Because we are a full service blog, and more, because we are a generous and giving community, it seems only fitting to offer our cyborg brother W. M. Romney some useful counsel on his travels abroad.
Because we are snark-filled sacks of vitriolic sloth, we outsource this task to Oliver Burkman over at the Grauniad‘s shop:
First things first: the statistical probability is that any given member of the public you meet while in Britain will be British. This should make things considerably easier when it comes to your penchant for guessing randomly, and frequently wrongly, the nationalities of people you encounter. (“His favourite guess for nationality is French-Canadian.”) At the Olympic Games opening ceremony, by contrast, you’re likely to encounter many more non-British people. Small-talk topics to avoid with them include: a) whether or not they share an Anglo-Saxon heritage; and b) claiming to be familiar with the culture of their small island nation because you have several hundred million dollars in a bank account there.
There’s more at the link. Enjoy.
Oh — and I suppose this qualifies for what all you perhaps insufficiently Anglo-Saxon types would call an open thread.
Toodle-oo.
Update:
Bonus video to aid the venerable Mitt in his attempt to penetrate the secrets of Anglitude [with appropriately non-Anglo-Saxon subtitles, for all those of you who know who you aren’t]:
<div align=”center”><iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/ewUJpI_tY0w” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
Image: Zhang Lu, A Traveler Contemplates a Waterfall, between 1500 and 1525.
Violet
Not where commenting is concerned. B-J is either a no-service or way-too-much-service blog.
Maude
Ignorant question. Is it a pen and ink drawing? It is fascinating.
Have you read Cyborg? It’s a bit strange.
Villago Delenda Est
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”
kindness
And the Romney Clown Car trainwreck continues.
It’s be fun except the polls are too close for fun.
beltane
There are many non-Anglo Saxon athletes who are expected to win medals for the USA at these games. Does Romney believe that only Anglo-Saxons should be allowed to represent the US? If he does believe this it means he is no better than the host of the 1936 games. If he does not believe this he is a big fat hypocrite who ought to apply duck tape to his mouth.
Tom Levenson
@beltane: Duck tape on one’s mouth would drive me quackers.
Tom Levenson
@Maude: Haven’t read Cyborg.
Wikimedia commons reports that Zhang’s work is ink on silk, which dovetails with what I know (not zero) about this kind of work.
Hill Dweller
If you’re going to hold events to whine about a distorted Obama quote, use small businesses that haven’t received copious amounts of government money.
That said, I think Charlie Pierce is right when he says the Romney campaign know people will check the businesses’ backgrounds but don’t care, because the lie must be working with the mouth breathers.
Villago Delenda Est
OK, now this is stupid. Everyone knows that if your name ends in a vowel, you can’t be Northern European. CERTAINLY not Anglo-Saxon!
You’re one of those swarthy types.
Like Joe Arpaio.
Villago Delenda Est
@Hill Dweller:
Rmoney is doomed precisely because he has to keep reassuring the base that he’s not going to sell them out.
Which is an insurmountable task.
R-Jud
Whenever anyone writes “Grauniad” for “Guardian” I see Ian Hislop smirking behind his desk on “Have I Got News For You”.
Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just the first thing that comes to mind. (And the Graun is still littered with errors and typos, particularly the stuff on CiF).
Maude
@Tom Levenson:
Ah, thanks. I couldn’t tell the texture of the background. I bet it’s something see it in person.
Cyborg is what Million Dollar Man was based on.
I just happen to have the paperback.
Did you see my comments that you were mentioned on Bloomberg radio a bit ago. It was in relation to Newton.
redshirt
RomBot 3.0 should be programmed with only 20 or so phrases that are shaped to be the least offensive as possible in any given situation. Don’t make it overly complicated! Who cares if he repeats the same things over and over – at least it won’t make headlines.
Tom Levenson
@Maude: didn’t see those comments. Thanks for letting me know (again!).
