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Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / TBogg: Funniest Motherfucker in the Universe

TBogg: Funniest Motherfucker in the Universe

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I simply adore the Basset Master for posts like this one. An excerpt, in which a pair of whiny dickheads who discovered to their horror that Barack Obama is — gasp! a politician!— are righteously ridiculed:

And what is Michael Zambrelli’s greatest achievement in life? Well, he is the man who helped to rebrand Chuck E. Cheese from a teenager forced into wearing a moth-eaten rat costume reeking of sweat, old cheese and minimum wage while entertaining packs of feral children eating slightly warm cardboard and ketchup-flavored pizza when they’re not cavorting in one of those Ball Pits of Childhood Diseases into a backwards-hat-wearing “hip, electric-guitar-playing rock star” just like Scott Stapp but with less Jesus.

Maybe it’s because I once had to crawl into a urine-stinking human Habitrail at Chuck E. Cheese and haul out a naked feral child who was blocking the exit chute, thus entrapping a dozen children, including my then five-year-old daughter, that I found TBogg’s description so howlingly funny. Or maybe it’s just because TBogg is the funniest motherfucker in the universe. Rock on, Mr. Bogg.

Reader Interactions

155Comments

  1. 1.

    Patricia Kayden

    Dang, I was way too poor to ever set foot into Chuck E. Cheese. Glad I didn’t miss anything.

  2. 2.

    BGinCHI

    Just this weekend a buddy of mine told us, when someone mentioned Chuck E. Cheese jokingly, that they have to screen people before they let them into those places because they have become a haven for pedophiles.

    Is this true?

    If so, maybe Zambrelli is bucking for Monsignor?

  3. 3.

    beltane

    When we lived in NY my then pre-school aged son attended many, many birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese. He now claims he was traumatized by the experience. I know for a fact that I was traumatized by the experience.

  4. 4.

    Violet

    I got taken to Chuck E Cheese once when I was just a bit too old for it, maybe I was eleven or so. I found it kind of depressing in how hard it was trying to be fun. Never wanted to go back.

  5. 5.

    The Moar You Know

    they have to screen people before they let them into those places because they have become a haven for pedophiles.

    @BGinCHI: Don’t know if this is true (wouldn’t shock me in the slightest) but I DO know that they’ve become one of the biggest sources of domestic violence calls for local police all over the country, and that quite a few of them are installing metal detectors because of the associated shootings.

  6. 6.

    beltane

    @Violet: My son was genuinely terrified at these parties as were a good number of his classmates. I never really understood the appeal.

  7. 7.

    Ash Can

    Not that I don’t love TBogg’s writing too, but what the hell is he talking about, “rebrand?” That’s still exactly what Chuck E. Cheese is, unless TBogg means that Zambrelli made it even worse.

  8. 8.

    geg6

    And that is exactly why I don’t have children. So I never have to be subjected to shitty places like Chuck E. Cheese.

    As for Mr. Bogg, should the lovely Mrs. Bogg ever take a hike, I’m willing to move to Cali. And I’m a dog lover.

  9. 9.

    scav

    On the upside, couldn’t we treat ourselves to visions of the Mittster in a Mouse Uniform and GOP ball pit in an attempt to rebrand as “cool” based on his “grass-roots” suggestion-box? (talk about traumatic visions . . . )

  11. 11.

    John Weiss

    Chuck E Cheese. Wow. Our then six year old attended one of those rodeos. Once. It was a traumatic experience for my wife and I and the kid. We all plan to never set foot in such a place again. I’d rather hang out at a teabagger event.

  12. 12.

    Violet

    @beltane: I think it’s the darkness, being inside with all the games and other loud noises. It’s depressing because it’s dark (or the one I went to was) and all the activity is overwhelming. Me not like.

  14. 14.

    Hal

    backwards-hat-wearing “hip, electric-guitar-playing rock star” just like Scott Stapp but with less Jesus.

    In what reality is Scott Stapp a hip rock star?

  15. 15.

    Cris (without an H)

    @beltane: I never really understood the appeal.

