home overnight, she goes all to pieces. “Alpha bitch” looks like an easy job, from the outside, but it’s a terrible wearing responsibility for a twenty-pound dog….
piratedan
guess you picked the wrong day to put sliced pepperoni in your wallet…..
jnfr
Why are you watching Suits instead of Burn Notice?
Thomas F
John Cole doesn’t understand jurisprudential nuance.
BethanyAnne
@shortstop: I love my Tyvek wallet. I can keep my iphone next to it with no case, and not worry about the wallet scratching the phone. Here’s a link: http://www.dynomighty.com/
Burnspbesq
Rosie is pissed off at your hysterical, fact-free rants about the Federal judiciary.
Bago
@Poopyman: You should really look into backing up your contact Info on a cloud service, like google or live. You can burn your papers, drown your phone, nuke a datacenter and still have your contacts.
It’s awesome.
Munira
My son and his fiancée have a dog who’s part poodle. They left him with a house sitter while they were on vacation and the dog ate the house sitter’s false teeth so I’m not sure a poodle is the answer.
LarryB
I feel your pain. I went through four, count ’em, four Cable/TV remotes the first 6 months with Norman, my rescued Border Collie/Heeler mix. Thank God he’s settled down since then.
shortstop
@LarryB: Hey, we had a heeler mix named Norman, too!
Retief
Because then you would have found two poodles.
Cmm
@Anne Laurie:
The rescue dog doesn’t hump your husband out of love, she does it to show dominance, because her status in the pack vis a vis him is an anxiety source for her. You she figures she has already beat out so she doesn’t have to defer to or even acknowledge you. The falling to pieces when you leave is the other side of pack dominance…responsibility for everyone in the pack underneath her. Or alternately she may be concerned that you are out finding an alpha of your own and leaving the pack, perhaps to start a new pack in close proximity.
Or maybe she is just a psycho dog.
Cmm
@Anne Laurie:
The rescue dog doesn’t hump your husband out of love, she does it to show dominance, because her status in the pack vis a vis him is an anxiety source for her. You she figures she has already beat out so she doesn’t have to defer to or even acknowledge you. The falling to pieces when you leave is the other side of pack dominance…responsibility for everyone in the pack underneath her. Or alternately she may be concerned that you are out finding an alpha of your own and leaving the pack, perhaps to start a new pack in close proximity.
Or maybe she is just a psycho dog.