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You are here: Home / Civil Rights / LGBTQ Rights / Gay Rights are Human Rights / Hate Chicken

Hate Chicken

by @heymistermix.com|  August 2, 201211:56 am| 111 Comments

This post is in: Gay Rights are Human Rights

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Jim Newell caught this from Bill Kristol:

Mitt Romney’s hosting a campaign event at Jeffco Fairgrounds in Golden, Colorado around lunchtime today, and a quick scan of Chick-fil-A’s website shows several locations within fifteen miles or so of the Romney event. So it should be easy for Romney to stop at a Chick-fil-A for a photo-op (and a sandwich!) on his way there. He could also place a large take-out order from one of the stores for folks at his campaign event. And while he’s at it, he might follow the example of a caller from Wisconsin to Laura Ingraham’s radio show yesterday, and use his credit card to pay ahead of time for the next several members of the military who show up for a meal.

Mitt munching on a Chick-fil-A sandwich … the right thing to do, and politically smart, too. And tasty.

Is it too much to hope for?

As far as I’m concerned, yesterday’s Chick-fil-A day was just a dog whistle-y way to say “God Hates Fags”, topped with two pickles and served on a bun. If you want a more sophisticated position than that, read this great essay by Wayne Self.

Also, too: Kristol wishes Romney would do this, but I bet Mitt doesn’t have the stones, and he also wouldn’t fucking eat a whole Chick-fil-A.

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Previous Post: « Mitt gets his marching orders
Next Post: Why Mitt Will Lose…Or Your Modern GOP In One Line Of Arithmetic »

Reader Interactions

111Comments

  1. 1.

    Scott S.

    August 2, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Fred Phelps is now a mainstream Republican. How ’bout that?

    EDIT: Come to think of it, so are Tim McVeigh and Eric Rudolph.

  2. 2.

    pseudonymous in nc

    August 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    he also wouldn’t fucking eat a whole Chick-fil-A.

    He’d pick apart the sandwich, take a bite, pronounce it “chicken of agreeability”, then offer the rest to someone behind him in the queue.

  3. 3.

    Roger Moore

    August 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Is it too much to hope for?

    Since it involves Mitt Romney voluntarily doing something to help other people, yes it is. Also, too, I have a hard time imagining Romney voluntarily eating Chick-Fil-A.

  4. 4.

    Epicurus

    August 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Every day Bill Kristol is wrong, the Sun rises in the East. Also, too, he can still eat a bag of salted dicks. (H/T Tbogg, of course!)

  5. 5.

    Cris (without an H)

    August 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I thought the real appeal of Chik-Fil-A was the plate of free samples.

    I’ll give Kristol this much: the photo accompanying his post shows what an actual fast food sandwich looks like: sad and deflated. Not like the big beautiful juicy specimens the chains use to illustrate their menus.

  6. 6.

    Legalize

    August 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    To be fair, I wouldn’t eat that shit either. The fact that Bill Kristol is advising a contrary course of action illustrates that Wimpy Willard is right to keep is head down on this one. And nothing says “support the troops” like ordering them some hate chicken – other than, you know, maybe visiting them overseas. Oh wait.

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    August 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Based on the universal principle of Bill Kristol Is Always Wrong, we can surmise that this would be a disaster for Romney. Somehow. Perhaps he’d show up and order an Italian beef sandwich or something.

    I therefore urge the Romney campaign to immediately follow Mr. Kristol’s sage advice.

  8. 8.

    quannlace

    August 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Well, knowing Romney, he’ll go and eat a sandwich, then go on Fox and say he did no such thing.

  9. 9.

    redshirt

    August 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    I think this sums it up:

    http://i.imgur.com/mxe6p.jpg

  10. 10.

    giltay

    August 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc: I have a hard time seeing him give anyone something for free. No doubt he owns a special sandwich incinerator to make sure no one can eat his crumbs.

  11. 11.

    Gin & Tonic

    August 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    use his credit card to pay ahead of time for the next several members of the military

    Sure would be awesome if the “next several members of the military” who showed up to take advantage of this offer were gay.