    Two words: video games. At least, for somebody who was 11 in 1981, Showbiz Pizza and its ugly cousin Chuck E. Cheese were Mecca with a hand full of tokens.

  17. 17.

    KyCole

    Love TBogg! When my kids were young there was a Chuck E Cheese in our mall. I can’t tell you how happy I was when it closed. That place was hell on earth.

  18. 18.

    Scott

    Taken my granddaughter there twice.
    Two times too many. She loves it, though.
    She’s only three, so what does she know?
    As for TBogg, he wins the internet every day.
    I dread the day when he hangs up his blogging toolbag, but I have a feeling it’s gonna be soon. He’s turning 57 dontcha know…that’s like eleventy-seven in Basset years.

  19. 19.

    beltane

    @Cris (without an H): That, at least, makes sense. But where I lived in the late ’90s it seemed like every 4 year old except mine was having their birthday party there, which is one of the reasons I decided to move and raise my kids someplace else.

  20. 20.

    Cris (without an H)

    @Ash Can: what the hell is he talking about, “rebrand?”

    Click through and read the links. Apparently they’ve decided Chuck E. Cheese should be a mouse with attitude. He’s edgy, he’s in your face. You’ve heard the expression “let’s get busy”? Well, this is a mouse who gets “biz-zay!” Consistently and thoroughly.

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    Yes, yes he is.

    Also, too, viz CCheeze–have had to escort redhead.edu to just one toddler bday party there, so my parental penance has been light. It’s the only place–and I swear on a stack of Kenny Rogers CDs this is true–I’ve ever been where there’s a line both to enter and to leave. I suspect there’s a motivation-related reason for the second.

  27. 27.

    bemused

    OT but Rick Perry said Medicaid expansion is like “adding 1,000 people to the Titanic”. I don’t know how much closer they can get to just saying uninsured people should just die.

  28. 28.

    slippy

    Thank God . . . I have3 served my time at Chuck E. Cheese, and yes the pizza tastes like cardboard, and yes it is a disease vector for kids, and no, it isn’t that much fun and my kids thankfully outgrew it pretty young.

    Reading about the Zambrelli clan and their fucking friends, and their predictably elitist bullshit has been one of the more horrifying things I’ve had to endure over the last few days.

    My favorite:

    A woman in a blue chiffon dress poked her head out of a black Range Rover here on Sunday afternoon and yelled to an aide to Mitt Romney. “Is there a V.I.P. entrance? We are V.I.P.”

    Oh, my god. For the chance to be the guy working that gate.

    The other one was the story about the Zambrelli woman throwing someone out of a pool chair because they’d saved the seats or something.

    One thing that I’ve learned about the wealthy in these glimpses: damn, they are fucking petty little people, aren’t they?

  29. 29.

    Darkrose

    @Hunter Gathers: That’s it!

    I’ve been trying to remember the name of Showbiz Pizza Place for years. I knew there was something other than Chuck E. Cheese’s when I was little, but I could never remember what it was called.

  31. 31.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    I had a birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese joint about 30 years ago. I enjoyed it from what I remember. Jasper Jowels played a mean guitar. I went to a different one about 15 years ago with my nieces and nephew. Never again.

  32. 32.

    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick

    at home in the hamptons, he is known as charles e. cheese IV ESQ.

  33. 33.

    Shlemizel

    Our DIL thinks upchuck cheese is THE place for the grandkids birthdays. (Have I mentioned our son married down?) We have skipped the last couple & told them it was because of the venue.Slipped the kids an extra $20 instead of spending it on crappy “pizza”.

    The kids hate the place too so I guess they have some taste

  34. 34.

    Cris (without an H)

    @Old Dan and Little Ann: In line with what I said earlier, I don’t imagine that CEC could possibly have the same appeal it did when I was a kid — not just because we all grew up, but because post 1983, the video arcade as a concept just isn’t relevant anymore. It was a huge draw for us of the Atari generation. But who cares now, when you don’t have to leave the house with a pocket full of quarters to play awesome video games?

  35. 35.

    trollhattan

    @bemused:

    Pierce caught goodhair spewing the following.

