The desperation on Team Romney has apparently gotten so thick since yesterday’s Obamneycare kerfuffle (and the apparent indication that he may not want to declare Exterminatus upon Iran on January 21, 2013) that Mitt is no longer allowed to cut his own steaks anymore, and no longer is allowed to select his poison veep. Apparently, that’s going to be done for him by the WSJ editorial board.
The whispering over Mitt Romney’s choice of a running mate is getting louder, and along with it we are being treated to the sotto voce angst of the GOP establishment: Whatever else Mitt does, he wouldn’t dare pick Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan, would he?
Too risky, goes the Beltway chorus. His selection would make Medicare and the House budget the issue, not the economy. The 42-year-old is too young, too wonky, too, you know, serious. Beneath it all you can hear the murmurs of the ultimate Washington insult—that Mr. Ryan is too dangerous because he thinks politics is about things that matter. That dude really believes in something, and we certainly can’t have that.
All of which highly recommend him for the job.
Yes, Mitt. Listen to the Wall Street Journal. Pick Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver (thank you Chuck Pierce!) Do it quickly so that we can have a good laugh and can get back to the far more important task of keeping the Senate out of the hands of Mitch McConnell. I’m far more worried about the Senate than I am POTUS right now, but considering Romney has gotten bullied into everything else the nutjobs on the right want (when he’s not already at the default nutjob position on that particular policy) then yes, choose Ryan.
Do it. Robot/Zombie 2012, fighting for the one percent. Lose with gusto!
General Stuck
testing
Culture of Truth
He probably should. Which is why he probably won’t.
Raven
Culture of Truth
He probably should. Which is why he probably won’t.
Raven
Raven
“Ryan graduated from Joseph A. Craig High School in Janesville in 1988. He was voted prom king and “Biggest Brown-Noser” by his fellow classmates.[14][15] In college, he briefly worked for Oscar Mayer as a Wienermobile driver.[16]”
Ben Cisco
I’m gonna need a bigger cargo hold if Mitt3PO is stupid enough to go for that.
Raven
Ryan graduated from Joseph A. Craig High School in Janesville in 1988. He was voted prom king and “Biggest Brown-Noser” by his fellow classmates.[14][15] In college, he briefly worked for Oscar Mayer as a Wienermobile driver.[16
Erik Vanderhoff
The FSM doesn’t love me enough for this to occur.
Raven
Ryan graduated from Joseph A. Craig High School in Janesville in 1988. He was voted prom king and “Biggest Brown-Noser” by his fellow classmates.[14][15] In college, he briefly worked for Oscar Mayer as a Wienermobile driver.[16
Ben Cisco
Gonna need a bigger cargo hold if Mitt3PO is stupid enough to fall for that.
Raven
Ryan graduated from Joseph A. Craig High School in Janesville in 1988. He was voted prom king and “Biggest Brown-Noser” by his fellow classmates.[14][15] In college, he briefly worked for Oscar Mayer as a Wienermobile driver.[16
Downpuppy
Amazing that you can get a column at Kaplan without understanding that “_______” is supposed to have an actual quote inside.
Rubin’s “UPDATE” just dug her hole deeper. Good thing they don’t have “Editors”.
Martin
This is the same calculus that led to Palin. There is no path to victory for Mitt under the current rules of play – I think that’s now pretty clear to everyone. There’s no difference between losing by a little or losing by a lot, so you might as well take a risk on a risky VP pick and hope to hell it works out for you. I don’t think Ryan is risky enough, however. Pushing further right isn’t going to change a damn thing.
On the upside, I think Ryan would be more receptive to being called a Hail Mary than Palin.
jrg
…For everyone not currently receiving benefits. Gotta keep the “keep the gubbermunt outa my Medicare!” crowd happy.
Nothing would please me more than a Ryan VP pick. Not just because they would lose, but because everyone who thought that lowering taxes meant MOAR FREE SHIT will have to cope with the fact that they’ve had their heads up their asses since at least 1980.
Raven
Ryan graduated from Joseph A. Craig High School in Janesville in 1988. He was voted prom king and “Biggest Brown-Noser” by his fellow classmates.[14][15] In college, he briefly worked for Oscar Mayer as a Wienermobile driver.[16
jrg
…For everyone not currently receiving benefits. Gotta keep the “keep the gubbermunt outa my Medicare!” crowd happy.
Nothing would please me more than a Ryan VP pick. Not just because they would lose, but because everyone who thought that lowering taxes meant MOAR FREE SHIT will have to cope with the fact that they’ve had their heads up their asses since at least 1980.
