Douthat’s thumbsucker on RMoney’s in today’s Times contains (at least) two notable errors. Neither this incredibly indolent excuse for a column nor its writer deserve too much effort expended on dissecting same, so what follows is the Reader’s Digest version of a diss.
Here’s the lesser howler:
…as a journalist who’s desperate for something unexpected to happen in this grim slog of a campaign, I’d be delighted if Romney made my analysis look foolish and showed that he has the capacity to genuinely surprise us.
Two things. For one here Douthat, young Ross, shows how desperately he wants to be seen to be a Very Serious Person. As the country considers a critical decision about how it wishes to be led, Douthat is bored. he wants to be entertained.
He’s desperate [that I well believe–ed.] for something nice and shiny to distract him from the tedium of actually paying attention to what each candidate might do for (or in Romney’s case, to) the country. That is to say — to alleviate the grim necessity of, you know, doing his job.
And that brings me to the larger folly here. Consider the phrase “as a journalist” and then think about the column as a whole. There is literally nothing there, except for an obvious rehash of the same conventional wisdom about Romney’s vice presidential choices. It’s hardly an original thought that the Palin past constrains Romney’s future. It’s not exactly earth shattering to suggest that amongst the boring mainstream male figures available to him, Portman, Pawlenty and Jindal — in some order — top his meagre list. And note above all: there isn’t a single quote, reference, or cite in the whole damn thing.
That is to say: this is Douthat, speaking banalitiesex cathedra. There’s not a scrap of what I recognize as actual journalism in the piece. It’s functionally written, I suppose, but for all the adequate sentence-by-sentence delivery, this is just an undergraduate’s summary of a current bit of politics. Journalists actually find out stuff; no discovery — worse, no curiousity dares appear here.
Journalist, forsooth!
May the shade of Hildy Johnson strike Douthat dumb!
As for the greater issue. I may write on this at greater length (that would be Tom tl;dr Levenson to you, sir or madam), but as I soldiered on through Douthat’s dreary prose, I was struck by the elephant in the room. Douthat writes:
The fear of repeating a Palin-style choice, a gamble that worked out badly for both members of 2008’s Republican ticket, has dramatically shortened the plausible list of Mitt Romney’s running mates.
But Douthat’s got this wrong. The reason the Palin’s spectre looms over Romney’s veepery is not because he fears a focus on whether his number two is ready for the presidency. Rather, it’s that he’s already raised the question of whether its number one can stand up to the job.
That is to say: the ticket can’t risk a Palin because the GOP is already freighted with her issues in the person of W. Mitt Romney himself.
Think about it: Like Palin, part of his appeal to GOPsters is that he looks the part (supposedly).
Physical appeal over qualifications? Check and check. Go deeper, as we’ve done plenty here, and it becomes harder and harder for me to distinguish between Mitt and Palin on their actual records.
For example: he’s almost as much a half term governor as La Palin herself — ask anyone in sight of the Bullfinch Dome how present our alleged governor was after the midterm elections in which his slate of Republican hacks got eated.
His Olympics record, examined with some care, suggests that his main virtue was being able to beg from the government (remember that “Bridge to Nowhere” that Palin supported until the Feds pulled the funding?), with, as Dennis G. wrote in this space a week ago, a similar tinge of corruption as that which attended Palin’s government contracting experience.
As the last week shows, he’s about as clueless about foreign policy as Palin was; he may speak more smoothly, but tell me, how does the “Palestinian culture” fiasco compare with the seeing Russia from Alaska folly? Not that well, actually.
And so it goes. Romney is a Himbo with a thin and uncertain record, one that impresses less each time it gets examined more closely. Doesn’t sound all that different to me than what we saw unravel from late August to October or so in 2008.
All of which is to say: Douthat’s gaze, focused on the number two slot on the ticket, misses (or avoids) the real Palin problem attending Mitt Romney right now.
Images: Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, The Clownesse Cha-U-Kao at the Moulin Rouge, 1895.
Pompeo Girolamo Batoni, Time orders Old Age to destroy Beauty, 1746
Jewish Steel
Didn’t Brooks loudly sigh his boredom yesterday? I take this as a good sign. Ho-hum I’m so over this rotten candidate and his gaffes. Boooring!
LanceThruster
I always enjoy these thorough smack-downs whereby the object of derision is surgically dissected and found to be so pitifully wanting.
It’s too bad what’s at stake is so serious or I’d enjoy it a hell of a lot more.
Much thanks for this, Mr. Levenson.
James Gary
speaking banalitiesex cathedra
I parsed that as “banal lite sex cathedral.” Four words which, taken in the right context, might succinctly describe Ross Douthat.
Roger Moore
He’s not bored and demanding to be entertained. He’s lazy and demanding for easy column material to be dropped into his lap.
Schlemizel
Since Bobo admitted he was all bored just the other day does this mean that little dough hat is trying to mold himself into a moldy lump of brooksberguher cheese?
jl
No time to read it. But thanks for pics.
I will say I do have complete confidence that Romney, in his sleep, could make any analysis by Douthat look foolish.
Whether Romney would ever do such a thing outside the quiet back rooms, is another question. I doubt he would.
Edit: Actually no matter what Romney does, Douthat’s analysis will be foolish. No need for a conditional prediction.
Both Sides Do It
@James Gary:
“I’ll take Ape Tit for 400 Alex”
Jeffro
Ohio’s sliding out of reach…Romney is going to go with McDonnell (VA), betcha a nickel
Roger Moore
In fairness, Romney does have a fairly substantial record in private business. It’s just that he’s apparently so ashamed of it that he’s doing his very best to avoid talking about it.
MattF
My dad used to say that boredom is repressed hostility… So, maybe Douthat and Brooks, the NYT’s in-house fellow travelers, are feeling rather peeved with Mr. Romney. Why can’t he be more… more something they can’t say out loud.
Ben Franklin
It’s funny that Mitt is his own Biden, minus passion. Who could provide stability as Veep?
Schlemizel
BTW – I noticed the other day that TNC counted little dough hat as a friend. I assume that sucked a good 30 IQ points out of the otherwise most excellent Mr. Coates. It disappointed me in so many ways.
What was more surprising was TNC was pointing out that dough hat was wrong in seeing TDKR as an ode to “true conservatism”. It seems if TNC really did know dough hat he would know that the ass clown sees everything as either an ode to “TC” or emblematic of the Liberal ruination of our once great nation. I swear, I bet he even sees politics in the F’ing word jumble.
jl
The below does not surprise me, or most other commenters here.
But try to analyze this, Douthat, without using the ‘L’ word or mentioning the obvious point that Romney = Buss II Number Two on fiscal policy (which was a total failure).
Romney Aide: ‘Biased’ Tax Study Ignores The Coming Romney Boom
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/08/romney-aide-biased-tax-study-ignores-the-coming-romney-boom.php
Schlemizel
@MattF:
more . . . WHITE?
No, thats not possible.
aimai
I think this new dodge deserves to be added to the cliche:
“First they laugh at you, then they fight you, then they pretend they are bored by the whole thing…then they lose.” Pretending that the titanic quadrennial struggle to control the vast aparatus of the US government is bo-ring has to be the last refuge of the apparatchiks whose job it is to gild the shit sandwich of Republican politicians. IF they can’t violently voter suppress your ass they will try to depress your voting population.
aimai
maya
If only Rmoney would swill a scotch on the rocks. That would be exciting for B&D, AND, no limits as to what sensible stuff might exude from his mouth. Win Win.
trollhattan
@James Gary:
Except for the “sex” bit. Too much Chunky Reese, and all.
elftx
He would never never never be able to get a coherent word (not that he can elicit any) in edgewise against Hildy !!!
Mark B.
He’s not a journalist, he’s a creepy little scold who is so upset he wasn’t among the cool kids in college, he’s trying to destroy cool itself. He’s also a crappy writer.
jl
@elftx: Hildy Johnson? Douthat would be too busy wildly probing his crotch to check whether everything was still there, the poor retro and repressed insecure lad.
ChrisNYC
I am just so pleased that these people keep telling themselves that Palin is/was the problem. Or that Romney just needs to do something to add a little spark to the campaign. Or that what he really needs is to come out with a really outrageous attack ad. That’ll shake things up and get us a real race! That’s what they think. But where the hell were they for the past two years?
When a party runs a primary like they did — back to back nuts and grifters — in a winnable year we’re looking at a party with real problems. And to top it off, Romney is and was the most electable of them! The bad politician and all around bad guy is their best candidate! But yea Ross, think hard on that VP pick, come up with a game changer (vomit) and all will be well.
Villago Delenda Est
@jl:
Well, damn. My entire household budget is based on winning the Megabucks next week.
Sure, that will go over well with by bank when my account is overdrawn. They’ll certainly understand that explanation, won’t they?
DonBoy
Another thing Romney has in common with W: after their time in office, their electorates decided “You know what? Maybe we’ve had enough white guys for a while.”
JoyfulA
It worked out beautifully for Palin: She’s now rich and famous, as is the rest of her family. Where would she be otherwise? Fishing with Todd and Levi?
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
@James Gary:
That threw me for a few ticks, too. I saw “banality sex cathedral”.
elftx
@jl:
She could find him a desk to hide in…that is assuming he understands what a desk is..and is used for..lol
El Cid
New twitter hashtag:
#banalitiesex cathedra
max
I don’t know what kind of sex that is, but I’d bet that somewhere there’s a porn shop producing videos of it that would scare me.
max
[‘Baby, would you do that thing you did to my cathedra again?’]
Bruce S
Isn’t the term “Elephant in the room” with Douthat a redundancy?
peorgietirebiter
@Schlemizel: My eyebrow was raised at that particular part of TNC’s post but for a bit of a differemt reason. I remember TNC referring to dr ross not as a freind but as a past colleague. It made me wonder what that dynamic must have been like, TNC being, to my mind at least, authentic, a real risk taker and original and Douthat being such a predictable tool.
I may ne misrememnerimg that part but his dismemberment of Ross’ anal ysis was very memorable. TNC is notnyour average KAOS killer, he thinks.
Bruce S
Big difference. You actually CAN see a bit of Russia from a bit of Alaska.
sophronia
The number one rule needed to improve this country’s journalism is outlawing thumbsucker columns like this. Oh, Ross Douthat is bored? Well, who gives a crap?
These people are basically paid to condescend to us.
low-tech cyclist
OK, it’s a boring part of the campaign. Despite the fact that the choices involved are extremely consequential, I can understand that the humdrum of the day-to-day would afflict those whose day job is to cover the campaign.
So maybe they could fill the news hole by writing stories and columns giving point-by-point comparisons between the candidates’ proposed policies on specific issues, and actually, you know, inform the electorate, so that the electorate would be better prepared to make the choice that lies at the end of the campaign?
I know I’m old-fashioned, but isn’t that what the press is supposed to do in a campaign?