    Hey, dickwad, get a clue. If the USMC doesn’t give a shit what your orientation is, why should you?

  12. 12.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    “It doesn’t look like chicken! Heh! You’re not trying to sneak some dog meat in here on me, are you? Heh! Heh! But seriously, I’m happy to be here representing freedom in business, the freedom to be successful. It reminds me of a song…”

  13. 13.

    Dave N.

    August 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Based completely on the fact liberals are opposed to what Chick-fil-A’s CEO has said, right wingers are now lining up to shove deep-fried, overly processed “food” down their pie holes. What is the down side here? Heck, I would contribute $50 so some of these trolls could go back for seconds or thirds. Clog them arteries up! No Obamacare for you!

    Maybe next month liberals should start a campaign about how drinking radiator fluid is bad for your health.

  14. 14.

    stoned stats

    August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    I wish the motherfucker would.

  15. 15.

    General Stuck

    August 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    As far as I’m concerned, yesterday’s Chick-fil-A day was just a dog whistle-y way to say “God Hates Fags”

    I just thank them for being who they are, more and more, without all the double talking arms length pretense. It is much less stressful for the ca rds to all be on the table. It is easier to defeat hate when you don’t have to waste the time to peel onions.

    Didn’t I read where Romney always peels the skin off the chicken he eats? That would be so cool to see. Reckon he could go grilled, but where is the wingnut macho in that?

  16. 16.

    the Conster

    August 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    @Cris (without an H):

    Not like the big beautiful juicy specimens the chains use to illustrate their menus.

    Like the double Whammyburger. “Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with this picture? Anybody?”

  17. 17.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    he might follow the example of a caller from Wisconsin to Laura Ingraham’s radio show yesterday, and use his credit card to pay ahead of time for the next several members of the military who show up for a meal.

    The combination of maudlin sentimentality about the military (“I voted to send you risk your life in a pointless, illegal war that made the country less safe, but here’s a shitty greasy sandwich! You’re welcome, son!”) and small minded bigotry always creeps me out. I thought Laura INgrahm downplayed the anti-gay stuff because of gay family members, but I’m not surprised she puts cheap partisan demagoguery before her family.

    ETA: I often get the sense watching Romney and his team that he’s still in primary mode, trying to shore up the base. Seems like Kristol feels the same way. Personally, I think mouth-breathers who would go out of their way to buy a shitty sandwich to support a mouth breathing bigot are Romney’s surest voters, because hatred and resentment are what gets them out of bed in the morning, to say nothing of getting them to the polls.

  18. 18.

    redshirt

    August 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    @Dave N.: Soon. It’s coming to that.

    “OBAMER SAID I TAIN’T TO DRINK RAT POISON NO MORES MOTHER! I’LL SHOWS HIM!”

    Glug-Glug.

    Dies. XXX

    Yay! Demographic shifts!

  19. 19.

    NonyNony

    August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    Clearly if Bill “Wrong-way” Kristol thinks this is a good idea then it must be the worst possible thing that Romney could ever possibly do at the moment. If Romney goes to a Chick-fil-A and gets a big ol’ chicken sandwich it has every chance of turning into a “Dukakis in the tank” or “HW Bush at the supermarket” moment just because Bill Kristol recommended it.

  20. 20.

    donnah

    August 2, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Our local Chick Fil A restaurants were swamped yesterday. According to the local paper, people showed up to support the “free speech” angle. Which means people could come out in support of their hatred of gays, but in a patriotic way.

  21. 21.

    Tom65

    August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    No one ever lost an election by taking Kristol’s advice.

    What?

  22. 22.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    What a conundrum for Mittens. If he doesn’t do it, he’s a coward. If he does do it, he’s taking advice from Mr. Always Wrong About Everything.

  23. 23.

    Cris (without an H)

    August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Thanks for the link to Wayne Self. That’s a very well-written, heartfelt post, and now I want to see his upcoming play about the Upstairs Lounge fire.