Johnny Gentle (famous crooner)
Oh, look…they used the word “dude.” I guess they really do relate to us normal folk. I’m voting Romney!
flukebucket
I think he will go all in and pick Ryan. I think Ryan is dumb enough and conceited enough to accept.
And both will go down in a flaming heap hopefully along with the entire god damn party in November.
ABL
Maddow had a good segment the other night about Democrats spending money in the GOP primaries in order to ensure that the worst possible candidate (i.e., wingnuttiest) got nominated. It worked in Missouri. Claire McCaskill is now running against some guy (Todd Akin, IIRC) who claims that liberals hate God.
Dork
That would open up a Senate seat in Wisky, that despite re-electing Gubbnah Douchebag, would almost certainly seat a Dem. Russ Fieny could re-run, no?
Dork
That would open up a Senate seat in Wisky, that despite re-electing Gubbnah Douchebag, would almost certainly seat a Dem. Russ Fieny could re-run, no?
AA+ Bonds
Erskine Bowles thinks Ryan is presidential material
SERIOUS OBAMA-APPOINTED DEMOCRATS YALL
AA+ Bonds
Reaching the fuck across the aisle, serious proposals and starting the conversation, get excited!
Richard
Pick Ryan and make his voucher”care” for seniors plan the centerpiece of the campaign.
AA+ Bonds
Seriously if he picks Ryan we will get some big fat editorials from deficit-freak Democrats about how cool it all is
The Bowles/Simpson club consider themselves a separate, wiser, superior party and they consider Ryan their best hope to win the Presidency
If you hear any of them speak, you will come to understand that they believe that without their leadership, the entire country will collapse into anarchy and poverty
Geoduck
@Dork: I don’t think Ryan would have to resign from the Senate to run. Lieberman certainly didn’t.
Bulworth
Oh cmon everybody, it’s gotta be the NJ loud mouth bully.
eric
I dont understand any of these potential picks. romney needs an attack dog…someone to say the things Romney cant say because it might not appear presidential. That is the role Biden plays. In that vein, I would go with Santorum. He is no more or less crazy than Ryan. He throws bombs and he excites the base. that is what romney needs.
I think that all of the Ryan talk seriously underestimates Biden. The guy is much sharper than he gets credit for and his life story is still compelling. I like that contrast and I think Biden aggressively goes after the Granny-Killer ™.
Sly
@Bulworth:
Yeah, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937
Who in their right mind would want to be on the ticket with Mittens? Its a lot of work with no chance of winning at this point. I’m becoming convinced that Mitt’s just doing this to make even more money. Every month they claim he’s brought in more but spent less than Obama. There’s a big pile of cash sitting some where.
pseudonymous in nc
As I’ve said before, Ryan has designs on being a Master of the House, offing Orange Julius in a caucus coup and delivering bills to the White House for Rmoney to autopen into law.
Rmoney’s going to pick a milquetoast sycophant.
Quincy
@jrg: Nonsense. Not coping with facts is what the Right does best. Most of the media will absolutely run cover for Ryan’s claims that his plan of major tax cuts, defense spending increases, and cuts to spending on poors and browns is necessary and protects us from the deficit terror stalking our children. Fortunately, I think the left has developed the tools to push back on this a bit if it gets the spotlight attached to a place on the ticket. But Maddow and everyone else will need to earn their money on this one. The key is getting the rest of the village to at least give the issue their usual equivocal, “unbiased” coverage. If the story gets reported as “While Republicans, Pete Peterson and all of Meet the Press think this is the best plan ever, Liberals and facts say it could cut medicare” we’ll be fine. Our side might rack up a record number of pinocchios, but as long as the possibility of medicare cuts gets repeated airtime seniors will be on high alert.
quannlace
I’m trying to think when a VP pick made any real difference to the election. Maybe Kennedy/Johnson, cause Johnson helped bring in southern voters? And Biden was seen to give a little experience to the ticket. But beyond that…….
lacp
@Bulworth: Christie may be a lot of things, but he’s not stupid. No way he’ll go for the VP spot, especially if he’s thinking about running for the top job in 2016.
dogwood
Ryan’s not in the Senate. If you don’t know that, then I’m not gonna take you seriously about much else.
Schlemizel
lots a damn duplicates again!
I think the Ryan pick makes some sense particularly after yesterdays little fustercluck. The Marquis Du Mittens is not seen as “one of us” by the wingnut freak show & despite his desire to have stale weak tea white guy may feel that will not shore up the base the way it needs to be. It might allow him to slide back toward the mythical center (just to the right of Mussolini). Still a win for the better side but he may have been forced into it as the teatards refuse to fall in love
Maude
@Raven:
That made me happy. Thx.
