• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

The revolution will be supervised.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

He really is that stupid.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Tick tock motherfuckers!

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / TV & Movies / Movies / Open Thread

Open Thread

by John Cole|  July 2, 201210:21 pm| 119 Comments

This post is in: Movies

FacebookTweetEmail

Sitting here looking for something to watch, and I have this sort of morbid curiosity about John Carter. I kind of want to see it because the premise is interesting, but I know it bombed. Did any of you see it? Was it really that bad, and is the Ishtar of 2012? Or did it just not catch on?

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « If you love him, be proud of him
Next Post: History, or something like that… »

Reader Interactions

119Comments

  1. 1.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    July 2, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    It was OK. It was worth the two hours seeing it, but I don’t think I’ll watch it again, and probably wouldn’t stop on it if it were on TV. To compare, if any of the LOTR movies are on, I’ll generally stop the channel surfing, as I will for Sahara and Red (two definitely guilty pleasure movies, way more fun than they should be).

  2. 2.

    Yutsano

    July 2, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    Never saw it, but it’s a Disneyfied version of a classic book. Take that caveat for what it’s worth.

  3. 3.

    burnspbesq

    July 2, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Watch “Safe House.” Denzel is fabulous, and the body count is astronomical.

  4. 4.

    BD of MN

    July 2, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    I’m watching radar, a big bow echo just ran over Duluth, MN a couple of minutes ago, although the winds seem to subside a bit as it got closer to the city (lake effect)… The line already produced 60-80mph winds and did a bunch of damage to the west of Duluth…

    Just what they needed after the 1-500 year rain they had last week…

  5. 5.

    Mike Goetz

    July 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    Take a bow, guys!

    From Mickey Kaus’s Twitter feed:

    “I think John Roberts changed his vote because of all the criticism he got from the comment section at Balloon Juice.”

  6. 6.

    j

    July 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    It did OK world wide, and still did about $74M in the USA. I think it rolled out on the wrong weekend.

    http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=johncarterofmars.htm

    I’ll try to look up Ebert’s blog to see what the competition was in the USA first run span.

  7. 7.

    danielx

    July 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    @Mike Goetz:

    Top shelf praise, indeed.

    Bit Mickey Kaus still blows goats.

  8. 8.

    Warren Terra

    July 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    Since this is an Open Thread, some DougJ-bait:
    Suzy Khimm of Ezra Klein’s mini-borg reports on a study that has concluded that for-profit secondary education (certificates and associates degrees) does not boost the incomes of the people who receive it, although the same sort of secondary education at not-for-profit institutions does boost the incomes of those who receive it.

    It’s an interesting and important story in its own right, and it’s a brave story for a blogger employed by the Washington Post to report on, especially with an explicit disclaimer that the Washington Post owns a for-profit secondary-education vendor.

  9. 9.

    Matthew Reid Krell

    July 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    Honestly, I loved the movie (and will probably buy it soon). It had the worst marketing possible.

  10. 10.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    July 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    John Carter is a forgettable piece of eye-candy. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. Basically, what Belafon said @1, though I have different guilty-pleasure movies. :)

  11. 11.

    Justin

    July 2, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    I liked it. Not a great movie. But fun.

  12. 12.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    July 2, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    I was at the grocery store this afternoon, and when I came out to the parking lot, there was a Toyota SUV, 2005 or later model, with a “Reagan For President” sticker on it. I got a good laugh out of it.

  13. 13.

    Narcissus

    July 2, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    All I know about John Carter is that when I saw the commercials I started thinking “This isn’t right. I can’t see Dejah Thoris’ tits.”

    I am not always proud of myself.

  14. 14.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 2, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    I am bored too and am eagerly awaiting the next episode of the
    Tunch Chronicles with Lily, Rosie and John Cole in supporting roles.

  15. 15.

    Soonergrunt

    July 2, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    If you haven’t watched it before, queue up “Eureka” and “Warehouse 13” on Netflix.
    Hadn’t watched “John Carter.” My sister’s family liked it, but while my sister is pretty well read, my brother in law is an Adam Sandler fan, so do with that what you will.

  16. 16.

    Rock

    July 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    It was a competent sci-fi movie. Certainly not bad. I’ve heard one problem is that other sci-fi movies so relentlessly ripped off the original book that John Carter doesn’t seem “new”.

    My 9-year old son and I went to see it one day when he was off school and he said it was fun movie…and I agree.

  17. 17.

    gogol's wife

    July 2, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    @Mike Goetz:

    Damn straight. It’s the first thing he reads every morning.