  24. 24.

    frapalinger

    August 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Let the wingers eat this deep-fried, processed fast food shit everyday. What will the result be? They will all get type 2 diabetes, colon cancer, and heart disease. The more of this garbage they eat, the sooner we will be rid of them. The only reason they are doing this is to annoy us. We need to convince them that cliff diving and russian roulette annoy us too.

  25. 25.

    SatanicPanic

    August 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Romney not following Bill’s advice makes me nervous.

  26. 26.

    The Dangerman

    August 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    First, Dixie Chicks.

    Now, Chick-Fil-A.

    Next, Joe Nemechick?

    ETA: Well, hell; he spells his name wrong. Crud.

  27. 27.

    pragmatism

    August 2, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    “Chicken. Warm. Good.”

  28. 28.

    Tonal Crow

    August 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Romney won’t do it because he’s a chickenhawk.

    —
    Tag: Romney’s like Sarah Palin, only less honest.

  29. 29.

    Southern Beale

    August 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Best thing about Chick-fil-hate day is it outted all the bigots, like this Knoxville business owner who offered his customers one year of free sandwiches.

    Good, now I know where else to not take my business.

  30. 30.

    PWL

    August 2, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Well,the smartest piece of advice is: Whatever Bill Kristol says to do, don’t.

  31. 31.

    pseudonymous in nc

    August 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    @giltay:

    I have a hard time seeing him give anyone something for free.

    I was thinking of the story told about how he ordered a hot chocolate from a Starbucks in Park City (not on the campaign trail, just out and about) took a couple of sips then offered it back to the staff to finish off, rather than throwing it away.

  32. 32.

    Martin

    August 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    You know when this might have been a good idea?

    Yesterday.

    Today it just looks desperate.

  33. 33.

    Rey

    August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    … the right thing to do, and politically smart, too. And tasty.

    If Bill Kristol is such a goddamn fucking political genius why doesn’t he run for office? Ditto for Brooks, Friedman, Will, Krauthammer and the rest of those wannabe latter-day Burkes. Say what you want about Mitt “Plastic Man” Romney, but he’s run for and won political office, while each day, these fuck-shit, shit-swilling sophists present themselves as more expert than the experts of whatever subject the Wheel O’Punditry landed on that day. I’d like, just once, to see something more from these assholes than a page-full of word-cum.

  34. 34.

    Cassidy

    August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    Someone wrote on FB yestersay that we should remind conservatives that homosexuality is present in the animal kingdom and that the odds the have a gay chicken inside is pretty good.

  35. 35.

    WereBear

    August 2, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc: There is something flat out wrong with this man. I used to think it was “clueless rich asshole” syndrome, but now I’m starting to really wonder about those brain damage/Alzheimer’s rumors.

    Of course, a major political party wouldn’t let a brain-damaged person continue as the leader, of their party and the free world, with millions of lives in the balance! Hahahahaha! What am I thinking, here?

  36. 36.

    SatanicPanic

    August 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    I wonder if Arby’s or Foster Freeze or some similarly marginal fast-food place is looking at this and calculating how much they could improve their bottom line with a nasty appeal to bigoted dumbasses.

    Which also makes me imagine SUVs full of starving idiots frantically searching for the right fast food chain. Which makes me smile.

  37. 37.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    @donnah: Wingers’ purposeful misunderstanding of the first amendment is every bit as annoying as their redefinition of “theory” in the context of scientific inquiry. Their leaders set up this alternate reality and the rubes rush to live it.

  38. 38.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    August 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    (“I voted to send you risk your life in a pointless, illegal war that made the country less safe, but here’s a shitty greasy sandwich! You’re welcome, son!”)

    and you win this thread’s summed up in one snark competition Jim. rolf

  39. 39.

    cckids

    August 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    use his credit card to pay ahead of time for the next several members of the military

    Even more so if the wage slaves on hand at C-F-A used his card number to run up large bills for pron or donations to ActBlue, etc.

    Security, people!!

  40. 40.

    John (not McCain)

    August 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    “He’d pick apart the sandwich, take a bite, pronounce it “chicken of agreeability”

    I’m pretty sure he’s programmed to say “the nourishment is palatable.”

  41. 41.

    Cassidy

    August 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    @SatanicPanic: If we’re lucky, they’ll find enough fast food joints and start eating that shit up 4 meals a day and Golden Corral twice on Sundays.

  42. 42.

    Punchy

    August 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    @Southern Beale: This was my thought, too. Pull a drive-by just to make a mental photograph of who all the bigots in your town are. Seriously, everyone in line is forming a Bigot Parade, and the participants could be your babysitter.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Javafascist

    August 2, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    If you haven’t seen John Kovalic’s Dorktower today (sorry, no HTML, on mobile because new policy from the man), you really must. Perfect take on this for nerds of a certain age (if you own the original red box, I’m talking to you.)

  44. 44.

    pseudonymous in nc

    August 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @SatanicPanic:

    calculating how much they could improve their bottom line with a nasty appeal to bigoted dumbasses.

    A regional Wendy’s franchise owner in NC had a “WE STAND WITH CHICK FIL-A” sign on all his 80-odd stores; the corporate mothership is “looking into it”.

  45. 45.

    SatanicPanic

    August 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @Cassidy: Let’s buy Heart Attack Grill and rename it Hate Liberals Grill.

  46. 46.

    The Moar You Know

    August 2, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    There is something flat out wrong with this man. I used to think it was “clueless rich asshole” syndrome, but now I’m starting to really wonder about those brain damage/Alzheimer’s rumors.

    @WereBear: He displays what could be symptoms of either mild autism or just piss-poor impulse control – they are, put mildly, easily conflated. Like my abnormal psych teacher said, “there is no diagnosis for asshole”.

    As for Alzheimer’s, not so much. He’s oriented. He knows where he is and what he’s supposed to be doing. He’s not forgetful.

  47. 47.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    August 2, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    @The Moar You Know: Speaking about mental issues – I notice his people use the “but he has a good heart” line a lot. Which me and my friends use to explain a friend who as aspergers. Makes me wonder,..

  48. 48.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Local paper had pics from one of the rare (rare, as in I didn’t know before this a.m. we had any in California) outlets with a line in front, waiting their turn to buy a gheywich. Looking at the demographic, I cannot see any difference between this and a teabag event. These folks will gather at the drop of a (free) hat.

  49. 49.

    Cassidy

    August 2, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    @SatanicPanic: And franchise that mother. Seed Jesusland with some 10K calorie burgers. We’d have this electorate shit wrapped up in no time.

  50. 50.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc:
    Wow, that took balls. And we know what happens when folks think with their balls….

  51. 51.

    4tehlulz

    August 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    @Punchy: Why stop with metnal photographs? Take real ones and post them on the intertrons.

  52. 52.

    Cassidy

    August 2, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    @4tehlulz: Yeah…once he said drive by, I had a completely different image. I won’t lie.

  53. 53.

    MattF

    August 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    The only way that Kristol’s suggestion is not completely stupid is if Mitt’s support among the Rabid Right is showing signs of weakness, and needs to be shored up. But if that’s the case, the Mittster is in very very deep doodoo.

  54. 54.

    Roy G.

    August 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Why? Because fast food is next to Godliness.

    That’s what happens when your church is in a strip mall.

  55. 55.

    SatanicPanic

    August 2, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    @trollhattan: There’s one in San Diego right in front of the Sports Arena. I didn’t know what it was until someone who had lived in the south mentioned them to me. My thought was- don’t they know what happened to Krispy Kreme? Which, oddly enough, was located on that very same spot before it disappeared.

  56. 56.

    Tractarian

    August 2, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    I wish it was the president of Burger King that came out against gay marriage.

    I would love to boycott BK. Chick-fil-A, I’ll miss.

  57. 57.

    Tonal Crow

    August 2, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    I was thinking of the story told about how he ordered a hot chocolate from a Starbucks in Park City (not on the campaign trail, just out and about) took a couple of sips then offered it back to the staff to finish off, rather than throwing it away.

    Where is this documented? Also too, chocolate contains caffeine, which I had understood to be haram for Mormons.

    —
    Tag: Romney: like Sarah Palin, but less honest.

  58. 58.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    He could offer the server his half eaten sammich to show he is “Man of the people” and that “Mormon God Hates Fags” also, too.

  59. 59.

    wasabi gasp

    August 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Or maybe Mitt should rastle down some queer-looking fella and shove a chik-fil-a right into his perty lips.

  60. 60.

    The Moar You Know

    August 2, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    @trollhattan:
    @SatanicPanic:

    They’re not rare in San Diego. We’ve got one in Mira Mesa, Santee, the Sports Arena location, and one under construction up north in Encinitas right now.

  61. 61.

    ET

    August 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Mitt at a Chick fil-a would be the photo op equivalent of Bush 41 getting confused by the grocery scanner. I don’t know if I could script a better illustration of Mitt being a fish out of water.

  62. 62.

    Tonal Crow

    August 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    @Roy G.:

    Why? Because fast food is next to Godliness.

    Gluttony is a sacrament.

    That’s what happens when your church is in a strip mall.

    And when Ayn Rand is among its saints.

  63. 63.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    @Tonal Crow:

    They can play that in many ways. Sometimes it’s the caffeine, other times they say it only stipulates hot liquids or some such thing which makes you wonder how the f#ck cocoa makes it under the wire.

    see: http://suite101.com/article/mormons-and-caffeine-a187573

    While high-caffeine foods like chocolate and caffeinated drinks like cocoa and soda are not officially prohibited in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS or Mormon,) many Mormons avoid them. Mormon church leaders advise members to read the Word of Wisdom and use it to make their own decisions about drinking caffeine.

    Mormon Word of Wisdom

    The Word of Wisdom is accepted as the Lord’s code of health in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It says not to use harmful substances and encourages a balanced diet. The only substances specifically prohibited in the Word of Wisdom are:
    •Alcoholic drinks
    •Tobacco
    •Tea and coffee (listed as “hot drinks” in the wording of the actual revelation)

    Caffeine in the Word of Wisdom

    A statement in the Priesthood Bulletin from 1972 says that “there has been no official interpretation of [the] Word of Wisdom except that which was given by the Brethren in the very early days of the Church when it was declared that ‘hot drinks’ meant tea and coffee. With reference to cola drinks, the Church has never officially taken a position on this matter.”

  64. 64.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Or “punch and pie.”

    xD

  65. 65.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Never, ever forget.

    Bill Kristol pushed Sarah Palin on to John McCain.

    Yes, OvenMitt. By all means. Follow Kristol’s advice!

  66. 66.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc: I stopped eating at Wendy’s 20 years ago because a) I want to live and b) the dead-from-eating-his-own-food Dave Thomas was an anti-abortion freak. Between Wendy’s, the chicken joint and Domino’s (who else am I missing?), fast food company owners seem to love them some wingnut politics.

    @Cassidy: And pay for their acute care after they have MIs on no insurance, because refusing to comply with the ACA mandate is freedumb.

  67. 67.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    @LanceThruster:
    For those Mormons actually paying attention, it must kill them [heh] to read of the many health benefits of coffee and tea. Just another mocking point for me. Adventists also eschew them and given their embrace of health and healthcare, it must be doubly distressing. (I’ll also note I don’t lump the two churches together.)

  68. 68.

    NonyNony

    August 2, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    @Tractarian:

    I would love to boycott BK. Chick-fil-A, I’ll miss.

    I’ve been boycotting Burger King for two decades now because of their bad labor practices.

    Okay, not really. I haven’t eaten at Burger King in going on two decades because their food is awful. McDonald’s has better food (and I don’t utter accusations like that lightly). But they also have a history of bad labor practices.

  69. 69.

    SatanicPanic

    August 2, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    @The Moar You Know: I was gonna joke about how obviously they’d be in Santee and Mira Mesa, but Encinitas? Encinitas is cool. Well, I wish them bad luck up there.

  70. 70.

    g

    August 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Eat fried crap to show you stand for Freedom!

    Actually, there was a story somewhere about how weird Romney is about food – taking the cheese off his slice of pizza, for example. So he probably wouldn’t actually eat the sandwich, but I’m sure he’ll show up to pander.

  71. 71.

    pseudonymous in nc

    August 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    @Tonal Crow:

    Where is this documented?

    Here, courtesy of Jesus’ General: Provo Canyon, not Park City.

  72. 72.

    canuckistani

    August 2, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    I wish there were Canadian Chick-Fil-A’s so I could boycott them.

  73. 73.

    Martin

    August 2, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @LanceThruster: Our Mormon friends say the conventional rule is ‘nothing mind-altering, nothing addictive, nothing you’d categorize as a vice’.

    Caffeine and tobacco are definitely addictive. Alcohol much less so, but certainly falls in the ‘vice’ category. They say it’s a pretty pragmatic rule applied. They don’t stress over medication with alcohol in it. They don’t stress over chocolate.

    Generally cocoa has very little caffeine in it – maybe 3mg vs 300mg for a cup of coffee. Same with most mainstream chocolate. It’s the dark stuff where it starts to get somewhere – and I don’t mean Hershey’s dark, but the really good stuff. You’d have to eat bags of M&Ms (the big Costco bags) to equal a cup of coffee. Once you get out of soda, coffee, tea, energy drinks, caffeine content is imperceptible.

  74. 74.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    August 2, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @shortstop:
    The Right Wing Lifestyle has essentially become an MMO at this point.

  75. 75.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    @wasabi gasp: Or give him a unsolicited hair cropping.

  76. 76.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    @canuckistani:
    Google “Chick-fil-Eh?”s just to be sure.

  77. 77.

    flukebucket

    August 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    @Cris (without an H): Ditto. I put the link on my Facebook page. Wayne Self says it all in that one post.

  78. 78.

    Martin

    August 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    @trollhattan:

    For those Mormons actually paying attention, it must kill them [heh] to read of the many health benefits of coffee and tea.

    Nah. I have coffee occasionally with a Mormon friend. We both drink decaf. Same health benefits. Same with decaf tea. Not sure how the health benefits of alcohol translate, though.

    I’d classify them as pretty mainstream Mormons.

  79. 79.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    @trollhattan: So true. Even the reports that moderate drinkers are healthier than those who completely abstain (they can’t even be called “teatotallers”).

    [btw , I hope you check out the “Waterlife” link from the Climate Change thread since you said you be in the water bidnet]

  80. 80.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @Martin:

    I’ve read studies that the decaffeination process, of all things, is a health risk.

    Can they even suck down an O’Douls?

    [brrrraaaap]

  81. 81.

    Martin

    August 2, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    @shortstop:

    I stopped eating at Wendy’s 20 years ago because a) I want to live and b) the dead-from-eating-his-own-food Dave Thomas was an anti-abortion freak. Between Wendy’s, the chicken joint and Domino’s (who else am I missing?), fast food company owners seem to love them some wingnut politics.

    Carl’s Jr.

  82. 82.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    @pseudonymous in nc:
    That’s quite the story, and completely believable given what we’ll all discovering about Willard.

    GHW Bush had his supermarket scanner moment, which hung the “elite and out of touch” banner on him to his detriment. Willard seems to have one of these moments daily.

  83. 83.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    @g:

    Jeez, taking the f#cking cheese off of pizza?!