    “We’ve got some of the finest health care in the world,” he said. “So the idea that this federal government, which doesn’t like Texas to begin with, to pick and choose and come up with some data and say somehow Texas has the worst health care system in the world is just fake and false on its face.”

    Read more: esquire.com/blogs/politics/rick-perry-obamacare-10488457#ixzz20AQn8yZh

    Yeah, that’ll get ‘er done in a state with a quarter of the population uninsured.

  36. 36.

    bemused

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    That was good. Reminds me of Billionaires for Bush/Billionaires for WealthCare group. DH and I dressed up as Billionaires for Bush one Halloween with signs and handed out paper money with GW’s face.

  37. 37.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    @Cris (without an H): No doubt. My favorite was the bubble hockey game featuring the USA vs. USSR. It even had a boo button to press. Good times. Good times. But even at 7 I felt sorry for the poor douche bag in the CC outfit getting his tail pulled by an army of latch key kids.

  40. 40.

    SatanicPanic

    I don’t mind going to Chuck E Cheese because my son has declined repeated offers to take him to Disneyland in favor of Chuck E Cheese. Whatever you hate about Chuck E Cheese, Disneyland is 1000 times worse. So I indulge my son once a year or so. I manage to keep myself occupied with skeeball.

  43. 43.

    bemused

    @trollhattan:

    Perry said that after the Fox host pointed out 1 out of 4 Texans has no health insurance and 1 out of 4 is on Medicare or Medicaid. Facts lie!

    This slayed me. Perry: “The real issue is about freedom. Every Texan has health care in this state. How we pay for it and how we deliver it should be our decision”.

    IOW: How we won’t pay for it and won’t deliver it is our decision. Freedom to die sicker and quicker.

  46. 46.

    Quincy

    Wait, how did this asshole get rich coming up with awful rebranding ideas for Chucky Cheese?

  48. 48.

    Darkrose

    What’s the over/under on the Zambrellis complaining about being unfairly maligned and having their First Amendment rights trampled by reporting what they actually said?

  49. 49.

    j

    TBogg is the ONLY reason to visit Jane Norquist’s coven of malcontents (and Dan Choi fanboy site).

    Honestly, I go to teh Firebagger site just to read TBogg, but like a bad car crash, I catch something out of the corner of my eye and after a few seconds I feel like I need brain bleach.

    TBogg even addressed all the asshole Firebaggers with this classic takedown.

    tbogg.firedoglake.com/2008/02/25/your-mumia-sweatshirt-wont-get-you-into-heaven-anymore/

    I think Jane Norquist only keeps him around for HIS traffic.

  50. 50.

    Elisabeth

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    From the link:

    … some dipshit “marketing professional” graduated from college in 1992, settled into an entry level job at Chuck E. Cheese’s, promptly stopped giving a shit about what people care about (even though it’s an essential function of a marketing job) and has been climbing the corporate ladder through sheer corporate politics and seniority ever since. In turn, Chuck E. Cheese’s has been coasting by on this person’s blatant lack of talent for all these years and as a result now finds itself pulling this desperate bullshit to get kids interested in its pizza rat again.

  51. 51.

    Davis X. Machina

    @bemused: I want to see Perry blocking an out-patient clinic door, with a podium (and a milk crate to stand on) intoning for the press “Inflammation today, inflammation tomorrow, inflammation forever!”

  53. 53.

    JGabriel

    Wow, Michael Zambrelli is just like Don Draper, if he were played by a self-entitled whinging brat.

    .

  54. 54.

    pragmatism

    my little brother and i were inveterate mascot tormentors and Chuck E. Cheese was a great spot for tormenting. One of us would start pulling chuck’s tail. the other would stamp on his foot or escalate to a kick in the sack. good times. i still maintain that any mascot or person in costume = sanctioned violence is in play.

  57. 57.

    gelfling545

    @slippy: Although I’m pretty sure that the only rule about this is if you have to tell people you’re VIP, you’re really not.

  58. 58.

