Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Fani Willis claps back at Trump chihuahua, Jim Jordan.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Another missed opportunity for Jamie Dimon to just shut the fuck up.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

“Let’s not pretend [Trump] wants to engage in high-minded discourse.”

It’s a doggy dog world.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

American History and Black History can not be separated.

The Supreme Court is corrupt. Democrats must win in November and force court reform.

The jury literally has a bell they can ring to force Trump to show up on command. Greatest thing ever!

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

You are here: Home / Music / Ninety-eight degrees in the shade

Ninety-eight degrees in the shade

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I was at a wedding in northern Pennsylvania on the Allegheny and it was 94 degrees when I walked from the hotel to the reception.

Heard “Take Me in Your Arms (Rock Me a Little While)” (the Charity Brown version) driving down and it got me wondering…what are the best upbeat songs about getting humiliatingly dumped? I feel like it should be a rich genre but the only things jumping into my mind are that Better Than Ezra song, Elvis Costello’s “I Hope You’re Happy Now”, and “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”.

Also too, metrosexual black Abe Lincoln needs your ameros.

Goal Thermometer

Update. I forgot my very favorite.

Reader Interactions

111Comments

  5. 5.

    scav

    Could we Squeeze 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover in?

    ETA: Prepare for ouch: You Done Stomped on My Heart.

  7. 7.

    R-Jud

    I was at a wedding in Northeastern PA just west of the Delaware and we all jumped into the pool after the reception. While still in our gowns, though the men in rented suits changed first.

    R-Jud + 6

  8. 8.

    gbear

    ‘Go Now’ by the Moody Blues (when Denny Laine was still with them).

    ‘Walk Away Renee’ by The Left Banke or The Four Tops.

    ‘No Reply’ by The Beatles.

  23. 23.

    burnspbesq

    “I Fall to Pieces,” Patsy Cline. Nothing else comes close.

    On second thought, “Trail of Broken Hearts” by k.d. lang comes close.

  24. 24.

    Alison

    Not necessarily “humiliatingly” but “Now That I Don’t Have You” by Jill Sobule is pretty good on the better-off-that-you’re-fucking-gone front

    I have hope
    Now that I don’t have you
    I have faith
    Now that I’m alone
    I’m not bashing my head against the wall
    I’m not waiting forever for your call
    I’m not wasting time
    Now that I don’t have you

    …

    I have dreams
    Now that you’re not lying next to me
    I can sleep
    I can rest in peace

  26. 26.

    MikeJ

    The Buzzcocks, “Ever Fallen In Love With Someone (You Shouldn’t’ve Fallen In Love With)?”

  27. 27.

    MikeBoyScout

    Doug, for an expat from western PA who spent many a fantastic summer day on the Allegheny from Aspinwall to the Kinzua reservoir, care to ID where you are?

    Nostalgia

  30. 30.

    Steeplejack

    An oldie–Cat Stevens’s “Here Comes My Baby.” The Mavericks version, in honor of AsiangrrlMN. Upbeat but sad.

    You never walk alone, and you’re forever talking on the phone.
    I try to call you names, but every time it comes out the same.
    __
    Here comes my baby, here she comes now,
    And it comes as no surprise to me, with another guy.

  32. 32.

    lamh35

    This counts, the song is actually a true break-up song. Pink wrote it while her and her husband was seperating. Didn’t last though, since they got back together almost right after this album came out and now they are proud parents of a baby girl together.

    Pink – So What

  33. 33.

    FlipYrWhig

    I nominate the Buzzcocks, “Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve Fallen in Love With),” and continue with Hüsker Dü, “Don’t Want to Know if You Are Lonely.”. Maybe the former is pre-breakup, I’m not quite sure.

  37. 37.

    MikeBoyScout

    @DougJ: :-)

    don’t know which way is home, but a stop in Oil City tomorrow is recommended along with stops at every homemade ice cream stand.

  39. 39.

    PhoenixRising

    Nanci Griffith, ‘Lost him in the sun’–sounds like a Beach Boys ode to a car, then you realize it’s a shout at the kind of breakup that was a hit from a 2×4 level surprise.

    …carry that scar like you know what lonely is…

  44. 44.

    Wallis Lane

    The Byrds: “I’ll Feel a Whole Lot Better”

    Absolutely the most joyous song ever about dumping a huge pain-in-the-ass burden. Sang it after McCain / Palin crashed and burned, and also every time the Celtics get knocked out of the playoffs.

  49. 49.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    “Since You’ve Been Gone”. Kelly Clarkson. (My guilty pleasure, I’ve got all her CDs)

    But since you’ve been gone
    I can breathe for the first time
    Im so movin on
    Yeah yeah
    Thanks to you
    Now I get
    I get what I want
    Since you’ve been gone

    Not sure from the lyrics if she was dumped or just saw the light, but it’s upbeat as all hell, ain’t it?

  51. 51.

    Steeplejack

    YouTube is doing that stuttering-audio thing again. I associate it with about every third or fourth upgrade of Firefox. Is it that, or is it something else, and is there a cure? I am lazy and I want to be told what to do. (It’s still 90° outside at almost midnight.)