  18. 18.

    dopealope

    July 2, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    I liked John Carter: It certainly didn’t deserve the abuse that was heaped on it. I was a fan of the books, and although they changed the plot of the first book, they captured the feel of the books. Shame we’ll never see Woola again …

  19. 19.

    Warren Terra

    July 2, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    @Mike Goetz:
    Does this mean you (shudder) follow Kaus on Twitter?

    A sobering thought, although he does have almost twice as many Twitter followers as Cole does, slightly fewer than ABL, and about twenty times as many as DougJ.

  20. 20.

    j

    July 2, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I trid to edit something in my last post but it didn’t take.

    Here is the week to week openings in competition w/ “John Carter”.

    It looks like “The Hunger Games” stole everybody’s mojo.

    http://boxofficemojo.com/schedule/?view=bydate&release=theatrical&date=2012-03-09&p=.htm

  21. 21.

    JPL

    July 2, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    Taylor Kitsch was eye candy in Friday Night Lights and I can only assume he is eye candy in the role of John Carter. I heard he cut his hair though which would be sad.

  22. 22.

    JPL

    July 2, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    ugh double post.. but eye candy double post..

  23. 23.

    Shinobi

    July 2, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I really enjoyed John Carter, though I agree that they messed up the marketing of it bad. We rented it and I felt like it was totally worth the time we spent watching it. It was visually cool, the plot was pretty interesting, and there were some fun characters.

  24. 24.

    aet

    July 2, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Its not that its bad, just that the drama is kind of meh. But that has more to do with the nature of the source material. 100-year-old scifi-fantasy that had been ripped off by everyone from Star Wars to Superman does not age well.

    Moviebob said it best.

  25. 25.

    scav

    July 2, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    @BD of MN: Another bow echo? Are these getting more common or is the term just being used more often?

  26. 26.

    BGinCHI

    July 2, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Laughed our asses off at 21 Jump Street.

    Stupid? check

    Funny? check

    Will I admit to this if you tell anyone? negative

  27. 27.

    Mike Goetz

    July 2, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    There was a guy with a Reagan for President t-shirt at my town’s (early) July 4th parade this weekend. Scott Brown was plodding in it, pointed to him, and waved. I was in patriotic corn-pone overload.

  28. 28.

    Mike Goetz

    July 2, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    @Warren Terra:

    I don’t follow, I just happened to run across it in a random Twitter click-around.

  29. 29.

    Frankensteinbeck

    July 2, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    I liked John Carter pretty well. Its writing was good enough that I could sit back and appreciate the crazy sci-fi and viscerally fun action sequences. It was better than Avengers in every way.

  30. 30.

    zattarra

    July 2, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Saw it in the theater. Enjoyed it greatly. It’s a mashup of a few of the original John Carter books, it’s not purely A Princess of Mars. But it’s darn good and I don’t know why the critics killed it based on a trailer. See it.

  31. 31.

    Hal

    July 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    Huffpo headline yesterday: “Obama, Romney struggle for Latino vote.”

    Inside the article? Obama has a 40 point lead on Romney, 65 to 25%.

    Second best laugh: comment section filled with the royal we and us, as in we latino’s will be voting for Romney because Obama will not fool us again!

    Oh Ariana. Don’t ever change.

  32. 32.

    lamh35

    July 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    @JPL: the only reason I know who that dude was is because of Wolverine. My second favorite X-Men male next to Wolverine is Gambit…it’s Cajun thing…lol.

    I was underwhelmed by his Gambit portrayal

  33. 33.

    PGE

    July 2, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    I can’t believe we’re this far into the comments without a good word for Ishtar. It’s a funny movie that got a bad rap. Though I’ll admit one has to adjust to the sense of humor. But, come on, it’s Elaine May: how bad do you think it could be?

  34. 34.

    gbear

    July 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    @BD of MN: Crap. You guys are getting hammered up there this week. Hope it moderates before it gets to you.

  35. 35.

    Yutsano

    July 2, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    @BGinCHI: :: takes down furious notes ::

    @lamh35: I have a minor crush on Chris Hemsworth. I feel no shame in this.

  36. 36.

    Paula

    July 2, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Watched it On Demand. And thought it was worth the nickel.

    Don’t expect a lot, but it was entertaining.

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    July 2, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    I liked John Carter a lot better than I expected to, and more than some of the other Pixar movies I’ve seen. With better marketing — and less competition from Hunger Games — it would’ve made a much better worldbuilder series-starter than Dances with Space Smurfs.

    Best review I’ve read is Paul Constant’s, but since some people can’t be bothered reading their own front pages, here’s a(nother) link!

  38. 38.

    Valdivia

    July 2, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    @Hal:

    gah I hate HuffPo.