Newton is the gift that keeps on giving….
maya
Uh, I believe the Rmoney camp is disavowing said “Anglo-Saxon heritage” talk. Next they’ll claim that it was an Obama plant in the Rmoney English garden.
I do hope the Peoples Republic of China gives him a rousing salute when their delegation passes by his London sky box.( Hint:It’s the one with the golden dome.)
Maude
@Tom Levenson:
I was so excited when I heard it. It was Tom Keene and it was on Surveillance.
He was talking about crisis.
The show is heard all over Europe and is popular there.
Congrats.
Uncle Cosmo
There’s nothing that cues up insane laughter like a British comedy routine subtitled in an incomprehensible Central European language. I fondly recall a train ride from Sarajevo to the Adriatic coast in 1985–there was a video monitor at either end of the open-seating car running a Benny Hill skit. The guy opposite me was roaring at the action while I was laughing my head off at the sight of Serbo-Croatian sliding underneath the picture…
Zach
While not as racist, I found, “[Obama] wouldn’t like singing ‘Land of Hope and Glory,'” to be a lot weirder than the Anglo-Saxon thing (it’s a song praising the glory of the British empire and calling for its expansion). Then again, I thought the Kenyan anti-Colonialist thing was weird, too. The lies are about Obama are one thing — they make sense. Conflating a love of the British empire with being American is just non-sensical.
beltane
@Tom Levenson: This is what happens when the edit function is taken away from us.
@Villago Delenda Est: It is an obsession with “pedigree” and it is a Mormon thing. I was made aware of this phenomenon after I started frequenting genetics forums about a year ago. While the LDS members are always polite, non-confrontational, and not overtly racist, there is an insidious quality to their obsession with bloodlines that is in some ways worse than the Stormfront types who you can simply scream at before reporting them to admins.
trollhattan
@Villago Delenda Est:
A friend and former cow-orker belongs/ed to a cult who were rather persistent in having its members change their names to “proper” Britishy sounding ones. And for whatever reason she did, from a perfectly fine German name to “Berry.”
Not the usual two cults either, this one:
http://animamrecro.wordpress.com/2006/04/16/fellowship-of-friends-a-cult-for-intellectuals/
MikeJ
@redshirt:
That’s an ecumenical matter.
Tom Levenson
@MikeJ:
Bloody brilliant. Never encountered Father Jack before. My thanks.
Villago Delenda Est
@trollhattan:
Of course, then you open the door to the inevitable debate over whether the new name sounds “woody” or “tinny”.
Villago Delenda Est
@Zach:
After all, wasn’t this country created by a bunch of people rebelling against the British Empire? Or did I miss something that happened in the late 18th century?
Villago Delenda Est
@beltane:
Well, this helps explain the Rmoney obsessive hobby with dancing horses. I mean, if there was ever a hobby obsessed with blood lines, it’s the horse breeding/racing/dressage bunch.
MikeJ
@Tom Levenson: You owe it to yourself to get the complete run of Father Ted. Three series, a total of 25 eps.
Tom Levenson
@MikeJ: Joy.
trollhattan
@MikeJ:
Seconded. One wonders how they filmed all those episodes without receiving a bolt of lightning in their midst?
Yet another Brit series that could never have been filmed here. Can’t imagine the American Taliban’s response.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@MikeJ: What would you say to a nice cup of tea?
ETA: Father Ted is available for streaming on Netflix.
Another Halocene Human
What the actual fuck.
Another Halocene Human
@Villago Delenda Est: “Begins in ‘o’, Irish, ends in ‘o’, Italian.”
–Anthony Lupo’s father’s guide to navigating nationalities in working class NYC. (The Lupos were Jewish.)
Roy G.
I’ll bet Rmoney is speedbagging the bishop right now to those old Leni Riefenstahl newsreels.
Ben Cisco
C’mon, Cole, you HAVE to add this one.
slightly_peeved
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
Coming a bit late, but:
FECK OFF, CUP!
And it wasn’t a British series, it was an Irish series. Which makes the cojones involved in making it even greater.