    Reminds me of this from “5 Easy Pieces”–

    Dupea: I’d like a plain omelette, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.
    Waitress: (She points to the menu) No substitutions.
    Dupea: What do you mean? You don’t have any tomatoes?
    Waitress: Only what’s on the menu. You can have a number two – a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.
    Dupea: Yeah, I know what it comes with. But it’s not what I want.
    Waitress: Well, I’ll come back when you make up your mind.
    Dupea: Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I’d like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee, and a side order of wheat toast.
    Waitress: I’m sorry, we don’t have any side orders of toast…an English muffin or a coffee roll.
    Dupea: What do you mean you don’t make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don’t you?
    Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?
    Dupea: …You’ve got bread and a toaster of some kind?
    Waitress: I don’t make the rules.
    Dupea: OK, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
    Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?
    Dupea: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.
    Waitress (spitefully): You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
    Dupea: I want you to hold it between your knees.
    Waitress (turning and telling him to look at the sign that says, “No Substitutions”) Do you see that sign, sir? Yes, you’ll all have to leave. I’m not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm.
    Dupea: You see this sign? (He sweeps all the water glasses and menus off the table.)

  84. 84.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    @LanceThruster:
    Biden had fake beer at the “beer summit” but that doesn’t necessarily translate here. If you’re “pure of heart,” why would you ever want to approximate a forbidden experience? Catholic doctrine would probably say that just thinking about it is the same as doing it. Do lifelong vegetarians eat fake bacon? (Am actually curious about that one.)

  85. 85.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    @Martin: I don’t think we have them in the Midwest, but I bravely vow never to eat at one anyway.

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God: Perfect!

    Someone on Facebook just told me I was being “narrow-minded” for not caring that Chick-fil-A products are of good quality. I’ll be goddamned. This is just the kind of stuff I’m talking about, Judas.

  86. 86.

    Martin

    August 2, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    @LanceThruster: I’ll ask. He’d probably shy away from that as a ‘what’s the point?’. Sorta be my take on it too.

    Decaffeination could be a health risk – there are many processes for doing it that fall in to two general camps – chemical processes and water/CO2 processes. Caffeine is HIGHLY water soluble, so the latter processes basically just leach the caffeine out, filter it, and you’re done. You lose some other things, so the filtering step is pretty involved. The former processes could be harmful if any of the chemical residue remains. There are some naturally very low caffeine teas and coffees that they’re working on cross-breeding with conventional strains.

  87. 87.

    Mike in NC

    August 2, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Nobody who cares about human rights decent edible food should frequent Chick-Fil-A “restaurants”.

  88. 88.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Perhaps Mitt has a lactose intolerance to explain the cheese removal incident. You know how normal people would deal with that? By mentioning to the host, loud enough for reporters to hear: “Don’t mind me doing this; I have a lactose intolerance!” Alternatively, he could order something else: “That pizza looks great, but I have a lactose intolerance! I’d love an Italian beef, though!”

    But that would be normal people.

  89. 89.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Good points. I was actually going to add the observation about no impropriety or even the appearance of impropriety. I myself had to get outta the Catholic church once I started to calculate just how often I looked at a woman with “lust in my heart.”

    I have all my theist pals promise to sneak me ice water in hell (or hot cocoa if hell is a cold place [absence of love and wamrth] like a New Outer Limits episode).

    I’m sure that can’t upset the will of the Creator and the balance of the cosmos, eh wot?

  90. 90.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    @LanceThruster:
    Incredible site, thanks for the ref. Just barely dipped my toe in [sorry] but plan to dig deeper. Now, if we could just stick a straw into Lake Superior….

    Also, too, “Cadillac Desert” is one book every westerner needs to read to understand how we got here and why it may not work in the long haul.

    We now return you to your current thread.

  91. 91.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Both born in the same batshit crazy cradle of the “burned over” region of Western New York in the early 19th Century.

  92. 92.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    @trollhattan: Second the thumbs up for Cadillac Desert. Also highly recommend Wallace Stegner’s Beyond the Hundredth Meridian: John Wesley Powell and the Second Opening of the West.

  93. 93.

    Rafer Janders

    August 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    @Martin:

    Our Mormon friends say the conventional rule is ‘nothing mind-altering, nothing addictive, nothing you’d categorize as a vice’.

    And they say Mormons don’t know how to have fun…

  94. 94.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    An Adventist friend told me their founding teachings were the babblings of a girl after being hit on the head with a rock. I’ve never bothered to look it up, because I want to believe it’s true.

    Still beats staring into a hat.