  54. 54.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    96 Tears, ? And the Mysterians

    You`re way on top now since you left me
    You’re always laughing way down at me
    But watch out now, I`m gonna get there
    We`ll be together for just a little while
    And then I`m gonna put you way down here
    And you`ll start crying ninety-six tears
    Cry, cry

    ETA: Well, more of a revenge song than upbeat, but at least it’s not a tear-jerker ballad.

  58. 58.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @burnspbesq: Wow, that’s great! Love the guitars. Never heard of Phil Seymour, will have to check him out.

  69. 69.

    psycholinguist

    I love this one:
    Lyle Lovett – “I married her, just because she looks like you”

    and runner up:

    “she’s hot to go she’s ready (she’s ugly from the front)”

  72. 72.

    Steve T.

    You can go back to the 40s with Louis Jordan’s “Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby.” Lots of blues musicians have covered it.

  87. 87.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Here’s a good ‘dump yer ass’ song for the right person:

    You’re a fake, you’re a snake
    You’re a sleazy operator
    Always on the take
    You’re a liar, you’re a cheat
    You’re good at startin’ fires but
    You can’t take the heat
     
    You’re gonna get it now…
    You’re gonna get what’s comin’ to you
    You won’t forget this time…
    (The tables turnin’ round and now it’s)
     
    Heads I win, tails you lose
    I may not be Sherlock
    But you ain’t got a clue
    Heads I win, tails you lose
    I may not be a doctor
    But you’re sick as a flu
     
    You’re a user, you’re a slime
    You better look somewhere else
    For someone else to climb
    You’re a loser, out of time
    You’d send your momma up the river
    To make a lousy dime
     
    You’re gonna get it now…
    You’re gonna get what’s comin’ to you
    You won’t forget it this time…
    (The tables turnin’ round and now it’s)
     
    Heads I win, tails you lose
    I may not be Sherlock
    But you ain’t got a clue
    Heads I win, tails you lose
    I may not be a doctor
    But you’re sick as a flu
    Heads I win, tails you lose
    I may not be a surgeon
    But I’ll cut you right through
    Heads I win, tails you lose
    I may not be a preacher
    But it’s hell I’ll send you to

    Does not fit all breakups, use only when you know that there’s no going back. :)

  89. 89.

    Darkrose

    Does parody count? Because I played “One More Minute” for months after my ex dumped me.

    Because I’d rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
    Than spend one more minute with you.

  91. 91.

    Don

    Also, Elvis Costello’s “Watching the Detectives”…Guy Clark “How’d You Get This Number”…

  94. 94.

    Bruuuuce

    ::smacks head::

    Duh. From Meat Loaf’s Bat Out Of Hell come two of the best: “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” and “Paradise By the Dashboard Light” (and why would any sane and rational couple play that at a wedding? I’ve heard it at not one, but TWO wedding receptions).

  95. 95.

    danielx

    Running Out Of Time by Joan Osborne….

    If I ever sit to write the story
    I’ll say something nice
    about you when you’re dead

    Ouch.

  100. 100.

    sam dobermann

    Really upbeat?

    Got along without you before I met you
    Gonna get along without you now

    Uh huh, uh huh, gonna get along without you now
    Uh huh my honey, uh huh my honey,
    Gonna get along without you now

    You told me I was the neatest thing
    You even asked me to wear your ring
    You ran around with every girl in town
    You never cared if it got me down

    Uh huh, uh huh, gonna get along without you now.
    Uh huh my honey, uh huh my honey,
    Gonna get along without you now

    Got along without you before I met you
    Gonna get along without you now
    Gonna find somebody who’s twice as cute
    ‘Cause I didn’t like you anyhow

    You told everybody that we were friends
    But this is where our friendship ends
    ‘Cause all of a sudden you changed your tune
    You haven’t been around since way last June.

    Uh huh, uh huh, gonna get along without you now.
    Got along without you before I met you
    Gonna get along without you now

    So long my honey
    Goodbye my dear
    Gonna get along without you now

    Teresa Brewer’s version

    Oh god, I am old.

    It’s a very satisfying song and easy to create your own verses.

  101. 101.

    RSA

    Two favorites come to mind, though they’re not an exact match:

    George Thorogood’s version of “Move it on over”.

    The Kinks, “Sunny Afternoon”.

  105. 105.

    ChrisB

    Can’t beat “I Will Survive” but how about “Take A Letter, Maria” by R.B. Greaves (and when was the last time that phrase was used in real life)?

  108. 108.

    Kay Eye

    This Ain’t My First Rodeo – I seem to remember a Rusty Wier version but can’t locate it on YouTube.
    Linda Ronstadt singing “I been cheated, been mistreated, when will I be loved?”
    Ditto Pink Martini’s Eugene.

  109. 109.

    Amir Khalid

    When You’re Alone by Bruce, off the Tunnel of Love album:
    “When you’re alone, you ain’t nothing but alone”

    Also, 9,999,999 Tears by Dicky Lee.

  111. 111.

    Sherean

    “Romeo and Juliet” by Dire Straits (or the cover by The Killers which is blasphemous of me but I like it)

    Also, “A Sorta Fairytale” by Tori Amos.

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