Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

… gradually, and then suddenly.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

The lights are all blinking red.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

You are here: Home / Politics / Crazification Factor / Romney Surrogate Ted Nugent: ‘Maybe it Would Have Been Best if the South Won the Civil War’

Romney Surrogate Ted Nugent: ‘Maybe it Would Have Been Best if the South Won the Civil War’

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Ted Nugent is talking again, and he’s saying things – crazy things.

He’s saying wistful things about the Civil War and how it might have been better if the South had won.

He’s saying other stupid things, too.

Reader Interactions

68Comments

  1. 1.

    gnomedad

    The right wants its country back, and the country they want is the Confederacy.

  4. 4.

    c u n d gulag

    GOB POV:

    Now, them Dixie Chick’s talking ’bout bein’ ‘shamed o’ bein’ frum Texus, THAT them there was some treasonous sh*t!

    Bunch-a beytotches opinin’ away like they wuz kommy traterz ‘r somethin’.

    Ted?
    He’s one ‘a us – a geetar playin’, young p*ssey chasin’ Good-Ol’-Boy!

    ‘N further, he’s raiyat – there ain’t one ‘o us don’t think the same damn thing down here!

    ‘N that AIN’T no treason – that’s there’s him talkin’ some good old kuntry common sense, folks.

  6. 6.

    JS

    Hank Williams Jr said it first, about 30 years ago.

    “If the South woulda won, we’da had it made…
    I’d probably be President of the Southern States..”

    (Yes, Hank Jr has never had a whole bunch of skill with the language.)

  7. 7.

    BruceFromOhio

    Ah, shit. Does this mean we hafta burn down Atlanta again? I’m kind of fond of it the way it is.

    Ted Nugent is a gaping sphincter gone way past its sell-by date. He gets press for the same reasons provided for Terry what’s-it’s-face-woman-hater and the Westboro freaks that protest soldier funerals: every circus needs its freakshow.

  8. 8.

    freelancer

    Because our legislative, judicial and executive branches of government hold the 10th Amendment in contempt, I’m beginning to wonder if it would have been best had the South won the Civil War. Our Founding Fathers’ concept of limited government is dead.

    Oh not this Slave states, States’ Rights bullshit again.

    Three words for your toddler-level understanding of States’ Rights and cheerleading for the 10th Amendment: Fugitive Slave Act.

    Go play with your assault rifles and have a jam session with Huckabee you dumbfuck.

  9. 9.

    Raven

    Six U.S. troops were killed by an improvised explosive device Sunday in eastern Afghanistan, a U.S. official said.

  10. 10.

    hildebrand

    Time to gin up the outrage machine and make Romney address this rank stupidity. Not that it really matters, I just want to see Romney try to defend Nugent, which would be worth the entertainment value, plus it keeps him on the defensive.

    I sometimes wonder if it is Obama’s strategy to simply keep Romney reacting – keep him a step behind the entire campaign, as it seems that Romney can’t counterpunch worth a damn. Makes him all tetchy and small-minded.

  11. 11.

    sharl

    OT, and quiz time – as part of a story on the national discussion of whether to raise the minimum wage, weekend All Things Considered anchor Guy Raz just played a brief audio clip from a typical small businessman, y’know, salt of the earth kinda guy, who opposes the efforts to raise the minimum wage.

    Name that guy, and if your guess matches the name here, you win the Tunch Hero of Journamalism award, physically manifested as material collected by the Mighty Furminator.

  12. 12.

    Spatula

    I DO think the rest of the country would now be in better shape if the Southern States had been left to secede and form the ridiculous little country they would now be.

    Politically, socially, economically, and morally, they are nothing but a blood sucking tumor on the body of the United States.

    Do you dispute this?

  15. 15.

    Commenting at Ballon Juice since 1937

    1) If the southern states had been allowed to secede, there would have been a war eventually.

    2) There’s an interesting movie along these lines, presented as documentary on Netflix.
    Confederate States of America

  16. 16.

    freelancer

    @Spatula:

    I DO think the rest of the country would now be in better shape if the Southern States had been left to secede and form the ridiculous little country they would now be.
    Politically, socially, economically, and morally, they are nothing but a blood sucking tumor on the body of the United States.
    Do you dispute this?