  39. 39.

    lamh35

    July 2, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    @Yutsano: oh yeah Chris Hemsworth is definitely crush worthy. But my Gambit love has been since I was a teenager. Wasn’t a Thor fan. I was and still am a X-Men fan first and a Marvel fangirl 2nd.

  40. 40.

    Corner Stone

    July 2, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    @Anne Laurie: You can’t seriously expect Cole to remember something from a couple months ago, can you?
    I mean, the dude can’t even remember he has a basement in his own house on a day to day basis.

  41. 41.

    lamh35

    July 2, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    @BGinCHI: 21 Jump Street was way funnier than it ought to have been and I love the cameos. If JC hasn’t seen it, he definitely should.

  42. 42.

    lamh35

    July 2, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    Can I just say, on this whole Romney and aborted fetuses story, can you imagine the pro-life nutjobs shouts of rage at a Dem pol having the same investment record?

  43. 43.

    MikeJ

    July 2, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    @Mike Goetz: Burnsie is Mickey Kaus and I claim my five pounds.

  44. 44.

    dogwood

    July 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    @JPL:

    Kitsch was great in FNL. Overall it was a great ensemble cast, great cinematography, and a great soundtrack.

  45. 45.

    Mark S.

    July 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    Romney promises fat cat donors that he won’t be a flip-flopper on immigration. His plan is to take no position at all on it.

  46. 46.

    scav

    July 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    @Hal: That’s ChiTrib level where I saw a headline along the lines of Increase in Obama’s Latino Popularity: Can He Hold Onto It?

  47. 47.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    I saw John carter & didn’t hate it. It was an entertaining adventure movie. I think it’s unfairly maligned.

  48. 48.

    gbear

    July 2, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    @Mike Goetz:

    “I think John Roberts changed his vote because of all the criticism he got from the comment section at Balloon Juice.”

    Who doesn’t get criticism from the comment section at Balloon Juice?

    What a dumb comment.

  49. 49.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 2, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    @Anne Laurie:

    I liked John Carter a lot better than I expected to, and more than some of the other Pixar movies I’ve seen. With better marketing

    IIRC, the big magilla producer thought the whole world has been waiting with bated breath for a John Carter movie. Apparently we’re all twelve year old boys reading dime novels in a hayloft in 1925

  50. 50.

    Mark S.

    July 2, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    @lamh35:

    Shit, I have a crush on Chris Hemsworth and I’m straight.

  51. 51.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    I just saw Hugo and it was love/hate. Loved the first hour and hated the second. I’ve written an entire screed about this on FB and now all of my Friends are tired of me/it.

  52. 52.

    El Cid

    July 2, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    I’m attracted to the fantasy prospect of instantly transporting all our neo-Confederate types to Mars.

  53. 53.

    Geoduck

    July 2, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    @RossInDetroit: I haven’t seen the flick, but that seems to be a common reaction; starts out as an adventure, suddenly turns into a long sloppy homage to classic film..

  54. 54.

    Corner Stone

    July 2, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    I’ll generally stop the channel surfing, as I will for Sahara

    ***spit take***

  55. 55.

    Yutsano

    July 2, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    @Mark S.: My brother calls those heterosexual man crushes. He develops them from time to time.

    @lamh35: Chris is almost exactly the same proportions as the New York Dawg. Except NYD has an inch and about 20 lbs. And much shorter hair.

  56. 56.

    MikeJ

    July 2, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    @Corner Stone: Who doesn’t love Sahara? Bogey is incredible in it.

  57. 57.

    Ken J.

    July 2, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    The SF fans I know generally liked “John Carter.” I didn’t see it; Edgar Rice Burroughs was not a part of my childhood, and I couldn’t see why (from a business perspective) Disney thought Barsoom was worth a $200-300 million investment in 2012.

    I don’t recall a lot of people saying it was a bad movie: it’s just going to be famous for the size of the financial loss.

    In a not-really-science-fiction vein, the wife and I saw “Safety Not Guaranteed” tonight and we loved it. Probably “Safety” cost about 3% of “John Carter.” :-)

  58. 58.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    @Geoduck:

    I haven’t seen the flick, but that seems to be a common reaction; starts out as an adventure, suddenly turns into a long sloppy homage to classic film..

    Exactly my reaction. I was like where the hell is my wonderful adventure story and what did I do to have to sit here and be lectured by this jackass about old movies?

  59. 59.

    urizon

    July 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Loved John Carter. Don’t know why it was panned. Hope they make the sequels.

  60. 60.