    Calouste

    @trollhattan:

    “We’ve got some of the finest health care in the world,”

    I’m sure Prick Erry is correct about that. What he doesn’t say is that that fine, fine health care isn’t available to the vast majority of the Texans. It’s like suggesting that your average banana republic is a first world country because the local dictator is driven around in a Rolls-Royce.

  59. 59.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @j: That was my favorite TBogg post of all time. He also eviscerated the PUMAs back in the day, with the same type of stuff. It was brilliant. I dearly love the man.

  60. 60.

    beltane

    @Mr Stagger Lee: For anyone familiar with the Britcom “Keeping Up Appearances”, that quote sounds exactly like something Hyacinth would say. Insecure much, lady?

  61. 61.

    JCT

    True story, last time I went to Chuck E. Cheese was exactly 18 years ago — my then 4-year-old had been asking and since I was still feeling guilty over having been an absentee parent while doing my residency, I FINALLY agreed.

    My husband and I took her, she enjoyed it. The very next day I went into labor and very nearly had my son at 27 weeks gestation. A week in the hospital and two months of strict bed rest later he was born.

    It is part of family lore that this was all caused by Chuck E. Cheese and my daughter never asked to go again.

    And T-Bogg is a treasure.

  63. 63.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    pragmatism:

    my little brother and i were inveterate mascot tormentors … One of us would start pulling chuck’s tail. the other would stamp on his foot or escalate to a kick in the sack. good times.

    I am so glad I never had children.

    .

  68. 68.

    Ash Can

    @gelfling545:
    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Precisely. The person who wrote that article did that woman a kindness by not printing her name, but was nonetheless acerbic enough to use her as an example of the type of people who attended this shindig. Ouch.

  70. 70.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Calouste:

    Not quite, it is like saying that “we in the US have the best vehicles in the world, if only you would work hard enough to be able to afford them”. Or, “we have the best 10,000 HSF mansions in the world, it is not our fault you can’t earn more than minimum wage to buy one.” Of course the loose translation of good hair’s comments is basically “just fucking die already we are tired of carrying your arse”.

  72. 72.

    HRA

    @gelfling545:

    “Although I’m pretty sure that the only rule about this is if you have to tell people you’re VIP, you’re really not.”

    So very true. In addition, they have VIP parking at the local casino for $3. Maybe she got confused and went to the wrong place.

  73. 73.

    Spaghetti Lee

    If I ever went to Chuck E Cheese as a kid, I guess I’ve blocked it out. We had a similar-but-better local place called Discovery Zone that I loved, but it closed in 2001 or so. I also loved D&B’s. Went to a friends’ 12th birthday party there.

    As for this Zimbrelli asshole, I’m not sure how much marketing genius it takes to sell cheap pizza and arcade games to little kids. If he went Galt they’d just plug someone else into his job.

  74. 74.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Regarding letting the Bush tax cuts expire for those who make more than $250,000, CNN’s Erin Burnett just asked Chris Coons (D)umb; “What about the 3.1 million American couples who make more than $250,000?” Yes Erin, what about the 1% who are going to suffer if they have to pay their fair share?

    My answer: Boo-fucking hoo.

    Now she’s talking about how the loss of the tax cuts on those who earn over $250,000 a year will result in a drop of 1% in the GDP. She says that since the GDP rises maybe 2-3% a year, this is SIGNIFICANT! Her whole opening segment is about how the President’s maths r rong.

    Too bad MSNBC repeats Hardball right now. I just had to look and see what is on CNN and my brain cells are already threatening suicide.

    ETA: Republican guest on with Erin “… voting is a privilege.” At least Rowland Martin is going off on her for saying such stupid shit.

  75. 75.

    kd bart

    Mitt Romney’s the type of guy who went to see Caddyshack and rooted for Judge Smails to put those slobs in their place.

  76. 76.

    beltane

    @Spaghetti Lee: If Zimbrelli ever went Galt I think his aggressively social climbing wife would just latch on to his replacement. Going Galt doesn’t pay enough to support the lifestyle she’s become accustomed to.

  78. 78.