  95. 95.

    trollhattan

    August 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    @shortstop:
    GMTA. I read the Stegner specifically because Cadillac Desert sourced so much from it. Had to be non-ficion because a rowboat expedition being led down unknown raging rivers by a one-armed man is too improbable for fiction.

    Also, too, most of what I know of Mormons is from Stegner.

  96. 96.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    @trollhattan:

    It’s a piece worth savoring anyway. They explain how one bottled water company is sticking their straw in it, and removing vast quantities completely for fun and profit from the water cycle that is already in trouble.

    It’s sad, fascinating, and prescient (see the part about the Chinese sturgeon and other invasive species) all at the same time.

  97. 97.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    @Rafer Janders:

    As a former Catholic, I loved Lent so much that I gave it up for Lent.

    [rim shot]

  98. 98.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    @trollhattan: I know some vegetarians that enjoyed tofu chicken (I thought it was pretty damn good too, albeit a bit spicy and oily).

    My ovo-lacto vegetarian brother and sister-in-law made a lentil chili that I hated (but only because they made it too damn spicy to hide the fact it had no meat).

  99. 99.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    @Rafer Janders:

    For me, it’s all things in moderation, including excess.

  100. 100.

    shortstop

    August 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @trollhattan: If you’re into stories of beat-up men (answering to the name of Lucky) who pull off amazing exploration feats in the western wilderness, check out the cascading travails of Truman Everts in Yellowstone. There’s a book about it, too, but though it’s written by a really great public speaker and Yellowstone expert, Lee Whittlesey, I can’t recommend it.

  101. 101.

    LanceThruster

    August 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    On the history of the western expansion (thx for the reading recs, btw), my burg Palmdale was named that (initially Palmenthal) by the migrating Lutherans who were told that when they see palm trees, they’d be near the ocean. Having never seen one, they thought the Joshua trees (aka yucca palms) were palm trees.

  102. 102.

    chopper

    August 2, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    @dmsilev:

    “listen here you ungracious peon, i didn’t order a baloney sandwich, i ordered an abalone sandwich!”

  103. 103.

    Hungry Joe

    August 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    @SatanicPanic: Yeah, hard to imagine one in Encinitas. I hope they get some push-back now that word about them is … out, as it were.

  104. 104.

    Thoughtcrime

    August 2, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Chick-fil-A-Holes

  105. 105.

    Mnemosyne

    August 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    @trollhattan:

    There’s no prohibition against alcohol in Catholicism, which is why we get to drink wine at 8 am Mass if we want. From what I can tell, Biden is a non-drinker because he has family history of alcoholism on both sides, so he decided that he was better off avoiding it entirely just in case.

    ETA: IOW, Biden doesn’t avoid alcohol because it’s a sin, he avoids it so he doesn’t become an alcoholic. Therefore, it’s his decision about how he wants to do that avoidance and if an O’Doul’s is okay with his conscience, that’s his business.

  106. 106.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    August 2, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Home now so here is the link to the awesomeness that is today’s DorkTower I’d gay marry this comic strip if I wasn’t already married.

  107. 107.

    Jeffro

    August 2, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    You have to wonder, given all the weird food reports, if Romney isn’t some sort of germ-o-phobe…

    …and if that’s related to his disdain of the plebes who might be fixing said hot chocolate, pizza, etc…

  108. 108.

    xian

    August 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    @John (not McCain): “Meat. Salty. Good.”

  109. 109.

    Chet

    August 2, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    @shortstop: O@shortstop: Ancient history, but Ray Kroc was a Nixon supporter.

  110. 110.

    Georgia Leigh

    August 3, 2012 at 11:56 am

    http://youtu.be/LCpYClYzLmA

    I wrote this for my LGBT friends after all this. <3

  111. 111.

    dance around in your bones

    August 5, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    I dunno, I’m watching GoodFellas for the umpteenth time(on AMC)and I am a lot happier.

    Politics just sucks ass sometimes.

    ETA: Sorry, so behind on threads I didn’t even realize this was a days old thread. My bad – disregard.

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