    SaltySam

    July 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    @Rock: I’ve heard one problem is that other sci-fi movies so relentlessly ripped off the original book that John Carter doesn’t seem “new”.
    As a fan of the original books, I enjoyed it alot- sad that it was marketed so poorly. But as it is the source material for many sci-fi “classics”, it had an uphill battle. Watch Luke Skywalker battle the Rancor beast and tell me George Lucas wasn’t directly ripping off J.C. vs. White Apes… When I watched Avatar (and liked it), I was thinking, “this is just John Carter on a different planet.

  61. 61.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    @Geoduck:

    But the first hour of Hugo is fabulous. Just a great story beautifully told. I even didn’t hate SB Cohen in it, who I hate on principle. Watch it and you’ll know by instinct EXACTLY when the good part’s over.

  62. 62.

    Cris (without an H)

    July 2, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    I didn’t see John Carter, but Scott Phillips, writer and fan of corny B movies, spent days urging his Facebook friends to see it.

  63. 63.

    Redshift

    July 2, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    @Matthew Reid Krell: Dreadful marketing, staying with the insane idea to change the title from “John Carter of Mars.”

  64. 64.

    Corbin Dallas Multipass

    July 2, 2012 at 11:16 pm

    “John Carter” is my least favorite film with the word “Carter” in the title.

  65. 65.

    General Stuck

    July 2, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    Apparently, there is a big pissing contest between the Obama campaign, and the clown wizards over at Fact Check.org. Factcheck is claiming that Romney took a leave from Bain in 2009, to work on the Olympics, and therefore had noting relevant to do with Bain. Only problem is

    Much of the Obama campaign’s letter is devoted to quoting portions of documents filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission. In summary, the letter states there are “at least 63 filings with that agency after March 1, 1999 that list various Bain entities and describe them as ‘wholly owned by W. Mitt Romney.’” That’s true, but not relevant.

    Ya see, ladies and germs, Factcheck would have us believe that a mothership ccrp that is Bain Capital, had nothing to do with its operation, even from the company owner. Even with documents stating he did have something to do with the company, that is a no brainer, for those of us living on Planet Earth. That’s mostly false. I’m beginning to wonder if Karl Rove is secretly running that silly outfit.

  66. 66.

    burnspbesq

    July 2, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Burnsie is Mickey Kaus

    Fraid not.

  67. 67.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    I liked John Carter more than The Avengers, which I wanted to love. With The Avengers you know just when the huge destructo-battle will begin, and that it will go on 245% longer than necessary and be very ‘splodey and violent. Predictability is boring.

  68. 68.

    Ron Beasley

    July 2, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    I loved Edgar Rice Burroughs when I was 17 – Tarzan, John Carter, the center of the earth, Venus. At 66 not so much. ERB wrote comic books with words and he did this by being an incredible graphic artist. They say a picture is worth a 1000 words – with Burroughs it took a hell of a lot less words to create that picture. That is his magic. It should be material that would make a good movie – Disney failed.
    Sure, it was silly stuff, but it was great escapist literature, not unlike Jules Verne.

  69. 69.

    Narcissus

    July 2, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    I saw the movie Tron: Legacy on cable the other day and it was a lot better than I expected it to be.

  70. 70.

    GxB

    July 2, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    Half term / quarter wit Guv, grifter extraordinaire and honorable Granny Meth of the Skidoo set calls Pelosi a “Dingbat” – the very phrase “takes one to know one” cannot even scratch that armor of idiocy….

  71. 71.

    Beldar

    July 2, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The problems it had were only partly due to poor marketing. The biggest problem was that many writers of sci-fi films ripped off the John Carter novels in numerous ways. So when someone finally gets around to making a John Carter film it looks derivative, for no other reason than its source material was the inspiration for so many other blockbusters.

    To answer your question, I say watch the movie. It was fun and beautifully filmed, and plays much like the pulp novels it’s based on.

  72. 72.

    Roger Moore

    July 2, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    @General Stuck:
    My gut feeling is that the big problem is that Fact Check feels like they can’t back down on their ratings. They want to be the definitive fact checking organization, and that can’t work if they’re wrong about something and have to issue a retraction. Not only will it make people question all their future pronouncements and wait to see if they’re disproven, but it will encourage the campaigns to challenge everything they say. Understandable, but still wrong.