    JCT

    It’s just so heartwarming that all of this energy is being expended to make sure that awesome folks like the Zimbrelli’s aren’t inconvenienced by having to pay their fair share like they did back in the 90’s.

    Any extra seats on those tumbrels?

  79. 79.

    Ash Can

    And in other news, LGF (sorry, if I tried doing a link on the iPad I’d be here all night) is reporting that the Sarasota County GOP is giving Donald Trump its “statesman of the year” award, to be conferred just before the beginning of the GOP convention next month.

    I don’t think Rick Scott realizes what he’s risking by not suspending the all-guns-all-the-time laws in FL for the convention. The Tampa street cleaners are going to have to bring their rakes to clean up all the dicks and other body parts that these drooling cretins shoot off of themselves.

  80. 80.

    Baud

    The Zambrelli are fighting for what’s important to them. I think they’re an example for the rest of us.

  81. 81.

    KG

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: you know, I think I have the best response to the whole “voting is a privilege” thing… besides the straight forward, “no, it’s a right!”, you just point out that even if it’s a privilege, the constitution protects “privileges and immunities” and much like guaranteeing equal protection and due process of law, it does so TWICE!

  82. 82.

    Ash Can

    Also too, ThinkProgress is reporting that Chris Cristie is apparently back on his meds after that little episode at the beach, and has declared America’s war on drugs a failure. So much for his VP prospects.

  86. 86.

    pragmatism

    OT, but sorta on topic as the eagles were brought up here. Jason Babin, of the eagles, tweeted a pic today with the made up quote, attributed to hitler: “To conquer a nation, first disarm its citizens”. way to preempt godwin’s law while being a 2nd amendment nut.

    deadspin.com/5924608/jason-babin-argues-against-gun-control-by-citing-made+up-hitler-quote

    he then decided to do some research and cite the UN Small Arms treaty as proof of “They gonna takes my gunz away oh noes!” Then he found out that the treaty wouldn’t restrict gun ownership domestically. so at least he deleted the follow up.

  87. 87.

    muddy

    @j: Oh dear, Willard in his Temple Garments! I think it’s unrealistic though, because I bet he wears sock garters.

  88. 88.

    Elisabeth

    @pragmatism:

    That’s the quote that Joe not-a-plumber used to say that gun control is responsible for the Holocaust. And people will vote for him.

  90. 90.

    slippy

    @gelfling545: LOL yeah, if you have to announce that you’re important, well, you’ve lost the whole game.

    What’s more interesting to me is why these people think they’re important. Let ’em vanish for a week — who would care?

  91. 91.

    hoppipolla

    @kd bart:

    Mitt Romney’s the type of guy who went to see Caddyshack and rooted for Judge Smails to put those slobs in their place.

    i’m stealing that.

  92. 92.

    sophronia

    Chuck E. Cheese’s popularity, in my experience, is restricted to little kids. Really, really little kids. By the time the tots are old enough to swing a t-ball bat they’ve moved on to Peter Piper Pizza, where they can have terrible pizza and waste Mom’s money on video games without being bothered by people in animal suits pretending to “sing.”

  94. 94.

    Steeplejack

    @kd bart:

    “I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.”

    Never gets old.

  96. 96.

    Southern Beale

    What’s more interesting to me is why these people think they’re important.

    Well, that’s easy. The entire culture tells them they’re important. Our consumer-oriented society which reveres materialism is completely oriented around worshipping assholes like this.

    What’s interesting to me is the overwhelming IOKIYAR. If this were a John Kerry fundraiser from 2004 and the rich people were bashing Bush, the outcry from the right about “elitism” and “Limousine liberals” and all that other stuff would be deafening.

  99. 99.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    My wife just told me that the local CBS affiliate had a clip of Mitt and Ann on that really made her laugh and not for the reason you might think. She said that Mitt and Ann were wearing khakis and Ann had the biggest damned camel toe she has ever seen on TV. My wife wondered if you could pop the top off of a beer with it. It’s clear that Ann doesn’t wear pants that often…lol! Someone want to look for the clip?

    Ann Rmoney: “Read my lips, tax cuts for the ultra rich!”