    Um, Yeah. I for one could do without the alternative history where the Union is and has been bordered by a Republic of Gilead theo-fascist Confederacy where it did everything it could to fuck with any action the USA took in terms of trade or diplomacy. The world didn’t end when they lost the war. What would the CSA as its own Nation-State have done in terms of imperial expansion into Central and South America? Mexico? WWI? WWII? The Cuban Missile Crisis? I shudder to think.

  17. 17.

    HEY YOU

    Do the Conservatives,Right Wingers,TeaPartyers call draft dodgers,COWARDS?

    Spatula:”Politically, socially, economically, and morally, they are nothing but a blood sucking tumor on the body of the United States.”

    You’re being too nice.

  22. 22.

    13th Generation

    Well thank gawd we have ABL to keep us on the forefront of the news cycle. Where have you been for the past week, besides the twitters?

  23. 23.

    huckster

    @HEY YOU: @Spatula: So a guy from Michigan says something really stupid and you decide this is a good reason to bag on a whole region.

    the stupid, it burns

  25. 25.

    Bostondreams

    @freelancer:

    Harry Turtledove has a whole series on this, spinning out of his novel ‘How Few Remain’. In a few brief words, the US, after losing the war, turns to the Prussian model to reform its military and sides with the Central Powers in WWI, while the CSA, having become an imperialist nation, sides with its allies France and Britain. After years of trench warfare on two continents, the US and its allies emerge triumphant and the CSA follows the path of the Weimar Republic in the real history, camps and all. It actually is an interesting group of books with some nice cameos (or significant roles) from historical figures. For example, in the books covering WWI, Teddy Roosevelt is the Democratic US president (the Republicans were a minor third party after losing the Civil War, with the Socialists the second largest party) and Whig Woodrow Wilson leads the CSA.
    If your a history buff, you might like them, and it does not paint a rosy picture of what happens after the CSA wins the Civil War.

  27. 27.

    Schlemizel

    in addition to the continued horror of human bondage there would be no public schools and no public roads, no national transportation system of any kind. There would have been no industrialization. That means WWI would have dragged on for many more years and Europe would have been devastated with a couple of generations of young men wiped off the earth. Japan would have come to control the entire Pacific. The CSA would be a weak, third-world cesspool of poverty and ignorance with great national resources waiting to be exploited by stronger nations. And Ted? He’d be a subsistence farmer if he was lucky enough to have survived childhood.

  28. 28.

    freelancer

    @Bostondreams:

    I’ve heard of the series, but I thought it was more sci-fi version of alternate history. Like what if the South had M-16s and machine guns in the Civil War?

  29. 29.

    Ash Can

    I’m beyond caring what this brainless has-been says, but I do agree with hildebrand @ no. 10. Romney really should be made to address the shit this asswipe says, especially since Romney chased after his endorsement in the first place.

  30. 30.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    I have one objection to your description of the guy who shit his pants to avoid Vietnam; You state that he’s one beer short of a six pack. No, he’s five beers short of a six pack and the one that’s there is open, hot and half-empty.

    There’s a bee, a mosquito and a few flies floating in it too.

  31. 31.

    Bostondreams

    @freelancer:

    No, that’s Guns of the South. Different book. This one is the Southern Victory series. In the latter, the CSA wins because the Special Order 191 is never discovered by the Union, contributing to the capture of Philly by the CSA since McClellan couldn’t find Lee and there was no Antietam.
    I really recommend the series.

  32. 32.

    LanceThruster

    @freelancer:

    from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman%27s_March_to_the_Sea

    We are not only fighting armies, but a hostile people, and must make old and young, rich and poor, feel the hard hand of war, as well as their organized armies. I know that this recent movement of mine through Georgia has had a wonderful effect in this respect. Thousands who had been deceived by their lying papers into the belief that we were being whipped all the time, realized the truth, and have no appetite for a repetition of the same experience. — Letter, Sherman to Henry W. Halleck, December 24, 1864.[8]

  33. 33.

    quannlace

    and he’s saying things – crazy things.

    I think he can probably have this tatooed on his forehead.

  34. 34.