  73. 73.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    My Hugo screed, copypasted together from FB comments. I wrote this in bits and that’s why there are redundancies:
    Last night we saw the movie Hugo. I get why the Academy gave it so many awards, and I half agree. The first hour is a top notch adventure tale about an orphan in peril trying to connect with his late father through their shared love. It’s just a terrific story and is beautifully done.
    The second half I didn’t like at all. It abruptly switches to the story of a retired film pioneer and his legacy. It turns slow, sentimental, preachy and tedious. Clearly this is Scorsese’s embarrassing love letter to the early days of his industry. But it’s ham handed and forced. Not compelling entertainment at all. It plays like a fictionalized PSA for film preservation or a pedantic documentary. Stiff, wooden characters and leaden plot with none of the vigor, humor or surprises of the first half.
    It’s actually like two completely different films spliced together. I’d have been ahead if I’d just stopped watching at the 60 minute mark instead of sitting through (most of) the rest to see if it would get fascinating again.
    One of my beefs with art is when it turns to itself as a subject. I really think movies about the movie business, books about writers and songs about rock and roll are a waste of time, with a few exceptions. Art should illuminate something about life rather than looking within itself. Nobody is more boring than when they’re being self referential. Scorsese obviously cares a great deal about films so he made half of a film about them. But when Hugo turns to being about its own history and process it becomes very narrowly interesting. Scorsese is saying what he wants to hear rather than trying to find something that will interest me.
    There have been good works of art that are self referential, but they put their characters first. The end of Hugo was more like a manifesto than a personal story.
    Maybe what bothers me is that the second half has most of the exposition in the film. The movie starts out showing you a fascinating story in vivid visuals. Then it sits you down and narrates a completely different story in documentary style. The narrator is a rather dull film scholar who just happens to appear out of nowhere in a library while the protagonists are reading his book. Really? They’re reading a book and the author just walks up behind them and starts lecturing? I’ll take Contrived Cinematic Shortcuts for $100.
    And how did they find that book? A bookseller in a shop told them to go to a particular shelf in the library and read the Nth book on the shelf. So they did and the author appeared like magic. Why, it’s almost like our protagonists have lost their free will and are being manipulated by mysterious forces beyond their ken. No, it’s exactly like that, and the force isn’t mysterious. It’s a screenwriter who wants to make sure we get a message and is willing to abandon sense, plausibility and narrative momentum to do it.

  74. 74.

    Batocchio

    July 2, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    John Carter isn’t a masterpiece, but it’s worth a look. It got unfairly bashed.

  75. 75.

    dr. luba

    July 2, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    @PGE: I saw Ishtar for the first time a few months ago. Found it at the Salvation Army for 10 cents, and feel I overpaid.

    It just didn’t seem very funny. I don’t think it was as awful as legend has it, but I just didn’t really enjoy it.

  76. 76.

    Roger Moore

    July 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    @Narcissus:

    I saw the movie Tron: Legacy on cable the other day and it was a lot better than I expected it to be.

    Let me guess: you didn’t see the original Tron first. I found Tron: Legacy incredibly frustrating because all the good parts were derivative and all the new stuff sucked.

  77. 77.

    tofubo

    July 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    never sawwed the mouvie

    to hell w/texas and their platform, enjoy tomorrow ‘cus this was signed:

    http://www.ourdocuments.gov/document_data/pdf/doc_097.pdf

  78. 78.

    RossInDetroit

    July 2, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    @dr. luba:

    Ishtar is more famous for being a bad investment than a terrible film. You can get away with bad art but bad commerce will get you pilloried.

  79. 79.

    Steve in DC

    July 2, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    This man agrees with you…

    http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/037/tron_guy-thumb.jpg

  80. 80.

    IamNoYoda

    July 2, 2012 at 11:37 pm

    watched it on airplane. not worth your two hours. know you do not like Mad Men, but as a TV show, it is definitely worth watching, well worth it. You can certainly take a critical view/attitude toward main male characters’ behaviors while viewing it. they are all what you said about them, but the stories are great and actings are great. this is the first series i watched in full in 10 years, not that meant anything to you.

  81. 81.

    Bondo

    July 2, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    John Carter is the second worst film this year. Not good at all, except for James Purefoy.

  82. 82.

    jurassicpork

    July 2, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    It was kind of weird but sci fi is supposed to be, I guess. After getting a huge internet push that sounded like it was coming from fanboys or maybe the studio’s PR press kit, it seemed to fizzle right after theatrical release. Still, I d/l’d a free version off Frostwire, burned it to disk and I wasn’t too disappointed. The story was hard to follow at times but it was more like David Lynch’s Dune rather than Ishtar. Speaking just for myself, it was OK, had a passable storyline, good special FX. If you’re a sci fi fan, John, you might want to give it a try.

    Anyway, back on earth, guess what? Even though I’ve been blogging for going on 8 years, today’s Welcome Back to Pottersville’s 4th anniversary.

  83. 83.

    The Other Chuck

    July 2, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    @Steve in DC: It’s the Male Camel Toe that’s the most disturbing part of that pic…

  84. 84.

    Bnut

    July 2, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Oh my god. Oh my god. Please watch this trailer for Cain Tv from Herman Cain. It’s like an acid trip. I fucking love it. More, more, more!

  85. 85.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 2, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    This smack of over-confidence to anyone else?

    Virginia Gov. Bob McConnell (R) has been appointed platform chairman of the 2012 Republican National Convention, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

    I know platforms aren’t huge, but do they really want the mere presence of Governor Transvaginal drawing attention to social issues, especially with Romney’s new abortion story bubbling up?

  86. 86.

    JeremyH

    July 2, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    @Ken J.:
    I saw Safety Not Guaranteed too, and really enjoyed it. It had some flaws, but an original premise and some lovely character work. Very affecting.

  87. 87.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    July 2, 2012 at 11:51 pm

    I like how Dick and his Armey at FreeDumbWerks are asking the Teahadists to get out to those parades on July 4th and recruit others to their cause. IOW, they want crazy people to do the heavy lifting for them and show up at patriotic celebrations held for citizens across the nation with the goal of further dividing said citizens and nation.

    How fucking unpatriotic of them. If I go to our parade and one of those fuckers gets in my face I’m going to go all patriotic on their ass.

    I am sick and tired of these stupid fuckers.

  88. 88.

    IamNoYoda

    July 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    bad as full of cliches, story line/plot is thin and shallow, no “fiction”, mediocre acting.

  89. 89.

    tofubo

    July 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    never sawwed this mouvie either

    http://youtu.be/m1E9MiUECXU

  90. 90.

    Yutsano

    July 2, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    @Bnut: I wanna say it’s a joke. Please say it’s a joke. And apparently a lot of folks need work out there bad. But the Kivi part? That was right out of the 1900s. I winced. Oi.

  91. 91.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    July 2, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    Something found at the GoS: I feel sorry for those in Colorado Springs who did not want city services cut instead of raising taxes. You only get the level of civilization that you are willing to pay for.

    It seems that they wanted less than they used to have, thinking it would get them more.

  92. 92.

    Tripod

    July 3, 2012 at 12:02 am

    Disappointed. A noble attempt perhaps, but it has structural issues, and between this and Battleship it’s clear Kitsch is out of his depth in carrying an action extravaganza.

  93. 93.

    FuriousPhil

    July 3, 2012 at 12:12 am

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    I’m walking in a parade for the first time, supporting the Dems…in my rural, small town, tea party infested county.

    Wish me luck. I can handle myself, but if they gang up and start spouting gibberish, I can’t be held accountable for my actions. they’ll probably have guns, and dangerous fireworks, so I’ll just smile and support my candidates.

  94. 94.

    Lizzy

    July 3, 2012 at 12:15 am

    Being an artist, I absolutely loved those pretty little flying machines made of glass. And the story was kind of fun. I was also a big fan of “Friday Night Lights”…. and Tim Riggins :)

  95. 95.

    Arclite

    July 3, 2012 at 12:16 am

    John Carter was good. It’s a shame it bombed, b/c they won’t make another.

  96. 96.

    jnfr

    July 3, 2012 at 12:30 am

    I’m with Arclight. It was good, and too bad it was promoted so poorly.

  97. 97.

    moderateindy

    July 3, 2012 at 12:54 am

    had never read much of Burroughs stuff, and was unfamiliar with the John Carter series. A buddy of mine recommended Princess of Mars, and I have to say it was a fantastic read. I am planning on reading the whole series. Rented the flick and thought it pretty decent.
    On another topic I read something , I think from factcheck.org, about Obamacare where they criticized Obama for claiming that under the ACA people that like the insurance they had can keep it. They claimed he wasn’t being truthful because Obamacare doesn’t guarantee that your employer can’t decide to change which plan they offer. Yes, because that’s what Obama was implying with that statement. Why would that statement even bother to be rated. You have to be dumber than a tea party supporter to think that he was saying that your employer doesn’t get to decide what insurance they offer. But it’s pretty equivalent to the Romney campaign that cited the results of an online survey by the Chamber of Commerce of their members regarding what the ACA will do to plans for hiring workers as proof that ACA will hurt employment. So people being too stupid to understand a simple statement is equivalent to using total crap data to make an attack on a policy……..nice false equivalency…..see both sides do it!! Holy frack we are doomed

  98. 98.

    Original Lee

    July 3, 2012 at 12:57 am

    One more voice to say pretty good movie with pretty bad marketing. I was pleasantly surprised that the story was still mostly recognizable. I also liked that a lot of thought went into how to portray characters who had more than two hands. I didn’t like all of the cobalt blue foreshadowing in the first part of the movie.