Turgidson
That’s a more accurate quote. The Villagers would faint from the profanity of it all and award Obama seventy-nine pants on fire pinocchios if they actually said it that way though.
Frankensteinbeck
I find this line interesting. The Village is so utterly insulated, so closed to any opinions but those of the rich, that they actually think gutting the safety net so the rich don’t have to pay any taxes is what the country needs. They think it’s not just what benefits themselves, but good policy. Thus supporting Ryan stakes out the contrarian position of doing what’s right instead of what’s expedient, while something like Obamacare is both cheap pandering AND bad politics.
Tonybrown74
@Geoduck:
Ryan is a Representative, not a Senator.
eric
@quannlace: the VP can make a difference by getting memes out there in a more aggressive fashion. Biden is perfect for it because if he ever goes too far, Obama can say “well, that’s joe for ya.”
Maude
@lacp:
Christie is incompetent. He has screwed up NJ finances that it will a real problem fixing them when his butt is booted out.
danimal
Please pick Ryan. We need to utterly destroy the GOP this fall, and Romney/Ryan is the perfect vehicle.
I love the false description the WSJ uses in endorsing Ryan. He’s too serious and wonky, he cares too much about policy, he believes in something, etc. No, the reason Rep. Ryan is so controversial is that his sociopathic policies (as detailed in the Ryan budget) would destroy the economic security of millions of Americans, and most Americans are deeply opposed to his policy choices.
Putting Ryan on the ticket means that Mr. Romney can not avoid issues he’d rather hide in the bushes, under the mattress or in the closet.
22over7
@eric: Romney may need an attack dog, But he certainly does not want one. How gauche. He’ll pick T-Paw or some other white guy that nobody will recognize, because he can’t stand the competition. I used to think that Ryan would be the one, but I think he’d suck too much of what little oxygen there is left in the campaign.
But it would be nice if he picked someone who really reflects heartland American values, someone who could speak to true blue America. I nominate Louie Gohmert.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
As yet another day passes, keep in mind that we still know more about the surface of Mars than we do about Mitt Romney’s tax returns, or about whatever-the-fuck he is going to do to our taxes if elected. The Curiousity Score for today reads
NASA: 1
US Press: 0
priscianusjr
@pseudonymous in nc:
lacp
@Maude: I totally agree he’s a shitty governor (I live across the river in Philadelphia, so I get to see more of him than I’d like to); I just don’t think he’s stupid. NJ’s unemployment rate is over 9%, while PA’s is 7+%; he fucked up the deal for a new connection to NYC, pretending it would be too expensive; and on and on. Unlike a true-blue Tea Party guy, though, I think he knows it’s all bullshit and just doesn’t care – more sociopath than moran.
eric
@lacp: it has to be someone that has no other real job because they are gonna lose and it would be a carrier killer, so that is why i think christie and ryan are really out. Ryan has a job for life as the number one gop in the house for economics. that pays well in a assortment of ways.
Raven
Sorry, this shit is fucked up.
Tom65
Of he could let Bill Kristol pick again. It worked so well last time.
rikyrah
ever since I first read it, it hasn’t left my mind.
was there ever a more apt description of someone?
J.D. Rhoades
Palin did, but I assume you’re talking about making a difference in a positive way for the top of the ticket candidate.
SenyorDave
OT, but I see that Lanny Davis is criticizing the anti-Romney ad. Davis should thank God for Ralph Reed, because he is about the only person more unprincipled than Davis is. Here’s a good chronicle of what a piece of shit he is:
countercurrents.org/lendman090111C.htm
wrb
@Raven:
“The Wiener Driver”
not bad
or “Zombie-Eyed Wiener Driver”
artem1s
@ABL:
Claire McCaskill is now running against some guy (Todd Akin, IIRC) who claims that liberals hate God.
I thought that was part of the GOP national platform.
Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ (formerly IrishGrrrl)
“Mitt is no longer allowed to cut his own steaks anymore”
This made me envision Steve Martin as Ruprecht, with the cork on a fork gag, from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. :)
Jim C
I think the Robot and Zombie should be friends. One likes to push a plow, the other likes to eat a cow, but there’s no reason they cain’t be friends!
Turgidson
@SenyorDave:
You can also add Greg Sargent to the list of liberal handwringers about the Priorities USA ad. Jesus, you’d think that after spending the last 4 years hearing about death panels, pulling the plug on grandma, Obama’s deficit spending destroying the universe, the dozens of personal smears of Obama, Fast and Furious bullshit, the debt ceiling treason, etc. that guys on our side would be willing to tolerate a few arguably low blows (that are a trifle compared to the mountains of lies and bullshit thrown at Obama and the Dems) in the interest of winning this fucking election. Save the pious tsk-tsking until the victory parties are over, you wankers.