  102. 102.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Ash Can:

    Also too, ThinkProgress is reporting that Chris Cristie is apparently back on his meds after that little episode at the beach, and has declared America’s war on drugs a failure. So much for his VP prospects.

    He prolly saw himself in the video with his fat pants pulled up to around his mantits and realized he was in a shame spiral.

  104. 104.

    beltane

    @Southern Beale: You’d think that with all her money she could manage to either find clothes that fit her or hire someone to find clothes that fit her.

  109. 109.

    Mike G

    “We’ve got some of the finest health care in the world,” he said. “So the idea that this federal government, which doesn’t like Texas to begin with, to pick and choose and come up with some data and say somehow Texas has the worst health care system in the world is just fake and false on its face.”

    Swaggering willful-ignorance, how utterly Texan and Republican. We’re the bestest because I said so and Jesus agrees with me, so take your Satanist-unMurkan ‘statistics’ and shove em.

  111. 111.

    Todd

    Why, oh why did I click the link on Ann Romney’s cameltoe?

    There’s real porn on the Internet, with attractive, depraved young women that I enjoy looking at, and I click that?

  113. 113.

    PeakVT

    @Mike G: Perry today on Fox: Every Texan has health care in this state from the standpoint of being able to have access to health care. Every Texan has that. How we pay for it and how we deliver should be our decision.

    Spot the lie?

  114. 114.

    j

    @Litlebritdifrnt: And don’t forget the son Sheriden, and his “best friend at school Tom”.

    Richard knew, buy Hyacinth was too into her own world.

    Great show. I’m glad the USA TV companies didn’t steal that show and ruin it like they always do. (The Office re-do is passable, though.)

  115. 115.

    scav

    @PeakVT: By “able to have access to” logic, I can wander into Fort Knox and help myself when I run a bit short because there’s a door somewhere. do they make any difference between the quality of Health Care and the quality of an exclusive club? Meaning, it ain’t quality in their eyes if just anyone can have some.

  116. 116.

    muddy

    @Southern Beale: Speaking of needing a wardrobe treatment, Ron Christie was just on The Ed Show wearing a lavender shirt with a glowing lime green tie. It was startling.

  117. 117.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Southern Beale:

    OMG that pic made me laugh! I haven’t seen the clip as I was just reporting on what my wife told me but holy shit, doesn’t she even look in a mirror. Maybe she’s signaling to the crazies that Mitt doesn’t need a Palin-type-of-secksy veep pick.

    Not when Ann is willing to toe up to the line for him.

  123. 123.

    slag

    @Southern Beale: I LOLed here:

    Apparently he is so confused about his identity — about these strange, new feeling he is having — and so incapable of accepting that he IS, IS, fucking well IS a Conservative that (strictly for his own good, mind you!) no matter how many times he may try to kick down the door of Mr. Sullivan’s “No-Means-Yes” Conservative Closet, he will obviously need to stay nailed up in there until he straightens out, changes his mind and sees things the Andrew Sullivan’s Way!

    Maybe Mr. Krohn needs to go to reparative therapy to get his conservatism back?

  124. 124.

    Southern Beale

    @slag:

    I liked where he said “his brain is no longer capable of processing information that is contrary to his ideology.” That’s conservatives in a nutshell.

  125. 125.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @peggy:

    Family friends are taking my six-year-old niece and their 18-month-old son to Disneyworld next month. And the wife of the couple will be eight months pregnant by then.

    Better them than me.

  127. 127.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Violet: I was quite a bit older than 11, but when those animatronic rats started up on the bandstand, I freaked out and had to flee the room.

    My other memory of the visit is my father, who knew of which he spoke, commenting that the sausage on the pizza was dog-food meat.

  129. 129.

    Another Halocene Human

    Since no-one has mentioned it, I take it nobody remembers those pernicious Saturday morning ads where the rat urges kids to whine to their parents about going to Chuck E. Cheese until their frazzled parents give in. It was like a sales seminar for 8-year-olds.

  131. 131.

