Randi Shannon, an Iowa resident and Ron Paul supporter, was a candidate in the Iowa state Senate race before she up and decided that the United States government is a sham, and declared herself to be a U.S. Senator for the Republic of Iowa:
In a statement riddled with curious capitalization meant to emphasize the government’s foibles, Shannon derides the federal government for, she claims, stomping out entrepreneurship, infringing on personal liberties, and just generally being an unconstitutional entity. Perhaps worst, she says, are the elected lawmakers who have perpetuated this system and in doing so have, “committed the most egregious acts against ‘We the People.’”
“Therefore, in order to affect the most good on behalf of The People of Iowa’s 34th District and in keeping with my conscience, I have accepted the position of U.S. Senator in The Republic of The United States of America, where I may better serve You and All of The People of Iowa,” Shannon wrote. “I want you to know I have taken an Oath to Uphold, Support and Defend The Constitution of The United States of America. This I will do to the best of my ability, So Help Me God.”
General Stuck
And I just declared myself King of Siam
Want my harem!!
Mark S.
There goes the right to vote for blacks and women. Unless the Republic of the United States Supreme Court ruled otherwise. Where do you go to find their decisions? Anyone have access to WestLaw?
Basilisc
Yeah, apparently she’s joined a cult which believes the US government stopped being legitimate around 1870. The arguments are convoluted, but it’s really just a coincidence that that was more or less the start of this whole letting-dark-skinned-people-be-citizens thing.
Spatula
The U.S. government IS a sham.
Is this news?
Davis X. Machina
Should have embraced sedevacantist Catholicism at the same time and gotten it all out of the way at once.
robertdsc-PowerBook
Cute is not a word I’d use. Unbridled disgust fits better.
Fucking clowns.
ruemara
Considering she just invalidated her own right to vote, why doesn’t this bitch stop pretending to be man and get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich?
Craigo
She can’t even get her own crazy ass fake history right.
This particular brand of nut thinks that the DC Organic Act of 1871, which incorporated the entire district as one municipality, somehow replaced the Constitution. (How? Oh, the Jews, I guess.)
The 14th Amendment, of course, was ratified in 1868.
c u n d gulag
To paraphrase Scrooge: ‘Are the no straight-jackets? Are there no madhouses?”
More from the article:
“It is our mission to establish the American image of truth, honesty, integrity and honor around the world. Our plan is to rebuild our economy and support other economies around the world, fulfilling humanitarian needs. We will allow our military to withdraw from unnecessary conflicts around the world and promote world peace and prosperity. We intend to follow God the Creator’s command to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and care for the sick, irrespective of creed, religion or race. There is no law against these things.”
Truth be told, I kind of like their goals.
At least those goals weren’t given to them by a talking dog telling them to shoot people in Lovers Lane’s.
When I saw Iowa in the post, I immediately thought you were talking about on of the most moronic assholes in Congresses history, nay, in American history – Steve “Salmonella” King, and his latest escapades in barking at the moon, and trying to ensure that ALL American citizens have equal access to salmonella, as is their right:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/14/1109675/-Iowa-s-Steve-King-finally-plucks-the-chicken
There’s also a King ‘abusing the chicken’ joke, or two, or three, or four, here – but it IS Sunday, and I’m a respectful kind of feller.
amk
?
Oh, boy. And here I thought paulards were educated fucktards.
General Stuck
OT
Powerline boys ride the shark
How many RW nuts out there are jacking their assault rifles at this kind of rhetoric, from lawyers, no less.
SiubhanDuinne
@General Stuck:
And I am Marie of Romania.
dmsilev
Has anyone asked her yet about fluoridation and the International Communist Conspiracy to Sap and Impurify Our Precious Bodily Fluids?
JGabriel
Isn’t that the same Constitution that requires, you know, elections?
I don’t think you can become a U.S. Senator without winning one them election thingamabobs.
.
Mark S.
@Craigo:
We’re through the looking glass here, people.