  99. 99.

    Tony the Wonderhorse

    July 3, 2012 at 1:58 am

    the movie is okay, not bad but rarely great, it’s worth seeing once

    as someone who adored the books, it could have been the Second Coming

    such is life

  100. 100.

    JGabriel, Statist Minded Ideologue of the Left

    July 3, 2012 at 3:06 am

    John Cole:

    Did any of you see [John Carter]? Was it really that bad, and is the Ishtar of 2012?

    It really isn’t. I saw it, and it was dumb fun. So many filmmakers have ripped off Burroughs over the years, that it ironically felt a little derivative, but I enjoyed it.

    Certainly not a great movie, but a good, pulpy, adaptation of pulpy, scifi-ish adventure stories. I’d give it a 7 out of 10.

    .

  101. 101.

    Taylor

    July 3, 2012 at 4:47 am

    It was a reasonably decent steam punk film. George Lucas and James Cameron will freely admit the debt they owe to ERB. Some parts I could quibble with, other changes to the original I liked.

    Besides the awful marketing (as someone says, what genius decided to drop “Mars” from the title?), it was revelatory to see the critics pile on once they smelled blood in the water. Uncritical adherence to conventional wisdom is not restricted to inside-the-Beltway pundits.

    My biggest problem with the film was that it was very, well, white. Given ERB’s racism, I thought it would have been nice to make the “red people” AA, or least have color-blind casting, but there wasn’t a single non-Caucasian face in the entire movie. Unless you count the tharks….

  102. 102.

    presquevu

    July 3, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Maybe it was because I was getting the audio on in-flight headphones, but I found the vocal effects on John Carter’s voice were annoying. It was the female lead’s acting that made me give up on it somewhere before the middle.

  103. 103.

    PurpleGirl

    July 3, 2012 at 7:38 am

    (I was away from home last night so I missed the thread then.)

    I liked John Carter. I thought it was fun. As people said up-thread, the marketing was bad and they never should have dropped “of Mars” from the title. What kind of a story is “John Carter” as opposed to “John Carter of Mars”?

  104. 104.

    Nina

    July 3, 2012 at 8:34 am

    I liked John Carter, enough to buy it on DVD. When we watched it at home it was miles better because the 3D in this movie was really badly done. A bunch of things that looked muddy and confusing in the 3D version were dynamic and interesting when you watch in 2D. And it didn’t give me a headache.

    3D really shouldn’t be added to films that aren’t made with 3D in mind; this was a prime example.

  105. 105.

    Barry

    July 3, 2012 at 9:00 am

    See the movie. It’s fun. F*ck the critics.

  106. 106.

    NCSteve

    July 3, 2012 at 10:28 am

    I’ve read some of the books and always thought it was a premise that needed a better writer then the guy who came up with it was–or at least one who was consistently excellent rather than the occasional excellent sentence or paragraph ERB would come up with.

    So I understood the series well enough to tell who was who and where they’d jiggered the plot and the characters. And, with that background, I walked of the theater saying “I was entertained the entire two hours. What more can one ask? Fucking critics.”necessity for the rating.

  107. 107.

    Herbal Infusion Bagger

    July 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

    “As a fan of the original books, I enjoyed it alot- sad that it was marketed so poorly. But as it is the source material for many sci-fi “classics”, it had an uphill battle. Watch Luke Skywalker battle the Rancor beast and tell me George Lucas wasn’t directly ripping off J.C. vs. White Apes… When I watched Avatar (and liked it), I was thinking, “this is just John Carter on a different planet.”

    I loved the movie, so did my kid. But I have books on the history of sci-fi and love pulp-era fiction, although I’ve not read much ERB.

    Commercially, it looks like with the foreign earnings it came close to breaking-even, rather than the financial disaster it was protrayed.

    But critics panned before even seeing the screenings for being derivative without understanding this was the root of all sci-fi space opera before the term “science fiction” had even been coined, i.e. this was the root source of all the space opera that they’d seen before.

  108. 108.

    Herbal Infusion Bagger

    July 3, 2012 at 11:12 am

    While others are praising ERB, I’ll note that reading early 20th century escapist literature is sometimes very refreshing because sci-fi/fantasy was still developing as a genre.

    If you’re a fantasy fan, reading Lord Dunsany can be a real treat because he was writing before the genre became so heavily influenced by Tolkein. Similarly with Clark Ashton Smith and the other pulp writers. There can be more surprises with stories written back then than in a recent copy of the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.

    [Still can’t recommend E.E. Doc Smith if you’re older than 11, though.]

  109. 109.