    Chris

    @pragmatism:

    “To conquer a nation, first disarm its citizens”

    General William Tecumseh Sherman would like to point out that all the guns in Dixie didn’t mean shit when push came to shove.

  133. 133.

    slag

    @Southern Beale: To be fair, Mr. Krohn does lay this gem on us:

    Political divisiveness in America today is a childish thing anyway. The never-ending war between the left and the right seems to me like a couple of drunken college boys fighting over which one of their fraternities is cooler. Think about it: Once you join a side, you have to obey the house rules, go to all the parties, and defend your status as a member of the greatest club on campus. And this is what drove me away from conservatism to my admittedly center-left position of independent mindedness (if that’s a thing).

    Not an attitude we liberals need at this juncture. We actually do need the unrelentingly fervent drive to grind our enemies into wig powder at this moment in time.

    The fact that Mr. Krohn does not possess such a drive probably definitely gives Sullivan a tingle up his leg. And it’s not always easy to think clearly when your leg is all tingly…or so I’m told.

  135. 135.

    Chris

    @slag:

    Think about it: Once you join a side, you have to obey the house rules, go to all the parties, and defend your status as a member of the greatest club on campus.

    Has this dude ever SEEN the Democrats? “Obey the house rule?” “Defend your club’s status?” ROFLCOPTER!!!!

  137. 137.

    jayboat

    @Todd:
    Well, you gotta admit that as far as camel toes go, it’s fairly perfect with definition- nothing left to the imagination.

    (I didn’t click, a friend told me about it. That’s it… )

  138. 138.

    El Cid

    @lamh35: I love Sharpton’s show — including his absolute inability to pronounce anything even vaguely correctly.

    Hell, I think his role in the 2004 Democratic debates deserved him a medal.

  140. 140.

    artem1s

    can we please speed up the building of the B-Ark already? Surely the mutant star goat is nearly here?

  141. 141.

    El Cid

    @pragmatism: “Or also, have drastically, waaaaaay bigger guns than they can even imagine having, and in far greater numbers.”

  144. 144.

    Anya

    @El Cid: NBC likes people with speech impediment. Just to name a few, Tom Brokow, Rev Al, Ezra Kline and many others I cannot think of right now.

  145. 145.

    El Cid

    @Anya: Yeah, but they’re all living embodiments of the OED compared to Al, who will repeat the guest’s name he’s introducing to that guest several times, getting it wrong each time, four or five times in a row. It’s awesome.

    [An appearance of Mike Pappantonio was thus as a gift from heaven.]

  149. 149.

    PurpleGirl

    @Hypatia’s Momma: Many years ago, when IBM had just built the building on Madison Avenue and 57th Street they had a museum space in the basement. The first exhibit — and it was there for months — featured items from the Exploratorium. I love it and went dozens of times.

  151. 151.

    PanurgeATL

    @ExurbanMom:

    If you ask me, we (we?) even muffed the “pulling back on the self-indulgence” thing. No one was there (in a public place, anyway) to say, “OK, you can stop pulling back on the self-indulgence now.” Kurt Andersen’s worried about the wrong things–and since he seems to be part of the Cultural Driver class, the rest of us are screwed.

  153. 153.

    Tripod

    Chuck E. Cheese’s Corporate person-hood is in fact Showbiz Pizza. Showbiz bought up the bankrupt remains of the original and re-branded.

  154. 154.

    YellowJournalism

    “warm cardboard and ketchup-flavored pizza ”

    If it tasted like that, I would say it was an improvement over the magazine subscription return cards and red wax crayon taste I usually get when we indulge the boys’ addiction to skew ball and dollar store army men. And whoever orders sausage for the company must accidentally spell it “sawdust” or something similar on the order form.

  155. 155.

    Herbal Infusion Bagger

    “warm cardboard and ketchup-flavored pizza ”

    A friend’s kid, when he was four, went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

    He took one bite of the pizza and refused to eat any more of it. Same with their cake.

    Said kid has refused to go into any more Chuck E. Cheeses since then.

    Evidently some kids know when food is crappy no matter how much salt, fat, and sugar they load into it.

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