    Weaselone

    @Schlemizel: A Confederate victory would not have meant an end to the rest of the Union under most circumstances. I strongly suspect that the North would have still developed all those things, perhaps even more quickly without the South attached. Heck, just the South seceding in the first place allowed the passage of the Morrill Act in 1862. Without the Civil War the US may never have established its land grant colleges.

  35. 35.

    huckster

    @freelancer: Like what if the South had M-16s and machine guns in the Civil War?

    They still would have lost, but it certainly excites the fervid imaginings of some of my neighbors, who believe that if Ewell had taken that damn hill at Gettysburg, then our noble cause would have won the day. I have actually heard people say this with a straight face.

    Ya’ll will never understand because ya’ll have never tasted invasion or defeat.There are many white southerners that believe that it was southerners that invented the Goddamned country and that America has been lost for 150 plus years. They are fueled by shame, at defeat in the field,(mostly) and by their acceptance of inhumanity, be it slavery, or Jim Crow,(shame at having their noses rubbed in it) but conceit and damned pride will always cause them to double down. This will not change, but everytime big brother forces them to take their medicine things get better.

  36. 36.

    Patricia Kayden

    Has any CNN/MSNBC/ABC/CBS/NBC reporter ever asked Romneybot 2.0 or any of his spokespeople about Nugent’s treasonous comments?

    When Hilary Rosen MADE A TRUE COMMENT about Ann Romney, all hell broke loose to the point where everyone and their dog had to apologize (all the way up to President Obama). Why doesn’t Romneybot have to apologize for his supporters’ insane comments?

    And Nugent is free to leave the US and find a confederate state (some all White racist Utopia — possible Russia) to live in if he doesn’t like the way the Civil War turned out.

  38. 38.

    freelancer

    @huckster:

    They still would have lost, but it certainly excites the fervid imaginings of some of my neighbors, who believe that if Ewell had taken that damn hill at Gettysburg, then our noble cause would have won the day.

    I’m currently reading Confederates in the Attic right now. It’s a bit trippy.

  40. 40.

    Lancelot Link

    In some cases, Cat Scratch Fever can result in “generalized dysfunction of the brain”.

  41. 41.

    Narcissus

    I read some of that Turtledove series about space-aliens disrupting World War Two. It was fun, if not terribly original.

  42. 42.

    huckster

    @freelancer: Haven’t read it, but I can imagine. It’s truly weird how a 21st century being can hang onto conceit for so long. The South was played out by ’62, meanwhile; Grant, and Sherman were creating modern warfare as we know it (total war) which proved to be much more effective. Game theories about the south winning the war is navel gazing at best, and ridiculous for the most part.

  43. 43.

    HEY YOU

    huckster@5:59pm
    You are probably correct.I’ll leave the South alone. They got their butts handed to them in the Civil War. By the way,I lived there 61 yrs. My family is Red Neck White Trash.

  44. 44.

    Cacti

    Ted Nugent’s dog learned to drag his ass across the carpet by watching his master.

  46. 46.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Ash Can:

    I was thinking more like Old Milwaukee, something that was left in the trunk of some thrashed 70’s beater.

    Bud Lite is too classy for his sad ass.

  47. 47.

    PaulW

    I seriously want to see a law passed to have every confederate flag on display to have the words “Traitor” or “Loser” sewn onto both sides in large easy-to-read letters so those things will be historically accurate.

  48. 48.

    Schlemizel

    @Weaselone: I don’t think so because every state that had a disagreement with or thought it was getting the short end of a federal deal would have gone off to form ad hoc groups. The SOuth would have fragmented also & reformed across other interests. Slavery would have made its way to the mining regions out West because its so damn cheap compared to even the crappy wages paid in the day. Slavery would have stalled the industrial revolution even in the North eventually

  49. 49.

    AxelFoley

    @Spatula:

    I DO think the rest of the country would now be in better shape if the Southern States had been left to secede and form the ridiculous little country they would now be.
    Politically, socially, economically, and morally, they are nothing but a blood sucking tumor on the body of the United States.
    Do you dispute this?

    So, fuck all the slaves they would have kept, right?

  50. 50.

    Roy G.

    Kinda funny coming from a guy whose only hits came during the Carter administration.

  52. 52.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @huckster: It should be noted that the South was not all Hurrah for secession. Places like Northern Louisiana and Eastern Tennessee did not want to leave and thought the CSA, was nothing more than government of the planters. Arkansas IIRC actually voted no on secession but through political dirty tricks secession was passed on a 2nd vote. And there units in the Union Army that were made up of Southerners.

  53. 53.

    smith

    He should be referred to as “Romney Surrogate Ted Nugent”…

    Ted needs to stop commentating on politics and go back to cheating on his wife and making illegitimate children. Or trying to “adopt” 16-year-old Hawaiian chicks just so he could f**k them.

  57. 57.

    Weaselone

    @Schlemizel: I’m not so certain.

    1. Just because the South wins the war, doesn’t mean that the remaining states in the union accept the argument that the union is a gentlemen’s club.

    2. Further splitting of the Union and Confederacy would have been balanced by the fear on the part of individual states that they might be absorbed by the other side through conquest.

    Regarding slavery:

    Slavery was either gone, or on its way out in the most of North. It seems unlikely that a Northern defeat would have lead to a reversal of societal pressures that were moving the northern tier of states away from slavery.

    The north would have likely retained control of all the Western territories even in defeat. They occupied the territory and the South would have had to trade any territorial gains in the East for those that Grant and others had already seized in the West. With the South eliminated it’s almost a certainty that the Union would have banned slavery in the territories.

    Plus the small total number of slaves existing in the North combined with the existing ban on the international slave trade would have essentially guaranteed slavery would have died out in the North. Chances of the expansion of the slave population in the north to a sufficient size that it could be used to mine the west and pose a threat to free labor would have been nearly zero.

  58. 58.

    Brachiator

    @Spatula:

    I DO think the rest of the country would now be in better shape if the Southern States had been left to secede and form the ridiculous little country they would now be.

    I never understand stuff like this, which conveniently ignores the existence of slavery. Would the rest of the country really have been better off allowing slavery to continue? And the lives of black people in the South certainly would go on being a living hell.

    The remnant America that would have been the North would have been morally crippled, not even able to continue a pretense of being a beacon of liberty. And it would no doubt have diplomatic relations with the South, and probably would have gone along with segregation in order to accommodate Southern sensibilities. Southerners, of course, would be permitted to bring their slaves North and there would likely have been a new version of a Fugitive Slave Act.

    It’s doubtful that there would ever have been a Civil Rights movement, or much agitation to improve the rights of blacks in the North.

    The South may even have been granted territorial concessions, some territories that could become future slave states. Even here, the South would still have been an economically stagnant area, paranoid and resentful of the industrialization and advances in the North.

    It’s really hard to see any upside in the notion that any good would have come out of letting the South go its own way.

  60. 60.

    Bruce S

    “Ted Nugent is talking again, and he’s saying things – crazy things”

    That’s redundant…I don’t think this guy has ever opened his mouth without the bats flying out. The fact that Romney had a desperate phone call with Ted Nugent asking for his support is enough, in itself, to disqualify Willard from the Presidency. If such a thing is possible, having Nugent on board is undermining the credibility of neo-Confederates.

  63. 63.

    Steeplejack

    @phoebes-in-santa fe:

    Sometimes just the headlines at The Onion are good enough. On that page you linked:

    – “Keith Richards’ Housekeeper Has Braced Herself for Finding Dead Body”

    – “Obama Slips ‘Hope’ into Speech for the Fans”

  64. 64.

    rea

    The South was played out by ‘62, meanwhile; Grant, and Sherman were creating modern warfare as we know it (total war) which proved to be much more effective. Game theories about the south winning the war is navel gazing at best, and ridiculous for the most part.

    No, the war was still winnable for the South until after the 1864 election, which Lincoln thought he could well lose. The Union always had the resources to win, but eh issue whas whether the peop-le of the Union could stomach the losses necessary to acheive victory.

  67. 67.

    DHBoggs

    @c u n d gulag:

    I wonder if you are always such a bigot cundgulag? Do you have a solution for dealing with your good ol’ boys? A final one perhaps?

  68. 68.

    TZ

    IMHO, as long as there is a USA, the civil war will be an ongoing bleeding wound on the nation’s psyche that will always be a foundation for conflict.

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