    MBunge

    July 3, 2012 at 11:30 am

    From what I gather, they let the Pixar guy just run wild with John Carter, exploding the budget and doing the commercials and marketing plan himself. When the movie turned out good but not great, that made it easy for everyone else at the studio to essentially abandon it rather than pour in another 50 to 100 million to effectively promote it.

    The whole thing reminded me that when the original Conan movie came out, it arrived at the end of a decade long revival of interest in the character in paperbacks and comics. It’s harder for that to occur naturally in today’s far more cluttered media landscape.

    Mike

  110. 110.

    Aaron

    July 3, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Stupid fun. Pretty too!

  111. 111.

    celticdragonchick

    July 3, 2012 at 11:58 am

    @MikeJ:

    Who doesn’t love Sahara? Bogey is incredible in it.

    One of the best WW II movies every made. What’s not to love about a bunch of half-lost American, Brit, French and South African soldiers fleeing the Germans on a tank named Lulubelle?

    The film of the same name based on the Dirk Pitt novels is an atrocity.

  112. 112.

    gogol's wife

    July 3, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    @celticdragonchick:

    Oh God, I’m late for this, but I love the Bogart Sahara. “Three swallows.”

  113. 113.

    patroclus

    July 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    John Carter is a very fun film – definitely worth seeing!

  114. 114.

    Herbal Infusion Bagger

    July 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    “I’ve read some of the books and always thought it was a premise that needed a better writer then the guy who came up with it was—or at least one who was consistently excellent rather than the occasional excellent sentence or paragraph ERB would come up with.”

    True of a lot of genre writers, though.

    Asimov couldn’t write a (human) character with a believable internal psychology (he did better with robots or computers), but could write a plot and have very novel philosophical idea at its core.

    Similarly, Lovecraft’s an awful prose stylist, but frankly who cares. I’d rather re-read him than yet another North London writer’s beautifully styled novel about a North London writer struggling with their marriage.

    I’ll put up with a lot of superfluous adjectives and awkwardly constructed paragraphs for a cracking yarn and a new idea.

  115. 115.

    My Truth Hurts

    July 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    I read the original stories and saw it in 3D and enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s big and dumb and fun and you see scenes that were stolen by earlier films like Star Wars, etc, but this was written in the 19th century so it wins the originality contest.

    NOT CRAP

  116. 116.

    tones

    July 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    I was disappointed in it , but it is still worth seeing.
    I went out and bought the 3D blu ray right away , really excited for a new sci fi fantasy movie.
    It was just ok, you spent the whole movie waiting for something good to happen and it never seemed to.
    The visuals were beautiful, but the characters and story [and writing] pretty dull.
    I wanted desperately to love this movie, but doubt I will re watch it other than for the graphics.

    Worth a watch, but the Martians are loin cloth wearing simpletons ?
    Meh

  117. 117.

    mclaren

    July 3, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    I loved it. Great film. It changed the original novel a little by introducing an teleportation amulet. In the original book, Carter falls asleep and somehow astrally projects himself to Mars.

    Grand romantic fun. America has no taste for grand romantic fun in the degraded and subhumanoid 2010s, however — after 9/11 America only cares about wallowing in revenge and violence and pain and suffering and torment. So TRANSFORMERS 2 made hundreds of millions, while this much better film died.

    The costumes and overall look of the film exactly nailed Burroughs’ 1917-era conception of a Martian civilization: alien and vaguely oriental, but strange and modernistic enough in a fin-de-siecle way that it was just right. The CGI for the Tharks and the banths was perfect. Totally convincing.

    A really wonderful film, and a million pities there won’t be a sequel.

  118. 118.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    July 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Me and the boy watched it. It sucked, mostly because it didn’t make a fucking bit of sense. None. That a storyline this retarded ever got made into a movie is a testament to the amazing variety and quantity of drugs available in Hollywood.

  119. 119.

    Phoebe

    July 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Saw it, loved it, am mad that there will be no sequel.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Image by WaterGirl (6/21/25)

Recent Comments

  • Matt McIrvin on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Waiting for the Doc Dump(s) (Jun 20, 2025 @ 9:14am)
  • HinTN on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Waiting for the Doc Dump(s) (Jun 20, 2025 @ 9:09am)
  • Baud on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Waiting for the Doc Dump(s) (Jun 20, 2025 @ 9:03am)
  • Baud on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Waiting for the Doc Dump(s) (Jun 20, 2025 @ 9:02am)
  • RevRick on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Waiting for the Doc Dump(s) (Jun 20, 2025 @ 9:01am)

Personality Crisis Podcast (Cole, DougJ, mistermix)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!