Craigo
There’s something strangely fetishistic about the random capitalization. If you write like the Founders did, you gain their strength, or something. It’s Libertarian Voodoo.
NonyNony
Look as long as she continues to pay her taxes and follow the laws of the US she can play whatever Live Action Role Playing Game she wants to play. Some people choose to play Vampire: The Masquerade, some choose to play in Civil War re-enactments and some choose to play Ron Paul Revolution.
It would probably be a lot healthier for her if she could find a local SCA organization that could set her up as the Duchess of West Iowa, or a local Vampire group that could make her the Prince of Des Moines or something.
maya
@General Stuck: Yeah. Much use of the term “Chicago style” on Sunday Republican Beat talk-shows and by Rove.
Visages of a dark shaded Al Capone and the Valentine Day massacre garage (with elevator)to follow.
JPL
In her pretend world does she not understand that only males can be considered for office?
NonyNony
@JGabriel:
Well, no:
Direct election of Senators is the 17th amendment. So she doesn’t really need to have an election.
On the other hand, the Constitution originally required state legislatures to choose their method of selecting a Senator. And I doubt that the state of Iowa has a pre-17th amendment law on the books that states “crazy person who loses an election for Senator can declare themselves Senator by fiat” so yeah, her love for the even the pre-14th amendment Constitution is a bit off.
eldorado
i tried to follow the incorporation argument but had to give up
dmsilev
@maya: I’m pretty sure Chicago-style politics involves two layers of crust and enough mozzarella cheese to induce a passel of heart attacks.
drouse
This is hitting the real fringe. While she didn’t come out and say it, this is Sovereign Citizen territory. The strange capitalization is a big clue. So is the corporation thing. You know that is really what is at the core of libertarian thought. They are all closet anarchists. Here is something one of my favorite authors said
Mark S.
@NonyNony:
Rookie mistake. You need to look at the laws of the Republic of Iowa, not the laws of the illegitimate STATE OF IOWA CORPORATION.
JPL
In my pretend world, I’m sending Randi Shannon to Guantanamo.
Mark S.
@maya:
Anytime a wingnut says “Chicago-style politics,” it means they’re shitting in their pants. All it does is make me imagine Obama in a 1920’s gangster suit holding a tommy gun, and he looks pretty badass.
barath
Winning:
https://twitter.com/sfpelosi/status/224539044829339649/photo/1
Gin & Tonic
Oh, where’s Lyndon LaRouche when we need him?
BigD
Everybody loves Iowans!
MikeJake
On the bright side, she gets to enjoy the Republic of Iowa’s low, low income tax rates.
WereBear
This kind of echoes the Saturday Evening Open Thread about The Rise of Geekdom. Since the thread was past active when I got up this morning, I did not comment there.
But one of the things that has been a dramatic development of the past century, and a pillar of this one, is the extraordinary development of human imagination. What used to be a campfire re-enactment has become a multi-sensory full immersion experience for people who have the leisure and the outlets thereof.
I think this creative flower is fantastic. But is has a dark side; the encouragement has led some to lose complete track of what is actual reality. While philosophers of time past wrestled with how to discover it and how to tell you’ve found it, these fools have blown past all barriers.
They’ve decided reality is simply what happens when enough fools get together. Which is fine; until they act upon it.
Valdivia
@barath:
the #retroactively tweets are fantastic.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mark S.:
I wish
a motherfuckersomeone with mad Photoshopping skillz would….NonyNony
@Mark S.:
See I have to assume that they’re making some kind of racist jibe at Obama with the “Chicago Style Politics” stuff. Because as a general meme it really make no sense. Only the political junkies (and people living in Illinois) connect “Chicago Style” to the machine politics of the Daley machine. “Chicago Style” for most people is a kind of pizza, and then possibly gangsters. And that’s only if they remember that Capone and his colleagues were based in Chicago instead of, as I’ve found way too often occurs, New York. (Probably because everyone expects New York to be the center of everything).
Mark S.
@SiubhanDuinne:
Unfortunately, I have none, but I would love it if someone did that!
Hill Dweller
The twitter machine is telling me Ed Gillespie claimed Willard was ‘retroactively’ retired during ’99-’02.
As you can imagine, the ‘retroactive’ jokes are writing themselves.
ETA: I see Barath beat me to it.
rickstershierpa
We should tell her that if we really want to be strict constructionists, and since Iowa was part of the Louisiana Purchase, she is really part of France since the Louisiana Purchase was an extra-constitutional act and was recognize as such by President Jefferson at the time. http://wps.ablongman.com/wps/media/objects/29/29886/primarysources6_8_1.html
So we should just tell Randi that she is citizen of France and as an illegal alien, deport her.
Of course she would get free health care then.
Shalimar
Says someone who isn’t even allowed to vote in her own fantasy world.
RD
@NonyNony:
Randi Shannon would most likely play as a Malkavian.
Ash Can
Now, now, ABL. We shouldn’t make fun of the mentally ill.
Mark S.
And then he said,
dricey
@JGabriel: She rejects the 17th Amendment, which requires popular election of US Senators. Presumably, she was appointed by some Paulista Iowa legislature and governor, though as an Iowa resident who has a morbid fascination with whackjob politics, I can’t say that I’m aware of any such body or governor. Our current state House is plenty flat-earth as it is, and our governor, serving his fifth term, yields to no one in his affection for foolishness.
NonyNony
@Hill Dweller:
https://twitter.com/search/%23retroactively
Some of my favorites:
ETA: Romney supporters are starting to use it to make fun of Obama, which makes it even more hilarious.
Jewish Steel
@Craigo: It’s an old timey holdover from an earlier form of English. The capitalization of nouns. Davis X, I’d bet, knows the rules governing this Practice.
JPL
@SiubhanDuinne: Will it include a codpiece?
russ
These people, the teabaggers and the whateverites want a world and government that comports to their veiws and opinions, NOW.
They are not willing to compromise or work to get what they want.
They will beg, borrow and steal to get what they want and are deluded by the loftiness of their goals as good reason to do what they do.
Valdivia
@NonyNony:
I see that Breibart people are trying to use it but just sounds so stupid. Also a bunch of libertarians (I gather from their names). So pathetic since it only works for Romney. So funny.
Frankensteinbeck
@NonyNony:
He is unlikely to continue to pay his taxes. These folks are called Sovereign Citizens, and they are almost universally obsessed with using the ‘real’ laws to claim they don’t have to pay taxes. ‘If I understand the secret laws a conspiracy is hiding from us I don’t have to pay taxes or accept any court ruling against me’ is the driving concept of the Sovereign Citizen movement.
Yes, they are fucking nuts.
EDIT – And they love Ron Paul, almost to a man!
EDIT EDIT – And you can find their insane manifestos slipped into a lot of Republican state planks. Innocent sounding stuff like ‘Repealing the Admiral Act’, which the loonies think the military used to replace the actual court system.
Alison
@Craigo: I’d like to think of it as an homage to Emily Dickinson, but then I’d also like to think the idea of Paulbot admiration would make Miss Dickinson spin in her grave.
Roger Moore
@General Stuck:
Big whoop. I’m the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s right noodly appendage, so I’m way more important than anyone else on the thread.
Comrade Dread
I really wish these wackos would get started on their floating cities so they can go live out their delusions elsewhere.
My over/under on how long it would be before their inevitable societal meltdown and mass bloodletting stands at 3 months.
Claessens1
At least she didn’t say “impact”; a word that should be used only by dentistry.
Roger Moore
@JGabriel:
Not for Senate. Under the original Constitution, Senators were appointed by their state legislatures, not elected directly. Since her buddies in the movement represent the legitimate government of Iowa, they have the power to appoint her as Senator. See how that works?
Vorjack
While she’s less ambitious than Emperor Joshua Norton, she’s somehow less charming.
danah gaz (fka gaz)
@Roger Moore: Well, there’s a small complication with that. Taking her positions to their (il)logical conclusion, she has teh ladyparts and is therefore, unfit for public office of any kind, elected or otherwise appointed.
moonbat
@Mark S.: Awesomeness. May I steal for fb?
NonyNony
@Valdivia:
What I think is really funny about it can be summed up as “Trending .. how does that work?”
@Frankensteinbeck:
Yeah that’s where the line gets drawn. You can have your pretend government that issues its pretend edicts. But when you start breaking the law by refusing to pay taxes or minting your own coins or plotting an actual assault on a Federal building, that’s where you’ve crossed a line and you’re going to get smacked down hard.
Roger Moore
@Jewish Steel:
As I understand it, it’s just like the way they do things in German today: all nouns are capitalized, not just proper nouns.
Citizen_X
Wherever the Emperor Norton is, he’s gotta be kicking himself for being born 140 years too soon.
Amir Khalid
It’s so sad. This poor deluded woman looks quite sane to the naked eye. This may be how her condition has escaped the notice of her friends and family, to the extent that she was not advised against running for political office.
Roger Moore
@Comrade Dread:
I’ll take the under on that. Actually, I’ll take the “their floating libertarian paradise would burn long before then because they don’t believe in stuff like fire codes” option.
danah gaz (fka gaz)
@Citizen_X: Win.
gelfling545
@SiubhanDuinne: I thought I’d be pope. According to the link in comment 5 there’s an opening.
danah gaz (fka gaz)
@Roger Moore:
You know who else capitalized all nouns…
Sorry. I could not resist.
Roger Moore
@danah gaz (fka gaz):
Not at all. There was nothing in the Constitution that actively barred women from voting or holding office; that was left up to the states. Women in New Jersey actually had the vote for a decade or two after the Revolution until their vote was explicitly taken away. All she needs is for her friends in the Republic of Iowa to decide that women can hold office and she’s good to go.
gbear
@Mark S.: Thanks for posting that jpg. It brought the biggest smile to my face of all the stuff I’ve read today.
Chris
@Frankensteinbeck:
That’s funny, because one of the very first uses of military force in this country involved George Washington, acting on behalf of the Eebil Federal Government, taking on a Whiskey Rebellion whose members actually thought “no taxation without representation” meant “no taxation.”
No doubt people screamed bloody murder much as they did after Ruby Ridge and Waco back then, and whatever the late 1700s equivalent of “socialist” was, Washington was probably called that many times.
NonyNony
@Roger Moore:
I’ll take the under as well, but it’s more the “they’ll give their money to a con artist who will make a few million bucks off the whole thing and then disappear” option.
To be honest, though, I’m surprised none of them have thought to create a Kickstarter to generate seed money for a floating Liberty Island.
Mark S.
@moonbat:
Be my guest. I just stumbled across it while looking for something else.
danah gaz (fka gaz)
@Roger Moore: Way to spoil a good snark with all your logic and facts and knowledge of history. You’re no fun. No fun at all. =) hehehe.
Anya
@maya: Every time a wingnut says “Chicago-style politics,” an engel gets its wings.
xian
@General Stuck: rhymes with Kill Whitey
Roger Moore
@NonyNony:
I might kick in a few bucks just to get rid of them.
Craigo
@danah gaz (fka gaz): Actually, there were no laws preventing women from holding public office, before they could vote for those offices. This was a contradiction highlighted by the suffrage movement.
Raven
Maui breakfast!
NonyNony
@Roger Moore: If I thought it would actually lead to a floating Liberty Paradise that they could move to I’d be there with you.
Citizen_X
@Anya:
Also happens every time they put one over on the marx.
xian
@maya: itmust poll well for them. to me it says “tough Democratic streetfighter.”
Anoniminous
@NonyNony:
For a true glibertarian Randian paradise they first have to invent a Perpetual Motion Machine to provide electricity and Rearden Steel to build it.
These things take time.
Yutsano
@NonyNony:
Interwebs is watched by Ebil Gubmint and can’t be trusted.
Roger Moore
@NonyNony:
I’m more hoping that it would create a Poseidon Adventure that would take them all to a watery grave; it would definitely be worth kicking in some money for then.
Roger Moore
@Anoniminous:
I don’t know. That perpetual motion machine sounds an awful lot like an evil Liberal plan to make us use renewable energy instead of burning fossil fuel the way God intended.
NonyNony
@Roger Moore:
Naw, you’re thinking of more rank-and-file conservatives there.
The particular breed of libertarian who wants to build a floating libertarian paradise is a huge technophile. Literally. The kind of technophile that gleefully follows every story about sexbots and virtual porn.
They’d be just as happy uploading their brains into a virtual world where they can play God as they would having a floating Libertarian Paradise where they can play King.
What I said upthread about role playing games? Yeah – the kind of guys fantasizing about writing their goodbye America screeds and moving to a man-made floating libertarian paradise are involved in another one. They should subscribe to World of Warcraft instead – it’s more realistic.
ruemara
@Comrade Dread: They already did a project of a Pure Randian Society. Didn’t end very well.
Jay in Oregon
@Frankensteinbeck:
Fixed.
And the federal court in Alaska just found two of these assholes guilty of violating a whole passel of firearms laws, plus conspiracy to kill Alaska State Troopers and judges under a “241” scheme; for every member of the militia they arrested or convicted, they planned to shoot two state troopers or judges.
http://www.themudflats.org/2012/05/07/the-strange-tale-of-schaeffer-cox/
Frankensteinbeck
@Jay in Oregon:
Okay, but like Teabaggers, nobody has a problem with calling them what they call themselves. We just add on little extras like ‘convicted felon’ and ‘paranoid schizophrenic’.
SiubhanDuinne
@Anoniminous:
Fixt.
BruinKid
@NonyNony: The Des Moines Register explained how she got around that.
Now, as to how they got elected to the “Republic” government, that’s where you’ll want to focus your “gotcha” questions to her. :-)
Roger Moore
@BruinKid:
Also, too, wasn’t it the state government that appointed Senators before the 17th Amendment, not the Congressional delegation? The whole point of the Senate was to represent the States, while the House represented the people directly.
Jay in Oregon
@Frankensteinbeck:
Fair enough.
I just I’d point out that the loonies are the ones who came up with the term “Sovereign Citizen”; it fits in well with the “Admiralty courts” and “United States of America Corporation” in describing the alternate reality they think they live in.
Jay in Oregon
@BruinKid:
There’s a thing within the Soveriegn Citizen movement were they have this whole alternate legal system.
In the Schaeffer Cox trial (the SC/militia trial in Alaska I mentioned before), there was testimony about how, when one of the members was wanted on charges of domestic violence, a group of them convened a “sovereign citizens’ court”; they read the charges, heard testimony from the accused, deliberated, and rendered a verdict of “not guilty.”
In their fevered imaginations, having been found innocent by a “jury of his peers” meant he couldn’t be tried on the charges by the state because to do so would be double jeopardy.
It would not surprise me if the sovereign citizens are putting together their own alternate quasi-governmental structure, with “the people’s representatives.”
lol chikinburd
Another thing that happened in 1871 was the “Ku Klux Klan Act”, formally titled “An Act to enforce the Provisions of the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States and for other Purposes”. It explicitly authorized the President to go after domestic terrorists in the Reconstruction South, and go after them Grant did, shutting the KKK up until 1915.
I can’t imagine these “Republic” people being too thrilled about that one, either. I wonder if the DC business is just cover.
Jebediah
I now declare myself the Sun King. My first royal edict is that whenever I approach, everyone must sing a few bars of “Here Comes the Sun.”