Tom65
@Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ (formerly IrishGrrrl): Same here. Come to think of it, that’s a great avatar for Mittens.
Alistair
@Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937: He wants to pay himself back the $35 million he spent of his own money in 2008.
artem1s
@Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937:
I think Portman would do it. He’s a pretty invisible guy and probably thinks he can just go back to a state office in Ohio and melt back into the wood work once the whole embarrassing mess is over. he won’t be as fun as the other potential candidates though. He’s kind of the Chauncey Gardiner of Ohio politics.
eemom
@ABL:
In Texas too the batshit guy beat Rick Perry’s pick in the repub Senate primary (it was big news last week).
Dunno if that’s enough for a Dem to actually win in TEXAS, though. Texans?
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)
Who the hell is the Wall Street Journal editorial board to call other people “Beltway Bedwetters”? The lack of self awareness has enough mass to create a black hole of stupid.
eemom
@Raven:
Actually, it WORKS on this particular thread — kind of like a little chorus. I was giggling my ass off.
wrb
@Turgidson:
I just can’t see what is so bad about the ad, other than it points out an uncomfortable truth. Of course some people will die if their health insurance is taken away, as a result.
Probably several people have died as result of what Romney did to make money.
We can’t know if this woman is one of them, but we can’t know that she isn’t, so she makes a fine illustration of the valid point.
It doesn’t matter that she had her own coverage at the time of the firing. She lost it well before she died, and if her husband hadn’t been fired she’d have been covered under his plan.
The ad is valid.
JGabriel
Zandar @ Top:
I don’t think God loves me that much, not enough to give us the Veep from the Land of Devo Hair. I mean, if she did, you would think I’d have won a multi-million dollar lottery jackpot by now.
.
JGabriel
@Turgidson:
Now, now. Don’t get carried away. Think of all the people on the right who have called out Romney for his lies …
Oh, right. Never mind. Carry on.
.
Stuck In 60s
Mitt doesn’t eat steaks; only filet passes his lips.
Rafalca, OTOH, prefers steak.
eyelessgame
Okay. How about instead of all the rest of this, we consider that choosing the tail end of the Ayn Rand Paul Ryan Human Centipede for a VP candidate would potentially put a Randroid a heartbeat from the Oval Office.
Just to scare the holy fucking shit out of all of you.
phoebes-in-santa fe
Has anyone seen this Daily Kos diary entry about Mitt;s French car accident back in the 1960’s? It makes very interesting reading.
dailykos.com/story/2012/06/29/1104487/-Romney-the-GOP-Cult-of-Lying
danielx
@Schlemizel:
Mittens could nominate Jesus as his veep candidate and still couldn’t buy any love from wingnuts. They regard him as a RINO now just as they did in the primaries, and from what I can tell they’re feeling even less warm now than they did then.
pseudonymous in nc
@priscianusjr:
Nah: the assumption is that Cantor becomes speaker and Ryan becomes Maj Leader if Boner gets boned.
mclaren
Comrades, we must eliminate every trace of the running dog c(r)apitalist vermin. Make no distinctions between them — Mitt Romney or Paul Ryan, all must go. Vote ’em out, vote ’em out, vote ’em all out.
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney should be arrested and indicted and tried as an accessory to the murder of Joe Soptic’s wife, and Mitt should also be tried for depraved indifference (the same charge that gets leveled at a bystander who sits around doing nothing when a stabbing victim begs someone to call an ambulance).
NotMax
Ryan.
Rhymes with lyin’.
What’s that whirring sound?
Doggerel artists sharpening their pencils.
isildur
Came for the politics, stayed for the 40k reference.
Citizen_X
What’s the title from (if anything)? I love it so much I want to marry it.
Kathleen
@artem1s: The local media in Cincy are swooning over the prospect of St. Rob of Portman as VIP pick. They’ve already subjected us to interviews with Mrs. St. Rob. An orgasm of Smarm Swarm.
Right/Left = Impulse/Thoughtfulness
Don’t forget:
Republican Paul Ryan’s hero is psychopath loving sociopath Ayn Rand who modeled her libertarian philosophy on child murderer William Hickman’s statement “What is best for me is right”.
Rand’s hero Hickman butchered a child that he’d kidnapped and held for ransom.
Seriously: dailykos.com/story/2011/04/19/968385/-Hero-or-Monster-Ayn-Rand-and-William-Hickman
Ayn Rand’s sociopathic philosophy perfectly represents the Republican Party, Paul Ryan, and Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal.